Placeholder Content Image

"Mum grew great dope": Son's hilariously honest tribute goes viral

<p>Two brothers from Sydney have made headlines around the world for their hilarious tribute to their late mother. </p> <p>Sean and Chris Kelly wrote a death notice for their mum Jennifer Ann Kelly when she passed away aged 88 on Monday last week. </p> <p>“Farewell Jennie Kelly, our wild and wayward mother,”  the notice which was posted in the Sydney Morning Herald began. </p> <p>Jennifer Ann lived most of her life outside Nimbin and The Channon in northern NSW until she moved to a nursing home in Turramurra 18 months ago. </p> <p>Her sons' tribute has triggered a call for more honesty about death as they opened up about their unconventional upbringing.</p> <p>They revealed that their mum refused to say "passed" when someone died, believed exposing youth to religion was a form of child abuse, and "it was impossible to watch the news in her presence due to her vocal outrage."</p> <p>And while the two brothers had spent most of their lives "compensating for our upbringing", their mother's "rare attempts at 'responsible' parenting or grandparenting were always touching". </p> <p>They also added: “Mum grew great dope, never wanted to leave a party and gave up champagne or gin frequently, but never simultaneously.”</p> <p>“News on what’s next to follow. Bring a shovel," they ended the notice. </p> <p>Their good-humoured grief and honesty gained global attention after it was posted on Reddit. It was also included in British outlet<em> The Independent </em>and <em>US People Magazine</em>.</p> <p>“Your mum sounds phenomenal. The amazing tribute has reached thousands of people in the UK,” one Reddit user said. </p> <p>“I wish I’d known Jenny, she sounds wonderful. Thank you for a wonderful obituary – clearly Jenny lived until she died,” added another. </p> <p>Others praised their candidness, with one saying: “[It’s] honest, as opposed to all those people who suddenly become heroes/Mother Teresa when they die.”</p> <p>In an interview with <em>7NEWS</em> Sean admitted that the unconventional obituary was a first for him. </p> <p>“I’d never done a death notice, I’d never really looked at them,” he said.</p> <p>“I swear I spent less than four minutes on that.”</p> <p>He added that he wasn't even sure it would be published, and “the next thing I knew, the day after, someone said ‘I think we heard someone on the radio talking about your mother this morning’.” </p> <p>“She would say that she was mortified, but all my friends tell me she would be absolutely delighted at the attention.”</p> <p>Jennie leaves behind her two sons and three grandchildren. </p> <p><em>Images: 7News/ SMH</em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Nick Kyrgios' honest thoughts on Shane Warne's open letter

<p>In 2015, late cricket legend Shane Warne posted an open letter Nick Kyrgios on social media, calling out the then hot-headed tennis player's fiery behaviour off-court. </p> <p>"Dear Nick, we all realise you're only 20 and have a lot to learn buddy, but please don't waste your talent," the letter began. </p> <p>"Everyone in the world, especially us Australians want to respect you. You need to respect the game of tennis and yourself. We all make mistakes.</p> <p>"You're testing our patience mate, show us what you're made of and how hungry you are to be the best in the world. It's time to step up and start winning, no excuses," he added in the scathing letter. </p> <p>"We all make mistakes. It's how we learn from them and the way we conduct ourselves when we lose that shows true character. You're testing our patience mate," he concluded. </p> <p>A then 20-year-old Kyrgios had just beat Spanish champion Rafael Nadal during the 2015 Wimbledon, but also attracted a lot of controversy after insulting Stan Wawrinka at a tournament in Montreal, Canada. </p> <p>This was a particularly difficult time in Kyrgios' career, as he was suspended for 28-days and got a $34,705 fine from the ATP.</p> <p>Since the incident, Kyrgios has managed to get his professional life back on track, and in a recent interview with Piers Morgan on his show <em>Uncensored</em>, the tennis star shared that he never read the letter. </p> <p>"I saw it and didn't read it. I'm never going to be the first one to go out on social media and put someone down," he told the host. </p> <p>He added that he believed that Warne would be proud of how far he's come. </p> <p>"I look back at that letter and at how far I've come and I'd say he would be proud for sure. I’ve had a pretty successful career. I feel I've won a lot more than I've lost." </p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

TV

Placeholder Content Image

Today Show host's honest dating life admission

<p>Brooke Boney has made an honest admission about her dating life live on-air. </p> <p><em>The Today Show</em> entertainment reporter was giving her showbiz report on Thursday morning, which featured a clip of an interview with Jennifer Aniston speaking about her own dating struggles on <em>The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon</em>.</p> <p>The Friends actress was discussing her long-running friendship with fellow movie star Adam Sandler, claiming he often weighs into her love life with the question, “What are you doing!?”, in reference to unsuitable partners.</p> <p>Brooke added her own commentary to Aniston's admission, saying, “To be fair, my friends also sometimes say that to me,” she said, before turning to <em>Today</em> host Karl Stefanovic, who echoed Aniston’s comment, “What are you doing!?”</p> <p>“I know, you’ve said that [to me] a couple of times Karlos,” she added, laughing.</p> <p>Boney's admission was surprising for many viewers, as she is notoriously protective of her private life. </p> <p>In March 2020, she revealed she has a boyfriend who was living in the UK, though never revealed his identity to her followers on social media. </p> <p>Later the same year, it was evident the pair had gone their separate ways after Boney confirmed she was single again in an ambush segment featuring her mother, Leonie, who appeared on <em>Today</em> talking about how she wanted her daughter to date a “decent bloke”.</p> <p>Following her break-up, which she revealed was several years long, Brooke penned an emotional column for the <em><a href="https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/at-33-i-ve-begun-seriously-thinking-about-putting-my-plans-on-ice-20201029-p569m9.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Sydney Morning Herald</a></em> in which she detailed the decision to freeze her eggs.</p> <p>“There’s still the stigma of being single in your 30s, with people assuming you can’t find love. Instead, maybe the decision to freeze eggs should be seen through the prism of its more likely causes: prioritising career; making decisions based on values; waiting for the right person; or simply leaving options open,” Boney wrote.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Today / Instagram </em></p>

TV

Placeholder Content Image

“Love the skin you are in”: Jana Pittman’s honest snaps prompt outpouring of love

<p>Former Olympic athlete and mother-of-six Jana Pittman has taken to Instagram to share an important message on loving your body with her followers.</p> <p>Jana’s post featured a length caption that was, in her words, “close to my heart”. In it, the 40-year-old was open and honest with her supporters about the impact of motherhood on her body, time, and the “emotional and stressful journey” she has been on over the course of the last year. </p> <p>Alongside the caption came three pictures of Jana, clad in just her underwear and a glowing smile, in a series of poses. One sees her adopting the ‘Superwoman pose’, hands on her hips in a show of strength and power, and another sees her making a heart shape with her own stomach, in a sweet reflection of her “love the skin you are in” message. </p> <p>“I wanted to share these photos because they speak volumes to me. This body used to be ripped and lean, racing for Aus against the world’s best,” Jana wrote. </p> <p>“Fast forward 16 years, 6 kids later and this is where I am at. Yes this is the heaviest I have ever been, yes my body wears the beautiful scars of motherhood, especially the stretched skin from the twins at 39 years old but I am also heavy due to being so time poor!!</p> <p>“Many of my posts show this tough and crazy woman managing so many different facets of life but the reality is I have had to make choices with my time and there has been very little left for me. The last 12 months have been an emotional and stressful journey on several fronts which resulted in comfort eating here and there... so I am now the same weight as when I was heavily pregnant!”</p> <p>Jana went on to share her gratitude for her body and all that it's capable of, while admitting that it isn’t always so easy, telling fans “this is me right now and while I am not exactly comfortable, I am so grateful for this body. It has bravely taken me through so much and even though I don't always honour it, it honours me.</p> <p>“Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Love the skin you are in.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Co5t_B7hxOk/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Co5t_B7hxOk/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Jana Pittman (@janapittmanofficial)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The post - tagged with the likes of #bodypositive, #beproud, #postpregnancybody, #loveyourself, and #grateful - immediately resonated with Jana’s followers, with many opening up to her and each other about their own journeys with their bodies. </p> <p>“This is an extremely important message and I myself have to remind myself what my body has done and created,” one wrote. “Love every stretch mark and dimple as this is the vessel that helped create and carry life.” </p> <p>“Thank you so much for being so raw and beautiful. You are such an inspiration,” chimed another, who like many was glad to know she wasn’t alone in her feelings. “I really appreciate you sharing as this is exactly how I feel right now and its nice to know we are all in this together.”</p> <p>“I’m the same, after having twins 11 months ago and two other children my stomach has changed shape and bulges. I don’t have time to get into shape, I’m time poor as back at work. Sleep is actually more important for me right now! Better quality sleep!” One told Jana, to which the Olympian replied, agreeing, that going back to work can be a big step with twins who wake during the night. </p> <p>Australian swimmer Shayna Jack even joined the conversation, declaring Jana to be an “amazing inspiration.” </p> <p>And fellow Olympian Anna Meares echoed the sentiment of Shayna and hundreds of others in the comments, writing, “you continue to amaze and inspire me!” </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Body

