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"Happy wives, happy social lives?" Men are more emotionally disconnected than women – what can be done about it?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/roger-patulny-94836">Roger Patulny</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/hong-kong-baptist-university-2801">Hong Kong Baptist University</a></em></p> <p>Many of us are worried about loneliness and isolation, and both <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-be-fooled-loneliness-affects-men-too-15545">decade-old</a> and <a href="https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/how-many-australians-are-lonely/">recent data</a> suggest they impact men more than women.</p> <p>Loneliness predicts health outcomes including <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1745691614568352">early mortality</a>, greater <a href="https://hqlo.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12955-022-01946-6">psychological distress</a>, and more <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41572-022-00355-9">cardiovascular, metabolic and neurological problems</a>.</p> <p>New research also links loneliness to <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-024-18770-w">more intolerant attitudes towards women</a>.</p> <p>These findings raise concerns over the causes and impacts of men’s loneliness and isolation.</p> <h2>A deep dive into loneliness</h2> <p>I recently analysed more than 50 indicators from a decade of data collected by the <a href="https://www.acspri.org.au/aussa">Australian Social Attitudes Survey</a>, from 2011–12, 2015–16, 2017–18, and 2022–23.</p> <p>My statistical models produced results for (self-identified) men and women, after controlling for the impacts of age, employment and partner status.</p> <p>I confirmed that Australian men are more likely to be socially and emotionally disconnected than women. I also found some reasons why this might be the case.</p> <p>I found men appear to focus their emotional energies primarily on their nuclear families and partners. Consequently, they over-rely on their female partners for intimate support and develop more distant, limited and transactional relationships with other people – and other men.</p> <h2>Men are more emotionally disconnected</h2> <p>The data show men continue to lack emotional support on a range of indicators. This puts them at greater risk of health impacts and potentially encourages more toxic attitudes towards women.</p> <p>A significantly greater proportion of men than women reported:</p> <ul> <li>receiving no support from their closest friend</li> <li>receiving fun/practical advice over emotional support from close friends</li> <li>having less contact with a close friend</li> <li>not having anyone for emotional support</li> <li>not feeling “very close” to their closest friend</li> <li>not feeling “love” as their most commonly experienced emotion in the last week.</li> </ul> <h2>Men have more distant, transactional relationships</h2> <p>Why are men in this situation?</p> <p>Masculinity roles are clearly influential.</p> <p>Traditional masculinity encourages men to appear capable, controlled and independent, avoid displays of “vulnerable” emotions or male-to-male affection (like hugging, touch or crying), and embrace the hetero-normative ideal of male provision and leadership.</p> <p>Such norms have been found to constrain male intimacy <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37531906/">by disallowing vulnerability</a>.</p> <p>My data show men tend to develop looser, transactional ties with more distant people. This may reduce the quality of the connection and its potential to reduce loneliness.</p> <p>I have found men are more likely than women to:</p> <ul> <li>think it is OK to befriend someone just because they’ll make a “useful” contact</li> <li>feel obligated to repay favours immediately (foregoing longer-term connections)</li> <li>be kind to others because they “value doing the right thing”, rather than because they empathically connect with or care about the person</li> <li>give and receive kindness from strangers (rather than more familiar people)</li> <li>seek help with household jobs from more distant family or friends</li> <li>seek practical support (money, advice) from private and commercial sources (rather than friends or family)</li> <li>not seek help from family or friends for emotional, sickness or care issues.</li> </ul> <p>This means many men retain an individualist masculine desire to remain emotionally aloof.</p> <hr /> <p><iframe id="TBJfz" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: 0;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/TBJfz/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></p> <hr /> <h2>Appearing in control but becoming dependent?</h2> <p>So where <em>do</em> men turn for intimate, emotional connection?</p> <p>Most often, their families.</p> <p>Prior studies show partnered men are <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-024-18770-w">less lonely than single men</a>. My data show men revere the nuclear family institution and the core supportive role of women and female partners.</p> <p>Men are more likely than women to:</p> <ul> <li>believe having children increases their social standing</li> <li>believe family is more important than friends</li> <li>rely on family over friends for support</li> <li>have mixed-gender friendships (in contrast to womens’ predominately female friendships)</li> <li>see their (predominantly female) partner as their closest friend</li> <li>emotionally support their (predominantly female) partner ahead of supporting others.</li> </ul> <p>However, the masculine desire to be a “good nuclear family man” <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37531906/">can both support and impede</a> men’s social connection.</p> <p>Partnered men might feel less lonely but that doesn’t mean they give or gain sufficient emotional support from their nuclear families.</p> <p>My data show men are less likely than women to:</p> <ul> <li>plan or organise social and family activities</li> <li>have at least weekly contact with non-nuclear family or friends</li> <li>emotionally support their friends, family or children ahead of their partners</li> <li>have their partner support them ahead of others (women were more likely to support their children first).</li> </ul> <p>This raises several issues.</p> <p>If men cling to the notion that their primary role is to provide for and support their (female) partner – while she in turn emotionally supports everyone else – they risk becoming personally isolated through diminished networks and outmoded expectations.</p> <p>In this context, men who believe they should earn more than their partners <a href="https://theconversation.com/loneliness-in-the-workplace-is-greatest-among-men-with-traditional-views-about-being-the-breadwinner-230535">are lonelier</a> than other men.</p> <p>It also risks pushing the burden of maintaining social and emotional connections onto <a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/">women and partners</a>, and men becoming socially and emotionally dependent on them.</p> <p>And it can “bake in” hetero-normative family-to-family interactions (organised by female partners) as the most “legitimate” form of socialising for men.</p> <p>This can be highly exclusionary for LGBTQIA+ people, along with single men and single fathers, who register among <a href="https://www.relationships.org.au/relationship-indicators/">the highest rates of loneliness in Australia</a>.</p> <hr /> <p><iframe id="qCmHw" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: 0;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/qCmHw/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe></p> <hr /> <h2>How can men become more emotionally connected?</h2> <p>Feelings shouldn’t be seen as just a <a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/">“female thing”</a>.</p> <p>Younger men’s more inclusive masculine attitudes can allow them to <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">subvert the “rules” of masculinity</a>, express emotion and embrace <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">“bromances”</a>.</p> <p>Men can also connect emotionally with other men through <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">jokes and humour</a> and participating in shared activities <a href="https://theconversation.com/lost-touch-with-friends-during-lockdown-heres-how-to-reconnect-and-let-go-of-toxic-ones-172853">that allow incidental communication</a>, like Men’s Sheds.</p> <p>The following initiatives may well help men broaden their intimate networks beyond the nuclear family. We could:<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <ul> <li>help men into caring roles through more <a href="https://theconversation.com/loneliness-in-the-workplace-is-greatest-among-men-with-traditional-views-about-being-the-breadwinner-230535">family friendly employment and care-leave policies</a></li> <li>support initiatives such as <a href="https://meninmind.movember.com/">Movember Men in Mind</a> that encourage men to seek help, and improve their emotional expression and support skills</li> <li>encourage partnered, heterosexual men to broaden and diversify their intimate networks beyond the nuclear family bubble, and be more inclusive of single men, single fathers, and LGBTQIA+ people. <a href="https://thephn.com.au/news/the-mens-table-successful-mental-health-initiative-expanding-across-seven-new-regions">Men’s Table initiatives</a> could be of great value here</li> <li>encourage the development of more online <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">safe spaces</a> to form intimate bonds while avoiding toxic online masculine spaces.</li> </ul> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/roger-patulny-94836">Roger Patulny</a>, Professor, Academy of Geography, Sociology and International Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/hong-kong-baptist-university-2801">Hong Kong Baptist University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/happy-wives-happy-social-lives-men-are-more-emotionally-disconnected-than-women-what-can-be-done-about-it-239194">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Mind

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"Police have done nothing": William Tyrrell's foster mother speaks out

<p>William Tyrrell's foster mother has issued a rare statement, slamming the police investigation into the disappearance of the toddler. </p> <p>In her first public comments in two years, the woman - who cannot be identified - has been insistent on denying any involvement in William's disappearance despite being at the centre of a dedicated Strike Force team.</p> <p>She claimed police had “gone to great lengths to blacken my character in the media” as they built a case against her, since she was publicly outed as the current person of interest for Strike Force Rosann detectives in 2021.</p> <p>As <a href="https://www.news.com.au/national/crime/done-nothing-william-tyrrells-foster-mother-issues-statement/news-story/0503f8940a3bad2bb2648c38bc44e288" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>news.com.au</em></a> continue their investigative podcast into William's disappearance and the subsequent investigation, the foster mother has slammed the authorities for the way they have handled the high-profile case. </p> <p>She said, “I believe that if the police had properly investigated this case, instead of persecuting me, they may well have found the person responsible for William’s disappearance.”</p> <p>She went on to reiterate she believes the three-year-old was taken from her mother’s yard in Kendall in September of 2014 and that she has “no idea who took William, or what happened to him”.</p> <p>“For the past five years, the police have done nothing to try to discover who took William, and what has happened to him," she said.</p> <p>“Instead, they have concentrated all their efforts on trying to build a case that I was in some way to blame for his death, and the disposal of his precious little body."</p> <p>“They have gone to great lengths to blacken my character in the media.”</p> <p>She went on to say she loved William “as much as any mother could love her child … if not more”.</p> <p>She said, “It did not matter one bit that he was not connected to us biologically. William made my life complete; I loved him fiercely. I just loved being his ‘mummy’.”</p> <p>“Never ever for a moment did I regret becoming a foster mother”, she said, adding the family was “and still are … connected as one”.</p> <p>“It’s challenging to have hope and build plans for the future when our hearts remain shattered and in pieces,” she said. “All I can hope for is that some person who knows something comes forward.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: NSW Police</em></p>

Legal

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“A lot has to be done”: Kyle Sandilands recalls personal domestic violence ordeal

