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"Absolute disappointment": Home and Away fans slam season finale

Fans of Home and Away have been left outraged after the finale of the 2024 season, with many claiming it was "boring and predictable". Viewers of the long-running Aussie soap were disappointed by the feature-length episode that promised "bloodshed" and "deadly consequences" and while it ended with two lives hanging in the balance. The show is set to return on January 13th and pick up where it left off, leading to the resolution that will see fans waiting almost two months for answers. After Thursday night's finale, hundreds of fans flocked to social media to share their annoyance over all the drama being crammed into the last 10 minutes of the episode, despite its 90-minute runtime. "Found the last episode so boring and predictable," one fan said. "How many more coppers are going to end up in jail?" "I have to say, that was ridiculously s**t for a season finale," another complained. "The best bit was the last 15 seconds." "That was the worst ending," someone else said, with another agreeing. "What an absolute disappointment for this year's final episode. Love Home and Away, but this was by far the worst final episode of the season ever." "I was so disappointed with the ending," another fan said. "I expected it to be more drama/suspense but it was quite boring in my opinion. Now an almost 2 month wait for the show to return." While many were disappointed, others were excited to see how the dramatic storyline is set to be resolved in the new year. "I'm so excited for the new season," one fan said. "What am l going to do without this lol it’s pretty sad when you so look forward to it at 7pm," another lamented. "I can't believe I've got to wait till next year, it's already killing me," someone else agreed. Image credits: Home and Away

"Shame on you all": Lydia Thorpe hits back after Senate censure

Independent Senator Lidia Thorpe has spoken out after the Senate voted to censure her over a protest she staged during King Charles' Australian visit. During the monarch's visit to Canberra, Thorpe started yelling from the back of the room following King Charles' speech to a room of political and community leaders at Parliament House's Great Hall. “You committed genocide against our people. Give us our land back. Give us what you stole from us, our bones, our skulls, our babies, our people, you destroyed our land,” Thorpe said during her outburst. “We want a treaty in this country. This is not your land. You are not my King, you are not our King. F*** the colony.” The outburst prompted a vote from the Senate to censure Thorpe - meaning to formally share an expression of the Senate's disapproval - as she responded to the decision on Monday saying, the motion was "a clear articulation of the racism that I continually have to deal with in my workplace." Thorpe said the vote was, "A time where you see Labor and the Liberal party come together to shut down a Blak voice — that’s been happening in this country for over 200 years." The Senate passed a motion 46 votes to 12 to censure her over her actions, as Thorpe entered the Senate chamber after the vote and yelled: "Shame on you all". "If (the king) comes back in, I'll do it again." Thorpe was not present for the vote due to a flight delay, although she said she had contacted Labor minister Don Farrell to ask him to delay the vote but claimed she was "denied my right to be in that chamber whilst everybody else voted to shut me down". Thorpe later told reporters she "did not give a damn" about being censured and tore up a piece of paper with the motion on it. Thorpe said in a statement before the vote took place that that motion showed "where the major parties' priorities lie". "They don't stand with First Peoples in this country. They stand against justice for our people, preferring instead to defend a foreign king, rather than listen to the truth," she said. "In no way do I regret protesting the King ... it is time this country reckons with its history, and puts a stop to the continuing genocide on First Peoples." Image credits: MICK TSIKAS/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock Editorial

Legal

Man charged after allegedly killing neighbour in front of children

A man has been charged with murder after allegedly stabbing a Melbourne mum to death in front of three young children. There was an apparent dispute between the two neighbours, and it has been reported that the 47-year-old man knocked on the home of a 51-year-old woman and attacked her multiple times with a knife. Emergency services were called to the home on Cousin Drive, Bayswater, in east Melbourne on Saturday morning, where the woman was found dead. Police said the woman's children, aged 16 and 11, and the alleged attacker's son, 17 witnessed the incident, with one of them sustaining a minor injury. "It's not a family violence incident, it is a tragic set of circumstances," Victoria Police detective senior sergeant Chris Ellway said on Saturday. "They're being looked after at the police station at the moment, statements are being taken and their welfare is being taken care of there," he added. The man was arrested a short time later and appeared at Melbourne Magistrates Court on Sunday while he was withdrawing from drugs and alcohol, the court heard. He has since been charged with one count of murder and remanded in custody and will appear at a committal on February 14. "Another woman lost at the hands of a man is just horrible," Ellway said. Images: Nine News/ Facebook

Legal

Menopause is having a moment. How a new generation of women are shaping cultural attitudes