Placeholder Content Image

Brutally honest housemate ad applauded

<p dir="ltr">A man has been praised online for his brutally honest advertisement for a roommate, in which he laid out some very specific ground rules for potential tenants.</p> <p dir="ltr">The man from Perth posted the ad on the Perth Buy And Sell Western Australia Facebook group, stating he “really really didn’t want a housemate” but needed someone to share the rent so he could “save for a motorbike”.</p> <p dir="ltr">He went on to list the many traits he wanted in his future housemate, which included someone who smokes outside, “no paedophiles” and a preferably introverted roommate who largely kept to themselves. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I really really don’t want a housemate, especially someone who talks too much or who has lots of visitors,” he wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Prefer someone who just wants to use the room to set up a lan for computer hacking 9-5 or FIFO workers 4/1.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“No eye contact or boring ‘polite’ casual conversations.”</p> <p dir="ltr">On offer in the home was one large room with high ceilings, unlimited internet, with access to a large contained backyard complete with a lemon and orange tree, with the rent also enticingly priced at $165 a week.</p> <p dir="ltr">He also went on to say the prospective roommate could grow marijuana or magic mushrooms in the backyard but only “if you share”.</p> <p dir="ltr">The man who shared the ad has been praised online for being “refreshingly honest” and upfront, with many commenters appreciating his transparency. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Best room to rent ad ever. Expectations and boundaries laid upfront,” one woman wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">It is as yet unclear if the man has found a roommate that meets his list of demands to move in with him – but we sure hope so. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Facebook</em></p>

Real Estate

Placeholder Content Image

Guide to the classics: Shakespeare’s sonnets — an honest account of love and a surprising portal to the man himself

<p>Most of us are familiar with Shakespeare’s plays. Even if we aren’t Shakespeare geeks, chances are we’ve waded through five or six in school, seen several movie adaptations and been to an “in the park” production.</p> <p>And then there is the constant background of Shakespearean quotations and references colouring our lives, from recognisable lines like “let slip the dogs of war”, to the <em>oh, I didn’t know Shakespeare wrote that</em> cliches, such as “one fell swoop” or “wear my heart upon my sleeve”.</p> <p>However, apart from a few hits, Shakespeare’s sonnets are less known.</p> <p><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/400921/original/file-20210517-17-430jhf.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=1000&amp;fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/400921/original/file-20210517-17-430jhf.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=237&amp;fit=clip" alt="" /></a> <span class="caption"></span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">goodreads</span></span></p> <p>Fortified with a familiarity with the plays, a virgin journey into the sonnets is as good a literary adventure as anyone could hope for. It is both unsettling and beguiling.</p> <p>The Shakespeare of the plays is god-like: he is everywhere in his creations as a masterful and unifying presence, and yet he is aloof. If I had to take a punt, I’d say he was wise, wry — the kind of person who knew how to do life right.</p> <p>Thus it is a shock to meet the Shakespeare of the sonnets. This Shakespeare is frail (sonnets <a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/29">29</a> and <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/145">145</a>), obsessed (<a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/28">28</a>), judgmental (<a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/130">130</a>), fickle (<a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/110">110</a>) and self-pitying (<a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/72">72</a>). And so we are drawn in. We begin to ponder how much of himself Shakespeare reveals in the sonnets, and, if he is in there, how one of the most remarkable humans could be so like the rest of us.</p> <h2>What is a sonnet?</h2> <p>A sonnet is a short poem, traditionally about love. The “English” or “Shakespearean” sonnet has a standard form. There are 14 lines, each with five “beats”.</p> <p>Each beat has two syllables, with the second being stressed. This is known as “iambic pentameter”. Try it out with the most famous line from the sonnets: “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?” (<a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/18">18</a>)</p> <p><iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VYnj7ZutTgI?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <p>The sonnet has three “quatrains” — stanzas with four lines — and a final rhyming couplet — two lines that rhyme. The couplet packs a certain punch that turns the sonnet on its head or provides the key to the sonnet or something similar.</p> <hr /> <p><em> <strong> Read more: <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-poetic-metre-53364">Explainer: poetic metre</a> </strong> </em></p> <hr /> <h2>A brief overview</h2> <p>When we talk about Shakespeare’s sonnets, we are usually referring to the 154 sonnets published in 1609 when Shakespeare was about 45. The sonnets were likely written and revised throughout Shakespeare’s adult life (though there is debate).</p> <p>Keeping to the tradition, Shakespeare’s sonnets are about love. But they take us into love’s maelstrom. The sonnets speak, often in the most raw fashion, of jealousy (<a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/61">61</a>), fear (<a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/48">48</a>), infidelity (<a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/48">120</a>) and love triangles (<a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/41">41</a>, <a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/42">42</a>), but also of the simple happiness that love can bring (<a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/25">25</a>). Because of this, according to poet and essayist <a href="https://www.google.com.au/books/edition/Melodies_Unheard/ub3TDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&amp;gbpv=0">Anthony Hecht</a>, young lovers make up the most substantial readership of the sonnets.</p> <p>The bulk of the sonnets (1-126) are addressed to a young man, often referred to as the “fair youth”.</p> <p><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/400478/original/file-20210513-13-14vcb7x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=1000&amp;fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/400478/original/file-20210513-13-14vcb7x.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=237&amp;fit=clip" alt="" /></a> <span class="caption">The dedication to the sonnets.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Author provided</span></span></p> <p>The last 28 are mostly addressed to or about a woman: “the dark lady”. The real-life identities of both figures are not known. However, the dedication to the sonnets, which some consider to be a code, may contain the youth’s identity (see <a href="https://shakespeareoxfordfellowship.org/wp-content/uploads/Oxfordian1999_Rollett_Dedication.pdf">this</a> article by amateur Shakespeare scholar, John Rollett).</p> <p>Within these two broad sets there are smaller groupings. Sonnets 1 to 17 are known as the “procreation sonnets”, while 78 to <a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/86">86</a>, which reveal that another poet is drawing inspiration from the fair youth, are referred to as the “rival poet” sequence.</p> <p>And throughout, two and sometimes three sonnets are directly linked as if they were a longer poem (for instance <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/66">66</a>, <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/67">67</a> and <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/68">68</a> — look out here for the objection to the silly wigs everyone wore).</p> <h2>The fair youth sequence</h2> <p>There are several recurring themes here.</p> <p>A number of sonnets address the pain of being apart (such as <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/44">44</a> and <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/45">45</a>). And in <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/49">49</a> we see the persona’s anxiety about parting permanently when he imagines the time “when thou [the fair youth] shalt strangely pass, / And scarcely greet me with that sun, thine eye.”</p> <p>But we also witness the persona drawing on his love for the youth to fortify himself against unhappy memories. The well known <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/30">30</a> begins with:</p> <blockquote> <p>When to the sessions of sweet silent thought / I summon up remembrance of things past, / I sigh the lack of many a thing I sought, / And with old woes new wail my dear time’s waste.</p> </blockquote> <p>It finishes with the lines, “But if the while I think on thee, dear friend, / All losses are restor’d, and sorrows end.”</p> <p>There are also the themes of time’s destruction of beauty and the horror of death. And hand-in-hand with these, we see the persona searching for ways for the youth to achieve immortality.</p> <p><a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/12">In 12</a>, one of the “procreation sonnets”, the youth is encouraged to seek immortality by having children. It finishes with: “And nothing ‘gainst Time’s scythe can make defence, / Save breed, to brave him, when he takes thee hence.”</p> <p><iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/t65ind8zJiw?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <p>However, even more poignant are the persona’s many explicit attempts to preserve the youth through his poetry — a quixotic enterprise that, remarkably, has worked. This is best exemplified in <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/18">18</a>. We read:</p> <blockquote> <p>Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade, / When in eternal lines to time thou growest. / So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, / So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.</p> </blockquote> <p><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/400924/original/file-20210517-21-1gj94x.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=1000&amp;fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/400924/original/file-20210517-21-1gj94x.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=237&amp;fit=clip" alt="" /></a> <span class="caption">Portrait by John Taylor, thought to be of Shakespeare.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">Wikimedia Commons</span></span></p> <p>A <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2010/oct/16/shakespeare-sonnets-don-paterson">common discussion</a> is whether the fair youth sequence reveals that Shakespeare was gay or bisexual. Unless the sonnets are a wild fabrication, Shakespeare certainly wasn’t straight.</p> <p>However, we should, as scholar <a href="https://www.amazon.com/William-Shakespeare-Sonnets-English-Authors/dp/0805716491">Dennis Kay</a> reminds us, be cautious of “applying a modern understanding of, and attitudes toward, homosexuality to early modern culture.” Read <a href="http://shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/20">20</a> and see what you think.</p> <p>Not all the sonnets in the fair youth sequence are addressed to the youth. An exception is another of the evergreen sonnets: <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/116">116</a>. This ode to the eternal nature of love begins with:</p> <blockquote> <p>Let me not to the marriage of true minds / Admit impediments. Love is not love / Which alters when it alteration finds, / Or bends with the remover to remove: / O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark.</p> </blockquote> <p>Returning to sonnet <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/66">66</a> (my favourite), although the final couplet addresses love, the sonnet stands out because its focus is not love, but the corruptions of the world.</p> <p>In it, the persona objects to “folly (doctor-like) controlling skill” and “art made tongue-tied by authority.” Here we are reminded of the battles many who are capable and spirited must fight against soulless bureaucracies and the censorious.</p> <h2>The dark lady sequence</h2> <p>The “dark lady” is “dark” because when she is introduced in <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/127">127</a>, her complexion and eyes are described as black:</p> <blockquote> <p>In the old age black was not counted fair, / Or if it were, it bore not beauty’s name; / But now is black beauty’s successive heir, / And beauty slander’d with a bastard shame.</p> </blockquote> <p>And later in the sonnet we read: “my mistress’ eyes are raven black.”</p> <p>In the dark lady sequence, the persona suffers familiar torments. But there are also several instances of humor — the fair youth sequence is almost humorless.</p> <p>In <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/135">sonnet 135</a> and <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/136">136</a> the persona puns bawdily and relentlessly on the world “will”: “Wilt thou, whose will is large and spacious, / Not once vouchsafe to hide my will in thine?”</p> <p>But the stand-out is <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/130">130</a>. Here the persona pointedly declines to use tired comparisons to praise the attributes of his mistress.</p> <p>We read: “My mistresses’ eyes are nothing like the sun”, and, “And in some perfumes is there more delight / Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.”</p> <p>Then come the glorious lines: “I grant I never saw a goddess go; / My mistress when she walks, treads on the ground.”</p> <p><iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/p2Ja0Paz04s?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <h2>Their reception</h2> <p>The sonnets were not much read for nearly 200 years after their publication, but since then they have only grown in popularity. This was, perhaps, assisted by Wordsworth’s own sonnet: “<a href="https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45547/scorn-not-the-sonnet">Scorn Not the Sonnet</a>”. (I know, it’s hard not to laugh.)</p> <p>Today, lines from the sonnets turn up from time to time in popular culture. Naturally, in “Dead Poets Society” <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/18">sonnet 18</a> is recited.</p> <p><iframe width="440" height="260" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/3Nu3mhFvih4?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <p>So what do the sonnets mean for us today? Many things. Most commonly, they have come to stand for perfect love, but this is likely because few readers make it past two of them: <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/18">sonnets 18</a> and <a href="http://www.shakespeares-sonnets.com/sonnet/116">116</a>.</p> <p>For those who do read further, the sonnets provide a more honest account of love, while exploring other substantial themes such as fear of death and the search for immortality.</p> <p>The sonnets can also be enlisted to support social and political causes, from freedom to sexuality. And then there is the possible portal they provide into Shakespeare the man.</p> <p>Ultimately though, we read on because of Shakespeare’s inimitable commingling of beauty and truth — if the two can be separated. And because each reading reveals that we are still only splashing about in the shallows of an immeasurable ocean.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/156964/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><span><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/dr-jamie-q-roberts-1192216">Dr Jamie Q Roberts</a>, Lecturer in Politics and International Relations, <em><a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sydney-841">University of Sydney</a></em></span></p> <p>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/guide-to-the-classics-shakespeares-sonnets-an-honest-account-of-love-and-a-surprising-portal-to-the-man-himself-156964">original article</a>.</p>

