House Rules star reveals struggle to love her son
House Rules star Chiara Clarson has revealed her battle with postnatal depression, telling of her despair at not feeling an immediate connection with her son Seth – and the shame that stopped her talking about her feelings.
Speaking to The Daily Telegraph, Chiara said that she had expected to fall “instantly in love” when her son was born in 2010, but was shocked when she felt a lack of connection during his first six months.
“The day after he was born I was laying in my own filth in the bed not being able to move my legs from the caesarean with this baby on my chest,” she told the publication.
“I just looked at him and thought ‘I don’t even know who you are, I just don’t know how I’m supposed to love you’.”
Chiara, who stars on the renovation reality show with husband David, didn’t know it at the time but she had postnatal depression.
She said it took her almost half a year to bond with her son, who is now eight.
“I didn’t know what to do,” said Chiara. “It was a really tough time and it wasn’t until he was six months old and he could sit up and giggle that I was like ‘you’re actually really, really cute’ and my love then instantly grew.”
Mental health charity beyondblue says one in seven women experience postnatal depression, which can develop up to one year after the birth.
Chiara, who is now mum to Taya, six, and Ellie Mae, three, said she didn’t speak about her post-birth fears because she felt “embarrassed”.
“So many friends of mine who had kids were saying ‘I was instantly in love, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ and I kept a lid on it and kept it inside,” she said.
“Getting it off your chest and talking about it is important, whether that’s with someone professional or someone close to you.
“Seeking help is not something anyone needs to be embarrassed about. Life isn’t perfect and anyone that says it is lying, it’s about getting the help you need.”
If you are troubled by this article, you can call Lifeline 131 114 or beyondblue 1300 224 636 or visit lifeline.org.au or beyondblue.org.au.