"It doesn't go away": Former NSW premier reflects on Lindt siege
Former NSW premier Mike Baird has reflected on the Lindt cafe siege that left two hostages dead in December 2014, revealing his struggle with post-traumatic stress.
Baird, who was the state premier at the time of the attack, said it was his mother - who is a psychologist - who first noticed his signs of PTSD after he was tasked with coordinating a response to the siege.
"I ignored it and there was other things to get on with and be busy about. But I should have listened," Baird told 60 Minutes.
Reflecting on the terrifying day, he said, "Everyone just wanted them out. And you know, for it not to happen, there's a deep grief in that. And I think the impact is felt by everyone."
"To have that loss of Tori and Katrina, I'll never lose that," Baird said, referring to the two hostages who were tragically killed during the siege.
"It's just impossible not to feel guilt."
Baird admitted he struggled to validate his own mental struggles, saying it feels like a very small part of the impact the siege had on Australians, including the enormous pain felt by the families of cafe manager Tori Johnson and barrister Katrina Dawson who lost their lives.
"In my mind there's a sense of, 'I shouldn't be impacted that way'," Baird said. "I was just there as an observer and trying to coordinate a response."
Several hostages who survived the terrifying ordeal, including Louisa Hope, told 60 Minutes that the memories will never leave them.
"For me personally it does not go away, but it is the thing that pushes me to continue to find the good or to find a good out of that awful situation," she said.
Image credits: 60 Minutes