Relationships

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Behind Queen Victoria’s most controversial friendship

<p>The relationship between Queen Victoria and her Indian attendant Abdul Karim was so abhorred by the royal family that his existence was scrubbed from royal history after the monarch’s death in 1901.</p> <p>But remaining records and diaries show how the unconventional friendship stood despite the open disapproval from the people around the Queen.</p> <p>Abdul was 24 when he first met Victoria, who had been christened Empress of India, at the royal’s Golden Jubilee in 1887. The young Muslim was sent as a “gift from India” to help her address the Indian princes at the banquet. In her diaries, Victoria recounted her first impression of Abdul as “tall with a fine serious countenance”.</p> <p>She soon asked him to teach her Urdu – then known as Hindustani – and later bestowed him the title of “Munshi” (“teacher”) and other promotions.</p> <p>Historians noted that while the developing friendship seemed to be platonic, it was strangely intimate nonetheless. Victoria and Abdul were constantly travelling together and at one point spent the night at the Scottish cottage of Glassat Shiel. Abdul and his wife were provided residences on the main royal estates in the UK and land in India. He was also given other perks, including a personal carriage, the best opera and banquet seats, multiple portrait commissions, and features in the Court Circulars and local gazettes.</p> <p>Shrabani Basu, author of <em>Victoria and Abdul: The True Story of the Queen’s Closest Confidant</em>, said Victoria signed letters to Abdul as “your closest friend” and “your loving mother”.</p> <p>“On some occasions, she even signed off her letters with a flurry of kisses – a highly unusual thing to do at that time,” Basu told <em><a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-south-asia-12670110">BBC</a></em>.</p> <p>“It was unquestionably a passionate relationship – a relationship which I think operated on many different layers in addition to the mother-and-son ties between a young Indian man and a woman who at the time was over 60 years old.”</p> <p>Abdul’s favoured position sparked hostility from others in the palace. “The Queen says it is ‘race prejudice’ and that we are jealous of the poor Munshi,” Victoria’s assistant private secretary Fritz Ponsonby wrote in a letter.</p> <p>Historian Carolly Erickson said in <em>Her Little Majesty</em>: “For a dark-skinned Indian to be put very nearly on a level with the queen’s white servants was all but intolerable, for him to eat at the same table with them, to share in their daily lives was viewed as an outrage.”</p> <p>In her final wishes, the Queen stipulated that Abdul would be one of the principal mourners at her funeral.</p> <p>But her son Edward VII sacked Abdul a few hours after her funeral in January 1901 and <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/uncovered-hidden-friendship-queen-victoria-indian-servant-abdul/">reportedly</a> had all the letters between the two found on the royal premises burned. Her daughter Beatrice also removed all references to Abdul in the Queen’s journals. Abdul was soon deported back to India and died eight years later in Agra.</p> <p>Basu said she had great difficulty tracking down Abdul’s descendants until they spoke out after seeing the author’s interview in a local publication.</p> <p>“The portrayal of Karim in Western biographies is of such a rogue, of someone who manipulated the Queen and got famous. They didn’t want to acknowledge him,” Basu told <em><a href="https://time.com/4941313/victoria-and-abdul-true-story-shrabani-basu/">TIME</a></em>.</p> <p>“In a way I’ve united them with their ancestor, which is a wonderful feeling. They now know not to be ashamed of him.”</p> <p>Basu’s book on the unusual friendship has been adapted into the 2017 feature film titled <em>Victoria &amp; Abdul</em>, starring Judi Dench and Ali Fazal.</p>

Relationships

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Is Archie falling behind? Duchess Meghan says one-year-old lacks social skills

<div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text "> <p>Meghan Markle is reportedly worried about her son Archie as he doesn't have enough interaction with toddlers his own age.</p> <p>Meghan also wishes she could join a 'Mommy and Me' to be around other new mothers.</p> <p>"Meghan said Archie needs to learn emotional and social skills by being around other young children, something he can't do with adults," an insider revealed to <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8498177/Meghan-bemoans-Archie-lack-social-skills-doesnt-interact-toddlers.html" target="_blank" class="_e75a791d-denali-editor-page-rtflink"><em>Daily Mail</em></a>.</p> <p>"Meghan said ideally they (she and Archie) would be in a baby group class that met in person a couple of times a week. This would give Archie the opportunity to play with other toddlers and help develop his brain."</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B41zRstlfEY/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B41zRstlfEY/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (@sussexroyal)</a> on Nov 14, 2019 at 1:22am PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>There is little opportunity for Archie to be around other toddlers as the Sussex family have been holed up in a mega-mansion in Los Angeles since March.</p> <p>Meghan is well aware that this could have an impact on Archie developmentally.</p> <p>"Meghan said she would love to be part of a 'Mommy and Me' community, but knows this is impossible even if there was no COVID-19 because of who she is. She said she's just too well known to do normal things," the friend said.  </p> <p>"Meghan does take advantage of connecting with others online and on Zoom, but says it's just not the same as in person. </p> <p>"Plus the consistency of biweekly 'Mommy and Me' classes would be good for Archie and a place where she could just be a mom and make new lifelong friends."</p> <p>The Sussex family have only been spotted out of their home a handful of times since their move to LA, but have been making video messages for various causes.</p> </div> </div> </div>

Relationships

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Michael Clarke and Pip Edwards are officially a couple

<div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text "> <p>Cricketer Michael Clarke has moved on after his split with ex-wife Kyly and is now dating fashion designer Pip Edwards.</p> <p>The <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.smh.com.au/culture/celebrity/francesca-packer-barham-goes-public-with-casual-boyfriend-20200627-p556s5.html" target="_blank" class="_e75a791d-denali-editor-page-rtflink"><em>Sydney Morning Herald</em></a> has reported that Clarke confirmed the relationship to a well-placed source who said that they are keeping their relationship "low key" for the sake of their children.</p> <p>Clarke has a daughter with his ex wife Kyly, four-year-old Kelsey Lee and Edwards has a 12-year-old son called Justice.</p> <p>The pair were seen holding hands after a romantic walk in Rose Bay.</p> <p>They are understood to have first gotten together after the former cricket captain split from his wife in September last year.</p> <p>Rugby league journalist Phil Rothfield alluded to the new woman in Clarke's life during a segment on the <em>Big Sports Breakfast</em> program on Monday morning.</p> <p>Rothfield mentioned he put Clarke in the “spotted” section of his newspaper column, but didn’t include who he was spotted with.</p> <p>“You know what? I did the right thing by him, I didn’t mention your female company at the table,” Rothfield said as part of their cheerful chat.</p> <p>Clarke laughed, responding: “Why not? Listen buddy, you can always mention my female company. How dare you leave that out.”</p> <p>The rumours initially started after Clarke was working as a consultant for Edward's business, but the pair denied being romantically involved in February.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B5jy-FApM-X/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B5jy-FApM-X/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">Great meeting this afternoon with team @p.e.nation exciting project ahead 👊🏻@clairetreg @pipedwards</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/michaelclarkeofficial/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank"> Michael Clarke</a> (@michaelclarkeofficial) on Dec 1, 2019 at 10:04pm PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“Pip and Michael have been friends for 12 years,” Edwards’ representative told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/" target="_blank" class="_e75a791d-denali-editor-page-rtflink"><em>The Daily Telegraph</em></a> in February. “He is currently consulting with P.E. Nation.”</p> <p>At the same time, Clarke’s representative Sasha Armstrong said: “Michael has known Pip for over a decade and is currently working with both Pip and Claire on a special project with P.E Nation.”</p> <p>Since then, the pair have been spotted on romantic walks and dining at restaurants in Bondi.</p> </div> </div> </div>

Relationships

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She said yes! Samantha Armytage shows off engagement ring

