The most shocking things my mother ever said
Robyn Lee is in her 70s and lives with two lovable but naughty cats. She has published a book on seniors behaving badly, entitled Old Age and Villainy, and considers herself an expert on the subject.
If you're like me, you were brought up with certain standards. One of those standards may have been "no rude words in this house, thank you very much!" Then your mouth would probably have been washed out with soap, after getting a swift clip round the ear from your father. However, that seems to be changing, especially as far as my mother (aka The Matriarch or TM for short) is concerned…
I was brought up with four brothers, two of whom were ring-ins, when TM remarried after she and my father divorced (another story). Having four brothers around me meant that I often heard certain words, not that I used them myself... then. "Ladies do not speak like that," was the mantra I heard repeatedly when I was young and impressionable.
My much-loved stepfather passed away over 20 years ago and TM eventually remarried for the third time and, to cover my butt, he shall be referred to as The Third. Back to The Matriarch…
After this upbringing, I was rather bemused, to say the least, when in our usual Sunday phone call TM blithely referred to a particular politician as a “dickhead”. I was very proud of my restraint in not reacting to this observation.
Another time she told me of someone who was becoming a boring old fart and some weeks later I was told of someone else who needed a bucket of Ritalin up their arse! I have no idea what that was about, I was too stunned to ask.
It was obvious that my brothers were being very open in their use of adjectives in our mother's hearing, especially when talking among themselves. But TM’s always been very good at hearing what she wasn’t supposed to. I suppose it’s a talent developed from raising five kids. So far, she has not yet come out with the F-bomb, so common in speech nowadays.
Although talking of expletives, when she was a lot younger... about 80 or so... she informed The Third in a very disapproving voice that he was p***ed. We’d all had a glass or two of wine at that stage. The Third rather indignantly denied the charge... using the same adjective, I might add. This completely of character (as far as I knew), exchange from the pair of them, caused me to choke and waste a mouthful of very good wine by spraying it all over the place.
On that occasion when I probably looked rather like a stunned mullet, after I'd finished choking that was, TM (rather defensively, I thought) insisted that at her age she could say whatever she like. There's no way I was going to argue with her... we didn't dare argue with her when we were young and I wasn't about to rock that particular boat then.
God help us if she does come out with a stronger expletive... I don't think I'd survive the shock. The thing is, I think TM secretly enjoys catching us unawares when she comes out with something that, to us, is totally alien to the mother we know. But... I swear I saw a gleeful glint in her eye when she was castigating The Third for imbibing too much...
Have your parents shocked you by saying something out of character? Share your story with us in the comments below.
Robyn is writing a series on her 97-year-old mother (aka The Matriarch). Read part one here and part two here.