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Is there anything good about menopause? Yep, here are 4 things to look forward to

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yvonne-middlewick-1395795">Yvonne Middlewick</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a></em></p> <p>Menopause is having a bit of <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/13675494231159562">a moment</a>, with less stigma and more awareness about the changes it can bring.</p> <p>A recent senate inquiry <a href="https://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Committees/Senate/Community_Affairs/Menopause/Report">recommended</a> public education about perimenopause and menopause, more affordable treatments and flexible work arrangements.</p> <p>But like many things in life the experiences of menopause are on a continuum. While some women find it challenging and require support, others experience some physical and emotional benefits. These are rarely reported – but we can learn from the research available and, importantly, from people’s lived experiences.</p> <p>Here are four changes to look forward to once you reach menopause.</p> <h2>1. No more periods or related issues</h2> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/what-are-the-most-common-symptoms-of-menopause-and-which-can-hormone-therapy-treat-225174">Menopause</a> is considered “complete” 12 months after the final period of a woman (or person assigned female at birth) who previously menstruated.</p> <p>Perhaps unsurprisingly, the benefit at the top of the list is no more periods (unless you are taking hormone therapy and still have your womb). This can be particularly beneficial for women who have had to manage <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/18/4/1951">erratic, unpredictable and heavy bleeding</a>.</p> <p>At last, you don’t need to keep sanitary protection in every bag “just in case”. No more planning where the bathroom is or having to take extra clothes. And you’ll save money by not purchasing sanitary products.</p> <p>There is also good news for women who have had heavy bleeding due to uterine fibroids – common benign gynaecological tumours that affect up to 80% of women. The evidence <a href="https://journals.lww.com/menopausejournal/abstract/2020/02000/uterine_fibroids_in_menopause_and_perimenopause.17.aspx">suggests</a> hormonal changes (for women not taking hormone therapy) can lead to a reduction in the size of fibroids and relieve symptoms.</p> <p>Women who suffer from menstrual migraine may experience an improvement in migraines post-menopause as their hormonal fluctuations begin to settle – but the timeframe for this <a href="https://www.maturitas.org/article/S0378-5122(20)30329-7/abstract">remains unclear</a>.</p> <p>For some women, no more periods also means more participation in social activities from which they may have been excluded due to periods. For example, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08952841.2014.954502">religious activities or food preparation</a> in some cultures.</p> <h2>2. Getting your body and your groove back</h2> <p>Throughout their reproductive lives, women in heterosexual relationships are usually the ones expected to be <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6115298/">proactive about preventing pregnancy</a>.</p> <p>Some post-menopausal women <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08952841.2018.1396783">describe</a> a re-emergence of their sexuality and a sense of sexual freedom that they had not previously experienced (despite contraceptive availability) as there is no longer a risk of pregnancy.</p> <p>A participant in my research <a href="https://eprints.soton.ac.uk/451254/">into women’s experiences of menopause</a> described the joy of no longer being child-bearing age:</p> <blockquote> <p>I’ve got a body back for me, you know, coz I can’t get pregnant, not that I haven’t enjoyed having [children] and things like that and it was a decision to get pregnant but I feel like, ooh my body isn’t for anybody now but me, people, you know?</p> </blockquote> <p>For women who have chosen to be child-free there may also be a sense of freedom from social expectations. People will likely stop asking them when they are planning to have children.</p> <h2>3. A new chapter and a time to focus on yourself</h2> <p>Another participant <a href="https://eprints.soton.ac.uk/451254/">described</a> menopause as an unexpected “acceleration point” for change.</p> <p>Women told us they were more accepting of themselves and their needs rather than being focused on the needs of other people. Researchers have previously <a href="https://sk.sagepub.com/books/individualization">tracked this shift</a> from “living for others” to “a life of one’s own”.</p> <p>Some women find the strength of emotions at this time a challenge, whereas others find their potency can <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/3290605.3300710">facilitate liberation</a> – enabling them to speak their minds or be more assertive than at any other time in their lives.</p> <h2>4. Increased self-confidence</h2> <p>A new sense of liberation can fuel increased self-confidence at menopause. This has been <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/3290605.3300710">reported</a> in studies based on in-depth <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/0167482X.2016.1270937">interviews with women</a>.</p> <p>Confidence boosts can coincide with <a href="https://eprints.soton.ac.uk/451254/">changes in career and sometimes in relationships</a> as priorities and self-advocacy transform.</p> <h2>Life on the other side</h2> <p>It can be hard to think about what is good about menopause, particularly if you are having challenges during perimenopause – but these can get better with time.</p> <p>In <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6910086/">cultures where women are valued as they become older</a>, women describe themselves as positively contributing to the community. They find they gain power and respect as they age.</p> <p>We need to work towards more positive societal attitudes on this front. Our bodies change across the lifespan and are remarkable at every stage, including menopause.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239725/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yvonne-middlewick-1395795">Yvonne Middlewick</a>, Nurse, Lecturer &amp; Director of Post-graduate Studies in the School of Nursing and Midwifery, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-there-anything-good-about-menopause-yep-here-are-4-things-to-look-forward-to-239725">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Body

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"One step forward, two steps back": Joh Griggs reveals debilitating health battle

<p>Johanna Griggs has revealed how she overcame a debilitating health struggle that threatened to derail her career as a teenager. </p> <p>The former swimming champion won her first medal at the Commonwealth Games in 1990 at 16 years of age, but just one year later, her world changed forever. </p> <p>In a new interview with <em>Prevention magazine</em>, the <em>Better Homes & Gardens</em> host admitted that being diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome at the young age of 17 was a blow, but one she ultimately felt “thankful” for.</p> <p>“You learn more about yourself during a tough period than you do during a great one,” she said.</p> <p>“One of the most important things that it taught me was to be able to be by myself and to be comfortable in my own skin.”</p> <p>With her swimming career on pause, Joh shared that the next few years were “one step forward, two steps back”.</p> <p>As a teenager, she learned the power of positive self-belief while learning what was best for her body as she worked her way back to physical and emotional strength.</p> <p>“It’s asking yourself, ‘Can you put your head on the pillow and know in your heart of hearts you’ve done everything within your power that day to get better?’,” she said of that time in her life.</p> <p>“But also, not beating yourself up on it, just working out what was working (and) what wasn’t working.”</p> <p>Over the next two and a half years, Johanna was on a highly restricted diet to combat her health issues, one that was “wheat-free, yeast-free, egg-free, malt-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, herb-free, spice-free, caffeine-free”.</p> <p>Eventually she was able to return to the pool, although she faced further setbacks, including a bout of pleurisy that landed her in hospital.</p> <p>By 1993, she was back at the top of her game, taking out the win for the 50m backstroke at the Australian Swimming Championships.</p> <p>Riding this high, Johanna decided her swimming career was over.</p> <p>“For me, it was a massive milestone to get to say I could be the best, but I also knew when I hit that (pool) wall, I did not want to keep living like that,” she said.</p> <p>“I told my mum I was retiring that night and remember her voice going up a couple of octaves higher than normal.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Instagram </em></p>

Body

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"Come forward": Young girl's message to driver who ran her over