<p><em>Sunrise<span> </span></em><span>host Samantha Armytage has announced her engagement to boyfriend Richard Lavender by flashing her diamond ring on an Instagram post to her 230,000 followers.</span></p> <p><span>Armytage has been dating Lavender since at least November last year, after they officially confirmed their relationship to the media – and it seems to be going well.</span></p> <p><span>“What a year …” Armytage captioned the photo which she posted to Instagram.</span></p> <p><span>Showing off her engagement ring, the 43-year-old was rugged up in a beanie and puffer jacket.</span></p> <p><span>The couple have kept their relationship largely under wraps.</span></p> <p><span>On Valentine's Day this year, Richard called into </span><em>Sunrise</em><span> live on air to give her a romantic surprise.</span></p> <p><span>“It's Rich! Happy Valentine's Day,” Richard said.</span></p> <p><span>“I'm much more romantic than Sammy,” he added. “You told me you wanted a surprise.”</span></p> <p><span>Richard went on to reveal that he had made Sam a gift for the special day and said he had been trying to “throw her off the scent” to surprise her.</span></p> <p><span>Speaking to </span><em>WHO</em><span> magazine's Sexiest People issue, described Lavender as a “decent” and “very honest” man and added that the most attractive thing about him was he's “comfortable in his own skin”.</span></p> <p><span>Richard owns a 40-hectare property in Bowral, NSW.</span></p> <p><span>Sam also owns a $2.2 million home in the same country town. </span></p>

Relationships

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Lisa Curry pens rare and heartfelt message to ex-husband Grant Kenny

<p><span>Their relationship may have ended in 2009 but it seems former Olympic swimmer Lisa Curry is still on good terms with her ex-husband, former ironman Grant Kenny.</span></p> <p><span>Lisa took to her social media profiles to wish the father of her three children a happy birthday in a rare public display of affection, while also revealing the sweet nickname she has for him.  </span></p> <p><span>“GK doesn’t do social media … so I’ll do it for you today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GK. Have a great day,” said the 58-year-old alongside a photo of Grant cradling his grandson Flynn.</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CBZCCu-D1h-/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CBZCCu-D1h-/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">GK doesn’t do social media ...so I’ll do it for you today😊 HAPPY BIRTHDAY GK 🎂 Have a great day 🤗 @jaimileekenny 💕@morgangruell💕 @jettkenny 💙💕💙💕</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/lisacurry/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank"> Lisa Curry AO</a> (@lisacurry) on Jun 13, 2020 at 2:55pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span>Lisa also tagged her three adult children they share together, daughters Jaimi Lee and Morgan and son Jet, while Grant shares seven-year-old daughter Trixie Box with television presenter Fifi Box.</span></p> <p><span>Her post was inundated with well wishes from fans, as they praised the </span><em>I’m A Celeb</em><span> star’s approach to family.</span></p> <p><span>"You're amazing Lisa. Such a happy beautiful human. Your family is so blessed to have your diversity," one fan wrote.</span></p> <p><span>"That one is a bit special!! Just beautiful and yes Grant still looking pretty good," another added.</span></p> <p><span>"Happy birthday to an Aussie legend Grant Kenny," a third said.</span></p> <p><span>Lisa and Grant separated in 2009 and officially divorced in 2017 after tying the knot in 1986.</span></p> <p><span>Last month, Lisa explained to </span><em>Now To Love</em><span> and that she and Grant have always strived to be harmonious co-parents.</span></p> <p><span>"Grant and I as parents, we always said we will always be there for all our kids, for everything that they do," she explained.</span></p> <p><span>"Every success, every failure, every try, everything it didn't matter. Just being there and being proud is really important as parents."</span></p>

Relationships

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Bindi Irwin shares touching wedding anniversary tribute to Steve and Terri

<p>Daughter Bindi Irwin shared a sweet tribute to her late father Steve Irwin and her mother Terri Irwin on their 28th wedding anniversary.</p> <p>She shared the tribute on Instagram, which showed Terri cradling a baby kangaroo and Steve has his arm around Terri in his signature khaki outfit.</p> <p>“Mum &amp; Dad, Happy Anniversary. There are no words to describe how much I love you both. Thank you for teaching me and Robert the meaning of unconditional love,” Bindi wrote.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CBAo2TehMse/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CBAo2TehMse/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">‪Mum &amp; Dad,‬ Happy Anniversary.‬ There are no words to describe how much I love you both. Thank you for teaching me and Robert the meaning of unconditional love. ❤️‬</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/bindisueirwin/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank"> Bindi Irwin</a> (@bindisueirwin) on Jun 4, 2020 at 3:33am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Steve and Terri were married in Terri’s hometown of Eugene, Oregon on June 4th, 1992.</p> <p>The pair were married for 14 years before Steve was killed after being pierced in the chest by a stingray barb while filming a wildlife documentary in 2006.</p> <p>Bindi has spoken about how the pair are still soulmates despite her father’s passing.</p> <p>"My dad is still very much my mum's soul mate. And I think that no matter what, Mum always says that they'll always be married," Bindi told<span> </span><em>E! News</em><span> </span>in 2017, on what would've been her parents' 25th wedding anniversary.</p> <p>Terri also made a tribute, explaining that Steve asked her to marry him in Australia Zoo.</p> <p>"It was 28 years ago today, here at @AustraliaZoo, that Steve asked me to marry him. Life is constantly changing. Love is forever," she tweeted.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">It was 28 years ago today, here at <a href="https://twitter.com/AustraliaZoo?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@AustraliaZoo</a>, that Steve asked me to marry him. Life is constantly changing. Love is forever. <a href="https://t.co/KKBRjEQwvq">pic.twitter.com/KKBRjEQwvq</a></p> — Terri Irwin (@TerriIrwin) <a href="https://twitter.com/TerriIrwin/status/1223870032502906880?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">February 2, 2020</a></blockquote> <p>Bindi followed in her father’s footsteps as she was married in Australia zoo and her husband Chandler Powell proposed at the wildlife park in 2019.</p>

Relationships

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Love lockdown: How to tell if your relationship will survive the pandemic

