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Having the ‘right’ friends may hold the secret to building wealth, according to new study on socioeconomic ties

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/brad-cannon-2216202">Brad Cannon</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/binghamton-university-state-university-of-new-york-2252">Binghamton University, State University of New York</a> Having wealthy people in your social network significantly boosts the likelihood that you’ll participate in stock markets and savings plans, according to a new working paper I co-authored. My colleagues and I <a href="https://www.nber.org/system/files/working_papers/w32186/w32186.pdf">recently conducted research</a> on social finance to understand the ways in which social networks affect stock market participation and savings behavior. This is important because a substantial fraction of households in the U.S., particularly <a href="https://www.axios.com/2023/10/18/percentage-americans-own-stock-market-investing">lower-income families, do not own stocks</a>. Given that the total return to the U.S. stock market from 1980 through September 2024 has been over 12,000% – for example, US$1,000 <a href="https://ofdollarsanddata.com/sp500-calculator/">invested in the S&P 500</a> in 1980 would be worth $121,350 today – this creates a disparity in wealth for those who participate relative to those who do not. Understanding why some people invest and others don’t is important for addressing social concerns such as rising inequality. In our study, we looked at <a href="https://academic.oup.com/ej/advance-article/doi/10.1093/ej/ueae074/7720537">social capital</a>, which is a measure of the value that comes from being in a group or having dense social networks. Researchers have found that social capital can have positive impacts on individuals and communities, spurring innovation, <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-022-04996-4">economic prosperity</a> and better health outcomes. We used friendship data from Facebook to measure different aspects of social networks by county in the U.S. We combined this data with tax information from the Internal Revenue Service about investments and savings. We found that in counties where friendships with prosperous individuals are more common, investment and savings tend to be higher. Moreover, we found that having these friendships with wealthy individuals plays a more important role in shaping financial behaviors than two other aspects of social capital we looked at in our study: having a tight group of friends and living in a community with strong civic engagement. Of course, making wealthy friends alone does not guarantee you’ll invest or save more. But perhaps knowing people who invest makes it less daunting and fraught, particularly if those friends can serve as a resource and sounding board. “Friends with Benefits: Social Capital and Household Financial Behavior” was co-authored by <a href="https://www.marshall.usc.edu/personnel/david-hirshleifer">David Hirshleifer</a> and <a href="https://hankamer.baylor.edu/person/joshua-thornton">Joshua Thornton</a>.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239370/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/brad-cannon-2216202">Brad Cannon</a>, Assistant Professor of Finance, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/binghamton-university-state-university-of-new-york-2252">Binghamton University, State University of New York</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/having-the-right-friends-may-hold-the-secret-to-building-wealth-according-to-new-study-on-socioeconomic-ties-239370">original article</a>. </div>

Money & Banking

Deborra-Lee Furness' friend makes bombshell claim

A friend of Hugh Jackman’s ex-wife, Deborra-Lee Furness, has claimed that rumours of the actor's affair with co-star Sutton Foster are true. British actress and photographer Amanda de Cadenet hinted that the rumours were true in the comments section of an Instagram video that alleged Hugh Jackman left his wife for Foster, after the two fell in love while starring together in The Music Man on Broadway. “You are on point with this one,” de Cadenet claimed in response. “My beloved friend Deb is about to have her glow up any moment FYI !” Page Six reportedly reached out to reps for Jackman, Foster and Furness for comment. Jackman and Furness announced their separation after 27 years of marriage in September 2023. They share two adopted children together. At the time, a source told the publication that the Wolverine actor was "devastated" by the split. In October, another source told Page Six that Foster and Jackman are "in love" but keeping their romance under wraps. Another source previously told news.co,.au they are “100 percent together and are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together.” Image: Instagram

Relationships

Your friend has been diagnosed with cancer. Here are 6 things you can do to support them