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bridgette-glover-2232638">Bridgette Glover</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> From hot flashes to hysteria, <a href="https://rowman.com/ISBN/9780739170007/Periods-in-Pop-Culture-Menstruation-in-Film-and-Television">film and TV</a> have long represented menopause as scary, emotional and messy. Recently, celebrities have been sharing their personal menopause experiences on social media, helping to re-frame the conversation in popular culture. We are also seeing more stories about menopause on television, with real stories and depictions that show greater empathy for the person going through it. Menopause is having a moment. But will it help women? <h2>The change onscreen</h2> This is not what we’re used to seeing on our screens. Countless sitcoms, from All in the Family (1971–79) to Two and a Half Men (2003–15) have used the menopause madness trope for laughs. Retro sitcom That ‘70s Show (1998–2006) used mom Kitty’s menopause journey as comedic fodder for multiple episodes. When she mistakes a missed period for pregnancy, Kitty’s surprise menopause diagnosis results in an identity crisis alongside mood swings, hot flashes and irritability. But the audience is not meant to empathise. Instead, the focus is on how Kitty’s menopause impacts the men in her family. Having to navigate Kitty’s symptoms, her veteran husband likens the experience to war: “I haven’t been this frosty since Korea”. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mPLJBZiKV4U?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> Even when male characters are not directly involved, women are determined to reject menopause because they see it as a marker of age that signals a loss of desirability and social worth. In Sex and the City (1998–2004), Samantha describes herself as “day-old bread” when she presumes her late period signifies menopause. This is a popular framing of menopause in <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2018.1409969">post-feminist TV</a> of the 1990s and early 2000s. While the <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2012.712373#d1e783">menstruating body</a> is constructed as uncontrollable and in need of management, the menopausal body requires management and maintenance to reject signals of collapse. These storylines erase the genuine experiences of confusion, discomfort and transformation that come with menopause. <h2>A cultural moment arrives</h2> <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/12/31/460726461/why-2015-was-the-year-of-the-period-and-we-dont-mean-punctuation">Since 2015</a>, stories of menstruation have increased in popular culture. Series like comedy Broad City (2014–19) and comedy-drama Better Things (2016–22) directly call out the lack of menopause representations. When Abbi in Broad City admits she “totally forgot about menopause”, a woman responds “Menopause isn’t represented in mainstream media. Like, no one wants to talk about it”. Similarly, in Better Things, while watching her three daughters stare at the TV Sam laments: “No one wants to hear about it, which is why nobody ever prepared you for it”. And lack of preparation becomes a key theme for perimenopausal Charlotte in the Sex and the City reboot, And Just Like That … (2021–) when she has a “flash period”. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9AmwXuHo-2w?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> Fleabag (2016–19) included a groundbreaking monologue about menopause delivered by Kristen Scott-Thomas, playing a successful businesswoman. She describes menopause as “horrendous, but then it’s magnificent”. <blockquote> […] your entire pelvic floor crumbles, and you get fucking hot, and no one cares. But then you’re free. No longer a slave. No longer a machine with parts. </blockquote> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RZrnHnASRV8?wmode=transparent&start=13" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> Scripted by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, this <a href="https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-menopause-20190524-story.html">celebrated</a> monologue critiques the post-feminist notion of striving to be the “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2012.712373#d1e783">idealised feminine body</a>”. Through this new feminist lens, menopause is acknowledged as both painful – physically and emotionally – and necessary for liberation. <h2>Today’s menopause on screen</h2> Alongside more recent series like The Change (2023), multiple documentaries including <a href="https://www.tamsenfadal.com/the-m-factor">The (M) Factor</a> (2024), and <a href="https://theconversation.com/there-is-no-future-for-ageing-women-how-the-substance-uses-body-horror-in-a-feminist-critique-239729">arguably</a> even films like The Substance (2024), social media has become a prolific space for raising awareness about menopause. Celebrities use social media to share tales of perimenopause and menopause, often in real time. Last year, actor Drew Barrymore experienced her “first perimenopausal hot flash” during her talk show. And ABC News Breakfast guest host, Imogen Crump, had to pause her news segment, saying <blockquote> I could keep stumbling through, but I’m having such a perimenopausal hot flush right now, live on air. </blockquote> Both Barrymore and Crump shared clips of their live segments to their social media pages, to challenge stigma and create conversations. Crump even posted to <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/posts/imogen-crump-6b74b726_perimenopause-activity-7127788484861300736-mhHh/">LinkedIn</a> to raise awareness in a professional setting. In a podcast interview clip shared to Instagram, writer and skincare founder, Zoë Foster Blake describes perimenopause as a “real mental health thing”, because of the lack of awareness. Recalling conversations with other perimenopausal women, Foster Blake says “We all think we’re crazy. We don’t know what the fuck is going on”. Feeling “crazy” is a constant theme in these conversations. As actor and <a href="https://stripesbeauty.com/pages/founder-story">menopause awareness advocate</a> Naomi Watts points out, this is largely thanks to Hollywood. Despite the stigmatising media stereotype of “crazy lady that shouts”, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ3BN9rS_7g">Watts argues</a> that with “support and community”, women experiencing perimenopause and menopause “can thrive”. In fact, Watts believes menopause should be celebrated: “we know ourselves better, we’re wiser for our cumulative experiences”. Medical professionals like American doctors <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DBUCPW5OUTf/">Marie Clare Haver</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C7IfaHDgXMY/">Corinne Menn</a> have been well-positioned to share their expertise and experiences via social media. They are catching and helping fuel a wave of advocacy and awareness for midlife women’s health. <h2>Building community</h2> After watching the menopause madness trope on our screens for decades, we are now seeing perimenopause and menopause depicted with more empathy. These depictions allow viewers – those who menstruate, who have menstruated, and who know menstruators – to feel seen and be informed. By sharing their experiences on social media and adding to these new screen stories, celebrities are building a community that makes the menopausal journey less lonely and helps those on it remember their worth.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/241784/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bridgette-glover-2232638">Bridgette Glover</a>, PhD Candidate in Media and Communications, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/menopause-is-having-a-moment-how-a-new-generation-of-women-are-shaping-cultural-attitudes-241784">original article</a>. </div>

Body

"I miss her daily": Fergie opens up on friendship with Diana

As the Duchess of York wraps up her visit Down Under, she has shared some of her most cherished memories in an interview with 9Honey. Following a busy schedule of meet and greets as part of her book tour, Sarah Ferguson opened up on her friendship with the late Princess Diana, who, like the duchess, is a beloved member of the royal family. "The thing about Diana was that she had the best sense of humour of any single person I know – that's quite a big thing, so it's a really big hole because she'd get my sense of humour," the duchess told the publication. "It's really, really hard to really make me cackle with laughter like she used to. "And so, yes, I miss her daily, and I think in the '80s it was just her and I, wasn't it?" The two women were brought together by their marriages to then Prince Charles and Prince Andrew, and the royal affectionately recalled their strong bond. "There isn't anybody else to know, really, what we know because there was no social media and it was just newspaper headlines. "I was so proud of her, what she achieved, and she would be SO proud of her grandchildren. "Oh, my goodness. Can you imagine? She would be just loving every moment. "She was a great lady, and she still is a great lady." The duchess was originally scheduled to visit Australia in October, after she was invited by her Western Australia-based publisher, Serenity Press to showcase her commitment to literature, wellness and empowerment. However, she postponed her visit to not overshadow the King and Queen's tour. The soon to be grandmother of four celebrated the launch of her newest books including Flora & Fern: Wonder in the Woods which is a children's book, and Fabulous Food Art, which is a cookbook she created in collaboration with Melbourne mother and TikTok star Laleh Mohmedi, of Jacob's Food Diaries. Image: Alisdair Macdonald/ Shutterstock Editorial

Family & Pets

Jamie Oliver's book pulled from shelves over Indigenous Australian subplot

Jamie Oliver has had his new children's book pulled from shelves after a subplot about Indigenous Australians was deemed "disrespectful" and "damaging". The celebrity chef and author released his second children’s book in May, titled Billy and the Epic Escape, in which the protagonist takes a brief detour from England to Alice Springs, where the villain of the story abducts a young Indigenous girl living in foster care in an Indigenous community. The National Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Education Commission (NATSIEC) led the calls for the book to be withdrawn, accusing Oliver of perpetuating harmful stereotypes and “trivialising complex and painful histories”. NATSIEC chief executive Sharon Davis told <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/food/2024/nov/10/jamie-oliver-pulls-childrens-book-from-shelves-after-criticism-for-stereotyping-indigenous-australians-ntwnfb" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Guardian</a> that the book implied Indigenous families “are easily swayed by money and neglect the safety of their children”, adding, “[It] perpetuates a racist stereotype that has been used to justify child removals for over a century.” “This portrayal is not only offensive but also reinforces damaging biases.” Oliver, who is currently in Australia promoting his latest cookbook, said in a statement, “I am devastated to have caused offence and apologise wholeheartedly. It was never my intention to misinterpret this deeply painful issue. Together with my publishers we have decided to withdraw the book from sale.” Penguin Random House UK also released a statement on the book, conceding, “It is clear that our publishing standards fell short on this occasion, and we must learn from that and take decisive action. With that in mind, we have agreed with our author, Jamie Oliver, that we will be withdrawing the book from sale.” Both Oliver and Penguin Random House UK revealed that during the writing of the book, no consultation with Indigenous Australian individuals or organisations had taken place. Indigenous children’s author Cheryl Leavy told The Guardian the decision to pull the book from shelves was the right one, saying, “It makes it possible for Penguin Random House to build relationships with First Nations communities and tell better stories.” “It’s time now for Penguin Random House to work with First Nations advisers to put structural measures in place that prevent this from ever happening again.” Image credits: Penguin Random House UK/Ken McKay/ITV

