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New research calls for later-in-life driving lessons

New research has shown that older drivers should be coming forward to test and update their driving skills to keep people safer on the road, and keep senior drivers behind the wheel for longer. A new website launched by the University of New South Wales (UNSW) and neuroscience institute NeuRA aims to help drivers aged in their 50s and above stay safe when driving, while also helping to update their skills to keep them on the roads for longer. Cognitive aging expert and UNSW professor Kaarin Anstey told <a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/how-old-is-too-old-to-drive-in-australia-new-research-shows-ageing-motorists-should-have-driving-lessons/6a470fa9-f0c3-4571-a229-672e689f1e76" target="_blank" rel="noopener">9News</a> later-in-life driving lessons were crucial as our population grows and ages. "We obviously want people to stay on the road as long as it's safe for them to do so. And that's the issue: they have to be safe on the road," Anstey explained. "That's the point of the website, to empower older drivers, family members and health professionals." "We've been working on this issue of older drivers for over 20 years because the second biggest cause of injury in older adults is motor vehicle accidents or crashes (after falls)." Anstey said her research in <a href="https://www.unsw.edu.au/newsroom/news/2024/11/should-age-determine-how-long-drive-car" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Better Drive Study</a> analysed how the driving habits of older motorists changed if they had a refresher course. "A lot of people got their licence in an era where the cars were different, the roads were different, the road rules were different," she said. "We just feel there's a certain amount of improvement that probably all of us, not just the older age group but lots of people, could benefit in refreshing their driving skills." Anstey's pilot study, that followed motorists aged over 65 over 12 months, found older people were more likely to develop bad habits such as not checking blind spots or not keeping up to date with key road rules. She said people who did the driving lessons had a "big improvement" in their safety on the road. Later-in-life lessons could also identify if a person should be looking at giving up their licence, as Anstey added, "Sometimes there's people who we find who are not very safe drivers, or who have an impairment that they may not have been aware of." When asked what they thought of the initiative, some older drivers told 9News, "I think it's a good idea, there are some older people who definitely need a refresher but there are some that are still quite good." "I'd rather not go through those grills but I guess for everyone's safety it's a very good thing," another added. Image credits: Shutterstock

Travel Trouble

How can I make summer style part of my self-care routine?

Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be complicated. With summer just around the corner, it’s a great time to refresh your self-care routine with small changes that help you feel your best. One easy way to do this is by choosing clothing made from breathable Australian cotton and linen. They keep you cool, feel great against the skin and make looking put-together effortless. In this guide, we’ll show you how your summer wardrobe can fit into your self-care routine, featuring pieces from Sussan, a retailer known for easy, comfortable styles that last all season. Simplify your day with matching sets <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/11/Sussan01.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> A big part of self-care is simplifying your day as much as possible, and that includes your clothing choices. Summer is the time for relaxed, unfussy outfits that don’t require a lot of planning. <a href="https://www.sussan.com.au/clothing/sets" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Matching sets</a> are perfect for this because they take away the guesswork. Everything is already coordinated, which saves you time and makes your mornings easier. A soft denim skirt made from Australian cotton paired with a lightweight tee is breathable and practical for warm days. These pieces help you stay comfy when running errands or enjoying time with friends. Stay cool all day in linen dresses <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/11/Sussan04.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> <a href="https://www.sussan.com.au/clothing/linen/linen-dresses" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Linen dresses</a> are an easy go-to for keeping cool and comfortable during hot summer days. The fabric is light, breathable and perfect for warm weather, which is why it’s a great fit for everything from weekend barbecues to beach walks. With styles like shirt dresses, minis, midis and maxis, there’s plenty of variety to match whatever the day calls for. Styling a linen dress is also simple and practical. With the right accessories, it can easily shift from a casual daytime outfit to an evening look. Style it with a hat for an easy brunch outfit or a trip to the markets. To dress it up, add a light jacket and some jewellery, like a pair of earrings or a statement necklace. Unwind with breathable loungewear <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/11/Sussan03.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Practising self-care through summer style can be as simple as choosing clothes that help you relax and feel comfy all day long. This is easy to achieve with loungewear made from pure linen and linen blends. Look for lightweight loungewear tops, pants and shorts that feel soft on the skin and keep you cool as you move through your day. For a summer-ready look, pair a linen top with matching shorts for warm afternoons, or switch to linen pants for a little more coverage on cooler evenings. End your day in Australian cotton sleepwear Winding down at the end of the day feels easier when you’re wearing clothes that make you feel calm and cosy. <a href="https://www.sussan.com.au/shop-the-edit-sleepwear/australian-cotton-sleepwear" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Australian cotton sleepwear</a> in soft, breathable fabrics is a great option as it sits lightly on the skin and keeps you comfortable during warm nights. You can mix and match Australian cotton pyjama tops, tanks, shorts and pants or wear nighties to match your mood and comfort level. These versatile let you settle in and enjoy quiet evenings at home. Wear what feels good this summer <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/11/Sussan02.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /> Updating your summer wardrobe with comfy, breathable pieces is an easy way to bring self-care into your routine. With matching sets, linen dresses, loungewear and soft Australian cotton sleepwear from <a href="https://www.sussan.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Sussan</a>, you can have more time to focus on yourself and enjoy the season your way. Start refreshing your wardrobe with these pieces that feel good to wear, and use your summer style to prioritise self-care! Images: Sussan This is a sponsored article produced in partnership with Sussan

Beauty & Style

"I’m coming home from a party, and I don’t want to end up getting arrested": do driving apps help people break road rules?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/verity-truelove-1237331">Verity Truelove</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-nicolls-1299069">Michelle Nicolls</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/oscar-oviedo-trespalacios-1417150">Oscar Oviedo-Trespalacios</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/delft-university-of-technology-1040">Delft University of Technology</a> Apps such as Google Maps, Apple Maps and Waze can tell drivers when they are approaching speed cameras or random breath testing stations. Countries such as Germany, France and Switzerland have banned apps from displaying these enforcement locations. But what effect are these apps having in Australia – are they helping drivers break road rules? Our new <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0925753524002972">paper</a>, published in the journal Safety Science, examined this question. We found this technology can, in some cases, contribute to people thinking they are invincible on the roads. However, we also found they can sometimes help people drive more safely. <h2>Being made aware of enforcement can help road safety</h2> We conducted focus groups and interviews with a total of 58 drivers from Queensland, to understand how the use of this technology influences perceptions of being caught for breaking road rules. One driver told us: "If I know it’s coming up, I’ll put my phone down. If I was, say, texting or checking something, but then like once a good few 100 metres away, I sort of pick it up again, depending though." Another said: "It sort of depends where I am driving, I guess. Like, if I am driving on a country road and there is a speed camera there I would probably slow down for the speed camera and then sort of speed up again once I am sort of past that; it sort of depends on the circumstances." We also found that, for some people, being made aware of enforcement locations can help drivers better regulate their speed. This helped them comply with road rules more consistently. Waze also shows the speed limit in the area, which further assisted some drivers to stick to the speed limit. One driver told us: "I’m a bit careful if I just look at the speedo and just double check that I’m on the right amount of speed." Another said: "It just gives you a warning like, ‘OK, you need to check your speed.’ Just to double-check you’re going on the right speed perhaps or when it’s a camera coming up." <h2>Concerning behaviours</h2> Concerningly, we also found some drivers who use these apps are looking at and touching their screens more than they otherwise would. This can distract drivers and increase their <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0925753524001097">risk of crashing</a>. One driver told us they post traffic updates on the app they use while driving, “which I know is wrong.” Another said: "Just hit the button on the phone. Just two steps after I go past the camera." Another driver told us: "It’s so helpful […] Especially if it’s, say, late night and I’m coming home from a party, and I don’t want to end up getting arrested." One driver said: "I probably feel slightly more invincible, which is probably not a good thing." When asked why these apps are used, one driver said: "I guess the drug and the drink-driving." <h2>Apps can help and hinder road safety</h2> We know breaking road rules significantly contributes to <a href="https://www.who.int/teams/social-determinants-of-health/safety-and-mobility/global-status-report-on-road-safety-2023">crashes and road fatalities</a>, with deaths on Australian roads continuing to <a href="https://www.bitre.gov.au/publications/ongoing/road_deaths_australia_monthly_bulletins">increase</a> over time. On the one hand, when drivers are aware of enforcement measures like cameras and police, they are more likely to stop breaking the rules in those areas. That’s particularly true for behaviours such as speeding and using a phone while driving, we found. Using apps that flag where cameras and police are located also means drivers would be more exposed to enforcement activities than they otherwise would be on a normal drive. On the other hand, our results suggest some drivers are using these applications to break road rules more often in places where they think they won’t be caught. These apps are also not always completely accurate. For instance, even though Waze can display some police operation locations such as roadside breath testing, it can’t capture all on-road police activities. Further, camera locations are not always up to date or accurate. <h2>Weighing benefits against risks</h2> While these apps do have some benefits, it’s important to weigh these against the risks. It’s also important to recognise traffic enforcement isn’t just there to make you comply with road rules at a specific point; it is meant to remind you of the constant risk of being caught and to encourage consistent rule compliance. The goal is to ensure that drivers are following the traffic rules across the entire network, not just in isolated spots. With road fatalities at some of the <a href="https://www.bitre.gov.au/publications/ongoing/road_deaths_australia_monthly_bulletins">highest rates we’ve seen in recent years</a>, we need everyone to work together to stop more preventable deaths and injuries.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/237664/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/verity-truelove-1237331">Verity Truelove</a>, Senior Research Fellow in Road Safety Research, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-nicolls-1299069">Michelle Nicolls</a>, PhD Candidate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-the-sunshine-coast-1068">University of the Sunshine Coast</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/oscar-oviedo-trespalacios-1417150">Oscar Oviedo-Trespalacios</a>, A/Professor Responsible Risk Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/delft-university-of-technology-1040">Delft University of Technology</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/im-coming-home-from-a-party-and-i-dont-want-to-end-up-getting-arrested-do-driving-apps-help-people-break-road-rules-237664">original article</a>. </div>

