The one ingredient off the table at celebrity chef Kylie Kwong’s house
<p>For celebrity chef Kylie Kwong, who grew up in a large Australian Chinese family with her two grandmothers living with them, cooking was always front and centre.</p>
<p>“Mum cooked dinner for the family seven nights a week. Six nights of the week, we’d have Cantonese food. On the seventh night, we'd all rejoice – Mum would announce to us, ‘I'm cooking roast chicken tonight.’ We were so excited, because as much as we loved our Chinese-style flavours, we really welcomed Western-style food. Mum became famous for her Chinese-style roast chicken!”</p>
<p>But the one ingredient off the table at the Kwong household was a conversation about dying.</p>
<p>“Talking about end-of-life care was definitely a no-no. It was completely off the table”.</p>
<p>Recently, in support of National Palliative Care Week, Kylie recorded an intimate video, sharing her honest and candid thoughts on the importance of having a conversation about death and palliative care with loved ones.</p>
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<p>“Recently, I spoke to my mother, who is 76, about her wishes for her end of life.”</p>
<p>Kylie added, “I kept putting off this conversation, because whenever I think of the thought of mum not being around, it breaks my heart. But I did want to have the conversation with her because it’s important.”</p>
<p>82% of Australians feel that talking about their own death and dying is important, but when it comes down to it, most people don’t actually have the conversation.</p>
<p>The Australian Government Department of Health aims to raise awareness and understanding about palliative care in the Australian community.</p>
<p>In 2016, there were 3.7 million Australians aged 65, and that number is expected to grow.</p>
<p>By 2056, it is projected there will be 8.7 million older Australians, and by 2096, 12.8 million people will be aged 65 years and over.</p>
<p>With the ageing population, it’s essential that people talk to their friends and loved ones about their end-of-life care wishes.</p>
<p>For Kylie, a memory of her father’s funeral helped her start a conversation about end-of-life planning with her mother.</p>
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<p>“One of the most amazing memories was at Dad's funeral. My brother's three children were there, and the smallest one was just starting to speak. All three children released balloons into the sky as though waving goodbye to Yeh-yeh, which is what they used to call him. The littlest one pointed up to balloons and said ‘Yeh-yeh’ at ‘Kevin’s'. We were like, ‘Who's Kevin?’” she recalls.</p>
<p>“He couldn't say heaven, so he said it was Kevin’s. So, from that moment on, we have always said, ‘Hi Dad, how are you going up at Kevin's?’ It's this really beautiful, comforting way of speaking about my father. Yeh-yeh is at Kevin’s.”</p>
<p>“So, when Mum and I had a conversation, the first thing I said was, ‘Mum, when we speak about this subject, can we please refrain from using the D-I-E word, because I can't bear to say that word in the same sentence as you.</p>
<p>“'Instead, can we please refer to this time or this moment in your life as when you go to Kevin's?’ And that made both of us laugh, it was very, very touching. And of course, we both thought of my dear little nephew, and then thought of Dad up there at Kevin's,” Kylie continued.</p>
<p>“It was the most wonderful conversation, it was uplifting, it was empowering. I felt clear, I felt settled in my heart. I felt at peace about things, because I now know my Mother's wishes.”</p>
<p>And there are a number of things that top Kylie Kwong’s list when it comes to how she’d like to think about her end-of-life care.</p>
<p>“I want to be in a spiritual and emotional place where I am at ease and peace,” Kylie shared.</p>
<p>“I want to be surrounded by my loved ones, because we’ve always been a tight-knit family.”</p>
<p>And lastly, “I want my Nell to be by my side, and I want to know that she is going to be taken care of for the rest of her life. I mean who's going to cook Nell dinner?”</p>
<p><em>For more information on palliative and end-of-life care and how to begin having the conversation visit: health.gov.au/palliativecare</em></p>
