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Woman horrified after man brings his mother to first date

<p dir="ltr">A woman has been left stunned after her crush invited his mother to infiltrate their first date. </p> <p dir="ltr">The young woman took to Reddit to recall the mortifying moment, and to ask users if she was out of line by leaving the awkward date. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 23-year-old began the story by explaining how she matched with a 25-year-old man, who she referred to as Jake, on the dating app Hinge. </p> <p dir="ltr">She explained that the couple had been “chatting for a few weeks, and he seemed like a solid guy — funny, good taste in music, and even remembered I loved Italian food.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“He planned the date at this nice little spot in Dallas, which I thought was sweet,” she added. </p> <p dir="ltr">She continued, “I show up, and everything's fine at first. He's already there, we hug, and he even complimented my outfit.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“But like five minutes after I sit down, this older woman walks in. Jake stands up, waves her over, and says, ‘This is my mom!’ 'I thought I misheard him for a second.”</p> <p dir="ltr">After he introduced his mother to his date, she pulled up a chair and began asking the 23-year-old a slew of invasive questions. </p> <p dir="ltr">“She sits down at the table, all casual, and starts introducing herself to me like this is normal. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, trying to figure out if I'm being pranked. I kind of laugh nervously and say, ‘Oh, I didn't know you were bringing anyone,’ and he goes, ‘Oh, she just wanted to meet you. Don't worry—it's not a big deal’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“But it was a big deal because she didn't just stop by to say hi — she ordered wine and stayed. The whole time, she's asking me these personal questions about my job, my family, even if I want kids someday.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“It was like an interview, not a date. Jake barely said anything. He just smiled and kept nodding like this was all normal,” she revealed. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman then shared that after 20 minutes of the awkward encounter, she decided to leave, and texted Jake that same evening to say she didn’t want to go on another date. </p> <p dir="ltr">She said, “I couldn't take it anymore. I said I wasn't feeling great and needed to leave. I texted him later, saying I didn't think it would work out and wished him well.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Although she thought she did the right thing, she began doubting her decision and questioned if she was in the wrong. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 23-year-old concluded the post by asking, '”Now I feel kind of bad. My roommate says I did the right thing because honestly, who brings their mom to a first date? But my coworker said it was rude to just leave and that maybe his mom was just super close to him or nervous for him or whatever. Was I wrong for walking out?”</p> <p dir="ltr">Reddit users flocked to the comments section and ran to her defence as they slammed Jake for bringing his mother along on the date. </p> <p dir="ltr">One person said, “It's absurd that he would bring her. Unless she needs constant supervision due to some health issue. That is a very strange dynamic. You did what most anyone else would have done. Best of luck.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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Hotel booking sites actually make it hard to get cheap deals, but there’s a way around it

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-martin-682709">Peter Martin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/crawford-school-of-public-policy-australian-national-university-3292">Crawford School of Public Policy, Australian National University</a></em></p> <p>Booking a place to stay on holidays has become a reflex action.</p> <p>The first thing many of us do is open a site such as <a href="https://www.wotif.com/">Wotif</a>, <a href="https://au.hotels.com/?locale=en_AU">Hotels.com</a> or <a href="https://www.trivago.com.au/">trivago</a> (all of which are these days owned by the US firm <a href="https://www.accc.gov.au/media-release/accc-will-not-oppose-expedia%E2%80%99s-proposed-acquisition-of-wotif">Expedia</a>), or their only big competitor, <a href="https://www.booking.com/">Booking.com</a> from the Netherlands.</p> <p>Checking what rooms are available – anywhere – is wonderfully easy, as is booking, at what usually seems to be the lowest available price.</p> <p>But Australia’s Assistant Competition Minister Andrew Leigh is concerned there might be a reason the price seems to be the lowest available. It might be an <a href="https://ministers.treasury.gov.au/ministers/andrew-leigh-2022/media-releases/supporting-tourism-and-accommodation-providers-set-their">agreement not to compete</a>, or the fear of reprisals against hotel owners who offer better prices.</p> <h2>Agreements to not compete</h2> <p>Leigh has asked the treasury to investigate, and if that’s what it finds, it may be the booking sites have the perverse effect of keeping prices high, especially when the substantial fees they charge hotels are taken into account.</p> <p>For now, the treasury is seeking information. It has set a deadline of <a href="https://treasury.gov.au/consultation/c2022-338978">January 6</a> for hotel operators and booking sites to tell it:</p> <ul> <li> <p>the typical fees charged by online booking platforms</p> </li> <li> <p>the details of any agreements not to compete on price</p> </li> <li> <p>whether hotels that try to compete get ranked lower on booking sites.</p> </li> </ul> <p>What’s likely to come out of it is a ban on so-called price-parity clauses that prevent discounting, or a ban on “algorithmic punishment,” whereby hotels that do discount get pushed way down the rankings on the sites.</p> <p>But in the meantime, there are things we can do to get better prices, and they’ll help more broadly, as I’ll explain.</p> <h2>Flight Centre precedent</h2> <figure class="align-right zoomable"></figure> <p>Back in 2018, in a case that went all the way to the High Court, the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) forced <a href="https://www.accc.gov.au/media-release/flight-centre-ordered-to-pay-125-million-in-penalties">Flight Centre</a> to pay a penalty of A$12.5 million for attempting to induce airlines not to undercut it on ticket prices.</p> <p>That the ACCC eventually won the case might be an indication price-parity clauses are already illegal under Australian law. But it’s a difficult law to enforce. This is why the treasury is considering special legislation of the kind in force in France, Austria, Italy and Belgium.</p> <p>The ACCC has known for some time that Expedia and Booking.com have included clauses in their contracts preventing hotels offering the same room for any less than they do, even directly.</p> <p>Rather than take the big two to court, in 2016 the ACCC “reached agreement” with them to delete the clauses that prevented hotels offering better deals <a href="https://www.accc.gov.au/media-release/expedia-and-bookingcom-agree-to-reinvigorate-price-competition-by-amending-contracts-with-australian-hotels">face-to-face</a>.</p> <h2>The concession that conceded little</h2> <p>From then on, hotels were able to offer better deals than the sites over the phone or in person, but not on their own websites. Given we are less and less likely to walk in off the street or even use the phone to book a hotel, it wasn’t much of a concession.</p> <p>Then, in 2019, with the Commission under renewed pressure from hotel owners for another investigation, Expedia (but not Booking.com) reportedly <a href="https://www.smartcompany.com.au/business-advice/competition/expedia-allow-hotels-undercut-prices-online/">waived</a> the rest of the clauses, giving hotel owners the apparent freedom to advertise cheaper prices wherever they liked including on their own sites without fear of retribution.</p> <p>Except several appear to fear retribution, and very few seem to have jumped at the opportunity.</p> <h2>Algorithmic punishment</h2> <p>An Expedia spokesman gave an indication of what might be in store when he was quoted as saying a hotel that undercut Expedia might “find itself ranked <a href="https://www.smartcompany.com.au/business-advice/competition/expedia-allow-hotels-undercut-prices-online/">below its competitors</a>, just as it would if it had worse reviews or fewer high-quality pictures of its property”.</p> <p>Being ranked at the bottom of a site is much the same as not being ranked at all, something Leigh refers to as “algorithmic punishment”.</p> <p>It’s not at all clear the present law prevents it, which is why Leigh is open to the idea of legislating against it.</p> <p>Although you and I may not often think about what hotels are paying to be booked through sites such as Wotif and Booking.com, and although what’s charged to the hotel isn’t publicised, it appeard to be a large chunk of the cost of providing the room.</p> <p>One figure quoted is <a href="https://www.smartcompany.com.au/industries/tourism/online-travel-booking-fed-up-small-businesses-call-accc-action/">20%</a>. Leigh says hotel owners have told him the fees are in the “<a href="https://ministers.treasury.gov.au/ministers/andrew-leigh-2022/transcripts/interview-geraldine-doogue-abc-saturday-extra">double digits</a>”, something he says is quite a lot when you consider the sites don’t need to clean the toilets, change the sheets or help on the front desk.</p> <h2>‘Chokepoint capitalism’</h2> <p>What this seems to mean (the treasury will find out) is almost all bookings are more expensive than they need to be because firms that sit at the “<a href="https://theconversation.com/chokepoint-capitalism-why-well-all-lose-unless-we-stop-amazon-spotify-and-other-platforms-squeezing-cash-from-creators-194069">chokepoint</a>” between buyers and sellers are squeezing sellers.</p> <p>A hotel could always abandon the sites and offer much cheaper prices, but for a while – perhaps forever – it will be much harder to find.</p> <p>In their defence, the operators of the platforms might say they need to get the best offers from hotels in order to make it worthwhile for the operators to invest in their sites, an argument the treasury is inviting them to put.</p> <p>In the meantime, with some hotels reluctant to put their best rates on their websites, but with them perfectly able to offer better rates over the phone, there’s a fairly simple way we can all get a better deal – and help fix the broader problem by weight of numbers.</p> <p>If we look up the best deal wherever we want online, and then phone and ask for a better one (or a better room), we might well find we get it. We might be saving the owner a lot of money.</p> <p>Leigh reckons the more we do ring up, the more the sites might feel pressure to discount their own fees, helping bring prices down even before he starts to think about writing legislation.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/196460/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-martin-682709"><em>Peter Martin</em></a><em>, Visiting Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/crawford-school-of-public-policy-australian-national-university-3292">Crawford School of Public Policy, Australian National University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/hotel-booking-sites-actually-make-it-hard-to-get-cheap-deals-but-theres-a-way-around-it-196460">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Travel Trouble