<p>Life in lockdown has been tough on many relationships. But negotiating the transition back to “normal” as restrictions continue to lift could also be a challenge for couples.</p> <p>So what are some of the key factors that affect how relationships fare during such times?</p> <p>To answer this, I’m going to draw on an important model in relationship science called the <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-36558-001">vulnerability stress adaptation model</a>.</p> <p><strong>3 important factors</strong></p> <p>As its name suggests, the <a href="http://sk.sagepub.com/reference/humanrelationships/n554.xml">model</a> proposes three broad factors that affect relationship outcomes: vulnerabilities, stressors and adaptions.</p> <p><strong>Vulnerabilities</strong> are any kind of factor that makes it harder for a person to maintain enduring and satisfying relationships. Vulnerabilities can include mental health issues, personality traits (such as neuroticism), past bad relationships, addiction, and the like.</p> <p><strong>Stressors</strong> are challenging life events and experiences external to the relationship, but which put a strain on maintaining a lasting and satisfying bond. These can include financial hardship, work stress, and difficult relationships with extended family or friends.</p> <p><strong>Adaptations</strong> reflect the skills and capabilities couples possess to effectively deal with and adapt to challenging circumstances. Adaptations can include a couple’s sense of fun or humour, constructive ways of handling conflict and solving problems, and supporting one another.</p> <p>Stressors and vulnerabilities increase negative relationship behaviours (such as criticism and insensitivity), and in turn increase negative relationship outcomes (dissatisfaction and relationship breakdown).</p> <p>On the other hand, adaptations buffer the effects of stress and reduce the risk of relationship dissatisfaction and breakdown.</p> <p><strong>Framing this model around COVID-19</strong></p> <p>The social distancing rules enforced during the pandemic have seen couples spending long periods of time together, often in close quarters.</p> <p>Accounts from across the world show us not all couples have adjusted well. China reported an increase in the number of married couples <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-31/divorces-spike-in-china-after-coronavirus-quarantines">filing for divorce</a>. Worryingly, incidents of <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-52157620">domestic abuse</a> may also have increased.</p> <p>Lengthy periods of close contact may have acted as a stressor which intensified negative relationship behaviours and dissatisfaction, particularly for people with existing personal vulnerabilities.</p> <p>The changes associated with social distancing rules, such as working from home and supervising home schooling, are additional stressors. These too are likely to have exacerbated personal vulnerabilities and destructive relationship behaviours for some couples.</p> <p>Some vulnerable couples may be able to keep their relationship stable, provided that the stress of social isolation and other COVID-19-related stressors remain low, or that supports are in place to minimise stress.</p> <p>However, these same couples may encounter problems if stressors increase (for example, one partner suddenly loses their job) or supports are removed (such as from friends or family).</p> <p>Similarly, high-functioning couples may cope well with the challenges of social restriction and other COVID-19 hardships. But, if the stressors become too great, they’re likely to experience declines in relationship satisfaction.</p> <p><strong>What’s the ideal?</strong></p> <p>People in loving and supportive relationships are likely to cope more effectively with the enforcement and relaxation of social distancing guidelines (and other challenges, whether related to the pandemic or not).</p> <p>These are typically couples who constructively deal with conflict by working together towards solving issues, take on each others’ perspectives, and respond sensitively when the other is feeling stressed.</p> <p>That’s not to say these couples never argue and don’t sometimes get frustrated with one another. But their adaptive ways of communicating and supporting each other mean these couples are likely to fare better.</p> <p><strong>There’s help if you need it</strong></p> <p>Some couples may benefit from <a href="https://guilfordjournals.com/doi/abs/10.1521/jscp.2007.26.5.609">relationship education programs</a> that teach communication skills and how to manage conflict constructively.</p> <p>For couples that require more intensive support, couple therapy can be <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2016-03880-001">effective</a>.</p> <p>These options are available online.</p> <p>As well as working on the relationship itself, the alleviation of stressors can help a relationship.</p> <p>Studies have found that for couples and families experiencing stressors such as economic hardship or housing instability, providing them with financial aid, jobseeker programs and affordable housing can <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X16300057">improve relationship satisfaction</a> and reduce family breakdown to a similar extent as relationship education or counselling.</p> <p>Hopefully, some of the measures the government has put in place, such as JobKeeper, have reduced stress for couples.</p> <p>The easing of social distancing restrictions may also significantly reduce stress in some couples, shrinking “relationship cracks” that emerged during lockdown.</p> <p>You may need to address these cracks if they resurface, but reductions in coronavirus-related stressors may well see transient relationship problems disappear.</p> <p><strong>A return to normal won’t be the answer for all relationships</strong></p> <p>Unfortunately, for some couples, the easing of restrictions may intensify relationship conflicts and dissatisfaction.</p> <p>For example, if one person has health anxieties and the other is highly impulsive, they may hold very different attitudes on how to navigate situations such as social gatherings.</p> <p>These differences are likely to create conflict that may increase dissatisfaction and relationship difficulties, particularly if both members of the couple typically respond to conflict in destructive ways.</p> <p>So the easing of social restrictions may not have the same outcome for all. It depends in part on a couple’s existing vulnerabilities and their way of handling conflict and supporting one another.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/135824/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gery-karantzas-178159">Gery Karantzas</a>, Associate professor in Social Psychology / Relationship Science, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/love-lockdown-the-pandemic-has-put-pressure-on-many-relationships-but-heres-how-to-tell-if-yours-will-survive-135824">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Grandma bans grandchild, 5, from visiting her home

<p>A shocked mum has lashed out at her husband’s family after the grandmother banned their five-year-old daughter from visiting.</p> <p>The reason for the ban is due to a nickname given to the grandchild by the grandmother.</p> <p>The couple’s daughter is named Collette, but her mother-in-law has given her a nickname called “Letters”.</p> <p>Mum admits that “it’s not the greatest nickname in the world”, but it hasn’t been a problem until now.</p> <p>Her daughter recently asked her mum why grandma calls her letters.</p> <p>“Why does grandma call me letters? My name is Colette," she said.</p> <p>Mum explained that it was a nickname, but Colette quickly decided that it was weird and didn’t like it being used.</p> <p>Mum took charge and politely said to Colette that she can asked to be called by her name if she doesn’t like the nickname.</p> <p>Shortly after the exchange, her husband took their daughter Colette to visit his family, but received an angry phone call from her mother-in-law after the visit.</p> <p>"She tells me that it was really rude for Colette to say she didn't like her nickname and that I shouldn't have told her to say that,” the mum explained.</p> <p>"She said I was raising her to be bratty. She also said that Colette couldn't come over until she apologised and says that she likes being called Letters."</p> <p>"That last part p***ed me off. I told her 'what the f***? You're banning a five-year-old from your house for not liking a stupid nickname'. Then I hung up on her."</p> <p>Asking if she had overreacted to what happened, one Reddit user was quick to defend her daughter’s choice.</p> <p>"Good for you for teaching your daughter to stand up for herself and for doubling down by standing up for her. MIL needs to apologise to the 5-year old for not respecting her name request,” one commenter said.</p> <p>A second commented: "Your daughter is being more mature than her."</p> <p>"I’m honestly just sort of in disbelief your mother-in-law could be old enough to be a grandma and act like that,” a third commenter said.</p>

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What Australian birds can teach us about choosing a partner and making it last

<p>Love, sex and mate choice are topics that never go out of fashion among humans or, surprisingly, among some Australian birds. For these species, choosing the right partner is a driver of evolution and affects the survival and success of a bird and its offspring.</p> <p>There is no better place than Australia to observe and study strategies for bird mate choice. Modern parrots and songbirds are Gondwanan creations – they <a href="https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/abs/10.1098/rspb.2000.1368">first evolved in Australia</a> and only much later populated the rest of the world.</p> <p>Here, we’ll examine the sophisticated way some native birds choose a good mate, and make the relationship last.</p> <p><strong>Single mothers and seasonal flings</strong></p> <p>For years, research has concentrated on studying birds in which sexual selection may be as simple as males courting females. Males might display extra bright feathers or patterns, perform a special song or dance or, like <a href="https://www.pnas.org/content/109/51/20980">the bowerbird</a>, build a sophisticated display mound.</p> <p>In these species, females choose the best mate on the market. But the males do not stick around after mating to raise their brood.</p> <p>These reproductive strategies apply only to about tiny proportion of birds worldwide.</p> <p>Then there are “lovers for a season”, which account for another small percentage of songbirds. Males and females may raise a brood together for one season, then go their separate ways.</p> <p>These are not real partnerships at all – they’re simply markets for reproduction.</p> <p><strong>Birds that stick together</strong></p> <p>But what about the other birds – those that raise offspring in pairs, just as humans often do? Those that form partnerships for more than a season, and in some cases, a lifetime?</p> <p>More than 90% of birds worldwide fall into this “joint parenting” category – and in Australia, many of them stay together for a long time. Indeed, Australia is a hotspot for these <a href="https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rspb.2005.3458">cooperative</a> and long-term affairs.</p> <p>This staggering figure has no equal in the animal kingdom. Even among mammals, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j.1420-9101.1992.5040719.x">couples are rare</a>; only <a href="https://www.panmacmillan.com.au/9781760554200/">5% of all mammals</a>, including humans, pair up and raise kids together.</p> <p>So how do long-bonding Australian birds choose partners, and what’s their secret to relationship success?</p> <p><strong>Lifelong attachment</strong></p> <p>The concept of <a href="https://www.brookings.edu/blog/social-mobility-memos/2014/02/10/opposites-dont-attract-assortative-mating-and-social-mobility/">assortative mating</a> is often used to explain how humans form lasting relationships. As the theory goes, we choose mates with similar traits, lifestyle and background to our own.</p> <p>In native birds that form long-lasting bonds, including butcherbirds, drongos and cockatoos, differences between the sexes are small or non-existent – that is, they are “monomorphic”. Males and females may look alike in size and plumage, or may both sing, build nests and provide equally for offspring.</p> <p>So, how do they choose each other, if not by colour, song, dance or plumage difference? There’s some research to suggest their choices are based on personality.</p> <p>Many bird owners and aviculturists would attest that birds have individual personalities. They may, for example, be gentle, tolerant, submissive, aggressive, confident, curious, fearful or sociable.</p> <p>Research has not conclusively established which bird personalities are mutually attractive. But so far it seems similarities or familiarity, rather than opposites, attract.</p> <p>Cockatiel breeders now even <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1439-0310.2009.01713.x">use personality assessments</a> similar to those used for show dogs.</p> <p>There is practical and scientific proof to support this approach. In breeding contexts, seemingly incompatible birds may be forced together. In such cases, they are unlikely to reproduce and <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19922534">may not even</a> interact with each other. For example, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3145185/">research</a> on Gouldian finches has shown that in mismatched pairs, stress hormone levels were elevated over several weeks, which delayed egg laying.</p> <p>Conversely, well-matched zebra finch pairs have <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19922534">been shown</a> to have greater reproductive success. Well designed experiments have also <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4569426/">shown</a> these birds to change human-assigned partners once free to do so, suggesting firm partner preferences.</p> <p><strong>More than just sex</strong></p> <p>Now to some extraordinary, little-known facets of behaviour in some native birds.</p> <p>Bird bonds are not always or initially about reproduction. Most cockatoos take five to seven years to mature sexually. <a href="https://www.publish.csiro.au/book/7677/">Magpies</a>, apostlebirds and white winged choughs can’t seriously think about reproducing until they are five or six years old.</p> <p>In the interim, they form friendships. Some become childhood sweethearts long before they get “married” and reproduce.</p> <p>Socially monogamous birds, such as most Australian cockatoos and parrots, pay meticulous attention to each other. They reaffirm bonds by preening, roosting and flying together in search of food and water.</p> <p>Even not-so-cuddly native songbirds such as magpies or corvids have <a href="https://www.panmacmillan.com.au/9781760554200/">long term partnerships</a> and fly, feed and roost closely together.</p> <p><strong>All in the mind</strong></p> <p>Bird species that pair up for life, and devote the most time to raising offspring, are generally also the <a href="https://www.publish.csiro.au/book/7130/">most intelligent</a> (when measured by brain mass relative to body weight).</p> <p>Such species tend to live for a <a href="https://www.publish.csiro.au/book/7130/">long time</a> as well – sometimes four times longer than birds of similar weight range in the northern hemisphere.</p> <p>So why is this? The brain chews up lots of energy and needs the best nutrients. It also needs time to reach full growth. Parental care for a long period, as many Australian birds provide, is the best way to maximise brain development. It requires a strong bond between the parents, and a commitment to raising offspring over the long haul.</p> <p>Interestingly, bird and human brains have some similar architecture, and the same range of important neurotransmitters and hormones. Some of these may allow long-term attachments.</p> <p>Powerful hormones that regulate stress and induce positive emotions are well developed in both humans and birds. These include oxytocin (which plays a part in social recognition and sexual behaviour) and serotonin (which helps regulate and modulate mood, sleep, anxiety, sexuality, and appetite).</p> <p>The dopamine system also <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27757971">strongly influences</a> the way pair bonds are formed and maintained in primates – including humans – and in birds.</p> <p>Birds even <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26211371">produce the hormone prolactin</a>, once associated only with mammals. This <a href="https://academic.oup.com/auk/article/107/4/718/5191791">plays a role</a> in keeping parents sitting on their clutch of eggs, including male birds that share in the brooding.</p> <p><strong>The power of love</strong></p> <p>Given the above, one is led to the surprising conclusion that cooperation, and long-term bonds in couples, is as good for birds as it is for humans. The strategy has arguably led both species to becoming the most successful and widely distributed on Earth.</p> <p>With so many of Australia’s native birds declining in numbers, learning as much as possible about their behaviour, including how they form lasting relationships, is an urgent task.</p> <p><em>Much of the information referred to in this article is drawn from Gisela Kaplan’s books <a href="https://www.panmacmillan.com.au/9781760554200/">Bird Bonds</a>. See also <a href="https://www.publish.csiro.au/book/7130/">Bird Minds</a> and <a href="https://www.publish.csiro.au/book/7762/">Tawny Frogmouth</a></em><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/125734/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gisela-kaplan-2401">Gisela Kaplan</a>, Emeritus Professor in Animal Behaviour, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-australian-birds-can-teach-us-about-choosing-a-partner-and-making-it-last-125734">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Kylie Minogue shares blast from the past