Legal

Readers response: What are your driving pet peeves?

When it comes to reckless driving, some specific actions can make anyone irate. We asked our readers what their driving pet peeves are, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Robyn Kay - People who don’t indicate! And people who don’t know the road rules, and red light runners. Clay Lorraine Sumsion - People who reverse out of a car parking space at a shopping centre when you are going past and think they have the right of way! Karen Ambrose - When I’m diligently sticking to the speed limit on the highway and they keep whizzing past me. Oh well, they can get booked and I’ll be laughing. Barbara Belmonte - (1) motorists who leave about 2 car lengths from the car in front at traffic lights preventing those who want to turn left. (2) motorists who don't know how to use roundabouts. Ruth Hourigan - Drivers who drive 10 to 15 km hour under the speed limit then speed up to 5km hour over the speed limit the second you come to an overtaking lane. Dotty Weary - People who daydream at traffic lights!!! Dorrise Humes - Drivers who have their lights on high beam in lit up areas, especially in the city. Jo Pollock - People driving too close behind me. It just makes me slow down. Helen Johnson - Leaving trolleys in parking bays at supermarkets. Judi Saunders - Tailgaters and drivers who weave in and out of all lanes. Susan Vemer - People who don't use their indicators properly! Image credits: Shutterstock

Legal

Aussie drivers warned over commonly ignored road rule

Aussie drivers are being reminded to follow simple road rules and etiquette when driving on a highway, with one often ignored rule costing drivers hundreds. Police are fining drivers caught driving in the right lane on a highway without overtaking anyone. A Victorian man was fined $198 and two demerit points over the weekend "after travelling 3km in the right-hand lane and passing no one,” Senior Sergeant Aaron Riches told the Geelong Advertiser. Penalties also apply in other states and territories, including NSW where the penalty can be as much as $410. Victoria Police told Yahoo News Australia that this wasn't part of a crackdown, as they are always monitoring roads to ensure drivers are following the road rules. "Police are out and about every day, making sure people are following the road rules. Road safety is a priority for police, and we will continue to focus our efforts on ensuring those using the roads are safe," a spokesperson said. According to VicRoads, when travelling on a multi-lane road with a speed limit of over 80km/h, drivers must keep out of the right lane unless they are overtaking, turning right or if all lanes are congested. In NSW a P-plater was caught "disobeying" this rule and copped a $410 fine. Sydney lawyer Avinash Singh of Astor Legal said some drivers get of easy, with penalties actually reaching $2,200. "On a road where there is a speed limit of more than 80km/h, you must not drive in the right lane, unless you're overtaking," he said. Although unlikely, "you can incur a fine of up to $2,200 for disobeying this rule," he added. NSW Police also reminded drivers in August against ignoring "keep left signs unless overtaking" as travelling in the right lane has resulted in "an increase in collisions involving drivers overtaking other vehicles". Images: NSW Police Highway Patrol

Travel Trouble

Readers response: What’s the most unexpected thing you’ve learned about yourself through travel?

When it comes to travelling, it's not uncommon to have revelations about yourself while self-reflecting in a new place. We asked our readers what the most unexpected thing they've learned about themselves is through travel, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Penny Corbin - I don't need the cathedrals, monuments, the tours, I just love walking in the space and finding my own beauty wherever it leads me. Dom Cimino - That I really love meeting people of all backgrounds. Jenny Halkett - To treat it as an adventure, and don’t be afraid to ask a qualified person for advice. Kristeen Collison - That I’m more adventurous than I thought. Angie Jansen - That I love it. Just new places, culture, food, history, the wonderful people, the adventures you have and the memories, it’s the experiencing new things and learning, exploring, being amazed. Just so grateful I can still do it. Palma Hemer - To have a sense of humour, rain hail or shine. Anne Jenkin - That I can enjoy the travel by myself but I do like meeting new people on these trips. Kath Sheppard - To try to learn basic phrases when travelling. It's definitely appreciated. Kerry Fischer - Soak up the vibe wherever you are! Every place has beauty! Jacqueline Buchanan - That a smile speaks many languages. Martin Drake - That there is just too much to see and not enough time. Image credits: Shutterstock

Travel Tips

Olympian's life "a living nightmare" after simple self-check out mistake

A former Olympian has spoken about how her life was ruined after she accidentally failed to scan to items at a self-checkout machine in Walmart. Canadian athlete Meaggan Pettipiece, 48, was arrested on March 28 in Indiana for theft, possession of marijuana and possession of a controlled substance. The charges have since been dropped, but Pettipiece lost her prestigious job as the head coach of the Valparaiso University softball team as a result and says her career and reputation have been ruined. The ordeal began when the self-checkout machine at Walmart reportedly failed to scan the asparagus and ham that Pettipiece intended to purchase. Walmart security saw that she failed to scan the items — worth a total of $67 — prompting them to call the police despite her having paid $167 for her other groceries. Pettipiece was arrested and when police searched her they found three disposable vapes in her purse, along with two unopened blister packs containing anti-nausea medication Zofran. The former athlete said the vapes did not contain any nicotine or THC, and the anti-nausea pills belonged to an assistant coach who had asked her to keep them in her purse during a softball game, days before her arrest. “We both forgot about them,” Pettipiece told the National Post. The outlet reported that earlier this month, her lawyer submitted an application for dismissal that included her account of the incident, proof of her assistant’s prescription, and character reference letters. After reading the application, her charges were dropped by justice officials on September 19, but the damage caused by the incident "changed everything". “It is bittersweet,” she told National Post. “I’m happy, obviously, the charges were dismissed. The sad part is the damage it did to my career. It has changed everything in my life.” Pettipiece resigned as head coach of the softball team shortly after the Walmart incident. "It's been five months, a living nightmare. I lost my career, I lost my job, the life I was building and it's been really difficult." Along with the damage to her career, Pettipiece said the effect on her reputation has been equally heartbreaking. “The softball community is a tight-knit group and it (the news) went through like wildfire,” she said. “You really do learn who the people are that really believe in you and trust you and are truly a friend for you." The former athlete is now living in Ohio with her family, and though the charges against her have been dismissed she is worried the damage "can't be reversed". “The tough thing is, how do you get out to people that you are innocent? And this damage was done for something so ridiculous,” Pettipiece told the outlet. “I’m not sure of the future. For now, I’m going to stay at home and focus on my kids. I’d like to figure out which direction I’m going to go in.” Image: Valparaiso University Athletics/ ZikG / Shutterstock.com

