What's love got to do with it?
L.O.V.E. If you’re lucky enough to have experienced it, you will know that falling in love can be a wonderful experience. In the early days everything is exciting, you want to know everything there is to know about the other person and tend to not want to leave each other's side. While this honeymoon stage is something that all new lovers goes through in the beginning, it would also be fair to say that in time, love can mean different things to different people.
While relationships can come in all shapes and sizes, and every person's experience will be different, there are different stages you can pinpoint that happen in most cases. For example, during the beginning, scientists would say your brain fills with feel-good chemicals such as noradrenaline and dopamine and this is known as “limerence”. You might otherwise recognise this as the part when you become intoxicated on love and are consumed by thoughts of your new partner. While many theorise that this stage only lasts 12 to 18 months, at which point the chemicals begin to fade, that is not to say this is the same for everyone.
This next stage, is often called the “attachment stage” of a relationship whereby you get comfortable with your partner and look to settle into a long-term relationship with them. This is where your experience of love changes and becomes very different for each person. You begin to really weigh up if this person is suited to you. This is when your personalities become highlighted, you more easily notice your difference and past experiences coming into play. Other factors that will also come into play now are your daily routines and obligations, friendship networks, involvement with family, approach to health and fitness and relationship expectations. Some of the more crucial things that you will also think about are how you both communicate and manage conflict, your parenting/grand-parenting styles, financial values and your goals for the future.
As these variables come to light it becomes clear that your experience of love will be different each time around. And while everyone comes with history and their own unique life experience, you need to keep an open mind and realise that every experience of love is going to be different and that is ok. If you can try to not expect love to be the same and find yourself in a place where you can embrace each new relationship, then you will have the best chance of seeing how you feel and giving each experience the chance and space it deserves to grow into something that might just end up being wonderful.
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