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Independent you: preventing, and recovering from, elder abuse

<p>From implementing safeguards to stop it from beginning to taking back control if it does, there is a lot of power in your hands to avoid elder abuse.</p> <p>Previously, we explored the warning signs of elder abuse and how <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/retirement-income/are-you-a-victim-of-elder-abuse-without-even-realising-it">it is possible to be a victim without even realising it</a>.</p> <p>And with more wealth owned by people over 60 now than ever before, the potential for abuse only continues to grow.</p> <p>So, how can you prevent elder abuse happening to you? And if you are already experiencing it, what can you do to regain control over your finances, independence and wellbeing? </p> <p><strong>Prevention better than cure</strong></p> <p>The best way to avoid the impacts of elder abuse is to protect yourself against it beginning in the first place.</p> <p>Awareness is the first step, so having <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/retirement-income/are-you-a-victim-of-elder-abuse-without-even-realising-it">read this article and knowing the warning signs</a>, you’re already ahead of the game!</p> <p>Other preventative actions include:</p> <ul> <li>Maintaining contact: social interactions are important not just for warding off loneliness but providing access to other points of view and avenues for support. </li> <li>External advisers: engage your own advisers – don’t simply employ who someone tells you to. They should be an impartial, qualified set of eyes to monitor things for you and point out anything that doesn’t seem right. This includes a financial advisor, lawyer, accountant, doctor and so on. A support person attending appointments with you may give you extra assurance.</li> <li>Power of attorney/guardianship: nominate multiple people, so that no one individual has all the say. It can be useful to include someone who is not a relative for impartiality, such as a trusted friend or your lawyer. </li> <li>Superannuation beneficiaries: super is separate from your will, but beneficiary nominations can only be spouse, child, dependent or interdependent otherwise it will go to you Will.  In your Will you can direct to other people or charities. Some beneficiaries lapse, so will need to be renewed.</li> <li>Wills: review your will to ensure it reflects YOUR wishes, not someone else’s. People can jostle over not only their own inheritance but may try to influence you to leave others out. </li> <li>Documenting everything: keep a written record, especially where money is concerned – such as acting as Bank of Mum and Dad for adult kids to purchase property. Outline how much is given, what if any interest/repayments are expected and when, and what happens if their relationship subsequently breaks down.</li> <li>Encouraging independence: people who have come to expect handouts can become abusive if those handouts stop or requests for more are denied. Support and encourage others, especially your kids, to be financially independent and self-sufficient.</li> </ul> <p><strong>Taking back control</strong></p> <p>Sadly, prevention is no longer an option for an <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/family-domestic-and-sexual-violence/population-groups/older-people?xd_co_f=YjAzZDU4YTUtYzA5YS00YTNkLWJkNDQtNjdiZTM5ZmY5ZjQx#abuse">estimated 598,000 Australians</a> already experiencing elder abuse. However, it is still possible to break the cycle.</p> <p>Don’t be embarrassed or stick your head in the sand hoping things will improve. You have done nothing wrong. You are entitled to enjoy your retirement years.</p> <p>To take back control over your affairs, your wellbeing and your independence:</p> <ul> <li>Ensure your physical safety first and foremost.</li> <li>Seek medical attention for your physical and mental health (the latter is crucial for making good decisions around the other points on this list).</li> <li>Get support from another relative, close friend, neighbour, or other trusted person. Don’t be alone.</li> <li>Secure a roof over your head. Having a stable place to live gives you the security and focus to tackle other concerns.</li> <li>Freeze access to your money – bank accounts, credit cards etc. This will stop (further) unauthorised withdrawals or purchases being charged to you.</li> <li>Seek professional advice. Your financial adviser, tax accountant and lawyer will be able to guide you through protecting your home, money, guardianship and estate planning matters.</li> <li>Make informed changes. Don’t do anything rashly – make necessary changes once you have sought independent advice and considered your options. This may involve making changes to your power of attorney, will, superannuation, bank accounts, even your phone number in extreme cases.</li> <li>Consider counselling. Your abuser may not realise the severity of their actions. An independent counsellor may be able to help them see this and change their ways, and ultimately salvage your relationship.</li> </ul> <p>If you or someone you know is experiencing elder abuse, seek help straight away. Speak to a trusted relative or friend. Seek independent legal and financial advice about your affairs. Or call the government’s free elder abuse line on 1800 353 374. And if your life is in danger, call triple zero (000) immediately.</p> <p><strong><em>Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women. Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au/">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a></em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Disclaimer: The information in this article is of a general nature only and does not constitute personal financial or product advice. Any opinions or views expressed are those of the authors and do not represent those of people, institutions or organisations the owner may be associated with in a professional or personal capacity unless explicitly stated. Helen Baker is an authorised representative of BPW Partners Pty Ltd AFSL 548754.</em></strong></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

Caring

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Tips to cope with losing independence with age

<p>There are many fantastic things that come with getting older, but sadly there are also some not-so-welcome side effects. For many people, loss of independence is definitely the worst. In fact, a UK study found more people fear losing their self-sufficiency than death.</p> <p>Whether because of health issues, mobility problems or something else entirely, many elderly people can find themselves completely reliant on others in their old age. However, it’s important to help them understand that losing their independence doesn’t have to mean losing their quality of life.</p> <p>First of all, take some time to put yourself in their shoes and really understand what it’s like. Just like with any loss, coming to terms with the loss of self-sufficiency is a process. Many people feel afraid of their newfound vulnerability, angry at their situation, confused about how to move forward and even guilty at the thought of needing help. But it’s essential that even during this difficult transition period to encourage them not to isolate themselves.</p> <p><strong>Offer help in whatever way you can</strong></p> <p>Whether it’s driving them around, helping them with their groceries or just lending an ear, even the smallest deed can help make your loved one’s life a little easier. Understandably, many people who suddenly find themselves reliant of others can take a stubborn stance against accepting help.</p> <p>Instead of berating them, consider why they might be apprehensive to take a hand. Be patient and explain that you don’t pity them, but rather just want the best for them. If they constantly reject your offers, respect them.</p> <p><strong>Keep them busy</strong></p> <p>Contrary to what they may believe at first, losing their independence doesn’t mean being forced to stop doing what they love. Encourage your loved one to keep pursuing their passions (where possible), find new hobbies and maintain relationships with their family members and friends – after all, it’s the people around us who help us through hardship.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Caring

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Free, independent advice for your retirement