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The biggest faux pas for self-funded retirees

Whether you have been retired for some time or are still looking forward to the time you can step back, chances are there are important considerations you may have overlooked. From planning and pensions to family and housing, these are the biggest self-funded retirement mistakes I come across, and some insights into how to avoid repeating them: <ol> <li>Lack of a plan</li> </ol> Not having a retirement plan is perhaps the most basic faux pas, but often the most costly. A detailed plan should cover things like: <ul> <li>When you AND your partner will retire </li> <li>Where you will live (you may want to downsize, relocate, seek assisted living)</li> <li>Anticipated living costs (living situation, health, lifestyle)</li> <li>How you will spend your time (hobbies, travel, volunteering, time with family)</li> <li>Strategies to maximise investments and superannuation</li> <li>Tax minimisation strategies</li> </ul> Remember: failing to plan = planning to fail. <ol start="2"> <li>Poor planning</li> </ol> Having a plan is the starting point, but it won’t get you far if it’s incomplete, not updated as circumstances change, or omits critical factors. For couples, not considering age differences is a big mistake. One partner retiring before the other can have big shifts on financial and tax dynamics and even the relationship itself. Then there is end-of-life care, particularly if the younger partner is still working. Not building in a safety buffer is another no-no. Too many retirees have been caught out by the high inflation of recent years, having calculated their anticipated income needs on much lower living costs. Balance short-term and long-term goals: being overly conservative early on can limit your financial situation down the track. And no plan is complete without contingencies for worst case scenarios – insurances, protections, back-up options. <ol start="3"> <li>Insecure housing </li> </ol> Government data has long shown major differences in quality of life for retirees who own their home versus those who don’t. Homelessness or insecure housing, the mercy of the rental market, and inability to customise your home as you age or if you need specialised support with disability or health issues are some of the challenges renters face. Furthermore, public estimates of how much the average Australian needs to retire typically assume home ownership – meaning rent is not part of that calculation. That’s a huge living cost you may not have factored into your retirement planning. <ol start="4"> <li>Unclaimed pensions</li> </ol> Contrary to popular belief, self-funded retirement and claiming a pension are not mutually exclusive. You may be eligible for a part-pension, calculated pro-rata according to the value of your assets and other income. Claiming a part-pension, no matter how small it may be, reduces how much income you need to draw down from super – making it last longer. Don’t fall into another common trap when applying – overestimating your assets. It’s easy to assume your non-monetary assets are worth more than what they really are, reducing how much pension you receive or negating your eligibility altogether. <ol start="5"> <li>Depleted Bank of Mum and Dad</li> </ol> With home ownership increasingly out of reach for younger adults, the Bank of Mum and Dad is often sought to bridge the gap. How you do so will impact your own situation. Giving more than you can afford can leave you overstretched. Missed loan repayments could see you fall behind on your own bills. Not putting agreements in writing can lead to disputes down the track. Having a loan guarantee called in could see you homeless. Be wise about decisions you make here and don’t let heartstrings cloud your judgement. <ol start="6"> <li>Suffering in silence</li> </ol> Elder abuse is a sad but significant problem. Given they have money in the bank, self-funded retirees are often the most vulnerable. Its effects can be far-reaching, impacting your mental and physical health, financial wellbeing, social interactions, and quality of life. Be aware of <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/retirement-income/are-you-a-victim-of-elder-abuse-without-even-realising-it">the signs that something isn’t right</a>. If you recognise it happening to you – or someone you know – speak up and seek help. <ol start="7"> <li>Forgoing professional advice</li> </ol> How much of the above details did you already know? Chances are, not all of them. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Money is a complicated business and you simply don’t know what you don’t know, which is why seeking independent, tailored advice from a professional is so important. A good financial advisor can help you identify new opportunities and manage risks you may not have considered, limit expenses and also work with your accountant to minimise your tax. Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women. Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au/">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a> Disclaimer: The information in this article is of a general nature only and does not constitute personal financial or product advice. Any opinions or views expressed are those of the authors and do not represent those of people, institutions or organisations the owner may be associated with in a professional or personal capacity unless explicitly stated. Helen Baker is an authorised representative of BPW Partners Pty Ltd AFSL 548754. Image credits: Shutterstock

Retirement Income

Simon Baker charged with drink driving offences

The Mentalist star Simon Baker has been charged with two drink driving related offences. The 55-year-old is set to appear in Mullumbimby Local court next month in northern NSW, and he was charged with “attempt to drive while under influence of alcohol – first offence” and “drive vehicle under influence of alcohol – first offence”. He was granted bail with no conditions. The Hollywood actor has been nominated for a TV Week Logie Award on Sunday night for his leading role in the Netflix adaptation of Australian author Trent Dalton's Boy Swallows Universe. The hit Netflix series has been nominated for 11 awards - the most of any other actor or show. The actor earned a star on the Hollywood Walk of Famefor his portrayal of Patrick Jane in The Mentalist between 2008 and 2015. He has also won multiple AACTA awards and been nominated for Emmy and Golden Globe awards. Baker's career began in Aussie soaps like E Street, A Country Practice and Home and Away. He has also featured in movies including LA Confidential, The Devil Wears Prada, and earlier in his career featured in the original Heartbreak High. The actor split with his wife Rebecca Rigg in 2021 following 23 years of marriage, and the pair have three children and own a property together in Nashua, near Byron Bay. Images: Jean Cummings/THA/ Shutterstock editorial

Legal

Man fined $7000 for driving offences he did not commit

A New South Wales man has copped $7000 in fines and lost his licence, after he was fraudulently nominated for 14 driving offences by a woman in Victoria. Speaking to 2GB, Ross claimed he was falsely nominated through cars registered to two companies in Victoria, and shared an image of the woman behind the wheel. "I haven't been to Victoria in the last five years and I haven't driven a car in Victoria in the last five years," he told host Ben Fordham. "It's not me." Fordham then questioned whether he had "flowing long hair" as seen on the driver, to which he replied: "I don't, unfortunately. It's short hair." Ross, whose licence has been suspended, has been trying to clear the offences from his name. He has spoken to several government departments in both states including Service NSW and Vic Roads, submitted statutory declaration, police report, request of an extension and a nomination statement, to no avail. "I've tried to highlight that I'm a male and she is a female but it's still ongoing," Ross said. "It's a very convoluted process. "When someone assumes your identity in a fraudulent manner, it's no easy feat kind of getting it back." Fordham, who said the situation was "unbelievable", promised to step in and solve the matter for Ross within 24 hours, saying that they'll discuss this again tomorrow. Image: Nine

Legal

Just 15 centimetres of water can float a car – but we are failing to educate drivers about the dangers of floodwaters

