Michelle Reed
Relationships

In love, do we really prefer a “type”?

Plenty of research has been commissioned over the years to determine what exactly it is that draws people together. The concept of “types” or a specific set of traits that an individual is drawn to in a partner is one of the key findings that are rehashed repeatedly. This draws on the idea that each of us have a list of sorts that details the kind of person we’d consider becoming involved with. What research is now asking is whether individuals’ preferences for a partner when single actually end up reflecting the traits and personality of the person they end up with. And the verdict? Inconclusive.

This is what we do know:

  1. When asked about their “ideal” partner, it’s often found that their current romantic partner matches these characteristics.
  2. When being presented with written descriptions of possible partners, people report being more attracted to those that roughly match their own preferences.
  3. Age plays a distinct role. Research has found that women tend to marry slightly older men and men slightly younger women, as is their preference from the onset.
  4. There is a stark difference between fantasy and reality. Research has found that an individuals preference for a partner often predict how much they like a written description but not how much they like actual people after meeting them.

The problem lies in the fact that humans as a species are unpredictable. People change their mind and slightly (or dramatically) alter their personalities when starting a relationship. There’s also plenty of grey area when it comes to the concept of initial attraction versus a concrete and prolonged relationship.

We therefore know a lot about people’s preferences but we know very little about how these preferences influence people’s decisions to begin romantic relationships with real others that do or do not match their preferences.

Food for thought, that’s for sure!

Related links:

Likeness with partner predicts how long you’ll last

10 great tips for surviving challenging moments in relationships

The 2 words people in relationships don’t say enough

Tags:
dating, relationships, marriage, couples