Books

"Rot in hell": Family of murdered paramedic speak out over ruling

The man charged with murdering New South Wales paramedic Steven Tougher has been found not criminally responsible due to a mental health impairment, with Tougher's family "appalled" by the decision. In April 2023, Tougher, 29, was stabbed in a McDonald’s carpark by Jordan Fineanganofo, 23, in a frenzied attack at 5am in the Sydney suburb of Campbelltown. The father-to-be had been eating with a colleague when he was approached by Fineanganofo, who stabbed him 55 times and leaving 24 incised wounds. “I am going to f**king kill you,” Fineanganofo said to Mr Tougher, according to the agreed facts and court documents. Mr Tougher was rushed to hospital after the attack, but suffered a cardiac arrest and died at the hospital shortly after he arrived. Both the defence and the Crown prosecutor agreed the court could find Fineanganofo was not responsible because of his mental health issues, with Justice David Davies stating on Friday that he cannot be held criminal responsible. “I am satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt that the accused committed the psychical acts,” he said. “(I) find the accused was suffering from a mental impairment at the time he committed the acts”. Justice Davies found Fineanganofo had been suffering from a mental health impairment at the time of the attack and did not know the wrongness of his actions because of his illness. The court was told Fineanganofo experienced auditory hallucinations, increasing paranoia, and suicidal ideation before the deadly attack, as the 23-year-old told psychiatrists that he heard voices telling him to harm himself and others in the weeks leading up to the offences, and believed he was surrounded by malignant demons. As Justice Davies handed down his decision, Tougher's friends and family broke down in court. “You chose not to take your medication, you’re the demon,” one person shouted at Fineanganofo as he was taken into custody, while another person yelled, “Rot in hell, you dog.” Outside court, Mr Tougher’s father Jeff said the family were “appalled” with the outcome. “It is neither what we wanted nor what we expected,” he said. “Stephen has been lost in this deeply flawed and broken process.” The heartbroken father said the family “strongly oppose” the court's decision to agree to a finding of not criminally responsible, and they were “deeply offended” they were not consulted before the decision was made. Mr Tougher’s father said the family would be pushing for an inquest into the “deplorable” circumstances surrounding his son’s death. “We are damaged today, but we’re not broken. The system is broken, and as a family, we will be fighting for change,” he said. “My son will not be forgotten, nor will his death be dismissed.” Image credits: Facebook

Legal

Former Home and Away star's joyful baby news

Former Home and Away stars Rebecca Breeds and Luke Mitchell are expecting their first child together. The Australian actress and her co-star turned husband confirmed the happy news on Instagram. The 37-year-old actress made her little baby bump debut at the Adelaide Film Festival and shared a picture of herself on the red carpet looking stunning in a form-fitting pink dress. “VERY excited to share baby Mitchell and @kangarooislandmovie coming sooooooooon! Thanks @adlfilmfest for having us and everyone who came to support us🙏🤍,” she wrote on Instagram on Tuesday. The mum-to-be rested one of her hands on top of the baby bump as she proudly smiled for the cameras. The actress was at the festival for the premiere of her new film Kangaroo Island on the event's closing night. Her husband commented on the post with a series of heart-eyed emojis. Breeds' co-stars and fellow actors were quick to congratulate the couple in the comments. “Congratulations Bec and Luke! Very exciting news,” Home and Away star Lynne McGranger said. “Ahhhhh amazing you guys! This is the best news!” former Home and Away actress Jessica McNamee added. “Congrats!!!!!” A Perfect Pairing actor Adam Demos said. The couple first met on the set of Home and Away in 2009 and quickly became a fan-favourite off-screen relationship. Breeds played Ruby Buckton on the soap between 2008 and 2012, while Mitchell played Romeo Smith between 2009 and 2013. The couple tied the knot in January 2013 and went to live and work in the US for years before returning to Australia. Images: Instagram/ Seven

Relationships

"This is revolting": Senator calls for investigation over Kyle and Jackie O comments

A senator has called for an investigation over the constant "vulgar" comments made by Kyle and Jackie O on their morning radio show, claiming the show is "misogynistic" and "racist". Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Young has questioned the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) during a senate hearing, asking why an investigation hasn't been launched into their on-air conduct. She said jokes about “being gay” and “divisive and violent language about women and sex” had been aired on the popular program, which is broadcast on the KIIS FM network on weekdays between 6am and 10am. Handing around printed copies of just some of their remarks, Senator Hanson-Young asked the ACMA whether these comments were appropriate for air during the early morning slot. During the hearing, Senator Hanson-Young asked ACMA Chair Nerida O’Loughlin whether she would be able to read them out, to which Ms O'Loughlin replied she would “prefer not to”, noting she “wouldn’t think they were appropriate for parliamentary language”. “These comments, this content, just a snapshot since September. Jokes about people being gay, jokes about one of the producers’ Asian housemates, jokes about dating men who are not quote ‘white’,” Senator Hanson-Young said. “Jokes about the sexual and racial profiles of other journalists from other stations, divisive and violent language about women and sex, and goes into vulgar detail about sex acts. Comments on air that refer to fellow hosts as being annoying ‘b****’, jokes about overweight women and mental health." Senator Hanson-Young said the content was “not just vulgar” but “disgusting”. “It’s belittling, belittling of women, it’s misogynistic, it’s racist, it’s sexist – it’s off,” she said. Senator Hanson-Young went not on to reference 59 complaints about the show made between July and October, but Ms O'Loughlin but noted under the co-regulatory framework that complaints needed to be “dealt with by the broadcaster first and come to us for investigation after that”. Senator Hanson-Young pointed out the ACMA doesn’t have to wait for “specific complaints” to undertake motion investigations, asking why the ACMA hasn’t launched an investigation, claiming the comments breach decency standards. “Why haven’t you? This is revolting, sexist, racist, misogynistic, divisive stuff on free to air radio from 6am in the morning … to 10am in the morning, and you haven’t investigated it?” Ms Hanson-Young said. Ms O’Loughlin said, “We have not turned our mind to undertaking such a review, but I’m happy to take your concerns on notice and discuss that with the authority. We will take those (comments) seriously, and we’ll have an internal conversation.” Image credits: Facebook