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/amy-peden-1136424">Amy Peden</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kyra-hamilton-331594">Kyra Hamilton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a> Every year in Australia, people driving into floodwaters drown and many more are <a href="https://www.ses.nsw.gov.au/disaster-tabs-header/flood/">rescued</a>. Do you know what to do when there’s water on the road? We searched all state and territory learner and driver handbooks for information about floodwaters, including signage. Our findings, published in the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022437524000860?via%3Dihub">Journal of Safety Research</a>, are disturbing. Across half of Australia’s states and territories, the driver handbook ignores flooding. That’s a missed opportunity, considering the handbook contains road rules and provides advice on how to navigate safely. While some states fail to provide any flood-related information, others give detailed practical guidance. Only the New South Wales handbook includes explanation of the meaning and purpose of flood signage. This is despite almost all states and territories experiencing vehicle-related flood <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/jfr3.12616">deaths</a>, including <a href="https://currents.plos.org/disasters/article/causal-pathways-of-flood-related-river-drowning-deaths-in-australia/">drowning</a>, between 2001 and 2017. It’s a major problem that is only going to get worse as the climate changes. So our research shows driver education needs to come up to speed, fast. <h2>Why do people drive into floodwaters?</h2> Our previous <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2212420918301869">research</a> revealed motorists can feel compelled to drive into floodwaters for a range of reasons. These include time pressures such as being late for work or school, or needing to get home to family or pets. Sometimes they feel pressured by their passengers, or motorists behind them on the road, urging them to cross. People also report having been encouraged or instructed as learners to drive into floodwaters. Past experience as a passenger also influences a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1369847823000475">learner driver’s</a> future willingness to drive into floodwaters. So the views of significant others, such as their supervising driver, strongly influence decisions around driving into floodwaters. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZtlXpDBjU1Q?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>Avoid driving into floodwaters, for life’s sake.</figcaption></figure> <h2>What we did and what we found</h2> We assessed all publicly available, government-issued learner and driver handbooks (12 documents) across all six Australian states and two territories. We also looked for flood-related signage. We used a method for reviewing online material through a systematic search including in-document key words and imagery. Four jurisdictions provided no information on flooding in the handbook. In the ACT, South Australia, Tasmania and Victoria, drivers need to look elsewhere for information on floodwaters and driving safety. Only one jurisdiction provided information on flood signage such as depth markers and “road subject to flooding”. Hats off to the <a href="https://www.nsw.gov.au/sites/default/files/2022-11/Road-User-Handbook-English.pdf">NSW Road User Handbook</a>, which warns: <blockquote> Floodwater is extremely dangerous. Find another way or wait until the road is clear. It’s safer to turn around than to drive in floodwater. </blockquote> For the states and territories that did provide information on floodwaters in the handbook, the content varied. NSW, Queensland and the Northern Territory warned against entering floodwaters in a vehicle. They highlighted the dangers and financial penalties associated with driving on closed roads. In the NT and Western Australia, handbooks provided practical information on when and how to cross floodwaters safely, such as how to gauge safe water depth based on vehicle size, and to avoid fast-flowing water. Although well-intentioned, judgements around what constitutes fast-flowing water are subjective and hard for any driver to assess, let alone learner drivers. Even drivers of larger vehicles such as four-wheel drives are regularly involved in flood-related <a href="https://currents.plos.org/disasters/article/causal-pathways-of-flood-related-river-drowning-deaths-in-australia/">vehicle drowning fatalities</a>. Just <a href="https://www.ses.vic.gov.au/news-and-media/campaigns/15-to-float">45cm</a> of water can float a large 4WD, and considerably less for smaller vehicles. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/t4ilUbMXZAQ?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>A small car can float in just 15cm of water.</figcaption></figure> Handbooks represent valuable sources of safety information, particularly for new drivers who must learn important road rules to progress from one licence to another. Such graduated driver licensing schemes reduce road traffic injury, particularly among <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022437523000385">young people</a>. However, many of these handbooks fail to provide consistent, practical evidence-based information about flooding. There is an opportunity here to support safer driving behaviours. <h2>Safety tips for all drivers</h2> We encourage drivers to follow these safety tips: <ul> <li>avoid driving into floodwaters</li> <li>identify alternative routes, so you have a <a href="https://theconversation.com/when-roads-become-rivers-forming-a-plan-b-can-stop-people-driving-into-floodwaters-183036">plan B</a></li> <li>familiarise yourself, and any learner drivers in the household or under your care, with the meaning and purpose of flood signage</li> <li>understand the legal consequences of crossing a road closed sign</li> <li>discuss the dangers of driving into floodwaters with learner drivers and help them formulate their own plan B</li> <li>model safe driving for all passengers, including children.</li> </ul> <h2>Time to lift our game</h2> Driving into floodwaters remains the main cause of <a href="https://currents.plos.org/disasters/article/causal-pathways-of-flood-related-river-drowning-deaths-in-australia/">flood-related drowning</a> in Australia. For our emergency service personnel, driver behaviour, including people ignoring road closed signs, <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/hpja.181">significantly complicates</a> the already dangerous act of performing a flood rescue. Extreme weather and flooding are likely to become more frequent and intense in the future. That means the chance of being faced with a flooded road is growing. So information about driving during floods is vital for all, from the newly licensed to the experienced driver. We hope our research will encourage all states and territories to include provide practical, evidence-based advice on floods in driver handbooks as soon as possible.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/233116/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/amy-peden-1136424">Amy Peden</a>, NHMRC Research Fellow, School of Population Health & co-founder UNSW Beach Safety Research Group, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kyra-hamilton-331594">Kyra Hamilton</a>, Associate Professor in Applied Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/just-15-centimetres-of-water-can-float-a-car-but-we-are-failing-to-educate-drivers-about-the-dangers-of-floodwaters-233116">original article</a>. </div>

Travel Trouble

Roadside cameras set to target more infringements

Millions of Aussie drivers are being warned as authorities expand the number of infringements being targeted by roadside cameras. The technology, initially used to detect mobile phone use, will now target new road rules. "The laws were brought in and this technology was brought in as a preventative measure ... to stop people getting behind the wheel and taking risks that jeopardise the safety of others," NRMA head of media told Yahoo News. "The road toll is terrible nationally in Australia ... So we need to do everything we can to reduce risks on our roads." In NSW authorities are expanding the capabilities of their roadside mobile-detection cameras. From July 1 the cameras will be able to catch drivers wearing their seatbelt incorrectly. This comes after Queensland reportedly became the first jurisdiction in the world to roll out seatbelt-spotting detection along with mobile-detection. Last year, Victoria also rolled out dual mobile phone and seatbelt detection cameras last year after a two year trial. No grace period will be granted when they issue the seatbelt fines. "The expansion of mobile phone detection cameras to also apply to seatbelt offences reinforces the NSW Government’s commitment to enforcing the 50-year-old seatbelt law, actively contributing to improving road safety and reducing fatalities on NSW roads," a statement read on their official website. The department told Yahoo that all images captured by roadside cameras are automatically reviewed by software. Those that do not contain evidence of an offence will have their images deleted within an hour. Drivers in the ACT will need to make sure they have proper insurance and registration. From August, the roadside cameras alongside speed cameras and red light cameras will be used to send hefty fines to those driving without proper registration or insurance. Those caught by the cameras will have their paperwork manually checked by transport staff. An infringement for driving an unregistered vehicle in the ACT is $700 while the fine for driving an uninsured car is $973. The mobile detection cameras could also soon be programmed to detect speeding in the ACT. In South Australia, authorities began testing overhead mobile detection cameras at four busy locations in April, fines are currently not being issued, but the grace period is due to finish on June 19. Drivers caught using their phones in Adelaide will be fined $540 and three demerit points. Image: Stepan Skorobogadko / Shutterstock.com

Travel Trouble

Teen slapped with massive fine over "unsafe manoeuvre"

A Sydney P-plater has copped a massive fine of $3,568 after he overtook another car unsafely on Campbell Hill Rd at Guildford, west of the CBD, about 8.45pm last Friday. The 18-year-old was fined for crossing a double white line, travelling more than 45kph over the speed limit, and “overtaking when unsafe”, police said. The road itself had a speed limit of 50 kph but the boy was travelling at 115 kph, according to police. Police have suspended the teen's provisional licence for six months and confiscated his plates for three months, but many were unhappy with the penalty. “The court should impose 12-month suspensions. We probably all did some dumb things when on P-plates and after obtaining a full licence, but this is bordering on criminal,” one person wrote online. “Until consequences are increased, these people will not decrease unsafe behaviour,” another wrote. The road where the teen was caught speeding has been known for various other incidences of speeding and dangerous driving. “Cumberland Highway Patrol officers will continue to actively target Campbell Hill Rd for speeding and dangerous driving offences given a recent spate of high-speed detections on this section of road,” police said. Images: 7News

Legal

Little-known road rule that could cost you hundreds

An urgent warning has been issued for Aussie motorists over a little-known road rule that could cost you a $704 fine. While many are aware of the hefty fine that comes with driving an unregistered vehicle, not a lot of people know that in New South Wales it is illegal to park an unregistered car on a road or a road related area for more than 15 days after the vehicle's registration has expired. If you get caught, you could be fined $704 and up to 20 penalty units. Penalties vary between jurisdictions, but motorists can be fined almost as heavily as driving an unregistered car. Another little-known road rule that could land you in big trouble is waving out a car window. According to Budget Direct, both the passenger and driver could face a fine of $337 and a loss of three demerit points if they are caught doing the simple act. "Even winding down the window and stretching your arm outside to cool down could also get you in trouble," Budget Direct said. "According to all state and territories' driving regulations, it is illegal for any part of your body to be outside a moving vehicle at any time." Image: Shutterstock