Books

Placeholder Content Image

“Hunk of junk”: Mum’s overly honest caravan ad has internet in stitches

<p>Glastonbury mum Katie Perkins has obviously had enough of the 27-year-old caravan taking up space on her property.</p> <p>So, in a fit of fury, she took to Facebook Marketplace to try and find a prospective buyer – but soon turned her post into an opportunity to vent a bit of pent-up rage at the “monstrosity” that had been plaguing her for so long.</p> <p>The UK woman was definitely a little too honest in her expletive-laden ad, and the post quickly went viral due to her astonishingly blunt descriptions.</p> <p>“It is a tin shed on wheels,” she wrote.</p> <p>“It is f***ing hot in the summer. It is f***ing freezing in the winter. It even grows icicles on the inside.”</p> <p>She adds that the oven and fridge are equally rubbish, but the microwave is “pretty decent.”</p> <p>“Get this hunk of junk off my f***ing land,” she pleads.</p> <p>“I’d love to say it’s beautiful, but I’d be lying. I’d love to say I loved living in it, but I’d be lying.”</p> <p>The listing has been shared more than 1,000 times and racked up hundreds of comments as people commended her for the refreshing honesty, calling it the “best ad ever”.</p> <p>Check out the images of the caravan in the gallery below, and here also is the full (slightly cleaned up) post in all its glory:</p> <p>“YES IT'S STILL AVAILABLE - I WILL. REMOVE ONCE IT HAS GONE.</p> <p>IT IS AN ANCIENT 27 YEAR OLD CARAVAN. 32FT x 10FT, 2 BED STATIC.</p> <p>IT HAS BEEN LIVED IN BY A FAMILY OF 7 (WE WERE A FAMILY OF 4 🤰⚠️) FOR 7 YEARS ONSITE WHILST BUILDING OUR DREAM HOME, WHICH TURNED INTO A F***ING NIGHTMARE.</p> <p>IT IS NOT PRISTINE.</p> <p>IT IS NOT PRETTY.</p> <p>IT IS A TIN SHED ON WHEELS.</p> <p>IT IS F***ING HOT IN THE SUMMER.</p> <p>IT IS F***ING FREEZING IN THE WINTER.</p> <p>IT EVEN GROWS ICICLES ON THE INSIDE. IT COULD DO WITH FULL REPLACEMENT OF CARPETS.</p> <p>IT NEEDS A GOOD BLEACH CLEAN THROUGHOUT.</p> <p>IT HAS A SHIT OVEN.</p> <p>IT HAS A SHIT HOB.</p> <p>IT HAS A SHIT FRIDGE.</p> <p>KIDS WERE POTTY TRAINED IN IT.</p> <p>DOG WAS POTTY TRAINED IN IT.</p> <p>IT HAS BEEN USED AS STORAGE FOR THE LAST 9 MONTHS.</p> <p>NEXT STOP THE F***ING CHICKENS ARE GOING IN IT.</p> <p>IT DOES HAVE A PRETTY DECENT MICROWAVE, ALBEIT CHEAP MORRISONS ONE.</p> <p>IT ALSO HAS EXTRAS!</p> <p>COUPLE OLD SHOES IN THE WARDROBE.</p> <p>ABSTRACT ART, ONE OF A KIND, COURTESY OF THE CHILDREN.</p> <p>OLD BOTTLES OF BOOZE UNDER THE SINK.</p> <p>PRETTY SURE THERE'S EVEN A SLOW COOKER THAT WAS ONLY USED ONCE?</p> <p>BEDS THAT HAVE BEEN DESTROYED AND I CANNOT BE F***ED TO REMOVE.</p> <p>I’M SURE IF YOU ARE LOOKING AT IT YOU CAN USE IT FOR SOMETHING, I DON'T GIVE A F**K WHAT.</p> <p>I WANT OFFERS.....I DON'T EXPECT ALOT BUT SOMETHING WOULD BE NICE.</p> <p>F**K IT - IF YOU TRUELY WANT THIS F***ING MONSTROSITY THEN I WILL TRADE IT FOR A COUPLE BOXES OF HUBBY'S FAVOURITE RED WINE - JAMMY RED ROO OR JAM SHED.</p> <p>GET THIS HUNK OF JUNK OFF MY F***ING LAND.</p> <p>I'D LOVE TO SAY IT'S F***ING BEAUTIFUL, BUT I'D BE LYING.</p> <p>I'D LOVE TO SAY I LOVED LIVING IN IT, BUT I'D BE LYING.</p> <p>I'D LOVE TO SAY I'D LOOK FORWARD TO A CARAVAN HOLIDAY, BUT GUESS WHAT...?</p> <p>I'D BE LYING.”</p> <p>… and if you’re still game to read the real thing, take a deep breath, be warned, and click <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/332595611252474/" target="_blank">here</a>.</p> <p><strong>Images:</strong> Facebook Marketplace</p>