Legal

How do children learn good manners?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sophia-waters-501831">Sophia Waters</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> Ensuring kids have manners is a <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074">perennial preoccupation</a> for parents and caregivers. How, then, do you teach good manners to children? Modelling good manners around the home and in your own interaction with others is obviously crucial. But there’s a clear <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074">uniting theme</a> when it comes to manners in Australia: in Australian English, good manners centre on honouring personal autonomy, egalitarianism and not appearing to tell people what to do. <h2>Which manners matter most in Australia?</h2> Some of the most important manners in Australian English are behavioural edicts that focus on particular speech acts: greeting, requesting, thanking and apologising. These speech acts have a <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074/179857">set of words</a> associated with them: <ul> <li>hello</li> <li>hi</li> <li>may I please…?</li> <li>could I please…?</li> <li>thank you</li> <li>ta</li> <li>sorry</li> <li>excuse me.</li> </ul> Good manners make people feel comfortable in social situations by adding predictability and reassurance. They can act as signposts in interactions. Anglo cultures place a lot of weight on <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216612001014">egalitarianism</a>, personal autonomy and ensuring we don’t <a href="https://www.google.com.au/books/edition/English/d-d5AAAAIAAJ?hl=en">tell people what to do</a>. If you want to get someone to do something for you – pass you a pen, for example – you frame the request as a question to signal that you’re not telling them what to do. You’ll also add one of the main characters in Anglo politeness: the magic word, “<a href="https://www.academia.edu/20312114/Lige_a_Danish_magic_word_An_ethnopragmatic_analysis">please</a>”. This framing recognises you don’t expect or demand compliance. You’re acknowledging the other person as an autonomous individual who can do what they want. If the person does the thing you’ve asked, the next step is to say “thank you” to recognise the other person’s autonomy. You’re acknowledging they didn’t have to help just because you asked. <h2>The heavy hitters</h2> The words “please” and “thank you” are such heavy hitters in Australian English good manners, they’re two of the words that language learners and migrants <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/epdf/10.1080/10408340308518247?needAccess=true">learn first</a>. They can help soften the impact of your words. Think, for example, of the difference between “no” and “no, thank you”. Of course, there are times when “no” is a full sentence. But what if someone offered you a cup of tea and you replied “no” without its concomitant “thank you” to soften your rejection and acknowledge this offer didn’t have to be made? Don’t be surprised if they think you sound a bit rude. The other big players in Australian English good manners are “sorry” and “excuse me”. Much like in <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BZ1Eid0gnLV/">British English</a>, the Australian “sorry” means many things. These can preface an intrusion on someone’s personal space, like before squeezing past someone in the cinema, or on someone’s speaking turn. Interrupting or talking over someone else is often heavily frowned on in Australian English because it is often interpreted as disregarding what the other person has to say. But in some cultures, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0346251X14001365">such as French</a>, this conversational style is actively encouraged. And some languages and cultures <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S038800011830069X?via%3Dihub">have different conventions</a> around what good manners look like around strangers versus with family. Good manners involve saying certain words in predictable contexts. But knowing what these are and when to use them demonstrates a deeper cultural awareness of what behaviours are valued. <h2>How do children learn manners?</h2> As part of my <a href="https://tidsskrift.dk/sss/article/view/135074">research</a>, I’ve analysed parenting forum posts about “good manners”. Some believe good manners should be effortless; one parent said: <blockquote> Good manners shouldn’t be something that a child has to think about […] teach them correctly at home from day one, manners become an integral part of the way they view things. </blockquote> Another forum user posited good modelling was the key, saying: <blockquote> the parent has to lead by example, rather than forcing a child to say one or the other. </blockquote> One <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38777043/">study</a>, which involved analysis of more than 20 hours of videorecorded family dinner interactions collected in Italy, found mealtimes are also sites where parents control their children’s conduct “through the micro-politics of good manners.” <blockquote> By participating in mealtime interactions, children witness and have the chance to acquire the specific cultural principles governing bodily conduct at the table, such as ‘sitting properly’, ‘eating with cutlery’, and ‘chewing with mouth closed’. Yet, they are also socialised to a foundational principle of human sociality: one’s own behavior must be self-monitored according to the perspective of the generalised Other. </blockquote> In Australian English, that means regulating your behaviour to make sure you don’t do something that could be seen as “rude”. As I argued in a 2012 <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378216612000410">paper</a>: <blockquote> While child socialisation in Anglo culture involves heavy discouragement of rudeness, French does not have a direct equivalent feature […] French children are taught ça ne se fait pas, ‘that is not done’. Where the French proscribe the behaviours outright, the Anglos […] appeal to the image one has of oneself in interpersonal interactions. </blockquote> In Anglo English, the penalties for breaches could be other people’s disapproval and hurting their feelings. <h2>Why are good manners important?</h2> Good manners affect our interactions with others and help us build positive relationships. Fourteenth century English bishop and educator, William of Wykeham, declared that “<a href="https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803100131244#:%7E:text=Manners%20maketh%20man%20proverbial%20saying,Winchester%20and%20chancellor%20of%20England">manners maketh the man</a>”. John Hopkins University Professor <a href="https://ii.library.jhu.edu/2018/12/11/in-memory-of-p-m-forni-the-case-for-civility-in-the-classroom-and-beyond/">Pier Forni</a> called them a “precious life-improvement tool.” The “Good Manners” <a href="https://education.qld.gov.au/about-us/history/history-topics/good-manners-chart">chart</a>, based on a set of rules devised by the Children’s National guild of Courtesy in UK primary schools in 1889, was issued to Queensland primary schools until the 1960s. It tells kids to remember the golden rule to “always do to others as you would wish them to do to you if you were in their place.” Good manners form part of the bedrock for human sociality. Childhood is when we give kids foundational training on interacting with others and help them learn how to be a culturally competent member of a society.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/237133/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sophia-waters-501831">Sophia Waters</a>, Senior Lecturer in Writing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-do-children-learn-good-manners-237133">original article</a>. </div>

Family & Pets

Lessons we can all learn from the "Forgotten Women"

