Small gestures are most important in relationships
It’s not grand gestures and lavish gifts that make love last but the little things that you do and say that show how much you care.
The Enduring Love project by Open University in Britain surveyed more than 5,000 people on their relationships and found, contrary to popular belief, it’s not big displays of love that count but the mundane, day-to-day gestures, like sharing a cup of coffee, that helped sustain a relationship and were crucial to relationship satisfaction.
“Surprise gifts and small acts of kindness were valued highly, with ‘a cup of tea’ being singled out as a significant sign of their partner's appreciation.
Bouquets of flowers and boxes of chocolates were seen as less important than the thoughtfulness behind the gesture,” the study states.
Jacqui Gabb, co-author of the project, noted, “Actions really do speak louder than words and many people consider a loving gesture to be as valuable as hearing ‘I love you’.
Grand romantic gestures, although appreciated, don't nurture a relationship as much as bringing your partner a cup of tea in bed, or watching TV together.”
The project identified sharing values, faith, beliefs, tastes, ambitions and interests with their partner, as well as expressions of intimacy and being aware of one another’s needs as important to relationship satisfaction.
It also found having children affected relationship quality more than any other factor and mothers are happiest in their life than any other group.
Co-author Janet Fink said: "With a tough economic climate, the rise in grey divorce and social media opening up new ways to start affairs, it isn't always easy to keep love alive today.
"However, our survey has shown that surviving adversities – even very difficult situations such as being out of work – can make a relationship much stronger. What doesn't break you can make you."
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