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Family heartbroken after school removes teen's memorial site

<p>Charlotte O'Brien, 12, sadly <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/mother-s-heartbreaking-farewell-at-bullied-daughter-s-funeral" target="_blank" rel="noopener">took her own life</a> on September 9 after experiencing relentless bullying at Santa Sabina College in Strathfield, Sydney. </p> <p>Following the young schoolgirl's tragic death, her heartbroken family set up a memorial for her on a tree near the school. Her aunt Melinda Rodgers explained it was the only way they could bid farewell to the teen. </p> <p>“It was something we wanted to do for Charlotte because we didn’t get the opportunity to say goodbye,” she told <em>Nine News</em>.</p> <p>“It was our special way of giving her something to say you mattered and we miss you.”</p> <p>The memorial was set up over the weekend, with a small plaque put in place and flowers which began piling up as others started to pay tribute to the 12-year-old. </p> <p>On Monday afternoon, the memorial site had been removed. The family first realised this when they saw Charlotte's grandfather, who had previously left flowers at the site, “wandering aimlessly up and down the street … trying to find the memorial site to lay his flowers”</p> <p>“Words cannot express how devastated we were,” Rodgers said, after finding out the memorial site had been removed. </p> <p>Paulina Skerman the principal of the school, confirmed they had removed the memorial “because of concerns that were raised about the impact this could have on young people”. </p> <p>She explained that  the school was “with Charlotte’s family to find a permanent and loving way to remember Charlotte” and promised the 12-year-old would “not be forgotten”.</p> <p>Despite the school's explanation, Charlotte's father Mat, said he was “running out of words” to describe his feelings about the situation. </p> <p>“From the school’s perspective, If I was given advice to remove those things, I wouldn’t have touched them,” he said, adding it would be a "positive step" for the school to put up a permanent memorial to his daughter. </p> <p>Her parents had previously opened up about how disappointed they were in the school for reportedly showing "no empathy" during their <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/parents-disappointed-by-principal-s-response-to-daughter-s-suicide" target="_blank" rel="noopener">20-minute meeting</a> with the principal, following Charlotte's death. </p> <p>“We arrived there and met with the principal. When I shared the feedback, she wasn’t interested in receiving that. The feedback was interrupted. It was discounted. It was disagreed with," Mat said at the time.</p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">Need to talk to someone? Don't go it alone.</span></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Lifeline: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">13 11 14</span>, <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">lifeline.org.au </a></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; background-color: #ffffff;"><span style="color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica Neue, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol, Noto Color Emoji;"><em>Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 or <a href="http://kidshelpline.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">kidshelpline.com.au</a></em></span></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; background-color: #ffffff;"> </p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">SANE Support line and Forums: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">1800 187 263,</span> <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://saneforums.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">saneforums.org</a></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Headspace: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">1800 650 890,</span> <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://headspace.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">headspace.org.au</a></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Beyond Blue: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">1300 224 635</span>, <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/beyondblue.org.au" target="_blank" rel="noopener">beyondblue.org.au </a></em></p> <p> </p> <p><em>Images: news.com.au</em></p>