<p>Perth student Alexis Lloyd has shared a message to the person who ran her over, leaving her with serious injuries. </p> <p>The 12-year-old was hit by a car at a pedestrian crossing outside Willetton Senior High School last Tuesday, with the driver speeding away from the scene. </p> <p>Alexis will spend at least six weeks in a wheelchair after suffering a broken leg and collarbone in the hit-and-run incident, as she has pleaded with the driver to make themselves known to police. </p> <p>“I just wanted to say you should come forward and not keep hiding because the police are going to find you eventually,” Alexis told <a href="https://7news.com.au/news/perth/perth-student-alexis-lloyd-delivers-message-to-driver-who-ran-her-down-outside-willetton-senior-high-school-c-11165198" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>7News</em></a>.</p> <p>The Year 7 student said the incident “happened really fast”.</p> <p>“I just remember the lollipop man blowing the whistle, and then I walked out, and then the car just kinda came,” she said.</p> <p>“Next thing I knew, I was just laying on the floor.”</p> <p>Alexis spent five nights in the Perth Children's Hospital before being discharged on Sunday to continue her long recovery at home. </p> <p>Almost a week on and police are still working to track down the white Suzuki Baleno that struck Alexis, which is proving to be difficult as police do not have a registration plate to work with.</p> <p>Alexis’s mum Tory Carter previously shared her frustration that the driver had not made contact with police.</p> <p>“It’s hard to fathom that someone would collide with a child and not stop,” she said last week.</p> <p>“I understand sometimes people might panic in the moment but it’s a bit disheartening that it’s been almost three days and nobody’s come forward.”</p> <p>Anyone who saw the crash on Tuesday June 27th at around 8:30am, or has any information about the incident, should contact Crime Stoppers.</p> <p><em>Image credits: 7News</em></p>

Legal

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Subway puts its best footlong forward with a cheeky new ad

<p> It’s no secret that sandwich giant Subway has copped its fair share of criticism over the size and value of its famous subs. </p> <p>And while it has addressed issues with <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/food-wine/subway-falls-a-foot-short-for-one-customer" target="_blank" rel="noopener">its faux-footlongs</a> in the past, the company has opted for a bolder approach with its latest marketing strategy. </p> <p>In a series of billboards being rolled out across Australia, Subway has taken a stand against its naysayers and competitors, releasing an image of its iconic footlongs alongside three familiar burgers with the caption “Yep, our footlongs are really that big.” </p> <p>The burgers haven’t been formally identified, but anyone who’s so much as stepped into a Maccas would have no trouble recognising the chain’s signature burger, the Big Mac. Additionally, the campaign seems to have included the most popular burgers from the likes of KFC and Hungry Jacks as well. </p> <p>As to why Subway have taken this new approach, Australia and New Zealand’s head of marketing, Rodica Titeica, referenced the cost of living crisis striking people across both regions, noting that “with cost-of-living pressures increasing, we know just how important ‘value for money’ is to Aussies.</p> <p>“That’s why the iconic Subway footlong continues to represent indisputable value that is not only convenient but also a guilt-free, better-for-you food option.”</p> <p>Typically, Subway’s ‘meatball melt’ sandwich comes in at just under $15. Meanwhile, a single Big Mac sits at around the $7.50 price mark. </p> <p>This isn’t the first daring campaign that the company has tried, having recently joined forces with Smith’s chips for three new flavours inspired by Subway’s sandwiches. </p> <p>Fan favourites won out, seeing the likes of ‘Crinkle Chicken Teriyaki Sub’, ‘Crinkle Meatball Sub’, and ‘Crinkle Pizza Sub’ hit supermarket shelves across Australia. </p> <p>And in 2022, Subway dipped into the bustling billboard realm with an interactive 3D sign in London, England. This one left its competitors alone, instead allowing audiences to create their very own sandwich on the screen. </p> <p>Scattered throughout the crowd at the 2022 display were Subway ambassadors, who were hard at work delivering people their deliciously unique creations. </p> <p>“Embracing new technologies and pioneering ways to interact with audiences is always exciting,” said Dom Goldman, Chief Creative Officer of the company who created the campaign, Above+Beyond. “We’ve seen many great 3D billboards, but creating a fully interactive screen with fulfilment baked in is a first.”</p> <p>“This is a first in marketing, trying to find new ways to reach Subway fans and give them a chance to enjoy their Sub just the way they want,” Head of Marketing for Subway UK &amp; Ireland Angie Gosal explained, “Subway always puts customers first and this campaign is another example of this.”</p> <p><em>Images: Shutterstock</em></p>

Food & Wine

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Competitors put their best paw forward on the final day of Crufts

<p>Over 19,000 dogs from across the globe made their way to the NEC in Birmingham for four days of competition, each hoping to go home with the Crufts Best In Show trophy tucked between their paws. </p> <p>Over the course of the prestigious event - which began in 1891 - the dogs undergo intense grooming sessions, demonstrate their agility, show off their obedience skill, and more. </p> <p>And this year, a four-year-old Orca made history, becoming the first dog of her breed to take the top honour. </p> <p>Orca is a lagotta romagnolo, a breed that The Kennel Club describes as being “lively and affectionate”, as well as boasting an impressive and “unique talent” for hunting truffles with their heightened sense of smell.  </p> <p>Orca’s human handler, otherwise known as Javier Gonzalez Mendikote, had to drive for 25 hours to get the pair to the show, though it seems every minute of the trip was worth it - to both of them. </p> <p>Of their reception back home, Javier felt strongly that they would be pleased, stating that he was “sure we will have a huge party.”</p> <p>One that it seems Orca will be more than happy about - like, it seems, all things in her life - with the audience informed that she “never stops wagging” her tail. </p> <p>As Ante Lucin, one of Orca’s owners, put it, “she is a little superstar, but this is beyond all expectations. I was crying too much watching from the seats, it was very emotional. </p> <p>“Orca is everything you could ever want in a dog, she is happy and healthy.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">What a winner! Orca the Lagotto Romagnolo is your 2023 <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Crufts?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Crufts</a> Best in Show!🐶🏆💚 <a href="https://t.co/oVldA3oR3Y">pic.twitter.com/oVldA3oR3Y</a></p> <p>— Crufts (@Crufts) <a href="https://twitter.com/Crufts/status/1635022538312138753?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 12, 2023</a></p></blockquote> <p>Javier went on to stress his belief that Orca’s win is “really important” for her breed, especially as it increases in popularity across both the UK and the US. </p> <p>Although Orca was crowned Best In Show, her success wasn’t limited to that one award. The curly-coated canine also won in the gundog group - one of seven categories in the 2023 competition, this one evaluating dogs that were originally trained in finding live game. </p> <p>An honourable mention, of course, goes to the Channel 4 People’s Vote winner - an Irish wolfhound called Paris, whose owner is Chris Amoo, lead singer of The Real Thing. </p> <p>The show’s manager, Vanessa McAlpine, was pleased with the year’s events, declaring it to be “triumphant”.</p> <p>“Congratulations to Orca, who helped end this year’s competition on a real high, taking the coveted best in show award alongside her handler, Javier,” she said. “The pair were very deserving winners and it was clear to see their strong relationship together in the ring.” </p> <p><em>Images: Getty </em></p>