“The greatest underutilised resource in our economy is mothers in their childbearing years,” lawyer <a href="https://womensagenda.com.au/latest/soapbox/time-forgotten-women-australia-rise/">Kate Asher wrote in this publication</a> in 2017. “We have told them since they were little girls that they can achieve anything in life. But after they become mothers, they discover the cruel truth: the system is rigged against them. We all know these women. Many of us are these women – the Forgotten Women.” Sadly, things haven’t changed much in the years since. The Forgotten Women sacrifice so much financially to raise their children – often while also caring for elderly parents or in-laws. The full cost of these sacrifices don’t become apparent until years later. Compounding effects Time away from work means no contributions going into superannuation and inappropriate investments eat away at what they did have. Coming on top of the gender pay gap, it leaves a massive retirement shortfall. Many women returning to paid employment struggle to resume their previous career or full-time work, instead forced into less secure, lower paid part-time and casual jobs. If student loans weren’t repaid before leaving work, those debts have ballooned under years of indexation. We know women bear the brunt of domestic violence. Many marriages end in divorce once grown children leave home. Meanwhile, <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/population/deaths-australia/latest-release#:~:text=There%2520were%2520183%252C131%2520registered%2520deaths,by%252047%2520deaths%2520to%2520911.">far more men die in their 50s and 60s</a> – their pre-retirement years – than women, leaving many young widows. All these factors see women unexpectedly find their partner is no longer the source of income they had counted on. No wonder women over 55 are <a href="https://womensagenda.com.au/politics/local/advocates-call-on-support-for-older-women-and-dv-survivors-this-world-homelessness-day/">the fastest-growing demographic for homelessness</a> in Australia. What can we learn from this? There are many things we can take away from the traumatic experiences of these much-maligned women. Chief among them: don’t be complacent. Maintain visibility of finances, and take action. As a financial adviser, I have met lots of women; many who only sought advice after finding themselves in a financial black hole. I’m also passionately involved with various causes that support disadvantaged women and those fleeing violence. What strikes me about these women is that they almost unanimously say “I never thought this could happen to me”. And for many it can be preventable. We must be proactive in looking after ourselves – our current AND future selves – which means developing our own financial independence. Simply leaving money matters up to our husband or partner is not an option. We also need to get the message to friends, sisters, colleagues…. Breaking the cycle Too many women have sadly come unstuck because they relied on weak financial foundations. Just like the foundations of a house, you need strong foundations on which to build financial independence: <ul> <li>Emergency fund: a ‘get out’ fund should you ever need to flee danger (violence, natural disaster) or your household finances take an unexpected hit (redundancy, illness, another pandemic…). Not having readily available cash in an emergency can leave you stuck or forced to dip into investments or home equity, costing you dearly longer term.</li> <li>Spending and investment plan: more comprehensive than a budget, this plan offers visibility over your incomings, outgoings and assets. Visibility is key to cutting wasteful spending, staying on top of bills, and keeping you aligned on your money goals. Avoid sexually transmitted debt.</li> <li>Insurances: a valuable back-up plan to offset losses and help you recover financially from a disaster – personal and home. For women who are stay-home mums or carers, of particular importance is that your partner has life and income protection insurance, ensuring you can keep a roof over your head should they die or become unable to work, and possibly trauma insurance for yourself.</li> <li>Superannuation: Knowing up-front that you will have nothing going into super while you are not working means you can minimise the shortfall. For instance, consider ‘pre-paying’ extra contributions while you are still earning and/or have your partner make spousal contributions during your time out of work (and have them claim the associated tax benefit), and consider spouse splitting. But know what is happening in his super too, and if in your own business ensure contributions are made for both of you. </li> <li>Estate planning: Ensure your wishes are documented and your children are protected, both after you are gone and in the event you are ever incapacitated. Consider wills, guardianship, power of attorney, superannuation beneficiaries, and tax planning.</li> </ul> With good foundations in place, you can then look to other ways to build your independence. Invest early. Savings and investments you make in your early working years can offset your lack of income once you leave the workforce and continue growing in value for your retirement. Consider upskilling. Distance education allows stay-home parents to obtain new skills and qualifications, enhancing their future employability and earning potential. Stay level-headed in a separation. I’ve seen many women forgo money and investments in favour of keeping the family home, only to realise down the track they can’t afford its upkeep on their own. Or they sign on the dotted line without advice. Remember too that super is part of the joint assets – you could claim part of your ex’s super in the settlement, offsetting your time away from paid work. Finally, consider your approach to parenting. This is 2024: women don’t need to be the sole caregivers. Some couples now both go part-time, allowing them both to maintain a foot in the workforce (and continue earning income and super) while also enjoying time with their youngsters! Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women. Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au/">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a> Disclaimer: The information in this article is of a general nature only and does not constitute personal financial or product advice. Any opinions or views expressed are those of the authors and do not represent those of people, institutions or organisations the owner may be associated with in a professional or personal capacity unless explicitly stated. Helen Baker is an authorised representative of BPW Partners Pty Ltd AFSL 548754. Image credits: Shutterstock

Money & Banking

Teen found not guilty of murdering Brisbane mum

A teenager has been found not guilty of murdering Brisbane mother Emma Lovell, with her heart-broken widow shedding tears at the verdict. The now 18-year-old faced trial on the allegation that he had seen a knife in his co-offender's hand and knew he was armed when the pair broke into the Lovell home on Boxing Day in 2022. The main offender fatally stabbed Emma and hurt her husband Lee in the struggle that followed. With the case largely dependant on crucial split-second CCTV, Justice Michael Copley ruled he could not "be satisfied beyond reasonable doubt that the accused knew the other teen was in possession of the knife". The teenager was found not guilty of Ms Lovell's murder or manslaughter and also acquitted of unlawful wounding, but was found guilty of burglary and assault in company. Outside the court, Lee Lovell became emotional as he told reporters, "I'm not feeling too great at the moment - the verdict was a joke. I don't feel justified for Emma one bit." "You try and do the best you can for her and I don't feel I've been able to do that." Mr Lovell said legislation needed to be changed in order for victims and their families to have justice. "You are a part of killing someone and you get a burglary charge. What does that say for anyone going forward," he said. "We are the ones with a life sentence now." Image credits: Facebook

Legal

Hugh Grant finally reveals his children's names

Hugh Grant has revealed the names of his two youngest daughters for the first time in a candid interview moment. The English actor and father-of-five has never announced the names of two of his children or the gender of his youngest offspring. Now, during an interview with talk show host Jimmy Kimmel, the 64-year-old finally shared that his youngest child was a girl and shared her name with viewers. During a conversation about his own unusual middle name, Mungo, he said, "I was in a bit of a panic with my wife on the day we named [our daughter]." Sharing the hilarious inspiration behind the name, he said, "We thought it might be nice for her when she was older if she could say in bars that her middle name is Danger. So, her name is Lulu Danger Grant. Austin Powers, you know?" Hugh, who also has a son named John Mungo, went on to reveal that his youngest isn't the only child in the family with a fun name. He went on to say that he and his wife Anna were stressed when naming their first daughter, and decided to ask their son for advice. "We asked her elder brother when she was on the way, 'there's a new baby coming along, what shall we call her?'", Hugh explained. "And he said 'Kevin', because that was his favourite Minion." "And we did think about calling her Kevin, but then we said, 'you'd better think of something else', and he said 'Blue', because that was his favourite colour." The announcement was out of character for Hugh, who despite being a huge Hollywood name, tends to keep his personal life out of the spotlight. Image credits: YouTube