<p><em><strong>Warning: This article contains details of domestic violence that some readers may find distressing.</strong></em></p> <p>Kyle Sandilands has opened up about his traumatic childhood and his first-hand experience with domestic violence, just days after pleading with the Prime Minister to make huge changes for victims. </p> <p>The KIISFM spoke candidly about experiencing violence at the hands of his father, as the conversation of domestic abuse in Australia has escalated given a recent spate of deadly violence. </p> <p>Sandilands recalled his childhood to co-host Jackie O, saying, “You’ve got to remember that I was a young child living in a domestic violence situation with my little brother and my mother.”</p> <p>“My father would kick off,” he said. “It was horrific. And I would remember I was only really little. And my brother, we’d go into my room and I’d create a land of fantasy in my room with the matchbox cars, and they’d be screaming and things would be smashed. And I would spend all of my time [there].”</p> <p>He went on to say he would do everything to comfort his brother, who is four years younger, during times of increased violence in his house, adding, “And I was little, I didn’t even know what was going on.”</p> <p>The radio host revealed that while he and his father mended their fractured relationship just before his death in 2016, the psychological effects of his difficult childhood remain. </p> <p>“And I don’t like to bring this up because my father is dead now. And we fixed any problems we had and he apologised, but still we had to live with it,” he shared. </p> <p>“He grabbed my mother by the back of her hair with one hand. And ripped her out of the bath backwards and dragged her kicking and screaming down the hallway in front of two little kids. And I can still see that as if it just happened half an hour ago. These things, they don’t leave little minds. They are in your head forever.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6aq3qQPBNw/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6aq3qQPBNw/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Kyle and Jackie O (@kyleandjackieo)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Sandilands then went on to discuss the Albanese government's new plan to give those trying to flee domestic violence situations $5,000 as part of the <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/anthony-albanese-s-new-925-million-pledge" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Leaving Violence Program</a>.</p> <p>"That’s all good and well, but sometimes the women don’t have access to a bank account."</p> <p>“You don’t want to put the $5000 into a joint bank account that the bloke has access to,” he said. “A lot has to be done.”</p> <p>“I know a lot of people are on the side of the victims here, but governments can sometimes try and do the right thing. But at the end of the day, the money must get to the victim. Not stuck in some bank account somewhere.”</p> <p>On Monday's radio show, Sandilands said that it would be more important to set up safe houses for those fleeing violent situations, rather than giving them funds.</p> <p>“I think the first thing we need to do is make the safe haven a place where a mum can get her kids at three in the morning, ring someone, get picked up and taken away and be safe,” he said on the show. </p> <p>“I think that’s where it should start because that’s something we can do immediately.”</p> <p><em><strong>If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual abuse or family violence contact the National Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence Counselling Service 24-hour helpline <a href="https://www.1800respect.org.au/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAt_PuBRDcARIsAMNlBdoOykv3RTO6q7pBf-PwIhINGV5jyQMqIFIdcYqX3Y52-h7w3-PI4BEaArwXEALw_wcB" target="_blank" rel="noopener">1800 RESPECT</a> on 1800 737 732.</strong></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: KIISFM</em></p>

Caring

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"You've done bugger all": Ray Hadley unleashes over death of childcare worker

<p>Ray Hadley has erupted over the alleged murder of a childcare worker, calling on the government to have tougher laws in place for those out on bail. </p> <p>Molly Ticehurst, a 28-year-old from the NSW Central West town of Forbes, was found dead in her home during a welfare check in the early hours of Monday morning. </p> <p>Her ex-boyfriend, Daniel Billings, has since been charged with murder (domestic violence) and contravening a apprehended violence order.</p> <p>At the time of Ms Ticehurst’s alleged murder, Mr Billings was on bail after being charged with raping the mother-of-one three times, stalking her, causing damage to her property and abusing a 12-week-old puppy.</p> <p>While discussing NSW Premier Chris Minns' pledge to review why Billings was out on bail, 2GB radio host Ray Hadley unleashed on the government for doing "nothing". </p> <p>"It just keeps happening, and happening, and happening," he began. </p> <p>"I know you're probably sick of me saying it, and I'm probably sick of saying it myself, but in the 34 years I've been doing this type of morning program, absolutely nothing has changed."</p> <p>"Until there's a societal change in the way judicial officers and others deal with men who are violent towards women, we'll have what we're dealing with again this week."</p> <p>He slammed politicians for what he described as "a lack of action" on keeping alleged offenders facing serious charges out of the community.</p> <p>"What have you done about it? You've done bugger all about it," he said.</p> <p>"And as a result, another young woman is dead because you've done nothing about it. You sit there and wax lyrical and w*** on about what you're going to do."</p> <p>Hadley said Minns should instead directly work to change the bail laws with the cooperation of NSW opposition leader Mark Speakman.</p> <p>"Woman after woman after woman is murdered because the government is too gutless to either offer a mandatory minimum to these people, or do something about the bail laws," he said.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Nine / 2GB</em></p>

Legal

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"I think I'm done": The question that made Woolies CEO leave interview

<p>Woolworths CEO Brad Banducci has cracked under the pressure during a tense interview with ABC's <em>Four Corners</em>. </p> <p>The supermarket boss sat down with reporter Angus Grigg as part of a deep dive into the supermarket industry in Australia amid the ACCC's investigation into allegations of unfair price gouging.</p> <p>The program questioned how supermarkets have been profiting from rising prices amidst the cost of living crisis and spoke with a number of key players, including Banducci and Coles boss Leah Weckert. </p> <p>The supermarkets have long denied the allegations have since become the focus of investigations by both the Senate and the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC).</p> <p>“Rod Sims, the former head of the ACCC, says that we have one of the most concentrated supermarket [sectors] in the world, is he lying?” Griggs asked Banducci.</p> <p>“It’s not true. [He’s] retired, by the way,” Banducci said.</p> <p>The comment caught Griggs off guard, to which he responded, “I don’t think you would impugn his integrity and his understanding of competition law. He retired 18 months ago.”</p> <p>Banducci then began to appear agitated and asked if his comments could be removed.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">This is what happened when Four Corners asked Woolworths CEO Brad Banducci about the lack of competition in the Australian grocery market. </p> <p>Watch the <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/4Corners?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#4Corners</a> documentary tonight: <a href="https://t.co/dDRYGLaw2i">https://t.co/dDRYGLaw2i</a> <a href="https://t.co/bsrJD9IETB">pic.twitter.com/bsrJD9IETB</a></p> <p>— ABC News (@abcnews) <a href="https://twitter.com/abcnews/status/1759391473567490367?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 19, 2024</a></p></blockquote> <p>“Can we take that out? Is that ok? Angus, are we going to leave it in?” he said.</p> <p>“I shouldn’t have said that about Rod, about him being retired. I mean, he is retired, but I shouldn’t have said that. Are we going to leave that in there?”</p> <p>Upon being told that his comments were “on the record” and would not be taken out, Banducci said, “I think I’m done guys.”</p> <p>“I do this with good intent, and I don’t do this with bad intent,” he said as he walked away.</p> <p>“Really, you’re walking out?” Grigg asked.</p> <p>Banducci then disappeared from view, reportedly to talk with his PR team, before returning a few moments later to complete the interview.</p> <p>Speaking to <em>ABC’s News Breakfast </em>on Monday after the episode aired, Griggs called the move “pretty startling”.</p> <p>“I think it shows you that, there you have the boss of the largest supermarket chain in the country really unwilling to face too many questions,” he said. </p> <p>“It shows how little scrutiny they’ve had over the years and I think that’s a really big problem.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: ABC</em></p>

Money & Banking

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‘Self-love’ might seem selfish. But done right, it’s the opposite of narcissism