Family & Pets

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How to use reminiscing as a way of moving your health forward

<p> </p> <p>Whenever people think about moving their health forward, it’s not uncommon for them to do so by thinking about how physically active they are. And that’s good! Thinking seriously about the level and frequency of physical activity is worthwhile because it’s hugely important for healthy ageing.</p> <p>But sometimes people struggle to find forms of physical activity that they really enjoy and feel excited about pursuing. They might have the will but lack the ideas.</p> <p>Then, when people are a bit older, the issue becomes more physical. Again, they might have the will, but there might be challenges posed by injury or illness.   </p> <p>The more I’ve researched the science of physical activity and healthy ageing, the more convinced I’ve become that memory has an important part to play in enhancing our physical and mental health. Let me explain…</p> <p><strong>Our physical activities stay with us</strong></p> <p>It has long been known that some of our strongest and most positive memories are those related to sport and recreation experiences. Why? Because they tend to be multi-sensory in nature – involving sight, sound, and touch – which gives them a stronger memory trace. They also tend to be linked to exciting activities and events, which make them easier to retrieve.  </p> <p>Recently, health care professionals have been able to make good use of such memories, especially for people living with dementia. As dementia affects short-term memory more than long-term memory, it is still possible to recall and relive experiences that are long past…particularly sports-based memories.</p> <p><strong>Back to the footy</strong></p> <p>The power of such memories was recently studied for 16 older adults living with dementia. The researchers wanted to know if recalling and reliving past sporting experiences could positively impact residents’ quality of life and social functioning.</p> <p>It was found they could. Over 3 weeks, the residents met twice a week (for 60-minutes) to recall and share memoires of supporting their local football team. As a result of sharing their stories, the residents became more animated, spoke more fluently, showed more engaged social behaviours, and reported an improved quality of life.    </p> <p>Whilst further research is being conducted, reminiscence therapy appears to be a simple, cost-effective way to enhance the life experience of older adults.</p> <p><strong>Looking backwards to look forwards</strong></p> <p>Reminiscing on the past can be helpful in other ways too. Think about people in their 30s, 40s and 50s who are finding it difficult to establish a regular pattern of physical activity and exercise. This is a common problem, a part of which can be identifying enjoyable forms of physical activity…things people will feel motivated to do. </p> <p>Here’s where reminiscence can also prove to be useful. I recently interviewed five adults in their 40s and 50s about their return to physical activity and exercise. In each case, many of their happiest and most vivid memories involved the physical pursuits of their youth. As it turned out, these early experiences were also important for inspiring an improvement in their health through an increase in physically activity. </p> <p>This makes personal memories a great place to start. Thinking back to earlier times and the things we used to love doing. But not just thinking about it…doing things that help to bring those experiences to life a bit. Finding old photos, watching videos, looking at memorabilia, and/or meeting up and talking to old teammates and friends.</p> <p><strong>Reminiscence as a pathway to better health </strong></p> <p>Reminiscing in this way has the potential to inspire health change. It can help to generate ideas about how we might get moving and keep moving. Whilst that might involve doing something ‘old’ (a physical pursuit we’ve enjoyed in the past), it might also involve doing something we’ve never, ever tried before (and always wanted to try).</p> <p>Using our ability to remember and reminisce is helpful for motivation. By generating some inspiration from within ourselves, it can provide a natural source of energy that helps us out of bed in the morning and get us out the door, without needing to think about it too much!   </p> <p><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/06/spence-book.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p><em>Image: Supplied</em></p> <p><em><span lang="EN-US">Dr Gordon Spence, author of Get Moving. Keep Moving, is a highly sought-after speaker, coach, educator and author who helps clients to live well and perform well. A psychologist and exercise scientist, Gordon’s areas of expertise are sustainable performance and healthy ageing, with a particular interest in people returning to exercise in mid-life. For more information visit </span><a href="http://www.healthyageingproject.com/"><span lang="EN-US">www.healthyageingproject.com</span></a></em><span lang="EN-US"><em> </em></span></p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p> <p> </p>

Caring

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Rebel Wilson comes forward about sexual harassment

<p>Rebel Wilson has claimed a former male co-star sexually harassed her and then attempted to “destroy” her career.</p> <p>She claims the unnamed man “called me into a room and pulled down his pants” and then, in front of his friends, asked her to perform a lewd act.</p> <p>“It was awful and disgusting,” the 42-year-old she said, opting not to reveal his name or even what film it was.</p> <p>“And all the behaviour afterwards — this was all before #MeToo — where they kind of tried to destroy me and my career. If it had happened after #MeToo, then I could have just blasted them.”</p> <p>The actress, who has a law degree from the University of New South Wales, did what she could to document the incident for legal purposes and immediately called her representatives.</p> <p>“I got certain things in writing about what happened,” she said. “Definitely among industry circles, I made sure people knew what happened.”</p> <p>Rebel she should have left the movie when it happened, admitting that staying “wasn’t worth it.”</p> <p>“But at the same time, I was like, ‘Oh well, do the right thing, be a professional and finish the movie.’ Now I would never do that,” she explained.</p> <p>“I thought even complaining to my agency was a big step. And to complain to the studio. I found out I was like the fourth person to complain about the guy. Such gross behaviour, but a lot of women have had it way worse.”</p> <p>Wilson also said she would stand up for herself “even more” if something similar happened today.</p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Legal

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Unclaimed riches: FIVE lottery winners in the past five weeks yet to come forward

<p>Sydney residents are being urged to check any unclaimed lotto tickets as an $11million winning ticket remains at large. </p> <p>One lucky Aussie purchased the ticket for Tuesday's Oz Lotto draw at a a Newsagency in the south Sydney suburb of Rosebery, and have yet to claim their winnings.</p> <p>The ticket holder managed to nab the <span>only division one winning entry in draw 1435, securing themselves the entire jackpot prize of $11,002,697.57.</span></p> <p><span>However, the ticket purchase wasn't registered to a player card, so lottery officials have no way of contacting them. </span></p> <p class="css-1316j2p-StyledParagraph e4e0a020">Rosebery North Newsagency manager Min Chai said the win was “so exciting for us and our community”.</p> <p><span>“It’s incredible to see one of our customers walk away with such a massive prize,” he added.</span></p> <p><span>Lauren Cooney, a spokesperson for Lotto Australia, has urged all customers who bought a ticket from the store to check their tickets as soon as possible. </span></p> <p><span>She also </span>said, <span>“We’re certainly hoping to hear from Sydney’s latest multi-millionaire very soon.”</span></p> <p><span>The draw’s winning numbers were 35, 15, 44, 5, 18, 32 and 38, while the supplementary numbers were 42 and 16.</span></p> <p><span>This large unclaimed prize is the fifth winning ticket that remains at large this week. </span></p> <p><span>Other prizes still to be claimed range between $700,000 and $2million, as Sydney-siders are urged to check any tickets that are not registered to player cards. </span></p> <p><span>The suburbs the tickets were purchased in are West Ryde, Mount Hutton, Randwick, Werrington and the $11million ticket from Rosebery.</span></p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