Legal

Motorist fined $387 for "handling wallet" while driving

A motorist has collapsed after receiving a fine for $387, in which the fine claims he was holding his phone while driving. Sydney man Husni Tarmizi opened the infringement notice with his 62-year-old dad on Tuesday and admitted he was both "surprised" and "panicked" by the fine, leaving Husni to pick his father up off the floor after he collapsed from shock. Husni was confused by the fine, which also cost his dad 10 demerit points, as his father is rarely on his phone, and decided to take a closer look at the image captured by the mobile detection camera. "I went to the computer and downloaded the image and I could see clearly that it's a wallet [in his hand], you can see his phone is in the cradle," he told <a href="https://au.news.yahoo.com/driver-fined-387-and-cops-10-demerit-points-for-handling-wallet-while-driving-073557336.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Yahoo News</a>. "In his left hand you can see the wallet and his right hand he's holding a $50 bill." Husni continued, "He was quite panicked, especially with the 10 demerit points... and I was scared a bit because he has a heart condition." The 62-year-old man said he recalls holding onto his wallet and the $50 note to pay for petrol over the Easter long weekend, which explains the hefty loss of demerit points. Tarmizi confirmed he has already appealed the infringement and is awaiting a response after people urged him to dispute it. "I've also written an appeal, it's called a review request, we'll see how that goes," he said. "For the older generation where they don't understand the technologies and stuff, it's scary." Image credits: Husni Tarmizi

Legal

AFP commander resigns after drink driving accident

Former Australian Federal Police commander Danielle Anne Woodward has resigned after she drunkenly crashed her car into a tree following a police function in Canberra. The Olympic medalist pleaded guilty to a drink driving charge in the ACT Magistrates Court after blowing nearly three times the legal limit in November 2023. Woodward had attended an end-of-year function on the night of the accident, and intended to walk home or catch an Uber, but felt unwell after drinking champagne, so she decided to take the short drive back home. However, she crashed into a tree on her way home causing “extensive front-end damage” to her Mercedes-Benz. After getting help from members of the public, she immediately reported the incident to her supervisor and told him she had alcohol in her system. She also reportedly co-operated with lower-ranking officials who attended the scene, with the defence saying that she was "frank in her submission". "She was certainly not belligerent," Woodward's lawyer Michael Kukulies-Smith told the court. She was then arrested and taken to the police station for a breath analysis, which came back with a reading of 0.148. A police statement of facts also said that officers found Woodward with a flushed face and sleepy, watery eyes. “Police could smell a strong odour of intoxicating liquor emanating from [Woodward] and formed the opinion that [she] was well under the influence,” the statement of facts read. The court also heard that Woodward had been experiencing a "high level" of stress from her job, so had "at times resorted to alcohol, in a way she has been able to control." "The offending conduct is not only out of character … [but] her actions are usually the complete opposite. They're usually designed to benefit and protect the community," prosecutor Samuel Carmichael said. Woodward's lawyer asked Chief Magistrate Lorraine Walker to record a non-conviction, as this was a "one off" offence, and the media coverage of the accident had already caused her "an unusual degree of reputational damage", which has impacted her mental health and career. While Magistrate Walker agreed to a non-conviction, she said that a general deterrence still needed to be served, with Woodward disqualified from driving for six months, taking into account a 90-day immediate suspension notice that was issued after the crash. The Chief Magistrate told the court: "What ultimately influences me … is Ms Woodward is a woman suffering from ill health. "It is often people of good standing in this community … who find themselves before the court for this type of offence." She also said that Woodward had shown “obvious and palpable” remorse, and was not someone who would ordinarily demonstrate “this level of stupidity”. Woodward was a highly decorated police officer who worked for the AFP for almost four decades. She became a commander in 2022 and received a Medal of the Order of Australia (OAM) in 2002. In 2020 she was awarded the Australian Police Medal in the Australia Day honours. Prior to her role in the AFP, she was a a triple Olympian in slalom canoeing and won a silver medal at the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. Image: ABC News

Legal

Dreading footy season? You’re not alone – 20% of Australians are self-described sport haters