Family & Pets

Missing woman found after 12 days in national park

Missing woman Lovisa 'Kiki' Sjoberg has been found alive after almost two weeks lost in the Snowy Mountains region of New South Wales. The 48-year-old photographer was last seen driving into the Kosciuszko National Park on October 15th and was reported missing six days later when she failed to return a hire car. After setting up a command post at the Kiandra Courthouse on the Snowy Mountains Hwy, police began an intensive search for the woman immediately. A wide-scale search was conducted involving the Mounted Unit, Dog Unit, SES, National Parks and Wildlife Service, Rural Fire Service, a Surf Life Saving Helicopter and members of the public. On Sunday afternoon, the woman was found injured on the Nungar Creek Trail at Kiandra. She was treated at the scene by paramedics for exposure and what appeared to be a snake bite before being taken to a local hospital in a stable condition. Worried friends of Ms Sjoberg have expressed their relief and joy on Facebook about the news of her discovery, thanking the community for their support. Image credits: NSW Police / llawarra Police Rescue Squad

Caring

We know parents shape their children’s reading – but so can aunts, uncles and grandparents, by sharing beloved books

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-grace-baulch-1399683">Emily Grace Baulch</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> <a href="https://creative.gov.au/news/media-releases/revealing-reading-a-survey-of-australian-reading-habits/">Over 80%</a> of Australians with children encourage them to read. Children whose parents enjoy reading are <a href="https://www.booktrust.org.uk/news-and-features/news/news-2023/new-research-from-booktrust-reveals-the-impact-of-parental-reading-enjoyment-on-childrens-reading-habits/">20% more likely</a> to enjoy it too. My research has found parents aren’t the only family members who play an important role in developing a passion for reading – extended family, from grandparents to siblings, uncles and great-aunts, also influence readers’ connections to books. I surveyed 160 Australian readers about their home bookshelves and reading habits. More than 80% of them acknowledged the significant influence of family in what and how they read. Reading to children is often <a href="https://www.booktrust.org.uk/globalassets/resources/research/booktrust-family-survey-research-briefing-2-reading-influencers.pdf">the invisible workload of mothers</a>: 95% of mothers read to children, compared to 67% of fathers. Yet intriguingly, those I surveyed – whose ages ranged from their early 20s to their 70s – collectively talked about books being passed down across eight generations. Family members were associated with their most valued books – and their identities as readers. <h2>Treasured possessions</h2> Books passed down through generations often become treasured possessions, embodying a shared family history. One person discussed an old hardcover copy of <a href="https://www.harpercollins.com.au/9780732284350/blinky-bill/">Blinky Bill</a> by Dorothy Wall. Originally given to her father and his siblings by their great-aunt in 1961, the book’s pages are now discoloured and falling out. “Although I always think of my mother as having been my reading role model,” she wrote, “actually my father had an equally big impact, just in another way.” Her father is a central organising figure on her home bookshelf: she has dedicated a whole shelf to the books he liked. The story she tells about his old copy of Blinky Bill, however, crosses generations. The book’s battered state is a testament to its longevity and well-loved status. Its inscription to her family members makes the copy unique and irreplaceable. Another person remembered a set of Dickens’ novels, complete with margin notes and century-old newspaper clippings, carefully stored with her most special books. These volumes, initially owned by her great-great-grandmother and later gifted by her great-aunt, represent a reading bond passed down through generations. Such books can never be replaced, no matter how many copies might be in circulation. These books are closely associated with memories and experiences – they are invaluable for who they represent. A third person has her father’s “old” Anne McCaffrey’s <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/series/40323-dragonriders-of-pern">Dragonriders of Pern</a> series: he read it to her as a teenager, then passed it down. The book “sparked” her interest in science-fiction, and she now intends to pass it on to her own teenager. Her book, too, is “battered”, with “chunks falling out when you read it”. The cover is falling off. The deteriorating state of a book is part of the book’s legacy. It shows how loved it has been. Reading passions can be deliberately cultivated through family, but their value is less connected to reading comprehension or literacy than a sense of connection through sharing. Inherited, much-loved books bind families together. They can anchor absent family members to the present. These books can come to symbolise love, connection and loss. The family members who’ve passed down their books might not be physically present in children’s lives – they may not be reading aloud to them at bedtime – but through their books, they can have a strong presence in their loved ones’ memories. That indelible trace can be sustained into adulthood. <h2>Buying books for the next generation</h2> Another way relatives contribute to a family reading legacy is by buying new copies of much-loved books for the next generation. Theresa Sheen, from The Quick Brown Fox, a specialist children’s bookstore in Brisbane, notes that customers often ask for copies of books they had when they were younger. They may have read them to their children and now want them for their grandchildren. For example, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/series/40767-the-baby-sitters-club">The Babysitters Club series</a> by Ann M. Martin was mentioned multiple times as a nostalgic favourite, now being sought after by grandparents. Readers’ habits of re-buying favourite books can affect the publishing industry. With older children’s classics still selling, publishers seek to update the text to reflect contemporary cultural mores. Enid Blyton is one author who endures through intergenerational love and nostalgia. However, her work is regularly <a href="https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/books-magazines/books/enid-blytons-famous-five-books-edited-to-remove-offensive-words/news-story/47a63bb79a5d870f19aed58b19469bb5">edited and bowdlerised</a> to update it. Books can be imbued with the voices and emotions of others. They are more than just physical objects – they are vessels of shared experiences that can be passed down, up and across generations. This enduring bond between family members does more than preserve individual stories. It actively shapes and sustains a vibrant reading culture.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/232372/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-grace-baulch-1399683">Emily Grace Baulch</a>, Producer at Ludo Studio & Freelance Editor, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-know-parents-shape-their-childrens-reading-but-so-can-aunts-uncles-and-grandparents-by-sharing-beloved-books-232372">original article</a>. </div>