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a></em></p> <p>“To love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing red-hot iron” <a href="https://archive.org/details/jungsseminaronni0000jung">said psychonalyst Carl Jung</a>.</p> <p>Some may argue this social media generation does not seem to struggle with loving themselves. But is the look-at-me-ism so easily found on TikTok and Instagram the kind of self-love we need in order to flourish?</p> <p>The language of <a href="https://theconversation.com/teaching-positive-psychology-skills-at-school-may-be-one-way-to-help-student-mental-health-and-happiness-217173">positive psychology</a> can be – and often is – appropriated for all kinds of self-importance, as well as cynical marketing strategies.</p> <p>Loving yourself, though, psychological experts stress, is not the same as behaving selfishly. There’s a firm line between healthy and appropriate forms of loving yourself, and malignant or <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-types-of-narcissist-are-there-a-psychology-expert-sets-the-record-straight-207610">narcissistic</a> forms. But how do we distinguish between them?</p> <p>In 2023, researchers Eva Henschke and Peter Sedlmeier conducted <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/355152846_What_is_self-love_Redefinition_of_a_controversial_construct">a series of interviews</a> with psychotherapists and other experts on what self-love is. They’ve concluded it has three main features: self-care, self-acceptance and self-contact (devoting attention to yourself).</p> <p>But as an increasingly individualistic society, are we already devoting too much attention to ourselves?</p> <h2>Philosophy and self-love</h2> <p>Philosophers and psychology experts alike have considered the ethics of self-love.</p> <p>Psychology researcher Li Ming Xue and her colleagues, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.585719/full">exploring the notion of self-love in Chinese culture</a>, claim “Western philosophers believe that self-love is a virtue”. But this is a very broad generalisation.</p> <p>In the Christian tradition and in much European philosophy, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10848770.2020.1839209">says philosopher Razvan Ioan</a>, self-love is condemned as a profoundly damaging trait.</p> <p>On the other hand, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2107991">many of the great Christian philosophers</a>, attempting to make sense of the instruction to love one’s neighbour as oneself, admitted certain forms of self-love were virtuous. In order to love your neighbour as yourself, you must, it would seem, love yourself.</p> <p>In the Western philosophical context, claim Xue and her colleagues, self-love is concerned with individual rights – “society as a whole only serves to promote an individual’s happiness”.</p> <p>This individualistic, self-concerned notion of self-love, they suggest, might come from the Ancient Greek philosophers. In particular, Aristotle. But <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/philosophy-stirred-not-shaken/201502/love-yourself-love-your-character">Aristotle thought only the most virtuous</a>, who benefited the society around them, should love themselves. By making this connection, he avoided equating self-love with self-centredness.</p> <p>We should love ourselves not out of vanity, he argued, but in virtue of our capacity for good. Does Aristotle, then, provide principled grounds for distinguishing between proper and improper forms of self-love?</p> <h2>Bar too high?</h2> <p>Aristotle might set the bar too high. If only the most virtuous should try to love themselves, this collides head-on with the idea loving yourself can help us improve and become more virtuous – as <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1057/9781137383310_6">philosophers Kate Abramson and Adam Leite have argued</a>.</p> <p>Many psychologists claim self-love is important for adopting the kind and compassionate self-perception crucial for overcoming conditions that weaponise self-criticism, like <a href="https://theconversation.com/clinical-perfectionism-when-striving-for-excellence-gets-you-down-43704">clinical perfectionism</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-people-have-eating-disorders-we-dont-really-know-and-thats-a-worry-121938">eating disorders</a>.</p> <p>More broadly, some argue compassion for oneself is necessary to support honest insights into your own behaviour. They believe we need warm and compassionate self-reflection to avoid the defensiveness that comes with the fear of judgement – even if we’re standing as our own judge.</p> <p>For this reason, a compassionate form of self-love is often necessary to follow Socrates’ advice to “know thyself”, says <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">philosopher Jan Bransen</a>. Positive self-love, by these lights, can help us grow as people.</p> <h2>Self-love ‘misguided and silly’</h2> <p>But not everyone agrees you need self-love to grow. The late philosopher <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/news/2005/nov/29/guardianobituaries.obituaries">Oswald Hanfling</a> was deeply sceptical of this idea. In fact, he argued the notion of loving oneself was misguided and silly. His ideas are mostly rejected by philosophers of love, but pointing out where they go wrong can be useful.</p> <p>When you love someone, he said, you’re prepared to sacrifice your own interests for those of your beloved. But he thought the idea of sacrificing your own interests made no sense – which shows, he concluded, we can’t love ourselves.</p> <p><a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3751159">He wrote</a>: "I may sacrifice an immediate satisfaction for the sake of my welfare in the future, as in the case of giving up smoking. In this case, however, my motive is not love but self-interest. What I reveal in giving up smoking is not the extent of my love for myself, but an understanding that the long-term benefits of giving it up are likely to exceed the present satisfaction of going on with it."</p> <p>We often have conflicting interests (think of someone who is agonising over two different career paths) – and it’s not at all strange to sacrifice certain interests for the sake of others.</p> <p>This is not just a question of sacrificing short-term desires in favour of a long-term good, but a matter of sacrificing something of value for your ultimate benefit (or, so you hope).</p> <h2>Self-compassion</h2> <p>Hanfling fails to consider the role of compassionate self-love. While we might understand it’s in our interests to do something (for instance, repair bridges with someone we’ve fallen out with), it might take a compassionate and open disposition towards ourselves to recognise what’s in our best interests.</p> <p>We might need this self-compassion, too, in order to admit our failures – so we can overcome our defensiveness and see clearly how we’re failing to fulfil <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">these interests</a>.</p> <p>Self-acceptance in this context does not mean giving ourselves licence to run roughshod over the interests of those around us, nor to justify our flaws as “valid” rather than work on them.</p> <p>Self-love, as promoted by contemporary psychologists, means standing in a compassionate relationship to ourselves. And there’s nothing contradictory about this idea.</p> <p>Just as we strive to develop a supportive, kind relationship to the people we care about – and just as this doesn’t involve uncritical approval of everything they do – compassionate self-love doesn’t mean abandoning valid self-criticism.</p> <p>In fact, self-compassion has the opposite effect. It promotes comfort with the kind of critical self-assessment that helps us grow – which leads to resilience. It breeds the opposite of narcissistic self-absorption.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205938/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, PhD Candidate (Teaching roles at Macquarie &amp; Wollongong), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/self-love-might-seem-selfish-but-done-right-its-the-opposite-of-narcissism-205938">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

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Oprah's weight-loss backflip: "I'm done with the shame"

<p>Oprah Winfrey has become one of the first A-list celebrities to openly admit that she has resorted to using weight loss medication after months of speculation, according to <em>Page Six</em>. </p> <p>“I now use it as I feel I need it, as a tool to manage not yo-yoing,” she told <em>People Magazine</em>. </p> <p>“The fact that there’s a medically approved prescription for managing weight and staying healthier, in my lifetime, feels like relief, like redemption, like a gift, and not something to hide behind and once again be ridiculed for.”</p> <p>The 69-year-old added, “I’m absolutely done with the shaming from other people and particularly myself.”</p> <p>This reversal comes after the actress rocked a <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/body/slimmed-down-oprah-addresses-ozempic-rumours" target="_blank" rel="noopener">slimmed down look</a> at the premiere for the reboot of <em>The Color Purple </em>last week. </p> <p>She had previously denied using weight loss drugs in an episode of<em> Oprah Daily’s The Life You Want: The State of Weight, </em>where she said turning to weight loss medication is "the easy way out.”</p> <p>Although she did not disclose exactly which drug she took, or whether it was the celebrity favourite Type II diabetes medication Ozempic, the media mogul revealed the reason why she had a change of heart. </p> <p>She told <em>People Magazine</em> that she became more open to using a pharmaceutical after conducting a panel discussion with medical experts in July.</p> <p>“I had the biggest ‘aha’ along with many people in that audience,” she said. </p> <p>“I realised I’d been blaming myself all these years for being overweight, and I have a predisposition that no amount of willpower is going to control.”</p> <p>She also shared the success she has had with the unnamed medication, claiming that she gained only half a pound “instead of gaining eight pounds like [she] did last year,” after Thanksgiving. </p> <p>Winfrey added that ultimately it wasn't about the number on the scale but “it was a second shot for me to live a more vital and vibrant life.”</p> <p>The O Magazine founder also said that the medication were just a larger part of her health and fitness regimen, which includes hiking. </p> <p>“I know everybody thought I was on it, but I worked so damn hard. I know that if I’m not also working out and vigilant about all the other things, it doesn’t work for me.”</p> <p><em>Images: </em><em>Arturo Holmes/The Hollywood Reporter via Getty Images</em></p> <p> </p>

Body

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"What have I done?!" Sandra Sully opens up on her big Masked Singer reveal

<p>Beloved TV personality Sandra Sully <a href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/television/sandra-sully-reveals-how-she-broke-down-with-anxiety-on-the-masked-singer-australia/news-story/6b2aa31a7eab6c3c567005803937fa6d" target="_blank" rel="noopener">recently shared her candid experience</a> of battling anxiety while participating in <em>The Masked Singer Australia – </em>one of the most anticipated and highly publicised reveals in the history of the show.</p> <p>According to the Daily Mail, the 10 News presenter found herself regretting her decision to join the reality show, and contemplated ways to back out. “I literally broke down in tears after a singing lesson, thinking ‘what have I done?’,” she told the publication.</p> <p>Then, in the midst of all this turmoil and anxiety, Sully had a pivotal moment after a singing lesson. Overwhelmed by self-doubt, she broke down in tears, questioning the wisdom of her choice to be on the show at all.</p> <p>She repeatedly voiced her concerns to her husband, Symon Brewis-Weston, saying, "What have I done? I can't do it, I can't do it – what am I going to do?"</p> <p>It was Brewis-Weston who provided her with the much-needed encouragement. He had initially convinced her to participate after years of declining offers from producers. He sternly advised her to stop spiralling into negativity, reminding her of the reasons she had said yes to the show and encouraging her to embrace the experience with a sense of fun. He told her, "Just have a bit of fun. No one's going to die, including you."</p> <p>Sully took his advice to heart, realising that her anxiety was getting the best of her. She had a moment of self-reflection and decided to stop doubting herself.</p> <p>Sully's big reveal as the Fawn character, designed by Tim Chappel, was a shock to the show's panellists  Mel B, Abbie Chatfield, Dave Hughes and Chrissie Swan, who had not heard her sing during her more than 30-year career in news presentation.</p> <p>Sully's lack of singing experience surprised not only the viewers but also her husband and friends, as she never sang in the shower and only had experience as a drummer in her primary school band. She humorously admitted, "I don't sing along in the car – I probably can now because I've shown Australia I can't sing. So we can all laugh out loud together as I also laugh at myself."</p> <p>Relieved that her <em>Masked Singer</em> journey is over, Sully faced additional challenges beyond anxiety, including the need to constantly tell fibs to friends and colleagues in order to conceal her identity. She also grappled with claustrophobia, particularly once the heavy mask was placed on her head.</p> <p>Describing the experience, she said, "Your whole head is ensconced like in a balaclava, and then you have to put this mask on and it's done up under your chin, and then tightened like a bike helmet underneath it so it all fits your head." The show forced her to confront various personal fears beyond performing and singing.</p> <p>Although Sully is open to pushing her boundaries and venturing outside her comfort zone, she has firmly declined offers to appear on Ten's <em>I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here</em>, citing her severe claustrophobia and fear of snakes as insurmountable obstacles.</p> <p>She is grateful for choosing <em>The Masked Singer</em> as her reality show adventure, where she had the opportunity to have fun despite the challenges.</p> <p><em>Images: Network Ten</em></p>

TV

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Done with Barbie? How to reuse or recycle old dolls