Downsizing

Placeholder Content Image

Honest lockdown reveal from PM Scott Morrison's wife

<p>Australia’s “first lady” Jenny Morrison said her husband Prime Minister Scott Morrison would “need a rest at some point” as he continues to work on the COVID-19 crisis.</p> <p>In an interview with <em><a href="https://www.9news.com.au/videos/national/exclusive-interview-with-p-ms-wife-jenny-morrison/cka0uiaqy001l0hp84z8cpcci">9News</a></em>, Mrs Morrison was asked how the PM was dealing with the stress of the situation in private.</p> <p>“His mind doesn’t stop,” she said.</p> <p>“He just works and works and works and works and works. I’m sure he’s going to need a rest at some point, he’ll need that, it’s huge.</p> <p>“He amazes me, he really does, every day.”</p> <p>She said for now the PM would just “push on” with “lots of work to get everything up and running”.</p> <p>The pair and their daughters Abbey and Lilly have been staying at the PM’s official Canberra residence, The Lodge, along with the girls’ grandmothers since the COVID-19 rules were introduced six weeks ago.</p> <p>“Having the kids home all the time and having the mothers there as well, and myself … You know, I think we all took some adjusting,” Mrs Morrison said.</p> <p>“I think most families have had to do a lot adjusting to create their new normal at home. That’s been a good learning curve for us.”</p> <p>The interview comes as states and territories announced plans to ease some restrictions starting this week.</p>

News

Placeholder Content Image

Carrie Bickmore’s refreshingly honest confessions from the chaos of isolation

<div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text "> <p><em>The Project</em><span> </span>host Carrie Bickmore is just like any parent trying to work from home and parent her young children. As Bickmore is self-isolating at her home with her partner Chris Walker, daughters Evie and Adelaide as well as Carrie’s son Ollie, the Bickmore residence is full to the brim.</p> <p>Naturally, she’s been sharing photos and videos with her Instagram followers, showing how the family is keeping themselves entertained at home during this time.</p> <p>From her youngest daughter Adelaide playing along on the keyboard with Bickmore to coming up with songs to help other children learn about COVID-19, it’s all on Bickmore’s Instagram.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-YGC2aHjXh/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-YGC2aHjXh/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Carrie Bickmore (@bickmorecarrie)</a> on Mar 30, 2020 at 4:37pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Bickmore shared this snap showing off her roots as hairdressers are currently closed due to the coronavirus pandemic. Tommy Little was quick to comment, saying “Carrie Skunkmore”, whereas other female celebrities were much more supportive.</p> <p>Magda Szubanki commented, "I'm thinkin it might be time to just shave it all off! Mine I mean!! 👩‍", while Patti Newton wrote, "It means I can't be a natural blonde!!!!!"</p> <p>Kate Ritchie commented saying that “I can’t even show you my eyebrows…”.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-ilxKWH_-m/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-ilxKWH_-m/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">ISO GOAL. To learn to play Clocks by ColdPlay 🤗 I used to play piano as a kid and have been inspired watching Ollie play, so......my challenge is to learn to play piano again by end of ISO. Tricky to learn the second hand when little people want to join in... but we’ll get there 👏 (god I love music) 🎶</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/bickmorecarrie/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank"> Carrie Bickmore</a> (@bickmorecarrie) on Apr 3, 2020 at 6:31pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Bickmore showed her and little Adelaide indulging in a bit of piano playing, as Bickmore said that her isolation goal is to learn how to play Clocks by Coldplay.</p> <p>She said she was inspired by her oldest son Ollie playing, but said it was tricky when little hands want to join in (and by “little hands”, she means her youngest Adelaide.)</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-LdlOQH5P-/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-LdlOQH5P-/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Carrie Bickmore (@bickmorecarrie)</a> on Mar 25, 2020 at 6:58pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Bickmore’s older daughter Evie came up with a song to encourage other children to wash their hands properly and to try and stop the spread of COVID-19.</p> <p>She filmed the song and posted it on Instagram, which is very sweet. The video has since clocked up 100,085 views and counting.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Vom5entAT/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Vom5entAT/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Carrie Bickmore (@bickmorecarrie)</a> on Mar 29, 2020 at 5:51pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Bickmore also surprised fans when she was incredibly candid about how she was handling life in isolation as she shared a video of Ollie and Adelaide spinning around on a chair.</p> <p>She wrote the caption below explaining her experience.</p> <p>“Well.......parenting through the corona crisis is proving to be a roller coaster ride! It’s like doing normal life but without all the scaffolding. No routine, no school, no weekly activities, no extended family, no friends, no familiar faces, no distractions and not many breaks to catch our breath.</p> <p>“There are moments that make your heart sing, beautiful moments that we wouldn’t normally get, and moments that are incredibly tough. So much uncertainty and stress and sometimes you just wanna cry or hide in a cupboard for 5 mins peace.</p> <p>“No two lives are the same, everyone has different challenges at the moment and is being tested in different ways, but there is so much compassion and care going around.</p> <p>“We all need to be kind to each other and to ourselves as well. To all our health workers putting their lives and their families lives at risk for all of us. Thank you.”</p> </div> </div> </div>

