How to say no the nice way
We spend a lot of time in our lives saying “yes”. Whether it’s “yes” to a social event, to babysitting grandchildren or trying something new, opening your life up often comes with great rewards. Saying “yes” can make us undeniably happy. Paradoxically, it can also make us miserable. It is very easy to assume what experts sometimes call a “yes mindset”. Agreeing to do something becomes our default answer. Can you volunteer for XYZ next Tuesday? Well you usually have book club and coffee afterwards with a dear friend you only see monthly, something you look forward to but you feel you probably should agree to volunteering so you say yes, and rather than feeling good about it, you feel miserable and not a little bit antagonistic. Saying yes to things that don’t necessarily make us happy or serve us in some way can end up being a severe drain on our time and energy.
Of course there are some instances when it’s necessary to say yes, even when you’d rather be doing something else but sometimes it’s ok to say no. Here are three tips for accurately assessing whether saying yes is for the best.
- Before accepting an invitation have a think about whether you actually want to go to the occasion. Of course it’s lovely to be asked but if the thought of actually going fills you with dread, it’s ok to decline! A polite “Thank you but I can’t make it” is absolutely fine.
- When you need to make a decision, take a moment and just breathe. Think about what makes most sense in the moment. We all have 24 hours in a day think about how you can best use them.
- Enjoy your down time and don’t feel as if you have to fill it by saying yes or by justifying it. It’s ok to say no to plans even if you don’t have anything else specific to do. Time is precious so you need to make the most of it!
Related links:
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The two things people judge you on when they meet you