<p>Bright pink clothing has been a hot item at a number of Brotherhood of St Laurence (BSL) op shops as movie-goers doll up to see Greta Gerwig’s <em>Barbie</em>.</p> <div class="copy"> <p>Kelly McMurray, an area store manager for BSL, says “a lot of 18 – 35 year old women have been coming in to get outfits for premier parties. </p> <p>“It’s been really fun helping people to find their outfits!”  </p> <p>The movie has set off a global Barbiecore mania, pinkifying everything and <a href="https://au.news.yahoo.com/barbie-movies-potential-500-million-haul-could-have-huge-implications-for-mattel-123756476.html" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">driving demand</a> for more plastic dolls and toy company merchandise.</p> <p>Even before the movie, the global population of Barbies was growing by <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/barbie-science/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">around 100 new dolls every minute</a>. </p> <p>Which begs the question: what to do with all those dolls once the gloss of the movie ultimately wears off?</p> <p>For toys still in good condition, reusing them by donating to friends or op shops is an obvious first choice.</p> <p>“Our stores do receive a lot of toys every year,” McMurray says.</p> <p>“The peak of our toy donations would be in the New Year and the second week of every school holidays – when people have either been gifted new toys (after Christmas) and when they have had time to do a clean out – hence the second week of school holidays.” </p> <p>For those seeking a more sustainable supply of Barbie dolls, accessories or merchandise, McMurray suggests visiting one of the bigger BSL stores, as those tend to receive the bulk of toy donations.</p> <p>In Melbourne, the Deer Park op shop has two large sections dedicated to kids toys and clothes, while the Belmont store has been receiving – and selling – a lot of Barbie DVDs.</p> <p>When donating Barbies, or any kind of doll or toy, McMurray says people need to really consider if the toy is in a suitable condition, and isn’t missing any body parts. </p> <p>“A little wear and tear is ok. But if people have any doubts about it – best not to include it in their donations.”</p> <p>For those ‘weird Barbies’ past the point of no return, recycling is the next best option. </p> <p>Research by retailer Flora &amp; Fauna suggests Australians send <a href="https://giftguideonline.com.au/flora-fauna-launches-upcycled-toys-christmas-initiative/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">26.8 million toys</a> to landfill every year.</p> <p>Plastic toys are considered harder to recycle than many regular household items, and can not be put in kerbside recycling bins.</p> <p><iframe title="Think Pink: The Science of Barbie" src="https://omny.fm/shows/huh-science-explained/think-pink-the-science-of-barbie/embed?in_playlist=podcast&amp;style=Cover" width="100%" height="180" frameborder="0"></iframe></p> <p>Global recycling company TerraCycle offers a toy recycling program for worn out and broken toys in partnership with department store Big W. It’s called ‘Toys for Joy’.</p> <p>Marina Antoniozzi, TerraCycle’s head of operations, says the initiative saw over 18 tonnes of old toys collected in the first year of trial operations in 2021. </p> <p>The program has now collected well over 160 tonnes of toys, she says.</p> <p>“The majority of toys are not kerbside recyclable due to the complex nature of their composition. Toys are frequently made up of several materials including different types of plastics and metals, which means they need to be manually sorted and separated,” Antoniozzi says.</p> <p>The recycling company partners with toy brands and retailers because the cost to collect and process the material is usually more than the value of raw material produced through the recycling process.</p> <p>In Barbie’s case, the doll is made up of a <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/people/culture/plastic-artefact-what-is-barbie-even-made-of/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">complex mix of different types of plastics</a>. </p> <p>According to a <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2073-4360/14/20/4287" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">study by Italian researchers</a> early dolls made between 1959 and 1976 comprised a complex mix of different <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/science/explainer-what-is-a-polymer/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">polymers</a>: polyvinyl chloride faces and legs; hair from polyvinylidene dichloride; and torsos made from low-density polyethylene. </p> <p>More <a href="http://www.designlife-cycle.com/barbie-dolls" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">modern dolls</a> have arms of ethylene-vinyl acetate (also used in thongs, and frozen food packaging), torsos of acrylonitrile-butadiene-styrene (also found in Lego), legs from polypropylene, and heads made of hard vinyl (like the kind used in vinyl records). </p> <p>Once collected, the toys sent to TerraCycle for recycling are checked in at TerraCycle’s Materials Recovery Facility where they are manually sorted, separated into individual material streams and prepared for processing.</p> <p>Antoniozzi says that in Australia, TerraCycle processes Barbie dolls and accessories along with other hard plastic toys. These are sent to recycling facilities to be shredded and cleaned. </p> <p>Residual metals are removed using magnets in a process called eddy current separation. </p> <p>The plastics are then sorted into different types using technologies like near infrared, a spectroscopy technique used for analysing and differentiating between polymers.</p> <p>Afterwards, the separated, shredded plastics go through a melting and extrusion process producing recycled plastic pellets, used by manufacturers to make a variety of products.</p> <p>So, when Barbie goes to the recycling plant, she will ultimately be sorted, shredded, melted and turned into plastic pellets.</p> <p>Antoniozzi says donating toys is a good first option. </p> <p>“But if your Barbie is genuinely beyond repair, then you can take her, Ken, Sandy, as well as all her horses, buses, apartments and accessories along to your local BIG W store and give her a second life through the Toys for Joy recycling program,” she says.</p> <p>“Who knows… she may come back to you as a flower pot.” </p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em><!-- Start of tracking content syndication. Please do not remove this section as it allows us to keep track of republished articles --> <img id="cosmos-post-tracker" style="opacity: 0; height: 1px!important; width: 1px!important; border: 0!important; position: absolute!important; z-index: -1!important;" src="https://syndication.cosmosmagazine.com/?id=258208&amp;title=Done+with+Barbie%3F+How+to+reuse+or+recycle+old+dolls" width="1" height="1" data-spai-target="src" data-spai-orig="" data-spai-exclude="nocdn" /></em><em><a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/earth/sustainability/done-with-barbie-how-to-reuse-or-recycle-old-dolls/">This article</a> was originally published on <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com">Cosmos Magazine</a> and was written by <a href="https://cosmosmagazine.com/contributor/petra-stock/">Petra Stock</a>. </em></div>

Home & Garden

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“Done with the vaccine”: Karl Stefanovic blasts fifth booster

<p>Karl Stefanovic has once again sparked controversy after declaring he is “done with the vaccine.”</p> <p>Karl shocked viewers after expressing concerns that the jab could cause “heart issues” as the Australian Technical Advisory Group (ATAGI) updated its vaccine recommendations. </p> <p>According to the ATAGI, as of February 20, anyone aged 18 and over who has not had the COVID vaccine or has not contracted the virus in the past six months will be eligible to get another shot - opening up a fourth dose for Aussies aged 19-29 and a fifth dose for those 65 and over. </p> <p>“As you know, I am not a glowing ambassador for more than two shots,” Stefanovic said.</p> <p>The Today show host then questioned whether another dose would be able to fight new strains of the virus, stating he is aware of people “over the age of 60 who are still incredibly nervous about getting it."</p> <p>“The other thing that I am concerned about, if I have another dose, is that I may get complications,” he said. </p> <p>The host’s guest, medical expert Dr Nick Coatsway insisted Australians aged 60 and over “needn’t be” scared of the jab but added that the conceded boosters are only a temporary solution.</p> <p>“Let’s understand the science, if you get a fifth dose your protection is enhanced for around about 8-12 weeks and then it returns after the fourth dose or the third dose,” Dr Coatsworth said.</p> <p>The ATAGI has again emphasised the importance of Aussies who are already eligible, including people over 65, to get their booster in 2023 as they remain at high risk of severe disease and death from COVID. </p> <p>Currently, there is no additional booster available to those 18 and below, with the exception of children aged 5-17 who are at high risk of developing a severe illness.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Getty</em></p>

TV

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"I've done enough": Hero tradie slams raising of retirement age

<p>Thousands of Australians are rallying behind one hard-working tradie, who is standing up in opposition to the proposed rising of the retirement age. </p> <p>On July 1st, the Aussie pension eligibility age will rise from 65 to 67, with research suggesting that it will rise again to the age of 70 by 2050.</p> <p>The tradie shared a photo holding a sign that reads, "Only a bloke who's worked in an office his whole life would think you can work until you're 70."</p> <p>Many have echoed his statement, particularly blue-collar workers who say it is asking too much of people approaching 70 to keep up physically demanding labour.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">The LNP has been working for years to oppress &amp; dumb down the Australian population so that it has more power &amp; control over us. But insisting that the retirement age should be 70 is just wrong. This isn’t about ‘left’ or ‘right’ any more. It’s about the elite vs the rest of us <a href="https://t.co/yxIuAL75rm">pic.twitter.com/yxIuAL75rm</a></p> <p>— Bethany Williams 💙🇺🇦💛 (@BethanyinCBR) <a href="https://twitter.com/BethanyinCBR/status/1332236229077659651?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 27, 2020</a></p></blockquote> <p>"My body is just tired, as is my husband's, who is 66. We both need to just rest now. We had planned on retirement at 65. Then they changed the goal posts," one person shared in replying to the image.</p> <p>"I've worked 43 years as a butcher. I'm almost 65 yrs old, I think I've done enough, and my body agrees," a second added.</p> <p>"I spent many years in a quarry as well as a coal mine, my body is physically worn out, so I 110 per cent agree with his poster," a third agreed.</p> <p>Others shared that they thought it was simply unfair to ask older Aussies to keep working in manual labour in order to provide for their families, during a time when they should be resting and starting to plan their retirement years without stressing about finances.</p> <p>Many angered Aussies spoke out about the politicians who are responsible for raising the age pension number, saying they have no idea how physically taxing manual labour jobs can be.</p> <p>"The politicians all need to get out of their chairs and do a tradies' job for a week or two then they will know what a bad back is and realise that the body won't let you work until you are 70," one person wrote. </p> <p>A second added added, "I would like to see all politicians work a week as a bricklayer, a boilermaker, a plumber, or a builder - doing what we did to 65, they couldn't for a week."</p> <p>Currently, Australians are able to access a pension wage at 65 years and 6 months as long as they were born between July 1st 1952 and December 31st 1953.</p> <p>Those born after that date will be able to access their pension from the age of 66.</p> <p>However, from July 1st anyone born after January 1st 1957 will have to work even longer with the pension age increasing to 67-years-old. </p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook</em></p>

Retirement Life

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"I'm done": Why Ed Sheeran is threatening to quit music