TV

Placeholder Content Image

“Hear the truth from me”: Prince Harry’s brutally honest speech

<p>Prince Harry has spoken publicly about his surprise decision to leave the royal family, explaining to guests at a charity dinner that he wanted to deliver the “truth from me”.</p> <p>He also pleaded for the public to trust that “my wife upholds the same values that I do”.</p> <p>In his speech, that was delivered at the Sentebale Fundraiser and shared on Twitter via royal reporter Omid Scobie, Prince Harry spoke honestly about the period of transition his family was experiencing. </p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/tv/B7hGUztJA0F/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/tv/B7hGUztJA0F/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (@sussexroyal)</a> on Jan 19, 2020 at 2:00pm PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“I can only imagine what you may have heard or perhaps read over the last few weeks,” Harry told the crowd.</p> <p>“So, I want you to hear the truth from me, as much as I can share — not as a Prince, or a Duke, but as Harry, the same person that many of you have watched grow up over the last 35 years — but with a clearer perspective.</p> <p>“... I have grown up feeling support from so many of you, and I watched as you welcomed Meghan with open arms as you saw me find the love and happiness that I had hoped for all my life. Finally, the second son of Diana got hitched, hurray!</p> <p>“I also know you’ve come to know me well enough over all these years to trust that the woman I chose as my wife upholds the same values as I do. And she does, and she’s the same woman I fell in love with.</p> <p>“We both do everything we can to fly the flag and carry out our roles for this country with pride.”</p> <p>Prince Harry went onto explain that he was disappointed that things had ended like this and felt that himself and his family had no other choice but to leave.</p> <p>“Once Meghan and I were married, we were excited, we were hopeful, and we were here to serve,” he explained.</p> <p>“For those reasons, it brings me great sadness that it has come to this.</p> <p>“The decision that I have made for my wife and I to step back, is not one I made lightly. It was so many months of talks after so many years of challenges. And I know I haven’t always gotten it right, but as far as this goes, there really was no other option.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" data-lang="en-gb"> <p dir="ltr">In a passionate speech, Harry spoke about recent events, telling guests, “I want you to hear the truth from me, as much as I can share – not as a Prince, or a Duke, but as Harry.”<br /><br />Read his words, in full, here👇🏻 <a href="https://t.co/8nS7He5LB4">pic.twitter.com/8nS7He5LB4</a></p> — Omid Scobie (@scobie) <a href="https://twitter.com/scobie/status/1219016511546892289?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">19 January 2020</a></blockquote> <p>He also made it clear that he is not walking away from the royal family.</p> <p>“What I want to make clear is we’re not walking away... Our hope was to continue serving the Queen, the commonwealth, and my military associations, but without public funding. Unfortunately, this wasn’t possible,” he explained.</p> <p>“I’ve accepted this, knowing that it doesn’t change who I am or how committed I am. But I hope that helps you understand what it had to come to, that I had to step my family back from all I have ever known, to take a step forward into what I hope can be a more peaceful life.</p> <p>“... We are taking a leap of faith — thank you for giving me the courage to take this next step.”</p> <p>Naturally, Prince Harry ended things on a lighter note, sharing a sweet story about how his eight-month-old son Archie. The doting dad said that Archie “saw snow for the first time the other day and thought it was bloody brilliant”.</p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

Majority of people return lost wallets: The most honest countries

<p>Honesty is one of the traits we value most in others. We often assume it is a rather rare quality, making it important for us to find out who we can actually trust in this selfish world. But according to new research, there’s no need to be so cynical – it turns out most people in the world are honourable enough to return a lost wallet, especially if it contains a lot of cash.</p> <p>The study, <a href="https://science.sciencemag.org/lookup/doi/10.1126/science.aau8712">published in <em>Science</em></a>, looked at how often people in 40 different countries decided to return a lost wallet to the owner, after the researchers handed it in to the institution in which they said it had been found. Surprisingly, in 38 countries, the wallets with higher sums of money were returned more often than those with smaller amounts. This was the opposite of what the researchers had expected, they thought there would be a minimum dollar value at which participants would begin to keep the money.</p> <p>Overall, 51% of those who were handed a wallet with smaller amounts of money reported it, compared with 72% for a larger sum. The most honest countries were Switzerland, Norway and the Netherlands whereas the least honest were Peru, Morocco and China.</p> <p>So why is this and what does it tell us about the psychology of honesty? To get an idea, I ran a very informal focus group to find out what kinds of things people may ask themselves when making a decision to return a found wallet. A common view was that no one wanted to appear to act in a socially unacceptable way, and nobody wanted to appear to be a thief. And, of course, the more money in the wallet, the greater the crime.</p> <p>An important aspect of the new study, however, was that the wallets were handed in to people working in the institutions in which they were said to be found. Given that people in one institution may know each other and may start suspecting each other, there was a very real chance of being found out if the wallet was not handed in. This is perhaps different from finding a wallet yourself on public transport when all you may grapple with is your own conscience.</p> <p>The “found wallet” test has been used in research before but this is the first global study to use it and it involved more than 17,000 lost wallets. In 2009, a researcher <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=26&amp;v=33SwGGm9eQc">carelessly “dropped”</a> a number of wallets all over Edinburgh to see what would happen. He got 42% of the wallets back, but wasn’t not the most interesting finding. It wasn’t only the money in the wallet that influenced whether it would be returned. Where a family photo, an image of a cute puppy, a baby or an elderly couple were included, the chances of the wallet being returned significantly improved.</p> <p><strong>Impressive advantages</strong></p> <p>We value honesty and other moral traits <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258920778_Moral_Character_Predominates_in_Person_Perception_and_Evaluation">higher than non-moral qualities</a>, including intelligence or humour. As honesty has become one of the cornerstones of society, we start eduacting fellow citizens about it from an early age, even in nurseries. Developmentally, we make decisions early on about morality and moral behaviour, such as whether to share a toy. In 1958, psychologist <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Kohlberg">Lawrence Kohlberg</a> developed an entire theory about the <a href="https://www.britannica.com/science/Lawrence-Kohlbergs-stages-of-moral-development">stages of moral development</a>.</p> <p>But doing the “right” thing is often very hard in reality. Recent research shows there is a trade off – acting honestly can <a href="https://scholarship.richmond.edu/jepson-faculty-publications/89/">significantly inhibit</a> your own desires. Luckily, there are important advantages. One study suggests that <a href="https://psychology.nd.edu/faculty/anita-e-kelly/">there are tangible health benefits</a> from being honest. In one study, researchers compared groups of people who were instructed to be either honest or dishonest, and found that the honest group reported fewer sore throats, headaches and general feelings of sickness during the duration of the experiment.</p> <p>Being honest <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/19/well/mind/how-honesty-could-make-you-happier.html">may also make people happier</a>. This might be unsurprising when you consider a view in evolutionary psychology that honesty <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01503/full">is a marker that encourages trust and cooperation</a>. So being honest gets you more collaborators and greater success, meaning it provides an evolutionary advantage. If we have evolved in this way, then it is hardly surprising that making a dishonest decision may go against our very nature.</p> <p><strong>The honest individual</strong></p> <p>Given how socially important honesty is, we often struggle to deal with being dishonest ourselves – it can fundamentally threaten our view of who we are. Indeed <a href="http://danariely.com/">behavioural economist Dan Ariely</a> has shown that we often <a href="http://danariely.com/books/the-honest-truth-about-dishonesty/">convince ourselves that we are honest</a> even though we may behave dishonestly, as long as those moral lapses are not huge.</p> <p>The memories of such failures can also become less vivid or even distorted over time. For example, we may attribute reasons for our behaviour that aren’t entirely accurate (“I only kept the found wallet so I could give half of the money to a beggar”) but better support our views of ourselves. Essentially <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-we-are-all-moral-hypocrites-and-what-we-can-do-about-it-66784">we are all moral hypocrites</a>.</p> <p>But which people are the most honest? We may be tempted to think it is those who are most trusted in our society. In the past, those in the UK who needed a passport application signed could choose from individuals from a number of trusted professions including <a href="https://www.nature.com/news/banking-culture-primes-people-to-cheat-1.16380">bankers</a>, priests, teachers, police officers and members of parliament. You probably smiled when you read that list – we’ve all heard of dishonest politicians, for example. Clearly, honesty is not universal in any profession, or among any one category of people.</p> <p>We are all human, and as such open to the same psychological pressures and difficult choices when faced with temptation – we arrive at our own threshold of honesty, and these thresholds can change over a lifetime. There is evidence that, as we age, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167215594189">we get more honest</a> as a result of becoming more norm focused – breaking the rules or seeking excitement becomes less common.</p> <p>But is honesty the best policy? Probably. That said, we will all agree that a “little white lie” here and there may be the best option sometimes. For example, choosing dishonesty over hurting someone’s feelings could in many cases be compassionate and socially acceptable.</p> <p>Knowing when to lie and understanding the consequences of it is the trick. Easing someone’s distress, or protecting ourselves from harm may certainly be acceptable – and we learn this too from an early age. I’ve concluded, for example, that telling a publisher that you’ve been working non-stop on an article as you rapidly approach deadline is a totally acceptable lie.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/119118/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Nigel Holt, Professor of Psychology, Aberystwyth University</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://theconversation.com/majority-of-people-return-lost-wallets-heres-the-psychology-and-which-countries-are-the-most-honest-119118" target="_blank"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

Retirement Income

Placeholder Content Image

Kate Langbroek reveals her secret split from husband in refreshingly honest interview