<p>The Financial Information Service (FIS) is a great government service which was set up as the ‘Financial Information Service for Pensioners’ 29 years ago.</p> <p>It’s been helping older Australians make better decisions about their finances for all of those years, giving them free, independent and confidential advice about retirement, aged care and any taxation implications.</p> <p>Because the FIS was so popular, in 1991, the Department of Human Services expanded it so now people of all ages and all walks of life are able to increase their financial knowledge by accessing the FIS, regardless of their age or income.</p> <p><strong>Anyone can access this free service</strong></p> <p>To access the FIS you simply call up the Department of Human Services on its FIS booking phone line – 132 300 – and ask to speak to an FIS Officer. They will be able to give you advice over the phone or if they are busy, they’ll be able to schedule a call back at a later time.</p> <p>If you’d rather talk with someone face-to-face you can make an appointment to see an FIS Officer and talk with them, asking your questions about your finances. You can also check out what FIS seminars are being held near you and attend one of these. FIS seminar topics include ‘Understanding your pension and your options’ and they also cover what government payments and services you’re eligible for if your financial situation changes.</p> <p><strong>The FIS informs people about matters such as:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Investing principles</li> <li>Superannuation</li> <li>Retirement planning</li> <li>Aged care costs and taxation implications</li> </ul> <p><strong>Once you have access to all of this information, you’ll be better able to:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Understand your own financial affairs and options</li> <li>Understand financial planners and how to use their advice</li> <li>Save and plan for the future through investing</li> <li>Plan for your retirement and increase your overall retirement income</li> <li>Understand what are the costs involved when you move into aged care</li> </ul> <p>It’s important to keep in mind that FIS Officers are not financial planners or counsellors and so they won’t sell you financial advice nor will they tell you how to invest your money. But they will teach you how to understand financial advisors and how to use their advice for your circumstances.</p> <p><strong>A free, impartial service</strong></p> <p>As Financial Information Service officer, Justin Bott explains: “The Financial Information Service is a free, impartial service to help people understand their financial situation and helps them make educated decisions about their finances.”</p> <p>“We listen to what seniors want to hear about and answer their questions on these accounts and in podcasts,” he adds.</p> <p>As well he adds: “The Seniors Update Facebook and Twitter accounts are a great way for us to stay in touch with seniors.”</p> <p><strong>To find out more about the FIS</strong></p> <p>To find out when an FIS seminar is being held in your local area, just head to the Department of Human Services’ website and you’ll find all the information you need <a href="https://www.humanservices.gov.au/individuals/services/financial-information-service">here.</a></p> <p>The website will show all the upcoming FIS seminars by state on its website <a href="http://www.humanservices.gov.au/fis">humanservices.gov.au/fis </a></p> <p>Bookings are essential and people can book by emailing the department at <a href="mailto:fis.seminar.bookings@humanservices.gov.au">fis.seminar.bookings@humanservices.gov.au</a> or calling the FIS seminar booking phone line on 136 357.</p> <p>You can also phone 132 300 and ask to speak to a Financial Information Service Officer over the phone.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p>

Retirement Income

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Independent at home with Feros Care

<p>By Feros Care</p> <p><strong>When Norma Burgess had a negative reaction to chemotherapy, she could no longer perform the simplest of tasks. Unable to walk or use her hands, the Tweed Heads mother relied on her husband to look after her 24-hours-a-day with support from <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.feroscare.com.au/home-care?utm_source=Over%20Sixty&amp;utm_medium=norma%20article&amp;utm_campaign=HOMECARE-ALWAYSON-2021&amp;utm_content=body" target="_blank">Feros Care</a>.</strong></p> <p>"I wanted to walk again and with the help of Koh and Joshua, my physiotherapists from Feros who visit me in my home, I've been able to regain my balance," says the 71-year-old. </p> <p>"At Christmas 2018 I couldn't even feed myself as the chemotherapy killed the nerves to my hands and legs, but fortunately my nerves slowly grew back and now my muscles have gotten stronger and I have a lot more confidence. </p> <p>"Gaining that confidence is such a big thing - especially when it comes to walking. I want to be able to just get on my walker and walk everywhere, but I'm not there yet.</p> <p>“I have made some progress and am able to use the walker around my house so I've just got to be patient." </p> <p><strong>THE RIGHT SUPPORTS</strong></p> <p>Norma says having the support to reach her goals is paramount. </p> <p>"I feel that I've got the right people around me to get to where I want to be," she says. </p> <p>"My first goal was to regain my balance and control, which I’ve made good progress on.</p> <p><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.feroscare.com.au/home-care?utm_source=Over%20Sixty&amp;utm_medium=norma%20article&amp;utm_campaign=HOMECARE-ALWAYSON-2021&amp;utm_content=banner" target="_blank"><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7841452/feros-care.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/17ed799aac794d1faafeeda337a2e3d6" /></a></p> <p><em>Norma, pictured above </em></p> <p>"I’m just taking it one step at a time. I’d love to be able to progress more quickly but with the support of my physiotherapists and carers I am heading in the right direction.</p> <p>“I don't expect to be able to walk alone again but I'm happy to be able to get around with a walker, and that is a big goal that I have achieved.</p> <p>"It's a huge step from where I was and I'm grateful to my husband, my rehab team and Feros Care for helping me get there.</p> <p>“I am very thankful for everything and for what everyone has done for me.”</p> <p><strong>SERVICES TO MEET CHANGING NEEDS</strong></p> <p>Physiotherapy isn't the only service Norma receives from Feros Care on her <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.feroscare.com.au/home-care?utm_source=Over%20Sixty&amp;utm_medium=norma%20article&amp;utm_campaign=HOMECARE-ALWAYSON-2021&amp;utm_content=body" target="_blank">government-funded Home Care Package. </a></p> <p>After her husband had an operation and could no longer assist Norma for several weeks with tasks like showering, she needed extra services and found Feros Care's packages superior to other providers.  </p> <p>"What Feros offered in terms of packages and services was much better so I went with them and I'm happy with the decision," she said. </p> <p>"As I make progress with my rehabilitation I don't need as much help, but I still get a domestic lady for a couple of hours a week who is really good, and a podiatrist comes to check my feet and cut my nails." </p> <p><strong>QUICK AND EASY SELF-MANAGEMENT OF SERVICES</strong></p> <p>Norma manages her services through Feros Care’s self-service portal named MyFeros. MyFeros is a self-service website and app allowing clients to view their upcoming services and carers at a glance, keep track of their financial journey and share messages with our staff via an internet-enabled device. It also allows clients to give their family members and loved ones access to their MyFeros account and set specific permissions on what they can and can’t see.</p> <p>"I find the portal great. You can do all your communication through it - just type your questions or changes and in no-time you get an answer back," said Norma. </p> <p>"It just helps make the process easy and I'm happy with the services Feros Care provides as it helps keep me in my home, rather than having to go into care." </p> <p><span><strong>Would you like to learn more about services to live more independently in your own home? Feros Care provides a wide range of services, including home maintenance, home-cooked meals and transport. We can also advise whether you may be eligible for government funding to assist with funding your helpers. </strong></span></p> <p><span><strong>Call Feros Care on 1300 763 583 or visit </strong></span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.feroscare.com.au/home-care?utm_source=Over%20Sixty&amp;utm_medium=norma%20article&amp;utm_campaign=HOMECARE-ALWAYSON-2021&amp;utm_content=body" target="_blank"><strong>feroscare.com.au/home-care</strong></a></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>This is a sponsored article produced in partnership with </em></strong><strong><em>Feros Care</em></strong><strong><em>.</em></strong></p>

Caring

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Downsizing no more: Australian over 50s want more living space and independence due to COVID-19