<p>Australian pop legend Kylie Minogue has shared a number of nostalgic photos of her and old cast flame Jason Donovan, to mark his birthday.</p> <p>Minogue only just celebrated her birthday last week, but that didn’t stop her from sending her former on-screen and off-screen boyfriend on<span> </span>Neighbours, well wishes for his big day.</p> <p>The pop singer and Donovan were Australia’s most popular couple on Ramsay Street when they played Charlene Mitchell and Scott Robinson in the Australian soap in the late 1980s.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CA4xKHMA3cU/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CA4xKHMA3cU/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Kylie Minogue (@kylieminogue)</a> on Jun 1, 2020 at 2:12am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Of course, they also shared a special connection in real life too.</p> <p>"What amazing times!", Minogue wrote as she shared the throwback photographs to celebrate Donovan’s 52nd birthday.</p> <p>Fans were excited to take the trip down memory lane, with more than 34,000 people liking Minogue's post.</p> <p>"The original IT couple," one Instagram user said.</p> <p>"Suddenly you're seeing me...just the way I am" another person wrote, quoting Angry Anderson's<span> </span>Suddenly, the song played during Scott and Charlene's wedding day episode.</p> <p>In 2018, the pair reunited during a gig at Hyde Park, when Donovan legendarily joined Minogue on stage to perform<span> </span>Especially For You.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CAvnBJ8AutI/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CAvnBJ8AutI/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">Birthday DONE!!! I raise my glass to love and to all of you!!! 🌸🥰🍷🍉💖 Thank you once again for your birthday wishes. 😘😘😘</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/kylieminogue/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank"> Kylie Minogue</a> (@kylieminogue) on May 28, 2020 at 12:50pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The singer also turned 52 just a few days before her old flame and to mark the momentous occasion, she opened her own wine label.</p> <p>The star said that despite the wine launch, she would be having a quiet birthday.</p> <p>"I'll be at home and no doubt spend some time talking with family and friends," she said.</p> <p>"I'll most definitely be having a glass (or two) of rose to celebrate and have so much gratitude for my birthday, my family and my friends."</p>

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Etiquette rules even experts don’t follow anymore