<p>Radio presenter Kate Langbroek has revealed that she once secretly split up from her husband Peter Allen Lewis.</p> <p>She spoke to the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.podcastoneaustralia.com.au/podcasts/a-life-of-greatness" target="_blank">Life of Greatness podcast</a> on Tuesday and confirmed that it was Peter’s tendency to be “controlling” that tore them apart.</p> <p>“It's in his DNA... Peter just had it in him,” she said of her husband.</p> <p>“And I'm like, 'You know what, you don't want to be with me because that's just going to be a life of misery for you and for me. It's just going to make us both miserable.'</p> <p>“But then we had a great conversation about it after we broke up, like probably a year-and-a-half later, where he said, '[Being controlling] doesn't make me feel good. I don't know why I try to do it. It makes me feel terrible.'</p> <p>“And I said, 'Well, why don't you stop? Because in my experience, if you're doing something and it's making you feel bad, the best thing to do is to stop it.' And also he had to know how it was to be without me.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BzbSQ03gllr/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BzbSQ03gllr/" target="_blank">When your mother in law comes to visit and look after your 4 chillun so you can go to Naples and get a virus and spend two: days holed up in your hotel room... (and you still manage to eat the best pizza eva)... #seenaplesanddie #ihopewedont ❤️🇮🇹💚🙏</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/katelangbroek/" target="_blank"> Kate Langbroek</a> (@katelangbroek) on Jul 2, 2019 at 12:36pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>She also explained how the couple met, which was on a trip to Vietnam back in 1998 when they were both dating other people.</p> <p>“When we got home, it got very complicated. And on paper it looked entirely wrong because he's like nine years younger than me and he was at university,” admitted Kate.</p> <p>“And at that stage I'd just started on television doing a show called The Panel, so it just seemed all wrong, but we just liked each other.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxon8G9lfti/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxon8G9lfti/" target="_blank">When you decide to move to Italy for a year with your four children, you learn things that you never expected - and in some cases never wanted to learn - about yourself. But what has also surprised us is that our adventure seems to be of interest to others; a curiosity and level of generosity my husband petie and I never anticipated or expected. @stellarmag came and took pics of us (Italian fantasy), and it’s in the paper today. #sixtakeitaly ❤️💚🇮🇹 ps if I didn’t know us, I think I would hate us. ❤️😂😂 pps when we were having our lovely conversation, you asked what I missed about Australia, @breeplayer.. as well as people and toasters and cheddar cheese, I miss the Sunday papers! 👏👏👏@SarrahLeMarquand 🧚🏼‍♀️</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/katelangbroek/" target="_blank"> Kate Langbroek</a> (@katelangbroek) on May 18, 2019 at 11:53pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>She explained what attracted her to him when they initially met.</p> <p>“He's very beautiful. And you know how sometimes people say that they've met someone who makes them a better person? He made me a better person and I already thought I was pretty good.”</p> <p>Married since 2003, the couple are currently living in Bologna, Italy, with their four children and are expected to return to Australia sometime next year.</p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Fifi Box’s brutally honest parenting admission that will leave you in stitches

<p>Being the parent of a newborn isn’t always rainbows and sunshine - a reality many of us are very aware of. </p> <p>Fifi Box knows all about it too, with her beautiful bundle of joy being welcomed to the world just a little over a month ago. </p> <p>Being in the throes of newborn life, the mother of two got extremely candid about having to deal with every aspect of a tiny new tot - all the way from vomit to poop. </p> <p>The hilarious TV presenter shared a stunningly honest photograph to instagram, captioning the funny snap: “You know you really love your baby when…”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B0VOO41At2M/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B0VOO41At2M/" target="_blank">You know you really love your baby when...😂</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/fifi_box/" target="_blank"> Fifi Box</a> (@fifi_box) on Jul 25, 2019 at 12:37am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>It seems the celeb wasn’t alone to share the giggles, with some of her famous friends sharing their own sentiments. </p> <p>“When the worst is the best!!!” Fifi’s <em>The Project</em> star Lisa Wilkinson wrote while Channel 7 presenter Melissa Doyle left a comment reading: “Gold! Literally!!”</p> <p>Fifi recently shared that her eldest daughter Trixie was the one to choose the name for her baby sister. </p> <p>“I never had a say in the name. Daisy was on my list and I always loved it, but when Trixie found out I was having a baby [she decided] that it was going to be called Daisy,” the TV presenter told her radio co-hosts, Brendan Fevola and Byron Cooke. </p> <p>“I just let it go and then suddenly I realised for seven months she's been wanting to call the baby Daisy and there's no going back there, so she's named her little sister which is really special.”</p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Woman writes brutally honest letter to her cheating husband’s girlfriend

<p>A woman has shared her anguish over her relationship ending via parenting platform Mumsnet.</p> <p>She’s written a moving post to the person who is having an affair with her husband and explained how she’s in the middle of a split as her husband has left her for a woman he met at work.</p> <p>She also shared her daughter’s perspective on the situation.</p> <p>“I just need to understand the reasoning behind having an affair with a taken/married man? In the middle of a break up and I’ve had 10-year-old daughter ask “why did the woman take daddy away?” she writes.</p> <p>“Such an innocent yet poignant question… please, for anyone that has been the ow (other woman) explain what you get out of it?”</p> <p>The anonymous writer also explains that her and her DP (dear partner) were close before the split.</p> <p>“I can just about grasp couples who aren’t happy, not getting on or no sec etc [sic]. My and my dp were happy, close. He was with me almost always. We went out and drank together. Had the odd date night, holidays.”</p> <p>After thinking on it, the anonymous woman decides that she would rather spend her time looking elsewhere.</p> <p>“I’d rather spend my time looking for someone else. A meaningful relationship rather than be used as an ego boost,” she finishes.</p> <p>Mumsnet users urged the woman to realise that her anger is misdirected, and she should be angry at her husband instead of “the other woman”.</p> <p>“Another woman did not take Daddy away. Life isn’t like that. Daddy left. He left. HE left – no one took him,” wrote one user.</p> <p>Another wrote: “Where’s your letter to your partner? The OW is not blameless but she did not take him away. He willingly cheated and left. Your anger is misdirected.”</p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

“It ended my relationship with them”: Madonna gets brutally honest about her relationship with her children

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Even global pop icons are not immune to the prevalence of mobile phones in their teenagers lives, which Madonna quickly found out.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In a new interview, Madonna, whose a mum of six after she adopted her four youngest children from Africa, has revealed that giving her older children a mobile phone ended the relationship with them.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I’m going to stick that one out for as long as possible, because I made a mistake when I gave my older ­children phones when they were 13,” she explained.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It ended my relationship with them, really. Not completely, but it became a very, very big part of their lives.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“They became too inundated with imagery and started to compare themselves to other people, and that’s really bad for self-growth.”</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Br1JE7WBQUw/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Br1JE7WBQUw/" target="_blank">Merry X-mas from Mambo and 4 of her 6 unicorns! 🦄🦄🦄🦄+🦄🦄. Sending Much Love 💜💜💜💜💜💜 and many prayers for ☮️ on Earth! 🌎🌍🌏. #blessed @luigimurenu #friends #family #love</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/madonna/" target="_blank"> Madonna</a> (@madonna) on Dec 25, 2018 at 4:25pm PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Despite David, her oldest son, not being her biological son, Madonna believes she has the most in common with him.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">She adopted him in 2006 with ex-husband Guy Ritchie.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“What David has more than anything is focus and determination. I’m pretty sure he got it from me. He’s the one I have the most in common with,” Madonna said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I feel like he gets me — he has more of my DNA than any of my children so far.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">However, her oldest daughter Lourdes, who is 22, is pursuing a career in show business but Madonna is worried about nepotism allegations.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“[Lola] is insanely talented,” said Madonna, using her affectionate nickname for her daughter.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I’m green with envy because she’s incredible at everything she does — she’s an incredible dancer, she’s a great actress, she plays the piano beautifully, she’s way better than me in the talent department.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“But she doesn’t have the same drive.”</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BrVxKR2hOa9/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BrVxKR2hOa9/" target="_blank">#tbt! 💕 When my babies were my babies.................this photo was taken in Barcelona by @debimazar when I was on tour! #memories #lola #rocco</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/madonna/" target="_blank"> Madonna</a> (@madonna) on Dec 13, 2018 at 11:59am PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Madonna also explained that Lourdes is impacted by what other people think of her. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I feel social media plagues her and makes her feel like, ‘People are going to give me things because I’m her daughter.’</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I try to give her examples of other children of celebrities like Zoe Kravitz (musician Lenny Kravitz’s daughter), for instance, who have to work through that ‘Oh yeah, you’re the daughter of … ’ — then eventually you are taken seriously for what you do.”</span></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