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hunter-fujak-290599">Hunter Fujak</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heath-mcdonald-92440">Heath McDonald</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> With the winter AFL and NRL seasons about to start, Australia’s sporting calendar is once again transitioning from its quietest to busiest period. For many, the return of the AFL and NRL competitions is highly anticipated. But there is one group whose experience is very different: the approximately 20% of Australians who hate sport. We are currently conducting research to better understand why people feel this way about sport and what their experiences are like living in a nation where sport is so <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1329878x15616515">culturally central</a>. We have completed surveys with thousands of Australians and are now beginning to interview those who have described themselves as “sport haters”. <h2>Australia, a ‘sports mad’ nation</h2> Australia has long been described as a “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14660970902955588">sports mad nation</a>”, a reasonable assertion given the Melbourne Cup attracted crowds of <a href="https://catalogue.nla.gov.au/catalog/2178266">more than 100,000 people</a> as far back as the 1880s. Australia’s sport passion is perhaps most evident today from the number of professional teams we support for a nation of 26 million people, one of the highest per capita <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Heath-Mcdonald/publication/326140082_Are_Sport_Consumers_Unique_Consumer_Behavior_Within_Crowded_Sport_Markets/links/5e9465fd92851c2f529c4322/Are-Sport-Consumers-Unique-Consumer-Behavior-Within-Crowded-Sport-Markets.pdf">concentrations</a> in the world. In addition to our four distinct football codes – Australian rules football, rugby league, rugby union and soccer – we have professional netball, basketball, cricket and tennis. In all, there are more than <a href="https://www.clearinghouseforsport.gov.au/kb/structure-of-australian-sport">130 professional sport teams in Australia</a> today (across both genders). Australia also hosts – and Australians attend – major sport events at a rate wildly disproportionate to the size of our population and economy. <a href="https://www.blackbookmotorsport.com/news/f1-australian-grand-prix-record-crowd-melbourne-albert-park/">Formula One</a>, the <a href="https://ausopen.com/articles/news/record-breaking-australian-open-ao-2024-numbers">Australian Open</a>, the <a href="https://nbl.com.au/news/nbl-sets-new-season-attendance-record">National Basketball League</a>, the <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/sport/nrl/nrl-attendance-records-tumble-as-fans-flock-back-to-footy-20230902-p5e1ib.html">National Rugby League</a> and <a href="https://mumbrella.com.au/64-of-aussie-population-watched-matildas-new-deakin-research-claims-797902">Matildas</a> have all recently broken attendance or television viewership records. <h2>Why people hate sport</h2> The ubiquity of sport in our culture, however, conceals the fact that a significant portion of people strongly and actively dislike sport. Recent <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/14413523.2023.2233342">research</a> by one of the co-authors here (Heath McDonald) has begun to shine light on this cohort, dubbed “sport haters”. Sport haters account for approximately 20% of the Australian population, according to two surveys we have conducted of nearly 3,500 and more than 27,000 adults. Demographically, this group is significantly more likely to be female, younger and more affluent than other Australians. Their strong negative sentiments are reflected in the most common word associations <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/14413523.2023.2233342">study participants</a> used to describe sport. In the case of AFL, these were: “boring”, “overpaid”, “stupid/dumb”, “rough”, “scandal” and “alcohol”. While the reasons for disliking sport vary from person to person, research shows there are some common themes. The first is in childhood, where negative experiences participating in sport or attending games or matches can lead to a life-long dislike of all sport. As one professed sport hater said in an <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1zxfyt/guys_who_do_not_like_sports_can_you_explain_why/">online forum devoted to men who don’t like sport</a>: "My brother would force me to play soccer against my will all the time as children. I think that is where my resentment for physical sport comes from because the choice was taken away from me by my twat of a brother." Sport hatred can also derive from social exclusion or marginalisation. Sport has historically been a male-centric domain that <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0277539587900525">celebrates</a> masculinity and can lead to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-20/taylor-swift-effect-sports-fandom-nfl/103486274">toxic behaviour</a>, which can exclude many women and some men. Sport has also had to overcome racism, perhaps most symbolically visible by AFL player Nicky Winmar’s <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-04-17/nicky-winmar-indigenous-afl-racism-anniversary/102222960">iconic protest</a> in 1993. In addition, individuals with a disability still face <a href="https://www.sportaus.gov.au/integrity_in_sport/inclusive-sport/understanding-our-diverse-audiences/people-with-disability#:%7E:text=People%20with%20disability%20receive%20the,than%20adults%20who%20don't.">barriers</a> that result in lower rates of sport participation. Here, the current <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-20/taylor-swift-effect-sports-fandom-nfl/103486274">Taylor Swift effect</a> is noteworthy. The singer’s attendance at National Football League games, including the Superbowl, resulted in huge spikes in television viewership. Through her association, Swift helped make the sport more <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S096969892300317X#bib122">psychologically accessible</a> for many women and girls. The <a href="https://books.google.com.au/books?hl=en&lr=&id=AvjrDwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PT125&dq=Contesting+national+Culture&ots=1_lQuBpKK7&sig=dMb-5s0PgpUumUTSFeEKZiNq0dg#v=onepage&q=Contesting%20national%20Culture&f=false">cultural dominance</a> of sport also fuels its detractors, with many critical of sport’s media saturation and its broader social and even political prioritisation. (The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-02-16/macquarie-point-stadium-dominates-election-campaign-day-one/103473124">debate in Tasmania</a> over the controversial AFL stadium proposal is a good case in point.) From a media perspective, Australia’s particularly strict <a href="https://theconversation.com/regardless-of-the-rules-sport-is-fleeing-free-tv-for-pay-and-it-might-be-an-avalanche-154640">anti-siphoning</a> laws have ensured that sport remains front and centre on free-to-air television programming. Sport’s cultural dominance also fosters resentment for overshadowing people’s non-sporting passions and pursuits, as well as creating societal out-groups. Journalist Jo Chandler’s <a href="https://libraryedition.smedia.com.au/lib_a/Default.aspx#panel=document">2010</a> description of moving to Melbourne is no doubt shared by many: "In the workplace, to be unaligned is deeply isolating. Team tribalism infects meetings, especially when overseen by male chiefs. In shameful desperation, I’ve played along." In life, it’s fairly easy to avoid most products you might dislike. But given sport’s ubiquity, simply tuning out is sometimes not an option. <h2>The Anti-Football League, a club for haters</h2> In 1967, two Melbourne journalists, Keith Dunstan and Douglas Wilkie, launched an anti-sport club in response to this growing cultural dominance. In his founding address to the <a href="https://www.academia.edu/7584522/Football_is_a_Fever_Disease_Like_Recurrent_Malaria_and_Evidently_Incurable_Passion_Place_and_the_Emergence_of_an_Australian_Anti_Football_League">Anti-Football League</a>, Wilkie made clear who the club was for: "All of us who are tired of having football personalities, predictions and post mortems cluttering our newspapers, TV screens and attempts at alternative human converse – from beginning-of-morning prayers to the last trickle of bed time bathwater – should join at once." Membership quickly reached the thousands. Soon, a Sydney branch was launched, bringing national membership to a high of around 7,000. According to sport historian Matthew Klugman, members found joy in being “haters”. "…they wanted to find a shared meaning in their suffering, not to extinguish it, but to better enjoy it." This led to some curious rituals, with members ceremonially cremating footballs or burying them. An Anti-Football Day was also launched, taking place on the eve of the Victorian Football League Grand Final. The club would go on to experience periods of both prosperity and hiatus over the years, but has been dormant since <a href="https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/vale-keith-dunstan-gentle-footy-hater-cyclist-and-master-of-words-20130911-2tklh.html">Dunstan’s death</a> in 2013. With eight more years to go in Australia’s so-called “<a href="https://this.deakin.edu.au/career/golden-decade-of-sport-ahead-for-australia">golden decade of sport</a>”, which began with <a href="https://www.fiba.basketball/womensbasketballworldcup/2022">2022 Women’s Basketball World Cup in Sydney</a> and culminates with the 2032 Brisbane Olympics, it may be time sport haters to start a new support group. If you consider yourself a sport hater, and are interested in contributing your experience to our ongoing research, please provide your contact information <a href="https://researchsurveys.deakin.edu.au/jfe/form/SV_a4CqHyqipjYj5SC">here</a>.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223733/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hunter-fujak-290599">Hunter Fujak</a>, Senior Lecturer in Sport Management, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heath-mcdonald-92440">Heath McDonald</a>, Dean of Economics, Finance and Marketing and Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dreading-footy-season-youre-not-alone-20-of-australians-are-self-described-sport-haters-223733">original article</a>.

How to be kind to yourself (without going to a day spa)

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583">Lydia Brown</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> “I have to be hard on myself,” Sarah told me in a recent telehealth psychology session. “I would never reach my potential if I was kind and let myself off the hook.” I could empathise with this fear of self-compassion from clients such as Sarah (not her real name). From a young age, we are taught to be kind to others, but self-kindness is never mentioned. Instead, we are taught success hinges on self-sacrifice. And we need a healthy inner critic to bully us forward into becoming increasingly better versions of ourselves. But <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">research shows</a> there doesn’t have to be a trade-off between self-compassion and success. Self-compassion can help you reach your potential, while supporting you to face the inevitable stumbles and setbacks along the way. <h2>What is self-compassion?</h2> <a href="https://self-compassion.org/">Self-compassion</a> has <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298860309027">three</a> key ingredients. 1. Self-kindness This involves treating yourself with the same kindness you would extend towards a good friend – via your thoughts, feelings and actions – especially during life’s difficult moments. For instance, if you find yourself fixating on a minor mistake you made at work, self-kindness might involve taking a ten-minute walk to shift focus, and reminding yourself it is OK to make mistakes sometimes, before moving on with your day. 2. Mindfulness In this context, mindfulness involves being aware of your own experience of stress or suffering, rather than repressing or avoiding your feelings, or over-identifying with them. Basically, you must see your stress with a clear (mindful) perspective before you can respond with kindness. If we avoid or are consumed by our suffering, we lose perspective. 3. Common humanity Common humanity involves recognising our own experience of suffering as something that unites us as being human. For instance, a sleep-deprived parent waking up (for the fourth time) to feed their newborn might choose to think about all the other parents around the world doing exactly the same thing – as opposed to feeling isolated and alone. <h2>It’s not about day spas, or booking a manicure</h2> When Sarah voiced her fear that self-compassion would prevent her success, I explained self-compassion is distinct from self-indulgence. “So is self-compassion just about booking in more mani/pedis?” Sarah asked. Not really, I explained. A one-off trip to a day spa is unlikely to transform your mental health. Instead, self-compassion is a flexible <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">psychological resilience factor</a> that shapes our thoughts, feelings and actions. It’s associated with a suite of benefits to our <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">wellbeing</a>, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2011.639548">relationships</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17437199.2019.1705872">health</a>. <h2>What does the science say?</h2> Over the past 20 years, we’ve learned self-compassionate people enjoy a wide range of benefits. They tend to be <a href="https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/aphw.12051">happier</a> and have <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.06.003">fewer psychological symptoms</a> of distress. Those high on self-compassion <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167212445599">persevere</a> following a failure. They say they are more motivated to overcome a personal weakness than those low on self-compassion, who are more likely to give up. So rather than feeling trapped by your inadequacies, self-compassion encourages a <a href="https://hbr.org/2018/09/give-yourself-a-break-the-power-of-self-compassion">growth mindset</a>, helping you reach your potential. However, self-compassion is not a panacea. It will not change your life circumstances or somehow make life “easy”. It is based on the premise that life is hard, and provides practical tools to cope. <h2>It’s a factor in healthy ageing</h2> I research menopause and healthy ageing and am especially interested in the value of self-compassion through menopause and in the second half of life. Because self-compassion becomes important during life’s challenges, it can help people navigate physical symptoms (for instance, <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378512214001649?via%3Dihub">menopausal hot flushes</a>), life transitions such as <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797611429466">divorce</a>, and <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-031-22348-8_7">promote healthy ageing</a>. I’ve also teamed up with researchers at <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/">Autism Spectrum Australia</a> to explore self-compassion in autistic adults. We found autistic adults report significantly <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05668-y">lower levels</a> of self-compassion than neurotypical adults. So we developed an online <a href="https://www.autismspectrum.org.au/blog/new-online-self-compassion-program-for-autistic-adults">self-compassion training program</a> for this at-risk population. <h2>Three tips for self-compassion</h2> You <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jclp.21923">can learn</a> self-compassion with these three exercises. 1. What would you say to a friend? Think back to the last time you made a mistake. What did you say to yourself? If you notice you’re treating yourself more like an enemy than a friend, don’t beat yourself up about it. Instead, try to think about what you might tell a friend, and direct that same friendly language towards yourself. 2. Harness the power of touch Soothing human touch <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.555058/full">activates</a> the parasympathetic “relaxation” branch of our nervous system and counteracts the fight or flight response. Specifically, self-soothing touch (for instance, by placing both hands on your heart, stroking your forearm or giving yourself a hug) <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666497621000655">reduces</a> cortisol responses to psychosocial stress. 3. What do I need right now? Sometimes, it can be hard to figure out exactly what self-compassion looks like in a given moment. The question “what do I need right now” helps clarify your true needs. For example, when I was 37 weeks pregnant, I woke up bolt awake one morning at 3am. Rather than beating myself up about it, or fretting about not getting enough sleep, I gently placed my hands on my heart and took a few deep breaths. By asking myself “what do I need right now?” it became clear that listening to a gentle podcast/meditation fitted the bill (even though I wanted to addictively scroll my phone).<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lydia-brown-179583">Lydia Brown</a>, Senior Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-to-be-kind-to-yourself-without-going-to-a-day-spa-223194">original article</a>.

