This simple phrase will stop gossip once and for all
Tired of gossip? Don’t want to get involved in other people’s secrets? Then use this simple phrase to stop gossipers in their tracks:
Why are you telling me this?
It’s simple and effective for a number of reasons. First, it questions the motives of the person telling it to you. People may consider gossip harmless and this question can give them pause. Secondly, it shows them that you are not interested in hearing what they have to say. The very act of gossiping requires two participants – one to tell and one to listen. By removing yourself from the equation, the act is nullified.
People gossip for a lot of reasons. Some feel powerful because they have a secret to divulge, others like to bring people down by revealing something unflattering about them. Gossip is also a kind of currency – people who feel they have nothing to offer a conversation feel they can prove their value by offering up some private information. They might think you will like them more because they have divulged this secret. Gossip also creates a bond between two people, the one telling and the one hearing.
The problem with gossip is that it often feels good at the time, for all the above reasons and more. The short terms rewards can distract us from the fact that we know we shouldn't talk about people behind their backs. The effects and impacts of gossip can be far reaching, and it is impossible to know if you could have done some real lasting damage. Gossip always complicates lives, rather than simplifying them.
So what can you do instead? The simplest solution is to avoid talking about other people’s lives when they are not present. Even a conversation we consider ‘helpful’ or ‘concerned’ can quickly descend into gossip, so it’s often easier to avoid it altogether. Then, make a personal commitment to only speaking about others in a positive manner. You’ll be amazed at how much of a boost this gives you as well.
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