Money & Banking

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Farmer Wants a Wife contestant comes forward about bombshell pregnancy

<p dir="ltr">A contestant from 2021’s season of <em>Farmer Wants a Wife</em> has revealed behind-the-scenes details about the bombshell pregnancy rumours surrounding the popular Channel 7 program.</p> <p dir="ltr">Hayley Love has alleged to News.com.au that she is indeed pregnant with Farmer Will Dwyer’s child.</p> <p dir="ltr">Hayley, 25, said she and 39-year-old sheep and cattle farmer Will struck up a relationship shortly after the show wrapped up filming its finale in December.</p> <p dir="ltr">The contestant appeared on the show as one of the pool contestants who was vying for Farmer Matt Trewin’s love.</p> <p dir="ltr">It is understood they ended their romance in April after Hayley told Will she was pregnant.</p> <p dir="ltr">Farmer Will chose contestant Jaimee as his final pick in the finale which aired last week.</p> <p dir="ltr"><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7842741/farmer-wants-a-wife-2.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/d4ac203ef7e34b459ef315bbeb7f4030" /></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Will chose Jaimee. Image: Channel 7</em></p> <p dir="ltr">Hayley had been sent home earlier in the week by Farmer Matt, who chose to stay with Tara.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I am 22 weeks pregnant with Farmer Will’s child,” Hayley wrote in the statement.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I started my relationship with Farmer Will in December, before the reunion episode was filmed a few weeks later in January. He told me he wasn’t with Jaimee and Jaimee was in contact with me before the reunion.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We’d started chatting online. (Then) I visited him at his house in Longwood and when our sexual relationship started. He told me he had feelings for me and I had feelings for him. From there, I saw him as often as I could, staying at his house for a few days at a time.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I started my relationship with Farmer Will in December, before the reunion episode was filmed a few weeks later in January. He told me he wasn’t with Jaimee and Jaimee was in contact with me before the reunion.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We’d started chatting online. (Then) I visited him at his house in Longwood and when our sexual relationship started. He told me he had feelings for me and I had feelings for him. From there, I saw him as often as I could, staying at his house for a few days at a time.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Hayley went on to say she could not deny her feelings for Will and found it difficult to stay away from him.</p> <p dir="ltr">“You must remember we went on this television show to find love. I thought I could have that with him,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">Hayley claimed that another woman allegedly contacted her on Instagram to confess her feelings for Will.</p> <p dir="ltr">It was then, she says, she made the decision to end things.</p> <p dir="ltr">“On the 2nd April I left his house thinking, ‘I’m never coming back, I’m done.’ The next morning I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant. I was terrified to tell him,” Hayley wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">She went on to say she was surprised by Will’s reaction to the pregnancy.</p> <p dir="ltr"><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7842742/farmer-wants-a-wife-3.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/ff05a0a24e514e978364f41a4fa9b1bc" /></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Channel 7</em></p> <p dir="ltr">“It was a very quick phone call where he said ‘Yeah well we kinda knew that you were pregnant’. I said ‘no worries, I just thought you should know’,” Hayley wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I’ve tried to keep things amicable with him, to be clear on what his involvement with our child will be. I’ve asked him to do all the appointments and he did come to the ultrasound.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“At the end of the day I have decided to keep the baby because I have enough love for this child with or without a biological father. I will be enough for him or her.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Hayley has also revealed why she decided to come forward and share her story: “I am speaking my truth before it gets misconstrued by the public and tabloids who don’t know the full story.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“This is my story to tell.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Farmer Will had been posting about his reality TV experience on Instagram and tagging 32-year-old paediatric nurse Jaimee.</p> <p dir="ltr">Since the finale has aired, he hasn’t shared any more posts with Jaimee.</p>

Relationships

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Pete Evans puts forward “hugging” and “self-love” as "the best vaccine in the world"

<p><span>Celebrity chef Pete Evans has suggested that “hugging” and “self-love” could be "the best vaccine in the world" during an interview with an anti-vaxxer political candidate.</span><br /><br /><span>The former My Kitchen Rules judge spoke candidly with Allona Lahn, a Sunshine Coast candidate in the Queensland state election for the Informed Medical Options Party, in a controversial interview last week.</span><br /><br /><span>Ms Lahn’s is a self-described “natural health advocate and freedom of choice ambassador” who believes “it is time to investigate Australia’s mass drugging agenda with vaccination and fluoride being first and foremost,” as per her website.</span><br /><br /><span>The pair discussed a wide range of controversial topics, including COVID-19, vaccination, home schooling and politics. </span><br /><br /><span>He kicked off the interview by sharing an experience he had while walking his dog, saying that along his trek, he saw a mobile vet van that advertised microchipping and vaccinations.</span><br /><br /><span>“It’s so fascinating when you see it’s right in our faces,” he said.</span><br /><br /><span>“They talk about ‘microchipping will never happen’ (but) they’re doing it to our pets.”</span><br /><br /><span>The two also openly discussed the “insanity” surrounding a potential COVID-19 vaccine. </span><br /><br /><span>Evans went on to claim that he had spoken with “so many experts around the world” who told him the coronavirus crisis was over.</span><br /><br /><span>“If people want to have a vaccine then so be it. That’s their prerogative, it’s their choice,” he said.</span><br /><br /><span>“And if other people don’t want to have a vaccine then that’s their choice too.</span><br /><br /><span>“The insanity about a COVID-19 vaccine, I mean, I’ve spoke with so many experts from around the world — they’re all basically saying it’s gone now, it’s done, it’s finished.</span><br /><br /><span>“Anybody that doesn’t believe that it’s finished is insane or they have an agenda, because next year another virus or another form of whatever it will be will travel the world again.</span><br /><br /><span>“It won’t be COVID-19, they’ll make up some other f...ing name, excuse my language.</span><br /><br /><span>“I’ve heard that they’re calling it COVID-21 next.”</span><br /><br /><span>Ms Lahn told the chef that his theories “resonated with her”.</span><br /><br /><span>Evans also took aim at Australian political leaders such as Prime Minister Scott Morrison and Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews, saying the political system was “crumbling under its own weight”.</span><br /><br /><span>“The system is corrupt. Every single which way you look at it.”</span><br /><br /><span>He also highlighted the ICAC hearings in New South Wales, and used the turmoil surrounding the Victorian government as an argument - saying politics in general is “a sh..show” and saying “they are clowns without a ringleader”.</span><br /><br /><span>“They’re actors on a stage, and very bad ones at that. They don’t even know their lines.”</span><br /><br /><span>The TV star also went on to say that politicians and public figures such as billionaire philanthropist Bill Gates are not the vaccination experts they claim to be.</span><br /><br /><span>“Maybe these experts know that there are other options out there rather than mandatory vaccines,” he said.</span><br /><br /><span>“Maybe sunlight could be the best vaccine in the world. Maybe good nutrition could be the best vaccine in the world.</span><br /><br /><span>“Maybe self-love, maybe hugging and connecting to other human beings and looking at different points of view could be the best vaccine in the world for our community moving forward.”</span></p>

