5 tips to avoid family dramas
Easter may have come and gone but that doesn’t mean that “family events” have come to a stand still. While Christmas Day and Easter Sunday are generally considered the high-stress holidays, your weekend family birthday or BBQ celebration can be just as tension filled.
Psychologists have found that one of the primary causes of stress around special occasions is family drama. Be it intrusive questions, uncomfortable political discussions or your cousin who always overdoes the “drink and be merry”, family gatherings have the potential to go down hill very quickly. Fortunately there are a number of key steps you can take to help reduce family stress and tension.
- Anticipate triggers – You should know by now what’s most likely to cause your stress levels to skyrocket. Laying these out in advance allows you to plan and rehearse your response ahead of time.
- Be willing to make a fresh start – The saying goes that you can’t choose your family. This could be extended further to include the fact that you can’t choose how you see them and what you’ve held onto emotionally over years of interaction. It can be very hard to move on from an unpleasant past experience, even years later. If you can, try putting your baggage to the side for the day and greet your gathering as a new interaction with new people. Be like an impartial outsider meeting your family for the first time. You’ve changed over the last 5/10/15/20 years and chances are good that they may have as well.
- Find an oasis – Having a secret spot or activity to look forward to or retreat to if necessary can help release tension. Plan this in advance so you can remind yourself if/when things go south that you’ll have a breather soon.
- Rely on comrades – Even if you don’t have a family member or relative you get on spectacularly well with, you’ll probably have one or two who are “neutral” territory and most likely want to avoid stress as much as you do. Make a beeline for them! If you are close with that person, explaining how you’re feeling and getting them onside to help navigate some of the “hot button” issues can reduce stress dramatically. A problem shared is a problem halved after all!
- Be grateful – It might be difficult but focusing on the positive, even if it’s only a single thing, is the best thing for your body and brain. Gratitude is a powerful antidote to misery and stress. Utilise is when and where you can.
Related links:
The new rules of grandparenthood
10 of the best activities to do with grandchildren
100 years of family dinner in 3 minutes