"I was a virgin until I was 23": Elton John gets candidly honest about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll

<p>Legendary music star Elton John has gotten very candid and honest about his journey in the new film <em>Rocketman</em>, which is a biopic about his life and path to stardom.</p> <p>The new film stars Taron Egerton as Elton and <em>Bodyguard<span> </span></em>and<em><span> </span>Game of Thrones s</em>t<em>ar</em> Richard Madden as his manager and lover, John Reid.</p> <p>In a new interview, Elton has revealed that he was a virgin until he was 23 – and this is played out in the film. </p> <p>“If I am telling my story, it has to be honest,” the now 72-year-old singer told the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/elton-john-reveals-didnt-joyous-16180367" target="_blank"><em>Mirror</em></a>.</p> <p>“I was a virgin until then. I was desperate to be loved and desperate to have a tactile relationship.</p> <p>“When they tear their clothes off in the movie, that was how it happened. It was in San Francisco.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx7FGRcD_4j/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx7FGRcD_4j/" target="_blank">Many people have been asking me how I felt after watching the musical fantasy film #Rocketman. Check out the article in today’s Observer Magazine to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth. Here’s the link: https://www.theguardian.com/global/2019/may/26/elton-john-in-my-own-words-exclusive-my-life-and-making-rocketman?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other @rocketmanmovie @obsmagazine</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/eltonjohn/" target="_blank"> Elton John</a> (@eltonjohn) on May 26, 2019 at 3:54am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Elton has also said that he wanted the film to celebrate gay lovemaking.</p> <p>“I’m so glad it’s in there because I am a gay man and I didn’t want to airbrush it under the carpet,” he said.</p> <p>“This is who I am and I was so joyous. When he is lying in my arms and I’m sitting back with a smile, I’m thinking, ‘Ah, I’m normal, I’ve had sex.’</p> <p>“When I grew up, my father told me if I masturbated, I’d go blind. At 13 years of age, I started to have glasses and I went, ‘Oh my God! This is coming true!’” he laughed.</p> <p>Elton added: “I’m proud<span> </span><em>Rocketman</em><span> </span>is the first major studio film with a gay love sex scene in it. If I’d left it out, I’d have felt I was cheating people.</p> <p>“If they don’t like it, I understand, but it’s part of who I am. That night was a very, very important part.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BxxgK0Nj3cK/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BxxgK0Nj3cK/" target="_blank">Happy Birthday, Bernie! 🎂 Your friendship changed my life and this month, the world can see it told in the #Rocketman 🚀 movie. Have an amazing day, I love you @bernietaupinofficial. 🚀 @rocketmanmovie</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/eltonjohn/" target="_blank"> Elton John</a> (@eltonjohn) on May 22, 2019 at 10:38am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Elton believes that he was saved by his partner of 25 years, David Furnish, 56, as well as their two children, Zachary, 8, and Elijah, 6.</p> <p>“There are still parts of being a performer which will lead to the dark side. But it doesn’t last long because I have David and I’ve my children. When my children are around, I never feel dark. I would never have thought I would be in a relationship for 25 years. I couldn’t last with any relationship because drugs came into it.”</p> <p>The film is set in the late 1960s and early 1970s and begins with Elton in rehab. The storyline is told in flashbacks and the singer-songwriter has been sober for almost 29 years.</p> <p>Elton explained: “Even though I was in a terrible state and I was doing a lot of drugs, I still kept working, I still kept making records and still kept touring and the music kept me alive. If I had stopped, I wouldn’t be here. It’s ­difficult to watch because I thought, ‘God, I don’t want to go back there.’”</p> <p><em>Rocketman</em> is in cinemas from this Thursday.</p>

Music

Placeholder Content Image

Rebecca Gibney’s honest message to her fans

<p>Rebecca Gibney is embracing her true self this New Year – and taking to Instagram to tell her followers they should too.</p> <p>In a side-by-side shot, the former <em>Packed to the Rafters</em> star showed two selfies – one heavily filtered and another with no editing. In her post, she highlights the importance of embracing your best self in 2019.</p> <p>“There’s nothing wrong with making the most of yourself – whack on a filter now and then if it makes you feel better, lipstick, makeup, surgery, weight loll, weight gain – whatever (sic),” the actress wrote in an Instagram post.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BsJNh8ih_da/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BsJNh8ih_da/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" target="_blank">Fantasy versus reality. There’s nothing wrong with making the most of yourself - whack on a filter now and then if it makes you feel better, lipstick, makeup, surgery, weight loss , weight gain - whatever 👍🏻👌🏻 but let’s also remember that what we often see on social media are the best bits of peoples lives. We’ve all got shonky bits, mucky bits, downright grotty bits but at the end of the day we are really all the same underneath the costumes. And we’re all just muddling through the best we can so let’s keep embracing the real in 2019. As Oscar Wilde once said - “Be Yourself - Everyone else is taken” And thank you for all your kindness and love - I read every comment and really do appreciate them. Sending love back at you 💕💕💕</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/rebeccagibney_/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_medium=loading" target="_blank"> Rebecca Gibney</a> (@rebeccagibney_) on Jan 2, 2019 at 11:28am PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“… Let’s also remember that what we often see on social media are the best bits of people’s lives.</p> <p>“We’ve all got the shonky bits, mucky bits, downright grotty bits but at the end of the day we are really all the same underneath the costumes. And we’re all just muddling through the best we can so let’s keep embracing the real in 2019.”</p> <p>The 54-year-old actress is an advocate for mental health awareness, featuring in a series of images called Imperfectly Perfect – <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/imperfectlyperfectcampaign">a campaign to raise awareness</a> for mental illness and suicide prevention.</p> <p>Fans of Gibney thanked her for her honest and kind words, one user writing: “… It’s revolutionary to see women and especially older women being real, alive, action packed, strong, brave and beautiful.”</p> <p>“As Oscar Wilde once said,” Gibney wrote before finishing: 'Be Yourself – Everyone else is taken.'"</p>

Body

Placeholder Content Image

Is it better to be loyal or honest in your relationship?