Body

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The state removal of Māori children from their families is a wound that won’t heal – but there is a way forward

<p>Too many New Zealand children are born into a state of crisis, as two recent and damning reports have shown.</p> <p>The <a href="https://whanauora.nz/assets/6f126cc001/ORANGA-TAMARIKI-REVIEW-REPORT.pdf">Māori Inquiry into Oranga Tamariki</a> (Ministry for Children) was one of five inquiries launched after a media <a href="https://www.newsroom.co.nz/investigations/2019/06/11/629363/nzs-own-taken-generation">investigation</a> into the attempted “uplift” of a newborn baby from its mother at a maternity ward in May 2019. The inquiry report stated:</p> <p><em>The event … not only sparked national outrage from Māori, but disclosed a controversial and decades old state policy and practice that has had devastating intergenerational impacts that have left our communities with deep emotional scars.</em></p> <p>Another <a href="https://www.occ.org.nz/assets/Uploads/TKTM-JUNE2020-Final.pdf">report</a> from the Office of the Children’s Commissioner details the experiences of Māori mothers of newborns involved with Oranga Tamariki. Children’s Commissioner Judge Andrew Becroft wrote:</p> <p><em>These personal stories … are a silent testimony to the long-term inequities that Māori have suffered under Aotearoa New Zealand’s care and protection system.</em></p> <p>Oranga Tamariki chief executive Grainne Moss <a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&amp;objectid=12337954">hit back</a> by saying the children’s commissioner’s report was ignoring the interests of babies.</p> <p>Today Newsroom launches a harrowing new video story by investigations editor Melanie Reid into the attempted ‘uplift’ of a newborn baby from its mother by Oranga Tamariki. Full video available here: <a href="https://t.co/u66NY18Rw1">https://bit.ly/2XEIgNo </a></p> <p>The current storm rages, in part, around the protection of children and their rights. With the <a href="https://www.abuseincare.org.nz/">Royal Commission of Inquiry into Historical Abuse in State Care</a> due to deliver its own interim report this year, we need to ask: what are those rights, and might a better understanding of them provide a way out of this impasse?</p> <p><strong>Children’s rights are linked to parents’ rights</strong></p> <p>Part of the answer can be found in the <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">UN Convention on the Rights of the Child 1989</a>. Aotearoa-New Zealand accepted this treaty in 1993 and it informs the work of the <a href="http://www.legislation.govt.nz/act/public/2003/0121/latest/DLM230435.html">children’s commissioner</a>. For tamariki Māori, the convention is important because it was the first global human rights treaty to refer to the rights of indigenous children.</p> <p>Perhaps controversially, the convention <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">requires</a> states to respect parents’ rights and responsibilities – and, where relevant, the extended family or community. This counters a common criticism that by focusing on children’s rights we diminish the rights of parents and families.</p> <p>As far as possible, children have the <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">right</a> to know and be cared for by their parents. It is parents who have the <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">primary responsibility</a> for the upbringing and development of their children.</p> <p>The convention also <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">states</a> that the family is “the fundamental group of society” and the child <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">should grow up in a family environment</a>. Cultural values are <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">important</a> for “the protection and harmonious development of the child”.</p> <p>Most importantly in the current debate, the convention provides clear guidance on the removal of children from their families:</p> <ul> <li><a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">involuntary separation</a> is to be avoided, unless it is in the child’s best interests</li> <li>states must protect the child from <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">all forms of violence, abuse or neglect</a></li> <li>where children must be placed into care, the child’s <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/professionalinterest/pages/crc.aspx">ethnic and cultural background</a> must be considered</li> <li>as indigenous children, tamariki Māori themselves must have access to <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">culturally appropriate services</a>.</li> </ul> <p>Each of these considerations is subject to <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">four guiding principles</a>:</p> <ul> <li>the convention <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">prohibits discrimination</a> of any kind, a provision that is <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">particularly</a> important in the current debate</li> <li>the <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">best interests of the child</a> should govern all decisions relating to children – for indigenous children, this must take into account their <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">collective cultural rights</a></li> <li>the child has the <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">right to life</a> and states must do all that they can to ensure the <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">survival and development</a> of the child – for indigenous children, this means their <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">high mortality rates</a> must be addressed and culturally appropriate material assistance and support programs <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">provided</a> to parents and others</li> <li>the child has a <a href="http://docstore.ohchr.org/SelfServices/FilesHandler.ashx?enc=6QkG1d%2fPPRiCAqhKb7yhsiQql8gX5Zxh0cQqSRzx6Zd2%2fQRsDnCTcaruSeZhPr2vUevjbn6t6GSi1fheVp%2bj5HTLU2Ub%2fPZZtQWn0jExFVnWuhiBbqgAj0dWBoFGbK0c">right to be heard</a> in all proceedings affecting them. They have an individual right to express their opinion, and children as a societal group must be heard. The state must design <a href="https://www2.ohchr.org/english/bodies/crc/docs/CRC.GC.C.11.pdf">special strategies</a> to ensure the voices of indigenous children are heard.</li> </ul> <p>This report shares consistent and heart-breaking whānau experiences, supported by data and historical analysis, showing there are deep systemic issues facing the statutory care and protection system. Read the full report: <a href="https://t.co/jwPmgYHBYU">https://www.occ.org.nz/publications/reports/te-kuku-o-te-manawa/ …</a></p> <p><strong>The forcible removal of children is covered by the UN</strong></p> <p>Alongside the children’s rights convention lies the <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">United Nations Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples 2007</a>, which Aotearoa-New Zealand endorsed in 2010. This specifically recognises the rights of indigenous families and communities to retain <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">shared responsibility</a> for the upbringing and well-being of their children. The exercise of that responsibility is to be consistent with the rights of the child.</p> <p>The declaration also prohibits the <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">forcible removal</a> of children from one group to another. While this has tended to relate to historic state policies to remove indigenous children from their communities, it clearly resonates with recent events.</p> <p>The declaration also states that the <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">economic and social conditions of children</a> must be improved. Notably, states must protect children from all forms of <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">violence and discrimination</a>. These considerations overlap with the declaration’s wider objectives, such as the <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">right to self-determination</a>, the <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">right to self-government</a> and the importance of <a href="https://www.un.org/development/desa/indigenouspeoples/wp-content/uploads/sites/19/2018/11/UNDRIP_E_web.pdf">free, prior and informed consent</a> on matters that affect indigenous people.</p> <p>At the heart of these documents is a simple message: children have rights. The best interests of the child must inform any decision that affects those rights. And the decision must be made in an impartial and transparent manner.</p> <p>Future reports will inevitably catalogue further violations of children’s rights. Identifying these violations is one thing; strategies to ensure they do not happen again are another. The Convention on the Rights of the Child and the Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples must play a central role.</p> <p><em>Written by Claire Breen. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-state-removal-of-maori-children-from-their-families-is-a-wound-that-wont-heal-but-there-is-a-way-forward-140243">The Conversation</a>. </em></p> <p><em> </em></p>

Caring

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Counting the costs of caregiving: Is there a better way forward?