<p><span>According to etiquette expert Peggy Post, times change, but manners, which she defines as a “sensitive awareness of the feelings of others,” remain constant. “If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use.” The rules of etiquette are there to help smooth social interactions, but they aren’t intended to take the place of ‘manners’. That’s why etiquette rules that cease serving smooth social interactions eventually cease to exist.</span></p> <p><strong>A man should stand to greet a woman</strong></p> <div class="tg-container categorySection detailSection"> <div id="primary" class="contentAreaLeft"> <div id="page2" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-description"> <p>It wasn’t all that long ago that it was proper etiquette for a man to stand when greeting a woman entering the room. But today, standing up is correct etiquette whenever anyone greets another person. The body language of standing sends a signal to the person you’re greeting that you’re eager to greet that person, etiquette expert, Maralee McKee explains. Consider it ‘rising to the occasion,’ whatever your gender.</p> <p><strong>Ladies are served first</strong></p> </div> </div> </div> <div id="page3" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-description"> <p>Traditional etiquette holds that at a seated meal, women are served first, going clockwise around the table. The men are then served, also going clockwise. But as you may or may not have noticed, the restaurant industry is quietly redefining the etiquette surrounding who gets served first to a more gender-neutral and overall efficient model, reports <em>Eater</em>, and that will likely affect the order of service in private homes as well as in restaurants.</p> <p><strong>Don't shake a woman's hand unless she offers</strong></p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="tg-container categorySection detailSection"> <div id="primary" class="contentAreaLeft"> <div id="page4" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-description"> <p>It used to be that ‘a man has no right to take a lady’s hand until it is offered,’ as was noted in one Victorian-age guide to etiquette. And it wasn’t all that long ago that people still followed this rule. In fact as recently as 2000, in GQ’s guide to handshake etiquette, the rule is clearly stated, ‘What’s proper is for the woman to offer her hand first.’ This is no longer the case. “Today, a man does not need to wait for a woman to offer her hand before he extends his. Whether you are a man or a woman, always remember to shake hands,” advises Emily Post. It’s a simple gesture that can make a big impact.</p> <p><strong>Wedding gifts should be based on the host's price per head</strong></p> </div> </div> </div> <div id="page5" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-image">At one time, many people were under the impression that wedding gifts should match the host’s cost per plate at the reception. If this was ever actually proper (which wedding planning site, <em>The Knot</em>, calls into question), it no longer applies. As <em>The Knot</em> points out, using the cost per plate as a guide requires guests to ask nosy questions of the host. A current and more sensible rule of thumb is: give a gift in the price range that makes sense for your budget as gift-giver.</div> <div class="slide-image"></div> <div class="slide-image"><strong>You have a year to send a wedding gift</strong></div> </div> </div> <div id="page6" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-description"> <p>It used to be that the rules of etiquette permitted you to wait a full year after attending a wedding to send a wedding gift to the ‘newlyweds.’ And why that was isn’t even clear to etiquette experts, who might wonder whether the idea was to wait to see if the couple made it through the first year of marriage. Nowadays, it’s proper to send a wedding gift within a month (or sooner!) after the wedding.</p> <div class="at-below-post addthis_tool" data-url="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/etiquette-rules-even-experts-dont-follow-anymore"><strong>The man pays for the meal</strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="tg-container categorySection detailSection"> <div id="primary" class="contentAreaLeft"> <div id="page7" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-image"></div> <div class="slide-image">Gone are the days of men being obligated to pay for the meals of the women with whom they dine. Going ‘Dutch’ is entirely appropriate, particularly when two equals mutually make a plan. Otherwise, the rule is that whoever does the inviting pays for the meal, according to the Emily Post Institute.</div> <div class="slide-image"></div> <div class="slide-image"><strong>A man must hold the door for a woman</strong></div> </div> </div> <div id="page8" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-description"> <p>It’s not that chivalry is dead, explains McKee. It’s that these days chivalry, like everything else, has moved into a gender-neutral territory. And so now it is no longer customary for a woman to move aside so that a man can open the door, especially if he’s a stranger. Rather, the first person at the door should open it and then hold it open for the next person. And when you do hold the door, be sure to stand in a way that allows for maximum room for others to pass.</p> <p><strong>No elbows on the table</strong></p> </div> </div> </div> <div id="page9" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-description"> <p>The ‘no-elbows-on-the-table’ rule made a lot of sense in the days when tables were makeshift trestles covered with cloth because a misplaced elbow might mean the collapse of the table. But those days are long gone. In fact, these days, leaning in towards someone who is speaking, which might include resting on one’s elbow, is a sign of interest and attention. So, you can stop following the ‘no-elbows’ rule… except when you have a plate of food in front of you, according to McKee. Because that’s just inviting a mess.</p> <div class="at-below-post addthis_tool" data-url="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/etiquette-rules-even-experts-dont-follow-anymore"><strong>The man should walk on the left side of a woman</strong></div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <div class="tg-container categorySection detailSection"> <div id="primary" class="contentAreaLeft"> <div id="page10" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-description"> <p>The fact that this etiquette rule even requires a mention in today’s world is astonishing when you consider it stems from the Middle Ages, when knights wore their swords on the left side of their bodies, making it uncomfortable and potentially unsafe for a ‘lady’ to walk beside him on the left. It’s no longer the rule. In fact, there really is no rule about the ‘sides’ that men and women should walk on vis a vis one another.</p> <p><strong>‘Dear sir or madam’</strong></p> <div id="page1" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-description"> <p>It seems a common theme among all these etiquette rules that are no longer followed is that they make presumptions about gender that can no longer be made. Here is another one. At one time, ‘Dear sir,’ was the default greeting when corresponding with a stranger. Nowadays, it’s almost nonsensical, and adding ‘or madam’ doesn’t help (considering the many possible ways in which people identify). If you don’t have or can’t find a name, use the title of the position (eg. human resource manager) or ‘To Whom It May Concern,’ Grammarly suggests.</p> <p><strong>Adults addressing other adults as Mr or Ms</strong></p> </div> </div> </div> <div id="page2" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-description"> <p>“We no longer need to call other adults who are approximately our same age by Mr or Ms and their last name until they ask us to call them by their first name,” McKee assures anyone who is still in doubt. “Unless it’s your corporate culture to do otherwise, as an adult you’re safe to call someone you’ve just met by their first name.</p> <p><strong>Offering toasts requires drinking alcohol</strong></p> </div> </div> </div> <div id="page3" class="slide-show"> <div id="test" class="slide listicle-slide"> <div class="slide-description"> <p>No. Just no. The silly etiquette rule requiring those not drinking alcohol to refrain from raising their glasses in a toast came entirely from superstition, dating back to the Ancient Greeks (involving a river of water symbolizing death). Etiquette experts such as Letitia Baldridge disagree with any such rule, advising, “If you are avoiding alcohol for any reason at all, feel free to hoist your glass of soft drink, water, or juice. You can also hold it to your lips without sipping, or raise your hand as though holding a glass.”</p> <p><em>Written by <span>Lauren Cahn</span>. This article first appeared in </em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/culture/etiquette-rules-even-experts-dont-follow-anymore" target="_blank"><em>Reader’s Digest</em></a><em>. </em></p> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> <p><img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" /></p>

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Inside the private relationship with Nicole Kidman and her two oldest children

<p>In all her glamour and grace, Nicole Kidman has become known for keeping her personal life hidden from the public and tabloids.</p> <p>The starlet is mother to four children, and shares her two eldest, Cruise, 27, and Connor Cruise, 25 with her ex-husband Tom Cruise.</p> <p>Over the years, her relationship with her two adopted children has become a popular topic of conversation amongst tabloids, however Kidman insists she always has “unconditional love” and support for her children.</p> <p>However, there has always been curiosity on whether Nicole actually does have contact with her two children.</p> <p>Both she and Tom, who are Hollywood heavyweights in their own right, united in marriage in 1990 and most recently opened up about Isabella and Connor in an interview with<span> </span>Who.</p> <p>The 51-year-old actress’ two children are both loyal members of the Church of Scientology, just like their father.</p> <p>Nicole hasn’t appeared publicly with her two eldest since reportedly 2007.</p> <p>“They are adults. They are able to make their own decisions,” Nicole said when asked about Isabella and Connor.</p> <p>“They have made choices to be Scientologists and as a mother, it’s my job to love them.”</p> <p>Nicole is no longer a member herself and disassociated in 2001 after 10 years of marriage with Tom. Reports claim Kidman is considered a “suppressive person” by the church, and thus maintains minimal contact with her children.</p> <p>When speaking to <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.who.com.au/nicole-kidman-truth-connor-cruise-bella-cruise-adopted-kids?utm_medium=google" target="_blank">Who</a><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.who.com.au/nicole-kidman-truth-connor-cruise-bella-cruise-adopted-kids?utm_medium=google" target="_blank"> magazine</a>, the actress gave a rare statement on the topic of scientology and her children.</p> <p>“They have made choices to be Scientologists and as a mother, it’s my job to love them,” she explained.</p> <p>“And I am an example of that tolerance and that’s what I believe — that no matter what your child does, the child has love and the child has to know there is available love and I’m open here.”</p> <p>Previously, Nicole told Vogue that she had “chosen not to speak publicly abut Scientology.”</p> <p>“I have two children who are Scientologists — Connor and Isabella — and I utterly respect their beliefs,” she said.</p> <p>Back in 2010, Nicole also <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-moms/news/nicole-kidman-talks-kids-isabella-connor-cruise-2014295/?utm_medium=google" target="_blank">admitted</a> that the kids chose to live with Tom instead of her: “I’d love them to live with us, but what can you do?”</p> <p>Nicole has two children with her current husband Keith Urban, Sunday, 10, and Faith, 7.</p> <p>Nicole told Who magazine that she’s “very private” about her relationships with Isabella and Connor.</p> <p>“I have to protect all those relationships,” she said. “I know 150 percent that I would give up my life for my children because it’s what my purpose is.”</p> <p>She went on to explain that, no matter what, she’ll always love them unconditionally.</p> <p>“I think that’s so important because if that is taken away from a child, to sever that in any child, in any relationship, in any family — I believe it’s wrong,” Nicole said. “So that’s our job as a parent, to always offer unconditional love.”</p> <p>According to former Scientologist Leah Remini in her book, Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology, Isabella allegedly claimed that her mother was “a f***ing SP [Suppressive Person].”</p> <p>Notably, Nicole wasn’t at Isabella’s wedding in 2015, and Nicole hasn’t appeared in a public photograph with either child in years.</p> <p> </p>

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Jackie O reveals sneaky “trick” Karl Stefanovic used that left her feeling “foolish”