<p><a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="http://oversixty.com.au/" target="_blank" class="c-link" data-stringify-link="http://OverSixty.com.au" data-sk="tooltip_parent">OverSixty.com.au</a><span> and </span><a rel="noopener noreferrer" href="http://downsizing.com.au/" target="_blank" class="c-link" data-stringify-link="http://Downsizing.com.au" data-sk="tooltip_parent">Downsizing.com.au</a><span>, Australia’s leading over 50s property portal, recently published a research paper which finds that downsizing has a bright future in the post-COVID-19 era.</span></p> <p>Informed by consumer surveys and other consumer search data, the paper finds that:</p> <ul> <li>COVID-19 has educated consumers about the disadvantages of being isolated in their existing neighbourhood and conversely the benefits of living with friends and community managers in a dedicated downsizing development.</li> <li>Downsizers are likely to be increasingly looking for developments with more personal space, either within or around the home, along with their own parking spot so they do not need to rely on public transport </li> <li>Downsizers have become more footloose and are increasingly attracted to areas which have been less impacted by COVID-19, such as regional areas, or want to move closer to family and friends.</li> <li>Irrespective of the COVID-19 economic dip, over 50s remain in a strong position to fund a retirement living purchase as they have enjoyed years or decades of capital growth in their family home value.</li> <li>Downsizers have also been motivated to move due to the fact they’ve been increasingly exposed to the maintenance and other chores of their existing family home while being forced indoors due to the COVID-19.</li> <li>COVID-19 has educated potential downsizers about the benefits of looking for, and inspecting, homes online</li> </ul> <p><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.downsizing.com.au/downloadable-reports/2/why-downsizing-has-a-bright-post-covid-future" target="_blank"><strong>DOWNLOAD THE REPORT HERE</strong></a></p> <p>According to the survey of Australian over 50s:</p> <ul> <li>Around one in three people are more likely to downsize because of COVID-19, with key motivations including being able to move to a like-minded community and reducing maintenance chores</li> <li>54% say two or more bedrooms are essential, up from 48% in a survey undertaken before COVID-19</li> <li>56% regard garages and 54% regard parking spots as essential - both of these ranked below 50% in a pre-COVID-19 survey</li> <li>On the flipside, only 38% want to be close to public transport, down from around 45% in the pre-COVID-19 survey.</li> <li>Only 16% said it was essential they stayed in the same area, down from 18% in our pre-COVID-19 survey</li> <li>Of the people who are more likely to move due to COVID-19, around 20 per cent are doing this to move out of a crowded environment.</li> <li>More than one in three survey respondents were interested in downsizing in Queensland, despite the fact that only one in four were actually based in the State, in line with increased search activity for this State on our website</li> </ul> <p>Downsizing.com.au co-CEO Amanda Graham said the survey showed that downsizing and retirement living was emerging from the COVID-19 with a strengthened value proposition.</p> <p>“We can see in this survey how COVID-19 has accelerated many over 50s housing trends already underway, including a desire for independent living and greater space and transport autonomy,” Ms Graham said.</p> <p>“In addition, COVID-19 has encouraged people to move to new areas, which they perceive as being safe but also where they can find new friends and enjoy a great lifestyle.</p> <p>“During COVID-19, we have also really seen a very strong structural shift to consumer search activity on digital channels.”</p> <p>Ms Graham said downsizers are proving to be a resilient residential property market segment during COVID-19, given they have accumulated significant home equity throughout their working lives and are now keen to achieve a better lifestyle and boost their retirement income.</p> <p><em>The report was written by Mark Skelsey on <a href="https://www.downsizing.com.au/news/787/Downsizing-no-more-Australian-over-50s-want-more-living-space-and-independence-due-to-COVID-19">Downsizing.com.au</a> and includes a foreword from the Retirement Living Council’s Executive Director Ben Myers (the report was produced independently of the Retirement Living Council).</em></p>

Retirement Income

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The benefits of living independently in the comfort of a secure community

<p><span>For many, downsizing and moving into a retirement home is not an easy decision. After all, you’re leaving the home you’ve known and loved for many years of your life.</span></p> <p><span>However, not having to worry about the daily upkeep of your home and garden could be considered a blessing – especially if your knees aren’t quite what they used to be!</span></p> <p><span>With retirement living communities being designed with comfort, convenience and your ideal lifestyle in mind, countless retirees are finding it easier to make the switch – in fact, many of Uniting’s residents who are currently enjoying all the benefits of a retirement living community say they wish they’d done it sooner.</span></p> <p><strong><span>What’s the difference between independent and assisted living?</span></strong></p> <p><span>It’s important to know that there is a difference between independent and assisted living.</span></p> <p><span><a href="https://www.uniting.org/uniting-westmead/retirement-independent-living">Independent living</a> means that you’re able to live your life exactly as you’re used to, but with more friends around as many retirement communities are a “village within a village”. This means that you’re surrounded by a supportive community but are still able to relax in the privacy of your own home.</span></p> <p><span><a href="https://www.uniting.org/uniting-westmead/assisted-living">Assisted living</a> means you’re able to get support if you need it, perhaps if you’re finding the chores more difficult than they used to be. It can also be helpful if you just want more free time for yourself.</span></p> <p><span>Some retirement communities, such as <a href="https://www.uniting.org/uniting-westmead">Uniting Westmead</a>, offer a range of services that can suit your needs.</span></p> <p><span>Warwick and Barbara are new Uniting Westmead residents, and they couldn’t be more thrilled about the change.</span></p> <p><span>“The house was a bit too much for us now,” explains Barbara.</span></p> <p><span>“We don’t have to worry about changing lightbulbs or tap washers now, and we have a community of people we can now mix with,” laughs Warwick.</span></p> <div class="embed-responsive embed-responsive-16by9"><iframe class="embed-responsive-item" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VzvLbe4ft2U"></iframe></div> <p><strong><span>How do I know which one is for me?</span></strong></p> <p><span>Independent living is ideal if you’re looking to hand over the upkeep of your home and garden and enjoy your time in a retirement village. With so many amenities on offer at Uniting Westmead, such as a seniors’ gym, hair and beauty salon, a community café and a vegetable garden, you’ll have more than enough on your plate to keep your schedule jam-packed.</span></p> <p><span>However, if you find that you’re struggling to keep on top of the housework or are having a bit more trouble physically with things than you used to, assisted living is for you. The right level of support can be tailored to each person’s requirements and you are able to add extra services to your plan if you need them.</span></p> <p><strong><span>What do the apartments look like? </span></strong></p> <p><span>The apartments have been designed with you in mind, with features that are bound to make your life easier. These include generous doorways, windows and corridors as well as level flooring. </span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7838279/body-uniting.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/6cdaf209f8bb4a88bc0988e6447c1a39" /></p> <p><span>If you’re worried about what might happen if you’re injured in your home, you needn’t be. This is due to the 24-hour emergency call system that’s in place in every apartment.</span></p> <p><span>You can relax and enjoy open plan living spaces, a private balcony or courtyard as well as stainless steel appliances included in the apartment.</span></p> <p><span>In the hotter summer months, it’s easy to keep cool with air conditioning as well as window furnishing, which are included.</span></p> <p><span>Uniting Westmead is also right in the heart of Sydney, which is a key concern for Barbara and Warwick.</span></p> <p><span>“The location is perfect, it’s across the road from Parramatta Park, which is ideal for the grandchildren,” says Barbara.</span></p> <p><span>Warwick is also impressed with the location of the units.</span></p> <p><span>“We didn’t want to be too far away from hospitals, but still wanted to be close to the family,” he explains. “We did our research, and as far as we’re concerned, Uniting ticked all the boxes.”</span></p> <p><span>See what you may be missing out on, as you can chat to someone today who has made the move into Uniting Westmead.</span></p> <p><strong><em><span>This is a sponsored article produced in partnership with </span></em></strong><span><a href="https://ad.doubleclick.net/ddm/clk/478579433;284977294;l"><strong><em>Uniting Westmead</em></strong></a><strong><em>.</em></strong></span></p>