<p><em><strong>Leah Ruppanner, Lecturer in Sociology, University of Melbourne and Georgiana Bostean, Assistant Professor of Environmental Science, Health and Policy, Chapman University, count the costs of caregiving.</strong></em></p> <p>In Australia, the question of how to provide care for ageing family members is largely an individual one. Most care is provided by family members. In 2012, 2.7 million Australians were <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/mf/4430.0" target="_blank">providing</a></strong></span> some type of informal (unpaid) family caregiving. Some are “sandwiched”, caring for children and older adults simultaneously. Yet caregiving is not shouldered equally by the entire population: women and minorities are much more likely to provide care.</p> <p>Those with <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/5968BE956901DD79CA257D57001F4D89?opendocument" target="_blank">disabilities themselves</a></strong></span> are also more likely to be primary dependent carers in Australia. These families are shouldering a high level of carework.</p> <p>Finally, moving family members into the home is often motivated by the <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/12524494B6372EDFCA257D57001FA8C7?opendocument" target="_blank">poor quality of paid care</a></strong></span>. This suggests that there are limited options in the market. These trends are mirrored in many countries – adult children in Europe are increasingly providing care as a substitute for formal care, and informal care is normative in the United States as well.</p> <p>All told, we have a “care-adox” in the Australia. People are living longer, yet the systems to provide care for older adults are informal and inadequate.</p> <p>Because family caregiving is embedded within broader family experiences, the answers to the social, political and ethical questions that caregiving raises are not simple. Caregiving can be a rewarding experience, providing a sense of meaning and fulfilment, and improve the relationship with the care recipient. In multigenerational households, the older adult may help ease childcare burdens.</p> <p>Importantly, caregiving can be <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4614-4776-4_3#page-1" target="_blank">stressful and damaging</a></strong></span> to well-being. For example, it impairs immune function and accelerates immune system ageing. Caregiver experiences vary widely, but caregivers who experience chronic burden or stress tend to have the most severe health consequences.</p> <p><strong>The ‘coercive caregiving’ phenomenon</strong></p> <p>Research suggests that when people are expected to do something but do not have the resources to fulfil expectations, they experience health-harming role strain. Caregiving therefore should be most harmful to health when individuals are expected to provide care but lack the resources to do so effectively.</p> <p>In Australia, caregiving has historically fallen to women and ethnic minorities due to their social statuses. Individuals are thus <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://ethnicstudies.berkeley.edu/faculty/profile.php?person=6" target="_blank">“coerced” into caregiving</a></strong></span> through social norms and lack of institutional support. In these contexts, when alternate options are unavailable, women may step into caregiving roles despite lacking the support needed to fulfil those expectations.</p> <p>The gender bias in these experiences is clear. Caregiving daughters report <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8557205" target="_blank">greater depression</a></strong></span>, but this is not the case for <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16960238" target="_blank">caregiving sons</a></strong></span>. These studies suggest that coerced care can be damaging to caregivers’ well-being, particularly for female caregivers.</p> <p>We addressed these issues in our recent <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://esr.oxfordjournals.org/content/30/5/655.short" target="_blank">research</a></strong></span>. We asked whether caregivers in countries with greater societal “pressure” for informal family caregiving – in the form of strong social norms for familial care or limited public transfers for old-age programs – have lower well-being than caregivers in countries with weaker familial care norms and more old-age public transfers.</p> <p>We found substantial country variation in familial care norms – that is, people’s attitudes about whether care for ageing parents should be provided by adult children in-home. Support for familial care norms ranged from 4% in Sweden and the Netherlands to 59% in Poland and 74% in Turkey.</p> <p>Do country differences in familial care norms impact individual well-being? We expected that caregivers would report worse well-being in countries where caregiving was expected to be done in the home. We found, however, that only female caregivers suffer from stronger familial care norms.</p> <p>The extent of public transfers is also associated with female caregiver well-being. Female caregivers have worse well-being in countries with stronger norms for in-home familial care, and fewer public transfers to support ageing care.</p> <p>These findings suggest that women in countries where market or government subsidies for old-age care are not readily available may be more severely disadvantaged by caregiving responsibilities. This is consistent with previous research finding that female caregivers are more likely to be stressed, depressed, drop out of the labour force, and be sandwiched.</p> <p><strong>The way forward</strong></p> <p>That caregivers in ostensibly coercive contexts report worse well-being may reflect role strain, including a lack of financial, social, emotional or other resources.</p> <p>Consider what it takes to provide care, particularly long-term, for an older adult. In Australia, long-term care requires a complete reorganisation of a person’s family and employment patterns. With approximately 12% of the Australian population (and counting) providing care, the current system is unsustainable. As the burden of care and number of caregivers increase, so too will societal economic and health impacts.</p> <p>Middle-age adults who are beginning to experience their own health issues face compounding health effects of caregiving, leading to health problems earlier in life. This will certainly impact the health care system as the number of caregivers grows.</p> <p>But this bleak story can become one of hope. Two potential starting points include:</p> <ul> <li>Broad policies to support caregivers through paid home care, community-care services, and more equitable sharing of care work in society; and</li> <li>Facilitation of a larger discussion about the difficulties of caregiving so that we have more realistic expectations.</li> </ul> <p>Comprehensive policy changes would provide caregivers with more consistent support. Family policy and caregiving policy are intertwined, so extending family leave policies and adopting broader definitions of “family” will also address the needs of caregivers for all types of dependents.</p> <p>Caregivers provide a valuable service to their loved ones and to society. Providing support for them is a pressing social problem that demands broad policy action to break the chains of coerced care. There is no better time to begin planning for this immediate future.</p> <p>Do you agree with this advice?</p> <p><em>Written by Leah Ruppanner and Georgiana Bostean. Republished with permission of <a href="http://www.theconversation.com" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Conversation</span></strong></a>.</em><img width="1" height="1" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/33181/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-advanced" alt="The Conversation"/></p>

Caring

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Why looking forward to things is good for your mental health