Family & Pets

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‘Dark tourism’ is attracting visitors to war zones and sites of atrocities in Israel and Ukraine. Why?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/juliet-rogers-333488">Juliet Rogers</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>There is a disturbing trend of people travelling to the sadder places of the world: sites of military attacks, war zones and disasters. Dark tourism is now a phenomenon, with <a href="https://dark-tourism.com/">its own website</a> and dedicated tour guides. People visit these places to mourn, or to remember and honour the dead. But sometimes they just want to look, and sometimes they want to delight in the pain of others.</p> <p>Of course, people have long visited places like the <a href="https://www.auschwitz.org/en/visiting/guided-tours-for-individual-visitors/">Auschwitz-Birkenau</a> Memorial, <a href="https://www.911memorial.org/911-faqs">the site of the Twin Towers</a> destroyed in the 9/11 attacks, <a href="https://www.robben-island.org.za/tour-types/">Robben Island Prison</a>, where Nelson Mandela and others spent many years, and more recently, <a href="https://chernobyl-tour.com/english/">the Chernobyl nuclear power plant</a>. But there are more recent destinations, connected to active wars and aggression.</p> <p>Since the <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/2024/10/11/one-year-hamas-oct-attack-israel-northern-border-1961816.html">Hamas military attacks</a> of October 7 2023, in which around 1,200 people were killed and more than 250 taken hostage, celebrities and tourists have visited the related sites of the Nova music festival and the Nir Oz Kibbutz in Palestine/Israel.</p> <p>The kibbutz tours, guided by former residents, allow people to view and be guided through houses of the dead, to be shown photographs and bullet holes. Sderot, the biggest city targeted by Hamas, is offering <a href="https://apnews.com/article/israel-gaza-hamas-oct-7-tourism-sderot-8b21f590c37fa6780bf9190d6bfb62b7">what it describes as “resilience tours”</a>, connecting tourists with October 7 survivors.</p> <p>Similar places are visited <a href="https://wartours.in.ua/2023/02/25/dark-tourism-in-ukraine/">in Ukraine</a>. The “popular” Donbas war tour, for instance, takes visitors to the front lines of the conflict and offers “a firsthand look at the impact of the war on the local population”, introducing them to displaced locals, soldiers and volunteer fighters. There’s also <a href="https://wartours.in.ua/en/">a Kyiv tour</a>, which takes in destroyed military equipment and what remains of missile strikes.</p> <h2>Solidarity tours</h2> <p>These tours have various names, but <a href="https://touringisrael.com/tour/october-7-solidarity-tour/">one Israeli company</a> calls them “solidarity tours”. The idea of solidarity lessens the presumption of voyeurism, or the accusation of ghoulish enjoyment of pain or suffering. It suggests an affinity with those who have died or those who have lost loved ones.</p> <p>But solidarity is a political affiliation too. These tours are not only therapeutic. They are not only about “bearing witness”, as many guides and visitors attest. They are also about solidarity with the struggle.</p> <p>What is this struggle? Genocide scholar Dirk Moses <a href="https://www.bostonreview.net/articles/more-than-genocide/">has written thoughtfully</a> on this after October 7. Colonial states seek not just security, but “permanent security”. This makes them hyper-defensive of their borders. Israel was created as a nation <a href="https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/truman-israel/">by the newly formed United Nations</a> in 1947, two years after the end of World War II and in the shadow of the Holocaust: it was an inevitable product of the <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-century-on-the-balfour-declaration-still-shapes-palestinians-everyday-lives-86662">Balfour Declaration</a> (1917) that carved up the Middle East.</p> <p>The creation of the Israeli state turned relationships between Palestinians and Jewish people into borders to navigate and police, producing a line of security to defend.</p> <p>These borders have long been sites of humiliation and denigration toward Palestinians, whose homelands have been now occupied for many generations. Israeli Defense Force soldiers themselves <a href="https://www.breakingthesilence.org.il/testimonies/videos/29690">have spoken passionately</a> about the brutal and arbitrary violence that occurs there, <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10978-016-9195-y">including “creative punishments”</a>. These were the borders that protected the sites targeted by Hamas. The Nova music festival was five kilometres from one of these borders.</p> <p>For many Israelis, any breach of those borders, any sense of loss of control, courts the terrors of the past. It raises the spectre of the Holocaust: the destruction of European Jewry, the loss of sovereignty over family, home, and over life, the loss of millions of lives, again. For Israel, as for any colonial state, security is a permanent aspiration, in Moses’s terms. The stakes are high.</p> <p>Dark tourism, seen in this light, is not only solidarity with those who have lost loved ones on October 7. It is solidarity with the border, with those who have lost that security. And that loss is profound, traumatic and, at least psychologically, can provoke violent reactions in an effort to have the borders – geographical and psychological – reasserted.</p> <h2>‘I stand with you’</h2> <p>Transitional justice mechanisms such as the truth commissions in <a href="https://www.justice.gov.za/trc/">South Africa</a>, <a href="https://www.usip.org/publications/2002/02/truth-commission-timor-leste-east-timor">Timor Leste</a> and <a href="https://www.usip.org/publications/1983/12/truth-commission-argentina">Argentina</a> apply legal frameworks to heal nations from the trauma of crimes against humanity. These mechanisms are one choice after experiences of mass violence. Ironically, their catchphrase is <em>Nunca Mas</em> (never again), which was the title of the 1984 report by Argentina’s <a href="https://www.usip.org/publications/1983/12/truth-commission-argentina">National Commission on the Dissappeared</a>.</p> <p>Permanent security of the kind Israel is seeking is another choice – and its catchphrase might well be the same. Never again will Israel’s borders be breached, never again will Jewish life be subjected to mass destruction with impunity.</p> <p>This is what solidarity can mean: not only grieving alongside those who have suffered, but attachment to an identity and borders, which are reinforced through participation. “I stand with you” is perhaps what the visits are for. I stand with you on this land, at this time, and perhaps for all time.</p> <p>But stand beside you in what now? In grief, yes. But also in rage, in pain, in vengeance and, for some, in making Israel great again.</p> <p>The hashtag #standwithus accompanies some calls for visits to the October 7 sites, for this form of tourism. It means stand with us at Israel’s border. From there, you can hear the sound of bombs falling: <a href="https://inews.co.uk/news/world/israel-7-october-massacre-sites-dark-draw-tourists-3101715">in Gaza</a>, a place where no solidarity tour will go. Yet.</p> <h2>Memorials, grief and understanding</h2> <p>Dark tourism is not always for those associated with the events. Some people visit sites of disaster and loss because they want to understand the greater sadnesses of the world and its formidable brutalities. Some want to show their respect to others. It’s not dissimilar to visiting memorials.</p> <p>Memorials collate the disparate parts of grief and reflect it as public memory. They offer fragments of historical pain that can be borne in more than one mind, to create a shared reality.</p> <p>In Pretoria, South Africa, a memorial called <a href="https://www.freedompark.co.za/">Freedom Park</a> depicts the names of every person who died in every war fought in South Africa, as well as those South Africans who died in the world wars. The names are written on a wall that circles the park. It is impossibly long and circular, and you cannot measure it with your own stride. It is disorientating and interminable, like grief.</p> <p>In this memorial-metaphor, you are unable to comprehend – and at the same time are awash with – a history of loss, represented by the names. The walls contain you, and then they cannot. Grief and even solidarity is not always about comprehension or containment. Sometimes it is about proximity. Sometimes, it is about sitting with not knowing. Sometimes, it is about solidarity with something that cannot be made sense of.</p> <p>Trauma, psychoanalysis tells us, is an experience of what we cannot assimilate. If you sit in proximity to people and places where traumatic events have happened, you can learn something. If you see the bullet holes at a site of loss, you can comprehend something. But not everything. Bullet holes in a wall are the very definition of a partial story.</p> <p>People visit memorials and sites of loss to learn and to unlearn. Dark tourism has this quality.</p> <h2>Obscenity of understanding</h2> <p>In my field, criminology and trauma studies, we try to understand why people do the violent things they do. Holocaust filmmaker and commentator <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/26303924">Claude Lanzmann has said</a> we must not indulge in what he calls the “obscenity of the project of understanding” in relation to Nazi perpetrators of the Holocaust.</p> <p>He regards curiosity about the minds of perpetrators and the rationale for violence as a violence in itself. Of the Holocaust, he says you cannot ask “Why were the Jews killed?”. It is the result that matters. But it is also the reaction that matters. The state of Israel itself – permanent security and its attendant horrors – is part of that reaction.</p> <p>But understanding can influence the reaction to violence, and contribute something to the promise of Never Again. Understanding allows us to hold more than one story in mind. It allows us to do more than <a href="https://www.ochaopt.org/">count the more than 1,200 killed</a> in Israel, or the 41,689 (plus) Palestinians killed in Gaza. Bodies are always more than numbers. But explanation is one thing, justification another. Justification is best left to the courts, international or otherwise, after the violence has ceased.</p> <p>It is hard to hear about dark tourism in Israel/Palestine and in Ukraine and try to understand it. It is hard not to condemn the tourists. But we are quick to condemn at this time – and even quicker to demand others do the same. Perhaps we should not be so righteous, and we should resist the urge to easily condemn, from our homes in what <a href="https://www.mup.com.au/books/after-mabo-paperback-softback">Tim Rowse has called</a> the “ongoing colonial encounter sometimes called ‘Australia’”.</p> <p>Indigenous people here speak of the lack of memorials on this land. But every bordered property is a site for dark tourism in Australia. Dark tourism is the effort to seek out destinations of violence and devastation, but it is not hard to see genocide from our front door in this country.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/240119/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/juliet-rogers-333488"><em>Juliet Rogers</em></a><em>, Associate Professor Criminology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dark-tourism-is-attracting-visitors-to-war-zones-and-sites-of-atrocities-in-israel-and-ukraine-why-240119">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Travel Trouble

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Readers response: Are there any particular museums or historical sites that have made a lasting impression on you?

<p>When travelling around the world, some museums, attractions and historical sites can have more of a lasting impact than others. </p> <p>We asked our readers if there are any particular places that have had a lasting impression on them while travelling, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Anne Hare</strong> - The Alhambra in Granada, Spain. Absolutely beautiful. Don't miss it!</p> <p><strong>Sandra Beckett</strong> - Seemingly little known, but the British Library in London has an absolutely jaw-dropping permanent exhibition of literature. Original handwritten manuscripts from famous authors through the ages. Wonderful for book lovers.</p> <p><strong>Jackie A Morris</strong> - St Paul's Cathedral London. Not being one to get into churches, but I went there as my son asked me to. I was in awe, managed the climb to the spire as well. Etched in my memory.</p> <p><strong>Christine Taylor</strong> - The Pantheon is certainly up there.</p> <p><strong>Tony Hallam</strong> - The Colosseum in Rome. I was in awe knowing i was standing in the place where gladiators had stood and fought 2000 years ago.</p> <p><strong>Pamela Rigby</strong> - In Flanders Fields, Ypres, Belgium.</p> <p><strong>Kris White</strong> - Killing Fields in Cambodia, chilling and desperately sad.</p> <p><strong>Gayle Morris</strong> - Stonehenge and the Cliffs of Moher.</p> <p><strong>George Jamieson</strong> - The statue of David in Florence, out of this world!!!</p> <p><strong>Jim Janush</strong> - Museo De La Revolución, Havana, Cuba.</p> <p><strong>Margie Buckingham</strong> - The Uluṟu rock base at sunset- its eerie silence is unnerving.</p> <p><strong>Steve Gerreyn</strong> - Cathedral of Seville. Magnificent.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <div style="font-family: inherit;"> <div class="x1rg5ohu xxymvpz x17z2i9w" style="display: inline-block; vertical-align: middle; width: 22px; font-family: inherit;"> <div class="html-div xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x1hy63sm xg01cxk xhva3ql" style="margin: 0px 0px 0px 11px; padding: 0px; opacity: 0; font-family: inherit;" aria-hidden="false"> </div> </div> </div> <div class="x6s0dn4 x3nfvp2" style="font-family: inherit; align-items: center; display: inline-flex; min-width: 447px;"> <ul class="html-ul xe8uvvx xdj266r x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x1n0m28w x78zum5 x1wfe3co xat24cr xsgj6o6 x1o1nzlu xyqdw3p" style="list-style: none; margin: 0px -8px 0px 4px; padding: 3px 0px 0px; display: flex; min-height: 15px; line-height: 12px; caret-color: #1c1e21; color: #1c1e21; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, '.SFNSText-Regular', sans-serif; font-size: 12.000001px;" aria-hidden="false"> <li class="html-li xdj266r xat24cr xexx8yu x4uap5 x18d9i69 xkhd6sd x1rg5ohu x1emribx x1i64zmx" style="display: inline-block; padding: 0px; margin: 0px 8px;"> </li> </ul> </div>

Travel Trouble

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Readers response: What advice would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship?

