6 expert tips to be happier
Sophie Scott is the national medical reporter for ABC, in addition to being a prominent public speaker. Sophie has won numerous awards for excellence in journalism and is the author of two books, Live a Longer Life and Roadtesting Happiness.
For many people, true happiness is something that is elusive and fleeting. Despite our affluent society, the best many of us can manage are moments of contentment, of achievement, and of fulfilment. But the lasting sense of happiness, and the feeling of leading a meaningful life remains out of reach.
According to author Stephanie Dowrick, “happiness” is a natural human quality, an expression of our life and it belongs to everyone. She says happiness is not a destination that you never get to or leave. Instead, it is the experience of connectedness, whether it’s through music, nature, art or through prayer. It’s found through whatever is meaningful to you.
Professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania Martin Seligman popularised the concept of happiness. He believes that our capacity for happiness is not something predetermined at birth. Instead, he believes anyone can train himself or herself to be happier. His theory is that happiness is determined, not by genetics and personality, not by external factors and what happens to you, but by your attitudes and how you respond and react to your occurs around you.
As happiness author Stephanie Dowrick says “what happens to you is much less important than the meaning we bring to it.” The growth of happiness, she says, occurs by paying attention to what is going well in your life. “What we pay attention to grows stronger,” she says. And recognising that we are not our mistakes. Happiness is not being perfect. None of us are, or could strive to be.
“Happiness is realising that what matters is the rising up, and not the falling down,” she says. What is really important is that happiness and fulfilment are within everyone’s reach.
I’ve collected advice from some of the world’s leading happiness experts on what will make you more joyful.
Have a clear sense of life purpose. Dr Timothy Sharp says it’s hard to live a fulfilled life if you don’t have a plan. Many people wander through life without a clear direction on where they want to end up. Whether it’s a three month or five year plan, writing realistic, modest and achievable goals will give you a sense of achievement.
Create a good support network with close supportive relationships. Happiness expert Dr David Myers says human beings have a ‘need to belong’. Cultivating good friendships, loving partnerships will help you live longer (as we will learn later in this chapter.)
Lose the envy. “I want what she is having” is a big source of unhappiness. Comparing ourselves to others will make you feel less worthy. Appreciate the strengths and abilities you already have, rather than wanting what others have.
Help others. Study after study shows helping others will make you feel good.
Take up a creative pursuit. Or something you find mentally fulfilling and challenging, whether it’s writing, drawing, cooking, learning a musical instrument or gardening.
Write a gratitude or happiness journal. It sounds corny and simplistic but taking the time to write down what you are grateful for can lift your mood. Some studies suggest it can also help your physical health as well. Robert Emmons from the University of California found optimists were better at looking after their own health. He divided 1,000 healthy people into three groups. One group had to rate their mood in a daily journal. The second group also kept a journal and had to write down what annoyed them each day. The third group had to keep a daily gratitude diary. Overall, the last group was the happiest, most likely to exercise, get regular health check-ups and rate themselves as energetic. Robert Emmons says those who kept gratitude lists were most likely to move towards achieving their goals than the other groups.
This is an extract from Sophie Scott’s Live A Longer Life. To purchase the book, please visit Sophie’s website here.
Related links:
The secret to overcoming life’s challenges
9 traits of emotionally strong people
10 signs you’re too self-critical