Retirement Life

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Queen Elizabeth speaks with US President Donald Trump ahead of Independence Day

<p>Queen Elizabeth has spoken with US President Donald Trump via phone ahead of Independence Day in America.</p> <p>The Queen spoke with Trump on Tuesday by phone from Windsor Castle, where she has remained with Prince Philip since the beginning of the coronavirus lockdown in the UK.</p> <p>The call to Trump was “the latest in a series Her Majesty has held with world leaders in recent months, including President [Emmanuel] Macron, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Prime Minister Scott Morrison”, the royal family said on Twitter.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">The telephone call is the latest in a series Her Majesty has held with world leaders in recent months, including President Macron, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Prime Minister Scott Morrison.</p> — The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) <a href="https://twitter.com/RoyalFamily/status/1278006235074383872?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 30, 2020</a></blockquote> <p>The two heads of state discussed the coronavirus pandemic and “reopening global economies”, according to White House spokesman Judd Deere.</p> <p>“The President and the Queen also reaffirmed that the United States and United Kingdom stand together in our Special Relationship and will emerge from this trying time stronger than ever before,” Deere said.</p> <p>Deere said Trump also wished the Queen a belated happy 94th birthday, two months after the monarch’s birthday in April.</p> <p>Trump has met with the Queen three times as president. Their last in-person meeting was at a Buckingham Palace reception marking the 70th anniversary of NATO in December 2019.</p> <p>Since Queen Elizabeth ascended the throne on February 6, 1952, she has met with all elected US presidents <a rel="noopener" href="https://people.com/royals/queen-elizabeth-phone-call-president-donald-trump-july-4/" target="_blank">with the exception of Lyndon B Johnson</a>.</p>

International Travel

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Can you ever be a truly independent thinker?

<p><em>‘It’s important to me that I make my own decisions, but I often wonder how much they are actually influenced by cultural and societal norms, by advertising, the media and those around me. We all feel the need to fit in, but does this prevent us from making decisions for ourselves? In short, can I ever be a truly free thinker?’</em> Richard, Yorkshire.</p> <p>There’s good news and bad news on this one. In his poem <a href="https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/51642/invictus">Invictus</a>, William Ernest Henley wrote: “It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”</p> <p>While being the lone “captain of your soul” is a reassuring idea, the truth is rather more nuanced. The reality is that we are social beings driven by a profound <a href="https://theconversation.com/would-you-stand-up-to-an-oppressive-regime-or-would-you-conform-heres-the-science-124469">need to fit in</a> – and as a consequence, we are all hugely influenced by cultural norms.</p> <p>But to get to the specifics of your question, advertising, at least, may not influence you as much as you imagine. Both advertisers and the critics of advertising like us to think that ads can make us dance any way they want, especially now everything is digital and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/nov/05/targeted-ads-fake-news-clickbait-surveillance-capitalism-data-mining-democracy">personalised ad targeting</a> is possible in a way it never was before.</p> <p>In reality, <a href="https://us.sagepub.com/en-us/nam/effective-advertising/book11407">there is no precise science of advertising</a>. <a href="https://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/clay-christensens-milkshake-marketing">Most new products fail</a>, despite the advertising they receive. And even when sales go up, nobody is exactly sure of the role advertising played. As the marketing pioneer <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wanamaker">John Wanamaker</a> said:</p> <blockquote> <p>Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half.</p> </blockquote> <p>You’d expect advertisers to exaggerate the effectiveness of advertising, and scholars of advertising have typically made more modest claims. Even these, though, may be overestimates. Recent studies have claimed that both <a href="https://www.kellogg.northwestern.edu/faculty/gordon_b/files/fb_comparison.pdf">online</a> and <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3273476">offline</a>, the methods commonly used to study advertising effectiveness vastly exaggerate the power of advertising to change our beliefs and behaviour.</p> <p>This has led some to claim that not just half, but perhaps nearly all advertising money is wasted, <a href="https://thecorrespondent.com/100/the-new-dot-com-bubble-is-here-its-called-online-advertising/13228924500-22d5fd24">at least online</a>.</p> <p>There are similar results outside of commerce. One review of field experiments in political campaigning argued “the best estimate of the effects of campaign contact and advertising on Americans’ candidates choices <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3042867">in general elections is zero”</a>. Zero!</p> <p>In other words, although we like to <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/dec/15/what-we-learned-about-the-media-this-election">blame the media</a> for how people vote, it is surprisingly hard to find <a href="https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3042867">solid evidence</a> of when and how people are swayed by the media. One professor of political science, Kenneth Newton, went so far as to claim <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/1467-923X.12732">“It’s Not the Media, Stupid”</a>.</p> <p>But although advertising is a weak force, and although hard evidence on how the media influences specific choices is elusive, every one of us is undoubtedly influenced by the culture in which we live.</p> <p><strong>Followers of fashion</strong></p> <p>Fashions exist both for superficial things, such as buying clothes and opting for a particular hairstyle, but also for more profound behaviour like <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK207262/">murder and even suicide</a>. Indeed, we all borrow so much from those we grow up around, and those around us now, that it seems impossible to put a clear line between our individual selves and the selves society forges for us.</p> <p>Two examples: I don’t have any facial tattoos, and I don’t want any. If I wanted a facial tattoo my family would think I’d gone mad. But if I was born in some cultures, where these tattoos were common and conveyed high status, such as traditional Māori culture, people would think I was unusual if I <em>didn’t</em> want facial tattoos.</p> <p>Similarly, if I had been born a Viking, I can assume that my highest ambition would have been to die in battle, axe or sword in hand. In their belief system, after all, that was <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/teach/how-do-you-get-to-viking-valhalla/z7s747h">surest way to Valhalla</a> and a glorious afterlife. Instead, I am a liberal academic whose highest ambition is to die peacefully in bed, a long way away from any bloodshed. Promises of Valhalla have no influence over me.</p> <p>Ultimately, I’d argue that all of our desires are patterned by the culture we happen to be born in.</p> <p>But it gets worse. Even if we could somehow free ourselves from cultural expectations, other forces impinge on our thoughts. Your <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25961374">genes can affect your personality</a> and so they must also, indirectly, have a knock-on effect on your beliefs.</p> <p>Sigmund Freud, the founder of <a href="https://psychoanalysis.org.uk/our-authors-and-theorists/sigmund-freud">psychoanalysis</a>, famously talked about the influence of parents and upbringing on behaviour, and he probably wasn’t 100% wrong. Even just psychologically, how can you ever think freely, separate from the twin influences of prior experience and other people?</p> <p>From this perspective, <em>all</em> of our behaviours and our desires are profoundly influenced by outside forces. But does this mean they aren’t also our own?</p> <p>The answer to this dilemma, I think, is not to free yourself from outside influences. This is impossible. Instead, you should see yourself and your ideas as the intersection of all the forces that come to play on you.</p> <p>Some of these are shared – like our culture – and some are unique to you – your unique experience, your unique history and biology. Being a free thinker, from this perspective, means working out exactly what makes sense to you, from where you are now.</p> <p>You can’t – and shouldn’t – ignore outside influences, but the good news is that these influences are not some kind of overwhelming force. <a href="https://www.newscientist.com/article/mg24232240-200-its-not-an-illusion-you-have-free-will-its-just-not-what-you-think/">All the evidence</a> is compatible with the view that each of us, choice by choice, belief by belief, can make reasonable decisions for ourselves, not unshackled from the influences of others and the past, but free to chart our own unique paths forward into the future.</p> <p>After all, the captain of a ship doesn’t sail while ignoring the wind – sometimes they go with it, sometimes against it, but they always account for it. Similarly, we think and make our choices in the context of all our circumstances, not by ignoring them.</p> <p><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tom-stafford-91781">Tom Stafford</a>, Lecturer in Psychology and Cognitive Science, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sheffield-1147">University of Sheffield</a></em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="http://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/free-thought-can-you-ever-be-a-truly-independent-thinker-129033">original article</a>.</em></p>