<p>When entering the dating world, there are always nerves, expectations and excitement at any age.</p> <p>But when it comes to dating and starting new relationships in your senior years, priorities can be skewed, and meeting someone can be nerve-wracking. </p> <p>We asked our readers what advice they would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Judy Chappell</strong> - Don’t! Nothing better than independence &amp; freedom late in life after 63 years married. I have my kids, grandkids, great grandies &amp; great friends that’s enough for me. Don’t need another male around.</p> <p><strong>Jan Heggie</strong> - If it feels right, do it. If it doesn’t feel right after a while, leave. Life is too short to not enjoy it.</p> <p><strong>Karen Simpson Nikakis</strong> - Put legals in place to protect your assets, do not cohabit or marry, and split all bills. </p> <p><strong>Lois Hone </strong>- Be true to yourself. Choose someone who completes you, the one person you feel you can’t live without. The one person, who makes you smile, laugh and is still there when you are sad and hurt and wants to support you. Oh and if they like to cook and clean as well, go for it!</p> <p><strong>Julie Fause</strong>r - Live each in your own home.</p> <p><strong>Marilyn Langelaar </strong>- Do not compare to previous partner.</p> <p><strong>Janet Olsson</strong> - Be careful. Don't rush into anything.</p> <p><strong>Lynn Dilley</strong> - Just go for it if you are happy and feel safe, but keep your money and documents to yourself.</p> <p><strong>Merle Finlayson</strong> - Go for it! It’s never too late.</p> <p><strong>Margot R McCamley </strong>- Enjoy the relationship, but there are always buts so tread carefully. Think it through thoroughly, but don't dismiss it as folly.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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Readers response: What are your thoughts on online dating or dating apps for seniors?

<p>When it comes to dating, there are many ways people find their perfect person, and for many that happens online. </p> <p>We asked our readers what their thoughts are on an online dating app for seniors, and the responses were overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Kristeen Bon</strong> - I tried it for a bit, but found the men to be so unrealistic in their expectations. What they say they want and what they REALLY want are poles apart.</p> <p><strong>Helen Smith</strong> - It works great but men really need to look in a mirror now and then.</p> <p><strong>Sue Rowley</strong> - Personally, I’m happy on my own, but if you’re looking for a partner where else is there to meet someone? Pub, supermarket, dog walking? Not many options really, especially when you’re older.</p> <p><strong>Jenny Gordon</strong> - Would not consider it. Would prefer to stay single than see how friends and relatives have been affected by using them.</p> <p><strong>Ali Veldman</strong> - Risky at any age, in my opinion.</p> <p><strong>Diane Derby</strong> - I’d never entertain one. I like being by myself, plus two much catfishing and ghosting to be able to find a decent type.</p> <p><strong>Margaret Godfrey</strong> - Tried it. A dismal failure in a small population. What is the point of men interstate responding when you live a plane flight away?</p> <p><strong>John Coffey</strong> - Met my late partner online, and had a great 10 years. It can be a minefield though.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Relationships

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Are you up to date with your COVID, flu and other shots? It might depend on who your GP is

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-breadon-1348098">Peter Breadon</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anika-stobart-1014358">Anika Stobart</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a></em></p> <p>Too many older Australians are <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/A-fair-shot-How-to-close-the-vaccination-gap-Grattan-Institute-Report.pdf">missing out</a> on recommended vaccinations for COVID, flu, shingles and pneumococcal that can protect them from serious illness, hospitalisation and even death.</p> <p>A new <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/">Grattan Institute report</a> shows vaccination rates vary widely from GP to GP, highlighting an important place to look for opportunities to boost vaccination.</p> <p>Many people get vaccinated at pharmacies, and those vaccinations are counted in our analysis. But we looked at GPs because they have a unique role overseeing someone’s health care, and an important role promoting vaccination.</p> <p>We found that for some GPs, nine in ten of their older patients were vaccinated for flu. For others, the rate was only four in ten. The differences for shingles and COVID were even bigger. For pneumococcal disease, there was a 13-fold difference in GPs’ patient vaccination rates.</p> <p>While some variation is inevitable, these differences are large, and they result in too many people missing out on recommended vaccines.</p> <h2>Some GPs treat more complex patients</h2> <p>A lot of these differences reflect the fact that GPs see different types of patients.</p> <p>Our research shows older people who aren’t proficient in English are up to 15% less likely to be vaccinated, even after other factors are taken into account. And the problem seems to be getting worse.</p> <p>COVID vaccination rates for people 75 years and older fell to just 36% in May 2024. But rates were even lower – a mere 11% – for people who don’t speak English proficiently, and 15% for those who speak a language other than English at home.</p> <p>Given these results, it’s no surprise that GPs with fewer patients who are vaccinated also have more patients who struggle with English. For GPs with the lowest vaccination rates, one-quarter of their patients aren’t proficient in English. For GPs with the highest vaccination rates, it is only 1%.</p> <p>GPs with fewer vaccinated patients also saw more people who live in rural areas, are poorer, didn’t go to university, and don’t have regular access to a GP, all of which reduce the likelihood of getting vaccinated.</p> <p>Many of these barriers to vaccination are difficult for GPs to overcome. They point to structural problems in our health system, and indeed our society, that go well beyond vaccination.</p> <p>But GPs are also a key part of the puzzle. A <a href="https://www.ijidonline.com/article/S1201-9712(14)01379-4/fulltext">strong</a> <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/21645515.2020.1780848">recommendation</a> from a GP can make a big difference to whether a patient gets vaccinated. <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/primary-health-care/general-practice-allied-health-primary-care">Nearly all</a> older Australians visit a GP every year. And some GPs have room for improvement.</p> <h2>But GPs seeing similar patients can have very different vaccination rates</h2> <p>We compared GPs whose patients had a similar likelihood of being vaccinated, based on a range of factors including their health, wealth and cultural background.</p> <p>Among the GPs whose patients were least likely to get a flu vaccination, some saw less than 40% of their patients vaccinated, while for others in that group, the rate was over 70%.</p> <p>Among GPs with patients who face few barriers to vaccination, the share of their patients who were vaccinated also varied widely.</p> <p>Even within neighbourhoods, GP patient vaccination rates vary a lot. For example, in Bankstown in Sydney, there was a seven-fold difference in COVID vaccination rates and an 18-fold difference for pneumococcal vaccination.</p> <p>Not everything about clinics and patients can be measured in data, and there will be good reasons for some of these differences.</p> <p>But the results do suggest that some GPs are beating the odds to overcome patient barriers to getting vaccinated, while other GPs could be doing more. That should trigger focused efforts to raise vaccination rates where they are low.</p> <h2>So what should governments do?</h2> <p>A comprehensive national reform agenda is <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/A-fair-shot-How-to-close-the-vaccination-gap-Grattan-Institute-Report.pdf">needed to increase adult vaccination</a>. That includes clearer guidance, national advertising campaigns, SMS reminders, and tailored local programs that reach out to communities with very low levels of vaccination.</p> <p>But based on the big differences in GPs’ patient vaccination rates, Australia also needs a three-pronged plan to help GPs lift older Australians’ vaccination rates.</p> <p>First, the way general practice is funded needs to be overhauled, providing more money for the GPs whose patients face higher barriers to vaccination. Today, clinics with patients who are poorer, sicker and who struggle with English tend to get less funding. They should get more, so they can spend more time with patients to explain and promote vaccination.</p> <p>Second, GPs need to be given data, so that they can easily see how their vaccination rates compare to GPs with similar patients.</p> <p>And third, Primary Health Networks – which are responsible for improving primary care in their area – should give clinics with low vaccination rates the help they need. That might include running vaccination sessions, sharing information about best practices that work in similar clinics with higher vaccination rates, or offering translation support.</p> <p>And because pharmacies also play an important role in promoting and providing vaccines, governments should give them data too, showing how their rates compare to other pharmacies in their area, and support to boost vaccination uptake.</p> <p>These measures would go a long way to better protect some of the most vulnerable in our society. Governments have better data than ever before on who is missing out on vaccinations – and other types of health care.</p> <p>They shouldn’t miss the opportunity to target support so that no matter where you live, what your background is, or which GP or pharmacy you go to, you will have the best chance of being protected against disease.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234175/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peter-breadon-1348098"><em>Peter Breadon</em></a><em>, Program Director, Health and Aged Care, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anika-stobart-1014358">Anika Stobart</a>, Senior Associate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/grattan-institute-1168">Grattan Institute</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/are-you-up-to-date-with-your-covid-flu-and-other-shots-it-might-depend-on-who-your-gp-is-234175">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

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Sombre Aussie site tops global list of most unusual abandoned places

