10 date conversation no-nos
John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship psychologist, as seen on the hit show Married At First Sight, and on the Today Show, Today Extra and A Current Affair. He is a bestselling author, regularly appears on radio and in magazines, and runs a private practice in Sydney.
If you’ve been out there on the dating scene for a while you’ve probably come across some real conversation stoppers. Opening lines and icebreakers that have simply floored you and made you go for an early exit.
Here’s some classic conversation stoppers that you would do well to avoid if you want to improve your chances at finding the one:
- “Let me tell you about my ex” – it doesn’t matter how long ago you broke up, no new date wants to hear about your past failed relationship. It screams baggage!
- “How many people have you slept with?” – it’s creepy and way too personal. If you start talking about explicit sexual details to a new date, then they’ll think you’re only after one thing. Keep it classy.
- “What sort of money do you earn?” – this is not a job interview. You’re not here to tick boxes and find out bank accounts. It suggests you’re shallow and money focused. Poor form.
- “I’m bad at relationships.” – Help! Please don’t tell your new date that you’re already broken. They’re sitting in front of you because they want a relationship, so give yourself a chance. Show some confidence.
- “I really struggle to control my temper.” – Anything to do with anger, temper, and aggression is a complete passion killer. It’s one of the quickest ways to scare people away!
- “Have you thought about losing some weight?” – Arghhhhhhh! Don’t ever, ever, ever, ever comment on a person’s weight. It’s a no go zone!
- “How soon can I meet your family?” – Needy and clingy! Pushing too hard to get into a new date’s life gives off and desperate smell. Just let things evolve naturally.
- “I can’t stand kids!” – There’s no coming back from this one. People love kids – end of story.
- “I can never just stop at one drink!” – Danger, danger! You’re telling your new date that heavy drinking, blackouts and loss of control are common place for you.
- “I love gaming every weekend.” – How old are you? You’re giving off an immature and unsocial vibe that’s going to push away dates that want a grown up!
Written by John Aiken. First appeared on datehub.com.au.
Related links:
5 things not to do after a break-up
The best websites to make new friends
How do you cope when you lose your life partner?