Family & Pets

"Happy wives, happy social lives?" Men are more emotionally disconnected than women – what can be done about it?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/roger-patulny-94836">Roger Patulny</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/hong-kong-baptist-university-2801">Hong Kong Baptist University</a> Many of us are worried about loneliness and isolation, and both <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-be-fooled-loneliness-affects-men-too-15545">decade-old</a> and <a href="https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/how-many-australians-are-lonely/">recent data</a> suggest they impact men more than women. Loneliness predicts health outcomes including <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1745691614568352">early mortality</a>, greater <a href="https://hqlo.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12955-022-01946-6">psychological distress</a>, and more <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41572-022-00355-9">cardiovascular, metabolic and neurological problems</a>. New research also links loneliness to <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-024-18770-w">more intolerant attitudes towards women</a>. These findings raise concerns over the causes and impacts of men’s loneliness and isolation. <h2>A deep dive into loneliness</h2> I recently analysed more than 50 indicators from a decade of data collected by the <a href="https://www.acspri.org.au/aussa">Australian Social Attitudes Survey</a>, from 2011–12, 2015–16, 2017–18, and 2022–23. My statistical models produced results for (self-identified) men and women, after controlling for the impacts of age, employment and partner status. I confirmed that Australian men are more likely to be socially and emotionally disconnected than women. I also found some reasons why this might be the case. I found men appear to focus their emotional energies primarily on their nuclear families and partners. Consequently, they over-rely on their female partners for intimate support and develop more distant, limited and transactional relationships with other people – and other men. <h2>Men are more emotionally disconnected</h2> The data show men continue to lack emotional support on a range of indicators. This puts them at greater risk of health impacts and potentially encourages more toxic attitudes towards women. A significantly greater proportion of men than women reported: <ul> <li>receiving no support from their closest friend</li> <li>receiving fun/practical advice over emotional support from close friends</li> <li>having less contact with a close friend</li> <li>not having anyone for emotional support</li> <li>not feeling “very close” to their closest friend</li> <li>not feeling “love” as their most commonly experienced emotion in the last week.</li> </ul> <h2>Men have more distant, transactional relationships</h2> Why are men in this situation? Masculinity roles are clearly influential. Traditional masculinity encourages men to appear capable, controlled and independent, avoid displays of “vulnerable” emotions or male-to-male affection (like hugging, touch or crying), and embrace the hetero-normative ideal of male provision and leadership. Such norms have been found to constrain male intimacy <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37531906/">by disallowing vulnerability</a>. My data show men tend to develop looser, transactional ties with more distant people. This may reduce the quality of the connection and its potential to reduce loneliness. I have found men are more likely than women to: <ul> <li>think it is OK to befriend someone just because they’ll make a “useful” contact</li> <li>feel obligated to repay favours immediately (foregoing longer-term connections)</li> <li>be kind to others because they “value doing the right thing”, rather than because they empathically connect with or care about the person</li> <li>give and receive kindness from strangers (rather than more familiar people)</li> <li>seek help with household jobs from more distant family or friends</li> <li>seek practical support (money, advice) from private and commercial sources (rather than friends or family)</li> <li>not seek help from family or friends for emotional, sickness or care issues.</li> </ul> This means many men retain an individualist masculine desire to remain emotionally aloof. <hr /> <iframe id="TBJfz" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: 0;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/TBJfz/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> <hr /> <h2>Appearing in control but becoming dependent?</h2> So where do men turn for intimate, emotional connection? Most often, their families. Prior studies show partnered men are <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-024-18770-w">less lonely than single men</a>. My data show men revere the nuclear family institution and the core supportive role of women and female partners. Men are more likely than women to: <ul> <li>believe having children increases their social standing</li> <li>believe family is more important than friends</li> <li>rely on family over friends for support</li> <li>have mixed-gender friendships (in contrast to womens’ predominately female friendships)</li> <li>see their (predominantly female) partner as their closest friend</li> <li>emotionally support their (predominantly female) partner ahead of supporting others.</li> </ul> However, the masculine desire to be a “good nuclear family man” <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37531906/">can both support and impede</a> men’s social connection. Partnered men might feel less lonely but that doesn’t mean they give or gain sufficient emotional support from their nuclear families. My data show men are less likely than women to: <ul> <li>plan or organise social and family activities</li> <li>have at least weekly contact with non-nuclear family or friends</li> <li>emotionally support their friends, family or children ahead of their partners</li> <li>have their partner support them ahead of others (women were more likely to support their children first).</li> </ul> This raises several issues. If men cling to the notion that their primary role is to provide for and support their (female) partner – while she in turn emotionally supports everyone else – they risk becoming personally isolated through diminished networks and outmoded expectations. In this context, men who believe they should earn more than their partners <a href="https://theconversation.com/loneliness-in-the-workplace-is-greatest-among-men-with-traditional-views-about-being-the-breadwinner-230535">are lonelier</a> than other men. It also risks pushing the burden of maintaining social and emotional connections onto <a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/">women and partners</a>, and men becoming socially and emotionally dependent on them. And it can “bake in” hetero-normative family-to-family interactions (organised by female partners) as the most “legitimate” form of socialising for men. This can be highly exclusionary for LGBTQIA+ people, along with single men and single fathers, who register among <a href="https://www.relationships.org.au/relationship-indicators/">the highest rates of loneliness in Australia</a>. <hr /> <iframe id="qCmHw" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: 0;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/qCmHw/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> <hr /> <h2>How can men become more emotionally connected?</h2> Feelings shouldn’t be seen as just a <a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/">“female thing”</a>. Younger men’s more inclusive masculine attitudes can allow them to <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">subvert the “rules” of masculinity</a>, express emotion and embrace <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">“bromances”</a>. Men can also connect emotionally with other men through <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">jokes and humour</a> and participating in shared activities <a href="https://theconversation.com/lost-touch-with-friends-during-lockdown-heres-how-to-reconnect-and-let-go-of-toxic-ones-172853">that allow incidental communication</a>, like Men’s Sheds. The following initiatives may well help men broaden their intimate networks beyond the nuclear family. We could:<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <ul> <li>help men into caring roles through more <a href="https://theconversation.com/loneliness-in-the-workplace-is-greatest-among-men-with-traditional-views-about-being-the-breadwinner-230535">family friendly employment and care-leave policies</a></li> <li>support initiatives such as <a href="https://meninmind.movember.com/">Movember Men in Mind</a> that encourage men to seek help, and improve their emotional expression and support skills</li> <li>encourage partnered, heterosexual men to broaden and diversify their intimate networks beyond the nuclear family bubble, and be more inclusive of single men, single fathers, and LGBTQIA+ people. <a href="https://thephn.com.au/news/the-mens-table-successful-mental-health-initiative-expanding-across-seven-new-regions">Men’s Table initiatives</a> could be of great value here</li> <li>encourage the development of more online <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">safe spaces</a> to form intimate bonds while avoiding toxic online masculine spaces.</li> </ul> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/roger-patulny-94836">Roger Patulny</a>, Professor, Academy of Geography, Sociology and International Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/hong-kong-baptist-university-2801">Hong Kong Baptist University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/happy-wives-happy-social-lives-men-are-more-emotionally-disconnected-than-women-what-can-be-done-about-it-239194">original article</a>. </div>