<p>Each year, thousands of people travel to famous abandoned buildings and hotspots to explore what were once important landmarks. </p> <p>Some deserted sites are more popular than others, as these ten sites received tens of thousands of visitors each year. </p> <p><strong>Buzludzha, Bulgaria</strong></p> <p>The Buzludzha Monument in central Bulgaria has been dubbed the tenth most famous abandoned place in the world, each year welcoming over 18,000 people. </p> <p>The site was constructed in 1981 and used by the Bulgarian communist government, and was in use until the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1989.</p> <p><strong>Ohio State Reformatory, USA</strong></p> <p>After first opening in 1898, the goal of the Ohio State Reformatory was to truly "reform" and rehabilitate its inmates.</p> <p>The facility was closed in 1990, and each year attracts more than 21,000 visitors.</p> <p><strong>Gereja Ayam, Indonesia</strong></p> <p>The uniquely shaped house of prayer in Central Java continues to be a popular tourist attraction in Indonesia, welcoming more than 50,000 travellers each year. </p> <p>Construction on the church was never completed after work was halted in 2000.</p> <p><strong>Lago di Resia Bell Tower, Italy</strong></p> <p>The 14-century sunken bell tower can be found near the border of Switzerland, emerging from the water from a sunken village where travellers claim they can hear bells tolling, even though there are no bells in the tower. </p> <p>The lonely (and probably haunted) tower receives more than 54,000 tourists each year. </p> <p><strong>Canfranc, Spain</strong></p> <p>The abandoned railway station is located in the Spanish municipality of Canfranc, close to the French border and once was a major hub for cross-border railway traffic.</p> <p>It first opened in 1928, but closed its doors by 1970 before it was reimagined as a hotel.  </p> <p><strong>Beelitz Military Hospital, Germany</strong></p> <p>The large hospital complex was first built in 1898 as a sanatorium, but was transformed into a hospital at the beginning of WWI and has been abandoned since 1990. </p> <p>It's understood Hitler was treated here after being wounded in the Battle of Somme, which could be the reason more than 64,000 travellers flock there each year. </p> <p><strong>Eastern State Penitentiary, USA</strong></p> <p>The prison in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is described as one of the country's most historic prisons and has housed some famous prisoners such as Al Capone.</p> <p>The prison was closed in 1971 and is tagged on social media by more than 79,000 every year. </p> <p><strong>Croix-Rouge, Paris</strong></p> <p>Also known as the Red Cross, this Paris train station has been abandoned since 1939 after France entered WWII.</p> <p>The station was only functional for 16 years, and welcomes more than 95,000 curious travellers each year. </p> <p><strong>Teufelsberg, Germany</strong></p> <p>Teufelsberg was one of the largest listening towers in the world during the Cold war.</p> <p>The site was closed in 1972, but still receives around 128,000 every year. </p> <p><strong>Port Arthur, Australia</strong></p> <p>More than a quarter of a million visitors travel to Port Arthur in Tasmania each year.</p> <p>The site itself was first opened as a timber station in 1830 and is known as a symbol of the country's convict past.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

International Travel

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Worried your address, birth date or health data is being sold? You should be – and the law isn’t protecting you

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/katharine-kemp-402096">Katharine Kemp</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a></em></p> <p>Australians don’t know and can’t control how data brokers are spreading their personal information. This is the core finding of a newly <a href="https://www.accc.gov.au/system/files/Digital-platform-services-inquiry-March-2024-interim-report.pdf">released report</a> from the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC).</p> <p>Consumers wanting to rent a property, get an insurance quote or shop online are not given real choices about whether their personal data is shared for other purposes. This exposes Australians to scams, fraud, manipulation and discrimination.</p> <p>In fact, <a href="https://www.accc.gov.au/media-release/consumers-lack-visibility-and-choice-over-data-collection-practices">many don’t even know</a> what kind of data has been collected about them and shared or sold by data firms and other third parties.</p> <p>Our privacy laws are due for reform. But Australia’s privacy commissioner <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4224653">should also enforce</a> an existing rule: with very limited exceptions, businesses must not collect information about you from third parties.</p> <h2>What are data brokers?</h2> <p><a href="https://cprc.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/CPRC-Singled-Out-Final-Feb-2024.pdf">Data brokers</a> generally make their profits by collecting information about individuals from various sources and sharing this personal data with their many business clients. This can include detailed profiles of a person’s family, health, finances and movements.</p> <p>Data brokers often have no connection with the individual – you may not even recognise the name of a firm that holds vast amounts of information on you. Some of these data brokers are large multinational companies with billions of dollars in revenue.</p> <p>Consumer and privacy advocates provided the ACCC with evidence of highly concerning data broker practices. <a href="https://www.accc.gov.au/system/files/Salinger%20Privacy.pdf">One woman</a> tried to find out how data brokers had got hold of her information after receiving targeted medical advertising.</p> <p>Although she never discovered how they obtained her data, she found out it included her name, date of birth and contact details. It also included inferences about her, such as her retiree status, having no children, not having “high affluence” and being likely to donate to a charity.</p> <p>ACCC found another data broker was reportedly creating lists of individuals who may be experiencing vulnerability. The categories included:</p> <ul> <li>children, teenage girls and teenage boys</li> <li>“financially unsavvy” people</li> <li>elderly people living alone</li> <li>new migrants</li> <li>religious minorities</li> <li>unemployed people</li> <li>people in financial distress</li> <li>new migrants</li> <li>people experiencing pain or who have visited certain medical facilities.</li> </ul> <p>These are all potential vulnerabilities that could be exploited, for example, by scammers or unscrupulous advertisers.</p> <h2>How do they get this information?</h2> <p>The ACCC notes <a href="https://cprc.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/CPRC-working-paper-Not-a-fair-trade-March-2025.pdf">74% of Australians are uncomfortable</a> with their personal information being shared or sold.</p> <p>Nonetheless, data brokers sell and share Australian consumers’ personal information every day. Businesses we deal with – for example, when we buy a car or search for natural remedies on an online marketplace – both buy data about us from data brokers and provide them with more.</p> <p>The ACCC acknowledges consumers haven’t been given a choice about this.</p> <p>Attempting to read every privacy term is near impossible. The ACCC referred to a recent study which found it would take consumers <a href="https://www.mi-3.com.au/06-11-2023/aussies-face-10-hour-privacy-policy-marathon-finds-study">over 46 hours a month</a> to read every privacy policy they encounter.</p> <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/595623/original/file-20240522-23-2zkuc.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=1000&amp;fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/595623/original/file-20240522-23-2zkuc.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/595623/original/file-20240522-23-2zkuc.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=131&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/595623/original/file-20240522-23-2zkuc.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=131&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/595623/original/file-20240522-23-2zkuc.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=131&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/595623/original/file-20240522-23-2zkuc.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=165&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/595623/original/file-20240522-23-2zkuc.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=165&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/595623/original/file-20240522-23-2zkuc.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=165&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="" /></a><figcaption><span class="caption">The approximate length and time it would take to read an average privacy policy in Australia per month.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.accc.gov.au/about-us/publications/serial-publications/digital-platform-services-inquiry-2020-25-reports/digital-platform-services-inquiry-interim-report-march-2024">ACCC Digital Platform Services Inquiry interim report</a></span></figcaption></figure> <p>Even if you could read every term, you still wouldn’t get a clear picture. Businesses use <a href="https://cprc.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/CPRC-Singled-Out-Final-Feb-2024.pdf">vague wording</a> and data descriptions which <a href="https://theconversation.com/70-of-australians-dont-feel-in-control-of-their-data-as-companies-hide-behind-meaningless-privacy-terms-224072">confuse consumers</a> and have no fixed meaning. These include “pseudonymised information”, “hashed email addresses”, “aggregated information” and “advertising ID”.</p> <p>Privacy terms are also presented on a “take it or leave it” basis, even for transactions like applying for a rental property or buying insurance.</p> <p>The ACCC pointed out 41% of Australians feel they have been <a href="https://www.choice.com.au/consumers-and-data/data-collection-and-use/how-your-data-is-used/articles/choice-renttech-report-release">pressured to use “rent tech” platforms</a>. These platforms collect an increasing range of information with questionable connection to renting.</p> <h2>A first for Australian consumers</h2> <p>This is the first time an Australian regulator has made an in-depth report on the consumer data practices of data brokers, which are generally hidden from consumers. It comes <a href="https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/documents/reports/data-brokers-call-transparency-accountability-report-federal-trade-commission-may-2014/140527databrokerreport.pdf">ten years after</a> the United States Federal Trade Commission (FTC) conducted a similar inquiry into data brokers in the US.</p> <p>The ACCC report examined the data practices of nine data brokers and other “data firms” operating in Australia. (It added the term “data firms” because some companies sharing data about people argue that they are not data brokers.)</p> <p>A big difference between the Australian and the US reports is that the FTC is both the consumer watchdog and the <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2312913">privacy regulator</a>. As our competition and consumer watchdog, the ACCC is meant to focus on competition and consumer issues.</p> <p>We also need our privacy regulator, the Office of the Australian Information Commissioner (OAIC), to pay attention to these findings.</p> <h2>There’s a law against that</h2> <p>The ACCC report shows many examples of businesses collecting personal information about us from third parties. For example, you may be a customer of a business that only has your name and email address. But that business can purchase “<a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=4224653">data enrichment</a>” services from a data broker to find out your age range, income range and family situation.</p> <p>The <a href="https://www.legislation.gov.au/C2004A03712/latest/text">current Privacy Act</a> includes <a href="https://www.oaic.gov.au/privacy/australian-privacy-principles/read-the-australian-privacy-principles">a principle</a> that organisations must collect personal information only from the individual (you) unless it is unreasonable or impracticable to do so. “Impracticable” means practically impossible. This is the direct collection rule.</p> <p>Yet there is no reported case of the privacy commissioner enforcing the direct collection rule against a data broker or its business customers. Nor has the OAIC issued any specific guidance in this respect. It should do both.</p> <h2>Time to update our privacy laws</h2> <p>Our privacy law was drafted in 1988, long before this complex web of digital data practices emerged. Privacy laws in places such as California and the European Union provide much stronger protections.</p> <p>The government has <a href="https://ministers.ag.gov.au/media-centre/speeches/privacy-design-awards-2024-02-05-2024">announced</a> it plans to introduce a privacy law reform bill this August.</p> <p>The ACCC report reinforces the need for vital amendments, including a direct right of action for individuals and a rule requiring dealings in personal information to be “fair and reasonable”.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/230540/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/katharine-kemp-402096">Katharine Kemp</a>, Associate Professor, Faculty of Law &amp; Justice, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/worried-your-address-birth-date-or-health-data-is-being-sold-you-should-be-and-the-law-isnt-protecting-you-230540">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Legal