Mind

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The problem with Harry and Meghan’s “financial independence” plan

<p>Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan managed to dismantle the royal family on Thursday morning after they announced that they would be stepping down as senior royals and transition to financial independence.</p> <p>However, questions are rife about the royals’ new “working model” for 2020, and why the two – who have a combined independent wealth of around AU$60 million – need to “work to become financially independent”.</p> <p>“In 2020, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex have made the choice to transition into a new working model,” read the official Royal Sussex website.</p> <p>“As they step back as senior members of the Royal Family and no longer receive funding through the Sovereign Grant, they will become members of the Royal Family with financial independence which is something they look forward to.”</p> <p>Buckingham Palace issued a statement regarding their exit: “Discussions with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are at an early stage. We understand their desire to take a different approach, but these are complicated issues that will take time to work through.”</p> <p><strong>What are these “complicated issues”?</strong></p> <p>The pair “value the ability to earn a professional income, which in the current structure they are prohibited from doing,” the official website reads.</p> <p>This decision simply means that in order to become financially independent, the couple will no longer receive funding from the taxpayer-funded Sovereign Grant – which previously covered 5 per cent of their costs.</p> <p>“Their Royal Highnesses prefer to release this financial tie.”</p> <p>The remaining 95 per cent is provided through the Duchy of Cornwall as allocated by Prince Charles, under the system in place since Prince William and Prince Harry first established their offices.</p> <p>It seems Harry and Meghan will still receive these funds from the Duchy of Cornwall, but this may be one of the “complicated issues” Buckingham Palace referred to in its statement.</p> <p>The Duchy of Cornwall is the estate managed by Prince Charles, which has an income of over $40 million according to 2018 financial statements.</p> <p>“The current Prince of Wales chooses to use a substantial proportion of his income from the Duchy estate to meet the cost of his public and charitable work as well as the public and private lives of his family, The Duchess of Cornwall, The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, and their children,” reads the Duchy of Cornwall website.</p> <p><strong>Private wealth</strong></p> <p>But despite the grant and funds from the duchy, Harry and Meghan were already wealthy beforehand with the Duchess having a reported net worth of $7 million prior to marrying Prince Harry.</p> <p>Prince Harry’s net worth was even more substantial thanks to a hefty inheritance from Princess Diana, an allowance from Charles, his salary from serving in the army and a trust set up by his great grandmother. In 2018 his worth was reported to be between $36 million and $60 million.</p> <p><strong>Other things to know</strong></p> <p><strong>Travel costs</strong></p> <p>The Duke and Duchess will pay for any travel expenses in their private time from their own income, as they pointed out that the royals have never used taxpayer funds to cover travel.</p> <p>When in the UK, their security team will be paid for by taxpayers, via the royal family as they are considered “internationally protected people”, and as such, security is required.</p> <p><strong>Frogmore cottage</strong></p> <p>According to<span> </span><em>The Times</em>, the couple may be asked to fork out money for rent if they choose to continue living in the $4.6 million Frogmore Cottage after a series of renovations took place on the historic property.</p> <p>“Frogmore Cottage will continue to be the property of Her Majesty the Queen,” reads a statement on the official Royal Sussex website.</p> <p>“The Duke and Duchess of Sussex will continue to use Frogmore Cottage – with the permission of Her Majesty The Queen – as their official residence as they continue to support the monarchy, and so that their family will always have a place to call home in the United Kingdom.”</p> <p><strong>Charities</strong></p> <p>The two will still remain patrons of the same charities as they were before, but will also launch a new foundation. They will most likely receive a salary from working in the charity.</p>

Legal

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Ditch the cotton wool and let kids travel independently

<p>If you grew up in the 1970s or before, you probably have fond memories of traipsing around the neighbourhood with your friends and siblings, going to the shops or the park, and walking to and from school – without a parent in sight.</p> <p>Things <a href="http://www.vichealth.vic.gov.au/Publications/Physical-Activity/Active-transport/Active-Transport-Literature-Review.aspx">couldn’t be more different</a> for children today. With our increasing urbanisation, dependence on cars, and parental concerns about traffic or strangers, busy parents run an elaborate schedule of pick-ups and drop-offs to schools, sports and social events.</p> <p>Children’s lack of independent mobility is not only a concern for their levels of physical activity, it also impacts on their broader personal, spatial and social skills. The benefits of children’s everyday mobility range from learning to navigate local streets, to interacting with people in public, to gaining a sense of citizenship.</p> <p>New research we conducted with colleagues at the University of Melbourne and with international collaborators as part of the <a href="http://mccaugheycentre.unimelb.edu.au/research/brockhoff">Jack Brockhoff Child Health and Wellbeing Program</a> suggests we ought to have more faith in children’s ability to travel independently and, as parents, help them make this transition in late primary school.</p> <p><strong>Melbourne snapshot</strong></p> <p>Our study, <a href="http://newsroom.melbourne.edu/news/stepping-out-children-negotiating-independent-travel">Stepping Out</a>, was funded by VicHealth to explore children’s perspectives in the local government area of Moreland in Victoria, during 2011 and 2012.</p> <p>By walking and talking with children across three schools as they negotiated daily travel journeys – as well as speaking with class groups, parents and teachers – we examined the factors that enable children’s mobility. The 48 children in the study were aged 10 to 12 and had a relatively high degree of freedom to travel to school, parks or shops unaccompanied by parents.</p> <p>The late stages of primary school are a critical period for developing children’s confidence and independence to travel without their parents. This period helps prepare children for the transition to secondary school, and the common need to travel further from home using varied modes of transport such as buses and trains.</p> <p>Children are initially nervous about travelling unaccompanied by a parent but quickly come to enjoy the feeling of freedom and actively seek greater opportunities for mobility.</p> <p>In the study, children’s mobile skills and confidence were developed through gradual progression. Early on, parents walked with children to local destinations and practised new routes together. They then allowed them to walk or ride ahead, to travel part of the way by themselves, before eventually letting them walk all the way alone.</p> <p>Parents also provided children with a mobile phone to carry and encouraged children to favour routes where there were plenty of other people around, and to travel with siblings or neighbourhood friends.</p> <p>Ultimately, we found that mobile children were supported through a kind of mobile scaffolding in which they were resourced through various kinds of companions: travel companions such as friends, companion devices such as phones, and ambient companions such as people along busier routes.</p> <p>Scaffolding children with a range of interdependent resources to support their mobility helps to challenge an implied dichotomy faced by parents between child dependence and independence.</p> <p><strong>Putting it into practice</strong></p> <p>Parents must always make individual judgements about their child’s capacity for increased independence in travel, as well as navigate options available in their local environment. Different geographical locations can have a large influence on options for child travel, and the participants in our study enjoyed the benefits – as well as risks – associated with living in an inner urban area.</p> <p>Nevertheless, by providing children with opportunities to experience and practice mobility wherever possible, children are able to develop their skills and confidence to become an active participant in their local community before venturing out into the wider world.</p> <p>Schools and local governments are assisting in developing children’s mobility by addressing infrastructure, safety measures, or formal active travel programs. Yet clearly there remain further opportunities for families and communities to build the interdependent scaffolding that supports children’s mobility through more local and informal organisation.</p> <p><em>Written by Lisa Gibbs and Bjorn Nansen. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/ditch-the-cotton-wool-and-let-kids-travel-independently-17038"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>.</em></p>

Travel Tips

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Labor wants to restore penalty rates within 100 days. But what about the independent umpire?

