Retirement helped me reconnect with family
When Linda Heenan’s children were young, her family never really spent much time together as both Linda and her husband were working all the time. Linda was a primary school teacher and often had to work overtime. Her husband, who was a nurse, had lots of night shifts, which made spending quality time with their daughter and son quite difficult.
“My husband and I were both working so we hardly ever ate as a family. There was always someone missing. My husband worked night shifts and slept during the day so everyone had to be quiet,” Linda recalls.
While both parents were working hard to support the family, it did take its toll on the children.
“Our son retreated to his room more and more. He spent years boarding at university and only came home for the holidays. He missed having a father who could go down to park with him, teach him to use tools and do other father and son activities,” says Linda, adding, “We managed just one family holiday when our kids were growing up.”
All of this changed when Linda and her husband retired. They sold their family home and moved to the New South Wales coast to care for Linda’s elderly mother. Their son also moved in with them while he job hunted and finished his TAFE course. After a marriage breakdown, their daughter and grandchildren moved into a place just around the corner from the family.
“Now we all see each other most days,” Linda smiles. “Our daughter and grandchildren eat with us several times a week. We have become a very close family,” she adds.
In retirement, Linda and her husband finally had the time to catch up on the family life they never really had. She reveals, “Before retirement, we hardly knew how to talk to our adult children, as we had spent so little time together. Now we know them very well. We have built trust, closeness, and a support system that makes sure everyone is cared for. We have gone from seeing our grandchildren at birthdays and Christmas, to seeing them every day, watching them grow up, having time to pass on our skills.”
The Heenan family have never been closer. The opportunity to reconnect with her children since retiring is something that Linda is grateful for – and a second chance she isn’t going waste.
“We feel as though we have been very fortunate to have a second chance to be a loving, caring family that can rely on one another. We have become important to one another and forged a bond in retirement, that was lacking during our working lives,” she explains.
The Heenan’s story is not uncommon with many parents from the boomer generation working hard to support their families, which left little time for a family life. With the stresses of the working life left behind, retirement provides the perfect opportunity to focus on the people and activities that matter most.
To ensure you continue to strengthen your relationships and keep them growing in retirement, here are three handy hints:
1. Stay in touch – Keep in regular contact with family and try to visit often. If you don’t live close to your family, the wonders of the internet can keep you connected through FaceTime, Skype, text messages and email. Set up a routine so you ensure you have frequent contact.
2. Get together – Organise regular get-togethers such as a dinner night, a movie day, or a sports outing. Even something as simple as eating together will build closer family relationships.
3. Reach out – If your family hasn’t been close in the past, make the first move and reach out to your children and grandchildren. Let them know how important building a close relationship is to you and offer to visit them, babysit the grandchildren or organise a family day out.
This article has been sponsored by AustralianSuper Pty Ltd ABN 94 006 457 987, AFSL 233788, Trustee of AustralianSuper ABN 65 714 394 898. The views expressed are those of Over60 and not AustralianSuper. For more information about AustralianSuper, please visit australiansuper.com.