Jimmy Barnes opens up about his darkest moment
Rock and roll legend Jimmy Barnes has revealed on Q&A how he came close to taking his own life after 40 years of drug and alcohol addiction.
The music legend recalled a night where he took cocaine, ecstasy, ketamine, sleeping pills and alcohol and wanted to end his own life as his wife Jane slept in the next room.
“I walked into the room where my suitcase was and I was getting my pants on and suddenly I saw a dressing gown cord tied around a rail in the dressing room and I hadn’t remembered doing it,” he said.
“It was like watching a black and white movie. It came back to me and I remember getting out of bed and going in and thinking maybe it’s easier to die," Barnes added.
“I lay with a rope around my neck trying to die. It’s not that easy to die. And I don’t know why I stopped.”
Barnes explained that his study of Buddhism, along with his wife, helped save him.
“Searching spiritually, part of it saved me. I was born a Protestant and when I met Jane I started looking at Buddhism,” he said.
“I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the years. I was completely unaware of how far and how damaged I was.”
Barnes was commended by the panel and his friend in the audience, actor Sam Neill, for bravely sharing his story.
“I had known Jimmy very well for such a long time and none of this was apparent. And I salute Jimmy for his honesty,” Neill said.
“Thank you for being so real and raw,” said an audience member.
Barnes spoke of his upbringing and said how growing up surrounded with violence and abuse impacts a child’s life.
“I knew from the time I was ... from eight years old I remember running away from home and sitting on the end of a jetty because there was too much going on at home that I couldn’t deal with,” the singer revealed.
“I’d sit on the end of the jetty and think maybe it would be easier to swim out. Eventually obviously, you can’t run from everything and eventually I had to stop and turn and face stuff.”
Barnes explained that once he started talking about his problems, he saw a difference in his life.
“That was a huge step for me. I always thought if you go and ask for help ... I was like a bit of a bloke and ask for help and it’s a sign of weakness,” he told Q&A.
“I can look back now and look at the day when I started seriously asking for help and trying to get help was probably the first day where I showed any courage."
If you are troubled by this article, experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide, you can call Lifeline 131 114 or beyondblue 1300 224 636 or visit lifeline.org.au or beyondblue.org.au.