<p>Ed Sheehan has made a bold statement about the future of his career, while fighting an "insulting" court case. </p> <p>The British singer-songwriter is currently embroiled in a copyright case which has seen him take the stand in a New York City courtroom to defend his music. </p> <p>Sheeran, 32, is being sued over his 2014 single <em>Thinking Out Loud</em> by Structured Asset Sales, who claim that Sheeran's hit took elements directly from Marvin Gaye's <em>Let's Get It On</em>.</p> <p>On Monday morning local time, Sheeran took to the stand for a second time, expressing his exasperation over the case, and saying he will quit music if he loses the case. </p> <p>"If that happens, I'm done, I'm stopping," Sheeran said, per <a title="People" href="https://people.com/music/ed-sheeran-done-if-he-loses-lets-get-it-on-copyright-lawsuit/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">People</a>, on the stand when his lawyer, Ilene Farkas, asked him what he would do if the court found <em>Thinking Out Loud</em> to be too similar to Gaye's <em>Let's Get It On.</em></p> <p>"I find it to be really insulting," Sheeran added. "I work really hard to be where I'm at."</p> <p>Sheeran didn't clarify his comments once court has adjourned, leaving many fans concerned over the future of his career. </p> <p>Structured Asset Sales launched the lawsuit against Sheeran in 2018 after purchasing a third of the shares of <em>Let's Get It On</em> from the family of the song's co-writer, Ed Townsend.</p> <p>During the courtroom proceedings, Sheeran was also cross-examined in court by the plaintiff's lawyer, Robert Frank – which prompted the award-winning singer to complain.</p> <p>"You're trying to diminish my success," Sheeran told Frank on the stand in response to his line of questioning. "<em>Thinking Out Loud</em> was my first Grammy."</p> <p>"It was pretty devastating and pretty frightening because it's something we did not do," <em>Thinking Out Loud</em> co-writer Amy Wage said on the stand about the copyright allegations.</p> <p>Sheeran also referenced the plaintiff's musicologist Alexander Stewart's testimony from last week, which saw Stewart argue <em>Thinking Out Loud</em> and <em>Let's Get It On</em> were "very, very similar".</p> <p>"I think what he's doing is criminal here," Sheeran said of Stewart's testimony. "I don't know why he's allowed to be an expert."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Music

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A horse died on the set of The Rings of Power: more needs to be done to ensure the welfare of horses used in entertainment

<p>The recent <a href="https://variety.com/2023/tv/news/rings-of-power-horse-death-lord-of-the-rings-peta-1235564884/">death of a horse</a> on the set of Amazon’s <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7631058/">The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power</a> is the latest incident raising questions about how humans use horses for entertainment and sport.</p> <p>While a statement from producers said the horses’s cardiac arrest occurred before the day’s filming began, animal rights activists PETA used the death to call on all screen producers to replace on-set horses with CGI and mechanical rig alternatives.</p> <p>The incident feeds into growing public concern about horse welfare on film and TV sets, at the track and in equestrian sports.</p> <p>But improving horse welfare is about more than just reputation repair – too often it’s about survival for horses and humans.</p> <h2>Horse welfare in film and TV</h2> <p>The riding of a horse over a cliff to its death for the movie Jesse James (1939) led to the establishment of <a href="https://humanehollywood.org/about-us/">American Humane</a>, which now oversees around 100,000 animals on more than 1,000 productions each year.</p> <p>While things have improved since the early days of film and television, deaths and mistreatment of horses still occur.</p> <p>In 1987, on the set of <a href="https://trove.nla.gov.au/newspaper/article/118307194">The Man From Snowy River II</a>, a seriously injured horse was killed using the blunt end of an axe.</p> <p>More recently, the high-profile series <a href="https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/the-real-story-behind-hbos-cancellation-of-luck">Luck</a>, starring Dustin Hoffman, was cancelled following the deaths of three horses.</p> <h2>The good and bad of unprecedented global exposure</h2> <p>In 2021, the Tokyo Olympics beamed to a global audience the excessive <a href="https://7news.com.au/sport/olympics/peta-calls-for-abusive-equestrian-events-to-be-axed-from-olympics-c-3703388">whipping and punching</a> of modern pentathlon horse Saint Boy and show jumper Kilkenny’s <a href="https://www.chronofhorse.com/article/kilkenny-suffers-nosebleed-during-olympic-individual-final">spectacular nosebleed</a> during the controversial show jumping program.</p> <p>While the bleed must have been obvious, officials did not intervene to stop the ride.</p> <p>Confronting images, and the perceived failure of organisers to protect the horses involved, brought into clear and global focus the indisputable welfare issues faced by horses competing at the elite level.</p> <p>The global outcry led to <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9892093/Name-price-Kaley-Cuoco-offers-buy-horse-cruelly-punched-Olympics.html">actress Kaley Cuoco offering to buy Saint Boy</a> and the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2021/nov/02/modern-pentathlon-votes-to-ditch-horse-riding-after-tokyo-olympic-turmoil">withdrawal of the equestrian phase from modern pentathlon</a>.</p> <h2>Risk to humans and horses</h2> <p>Horse welfare does not just impact animals.</p> <p>Since the 1840s, 873 jockeys are known to have <a href="https://www.thoroughbredracing.com/articles/2062/facts-and-figures-jockey-fatalities-australia/">died in race falls</a> in Australia.</p> <p>Internationally, the sport of eventing (where competitors complete three phases: dressage, show jumping and cross-country) reported 38 rider and 65 horse fatalities during or after competition between 2007-15.</p> <p>Riding horses is considered one of the most <a href="https://beva.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/evj.13934">dangerous of all sporting pursuits</a>, and the deaths of riders and jockeys, usually from falls, are common.</p> <p>Public concern about risk to horses and humans through horse racing and equestrian sports, as well as screen production, also <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2076-2615/12/15/1987">threaten these industries’ social licence</a>.</p> <h2>Better horse welfare is related to better rider safety</h2> <p>Our research offers hope for the horse industry and for those passionate about riding horses.</p> <p>Last year, we <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0168159121003269">published a paper</a> demonstrating the link between horse welfare and rider safety. We asked riders how they cared for their horses and how their horses behaved when ridden – for example, we wanted to know how often horses were bucking or rearing.</p> <p>From this information, we calculated a relative welfare score for each horse. We also asked riders about their accidents and injuries.</p> <p>After analysing the data from over 400 riders, we found the higher the horse welfare score, the fewer accidents and injuries a rider reported.</p> <p>In a <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08927936.2023.2176589">subsequent study</a>, we found horses with better welfare scores are more enjoyable to ride, most likely because they perform better and riders feel more in control, creating a win-win for horses and riders.</p> <h2>Good horse welfare means more than good health</h2> <p>Often good welfare is thought of in terms of an animal being healthy.</p> <p>While this is part of good welfare, good health alone is not enough – especially for a horse competing at the elite level or taking part in a film.</p> <p>Horses are <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0168159117300710?casa_token=5E77h_TYKGEAAAAA:EUBGz7BTnACvpvB_3iYM-urXpBxJbS95G0-05yMRJEbMTg_SEeb_VnSoVgn35su8_aNOZEpSqctL">neophobes</a> – this means they find new things frightening – so most horses are likely to find a movie set or travelling to a new location stressful. The most up-to-date <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2076-2615/10/10/1870/htm">understanding of welfare</a> tells us that stress and poor mental health means poor animal welfare.</p> <p>When a horse is stressed or in pain they <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0168159117300692">behave in a very predictable way</a> – they run away, panic, kick out or buck and rear.</p> <p>Yet, anecdotally and in the media, people seeing a horse behaving in this way often claim the horse is crazy, unpredictable or just plain mean.</p> <p>More likely, an “unpredictable” horse is suffering from poor welfare.</p> <p>As part of our research program, we have developed a <a href="https://hub.rspca.org.au/attachments/88">new framework</a> to help horse owners identify aspects of their care and training that diminish horse welfare.</p> <p>This information can be used to make modifications to improve horse welfare, and, importantly, can be applied to horses in any equine sector, including racing, sport and film and television.</p> <h2>Investing in the future of horses in entertainment and sport</h2> <p>Although a veterinarian assessed the recent horse death on the set of The Rings of Power as “unlikely to be associated with the horse’s participation in the film”, more can be done to protect horses and the industry.</p> <p>In Australia, <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2076-2615/11/7/1986">no specific standard exists for the use of animals</a> in filmed media, and each state and territory has differing risk management guidelines.</p> <p>An opportunity now exists for the industry to set a new standard for horse care and training.</p> <p>An easily executable first step for the industry could be to insist a scientifically trained and credentialed equine behaviour expert be involved in the recruitment and supervision of horse actors and their trainers at all stages of production.</p> <p>This would ensure horse actors are appropriately trained to be on set and that horses are trained using the most up-to-date ethical methods.</p> <p>Horse behaviour experts could also help in scene design to minimise horses’ exposure to stressful situations and identify tasks that are incompatible with good horse welfare.</p> <p>If these suggestions were to be adopted, the film and television industry would be setting the benchmark for horse welfare – and pressure other horse industries to follow suit.</p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-horse-died-on-the-set-of-the-rings-of-power-more-needs-to-be-done-to-ensure-the-welfare-of-horses-used-in-entertainment-202939" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.</em></p> <p><em>Images: The Rings of Power / Amazon</em></p>

TV

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Readers Respond: What’s one thing on your bucket list you're proud you've done?

<p>Everyone has a bucket list full of things they want to do, see or experience before they die.</p> <p>For some, it’s something sweet, like starting a family and for others it’s challenging themselves and their limits.</p> <p>We asked our Over60 readers about their proudest accomplishment they’ve ticked off their bucket list, and the answers did not disappoint.</p> <p>Lynn Taylor- Snorkelled in the Great Barrier Reef I can't swim & I am claustrophobic a fabulous tour guide supported me to do it. Amazing & unforgettable.</p> <p>Elaine Ralph- Got my Motorbike License at 50, ridden most of Australia. Also been in a Hot air Balloon.</p> <p>Bill van Nierop- Paddled a kayak from Albury NSW down Murray river to Wellington with less than 50% lung function and an old mate supporting in a tinny. Raised $100k for research on the way</p> <p>Colleen Mccombe- Had three children I’m very proud of and love.</p> <p>Pam Garmony- Trek to Mt Everest Base Camp return. Actually went up to 5,500 metres. Glad I did it in 1999.</p> <p>Jeanette Edwards - Not a bucket list. But one of the best things was Skydiving with my son who is a skydiver and his beautiful wife who is no longer with us filmed it all she made it so special it was one of the best moments in my life and I will never forget it.</p> <p>Susan Hamlin Bye- Obtained my Masters Degree in my 50's! With Distinction!</p> <p>Christian Hansen- Parachute jump, white water rafting, zip lining, too much more to list, in many areas of my life I've been blessed</p> <p>Sue Hall- Walked over a slate bridge knowing that I would have to return! I am scared stiff or being able to see below my feet!</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Retirement Life

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Why do I remember embarrassing things I’ve said or done in the past and feel ashamed all over again?