<p>Jackie O has exposed Karl Stefanovic’s sneaky but highly effective “trick” that he uses in interviews. During an interview with Stefanovic for a 60 Minutes story in early May, the pair sat down to discuss Jackie's work and family life.<br /><br />The KIIS FM host admitted she didn’t want to cry on camera but knew “the one thing” that would bring her to tears would be any discussion of her daughter, Kitty.<br /><br />“I just thought, ‘OK, prepare yourself, because the minute her name gets mentioned you’re going to get teary’”, she said on air.<br /><br />“He asked me about her … He said, ‘you’ve got such a beautiful child,’ and it looked like Karl was crying. His eyes were welling up.”<br /><br />Jackie said that she burst into tears the moment she saw Stefanovic getting emotional.<br /><br />“When you see someone else’s eyes well up with tears and they’re talking about something really deeply personal to you, that was it, all I had to do was look into his weeping eyes and I started crying,” she said.<br /><br />But as soon as the interview ended, Jackie began to suspect that Stefanovic was faking his tears to make her emotional.<br /><br />“I thought, ‘Oh, I think he did that deliberately, actually. That might be his trick, which is a great trick. Oh my god, I feel so foolish now.’<br /><br /></p> <p>Jackie continued: “I’m thinking, ‘why would Karl have tears in his eyes over my daughter that he only met five minutes ago?’”<br /><br />Kyle revealed that Stefanovic tried to pull the same stunt with him during his own interview.<br /><br /></p> <p>“This is what he does,” Kyle said on air at the time. “He tried to do that to me too.<br /><br />“He goes, ‘So, it must have been tough finding yourself homeless at 16,’ and his eyes started welling up. And I thought, ‘This bastard can cry on demand!’”<br /><br />Kyle said his sit-down chat with Stefanovic went for hours and added: “I knew he was just trying to make me cry. So many hours and hours of questioning and I said, ‘just tell me the question you really want to ask for god’s sake.”</p>

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Chandler Powell posts sweet tribute to new wife Bindi Irwin

<p>Bindi Irwin and Chandler Powell tied the knot in an intimate ceremony at Australia Zoo two months ago.</p> <p>Chandler, 23, surprised fans by sharing a never-before-seen snap from their wedding album.</p> <p>“Every day I'm so happy to be married to you and spending our time together doing what we love most,” he wrote.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CAXZL98hB2f/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CAXZL98hB2f/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">Every day I’m so happy to be married to you and spending our time together doing what we love most @AustraliaZoo ❤️</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/chandlerpowell/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank"> Chandler Powell</a> (@chandlerpowell) on May 19, 2020 at 3:08am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text "> <p>His blushing bride commented back, saying that “I will never find the words to describe how much I love you.”</p> <p>The photos were taken at the zoo, which is not open to the public due to the coronavirus pandemic.</p> <p>However, it appears work is still going on at the zoo, with the newlywed couple spending their honeymoon at the zoo.</p> <p>This is due to COVID-19 travel restrictions.</p> <p>“Our honeymoon may not have turned out as we'd planned, but we're grateful to be spending time with our beautiful animals,” she wrote.</p> <p>“Things are incredibly busy here while we're temporarily not open. We're all working together to make sure our animal family is happy.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B_GJou5By5A/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B_GJou5By5A/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">Chandler, When I went to write my vows I found I couldn’t stop writing them. I started by sharing all the ways you make my life beautiful and wrote close to a thousand words. Then I moved on to write about what an extraordinary person you are and I needed a new pen. Finally I wanted to share all my hopes for the future and I ran out of notebook paper. I thought about how there is no way to describe genuine, unconditional love. A love like this is meant to be felt, in every part of our soul. Marriage marks an incredible beginning and yet I feel like we’ve already experienced so much life together. We say all the time that it feels like we’ve been married for years. We’ve been a team through life’s wonderful highs and difficult lows. You’ve held my hand as we’ve run towards every new adventure. My dad used to say that I couldn’t marry anyone unless he could swim across the croc pond first. And now, here you are, helping us during our regular crocodile demonstrations. One of your jobs is to jump into the water with our biggest crocs to help encourage them home! They say there’s a moment when you know you’ve fallen in love with someone, for me it was watching you happily jump in the water with a 15 foot crocodile and then tell me how much you enjoyed it. You are my soulmate. I promise to love you with all my heart through every twist and turn the world brings our way. I promise to encourage your dreams and help you achieve them. I promise to stand beside you as your wife, teammate and friend. I promise to share an ‘I love you’ before I sleep each night no matter what our day has brought. I promise to be your strength and light when you need a it. I promise to revel with you in each breathtaking moment we are given in this life. Chandler, Thank you for loving me for me. You love me when I’m uncontrollably laughing or falling asleep by ‪6pm‬. You validate what unconditional love really means. You’ve been my best friend for over six years. You’ve made me smile every day since I first met you. That’s amazing and so are you. My husband, my teammate and partner in conservation. To quote our favourite show, “I love you and I like you”.</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/bindisueirwin/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank"> Bindi Irwin</a> (@bindisueirwin) on Apr 17, 2020 at 1:53pm PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Bindi also shared how easy vow-writing was for her as her love of Chandler flowed through the pen.</p> <p>“Chandler, When I went to write my vows, I found I couldn’t stop writing them. I started by sharing all the ways you make my life beautiful and wrote close to a thousand words,” she wrote on Instagram.</p> <p>“Marriage marks an incredible beginning and yet I feel like we’ve already experienced so much life together. We say all the time that it feels like we’ve been married for years.</p> <p>“We’ve been a team through life’s wonderful highs and difficult lows. You’ve held my hand as we’ve run towards every new adventure.”</p> </div> </div> </div>

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Game over: Kyrgios and Kalinskaya’s messy romance

<p>Nick Kyrgios’ relationship with Russian tennis star Anna Kalinskaya has reportedly ended on bad terms.</p> <p>Although the details surrounding their relationship is unknown, the two were spotted together at an Acapulco street stall in March, with Kyrgios kissing Kalinskaya on the forehead.</p> <p>Shortly after, the couple attended an NBA game in Los Angeles together.</p> <p>The Aussie was also seen cheering on the 21-year-old at the Citi Open in Washington last August.</p> <p>However, a series of cryptic Instagram posts from Kalinskaya suggests the couple’s recent break-up was not pleasant.</p> <p>The world No. 95 shared a black and white photo on her Instagram with the caption, “You’re not a bad boy, you are simply a bad person,” with most followers assuming the message was directed at Kyrgios.</p> <p>Hours later, she posted another snap with the caption, “F*** energy vampire,” but the picture was deleted soon after.</p> <p>Kalinskaya confirmed the break-up on Monday during an Instagram Q&amp;A, adding the two are no longer on speaking terms.</p> <p>“We broke up. We aren’t friends. I understand you are his friends and it’s cool but I’m not going to talk about him. Have some respect for me as well please,” Kalinskaya posted.</p> <p>Although they never confirmed they were dating, rumours of their on-and-off romance have been circulating for months.</p> <p>In December, Kalinskaya called Kygrios “Satan” after he commented on one of her social media posts.</p> <p>The 24-year-old Kyrgios previously dated Croatian-Australian tennis player Anya Tomljanovic, but they split in 2017.</p>

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​Brothers in arms: Prince William and Harry repairing severed relationship