Caring

Mothers’ dieting habits and self-talk have profound impact on daughters − 2 psychologists explain how to cultivate healthy behaviors and body image

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Weight loss is one of the most common health and appearance-related goals. Women and <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db340.htm">teen girls</a> are <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db313.htm">especially likely to pursue dieting</a> to achieve weight loss goals even though a great deal of research shows that <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-thin-people-dont-understand-about-dieting-86604">dieting doesn’t work over the long term</a>. We are a <a href="https://www.duck-lab.com/people">developmental psychologist</a> and a <a href="https://psy.uncg.edu/directory/ashleigh-gallagher/">social psychologist</a> who together wrote a forthcoming book, “Beyond Body Positive: A Mother’s Evidence-Based Guide for Helping Girls Build a Healthy Body Image.” In the book, we address topics such as the effects of maternal dieting behaviors on daughters’ health and well-being. We provide information on how to build a foundation for healthy body image beginning in girlhood. <h2>Culturally defined body ideals</h2> Given the strong influence of social media and other cultural influences on body ideals, it’s understandable that so many people pursue diets aimed at weight loss. <a href="https://communityhealth.mayoclinic.org/featured-stories/tiktok-diets">TikTok</a>, YouTube, Instagram and celebrity websites feature slim influencers and “how-tos” for achieving those same results in no time. For example, women and teens are engaging in rigid and extreme forms of exercise such as 54D, a program to <a href="https://54d.com/">achieve body transformation in 54 days</a>, or the <a href="https://health.clevelandclinic.org/75-hard-challenge-and-rules">75 Hard Challenge</a>, which is to follow five strict rules for 75 days. For teens, these pursuits are likely fueled by trendy body preoccupations such as the desire for “<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/06/well/move/tiktok-legging-legs-eating-disorders.html">legging legs</a>.” Women and teens have also been been inundated with recent messaging around <a href="https://theconversation.com/drugs-that-melt-away-pounds-still-present-more-questions-than-answers-but-ozempic-wegovy-and-mounjaro-could-be-key-tools-in-reducing-the-obesity-epidemic-205549">quick-fix weight loss drugs</a>, which come with a lot of caveats. Dieting and weight loss goals are highly individual, and when people are intensely self-focused, it is <a href="https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2000.19.1.70">possible to lose sight of the bigger picture</a>. Although women might wonder what the harm is in trying the latest diet, science shows that dieting behavior doesn’t just affect the dieter. In particular, for women who are mothers or who have other girls in their lives, these behaviors affect girls’ emerging body image and their health and well-being. <h2>The profound effect of maternal role models</h2> Research shows that mothers and maternal figures <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2017.11.001">have a profound influence on their daughters’ body image</a>. The opportunity to influence girls’ body image comes far earlier than adolescence. In fact, research shows that these influences on body image <a href="https://www.teenvogue.com/story/how-toxic-diet-culture-is-passed-from-moms-to-daughters">begin very early in life</a> – <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.acdb.2016.10.006">during the preschool years</a>. Mothers may feel that they are being discreet about their dieting behavior, but little girls are watching and listening, and they are far more observant of us than many might think. For example, one study revealed that compared with daughters of nondieting women, 5-year-old girls whose mothers dieted <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/S0002-8223(00)00339-4">were aware of the connection between dieting and thinness</a>. Mothers’ eating behavior does not just affect girls’ ideas about dieting, but also their daughters’ eating behavior. The amount of food that mothers eat <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">predicts how much their daughters will eat</a>. In addition, daughters whose mothers are dieters are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.018">more likely to become dieters themselves</a> and are also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eatbeh.2007.03.001">more likely to have a negative body image</a>. Negative body image is <a href="https://theconversation.com/mounting-research-documents-the-harmful-effects-of-social-media-use-on-mental-health-including-body-image-and-development-of-eating-disorders-206170">not a trivial matter</a>. It affects girls’ and women’s mental and physical well-being in a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105317710815">host of ways</a> and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2011.06.009">can predict the emergence of eating disorders</a>. <h2>Avoiding ‘fat talk’</h2> What can moms do, then, to serve their daughters’ and their own health? They can focus on small steps. And although it is best to begin these efforts early in life – in girlhood – it is never too late to do so. For example, mothers can consider how they think about and talk about themselves around their daughters. Engaging in “fat talk” may inadvertently send their daughters the message that larger bodies are bad, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.07.004">contributing to weight bias</a> and negative self-image. Mothers’ fat talk also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/15267431.2021.1908294">predicts later body dissatisfaction in daughters</a>. And negative self-talk isn’t good for mothers, either; it is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105318781943">lower motivation and unhealthful eating</a>. Mothers can instead practice and model self-compassion, which involves treating oneself the way <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2016.03.003">a loving friend might treat you</a>. In discussions about food and eating behavior, it is important to avoid moralizing certain kinds of food by labeling them as “good” or “bad,” as girls may extend these labels to their personal worth. For example, a young girl may feel that she is being “bad” if she eats dessert, if that is what she has learned from observing the women around her. In contrast, she may feel that she has to eat a salad to be “good.” Moms and other female role models can make sure that the dinner plate sends a healthy message to their daughters by showing instead that all foods can fit into a balanced diet when the time is right. Intuitive eating, which emphasizes paying attention to hunger and satiety and allows flexibility in eating behavior, is associated with <a href="https://doi.org/10.1007/s40519-020-00852-4">better physical and mental health in adolescence</a>. Another way that women and especially moms can buffer girls’ body image is by helping their daughters <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2021.12.009">to develop media literacy</a> and to think critically about the nature and purpose of media. For example, moms can discuss the misrepresentation and distortion of bodies, such as the use of filters to enhance physical appearance, on social media. <h2>Focusing on healthful behaviors</h2> One way to begin to focus on health behaviors rather than dieting behaviors is to develop respect for the body and to <a href="https://theconversation.com/body-neutrality-what-it-is-and-how-it-can-help-lead-to-more-positive-body-image-191799">consider body neutrality</a>. In other words, prize body function rather than appearance and spend less time thinking about your body’s appearance. Accept that there are times when you may not feel great about your body, and that this is OK. To feel and look their best, mothers can aim to stick to a <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-the-best-diet-for-healthy-sleep-a-nutritional-epidemiologist-explains-what-food-choices-will-help-you-get-more-restful-zs-219955">healthy sleep schedule</a>, manage their stress levels, <a href="https://theconversation.com/fiber-is-your-bodys-natural-guide-to-weight-management-rather-than-cutting-carbs-out-of-your-diet-eat-them-in-their-original-fiber-packaging-instead-205159">eat a varied diet</a> that includes all of the foods that they enjoy, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-runners-high-may-result-from-molecules-called-cannabinoids-the-bodys-own-version-of-thc-and-cbd-170796">move and exercise their bodies regularly</a> as lifelong practices, rather than engaging in quick-fix trends. Although many of these tips sound familiar, and perhaps even simple, they become effective when we recognize their importance and begin acting on them. Mothers can work toward modeling these behaviors and tailor each of them to their daughter’s developmental level. It’s never too early to start. <h2>Promoting healthy body image</h2> Science shows that several personal characteristics are associated with body image concerns among women. For example, research shows that women who are <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2020.02.001">higher in neuroticism</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/2050-2974-1-2">and perfectionism</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.983534">lower in self-compassion</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bodyim.2013.08.001">lower in self-efficacy</a> are all more likely to struggle with negative body image. Personality is frequently defined as a person’s characteristic pattern of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. But if they wish, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/per.1945">mothers can change personality characteristics</a> that they feel aren’t serving them well. For example, perfectionist tendencies – such as setting unrealistic, inflexible goals – can be examined, challenged and replaced with more rational thoughts and behaviors. A woman who believes she must work out every day can practice being more flexible in her thinking. One who thinks of dessert as “cheating” can practice resisting moral judgments about food. Changing habitual ways of thinking, feeling and behaving certainly takes effort and time, but it is far more likely than diet trends to bring about sustainable, long-term change. And taking the first steps to modify even a few of these habits can positively affect daughters. In spite of all the noise from media and other cultural influences, mothers can feel empowered knowing that they have a significant influence on their daughters’ feelings about, and treatment of, their bodies. In this way, mothers’ modeling of healthier attitudes and behaviors is a sound investment – for both their own body image and that of the girls they love.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221968/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/janet-j-boseovski-451496">Janet J. Boseovski</a>, Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ashleigh-gallagher-1505989">Ashleigh Gallagher</a>, Senior Lecturer, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-north-carolina-greensboro-2069">University of North Carolina – Greensboro</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/mothers-dieting-habits-and-self-talk-have-profound-impact-on-daughters-2-psychologists-explain-how-to-cultivate-healthy-behaviors-and-body-image-221968">original article</a>.