<p>Labor has promised to restore the penalty rates cut by the Fair Work Commission in its first 100 days.</p> <p>From its point of view, as part of a broader attack on the Coalition’s record on industrial relations, wage stagnation, widespread wage theft and the growth of insecure work, it makes sense.</p> <p>But it betrays a broader principle Labor holds dear - independence of the tribunal.</p> <p>The Coalition is saying little about it – still spooked by the electoral poison wrought by its <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WorkChoices">WorkChoices</a> legislation more than a decade ago.</p> <p>Throughout the campaign it’s been happy to fall back on claims about economic growth and tax cuts creating favourable conditions to lift wages generally.</p> <p>So what did the Fair Work Commission decide about penalty rates back in 2017, and what has occurred since?</p> <p><strong>The commission’s decision was limited</strong></p> <p>The cuts to penalty rates are often discussed as if they applied across the board. They didn’t. The commission’s decision affected penalty rates in the federal awards applying to only six sectors: fast food, retail, hospitality, pharmacies, clubs and restaurants.</p> <p>It determined that the penalty rates for working on public holidays in those awards would be reduced from July 1, 2017; and that the penalty rates for Sunday work in four of the awards would be phased down over four years. For example, full-time workers on the retail award had their Sunday rates cut from 200% of the normal rate to 195% in July 2017, then to 180% in July 2018, and were to have the cut to 165% in July this year, followed by a cut to 150% in July 2020.</p> <p>Extra payments for working irregular or unsocial hours are a longstanding feature of Australia’s industrial relations system. Traditionally, penalty rates have been included in awards with two objectives in mind: to compensate workers for having to work overtime or on weekends and public holidays, and to deter employers from requiring employees to work at these times.</p> <p>However, in reaching its decision, the commission found that the deterrence objective was no longer relevant for public holiday or Sunday penalty rates.</p> <p><strong>Sundays have become less sacred</strong></p> <p>The finding followed a report of the the Productivity Commission that found that working on Sundays was far more common than it had been in industries such as hospitality, restaurants and retail. This reflected a broader shift to a “24/7 economy”.</p> <p>In the Fair Work Commission’s word, the “disutility” endured by workers employed on Sundays was less than it was.</p> <p>Labor and the union movement have strongly criticised the commission’s decision in the two years since it was handed down. Labor very quickly introduced a bill to override it and restore the penalty rates of the 700,000 affected workers. The government opposed it and a similar bill introduced by The Greens, enabling Labor and the unions to hammer the prime minister in the election campaign for “<a href="https://www.penaltyratesrecord.com/cook">voting eight times</a>” to cut penalty rates.</p> <p>Labor has argued that over the recent ten-day Easter and Anzac Day break, the penalty rate cuts resulted in a loss of between <a href="https://www.billshorten.com.au/morrison_s_penalty_rate_cuts_leave_australian_workers_up_to_370_worse_off_over_easter_saturday_20_april_2019">$218 for a fast food worker and $369 for a pharmacy employee</a>.</p> <p>The union/Labor-aligned McKell Institute says workers will be $2.87 billion worse off by the end of the scheduled reduction in penalty rate cuts <a href="https://mckellinstitute.org.au/app/uploads/McKell-Fork-in-the-Road-April-26-2019-.pdf">if the Coalition is re-elected</a>.</p> <p><strong>But cutting penalty rates has created few jobs</strong></p> <p>Business groups have long claimed that cutting penalty rates will boost employment levels, a position endorsed by both the Productivity Commission and Fair Work Commission. However, research published by the Australia Institute last year finds that the retail and hospitality industries were among <a href="http://www.tai.org.au/content/penalty-rates-and-employment-one-year-later">the lowest industries for job growth in the year after rates were cut</a>.</p> <p>The Council of Small Business Organisations conceded two weeks ago that the cuts <a href="https://www.theaustralian.com.au/nation/politics/penalty-rate-cut-failed-to-create-one-new-job/news-story/4946a1915162c197a896063ae4009bb7">failed to create one new job</a>. Its chief executive, Peter Strong, said the impact had been minimal because it had coincided with above average increases in the minimum wage.</p> <p>“There’s no extra jobs on a Sunday,” he was reported as saying. “There’s been no extra hours. Certainly, I don’t know anyone (who gave workers extra hours). It’s been just a waste of time.”</p> <p>However, the Fair Work Commission is set up to be independent.</p> <p><strong>Labor’s approach carries longer term risks</strong></p> <p>A campaign spokesperson for the Liberal Party was quoted in the <a href="https://thenewdaily.com.au/news/election-2019/2019/04/22/penalty-rates-labor-liberal/">New Daily</a> last month saying: “‘Bill Shorten knows it is the independent Fair Work Commission that sets penalty rates, not the government. In fact, it was Bill Shorten … who set up the review into penalty rates. He even appointed the umpire.’”</p> <p>The Coalition is gilding the lily. It has been no great defender of the industrial tribunal’s independence in the past. Under WorkChoices it sidelined the commission completely. Lately it has stacked the commission with employer representatives.</p> <p>But it’s not a great idea to start overruling Fair Work Commission decisions that are unpopular. Yes, the penalty rate cuts are arbitrary, reducing the take-home pay of low-paid workers. But Australians have trusted the tribunal to make those judgment calls for more than 100 years.</p> <p>If Labor wants to influence Fair Work Commission decisions, it should change the criteria used by the commission to review awards – it plans to do so as part of its promise to turn the minimum wage into a “living wage”.</p> <p>Overturning decisions it doesn’t like will leave the Fair Work Commission wondering why it is bothering, and allow others to refuse to accept decisions they don’t like. And if Labor is elected and perseveres, it will also allow a less worker-friendly successor to overturn decisions it doesn’t like.</p> <p><em>Written by Anthony Forsyth. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/labor-wants-to-restore-penalty-rates-within-100-days-but-what-about-the-independent-umpire-116154"><em>The Conversation.</em></a></p>

Money & Banking

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The weird skill your grandchildren need to learn now