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Vigil held as families visit site where Jesse Baird and Luke Davies' bodies found

<p>In the wake of the devastating loss of Jesse Baird and Luke Davies, allegedly murdered in a shocking incident that has reverberated more than 150km apart, communities are coming together to mourn, support and seek solace.</p> <p>The heart-wrenching discovery of the couple's bodies in the serene landscapes of the Southern Tablelands near Goulburn has sent shockwaves through both urban and rural areas. </p> <p>As news of the tragic discovery spread, family members embarked on a solemn journey south to the Bungonia property where <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/update-on-search-for-bodies-of-murdered-couple" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Baird and Davies were found</a>. Their pilgrimage was met with an outpouring of sympathy and solidarity from friends and community members alike. Meanwhile, in Sydney's Eastern Suburbs, a sombre vigil took place, with dozens gathering at the Bronte Surf Life Saving Club to honour the memories of the beloved couple.</p> <p>The scene at the vigil was poignant yet comforting, with friends embracing one another against the backdrop of crashing waves and flickering candlelight. A portrait of Davies served as a focal point, surrounded by tokens of affection and remembrance.</p> <p>Meanwhile, in the NSW countryside, law enforcement officials worked diligently to unravel the mysteries surrounding the tragic deaths. The sight of police tape being lowered to allow family members to pass through symbolised both closure and the beginning of a long journey toward healing.</p> <p>For the NSW Police Force, the case hit particularly close to home. Deputy Commissioner Michael Fitzgerald spoke candidly about the profound impact of the alleged crime, emphasising the shock and horror felt within the law enforcement community.</p> <p>"It has hurt us because it was one of our own," Assistant Commissioner Fitzgerald remarked. "It was an officer who used a police weapon. It's captured the world's attention, not just Australia's. It's horrendous and horrific."</p> <p>Indeed, the tragedy has sparked a broader conversation about the prevalence of violence and the need for greater support for victims and their families. As communities grapple with grief and loss, there is a renewed commitment to standing together in solidarity and offering support to those in need.</p> <p>While the discovery of Baird and Davies' bodies brings a heartbreaking confirmation of their deaths, it also serves as a catalyst for healing and closure. In the days and weeks ahead, friends, family and communities will continue to come together to honour their memories and seek justice for the lives lost too soon.</p> <p><em>Images: 9News</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Tourist arrested for disgusting act at sacred UNESCO World Heritage Site

<p>A tourist has been arrested after he committed this disgusting act on top of the Leshan Giant Buddha, a sacred UNESCO World Heritage Site in China. </p> <p>The man allegedly found a blind spot away from CCTV cameras, climbed over the security fence and on top of the statue. </p> <p>Once he reached the top of the monuments head, he proceeded to pull down his pants and urinate in front of horrified visitors who filmed the act. </p> <p>Security guards quickly removed the unidentified man and handed him over to police, after being informed of his actions. </p> <p>It is reported that the man was taken to a nearby hospital for psychiatric evaluation.</p> <p>The UNESCO World Heritage Site itself is a 71-metre-tall monument, which is considered to be the largest and tallest stone Buddha statue in the world. </p> <p>The Leshan Giant Buddha monument is located in the Sichuan Province of China, and was carved out of a cliff face between 713 and 803 AD. </p> <p>The statue and surrounding Mount Emei Scenic Area have been listed as a UNESCO World Heritage Site since 1996.</p> <p>This act is one of many incidences of tourists behaving badly across the world. </p> <p>In June 2023 a German tourist was detained after <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/travel/travel-trouble/tourist-accused-of-causing-over-8-000-in-damages-to-iconic-roman-statue" target="_blank" rel="noopener">climbing up</a> a 16th-century Fountain of Neptune, and was accused of causing over $8,000 in damages to the iconic statue. </p> <p>Prior to that, an Irish tourist landed himself into <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/tourist-busted-for-carving-name-into-world-s-most-famous-roman-relic" target="_blank" rel="noopener">trouble in Rome</a> after carving his and his girlfriend's name onto the walls of the Colosseum. </p> <p><em>Images: News.com.au</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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COVID is surging in Australia – and only 1 in 5 older adults are up to date with their boosters

