10 key tips to successful online dating
One of the hottest topics at the moment is how to be successful at online dating. This has become particularly important as more and more singles are turning to the internet to find their ideal partner.
This was recently confirmed in RSVP's annual Date of the Nation survey. They asked over 5,000 Australians to tell them about everything from their attitudes to online dating and thoughts about appropriate dating behaviour, to what they look for in an ideal mate and how soon they should have sex.
Amazingly, what they found was that 75% of Australians know someone that has met a partner through online dating! And 30% of Australians have tried online dating!
So with so many singles turning to the internet for their dating needs, here are 10 key tips to successful online dating:
1. Get clear about casual or serious
It's important that you understand exactly what you want from your online dating experience. You need to be specific about whether you want fun and light or serious and long-term. This will determine the type of site you join and whether you do all the leg work yourself or hand it over to a matchmaking system.
2. Have good, recent photos
Make it a priority to select some good photos of yourself. First impressions count, and people are going to be looking very closely at your pictures. They need to be recent ones that make you feel attractive. Ideally, you should have a head photo and one full body shot. Avoid photos that are old, show off too much flesh, have you in bad clothes, in compromising positions, are crowded with too many people or are bad quality. Also, be prepared to change these photos every few months to keep things fresh.
3. Make your profile stand out
Your profile needs to have a point of difference from all the others out there. Be honest in the way you describe yourself, and keep it short and interesting. Have an eye catching username that gives you confidence, and avoid spelling mistakes and poor grammar. If you struggle with this part of it - enlist the help of a friend to write it with you. Often they can tease out your good points and can come up with some great ideas to set you apart from the rest!
4. Be selective and choosey
Forget about the shotgun approach, it's time to get choosey and go after singles that want the same thing as you. One of the great aspects of online dating is that you can narrow down your search and be very selective about who you decide to date. So get clear about your preferences and deal breakers. The more specific you are, the more efficient you can be with your time.
5. Make your first email count
Your first contact is likely going to be an email so you need to send them something that's not boring or impersonal. Keep it short as you don't want to scare them off with too much intensity, and point out a couple of things that caught your attention in their profile. Stay away from clichés and comments about their body! This email will show them that you took some time to really take in their profile and that you're interested in taking it further.
6. Be honest
Honesty is the only approach to online dating. You might think that it's ok to lead someone on or start out with little white lies, but this will catch up with you in the long run. Instead, be transparent and open in your interactions and this will build trust and prevent any awkwardness if you decide to take it further with someone. This relates to everything from your photo and profile through to your emails and phone conversations.
7. Speak positively and shine
Nobody likes to be around people that are bitter or negative. You need to focus on keeping up a positive dialogue with the people you meet online. Avoid talking about your daily complaints, your past grudges or long standing issues you have with family or friends. Also, keep well away from getting down and angry about ex's and old negative relationship experiences. Honesty is good, but you must also show you're a confident person who has an optimistic approach to the world.
8. Get to know them before meeting them
It's important that you take some time to get to know them before leaping into anything. Whether you're looking for casual or serious - pace yourself. People don't like desperation or neediness and will run away if you try to push things along too quickly. So chat to them online, exchange texts and emails, and have several phone calls with them before meeting up for a first date. It shows that you've got a life and that you're not going to force this to happen.
9. Keep safe at all times
You must remember to keep yourself safe throughout the whole process. That means don't give out specific personal information (e.g. home phone number, residential address, financial details, intimate photos of yourself etc.) until you feel comfortable to do so. Set up an online email account that is safe and not related to your workplace, and have plenty of email and phone contact before agreeing to meet them. Finally, always have your first date in a public place like a café. Tell your friends where you are going and have your mobile phone with you at all times.
10. Be patient and never give up
Be resilient at all times and keep a strong positive mindset throughout the whole online dating process. Remind yourself that dating is a numbers game, and online sites are there to help you meet someone special. It's a process of elimination not rejection, and you're sifting through the wrong ones to get to the right one. It's not personal. You must stay patient, selective and positive at all times.
Have you found love online? Share your tips with other members of the Over60 community in the comments below.
First appeared on RSVP.com.au.
Related links:
The crucial quality to look for in a life partner
5 ways giving love is the key to relationship success
5 questions to ask yourself before dating after a divorce