<p>We’ve all done it – you’re walking around going about your business and suddenly you’re thinking about that time in high school you said something really stupid you would never say now.</p> <p>Or that time a few years ago when you made a social gaffe.</p> <p>You cringe and just want to die of shame.</p> <p>Why do these negative memories seem to just pop into our heads? And why do we feel so embarrassed still, when the occasion is long past?</p> <p><strong>How do memories come into our awareness?</strong></p> <p>The current thinking is there are two ways in which we recall experiences from our past. One way is purposeful and voluntary. For example, if you try to remember what you did at work yesterday, or what you had for lunch last Saturday. This involves a deliberate and effortful process during which we search for the memory in our minds.</p> <p>The second way is <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0963721410370301" target="_blank" rel="noopener">unintended and spontaneous</a>. These are memories that just seem to “pop” into our minds and can even be unwanted or intrusive. So, where does this second type of memory come from?</p> <p>Part of the answer lays in how memories are connected to each other. The current understanding is our past experiences are represented in <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1364661318300652?casa_token=SSFCzEsOjMkAAAAA:dYMJ2aVZpSCs9JCD9-iXsTMMnkyqnNtlcOoxA3lLzs8sNRrA8SXqb5LYamz25ZcMrsYxLoftp3A" target="_blank" rel="noopener">connected networks of cells</a> that reside in our brain, called neurons.</p> <p>These neurons grow physical connections with each other through the overlapping information in these representations. For example, memories might share a type of context (different beaches you’ve been to, restaurants you’ve eaten at), occur at similar periods of life (childhood, high school years), or have emotional and thematic overlap (times we have loved or argued with others).</p> <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=1000&amp;fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=401&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=401&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=401&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=503&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=503&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493440/original/file-20221104-13-ha3lz8.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=503&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="A bakery window" /></a><figcaption><em><span class="caption">Memories can be triggered by internal stimuli (thoughts, feelings) or external stimuli (something we see, hear, smell).</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Yeh Xintong/Unsplash</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">CC BY</a></span></em></figcaption></figure> <p>An initial activation of a memory could be triggered by an external stimuli from the environment (sights, sounds, tastes, smells) or internal stimuli (thoughts, feelings, physical sensations). Once neurons containing these memories are activated, associated memories are then <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.3758/s13423-020-01792-x" target="_blank" rel="noopener">more likely to be recalled into conscious awareness</a>.</p> <p>An example might be walking past a bakery, smelling fresh bread, and having a spontaneous thought of last weekend when you cooked a meal for a friend. This might then lead to a memory of when toast was burned and there was smoke in the house. Not all activation will lead to a conscious memory, and at times the associations between memories might not be entirely clear to us.</p> <p><strong>Why do memories make us feel?</strong></p> <p>When memories come to mind, we often experience <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/(SICI)1099-0720(199610)10:5%3C435::AID-ACP408%3E3.0.CO;2-L" target="_blank" rel="noopener">emotional responses to them</a>. In fact, involuntary memories tend to be <a href="https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/full/10.1098/rstb.2019.0693" target="_blank" rel="noopener">more negative than voluntary memories</a>. Negative memories also tend to have a <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1037/1089-2680.5.4.323" target="_blank" rel="noopener">stronger emotional tone</a> than positive memories.</p> <p>Humans are more motivated to avoid bad outcomes, bad situations, and bad definitions of ourselves than to seek out good ones. This is likely due to the pressing need for survival in the world: physically, mentally, and socially.</p> <p>So involuntary memories can make us feel acutely sad, anxious, and even ashamed of ourselves. For example, a memory involving embarrassment or shame might indicate to us we have done something others might find to be distasteful or negative, or in some way we have violated social norms.</p> <p>These emotions are important for us to feel, and we learn from our memories and these emotional responses to manage future situations differently.</p> <p><strong>Does this happen to some people more than others?</strong></p> <p>This is all well and good, and mostly we’re able to remember our past and experience the emotions without too much distress. But it may happen for some people more than others, and with stronger emotions attached.</p> <p>One clue as to why comes from research on <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2023-06108-001" target="_blank" rel="noopener">mood-congruent memory</a>. This is the tendency to be more likely to recall memories which are consistent with our <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/(SICI)1099-0720(199610)10:5%3C435::AID-ACP408%3E3.0.CO;2-L" target="_blank" rel="noopener">current mood</a>.</p> <figure class="align-right zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=1000&amp;fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=237&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=900&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=900&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=900&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=1131&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=1131&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/493442/original/file-20221104-13-e9jr5g.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=1131&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="Man at desk thinking" /></a><figcaption><em><span class="caption">Ruminating is often unhelpful.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">pexels/olia danilevich</span>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">CC BY</a></span></em></figcaption></figure> <p>So, if you’re feeling sad, well, you’re more likely to recall memories related to disappointments, loss or shame. Feeling anxious or bad about yourself? You’re more likely to recall times when you felt scared or unsure.</p> <p>In some mental health disorders, such as <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735817303914?casa_token=k0OOX1ybROYAAAAA:UXy5KQk-_8h37dwSCDJqkoFebDn3b5atTodeeF0eYGeHjgtimUUcznPX9_Sxmq-5QsYx5gcUFQ" target="_blank" rel="noopener">major depression</a>, people more often recall memories that evoke negative feelings, the negative feelings are relatively stronger, and these feelings of shame or sadness are perceived as facts about themselves. That is, feelings become facts.</p> <p>Another thing that is more likely in some mental health disorders is <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005796720300243?casa_token=eaQkokETnM8AAAAA:WjFF1oStuF9VUm7KWdP1zwd7CluYm9M5YZKTotYEV8v0ijZDJ2eDSLdv_Di6kICGw7h59kmW4y4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">rumination</a>. When we ruminate, we repetitively think about negative past experiences and how we feel or felt about them.</p> <p>On the surface, the function of rumination is to try and “work out” what happened and learn something or problem-solve so these experiences do not happen again. While this is good idea in theory, when we ruminate we become stuck in the past and re-experience negative emotions <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005796720300243?casa_token=eaQkokETnM8AAAAA:WjFF1oStuF9VUm7KWdP1zwd7CluYm9M5YZKTotYEV8v0ijZDJ2eDSLdv_Di6kICGw7h59kmW4y4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">without much benefit</a>.</p> <p>Not only that, but it means those memories in our neural networks become more strongly connected with other information, and are even more likely to then be <a href="https://www.pnas.org/doi/abs/10.1073/pnas.1800006115" target="_blank" rel="noopener">recalled involuntarily</a>.</p> <p><strong>Can we stop the negative feelings?</strong></p> <p>The good news is memories are very adaptable. When we recall a memory we can elaborate on it and change our thoughts, feelings, and appraisals of past experiences.</p> <p>In a process referred to as “<a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2018-24701-001" target="_blank" rel="noopener">reconsolidation</a>”, changes can be made so the next time that memory is recalled it is different to what it once was and has a changed emotional tone.</p> <p>For example, we might remember a time when we felt anxious about a test or a job interview that didn’t go so well and feel sad or ashamed. Reflecting, elaborating and reframing that memory might involve remembering some aspects of it that did go well, integrating it with the idea that you stepped up to a challenge even though it was hard, and reminding yourself it’s okay to feel anxious or disappointed about difficult things and it does not make us a failure or a bad person.</p> <p>Through this process of rewriting experiences in a way that is reasonable and self-compassionate, their prominence in our life and self-concept can be reduced, and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13607863.2011.651434" target="_blank" rel="noopener">our well-being can improve</a>.</p> <p>As for rumination, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735813001207?casa_token=arG_36s8na4AAAAA:Wrlcppj451P7mZlxg44UyooaM25GpoEwTFtx5gfHFc-k2M2cWCXXO75JYC9P7DnMKF7vw7SlcA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">one evidenced-based strategy</a> is to recognise when it is happening and try to shift attention onto something absorbing and sensorial (for example doing something with your hands or focusing on sights or sounds). This attention shifting can short circuit rumination and get you doing something more valued.</p> <p>Overall, remember that even though our brain will give us little reminders of our experiences, we don’t have to be stuck in the past.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/190535/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Writen by David John Hallford. Republished with permission from <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-do-i-remember-embarrassing-things-ive-said-or-done-in-the-past-and-feel-ashamed-all-over-again-190535" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.</em></p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Mind

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“The best thing I’ve ever done”: Answering the COPD wake-up call