<p>When you get to a certain age, the only food you have difficulty opening is a jar of marmalade or perhaps a can of tuna. But when you’re just four years old, even a humble orange can leave you stumped, it seems.</p> <p>After primary schools began reporting that its students often struggled to open foods, a Brisbane child care centre decided to take action early, rolling out “independent eating” classes to three- and four-year-olds.</p> <p>“Parents pack lunches and kids rarely have any contact with zip locked bags, clingwrap or fruits that need to be peeled,” director of Timber Tots Child Care, Jana Walker, told the <a href="http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/this-orange-looks-good-but-i-cant-open-it/news-story/f0931117184e72b27556d42e04bfaf96" target="_blank"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Courier Mail</span></em></strong></a>. “When they get to school it can be very frustrating for them when they are left wrangling with their tub of yoghurt.”</p> <p>“Our classes will teach children how to make a sandwich and how to eat lunch on their laps without spills. We asked the local schools that our children will eventually attend how we could best prepare them. This was one of the areas. We want our children to be well prepared and confident about the school routine.”</p> <p>Experts are also advising parents and grandparents to avoid “overwrapping” children’s lunches. Accredited dietician Kate Di Prima told the newspaper, “Children have a small window of focus to eat their lunch as they are keen to play with their friends. My advice is to buy a bento-style lunch box with lots of compartments and avoid packaging entirely.”</p> <p>“Peel the oranges or put the sultanas into separate compartments. Zip lock bags are not necessary. Show the child how to open the lunch box and make sure they are competent before starting school.”</p> <p>Do you think these "independent eating" classes really necessary? Or should children be taught how to eat independently at home? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below. </p>

Relationships

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4 apps to help you stay independent as you age

<p>Undoubtedly one of the biggest concerns for ageing Kiwis is their capacity to remain independent the older they get. Thankfully, there are hundreds of apps out there designed to make life easier – no matter what your age. Here, we take a look at five of the best tools to help over-60s and their ageing relatives safe and independent.</p> <p><strong>1. Medication reminder</strong></p> <p>If you’ve reached the age of 60 and aren’t on any medications, you’re one of the lucky ones! For the rest of us, however, forgetting to take our tablets at the right time of day (or night) can be all too easy. The Medisafe pill reminder is available for <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/au/app/medisafe-free-pill-reminder/id573916946?mt=8"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">iOS</span></strong></a> and <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.medisafe.android.client&amp;hl=en"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Android</span></strong></a> sends you notifications throughout the day straight to your smartphone or tablet, reminding you to take your medications, vitamins and even alerting you when you need to refill your prescription.</p> <p><strong>2. Toilet finder</strong></p> <p>There’s nothing worse than being out and suddenly realising you need to use the restroom. With the Toilet Finder app, this’ll never happen again. The interactive map shows where the nearest bathrooms are, whether or not they’re accessible, and if they’re free to use – great if you’re travelling in a city that often charges for toilet use. The app is available on both <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/au/app/toilet-finder/id311896604?mt=8"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">iOS</span></strong></a> and <strong><a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.bto.toilet&amp;hl=en"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Android</span></a></strong> devices.</p> <p><strong>3. Find lost items</strong></p> <p>Do you have a habit of misplacing your keys, wallet and other belongings? Don’t worry – you’re not alone! The Tile app (on <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/au/app/tile-find-track-your-lost/id664939913?mt=8"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">iOS</span></strong></a> and <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.thetileapp.tile&amp;hl=en)),%20paired%20with%20the%20tiny%20Tile%20devices%20(https://www.thetileapp.com/"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Android</span></strong></a>) (starting from around $38 each) which can be attached to frequently-lost items, will ensure you never lose them again. The “Tiles” attached to your items interact via Bluetooth with your smartphone or tablet and will show you the exact GPS location of your misplaced item.</p> <p><strong>4. Remember where you parked your car</strong></p> <p>We’ve all been there at least once – exiting the shopping centre only to find we’ve completely forgotten where we parked. Thankfully, you can stop this ever happening again with a simple parking reminder app. On iOS, there’s <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/au/app/instaparking-car-park-tracking/id1047207955?mt=8"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Instaparking</span></strong></a> and for Android users, <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spawn.parkingreminder&amp;hl=en"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">ParKing Reminder</span></strong></a>, both of which let you pin and take a photo of where your car is parked so you can locate it easily.</p> <p>Tell us in the comments below, what else do you think people can do to stay independent as they get older?</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/2017/01/health-benefits-of-using-technology-over-80/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Incredible health benefits of using technology over 80</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/2017/01/technology-can-combat-loneliness/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>4 ways technology can combat loneliness</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/2016/09/tips-to-cope-with-losing-independence-with-age/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Tips to cope with losing independence with age</strong></em></span></a></p>

Caring

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Driving with dementia

<p>When is the right time to stop driving? It’s a question <a href="/health/caring/2016/05/when-to-stop-driving/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">we’ve asked before</span></strong></a>, but how about when dementia is a factor? That’s what aged care expert <a href="http://www.profjoe.com.au/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Professor Joseph E. Ibrahim</span></strong></a> from Monash University set out to explore in his video “Driving with Dementia”. In it, he recounts the story of a newly-diagnosed Alzheimer’s patient whom he convinces to stop driving, only to find it doesn’t quite work out the way he’d hoped.</p> <p>“This animated video addresses the myriad of complex issues involved in assessing whether a person with dementia is fit to drive,” Professor Ibrahim <a href="http://www.profjoe.com.au/all-cases-list/driving-with-dementia/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">said</span></strong></a>. “We hope that it will engage the audience and generate discussion amongst the general public and health professionals to help us all be better informed.”</p> <p>Have you ever been in this situation before with a loved one? Share your experience with us in the comments below.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/caring/2016/05/when-to-stop-driving/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The right time for elderly loved ones to stop driving</span></em></strong></a></p> <p><a href="/health/caring/2016/09/tips-to-cope-with-losing-independence-with-age/"><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Tips to cope with losing independence with age</span></strong></em></a></p> <p><a href="/health/caring/2016/08/new-invention-prevents-dementia-patients-wandering-off/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>New invention prevents dementia patients wandering off</strong></em></span></a></p>