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/stephanie-cowdery-2217734">Stephanie Cowdery</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anna-ugalde-2232654">Anna Ugalde</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/trish-livingston-163686">Trish Livingston</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/victoria-white-1888110">Victoria White</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> Across the world, <a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/01-02-2024-global-cancer-burden-growing--amidst-mounting-need-for-services">one in five</a> people are diagnosed with cancer during their lifetime. By age 85, almost <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/cancer-information/what-is-cancer/facts-and-figures">one in two</a> Australians will be diagnosed with cancer. When it happens to someone you care about, it can be hard to know what to say or how to help them. But providing the right support to a friend can make all the difference as they face the emotional and physical challenges of a new diagnosis and treatment. Here are six ways to offer meaningful support to a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer. <h2>1. Recognise and respond to emotions</h2> When facing a cancer diagnosis and treatment, it’s normal to experience a range of <a href="https://www.canceraustralia.gov.au/impacted-by-cancer/emotions#:%7E:text=It's%20likely%20that%20feelings%20will,these%20feelings%20ease%20with%20time">emotions</a> including fear, anger, grief and sadness. Your friend’s moods may fluctuate. It is also common for feelings to <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00520-014-2492-9">change over time</a>, for example your friend’s anxiety may decrease, but they may feel more depressed. Some friends may want to share details while others will prefer privacy. Always ask permission to raise sensitive topics (such as changes in physical appearance or their thoughts regarding fears and anxiety) and don’t make assumptions. It’s OK to tell them you feel awkward, as this acknowledges the challenging situation they are facing. When they feel comfortable to talk, follow their lead. Your support and willingness <a href="https://www.cancervic.org.au/get-support/stories/what-to-say-and-not-say.html">to listen without judgement</a> can provide great comfort. You don’t have to have the answers. Simply acknowledging what has been said, providing your full attention and being present for them will be a great help. <h2>2. Understand their diagnosis and treatment</h2> <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/pon.4722">Understanding</a> your friend’s diagnosis and what they’ll go through when being <a href="https://www.cancer.org/cancer/caregivers/what-a-caregiver-does/treatment-timeline.html">treated</a> may be helpful. Being informed can reduce your own worry. It may also help you to listen better and reduce the amount of explaining your friend has to do, especially when they’re tired or overwhelmed. Explore reputable sources such as the <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/">Cancer Council website</a> for accurate information, so you can have meaningful conversations. But keep in mind your friend has a trusted medical team to offer personalised and accurate advice. <h2>3. Check in regularly</h2> Cancer treatment can be isolating, so regular check-ins, texts, calls or visits can help your friend feel less alone. Having a normal conversation and sharing a joke can be very welcome. But everyone copes with cancer differently. Be patient and flexible in your support – some days will be harder for them than others. Remembering key dates – such as the next round of chemotherapy – can help your friend feel supported. Celebrating milestones, including the end of treatment or anniversary dates, may boost morale and remind your friend of positive moments in their cancer journey. Always ask if it’s a good time to visit, as your friend’s immune system <a href="https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/what-is-cancer/body-systems-and-cancer/the-immune-system-and-cancer#:%7E:text=to%20fight%20cancer-,Cancer%20and%20treatments%20may%20weaken%20immunity,high%20dose%20of%20steroids">may be compromised</a> by their cancer or treatments such as chemotherapy or radiotherapy. If you’re feeling unwell, it’s best to postpone visits – but they may still appreciate a call or text. <h2>4. Offer practical support</h2> Sometimes the best way to show your care is through practical support. There may be different ways to offer help, and what your friend needs might change at the beginning, during and after treatment. For example, you could offer to pick up prescriptions, drive them to appointments so they have transport and company to debrief, or wait with them at appointments. Meals will always be welcome. However it’s important to remember cancer and its treatments may <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/treatment/side-effects/nutrition#effects-of-cancer-treatment-on-nutrition">affect</a> taste, smell and appetite, as well as your friend’s ability to eat enough or absorb nutrients. You may want to check first if there are particular foods they like. <a href="https://www.cancervic.org.au/downloads/resources/booklets/nutrition-cancer.pdf">Good nutrition</a> can help boost their strength while dealing with the side effects of treatment. There may also be family responsibilities you can help with, for example, babysitting kids, grocery shopping or taking care of pets. <h2>5. Explore supports together</h2> Studies <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35834503/">have shown</a> mindfulness practices can be an effective way for people to manage anxiety associated with a cancer diagnosis and its treatment. If this is something your friend is interested in, it may be enjoyable to explore classes (either online or in-person) together. You may also be able to help your friend connect with organisations that provide emotional and practical help, such as the Cancer Council’s <a href="https://www.cancer.org.au/support-and-services/cancer-council-13-11-20">support line</a>, which offers free, confidential information and support for anyone affected by cancer, including family, friends and carers. <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/5659099_Systematic_review_of_peer-support_programs_for_people_with_cancer">Peer support groups</a> can also reduce your friend’s feelings of isolation and foster shared understanding and empathy with people who’ve gone through a similar experience. GPs <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34333571/">can help</a> with referrals to support programs. <h2>6. Stick with them</h2> Be committed. Many people feel <a href="https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11120751/">isolated</a> after their treatment. This may be because regular appointments have reduced or stopped – which can feel like losing a safety net – or because their relationships with others have changed. Your friend may also experience emotions such as worry, lack of confidence and uncertainty as they adjust to a <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/coping/survivorship/new-normal">new way of living</a> after their treatment has ended. This will be an important time to support your friend. But don’t forget: looking after <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/caring-for-someone-with-cancer">yourself</a> is important too. Making sure you eat well, sleep, exercise and have emotional support will help steady you through what may be a challenging time for you, as well as the friend you love. <a href="https://www.deakin.edu.au/faculty-of-health/research/cancer-carer-hub">Our research</a> team is developing new programs and resources to support carers of people who live with cancer. While it can be a challenging experience, it can also be immensely rewarding, and your small acts of kindness can make a big difference.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239844/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/stephanie-cowdery-2217734">Stephanie Cowdery</a>, Research Fellow, Carer Hub: A Centre of Excellence in Cancer Carer Research, Translation and Impact, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anna-ugalde-2232654">Anna Ugalde</a>, Associate Professor & Victorian Cancer Agency Fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/trish-livingston-163686">Trish Livingston</a>, Distinguished Professor & Director of Special Projects, Faculty of Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/victoria-white-1888110">Victoria White</a>, Professor of Pyscho-Oncology, School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/your-friend-has-been-diagnosed-with-cancer-here-are-6-things-you-can-do-to-support-them-239844">original article</a>. </div>

Caring

Readers response: What celebrity do you think would make a great friend, and why?