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/adrian-esterman-1022994">Adrian Esterman</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-australia-1180">University of South Australia</a></em></p> <p>Do you have family members or friends sick with a respiratory infection? If so, there’s a good chance it’s COVID, caused by the JN.1 variant currently circulating in Australia.</p> <p>In particular, New South Wales is reportedly experiencing its <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-01-09/nsw-sydney-covid-variant-virus-pandemic-hospitalisations/103298610">highest levels</a> of COVID infections in a year, while Victoria is said to be facing a “<a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/victoria-in-midst-of-double-wave-of-covid19--as-jn1-triggers-infections-surge/4dada2cb-7d56-436a-9490-cad1d908a29a">double wave</a>” after a surge late last year.</p> <p>But nearly four years into the pandemic, data collection is less comprehensive than it was, and of course, fewer people are testing. So what do we know about the extent of this wave? And importantly, are we adequately protected?</p> <h2>Difficulties with data</h2> <p>Tracking COVID numbers was easier in the first half of last year, when each state and territory provided a weekly update, giving us data on case notifications, hospitalisations, ICU numbers and deaths.</p> <p>In the second half of the year some states and territories switched to less frequent reporting while others stopped their regular updates. As a result, different jurisdictions now report at different intervals and provide varying statistics.</p> <p>For example, <a href="https://www.health.vic.gov.au/infectious-diseases/victorian-covid-19-surveillance-report">Victoria</a> still provides weekly reports, while NSW publishes <a href="https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/Infectious/covid-19/Documents/respiratory-surveillance-20240106.pdf">fortnightly updates</a>.</p> <p>While each offer different metrics, we can gather – particularly from data on hospitalisations – that both states are experiencing a wave. We’re also seeing high levels of COVID <a href="https://www.health.vic.gov.au/infectious-diseases/victorian-covid-19-surveillance-report">in wastewater</a>.</p> <p>Meanwhile, <a href="https://health.nt.gov.au/covid-19/data">Northern Territory Health</a> simply tell you to go to the Australian government’s Department of Health website for COVID data. This houses the only national COVID <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/topics/covid-19/reporting?language=und">data collection</a>. Unfortunately, it’s not up to date, difficult to use, and, depending on the statistic, often provides no state and territory breakdowns.</p> <p>Actual case notifications are provided on a separate <a href="https://nindss.health.gov.au/pbi-dashboard/">website</a>, although given the lack of testing, these are likely to be highly inaccurate.</p> <p>The <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/topics/covid-19/reporting?language=und">Department of Health website</a> does provide some other data that gives us clues as to what’s happening. For example, as of one month ago, there were 317 active outbreaks of COVID in aged care homes. This figure has been generally rising since September.</p> <p>Monthly prescriptions for antivirals on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme were increasing rapidly in November, but we are not given more recent data on this.</p> <p>It’s also difficult to obtain information about currently circulating strains. Data expert Mike Honey provides a regularly updated <a href="https://github.com/Mike-Honey/covid-19-genomes?tab=readme-ov-file#readme">snapshot</a> for Australia based on data from GISAID (the Global Initiative on Sharing All Influenza Data) that shows JN.1 rising in prevalence and accounting for about 40% of samples two weeks ago. The proportion is presumably higher now.</p> <h2>What’s happening elsewhere?</h2> <p>Many other countries are currently going through a COVID wave, probably driven to a large extent by JN.1. These include <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/national/506301/covid-19-complacency-waning-immunity-contribute-to-fifth-wave-epidemiologist">New Zealand</a>, <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/facemasks-mandatory-spain-hospitals-b2475563.html">Spain, Greece</a> and the United States.</p> <p>According to cardiologist and scientist Eric Topol, the US is currently experiencing its <a href="https://www.latimes.com/opinion/story/2024-01-04/covid-2024-flu-virus-vaccine">second biggest wave</a> since the start of the pandemic, linked to JN.1.</p> <h2>Are vaccines still effective?</h2> <p>It’s expected the current COVID vaccines, which target the omicron variant XBB.1.5, are still <a href="https://www.gavi.org/vaccineswork/seven-things-you-need-know-about-jn1-covid-19-variant">effective</a> at reducing hospitalisations and deaths from JN.1 (also an omicron offshoot).</p> <p>The Australian Technical Advisory Group on Immunisation (ATAGI) updated their <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/news/atagi-update-on-the-covid-19-vaccination-program">advice</a> on booster shots in September last year. They recommended adults aged over 75 should receive an additional COVID vaccine dose in 2023 if six months had passed since their last dose.</p> <p>They also suggest all adults aged 65 to 74 (plus adults of any age who are severely immunocompromised) should consider getting an updated booster. They say younger people or older adults who are not severely immunocompromised and have already had a dose in 2023 don’t need further doses.</p> <p>This advice is very confusing. For example, although ATAGI does not recommend additional booster shots for younger age groups, does this mean they’re not allowed to have one?</p> <p>In any case, as of <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/resources/publications/covid-19-vaccine-rollout-update-8-december-2023?language=en">December 6</a>, only 19% of people aged 65 and over had received a booster shot in the last six months. For those aged 75 and over, this figure is 23%. Where is the messaging to these at-risk groups explaining why updating their boosters is so important?</p> <h2>Should we be concerned by this wave?</h2> <p>That depends on who we mean by “we”. For those who are vulnerable, absolutely. Mainly because so few have received an updated booster shot and very few people, including the elderly, are wearing masks.</p> <p>For the majority of people, a COVID infection is unlikely to be serious. The biggest concern for younger people is the risk of long COVID, which research suggests <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41591-022-02051-3">increases</a> with each reinfection.</p> <h2>What should we expect in 2024?</h2> <p>It’s highly likely we will see repeated waves of infections over the next 12 months and beyond, mainly caused by waning immunity from previous infection, vaccination or both, and new subvariants.</p> <p>Unless a new subvariant causes more severe disease (and at this stage, there’s no evidence JN.1 does), we should be able to manage quite well, without our hospitals becoming overwhelmed. However, we should be doing more to protect our vulnerable population. Having only one in five older people up to date with a booster and more than 300 outbreaks in aged care homes is not acceptable.</p> <p>For those who are vulnerable, the usual advice applies. Make sure you’re up to date with your booster shots, wear a P2/N95 mask when out and about, and if you do get infected, take antivirals as soon as possible.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/220839/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/adrian-esterman-1022994"><em>Adrian Esterman</em></a><em>, Professor of Biostatistics and Epidemiology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-australia-1180">University of South Australia</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/covid-is-surging-in-australia-and-only-1-in-5-older-adults-are-up-to-date-with-their-boosters-220839">original article</a>.</em></p>

Body

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"I just don't like old skin": Jane Fonda's bizarre confession

<p>Jane Fonda has made an unusual confession about her dating life, explaining why she would only date people of a certain age. </p> <p>The Hollywood legend, 85, has been married three times throughout her life: first to director Roger Vadim from 1965 to 1973, then to activist Tom Hayden from 1973 to 1990, and finally to CNN founder Ted Turner from 1991 to 2001.</p> <p>Fonda is currently single, but doesn't plan on staying that way. </p> <p>Despite being open to finding love, the actress has a very specific criteria for potential suitors to meet before agreeing to a date. </p> <p>On the <em>Absolutely Not</em> podcast, the Oscar winner initially suggested she was done with men for good, saying, “I’m done, I’m over, I’m [almost] 86 years old, even in the dark I wouldn’t want to be naked in front of anybody.” </p> <p>But she then went on to confess that there’s still a chance she could fall for a man, but they would just have to be substantially younger. </p> <p>“And here’s another thing, I’m ashamed to say this, if I were to take a lover, he’d have to be 20. Because I don’t like old skin,” said Fonda.</p> <p>She continued, “And consequently, I don’t want to foist that on anybody else. I assume other people are like me, I just don’t like old skin.”</p> <p>“I disapprove of 86-year-old men with 20-year-old women, so I’m not going to repeat it. I can ogle them, and I can’t pretend that I don’t get turned on if I see a certain kind of a person, but no, no, no, I don’t want to force that on anybody.”</p> <p>Her confession has been criticised on social media, with some suggesting the star would be “cancelled” if it was a man that had said the same about young women. </p> <p>“This is seriously weird,” tweeted one fan, while another said: “But an 85 year old man wanting to date a 20 year old woman is disgusting? Am I right?”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Relationships

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"Creepy" reaction to Robert Irwin debuting his girlfriend on social media

<p>Robert Irwin finally made his relationship with Rorie Buckey Instagram official with a cute selfie shared to his four million followers. </p> <p>While many were supportive of the couple's budding romance, a few others couldn't hide their disappointment as their dreams of having their own fairytale romance with the conservationist were crushed. </p> <p>“You just broke the hearts of tens of thousands of young girls across the world. Congrats tho,”  commented one person. </p> <p>“Siri play that should be me by Justin Bieber,” commented another. </p> <p>"So this is what heartbreak and betrayal feels like," commented a third. </p> <p>"I don’t think I can ever recover from this," wrote fourth. </p> <p>"What if this was my last straw robert," wrote another. </p> <p>One fan even asked him: "HOW COULD U CHEAT ON ME !?😭"</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CwUpgBprVDf/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CwUpgBprVDf/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Robert Irwin (@robertirwinphotography)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The post itself gained almost 400,000 likes in the first eight hours after it went live, and a few comments have called out the fans who were disappointed in the star. </p> <p>“Some of these comments are creepy as,” wrote one.</p> <p>“This comment section is disappointing remove yourself from whatever parasocial relationship you’ve constructed and treat people with kindness,” commented another. </p> <p>“As much as I do have a celebrity crush on Robert, I think everybody should be happy for him. His life,” wrote a third. </p> <p>"Why are these comments so creepy? If you cant be kind, just stop. They look happy, leave them be," added another. </p> <p>The couple were first spotted cuddling at a Queensland beach late last year, and made their first <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/beauty-style/robert-irwin-makes-red-carpet-debut-with-girlfriend" target="_blank" rel="noopener">red carpet debut </a>at Sydney's International Convention Centre last month. </p> <p>Buckley, who is late star Heath Ledger's niece, is currently living in Perth, so the young couple are currently making their relationship work long-distance. </p> <p><em>Image: Instagram</em></p>

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Thief asks woman out on date after robbing her at gunpoint

<p>A US woman has gone through the harrowing experience of being robbed at gunpoint, but it was what happened after the fact that was almost as eerie.</p> <p>Amber Beraun was checking the mail one night at her Indianapolis home in May when she was approached by a man with a gun.</p> <p>The gunman was later identified as Damien Boyce.</p> <p>Speaking to WRTV, Beraun said she was confronted by Boyce, who attempted to enter her home. She refused and gave him all the cash she had handy, which came to $100.</p> <p>Before he made his escape, Boyce asked Beraun a very unexpected, and quite frankly bizarre question - to add him on Facebook.</p> <p>The thief also noted he was planning to pay her back.</p> <p>Beraun responded, telling him she “believed” him and that “times just get rough”.</p> <p>Boyce proceeded to ask the woman to “come chill”.</p> <p>He was later arrested by the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department and charged over a separate armed robbery on June 12, where two people got shot and one was hit in the head with a brick.</p> <p>He was also charged with his robbery of Beraun.</p> <p>Beraun said her local neighbourhood has been affected by the terrifying incident.</p> <p>"It makes me a little on edge knowing that people walk up and down the street, looking for places to commit crimes," she said.</p> <p>"It makes it a little different when you hear noises at night."</p> <p>Beraun insisted she "never" thought something like this would happen to her.</p> <p>"He took away my sense of safety from my home."</p> <p><em>Image credit: ABC America</em></p>

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Long-married couples said not to know each other as well as newlyweds