<p><span>After reported tension between Prince William and Prince Harry, claims have been made that the brothers are “back in touch” and sorting through their issues with each other.</span><br /><br /><span>“There have been clearly some quite major rifts in that relationship, but things have got better and I know that William and Harry are in touch on the phone,” royal expert Katie Nicholl explained to ET.</span><br /><br /><span>“They have done video calls together, they have done a lot of family birthdays and I think with Prince Charles not being well, that really forced the brothers to pick up the phone and get back in touch.”</span><br /><br /><span>Nicholl says Harry felt homesick after touching down in L.A, but has found the “right time” to patch things up with his big brother.</span><br /><br /><span>“I think there is a sense of relief on both sides that this high drama is now a thing of the past,” she said.</span><br /><br /><span>“The Sussexes are free to get on with their new lives [and] the Cambridges can get back to their old lives without all the upset and drama that was clearly a big deal behind the scenes.</span><br /><br /><span>“I think Kate and William miss Harry and Meghan to a degree, but certainly they miss Harry [being] around and part of their lives.”</span><br /><br /><span>Nicholl went on to say it’s not a far-fetched idea to believe the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge took part in a birthday video call to Archie.</span><br /><br /><span>“I am quite sure there would have been communication between the Cambridges and the Prince of Wales and I am told Harry picks up the phone regularly to his grandmother, the queen,” Nicholl said.</span><br /><br /><span>“They had that same call on her birthday. I'm sure there was a Zoom birthday call for Archie, too.”</span><br /><br /><span>Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced they were stepping down as senior royals in January, and wrapped up their last required duties by April.</span><br /><br /><span>While giving a speech at a private dinner in London for his charity Sentebale, the Duke of Sussex said he had “no other option” than to step down.</span><br /><br /><span>“The decision that I have made for my wife and I to step back is not one I made lightly … there really was no other option,” he said.</span><br /><br /><span>“I have accepted this, knowing that it doesn’t change who I am or how committed I am.</span><br /><br /><span>He went on to add: “But I hope that helps you understand what it had to come to, that I would step my family back from all I have ever known, to take a step forward into what I hope can be a more peaceful life.”</span></p>

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Tom Gleeson pours fuel on feud with Kerri-Anne Kennerley

<div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text "> <p><em>ABC</em> comedian Tom Gleeson has reignited his feud with <em>Studio 10</em>’s Kerri-Anne Kennerley a year after she called him a “wimp” for not showing up to his scheduled Studio 10 interview after his Gold Logie win.</p> <p>Gleeson, 45, jokingly compared the 66-year-old to a “hungry python” while hosting his game show<span> </span><em>The Hard Quiz</em><span> </span>on Wednesday night.</p> <p>He fired questions at contestant Darren and footage of a snake flashed up on the screen as Gleeson asked Darren as to how snakes digest food.</p> <p>“The left and right side of a python's lower jaw can move independently, allowing them to drag food down their throats through a process known as the what walk?” Tom asked.</p> <p>Darren struggled to answer, and Gleeson took advantage of the awkward silence.</p> <p>“It's like watching Kerri-Anne eat dinner!” he exclaimed, much to the delight of his fans.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">"Its like watching Kerrie-Anne eat dinner." - <a href="https://twitter.com/nonstoptom?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@nonstoptom</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/screaming?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#screaming</a> !!!😂😂😂!!! <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/genius?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#genius</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/bestlineofseason?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#bestlineofseason</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/abc?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#abc</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/hardquiz?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#hardquiz</a> <a href="https://t.co/ePAi9PslYx">pic.twitter.com/ePAi9PslYx</a></p> — radioShirley &amp; mr.K (@radioShirley) <a href="https://twitter.com/radioShirley/status/1260566207125733377?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">May 13, 2020</a></blockquote> <p>Kerri-Anne has been vocal about her disapproval of Gleeson’s joke campaign, after he joked it was a “victory for quiet Australians”.</p> <p>She was putting mock quotations marks around words as she blasted Gleeson for not showing up to the interview.</p> <p>“He has turned into 'Gold Logie winner Tom'. 'Wimp Tom'. You're supposed to be here!” Kerri-Anne exclaimed during the <em>Studio 10</em> broadcast</p> <p>“You’ve turned into a winner now. And now you're a wimp, you're far too good for us little people, Tom,” she added.</p> <p>“I'm so disappointed. You wanted a hard chat? I could give you a hard chat,” she joked, making a reference to the popular<span> </span><em>ABC</em><span> </span>quiz show.</p> <p>Despite co-hosts Sarah Harris and Joe Hildebrand saying he could still show up, Kerri-Anne started back up again.</p> <p>“No, he's too good for us. I know the <em>ABC</em> type. He's now so far 'there' where he wants to be,” Kerri-Anne raged.</p> </div> </div> </div>

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How to stay calm and manage those family tensions during the coronavirus lockdown

<p>The coronavirus restrictions are <a href="https://theconversation.com/as-restrictions-ease-here-are-5-crucial-ways-for-australia-to-stay-safely-on-top-of-covid-19-138000">slowly being eased</a> but the pressures on families at home still probably lead to many tears of frustration.</p> <p>It could be tensions about noise and clutter, keeping up with home schooling and mums and dads torn between parenting and their own work duties.</p> <p>So to make sure our memories of being locked in with our families are as positive as possible, here are some evidence-based tips for calming down, preventing conflict and dealing with any sibling rivalry.</p> <p><strong>Take a deep breath</strong></p> <p>If you feel yourself getting angry at something, breathe in while counting to three. Then breathe out slowly counting to six (or any patterns with a slower out breath). If you do this ten times you should notice yourself <a href="https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0005796710001324" title="Differential effects of mindful breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and loving-kindness meditation on decentering and negative reactions to repetitive thoughts">becoming calmer</a>.</p> <p>If you’re too agitated to breathe slowly, put your <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S019745561300124X" title="The impact of breathing and music on stress levels of clients and visitors in a psychiatric emergency room">hands on your heart</a> and simply wait until you feel more relaxed. Try counting to ten or 100 <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02699931.2011.579088" title="Counting to ten milliseconds: Low-anger, but not high-anger, individuals pause following negative evaluations">before you react</a>.</p> <p>Leave the room and take a break. Plan to deal with the niggle another time. When you’re on break, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022103107000078" title="Take a break! or not? The impact of mindsets during breaks on negotiation processes and outcomes">do something to distract yourself</a> like make a drink, listen to music, look at a beautiful picture or play a video game that is absorbing.</p> <p>Call a <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15374416.2010.517160" title="Parent–Child Relationships and Dyadic Friendship Experiences as Predictors of Behavior Problems in Early Adolescence">friend</a> or <a href="https://au.reachout.com/urgent-help">professional helpline</a> to help you get another perspective, especially if you feel scared or hurt.</p> <p>Different strategies work for different people, so try them all. Encourage your kids to keep trying if they don’t initially succeed. You need to practise any skill to make it feel natural. For <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0300443940970112" title="Encouraging the development of responsible anger management in young children">younger children</a>, taking a break may be <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/42900065" title="Encouraging the development of responsible anger management in young children">simpler</a> to master.</p> <p><strong>Ease the tension before things blow</strong></p> <p>It’s good to calm down from explosions but it’s even better if you can reduce the build-up in the first place.</p> <p>Take time to <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/21642850.2016.1228458" title="A structural equation model of conflict-affected youth coping and resilience">share some of the problems</a> upsetting people and see if as family you can negotiate a solution.</p> <p>It’s likely everyone in your family is more tense because of the COVID-19 crisis. Many aspects can’t be easily fixed, like lost work or money stress, but others can, such as creating new routines or sharing space, resources or chores.</p> <p>Work out different ways to get exercise indoors, like games or apps. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1529100618821893" title="Beyond Willpower: Strategies for Reducing Failures of Self-Control">Plan ahead</a> for the times that need extra care, like when people are tired, or if difficult tasks need finishing. Let others know what to expect.</p> <p>And importantly, <a href="https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1540-4560.1998.tb01217.x" title="Resilience and Thriving: Issues, Models, and Linkages">lower expectations</a> for everyone. What used to be easy might now be hard, and that’s okay.</p> <p><strong>Control the emotions</strong></p> <p>Help everyone work on <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/per.1993" title="Explaining the Link Between Personality and Relationship Satisfaction: Emotion Regulation and Interpersonal Behaviour in Conflict Discussions">managing their emotions</a>. Just because you are experiencing extra distress doesn’t mean you should snap at your loved ones.</p> <p>You need to grow your <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s12888-014-0227-6" title="Building resilience for future adversity: a systematic review of interventions in non-clinical samples of adults">toolkit</a> of things that make you feel calmer and happier when you’re under pressure.</p> <p>It could be spending time talking about what is going right and what is okay, working with your hands, meditation or prayer, time with your partner, reading or learning something new.</p> <p>Every day, take time do something from your toolkit to chill out.</p> <p><strong>Talk to each other</strong></p> <p>When the tension is lower, quiet family conversations can help by <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0022096514002215" title="Parenting predictors of cognitive skills and emotion knowledge in socioeconomically disadvantaged preschoolers">naming any stresses</a>. Naming things like “this is a stressful time” or “I’m a bit grumpy about work today” helps children process emotions.</p> <p>It’s important to <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0033294116646159" title="Effects of Active Listening, Reformulation, and Imitation on Mediator Success: Preliminary Results">actively listen</a> to others and <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2000-05084-011.html" title="The Triple P-Positive Parenting Program: A comparison of enhanced, standard, and self-directed behavioral family intervention for parents of children with early onset conduct problems">celebrate strengths</a>.</p> <p>Listening and repeating back what others say makes people feel heard, and so does acknowledging shared feelings (“I miss my friends too”). When parents calmly talk about how some things cannot be easily changed, it <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-1-4614-3917-2_5" title="Community-Based Practice Applications of a Family Resilience Framework">builds acceptance</a>.</p> <p>Over time, the most powerful thing to prevent explosions is to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.janxdis.2014.07.001" title="Peeking into the black box: Mechanisms of action for anger management treatment">notice when anger is building</a> so you can deal with it before things escalate.</p> <p>It’s useful to reflect on <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1999-08103-013" title="Cognitive behavioural interventions for anger, aggression and violence">questions</a> such as “Will this matter in 20 years?” and “Am I taking this too personally?”</p> <p>You can help children by exploring <a href="https://www.pediatricnursing.org/article/S0882-5963(03)00083-6/fulltext" title="Communication approaches to parent-child conflict: young adolescence to young adult">what might really be bothering</a> them. That argument about a toy might be about feeling sad. Try to listen for the deeper message, so they feel understood.</p> <p><strong>Calm that sibling rivalry</strong></p> <p>If sibling rivalry is driving you to distraction, the good news is <a href="https://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/sibling-rivalry/coping-sibling-rivalry/" title="COPING WITH SIBLING RIVALRY">it does not</a> mean there is something wrong. Low-level sibling bickering is common during times of tension and boredom.</p> <p>But you should <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.00746.x" title="Step In or Stay Out? Parents' Roles in Adolescent Siblings' Relationships">step in</a> when the volume goes up with nasty name-calling or physical contact.</p> <p> </p> <p>Acknowledge emotions, help the kids express what they feel and encourage empathy. Try to help them decide what’s fair, instead of imposing your view.</p> <p>More serious incidents require you to stop the interaction. If there is harm, separate the kids, care for the hurt child and consider a consequence. Use time-outs to calm things down, not for punishment.</p> <p>But like all conflict, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149718912000651" title="Enhancing sibling relationships to prevent adolescent problem behaviors: Theory, design and feasibility of Siblings Are Special">prevention</a> is better than punishment. Does one child need more attention, exercise, stimulation or structure? Do certain toys need to be put away, or shared?</p> <p>Depending on the age of your children, you can help older kids to learn to react gently to provocation. Praise children when they take steps to manage their stress.</p> <p>Remember, these are stressful times for many families around the world. If we can use this time to stay patient, manage tension and act with goodwill towards our loved ones, our families will be better equipped to weather COVID-19, and many other storms that will follow.</p> <hr /> <p><em>For more help and information see our <a href="http://www.socialchangelab.net/covid19.html">website</a> or go to <a href="https://www.1800respect.org.au/">1800Respect</a> and <a href="https://www.ntv.org.au/">No To Violence</a>.</em></p> <p><em>This article was co-written with help from Tori Cooke at <a href="https://www.ntv.org.au/">No To Violence</a>, Peter Streker at <a href="http://communitystars.com.au/">Community Stars</a>, Carmel O’Brien at <a href="https://www.psychrespect.com/">PsychRespect</a>, and the University of Queensland’s students Ruby Green and Kiara Minto.</em><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/137166/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/winnifred-louis-3612">Winnifred Louis</a>, Professor, Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-queensland-805">The University of Queensland</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tom-denson-122725">Tom Denson</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-1414">UNSW</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-stay-calm-and-manage-those-family-tensions-during-the-coronavirus-lockdown-137166">original article</a>.</em></p>

