The day I smacked my grandson
Anne Marr 68, recounts the day she went against her daughter’s wishes and smacked her grandson.
My daughter and her son moved in with me and husband. Life as retired pensioners changed and adjustments needed to happen. My daughter had a full-time job so my partner and I cared for our 22-month old grandson. We were lucky. I know many grandparents caring for three or more grandchildren – they deserve a medal.
At the beginning my daughter said to me, “Now Mum, I have a no smack policy so you’re not allowed to hit him at all, ok”. “Well what do I do if he is naughty?” I asked. “Put him in his timeout corner for three minutes” she replied. That didn’t seem like much of a punishment to me, but she assured me that three minutes is a long time for a child. Well this worked ok for a while, but as he grew, getting him into the time out corner became impossible. By three years of age, he could run faster than we could. Putting him in timeout just wasn’t happening. I couldn’t catch him and he just wasn’t listening. The final straw came.
Treating it like a trampoline, I caught him jumping on our couch. My grandmother’s china cabinet was only a few feet from the couch and I could see a terrible accident looming.
“Stop doing that now it’s dangerous. If you fall into the cabinet the glass will break and you’ll get hurt,” I asserted. He laughed and kept jumping. I repeated the request twice. It fell on deaf ears. After giving him his third warning I said, “Stop or you’ll get a smack”. “You can’t do that,” he replied and kept jumping.
Before he could jump off and run, I quickly grabbed him and gave him two quick smacks on the legs. Nothing too hard, but enough to sting a little. Well, he was so shocked that he started screaming, “I’ll tell my mummy on you. You’re in big trouble”. Then ran off to his bedroom crying, which was actually his timeout corner. Good, I thought, danger averted.
A short time later my daughter arrived home and immediately grandson ran to her crying, “Grandma hit me, grandma hit me”. My daughter looked at me. I said quickly said, “Sorry love, your no smack policy broke today”. I proceeded to tell her what had happened and why. Well I’m pleased to say my daughter let common sense prevail, and said to her son, “You deserved that smack. You didn’t listen to grandma who was trying to stop you from hurting yourself. She has my permission to do this again if you’re in danger, so you’d better do as she tells you in future if you don’t want another smack. Now, say sorry to grandma and promise her you will listen.” I got a begrudging “Sorry grandma”.
Happy to say that was the first and only time I actually had to smack my grandson. After that, whenever I said “Stop or else you know what will happen," he would stop.
As he grew older, taking away his favourite toy for a day, if discipline was needed, proved to be very successful. He’s about to turn 12. He and his mother still live with us and he’s a caring and respectful boy. If you love them, sometimes the no smack policy needs to break.
Have you found a no-smack policy works for you? If you have a story like this to share or another tale about caring for grandkids, we’d love to hear from you. Please email laura@oversixty.com.au
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