Caring

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I love being on my own

<p><em><strong>Robyn Lee is in her 70s and lives with two lovable but naughty cats. She has published a book on seniors behaving badly, entitled Old Age and Villainy, and considers herself an expert on the subject. </strong></em></p> <p><img width="166" height="173" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/18849/cc-robyn-lee_166x173.jpg" alt="CC ROBYN LEE" style="float: left;"/></p> <p>Like most of us, I’ve experienced a marriage/relationship breakdown and once the dust settled, found myself living partnerless with two daughters to bring up. The first two years were the hardest and sometimes the loneliness would lead to unwise decisions. That’s now a long way in the past and I’ve been on my own for 30-odd years to date.</p> <p>Although saying 30 years makes it seem a long time to be on one’s own, in retrospect it doesn’t seem all that long. I lead a full life and don’t lack company when I want it. Therein lies the secret. I no longer need companionship and feel quite happy in my own company. I have close friends of both genders, with similar interests to mine, plus I belong to a writing group and a yoga class, as well as attending a language class in Italian. I also used to volunteer for a rescue organisation until circumstances meant I had to give that up.</p> <p>Being on one’s own doesn’t mean living a life devoid of a meaningful relationship. To me it means not having a live-in partner. I’ve become so used to my own space, I know I’d resent sharing it with anyone else. A good friend of mine once said that he makes a lousy partner but he’s a really good ex! I can relate to that very well. However, it is nice to be able to suggest to either one of my women or men friends that we meet up for coffee or a meal, if I feel in the mood for company.</p> <p>Over the years, I’ve found living on my own has decided advantages. I’m responsible for all my decisions, good and bad. I don’t have to depend on any one to, say, bring in the wheelie bin, get the car serviced or consult about things such as holidays… small things, yet they could lead to problems in a relationship. There’s no one to get grumpy if I want some time to myself and best of all, the bathroom is all mine! I sound selfish and I freely admit it, but my single friends, both male and female feel the same. Or, as one friend put it, we’re independent. I hate the thought of being a burden on either of my daughters but on the rare occasion I may need help with something, I know I can ask.</p> <p>One thing I have found about living on my own is that making an effort to join clubs and organisations I am interested in is important otherwise, the danger of my becoming a recluse is very real. I also make sure I eat nutritious meals as, apart from the fact that I love food, at an older age malnutrition could become a problem thus leading to impaired health. Oh, I forgot to mention, the odd glass of wine is also very good for one’s wellbeing!</p> <p>Over the years of being on my own, I’ve got to know myself very well. It’s been a long and sometimes difficult journey but I now revel in the knowledge that I’m my own person and if I did decide to enter into a relationship, it would be because I want to, not because I need to. Neediness is repellent. The desperation of a needy person drives others away and I state that from experiences from when I was a lot younger. I was so self-involved that I couldn’t see that my desperate neediness spelt disaster for any relationship. I believe I would be referred to as “high maintenance” today. It took a wise counsellor, a lot of tears and a change in my outlook to start me on the path to where I am now. I’m happy with who I am and confident in the decisions I make.</p> <p>I’m certainly not suggesting that being in a relationship means that someone is dependent and lacking insight in anyway. Not at all, this is my experience alone that I’m sharing with you. So here I am today, happily living on my own and well on the way to becoming a crazy cat lady… what fun!</p> <p><em>*Main photo is a stock image, and not of Robyn Lee. </em></p> <p><em><strong>If you have a story to share please get in touch at <a href="mailto:melody@oversixty.com.au">melody@oversixty.com.au</a></strong></em></p> <p><strong>Related links: </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/07/friends-the-key-to-long-and-healthy-life/"><em>Friends are the key to a long and healthy life</em></a></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/08/why-some-people-take-breakups-harder-than-others/"><em>Why some people take breakups harder than others</em></a></strong></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="/lifestyle/relationships/2016/07/relationship-advice-to-ignore/"><em>5 pieces of relationship advice you really should ignore</em></a></strong></span></p>

Relationships

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Tips to help you stay independent and at home as you age

<p>For many older people, daily tasks once completed with ease, become harder to manage without help. Many people fear that this may mean they’ll have to leave their homes to go into a care home. But that doesn’t always have to be the case. With some extra help and support however, many otherwise healthy older New Zealanders can still live in the comfort of their own home. Here are some of the <strong><a href="http://theblueroom.bupa.com.au/caring/stay-independent/support-services-to-help-keep-you-at-home-for-longer" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">most common support services available to help give you, or a loved one, that offer extra support at home.</span></a></strong></p> <p><strong>1. Household chores</strong></p> <p>If you’re finding you need help with chores around the house, such as cleaning, or doing the laundry or gardening, the government’s aged care services can help.</p> <p>A basic level of home-care assistance is available, where a care worker will come around to help ensure your house and garden are clean, tidy and safe. Danielle Robertson, CEO of national home-care service Dial-An-Angel, says that basic home care is also a way of getting ageing individuals  accustomed to having care workers in their homes. There is a range of other services, and other levels of care available, depending on your needs.</p> <p><strong>2. <a href="http://theblueroom.bupa.com.au/caring/stay-independent/food-for-thought-home-delivered-meal" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Meals</span></a></strong></p> <p>Charity organisations like <a href="http://www.mealsonwheels.org.au/Find-Us.aspx" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Meals on Wheels</strong></span></a> deliver high quality, nutritious meals to people in need. It isn’t a means-tested service and they’re often flexible to cater to your needs. If your needs are more complex, the government’s aged care services can help bring a care worker into your house to prepare meals.</p> <p><strong>3. <a href="http://theblueroom.bupa.com.au/caring/stay-independent/5-ways-your-loved-one-can-get-around" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Transport</span></a></strong></p> <p>Most local councils offer free or cheaper transport services to places like shopping centres, libraries and community centres, for people who can no longer get around.</p> <p>As Rebecca Morton, chairperson of the Victorian Community Transport Association, explains, “It’s aimed towards people who aren’t able to use public transport, or who need a low level of assistance, or in regional areas it could be about accessibility.”</p> <p>You may have to undergo an eligibility test to access these services, and there are some costs involved but it’s often at a much reduced price. Contact your local council for more information.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://theblueroom.bupa.com.au/caring/stay-independent/how-to-help-safety-proof-a-bathroom" target="_blank">How safe is your home? Read these tips to help make your bathroom fall proof.</a></strong></span></p> <p>THIS IS A PROMOTIONAL FEATURE</p>

Caring

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Why you should “date” yourself first

<p>By the time you reach your 60s and beyond, you’ve got a fair few experiences under your belt – you’ve dated, you’ve been in a couple relationships and you’ve likely been married. It’s why jumping in the dating pool can seem so daunting – there’s a past you simply can’t forget whether you want to or not. And it doesn’t help when the first foray back into dating is generally not the best. But don’t be put off forever, maybe the antidote you need is to “date” yourself first.</p><p>It might seem like a strange concept but when you “date” yourself – when you invest time, energy and money into yourself, you are rewarded with a better understanding and love for yourself. Often when we’re single after decades of a relationship, we might not know ourselves as well as we once did. Taking the time to “date” yourself is a way of reconnecting with yourself and rediscovering who you are and what makes you a wonderful person, a person that anybody would be lucky to date! If you still need convincing, here are five more reasons why “dating” yourself is worth it.</p><p><strong>Gets you out of your comfort zone</strong> – If you want to go see the latest movie in the cinema but not gone simply because you couldn’t find someone, just go by yourself! Don’t stop doing activities you like because you can’t find company, go by yourself and enjoy your own company. It’s not about sitting home alone bored but actively planning and pursuing activities and interests you like. And don’t even think about cancelling – after all, you wouldn’t stand up a date!</p><p><strong>Happiness starts from within</strong> – Of course, a love one enhances happiness but a relationship shouldn’t be solely responsible for your happiness. Making that effort to do things you love and makes you happy will show you that you don’t need anyone else to live a happy and fulfilling life. If someone does come along, it’s great to share that happiness but it’s not a requisite!</p><p><strong>Know yourself better</strong> – Now you have all these “dates” planned with yourself just think how much more you can discover yourself. When you get out of your comfort zone, you’ll be surprised what else will interest you. Don’t be afraid to try new things and strike up a conversation with the coffee shop girl or that other dog owner!</p><p><strong>Feel better about yourself –</strong> When you actively value and care for yourself – just like you would if you do for someone else in a relationship – your self-esteem and self-worth will increase. Learn to value your strengths and experiences and don’t dwell on weaknesses or struggles. It helps form healthy relationships down the track because you know what you deserve and won’t settle for.</p><p><strong>How to be independent</strong> – Dating yourself teaches you to enjoy alone time and be independent – remember just because you’re alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. Also when we spend time by ourselves we better develop our own opinions, passions, goals and memories.</p><p><strong>Related link: <a href="http://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/dating/2014/09/signs-that-you-are-ready-to-date/" target="_blank"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Signs that you are ready to date</span></a></strong></p>

Relationships

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