<p>You would think decades of marriage together would give older couples plenty of time to get to know each other but an interesting new study suggests otherwise, finding that couples who have been together for decades are worse at predicting what their partner likes than newlyweds.</p> <p>The study, published in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, tested young couples, aged from 19 to 32, who had been together for an average of two years and older couples, aged from 62 to 78, who had been together for at least 40 years. Each of the 116 participants was presented with a series of descriptions (of foods, movies, house designs and so on) and asked to rate his or her preference and predict how their partner would rate the item. They were also asked to estimate how many of their predictions were correct.</p> <p>And well, overall, we’re not great at knowing what our significant other likes, even though we think we are. Young couples got 42 per cent of their predictions right and older couples only predicted 36 per cent of their partners’ preferences, when both couple groups overconfidently estimated they would get 62 per cent of answers right.</p> <p>“This is surprising because, compared to younger couples, older couples had much more time and opportunities to learn about each other's preferences over the course of their relationship,” the team of psychologist wrote.</p> <p>They suggested that younger couples may be more motivated to understand their partners during the early stages of a relationship.</p> <p>“Another reason could be that older couples pay less attention to each other, because they view their relationship as already firmly committed or because they think they already know their partner well,” said one of the researchers, Dr Benjamin Scheibehenne of the University of Basel.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

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Divorce led me to my true love

<p><em><strong>Over60 community member, Mary Green, 63, shares her story about how when her marriage suddenly ended after 44 years she found that it was a blessing in disguise.</strong></em></p> <p>"On the Easter weekend of 2012 I was dumped by my husband of 44 years! After a small disagreement I had gone to our holiday flat on a remote golf course outside Melbourne to work on a book fast approaching its publishing deadline. When I messaged that I would be back on Tuesday, he replied by SMS that he had changed the locks.</p> <p>I was incredulous. Marriage is often not easy, but I was about to find out just how tough I was. For the next two months I travelled gypsy style between the golf flat and the tiny new South Yarra studio my second of three sons had just moved into. I have not been inside our family home since.</p> <p>This was the situation I was in when I decided to date. At 63 I just started again. I joined three online dating sites and did not waste time. I booked to meet seven men in the next seven days, apparently breaking all the rules of being cautious and discreet. All seven men were polite and interesting. We had a coffee or met in a wine bar and I had fun, but there was no chemistry. I was just happy being free from my husband.</p> <p>During this time my husband sent my belonging to me on a truck (which I paid for) and when I was sorting through the boxes of files, a page caught my eye. It was the minutes of the golf estate owner’s corporation, and out jumped the name of a man that I had been at school with. Our sisters were best friends in those days. I checked Facebook, and there he was, with three children, seven grandchildren – but I couldn’t see a wife. A bit of messaging banter later, I asked him to ring me.</p> <p>We met up for a drink that turned into dinner and a hug that I will never forget. In my eyes he was still the handsome sporting hero that I had beaten in the high school mixed doubles tennis finals. He was not looking to date. I hoped he would just give me some lessons in online dating. He had been divorced for about 15 years and had two very long relationships with women that he had met on dating sites. He told me that my booking of seven men in seven days was breaking the rules, but also admitted that he had stacked his dates, just hours apart, in order to meet them all. By Christmas 2012 we were a couple in love.</p> <p>It’s been nearly two years since that first date and I am grateful for the internet and the coincidence that we both owned property on the same golfing estate. He plays A Grade, and I try. We are similar in so many other ways that it’s quite spooky sometimes. Our families have embraced each other and the joy of just knowing he is there helps me immensely through what has been a difficult time.</p> <p>Having worked as a support in my ex-husband’s career, and suddenly having to pay bills without a job of my own, led me to Centrelink. They said that I was too old to retrain at no cost, unless I wanted to study Aged Care – something rather peculiar in that thinking, a subsidised course in bookwork software would be more useful and help me save on accountant’s fees. In the meantime I’m setting up my own Facebook blog, called Healthy Ageing. If I can find a good man on the internet, I am optimistic about building a good lifestyle on it too."</p> <p><em>*Names have been changed</em></p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

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Rolf Harris' cause – and date – of death confirmed

<p>Rolf Harris’ cause of death has been revealed following the announcement of his passing after a battle with neck cancer.</p> <p>While the information was made public on May 23, his death certificate states he died several weeks ago.</p> <p>On May 11, it was speculated that Harris was gravely ill after an ambulance was spotted outside his UK home.</p> <p>However, it wasn’t until May 23 that his death was confirmed.</p> <p>The date of his death on the certificate was listed as May 10, one day before the ambulance was seen.</p> <p>The cause of death was listed as squamous cell carcinoma of neck – neck cancer – and “fragility of old age”.</p> <p>It was first revealed in late 2022 that Harris had been severely ill and struggled to communicate with people.</p> <p>The gap between the date of his passing and his death certificate allowed the family to hold a funeral for Harris and cremate him away from the public eye.</p> <p>In a short statement released by his family, they said Harris “died peacefully surrounded by family and friends and has now been laid to rest”.</p> <p>Harris lived with his wife of 65 years, Alwen Hughes, 91, who has Alzheimer’s disease. Both needed round the clock care.</p> <p>Private investigator and author William Merrit told the <em>Daily Mail</em> Harris was gravely ill when he saw him in 2022.</p> <p>“Rolf has been very sick. When I saw him he was able to speak to me. He was with it, but he was obviously unwell,” he said.</p> <p>A neighbour also shared Harris’ health had declined after the death of his poodle, Bumble in 2022.</p> <p>“Only carers and nurses, who care for him 24 hours, come and go. I’m told he can’t eat anymore,” they said.</p> <p>Harris was born in 1930 in Bassendean, in Perth’s north east.</p> <p>He was a champion swimmer in his youth before moving to London in the early 50s’, where he studied art.</p> <p>After getting early gigs working as a performer and illustrator for the BBC and ITV, he rose to fame for his art and music.</p> <p>In 2005, Queen Elizabeth sat for a portrait with him.</p> <p>Harris received several awards and honours, most of which were taken away. He had been appointed a Member of the Order of the British Empire in 1968 and was appointed to the Order of Australia (AM), where he later advanced to Officer (AO) in 2012.</p> <p>He was thrust into the spotlight in 2013 after being arrested as part of a UK police investigation into a string of sexual offences. He was also accused of taking indecent images of children.</p> <p>He stood trial in June 2014 and was convicted of 12 counts of indecent assault against four teenage girls between 1968 and 1986, one of which was later appealed. He was sentenced to jail for five years and nine months.</p> <p>Harris was released from Stafford Prison in England’s midlands in mid-2017 after three years behind bars and was rarely spotted in public afterwards.</p> <p>He stood trial again in mid-2017 for separate cases of sexual assault, involving seven complainants aged between 12 and 27 at the time of the alleged incidents. He was found not guilty on three counts and was cleared after the jury failed to reach a verdict on four other counts.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Getty</em></p>

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3 things all couples fight about (and what to do about them)

<p>All couples argue from time to time, and it seems that we’re all fighting about the same things. These three issues crop up time and time again, mainly because there’s a deeper meaning than whose turn is it really to vacuum the house. Here are a few reasons why conflicts about money, sex and chores often escalate and how to cool down things down.</p> <p><strong>Money</strong></p> <p>Fights about money are rarely about money. Money is fraught with layers of meaning and often how we see it (and how we handle it) is a reflection of our personal values around freedom, security and generosity. Fights about spending can often be traced back to fears about not having influence in important matters in your life, worries about future security or concerns that your partner does not respect you or your money values. If you find yourself continually arguing about money, rather than focusing on the dollar value of items or pinning blame on who spent what when, talk generally about what role you think money should play in your life.</p> <p><strong>Sex</strong></p> <p>The intimate act of sex can both be a wonderful cementer of relationships or it can be terrible wedge that causes untold relationship tension. Arguing about how often to have sex is often not about the act itself but about our feelings of connection, affection and love. It’s important to remember that just like people change over the years so do desires and intimacy needs. Fluctuating libidos is a factor of life and the way to ensure you’re on the same page as your partner is to communicate. Don’t just expect your partner to instinctively know what you need.</p> <p><strong>Housework</strong></p> <p>It may sound like the most trivial of fights but disputes over domestic chores are less about the tasks and more about the underlying meanings of respect, fairness and worth. When one person feels like the household tasks are not shared or equal, it can unearth negative feelings that the other person does not appreciate them or does not respect them enough to help out. Have an agreement about housework tasks and talk about whether it may have a deeper meaning.</p> <p><a href="../lifestyle/dating/2015/01/romance-movies-help-relationships/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Did you know that romance movies have been shown to be a key factor in long-lasting relationships?</strong></span></a></p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

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