5 worst little white lies you can tell your grandkids
We all want to protect our grandchildren, but there are some instances where our “little white lies” can actually be quite damaging. It’s important to make sure you are on the same page as the parents though, so always speak to them first about what truths you are going to share with the grandkids.
1: “Fido has gone to live on a farm in the country”
Depending on the age of the children, many are able to understand about life and death. For a pre-schooler it may be the first time they start to understand that death is permanent. You could look at some photos together and say that “even though your dog won’t be coming back, we will always have the happy memories of him being in our family”. An older child will be more likely to understand death, but you could help explain it to them by talking about the life cycles of different animals so that they understand that everyone and everything lives and dies.
2: “When the stork came and delivered you…”
It might sound cute but it is essential that children understand where they come from (feel free to leave the details to their parents). If you do tell the stork lie, the children will eventually find out the truth and this might encourage them to avoid asking you for advice in the future. Depending on their age and their parent’s wishes, you could start with some sex education books from the library (from around age six).
3: “Your father was a bad man”
Divorce or separation is tough on any family, but it’s important not to be seen to be taking sides. Always try to be neutral when speaking about your own child’s partner. It’s better to be less specific if your grandchild asks why the marriage ended. For instance you could just say that, “Your parents weren’t getting along for quite a while, and so they decided to go their separate ways”.
4: “No I have never tried that before”
Once your grandchildren hit their teens there’s a good chance they’ll ask you whether you ever tried certain drugs, hitchhiked, or did anything illegal. While it’s tempting to paint yourself in a positive light, the truth can be much more powerful and even helpful in the long run. For instance you might say, “Yes I have tried that before and enjoyed it. But after a while I found that I didn’t enjoy it anymore so I stopped”. This opens up a whole new conversation about knowing your limits, or seeing how your actions affect others, which your grandchildren might relate to.
5: “I wouldn’t be pursuing that career if I were you”
You may feel that you are doing your grandchild a favour by telling them that they’re probably not going to be a famous actress or a racing car driver. But in fact, squashing their dreams at a young age can lead to resentment down the track (especially if they do end up doing it!).
Have you experienced the fallout of telling lies to kids? We would love to hear your story in the comments.
Related links:
Having a sibling makes boys selfless
Sibling rivalries in my childhood shaped who I am today
In pictures: Kids behaving badly