Mind

‘Self-love’ might seem selfish. But done right, it’s the opposite of narcissism

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a> “To love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing red-hot iron” <a href="https://archive.org/details/jungsseminaronni0000jung">said psychonalyst Carl Jung</a>. Some may argue this social media generation does not seem to struggle with loving themselves. But is the look-at-me-ism so easily found on TikTok and Instagram the kind of self-love we need in order to flourish? The language of <a href="https://theconversation.com/teaching-positive-psychology-skills-at-school-may-be-one-way-to-help-student-mental-health-and-happiness-217173">positive psychology</a> can be – and often is – appropriated for all kinds of self-importance, as well as cynical marketing strategies. Loving yourself, though, psychological experts stress, is not the same as behaving selfishly. There’s a firm line between healthy and appropriate forms of loving yourself, and malignant or <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-types-of-narcissist-are-there-a-psychology-expert-sets-the-record-straight-207610">narcissistic</a> forms. But how do we distinguish between them? In 2023, researchers Eva Henschke and Peter Sedlmeier conducted <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/355152846_What_is_self-love_Redefinition_of_a_controversial_construct">a series of interviews</a> with psychotherapists and other experts on what self-love is. They’ve concluded it has three main features: self-care, self-acceptance and self-contact (devoting attention to yourself). But as an increasingly individualistic society, are we already devoting too much attention to ourselves? <h2>Philosophy and self-love</h2> Philosophers and psychology experts alike have considered the ethics of self-love. Psychology researcher Li Ming Xue and her colleagues, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.585719/full">exploring the notion of self-love in Chinese culture</a>, claim “Western philosophers believe that self-love is a virtue”. But this is a very broad generalisation. In the Christian tradition and in much European philosophy, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10848770.2020.1839209">says philosopher Razvan Ioan</a>, self-love is condemned as a profoundly damaging trait. On the other hand, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2107991">many of the great Christian philosophers</a>, attempting to make sense of the instruction to love one’s neighbour as oneself, admitted certain forms of self-love were virtuous. In order to love your neighbour as yourself, you must, it would seem, love yourself. In the Western philosophical context, claim Xue and her colleagues, self-love is concerned with individual rights – “society as a whole only serves to promote an individual’s happiness”. This individualistic, self-concerned notion of self-love, they suggest, might come from the Ancient Greek philosophers. In particular, Aristotle. But <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/philosophy-stirred-not-shaken/201502/love-yourself-love-your-character">Aristotle thought only the most virtuous</a>, who benefited the society around them, should love themselves. By making this connection, he avoided equating self-love with self-centredness. We should love ourselves not out of vanity, he argued, but in virtue of our capacity for good. Does Aristotle, then, provide principled grounds for distinguishing between proper and improper forms of self-love? <h2>Bar too high?</h2> Aristotle might set the bar too high. If only the most virtuous should try to love themselves, this collides head-on with the idea loving yourself can help us improve and become more virtuous – as <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1057/9781137383310_6">philosophers Kate Abramson and Adam Leite have argued</a>. Many psychologists claim self-love is important for adopting the kind and compassionate self-perception crucial for overcoming conditions that weaponise self-criticism, like <a href="https://theconversation.com/clinical-perfectionism-when-striving-for-excellence-gets-you-down-43704">clinical perfectionism</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-people-have-eating-disorders-we-dont-really-know-and-thats-a-worry-121938">eating disorders</a>. More broadly, some argue compassion for oneself is necessary to support honest insights into your own behaviour. They believe we need warm and compassionate self-reflection to avoid the defensiveness that comes with the fear of judgement – even if we’re standing as our own judge. For this reason, a compassionate form of self-love is often necessary to follow Socrates’ advice to “know thyself”, says <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">philosopher Jan Bransen</a>. Positive self-love, by these lights, can help us grow as people. <h2>Self-love ‘misguided and silly’</h2> But not everyone agrees you need self-love to grow. The late philosopher <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/news/2005/nov/29/guardianobituaries.obituaries">Oswald Hanfling</a> was deeply sceptical of this idea. In fact, he argued the notion of loving oneself was misguided and silly. His ideas are mostly rejected by philosophers of love, but pointing out where they go wrong can be useful. When you love someone, he said, you’re prepared to sacrifice your own interests for those of your beloved. But he thought the idea of sacrificing your own interests made no sense – which shows, he concluded, we can’t love ourselves. <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3751159">He wrote</a>: "I may sacrifice an immediate satisfaction for the sake of my welfare in the future, as in the case of giving up smoking. In this case, however, my motive is not love but self-interest. What I reveal in giving up smoking is not the extent of my love for myself, but an understanding that the long-term benefits of giving it up are likely to exceed the present satisfaction of going on with it." We often have conflicting interests (think of someone who is agonising over two different career paths) – and it’s not at all strange to sacrifice certain interests for the sake of others. This is not just a question of sacrificing short-term desires in favour of a long-term good, but a matter of sacrificing something of value for your ultimate benefit (or, so you hope). <h2>Self-compassion</h2> Hanfling fails to consider the role of compassionate self-love. While we might understand it’s in our interests to do something (for instance, repair bridges with someone we’ve fallen out with), it might take a compassionate and open disposition towards ourselves to recognise what’s in our best interests. We might need this self-compassion, too, in order to admit our failures – so we can overcome our defensiveness and see clearly how we’re failing to fulfil <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">these interests</a>. Self-acceptance in this context does not mean giving ourselves licence to run roughshod over the interests of those around us, nor to justify our flaws as “valid” rather than work on them. Self-love, as promoted by contemporary psychologists, means standing in a compassionate relationship to ourselves. And there’s nothing contradictory about this idea. Just as we strive to develop a supportive, kind relationship to the people we care about – and just as this doesn’t involve uncritical approval of everything they do – compassionate self-love doesn’t mean abandoning valid self-criticism. In fact, self-compassion has the opposite effect. It promotes comfort with the kind of critical self-assessment that helps us grow – which leads to resilience. It breeds the opposite of narcissistic self-absorption.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205938/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, PhD Candidate (Teaching roles at Macquarie & Wollongong), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/self-love-might-seem-selfish-but-done-right-its-the-opposite-of-narcissism-205938">original article</a>.

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