<p>Brian is a 62-year-old Aussie bloke from Bendigo who once enjoyed a variety of different sports. He had led a very active lifestyle, was a keen fisherman, and loved playing footy. However, all that changed when, at just 47, he was diagnosed with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). </p> <p>COPD is a chronic and progressive lung condition, sometimes also diagnosed as emphysema or chronic bronchitis, that can cause your airways to narrow and become obstructed and inflamed, making breathing difficult.<sup>1</sup></p> <p>Unfortunately, there is no cure for COPD but there are management plans available – it’s just a matter of knowing what’s best for you. Which is exactly why Brian is sharing his own experience of the moment he became aware of certain symptoms, and proactively discussing his condition with his doctor to manage his COPD and remain as active as he can.</p> <p>The impact of COPD is staggering, making it the fifth leading cause of death and leading cause of preventable hospitalisations in Australia alone – and the third leading cause of death worldwide.<sup>2,3 </sup>What’s more, the prevalence of COPD increases with age, mostly occurring in people aged 45 and over.<sup>2</sup> </p> <p>When Brian was initially diagnosed, he was interested in learning as much as he could about COPD but was not ready to make specific lifestyle changes at that time. Then in 2015, he was also diagnosed with a heart condition, which shares some of the same risk factors as COPD. For Brian, this major health scare was a wake-up call, and he started to take more notice of his symptoms, particularly his breathing.</p> <p>Brian’s new approach included proactively talking to his doctor to understand his COPD – and in particular to know the difference between his “normal everyday symptoms” and the symptoms he felt when his COPD was worsening, and he was having a flare-up. In this context, a "flare-up" constituted a worsening of COPD symptoms that went beyond the normal day-to-day changes, and which needed additional medication as treatment.<sup>1</sup> </p> <p>For Brian, in terms of managing his COPD proactively, this has been the key.</p> <p>“The best thing I’ve ever done is create a plan (with my doctor). Because every time you have a flare-up, it causes more damage to your lungs. If you’ve been diagnosed with COPD, do something about it straight away.”</p> <p>Like Brian, there are countless Australians living with COPD who may not be aware of the difference between normal fluctuations in their symptoms and a COPD flare-up that could impact their overall health, and requires medical intervention.<sup>1</sup> Understanding the difference between your “normal everyday symptoms” versus your “signs of a flare-up” can ensure treatment is started as early as possible and may greatly improve the quality of your life. <sup>1</sup> This is why <a href="https://www.beflareaware.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">www.beflareaware.com.au</a> gives both patients and caregivers free access to an extensive wealth of information. </p> <p>The website provides more information about the disease and how to recognise the symptoms of an exacerbation, or a flare-up, and take action early. The raft of easy-use-tools include interactive videos, quizzes and advice from healthcare professionals.</p> <p>“COPD does creep up on you,” recalls Brian. “Suddenly you are getting puffed out doing everyday activities like walking to the car or along the beach. For me, everything started to become more of a chore, and I was constantly struggling to breathe.”</p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/11/O60_Brian_Evoke-10_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p>Upon reflection, Brian recalled how COPD had started to impact his relationships with his family and friends too, just as he was coming to terms with the importance of managing his condition.</p> <p>“I have always loved footy,” he says. “My grandson and I used to kick the footy at the local park. He’d be up one end and I on the other. We weren’t even half a dozen kicks in before I was totally out of steam, and I had to sit down. For me, quality time with the grandkids is so important. I told myself, if my grandson wants to kick the footy, then I should be kicking the footy with him to the best of my ability.”</p> <p>Brian started to take a proactive role in his health, including speaking to his doctors about finding a plan to manage his COPD, like taking note of the difference between his “normal everyday symptoms” and when he’s having a flare-up and taking action as soon as he notices one beginning; as well as making important lifestyle changes like quitting smoking and putting a healthy diet and sustainable exercise regime first. </p> <p>“We know our bodies catch up to us as we get older and it’s something many of us find difficult to accept,” he explains. “Knowing the signs and symptoms of issues that aren’t necessarily related to ageing, such as breathing, is critical.”</p> <p>Today, Brian’s lungs are operating at just 37% of normal capacity, which means any form of exertion is difficult. Despite these challenges, Brian has become very flare-aware and actively manages his COPD so that he is able to maintain activities that are important to him. Brian encourages other people living with COPD to take action as early as possible to best manage their condition too.</p> <p><a href="https://www.beflareaware.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/11/O60_BeFlareAware_videoThumb_02_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="659" /></a></p> <p>“In everything I do, from taking out the rubbish or going for a walk, I need to pace myself,” he says. “I always say that I could have made more of a difference to how I’m living now if I had taken action earlier and made lifestyle changes straight away.”</p> <p>Brian urges anybody who has been living with COPD to take the diagnosis seriously and <a href="https://www.beflareaware.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">seek out resources</a> to help you become flare-aware. </p> <p>Early recognition and the ability to manage the disease is important as it can minimise negative impacts of COPD and help prevent future flare-ups.<sup>1</sup> </p> <p>If you or someone you care for are feeling overwhelmed by a COPD diagnosis and would like to become more proactive in your management of COPD, <a href="https://www.beflareaware.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">www.beflareaware.com.au</a> is an excellent resource to educate both patients and caregivers – and also includes useful links and information created by Lung Foundation Australia. </p> <p>Check out the video below to hear more of Brian’s inspiring story, and to find out how you can live better and Be Flare Aware.</p> <p><a href="https://www.beflareaware.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/11/O60_BeFlareAware_videoThumb_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="644" /></a></p> <p><em>References: </em></p> <p><em>1. Lung Foundation Australia. COPD Factsheet. <a href="https://lungfoundation.com.au/resources/copd-fact-sheet/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://lungfoundation.com.au/resources/copd-fact-sheet/</a> [Last accessed: September 2022]</em></p> <p><em>2. AIHW. Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD). Available at: <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/chronic-respiratory-conditions/copd/contents/deaths" target="_blank" rel="noopener">https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/chronic-respiratory-conditions/copd/contents/deaths</a> [Last accessed: September 2022].</em></p> <p><em>3. Quaderi SA, Hurst JR. The unmet global burden of COPD. Glob Health Epidemiol Genom. 2018; 3: e4. Published 2018 Apr 6.</em></p> <p> <em>Images: Supplied</em></p> <p><em>This is a sponsored article produced in partnership with AstraZeneca’s <a href="https://www.beflareaware.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Be Flare Aware</a> campaign.</em></p>

Body

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"You have done it your way:" Karl's send-off for Tracy Grimshaw

<p dir="ltr">Karl Stefanovic has paid tribute to his colleague Tracy Grimshaw following her shock bombshell announcement of <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/news/news/tracy-grimshaw-s-huge-news" target="_blank" rel="noopener">retiring as host of <em>A Current Affair</em></a>.</p> <p dir="ltr">Grimshaw has been the face of the show for a whopping 17 years and shocked audiences when she announced she is stepping down at the end of the year and going on an extended break.</p> <p dir="ltr">Stefanovic reminisced about his time with Grimshaw, who at one point was his co-host, and congratulated her on her work on the news program saying she “is the best” he’d seen.</p> <p dir="ltr">"There are few interviewers in this country that are as balanced, as incisive, as well briefed and as well loved," he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"You have made your mark, Tracy Grimshaw, and you have done it your way."</p> <p dir="ltr">He also revealed some of the advice he received from the veteran journalist, who told him that it was a tough industry to be a part of.</p> <p dir="ltr">"She told me to stop being needy and grow up, because the industry will not be easy if you are soft - and it wasn't," he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Karl pointed out Tracy’s infamous eyebrow raise - which he said instilled fear in viewers as they watched the program.</p> <p dir="ltr">Tracy dropped the bombshell news on September 5, saying she wanted her viewers to hear it from her first.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Normally right about now we'd be telling you what to expect tomorrow night but lately I've personally been thinking longer term, and I have some news that I wanted you to hear from me before you hear it from anyone else," she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I've decided to finish up with A Current Affair this year.</p> <p dir="ltr">"It's been a big decision and before the gossip websites start telling you rubbish, I want you to know it's been my decision alone and I'm not being shoved out the door by the boys club because I'm too old.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I'm not too old, I'm just a bit tired. And for the record both the boys and the girls have asked me to stay.</p> <p dir="ltr">"But I've basically been a shift worker for 26 years, driving to work before dawn for nine years on the Today Show, and the past 17 years driving home after dark here on A Current Affair and it's time for less of that daily obligation."</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Nine</em></p>

TV

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Fast fashion: why your online returns may end up in landfill – and what can be done about it