<p><em><strong>Nigel Holt is a Professor of Psychology at Aberystwyth University.</strong></em></p> <p>Moving from a city to the beautiful Welsh countryside a few years ago made me acutely aware of the seasons and how they change. Most recently signs of spring have appeared in my garden over here on the Ceredigion coast. This mindfulness and awareness of the environment is difficult to explain to those whose comparable experience is confined to the bus stop and a park.</p> <p>Up until my relocation from town to country my own experience was as theirs perhaps is – a nostalgia for seasons and winters that once were. Nostalgia is not something I am comfortable with. Pining for the past will not bring it back, but my new experience of anticipation of seasons has provided a more positive approach to change that can be harnessed elsewhere. In fact, research shows it may even be useful <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103114002066?via%3Dihub" target="_blank">for our wellbeing</a></strong></span>.</p> <p>Nostalgia is a yearning, a feeling that the past was reliably better than perhaps it was, even in the simplest of ways. For example, that the theme tunes of our youth were so much better than those on TV today. Cognitive psychology <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://theconversation.com/the-psychological-benefits-and-trappings-of-nostalgia-77766" target="_blank">teaches us of biases</a></strong></span> in our information processing. One of these is <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/i-knew-it-all-along-didnt-i-understanding-hindsight-bias.html" target="_blank">hindsight bias</a></strong></span>, rose-tinted spectacles through which we view the past. The psychology is clear: our belief of what once was is heavily influenced by the narratives surrounding the memories, some of which we have never actually had, and yet we still experience a nostalgia for them.</p> <p>Anticipation, on the other hand, is an expectation of what might be, and is in many ways the inverse of nostalgia. For me, the anticipation of spring is a wonderful feeling, heralded by buds and early flowering jasmine in my garden. Anticipation is part of the fun – or much of the fun if the research is to be believed.</p> <p><strong>Looking forward</strong></p> <p>This enjoyment of the wait <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/e18d/03bea3c8dabf24205d138de5d612c56bd23a.pdf" target="_blank">does depend on</a></strong></span> what it is we are waiting for. Obviously, anticipating root canal surgery is not going to be terribly enjoyable, but anticipating events has been shown <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/anticipating-experiences-happiness-2014-8?IR=T" target="_blank">to be more enjoyable</a></strong></span> than anticipating material goods, such as a new phone. This explains why buying theatre tickets for the summer, making restaurant reservations for next Christmas, or booking a flight some months ahead can give us a feeling of positivity.</p> <p>Anticipation, savouring the wait, developing the potential of a forthcoming event like this sits within an area of research collectively known as “<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologistworld.com/emotion/psychology-of-happiness-positive-affect" target="_blank">the psychology of happiness</a></strong></span>”. You may have seen apps that countdown to holidays or other big events, designed to provide a sense of anticipation. Well, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17500652" target="_blank">research has shown</a></strong></span> that anticipation is such a strong feeling, people are <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologies.co.uk/self/life-lab-experiment-mind-2.html" target="_blank">happier in the anticipation</a></strong></span> of a holiday than in remembering the actual experience. It is anticipation that is generating this happiness, this improved feeling of wellbeing.</p> <p><strong>Fear and dread</strong></p> <p>However, fear of the unknown <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/debunking-myths-the-mind/201101/anticipatory-anxiety-the-suffering-and-solutions" target="_blank">can damage</a></strong></span> the anticipatory benefit a forthcoming event may have on our wellbeing. The anticipation of failure when we have placed such great importance on something – like a perfect holiday turning out to be a worst nightmare – can overwhelm the positive impact it may have. But by developing the anticipatory experiences – the planning, knowing where we will eat, how we will travel, the history of the place we will visit – then we can counter any of these concerns. For me at least, the resulting feeling of wellbeing also appears to offset some of the anxieties that jobs and events in the news seem to bring.</p> <p>But this <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dont-delay/200906/anticipating-ones-troubles-the-elusive-benefits-negative-expectations" target="_blank">anticipation of failure</a></strong></span> is not the same as dreading something. The negative anxiousness that some have over Brexit, for example, is different from an anticipation of it. Planning for Brexit, in whatever format it may come, can actually help offset the downward emotional spiral many of us have found ourselves in recently.</p> <p>Planning for the change, carefully working out what might be, and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201101/the-science-success-the-if-then-solution" target="_blank">how we will cope</a></strong></span> develops the anticipation and so can generate some feelings of wellbeing. The trick is to try not to let those who seem intent on bursting your anticipation bubble get their way. The summer theatre tickets are pinned to the cork board, the festival passes are on their way.</p> <p>It should be noted that the benefits of anticipation can be felt without such expense. Plan a night in with a loved one or your family. Order a takeaway and pick a film to watch together. Plan it carefully, anticipate it, savour the excitement and feel the benefits to your wellbeing. Give yourself things to look forward to and the world will seem a brighter place.</p> <p><em>Written by Nigel Holt. Republished with permission of <a href="http://theconversation.com/The%20Conversation" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>The Conversation</strong></span></a>. </em></p>

Mind

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The Aussie couple’s book Ellen DeGeneres wants to turn into a movie

<p><span>There is no doubt that Australian authors are making an impact on Hollywood.  </span></p> <p><span>Recently, Reese Witherspoon’s production company adapted Liane Moriarty’s </span><em><span>Big Little Lies</span></em><span>. The series included the likes of Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman and went on to become an Emmys winner this year. </span></p> <p><span>Melbourne author Graeme Simsion has also been gaining attention with Tri-Star optioning his bestseller </span><em><span>The Rosie Project</span></em><span>.</span></p> <p><span>His latest book, </span><em><span>Two Steps Forward</span></em><span>, co-written with his wife Anne Buist, is being pursued by Ellen DeGeneres’ production company.</span></p> <p><span>The story is set on the 780km Camino walk from France to Northern Spain, an adventure the couple have conquered twice.</span></p> <p><span>The pages reveal the thoughts of widowed American, Zoe, and recently divorced Brit, Martin.</span></p> <p><span>Anne revealed that DeGeneres' interest in the book was “a bit surreal”.</span></p> <p><span>“It would make a beautiful film. Quite aside from anything else, the scenery in France and Spain would be spectacular.”</span></p> <p><span>The novel focuses on overcoming self-doubt and Graeme describes it as a “great escapist read”.</span></p> <p><span>“You can disappear into it and feel good without having to walk further than turning the television off.”</span></p> <p><span>The duo got the idea for the book from a 19-year-old Belgian they met when they first undertook the route.</span></p> <p><span>As the walk exposed their feelings for one another, the pair knew it was important to write about characters their own age.</span></p> <p><span>“What was important for me was the affirmation of Anne and my relationship. Spending 90 days in the close company of one other person on a quite difficult quest, you know pretty quickly if your marriage is in good shape or not.”</span></p> <p><span>Anne revealed that Graeme carried a pair of high heels for her in his pack so she could wear them on her birthday in San Sebastian.</span></p> <p><span>“We went to a really great restaurant and I’ve gotta tell you, putting heels on after walking all that way is not something you want to do, so we threw them out!”</span></p>

Books

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How to move forward from grief

