Why we shouldn’t praise clever kids and start celebrating effort
There are plenty of words that we’ve discovered aren’t especially great to use when addressing a child. Naughty, bad and even pretty are all on the no-go list. Now, it looks as if “clever” might be joining them. Clever? You may think. But surely that’s a positive choice? And you’d be right, clever itself isn’t a “bad” word to use but what it implies can be counter-productive. According to Dr. Sam Wass, a developmental psychologist in the UK, we should be praising children for trying hard rather than for being clever. He has found that continuously praising a child for being clever can mean they start shying away from challenges that may end up “showing them up” so to speak.
The difference between praising effort and praising cleverness comes down to mindset, specifically what is referred to as a “growth mindset” and a “fixed mindset”. Praising a child for finishing a book and calling them clever is an example of a fixed mindset. Praising a child for working hard and learning how to finish the book is considered a growth mindset. This second type of praise emphasises the importance of the process; learning and trying hard as opposed to the end result.
To encourage a growth mindset, embrace learning as a continuous process that can involve hard work and may at times seem difficult. Demonstrate the fact that just because something is difficult, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t worthwhile learning or that you aren’t intelligent.
Related links:
Why you shouldn’t yell at kids
5 things you should not say when disciplining kids