<p><strong><em>Susan Krauss Whitbourne is a professor of Psychology and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. She writes the Fulfilment at Any Age blog for Psychology Today.</em></strong></p> <p>An old friend is in town on a trip that you’ve known about for months. Back when you made a date to get together for the evening, it seemed like a great idea. You definitely want to see this person, or at least you did at the time. Now that it’s getting closer to the actual event, you’re starting to regret having made those plans. Things have gotten hectic at work, and you’d like to take the evening to sit around in your sweats and binge watch that new program which just became available for streaming. </p> <p>Perhaps it’s not an evening out, but a lunch date on a weekday close by to where you work. The weather forecast is predicting a messy, rainy, day and you don’t think you’ll want to venture out any more than is necessary to get from home to the office. These situations present you with a classic dilemma: Do you tell the truth to your friend but risk the relationship or preserve the relationship by making up a legitimate-sounding excuse?</p> <p>Testing the values of loyalty vs. honesty in moral judgments, Cornell University’s John Angus D. Hildreth and University of California Berkeley’s Cameron Anderson (2018) asked “Does loyalty <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/president-donald-trump">trump</a></span> honesty?” As they note, “Groups often demand loyalty, but all too often, loyalty can corrupt individuals to engage in deceit."</p> <p>Among the list of possible deceptions that loyalty to organisations or causes can prompt is pretending to believe in something you don’t or overlooking bad behaviour by people who are a part of your group. A politician might downplay a fellow office-holder’s illicit activity, or a sales manager might turn a blind eye to the shoddy products that the company is putting out on the market. You might lie to help your <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/teamwork">team</a></span> win in a competitive match. The deceptions involved in these instances have more serious consequences than those associated with <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/deception">lying</a></span> to a friend to preserve the relationship, but the same underlying dynamic is at play in that honesty and loyalty operate at cross-purposes.</p> <p>As the Cornell-Berkeley researchers go on to observe, most people view lying as unethical but may be more accepting when a lie is the result of a prosocial motive. In fact, they cite evidence that you’ll gain more trust from the people who know you if you have a reputation as a prosocial liar. A friend may overhear you saying to a mutual acquaintance that her new hairstyle looks great when, clearly, the cut and colour are all wrong. Your coming out with this slight untruth shows how much you value other people’s feelings. Such lies are preferable to lies that are intended to give you an advantage over other people in order to get ahead. When you tell someone she looks nice so that you can get her to do a favour for you, this is no longer a prosocial lie because you’re doing this to increase the odds of getting something you want.</p> <p>However, when a lie isn’t just prosocial but a “loyal lie,” other people are likely to view you far more negatively. A lie that is intended to protect shady operations by a group of which you are a part comes closer to a self-serving lie than one that is <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/altruism">altruistic</a></span>, even though “loyal” implies some sort of higher purpose. There is a philosophical reason for this notion as well. Philosophers such as Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mills regard loyalty as “immoral” due to its “inherent partiality”. Because loyal lies benefit one’s group as well as oneself over others, they should be perceived as immoral by those who observe the lie being told. The liar, by contrast, sees no such problem and, in fact, feels “a moral imperative to act in the best interests of the group.” By not lying, the individual runs the risk of “negative social judgment, ostracism and social exclusion."</p> <p>Putting these ideas to the test, Hildreth and Anderson conducted a series of four studies involving nearly 1400 participants involving both online surveys and laboratory experiments. In the online version of the test of the study’s hypotheses (later replicated with college students), participants read scenarios varying in the behaviour described by an individual who either lied or did not lie either to benefit their group in its <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/sport-and-competition">competition</a></span> with another group. The question was whether participants would regard deceit as unethical and immoral. In the condition involving loyalty and intergroup competition, participants perceived deceit as being relatively less unethical than in other conditions. However, participants rated loyal deceit (lying to benefit their group) as more unethical than disloyal honesty (being honest at the expense of one’s own group).</p> <p>The research team placed college student participants in the experimental study similarly in conditions involving either intergroup competition or no competition. Here the question was whether or not they would lie when their loyalty was triggered. Rather than judging the <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/ethics-and-morality">morality</a></span> and ethicality of others, then, participants judged their own behaviour.</p> <p>As shown in prior studies, participants were more likely to lie when they thought it would help their own group. In general, they judged their own behaviour as less ethical when they lied compared to when they were honest. However, there was an important exception – when they lied to benefit their group, the participants did not see any ethical problem in their own behaviour. In fact, they actually saw their behaviour as slightly more ethical when they lied compared to when they told the truth.</p> <p>As the authors concluded, “These individuals seemed to ground their self-perceptions in a morally pluralistic framework, focusing on loyalty above and beyond truthfulness as a critical moral dimension in this context” (p. 90). In other words, liars can compartmentalise enough to be able to justify their lying if it serves a purpose of protecting their group.</p> <p>The final study in the series randomly assigned participants in the laboratory simulation to actor or observer role. As in the prior studies, loyal lies received the harshest judgments by observers, but not by the actors themselves.</p> <p><strong>To sum up</strong>, in answer to the article’s title, loyalty really does trump honesty in the view of the person committing the lie. Loyal liars don’t just rationalise their lying after the fact; instead, they have different standards for loyal lying than they do for honesty. Returning to the quandary you find yourself in when you feel you need to lie to get out of a prior obligation, the Cornell-Berkeley study suggests that it’s all too easy to slip into a mode where you see your lying as needed to protect your relationship. This may be fine on an occasional or extreme basis, but it’s quite likely that you can easily slip down that slope into habitual lying.</p> <p>Rather than lie to protect your relationship, then, a dose of honesty may be needed even if it seems difficult at the time. Alternatively, perhaps you shouldn’t lie at all. If you’ve made a social commitment that now seems inconvenient, consider following through on it. You may have a much better time than you realised you would, and the loyalty you show toward those in your life might just provide the basis for more fulfilling <span><a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/basics/relationships">relationships</a></span>.</p> <p><em>Written by Susan Krauss Whitbourne. Republished with permission of <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Psychology Today.</strong> </span></a></em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Turia Pitt’s brutally honest confession about breastfeeding

<p>Inspirational burns survivor and motivational speaker, Turia Pitt, has remained brutally honest about the journey of motherhood since announcing the news of her pregnancy last year.</p> <p>Now, Turia has shared a candid photo showing how her body has been affected since breastfeeding her son, Hakavai Hoskin.</p> <p>In the photo shared on her Instagram story, Turia is wearing a bikini top which is filled out on one side and gaping on the other.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><img style="width: 295.1070336391437px; height:500px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7819891/1.jpg?width=295.1070336391437&amp;height=500" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/1d4f1696635947b7b8f9f58a30689d26" /></p> <p>"Retired,” Turia wrote over the photo, with an arrow pointing to her smaller boob.</p> <p>“Very much at work,” she wrote next to the visibly bigger one.</p> <p>The first-time mum’s honest sense of humour has been praised by fans for her relatability.</p> <p>Turia and her partner, Michael Hoskin, welcomed their baby boy into the world last year in December, six years after she suffered burns to more than 60 per cent of her body.</p> <p>Since the shocking accident, which saw her trapped in a bush fire in Western Australia, Turia has become an author and motivational speaker, gaining an online following of over 830,000 people.</p> <p>In March, she told <a href="https://au.be.yahoo.com/turia-pitts-brutally-honest-post-breastfeeding-122434042.html"><strong><u>Yahoo! 7</u></strong></a> that is was easy to feel “overwhelmed” by becoming a mum.</p> <p>“It’s easy to get stressed and overwhelmed when your baby is crying or not sleeping, and get in that loop of ‘oh, if he doesn’t sleep now, then he won’t sleep later, and then I won’t sleep well tonight, which will make tomorrow stressful etc,'" she said.</p> <p>“But that doesn’t help anyone! So I’m trying to stay in the present moment – and enjoy all of it,” Turia added. </p>

Body

Placeholder Content Image

The Project’s Waleed Aly slams Turnbull: “Politicians aren’t being honest”

<p>Waleed Aly has taken aim at the Coalition’s claims about African gang violence in Victoria, accusing Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull of dishonesty, in an eight-minute segment on The Project.<br /><br />In a blistering a takedown on Thursday night’s episode, Aly dismissed claims from Coalition politicians that Melbourne had an African gang problem.<br /><br />He took particular aim at comments made by the Prime Minister on radio station 3AW this week.<br /><br />“There is real concern about Sudanese gangs,” the Prime Minister said on air on Tuesday. “You’d have to be walking around with your hands over your ears not hear it.”<br /><br />The PM’s comments echoed previous ones made by Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton that Melburnians were “afraid” to go out to restaurants at night because of African crime.<br /><br />Aly, a Melbourne resident, noted that the only place he’d heard such concerns was on talk-back radio.<br /><br />“What’s interesting is I have lived in Melbourne and the only place I have heard concerns about Sudanese gangs is on talk-back radio where the PM made those comments,” Aly said.<br /><br />Aly joked that he had also started to get “concerned” about African gangs, “mainly because I am of African heritage. If there really are a bunch of African gangs, frankly I am offended to not have at least been asked to join one”.<br /><br /><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FTheProjectTV%2Fvideos%2F10155672058853441%2F&amp;show_text=0&amp;width=560" width="560" height="315" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe> <br /><br />While he conceded that people of African descent were slightly over-represented in certain crime statistics, Aly argued politicians were overstating the issue.<br /><br />“Take aggravated burglary for example, where they were responsible for 3.8 per cent of incidents,” Aly said. “That sounds huge until you look at the raw numbers, and you realise you are talking about just 70 incidents over the entire year.”<br /><br />He pointed to the fact Australian-born Victorians are still responsible for the majority of crimes in the state, coming in at 72 per cent.<br /><br />Aly ended the segment by arguing that politicians were using African youths in order to curry favour with voters ahead of the upcoming federal by-elections and the Victorian state election.<br /><br />“I’m sorry to say I think it’s our politicians who aren’t being honest here,” Aly continued. “I think the government is facing the super Saturday elections next week. To put it crudely, they want to appear tough on Sudanese migrants despite the fact they’re responsible for just one per cent of crime because being tough on that community wins votes in this country.”</p>

Legal

Our Partners