How to feel confident now!
Are you preparing for your first date but are feeling less than confident? Follow these tips.
While the jury is still out on whether people are born with self-confidence or if it’s a matter of the environments we grew up in, it all goes out the window when it comes to dating. First dates can be nerve-wracking experiences for the most confident person let alone everyone else, but the great news is that you can be cool, calm and collected in an instant – by adopting confidence traits! Research shows that when we change our behaviour, emotions can quickly follow suit.
By embodying some of the traits of someone who feels confident in themselves, such as good posture and meeting people in the eye, you’re effectively coming across as confident to your date. When you start to look and feel confident, you’re halfway there to believing it. Self-confidence on a first date is part of making a good first impression, so with that in mind, follow these simple tips for becoming more confident right now.
Good posture counts
It’s amazing how rounded shoulders and downcast eyes can make you feel melancholic or down in the dumps, while holding your head high, gazing straight on and standing tall can make a person feel on top of the world. A 2009 study in the European Journal of Social Psychology asked participants to hold one of two postures: sitting slumped over or straight up. While holding the posture, they were asked to complete a mock job application – listing their strengths and weaknesses for the job and rating themselves on the degree they believed they were a good candidate.
As you can probably guess, the researchers found posture had a significant effect on the ratings, with those sitting straight up having much more self-confidence. Not only will good posture make you feel more confident, but this will come across to your date the instant they see you.
Take a breath and listen
When we’re nervous, many people tend to ramble. Rather than give your date a monologue of your life (which won’t impress anyone), listen, sit straight, hold their gaze, smile and ask questions.
Body language can speak volumes about a person’s self-confidence and can do a much better job of portraying it than making self-serving statements. This is also a great way to keep the conversation flowing, since most people love talking about themselves and would love the opportunity to share their interests, life experiences and perspectives with another person.
Look good, feel great
It’s no big wonder the fashion and beauty industry is so big; people love to look and feel good. By looking good, you’re going to feel instantly more confident. Again, this goes back to making a good first impression.
If you’ve made an effort to look presentable, then this will go a long way to letting the other person know that you’re taking this date seriously. One last thing, the best accessory anyone can wear is a big smile. Pop one of these on before walking out your front door, and you’ll look a million bucks.
Good planning counts
When it comes to your first date, be prepared. Have a plan in place of where you’re going, what the menu is like (if going out for lunch or dinner), or the films that are currently showing (if going to your local cinema). Have a few good topics of conversation up your sleeve as well, since this will make you come across as articulate and instantly self-confident.
Good conversation topics can include: your family, your interests and hobbies, recent travels, the circumstances of how you met, any community groups you’re involved in, as well as your career or volunteering endeavours.
Put your date into perspective
Turning 60 is a great accomplishment. Reaching this milestone age will mean you’ve experienced life – whether that’s raising a family or developing a career you’re proud to discuss to travelling the world and seeing the amazing diversity of people, cultures and lifestyles.
You would have experienced the good and the bad (that’s a fact of life), so put a first date, even if it’s in your 60s, into perspective with everything else that you’ve achieved. Meeting a person, carrying a conversation and enjoying a delicious meal is one small moment in a life of many moments, so relax, be confident and enjoy it.
No matter if some of us are introverts or extroverts, anyone can have confidence. It’s about believing in yourself, carrying yourself well and approaching all of life’s moments with good humour and a smile.