<p>Doing the research for my book on coping with grief, I forced myself to read countless articles from one of the field's snappily titled academic journals, <em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/loi/udst20" target="_blank">Death Studies</a></strong></span></em>. Hour after hour of reading about bereavement threatened at times to drown me. But, occasionally, I'd stumble upon an article that made all the hanging out with the Grim Reaper worth it.</p> <p>My favourite theoretical paper from <em>Death Studies</em> suggests that a healthy way to approach bereavement is to <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/07481187.2012.738767?src=recsys&amp;journalCode=udst20" target="_blank">oscillate back and forth</a></strong></span>, at times facing up to our grief while at others, avoiding thinking about it by immersing ourselves in distracting activities.</p> <p>Oscillating between approach and withdrawal allows us to recover from grief's hefty emotional toll.</p> <p>Reading this suddenly made sense of my life: how one day I could dive right in, fully experiencing and exploring the pain and the torrid emotions, but on other days, I'd run a mile – sometimes literally – rather than think about it.</p> <p><strong>Take a breather</strong></p> <p>Grieving is so exhausting we cannot keep it up without finding some form of distraction, such as activities or friends, that afford us a little relief. Provided that denial is not extreme or persistent, intermittently burying our heads in the sand is OK.</p> <p>Learning that this process of oscillation is necessary for "optimal adjustment over time" was immensely reassuring for me.</p> <p>"Coping is embedded in everyday life experience, which involves taking time off from grieving, as when watching an engrossing TV programme, reading, talking with friends about some other topic or sleeping," explain the researchers, making their article a rarity in academic journals, not usually known for advocating television-watching.</p> <p>A friend, Claire, another mother who lost a daughter, described this process as like dipping her toe in the water.</p> <p>"Some days I can get my whole foot in, other days it [the pain] is just too much," she explains.</p> <p><strong>Set your egg timer</strong></p> <p>In many ways this applies to everyday existence, too. People suffering from depression often find themselves stuck in an ongoing internal dialogue known as rumination – thoughts churn over and over in their minds as they endeavour to make sense of an earlier conversation or explain frustrating events.</p> <p>When rumination is short-lived it can be useful, helping us to organise our thoughts, work out what went wrong and how we can avoid similar situations. But when we ruminate intensely, covering the same ground over and over, it is detrimental; the human brain also needs rest from this. So, if this sounds like you, put a timer on for a minute, allow yourself that time to mull the matter over and, once the minute's up, find a distracting activity to engage in, something that will occupy your attention fully.</p> <p><strong>Get engaged</strong></p> <p>Whether it's grief, depression or just surviving the trials and tribulations of life, finding activities helps break the grip of negative thoughts, at least temporarily. But if you're struggling to find your way off the couch, take a leaf out of my friend Claire's book.</p> <p>When grief threatens to overwhelm her, she turns her attention to cleaning the teaspoon drawer.</p> <p>"It may sound odd but I tell myself… OK, you've cried now, you need to get up and do something.</p> <p>"I have come to realise that by giving myself permission to be sad and grieve, but also giving myself a reason to take me out of grief – even if all I'm doing is cleaning the crumbs from the teaspoon drawer – I've moved, and the movement switches my emotions from despondency to a purpose again."</p> <p>Approach and withdraw, approach and withdraw...Whatever it is you're dealing with, make sure you give yourself time to recover.</p> <p><em>Written by Lucy Hone. First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span></strong></a>.</em></p>

Caring

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The many reasons why you should look forward to retirement

<p>A few years ago, my mother had a bit of a crisis in the lead-up to her retirement. She struggled with her self-worth, perceived value to society and fears of boredom.</p> <p>She's not alone in her worry. The literature suggests retirees may experience the loss of identity, usefulness, sense of purpose and social relationships around work. For some people, retirement is also associated with reduced income, social exclusion and physical and mental deterioration.</p> <p>Retirement wasn't all doom and gloom for Mum. Within months of retirement, she was busy with piano practice, dance classes, choir rehearsals, painting and reading. Today she wonders how she survived decades of working. She is one of many who reap benefits from retirement.</p> <p>Our recent study, published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, followed 27,257 working Australian adults for more than three years. During this time, more than 3000 retired.</p> <p>After controlling for various confounding factors, we found those who retired were more likely to enjoy a healthier lifestyle than their counterparts who remained in the workforce.</p> <p><strong>What else did we find?</strong></p> <p>During the study period, retirees increased their physical activity by 94 minutes per week, compared with 32 minutes among non-retirees. Retirees also became less sedentary, with a reduction of 67 minutes of sitting per day, compared with 27 minutes among non-retirees.</p> <p>Retirees were also more likely to get a healthy amount of sleep. They gained 11 minutes of sleep per night while the non-retirees lost four minutes.</p> <p>Finally, half of the female smokers quit smoking after retirement, a cessation rate twice as high as working female smokers.</p> <p>Overall, our findings weren't a surprise. Several prior studies from North America and Europe found retirement was associated with more physical activity in leisure time. This is likely because retirement reduces common barriers to physical activity, such as lack of time, low energy and competing priorities.</p> <p>The reduction in sedentary time following retirement that we noted could be explained by a reduction in occupational sitting and commuting. Most office jobs involve prolonged sitting. A previous study among office, call centre and customer service employees, for instance, found an average of 77 per cent of their work time was spent in uninterrupted sitting.</p> <p>There is evidence that certain types of employees, such as those in skilled occupations, sit even more than others. This may explain why, in our study, those with higher educational attainment, people who lived in urban areas and those who worked full-time experienced the most reduction in total sitting time.</p> <p>Our finding about sleep duration is in line with a previous French study, which found people had less sleep disturbances after they retired. The mechanisms for the change are unknown, but we hypothesise that it might be due to the removal of work demands and stress, and having more time.</p> <p>Our study is the first to find that female retirees are more likely to quit smoking. Explanations may include reduced occupational stress and disposable income after retirement. Perhaps retirement also prompted smokers to rethink their lifestyles.</p> <p>The behavioural changes we observed among retirees are not trivial; they have profound effects on health and longevity. Positive lifestyle changes following retirement may therefore lead to better health down the track.</p> <p><strong>Not everyone benefits equally</strong></p> <p>Retirement doesn't benefit everyone equally. Our study showed those who retired before 65, those who worked full-time prior to retirement and those who retired voluntarily benefited more from retirement in terms of lifestyle improvement.</p> <p>This is consistent with previous research, which suggests the lifestyle changes associated with retirement transition differed by various factors, such as reasons for retirement, and pre-retirement lifestyles and circumstances.</p> <p>So retirement may not automatically lead to better health, but it presents an opportunity to engineer a healthier lifestyle.</p> <p><strong>Window of opportunity for lifestyle changes</strong></p> <p>We live in a rapidly ageing society. Globally, the number of people aged 60 years and above is expected to increase from 900 million in 2015 to two billion in 2050. In Australia, 15 per cent of the population is aged above 65 years and 40 per cent of people aged 45 years and over are retired. The health and well-being of retirees therefore plays a critical role in the health of our society.</p> <p>Retirement is a unique opportunity to interrupt previous routines and establish new habits. A number of intervention programs have been found to promote healthy lifestyles among adults around retirement age. These use various strategies from professional counselling to in-home and computer-based programs.</p> <p>Other interventions have offered an explicit social role, such as foster grandparents, mentors and volunteer works. These are promising options for health promotion among retirees, though the evidence is not yet robust.</p> <p><strong>What can you do?</strong></p> <p>Here are a few suggestions for those who are retiring soon.</p> <p><strong>1. Embrace retirement.</strong> Rather than thinking about retirement as the end of a working life, consider it as the start of life after work with new freedom, opportunities and identities.</p> <p><strong>2. Prepare for retirement ahead of time.</strong> Plan with key concepts such as health, leisure and enjoyment in mind. Pick up new hobbies, discover new passions, or reconnect with your old interests.</p> <p><strong>3. Find a new role that makes your life meaningful</strong>, whether it is a grandparent, teacher, volunteer or community organiser. Discover new identities within society, make new friends and stay connected.</p> <p>If you're not retiring in the near future, don't wait until retirement to live a healthy, enjoyable and fulfilling life. Eat well, be active, get healthy amounts of sleep and find time in your busy life to savour the moment – even just for a few minutes a day.</p> <p><em>Written by Melody Ding. First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span></strong></a>. </em></p>

Retirement Income

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