<p>Fashion has a notorious environmental footprint, accounting for up to <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2022-fashion-industry-environmental-impact/">10%</a> of global carbon dioxide output. This is exacerbated by a fast fashion business model which encourages the frequent purchase of low-priced and non-durable items. </p> <p>Around <a href="https://fashionunited.uk/news/retail/return-rates-are-on-the-rise/2022020661142">30%</a> of online purchases are subsequently returned, much of which goes to landfill. In 2020, an estimated <a href="https://www.optoro.com/2021/02/03/returns-report-powering-resilient-retail-in-2020/">2.6 million tonnes</a> of returns were disposed of this way in the US alone. The problem has become so notorious that the online retailer Boohoo recently followed a number of high street brands in starting to <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-62140633">charge for returns</a> in order to discourage them.</p> <p>But what are the reasons for high returns and why are many returned items not being re-sold?</p> <p>The pandemic fundamentally changed the way we shop, with the temporary closure of physical stores representing a boon for online retailers. However, online retail’s surging market share has origins in long-standing fast fashion marketing practices. The premium placed on newness, low prices, and both free delivery and returns, all encourage customers to purchase multiple options with the knowledge they can return items freely (known as <a href="https://www.voguebusiness.com/consumers/bracketing-fashions-hidden-returns-problem#:%7E:text=The%20process%2C%20known%20as%20bracketing%2C%20is%20weighing%20heavy%20on%20retailers.&amp;text=To%20receive%20the%20Vogue%20Business,and%20send%20back%20the%20rest.">“bracketing”).</a></p> <p>Buy-now-pay-later schemes, such as <a href="https://www.klarna.com/uk/business/">Klarna</a>, that allow customers to order without upfront payment have accelerated online consumption. Research indicates that by offering such “payment solutions”, retailers will typically see a <a href="https://www.klarna.com/assets/sites/2/2020/01/15150545/Shopify2.0_US_final_2.pdf">68% increase</a> in average order value. </p> <p><a href="https://securecdn.pymnts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/Buy-Now-Pay-Later-February-2020-Tracker.pdf">Industry research suggests</a> that cart abandonment rates decrease by nearly 40% after the introduction of payment solutions. Discount events such as “Black Friday” also drive sales, with fashion accounting for around <a href="https://www.pwc.co.uk/industries/retail-consumer/insights/festive-predictions.html">one-third</a> of all Black Friday spend.</p> <h2>Fast fashion is synonymous with returns</h2> <p>Despite the appeal of low prices and discounts, cheaply manufactured fast fashion items can typically exhibit quality and fit issues, so are synonymous with returns. Impulsive spending, driven by discounts, also often leads to <a href="https://wwd.com/business-news/business-features/finder-deals-buyers-remorse-1234652035/">regret</a>, again increasing the incidence of return. The <a href="https://www.statista.com/forecasts/997848/returns-of-online-purchases-by-category-in-the-uk">32% return rate</a> for clothing orders therefore dwarfs that of other e-commerce sectors, comparing to just 7% in consumer electronics.</p> <p>For retailers, processing returns is also fraught with uncertainty and complexity. Which items will be returned, and in what state, is unknown. Often, once used, little can be done to make them desirable for re-purchase.</p> <p>This is particularly true in the case of “<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/shortcuts/2019/sep/18/is-wardrobing-ever-acceptable-shoppers">wardrobing</a>”, where a purchased item is worn once before being returned. Retailers not only encounter financial loss through reprocessing, they risk a spoiled <a href="https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/fashion-news/pretty-little-thing-leggings-arrived-22675252">reputation</a> if worn or damaged items are recirculated. </p> <p>ASOS previously announced that they would clamp down on “wardrobing” by closing the accounts of fraudulent returners. However, the threat of a bad review often leaves the retailer with <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/money/2022/jul/16/buy-now-try-later-online-clothing-sales-boom-raises-qualms-over-returns">little option</a> but to refund.</p> <p>Many retailers instead sell these returns on to liquidators, who turn the obsolete goods into fast cash. A cursory look on eBay reveals dozens of pallets of “Amazon customer returns” available to the highest bidder.</p> <h2>The challenges facing retailers</h2> <p>Both the cost of processing returns, and their increased volume, represent a challenge for retailers. The substantial reprocessing costs involved in product returns means that for fast fashion items, they often exceed the potential resale revenue. The remuneration of comparatively high-cost domestic workers within labour-intensive returns reprocessing is widely considered responsible for this. </p> <p>Getting rid of returns therefore often constitutes the most cost-effective decision. An ITV <a href="https://www.itv.com/news/2021-06-21/amazon-destroying-millions-of-items-of-unsold-stock-in-one-of-its-uk-warehouses-every-year-itv-news-investigation-finds">investigation</a> into Amazon’s Dunfermline warehouse claimed the online retailer disposed of tens of thousands of returned consumer goods each week. Amazon said none of its items went to landfill but were instead donated, recycled or incinerated for energy recovery.</p> <p>The fashion industry collectively produces <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s43017-020-0039-9.pdf">over 92 million tonnes</a> of textile waste per year. In the US alone, clothing returns <a href="https://eco-age.com/resources/tackling-the-unsustainable-rate-of-returns/">create more</a> annual carbon dioxide emissions than 3 million cars. </p> <p>Carbon dioxide is initially emitted through the collection of returns, before increasing as returns are either incinerated or deposited in landfill. Due to the prevalence of synthetic fibres in fast fashion, returns can take <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7796070/">up to 100 years</a> to fully decompose, emitting carbon dioxide and methane in the process, as well as leaching harmful substances into the surrounding soil.</p> <h2>How are retailers tackling the returns issue?</h2> <p>While the environmental implications of product returns are clear, fashion retailers also have a financial incentive to tackle the issue of costly returns management.</p> <p>Due to the complexities surrounding reprocessing, fashion retailers are increasingly outsourcing the responsibility to specialist firms, such as ReBound Returns, which work with retailers to make the returns process more sustainable. </p> <p>ReBound encourage retailers to donate returned consumer goods to charity through their ReBound Regift facility. This has so far facilitated charitable donations worth <a href="https://www.reboundreturns.com/service/regift?hsCtaTracking=8e729b68-7056-4ddd-a698-e1772cd6f777%7Cf011996e-1bad-46d8-8148-e886d482f03a">£190 million</a>. ASOS <a href="https://www.asos.com/responsible-fashion/packaging-and-delivery/6-ways-our-returns-are-more-responsible/">states</a> that 97% of their returns are now resold, and no items are sent to landfill.</p> <p>As Boohoo’s recent move shows, several online retailers have attempted to pass the cost of returns onto customers. While the reasoning for this is primarily financial, the impact of similar policies in improving customers’ environmental consciousness is well-known. Since 2015, plastic bag usage has <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/news/10p-bag-charge-turns-the-tide-on-plastic-waste">dropped 97%</a> in England’s main supermarkets, following the introduction of a small charge.</p> <p>Despite calls for greater sustainability within the fashion industry, fast fashion continues to flourish. Should marketing practices that encourage waste and fuel emissions persist, the fashion industry will retain its unwanted reputation as a significant contributor to climate change. Retailers must reconsider the unintended effects of the leniency afforded by their returns policies, balancing the need for customer retention with environmental consciousness.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/fast-fashion-why-your-online-returns-may-end-up-in-landfill-and-what-can-be-done-about-it-188090" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. </em></p>

Beauty & Style

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"This is how it's done": Big names speak out against Manly pride jersey boycott

<p>Magda Szubanski and Jesinta Franklin have led the charge of celebrity voices condemning the Manly Sea Eagles and the players boycotting the pride jersey for a charity match. </p> <p>Jesinta, wife of AFL star Buddy Franklin, weighed in on the saga as she shared a photo of her husband wearing the Sydney Swans jersey in a match against St Kilda last month. </p> <p>She simply wrote, "This is how it's done," followed by a string of rainbow hearts.</p> <p>The image Jesinta shared showed the AFL players in their pride jerseys, along with the words "Everyone is welcome at the footy!" written over the rainbow pride flag. </p> <p>Magda Szubanski also spoke out over the controversy in a series of scathing tweets, questioning the foundation of the players religious beliefs that saw them boycott the jerseys in the first place. </p> <p>She declared the seven Sea Eagles players in question, who are boycotting their team’s Thursday night clash with the Roosters, were failing to show the tolerance demanded by their religion by refusing to wear a LGBTQI+ themed jersey.</p> <p>“Thought experiment: imagine if Manly players were asked to wear stripes to let religious players &amp; fans know they are welcome,” she began.</p> <p>“Then imagine an atheist player refuses to wear the stripes coz their “belief” (based on fact) is that millions have been killed in the name of religion."</p> <p>“Religious tolerance doesn’t mean you condone or believe in the other’s religion. It means that you accept the right of difference to exist. That you support a world where people are not excluded or persecuted because of their religion. All we ask, is for the same courtesy."</p> <p>“You can’t force people to believe that homosexuality is not sinful."</p> <p>“But you can ask them to help make a tolerant society that accepts difference. Including their own.”</p> <p>Szubanski later posted bible verses which highlighted directions to show love and hospitality to “strangers” which further amplified her point of acceptable and tolerance.</p> <p>The series of tweets have racked up hundreds of likes, with many sharing how they could not understand why the Manly players were willing to sabotage their team's chance at securing a spot in the NRL finals over something as frivolous as a rainbow stripe.  </p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Instagram</em></p>

News

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“May justice be done”: Ben Roberts-Smith’s trial comes to an end

<p dir="ltr">The defamation trial launched by Ben Roberts-Smith against Nine newspapers has come to an end after four years, with Justice Anthony Besanko left with the final task of condemning or clearing the war veteran’s name.</p> <p dir="ltr">Mr Roberts-Smith’s lawyers are hoping that finding in their client’s favour will see his name cleared and result in the largest defamation payout in history, while a finding in favour of his journalist opponents could validate their claims he committed “the most heinous acts of criminality” while serving in the SAS.</p> <p dir="ltr">The lengthy case drew to a close on Wednesday after over 100 days of evidence, more than $25 million in legal fees and two weeks of closing speeches.</p> <p dir="ltr">Arthur Moses SC, Mr Roberts-Smith’s barrister, used his closing statement to push the fact that Nine had the burden of proof to prove their claims the Victoria Cross recipient had murdered unarmed prisoners, </p> <p dir="ltr">“(Nine) published allegations and stories as fact that condemned Mr Roberts-Smith as being guilty of the most heinous acts of criminality that could be made against a member of the Australian Defence Force, and indeed any citizen,” Mr Moses said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It depends upon recollection of events that occurred during missions more than 10 years ago… Recollections which are contradicted either by their own witnesses, our witnesses and Defence Force documents.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“They have urged upon the court a case which is one of mere suspicion, surmise and guesswork to condemn a man, who served his nation with great distinction, as a war criminal.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Mr Moses called on Justice Besanko to reject Nine’s case “in all forms”.</p> <p dir="ltr">Meanwhile, Nicholas Owens SC, representing Nine, closed his case by returning to the claims and counterclaims, including the question of Mr Roberts-Smith’s motive in killing six detained Afghans when he had transported hundreds of others safely back to Australia bases, which Mr Roberts-Smith said Nine had left unanswered.</p> <p dir="ltr">When he opened his case in June 2021, Mr Owens said that even “the most brutal, vile member of the Taliban imaginable” can’t be killed once detained and “to do so is murder”.</p> <p dir="ltr">On Wednesday, he returned to this point and said Mr Roberts-Smith killed the detainees simply because they were “enemy combatants”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We say that was a powerful motive that operated in relation to all of these incidents… it was a motive to kill Taliban insurgents regardless of the lawfulness of doing so,” Mr Owens told the court.</p> <p dir="ltr">Justice Besanko thanked lawyers on both sides, as well as the legal team for the Commonwealth government who had been on-hand every single day in court to keep highly classified material out of the public sphere.</p> <p dir="ltr">With the trial conducting itself in a combination of open and closed court, with sensitive information and testimonies being held in closed court, the full scope of evidence Justice Besanko must consider isn’t well-known.</p> <p dir="ltr">It is also unknown just how long it will take Justice Besanko to reach a verdict, given the sheer volume of evidence and documents, but it is expected to take many months.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-ebdbd3ac-7fff-5171-1cfa-d53402605665"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Nick McKenzie, one of the journalists Mr Roberts-Smith launched his case against, took to social media following the trial’s conclusion to summarise the claims made against Mr Roberts-Smith and call for justice to be done.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Roberts-Smith trial is now over, save for judgment. 4 years ago RS launched it. Such stress for all involved: SAS eye witnesses who accuse RS of murders/cliffkicking of innocent Afghan father, Afghans who witnessed the same, brave woman who spoke up about DV.<br />May justice be done.</p> <p>— Nick McKenzie (@Ageinvestigates) <a href="https://twitter.com/Ageinvestigates/status/1552124223669149696?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 27, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“Roberts-Smith trial is now over, save for judgement,” the <em>Age </em>journalist wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“4 years ago RS (Roberts-Smith) launched it. Such stress for all involved: SAS eye witnesses who accuse RS of murders/kicking of innocent Afghan father, Afghans who witnessed the same, brave woman who spoke up about (domestic violence).</p> <p dir="ltr">“May justice be done.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-66f1c50f-7fff-6c69-c33f-cb92127519d5"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

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