Mind

Father breaks silence after wife and two children die in tragic drowning

Hoai Nguyen, 32, and her two children, Mitchell, 7, and Hazel, 5, were enjoying a day out at Shearer Park in south-west Sydney, and were walking down to a small pier on the waterfront before they were spotted <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/unimaginable-sorrow-mother-and-two-children-drown-during-family-outing" target="_blank" rel="noopener">struggling in the Georges River</a> about 10.15am on Saturday. Hoai was pulled to shore shortly afterwards, but despite desperate attempts by rescuers and bystanders she could not be revived. The bodies of the two children were recovered a few hours later, metres from a jetty. The children's father, Dinh Nguyen, had been at work during the incident and only found out about the tragedy when police showed up at his house. He has since broken his silence, and told The Sydney Morning Herald that his wife was navigating a mental illness prior to her death. “She has bipolar disorder, and she has some ups and some downs,” he told the publication. “She takes medicine. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.” He also recalled one of the last conversations the couple had, the night prior to the tragedy. “She told me the last night she didn’t sleep so she wanted to stay at home,” he said. According to The Daily Telegraph, detectives are now probing whether the incident was premeditated as they continue their investigations into the tragedy. The southwest Sydney community has since rallied around the family's loved ones, with bouquets of flowers and tributes seen at the riverbank as part of a growing memorial. A close friend of the family, Sarah Vu, has also organised a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/hoai-mitchell-and-hazel-nguyen" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> page for the family which has since raised over $60,600 of their $40,000 goal. “I sincerely thank the entire community for their contributions,” she wrote in a social media tribute on Monday. “The family have decided to bring Hoai and the kids back to Vietnam. “The fund has currently exceeded my expectations, but I will keep the link open for anyone who still wants to donate.” "All we can do now is pray for you and the little ones to depart peacefully,” she added with a video of two young kids holding hands and skipping down a street together. Need to talk to someone? Don't go it alone. Lifeline: 13 11 14, <a href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">lifeline.org.au </a> SANE Support line and Forums: 1800 187 263, <a href="https://saneforums.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">saneforums.org</a> Headspace: 1800 650 890, <a href="https://headspace.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">headspace.org.au</a> Beyond Blue: 1300 224 635, <a href="beyondblue.org.au" target="_blank" rel="noopener">beyondblue.org.au </a> Images: Facebook/ GoFundMe

Caring

New $1m reward for cold case murder of three children

A new $1 million reward is being offered for information about each of the murders of three First Nations children around 34 years ago. Four-year-old Evelyn Greenup, Clinton Speedy-Duroux, 16, and Colleen Walker-Craig, 16, disappeared from Bowraville, a town in northern NSW over a five-month period from September 1990. Evelyn and Clinton's remains were found in nearby bushland, but Colleen's have never been found. The murders were initially investigated separately before being linked by the homicide squad. Now, after various appeals over the decades, NSW Police have issued a re-appeal for information into the murders, with a particular focus on locating the remains of Colleen. “A $1 million reward for information that leads to the arrest and conviction of the person or persons responsible for each of the children’s murder remains in place, as well as for information leading to the location and recovery of Colleen’s remains,” NSW Police said on Monday. Detectives are also going to be spending the week in Bowraville to speak to locals who may have information about the children's deaths. A man, who can't be named for legal reasons, was acquitted of Clinton's murder in 1994, and Evelyn's murder in 2006. The case was the subject of two police investigations, multiple trials, a coronial inquest, and a parliamentary inquiry. In 2018, the government tried to convince the NSW court of criminal appeal that there was fresh and compelling evidence – related to the disappearance of Colleen – in attempt to overturn the two acquittals and instead have a new single trial on three murder charges. However, the court refused to grant special leave to the NSW government to appeal against the decision. In 2019, hundreds protested in front of the gates of the Court of Appeal when a retrial was denied. Images: 7pm TV News NSW/ ABC News

Legal

"Unimaginable sorrow": Mother and two children drown during family outing

A mother and two children have died after struggling to swim in a Sydney waterway, with tributes and donations flowing in to support the grieving father. Hoai Nguyen, 32, and her two children, Mitchell, seven, and Hazel, five, were enjoying a day out at Shearer Park in south-west Sydney on Sunday, when they were spotted in distress in the waters of the Georges River. Hoai was pulled from the river, but despite the best efforts of bystanders and paramedics, she was unable to be revived. Police and volunteers from the State Emergency Service launched a large search and rescue operation for the two children, with divers locating their bodies in the water hours later, metres from a jetty. According to <a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/sydney-news-georges-river-mother-hoai-nguyen-and-children-drown-lansvale/c8601ec9-47a1-4a79-8a12-67c3ff18f3ea" target="_blank" rel="noopener">9News</a>, the children's father and Hoai's husband had been at work during the incident and was only alerted to the tragedy when police showed up at his house. A <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/hoai-mitchell-and-hazel-nguyen" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a> page has been set up by a family friend to support the children's father, Hoai's husband, and their one-year-old brother during the "time of unimaginable sorrow". "A beloved mother and her two young children tragically drowned... leaving behind a profound void in our hearts and a father and baby who is only 1 years old," the fundraiser reads. An investigation into how the mother and her children ended up in the water is ongoing, as NSW Police acting superintendent Luke Scott yesterday described the tragedy as "beyond words". Image credits: GoFundMe

Caring

Desperate search after Aussie man swept out to sea while saving swimmer

A desperate search is underway for an Australian man who got swept out to sea while saving a tourist from drowning on a Bali beach. Craig Laidley, 56, was walking along Balian Beach about 4.15pm on Wednesday when he heard 29-year-old Micro Stalla calling out for help. The Perth man rushed into the water to save the German tourist, but unfortunately Laidley never made it back to shore after being swept out to sea by an "extreme" wave. Laidley, who reportedly lives in Bali, was last seen “drifting back out to the ocean”. He was reported missing to police about three hours later, and they immediately launched a search, with with Denpasar Search and Rescue Office head Nyoman Sidakarya confirming the search is still ongoing. “[On Wednesday] night our team tried to search for victims using land searches and today the Denpasar Search and Rescue Office dispatched 10 people with land and sea SRU divisions,” Sidakarya said. “Information from the team at the location is that the wave conditions are extreme," he added. Rescue teams used rubber boats to search for Laidley within a 10km radius of where he was last seen and also scoured the coastline on foot. Police have also conducted interviews with witnesses as part of their ongoing search. One witness said that there were no warning signs around the beach, despite the dangers. “Incidents like this happen often here,” he told the ABC. “About four months ago, a foreigner went missing. He was found dead 4 hours later. In the last five years, there have been five incidents like this.” Laidley's family have appealed to the public to help find him. “Hello, our family is seeking assistance from the public in Bali,” Craig’s nephew posted on Facebook. “Craig was last seen helping a male that was reportedly drowning in the ocean between Tebing Balian rocks near Balian Beach. “He was then seen drifting back out to the ocean after saving this man’s life.” The search is set to continue on Friday morning. The Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade (DFAT) said it is providing consular assistance to the family of an Australian reported missing in Indonesia. Editors Update: Craig Laidley’s body has been found on the beach on Friday morning by searchers. His two brothers, Bruce and Glenn, arrived in Bali overnight to join the search. His family are still coming to terms with the loss, but have told 7News that they are proud of his heroic rescue and glad that his brothers were there to bring him home. Images: Denpasar Search and Rescue Agency/ Facebook

Caring

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Father breaks silence after wife and two children die in tragic drowning

New $1m reward for cold case murder of three children

"Unimaginable sorrow": Mother and two children drown during family outing

Desperate search after Aussie man swept out to sea while saving swimmer

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