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"Worst in the world": Bill Connolly reveals the nickname he was saddled with in school

<p><span>Sir Billy Connolly has revealed the first nickname he ever received that he claims was by far “the worst in the world.”</span><br /><br /><span>The star admitted he was branded “cuddles” by an angry teacher while he was in primary school, and says he was scared the moniker might stick with him forever.</span><br /><br /><span>He revealed this in a new documentary where he talked about his harsh upbringing and how his childhood erupted him into A-lister fame.</span><br /><br /><span>“I had the worst nickname in the world when I was at school. It lasted about a year but it mercifully went away,” he’s said.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 0px; height: 0px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7836050/bill-connolly-3.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/21dd0c97913c41b984df26aa645dc9f6" /><br /><br /><span>The star explained that a certificate that allowed the person who was holding it to receive a free hug was passed all around the class until it landed in his hands.</span><br /><br /><span>“’This certificate entitles you to a cuddle from such and such and so on.’ It was passed round the class and someone passed it to me</span><br /><br /><span>“The teacher went, ‘What’s that, Connolly? Bring it out here.’ He took it and he read it and said, ‘OK, Cuddles, sit down,’ and that was me for a year.”</span><br /><br /><span>Connolly talks candidly in his six-part docu series Billy and Us, where he also reflects on the traumatising yet enlightening experiences he had growing up.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 0px; height: 0px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7836051/bill-connolly-2.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/1a4071e819a2400991fdbf2c7fee105f" /><br /><br /><span>In the first episode – Stupid but Saveable – the star reflected on his poverty-stricken childhood which saw him severely physically abused by his father at home, and berated mercilessly by teachers at school.</span><br /><br /><span>The 77-year-old whose mother walked out on the family when he was four years old, said: “It was post-war Britain when beating up children was normal for the slightest things.</span><br /><br /><span>“There were no generation gaps as children were battered on to the next. I always stood apart. My mum left home when I was very young and I was always looking for attention by showing off in stupid ways, like by sitting in puddles.</span><br /><br /><span>“My most vivid memory of childhood is of me and Gerald McGee seeing who could pee the highest.</span><br /><br /><span>“My father caught me and hit me so hard on the back of the head my willy popped back into my trousers.</span><br /><br /><span>“I went to St Peter’s Primary School. I went back to do a programme once and they had removed my name from the books because of the religious stuff in my stand-up about the crucifixion and the Last Supper.</span><br /><br /><span>“I just wanted to make people laugh. I didn’t set out to shock. The scrapes and embarrassments of me and my classmates and the chaos and catastrophes of being a child make for good material.”</span><br /><br /><span>Billy was raised by his father and two aunts and explained that at school, “I had a psychopathic teacher who used to say, ‘I taught your father and he was an idiot too.’</span><br /><br /><span>“The experience of school stays with me to this day. It was traumatic. You take the worst things and try to make them funny.”</span><br /><br /><span>The documentary series, featured on BBC was filmed near the end of 2019.</span></p>

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The touching moment bride visits her grandmother through care home window on her wedding day

<p>Ever since the coronavirus pandemic hit, the world has had to adjust their lifestyles, and with the elderly at high risk from COVID-19, one bride from the US found a way to make sure her grandmother was a part of her wedding day.</p> <p>Shauna Varner married Travis Scepaniak in Sartell, Minnesota on April 25.</p> <p>The aged care facility, Country Manor, where her grandma Janis currently stays has been on strict lockdown since mid-March due to the virus. This forced Varner and Scepaniak to get creative.</p> <p>On the morning of the couple’s special day, staff at Country Manor helped dress Janis up.</p> <p>"With our salon services being shut down, it took some joint effort from us non-professionals to get her hair fixed, but she was pleased with the final product, which is all that matters," Emily Frericks, the facility's director of public relations and marketing told <em>Good Morning America</em>.</p> <p>"She felt beautiful, which was a rewarding feeling for staff."</p> <p>Before walking down the aisle, Varner and Scepaniak stopped at the facility to “visit” Janis from the other side of her window, leaving her overjoyed.</p> <p>In footage of the moment, Varner is seen showing off her wedding dress and two blew kisses to one another through the glass.</p> <p>"You got to see [the dress] first," said Varner.</p> <p>"Good," replied Janis, adding, "Your hair looks nice. Everything looks nice. You're beautiful."</p> <p>Even with the pandemic sweeping across the globe, people are finding ways to stay connected with their loved ones.</p>

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