When it comes to celebrities, everyone has their favourites, their crushes, and those they'd rather steer clear of. We asked our readers what celebrity they think they would be good friends with, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Judy Yannopoulos - Keanu Reeves. A true honest person with a good heart. Jenny Maclean - Steven Fry. He’s honest and kind and so very intelligent. Jeff-Lyn Bloom - Tom Hanks. He is so down to earth. Doesn’t put on airs. Jan Totti - John Farnham, because he’s down to earth and there’s no pretences. He seems just a lovely honest person. He’s an amazing Australian singer. Caz McDougall - Michael Sheen and David Tennant. Karen Maberly - Judi Dench. Seems like a good communicator, sharp mind and full of fun, and not full of herself!! Cheryl Cunningham - Denzel Washington. Totally honest and decent human. Rhonda Moffitt - Maggie Beer. She treasures family & others. Always smiling, Maggie I think would be great company. Lisa Drury Hudson - Audrey Hepburn, for her compassion, strength, fighting for children's rights and empathy. What a loss. Bob Wilkinson - Hugh Jackson and Chris Hemsworth as they both seem like down to earth nice people. Image credits: Shutterstock

Relationships

Longtime friend opens up on John Farnham's potential return to singing

John Farnham is back in the spotlight following the release of his brand new memoir, John Farnham: The Voice Inside. The memoir explores the legendary singer's extraordinary almost six-decade career, with an insight into the star's notoriously private family life. As he slowly and steadily recovers from mouth cancer, the beloved singer's voice has been heard for the first time as he narrates the <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/health/caring/john-farnham-s-voice-heard-for-the-first-time-since-throat-surgery" target="_blank" rel="noopener">audiobook</a> for his memoir. Now, long-time friend Gaynor Wheatley has shared an exciting update on whether the music icon would ever perform again. "As soon as I saw him in the studio doing the audiobook and as soon as he got behind the microphone, the twinkle was in the eye," she told Today. "That's when I thought, you know, we're still in with a shot and he can still sing, his voice box is still great, there's just a few more things to do with the mouth recovery, but we all know he's as strong as a boxer so if he wants to do something, he'll do it. "If I say to him, 'You won't sing, you can't sing, what a shame', then he'll go, 'Yes I can, I'll prove you wrong'." In another interview with The Project, she recalled how the legendary singer still wants to perform despite his facial disfigurement from the surgery. “He’s a singer,” she said at the time. “I know when he got back in the studio doing the audiobook, he was like, ‘I want to get back, I want to go back’." Image: Today/ Facebook

Caring

Beloved Friends, Tootsie and Mr Mom star passes away

Teri Garr, the beloved actress known for her iconic roles in classic films such as Young Frankenstein and Tootsie and her appearances on Friends, has passed away at the age of 79. Her death, confirmed by her publicist Heidi Schaeffer, occurred on Tuesday in Los Angeles, surrounded by family and friends. Garr's passing follows a long battle with multiple sclerosis, a condition she publicly disclosed in 2002 to raise awareness about the disease and its impact on daily life. Born Terry Ann Garr in Lakewood, Ohio, in 1944, Teri grew up in a theatrical family; her father was a vaudeville performer and her mother a Rockette. This background set the stage for Garr's early career, which began as a background dancer in Elvis Presley films during the 1960s. Her breakout role came in 1974 when she starred as Inga, the charming lab assistant to Gene Wilder's character in Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein. The film became a cornerstone of American comedy, showcasing Garr's unique blend of humour and warmth. Garr further solidified her place in cinematic history with her performance in Tootsie in 1982, where she portrayed the vulnerable actress friend of Dustin Hoffman’s character. This role earned her an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress. Critics praised her ability to balance comedy with emotional depth, with film critic Pauline Kael calling her "the funniest neurotic dizzy dame on the screen" at that time. Despite her success, Garr faced significant challenges due to her health. She was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis during the filming of Tootsie, a struggle she detailed in her memoir, Speedbumps: Flooring It Through Hollywood. In it, she described MS as a "sneaky disease," one that complicated her life and career but did not define it. “My body had a trick or two up its sleeve," she wrote. "A stumble here, a tingling finger there. I was trained as a dancer and knew better than to indulge the random aches and pains that visited now and then. Being a successful Hollywood actress may be challenging, but little did I know that the very body that had always been my calling card would betray me.” Garr became an advocate for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, using her platform to inspire others facing similar challenges. Throughout her career, Garr appeared in over 140 film and TV projects. She was known for her roles in Mr. Mom, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and various television shows including Friends, where she played Phoebe's birth mother. Her playful spirit and comedic timing made her a favourite among audiences and fellow actors alike. In recent years, Garr had limited her appearances due to health issues but remained an influential figure in Hollywood. Tributes have poured in from fans and colleagues alike, celebrating her legacy as a pioneer for women in comedy and an inspiration for those battling chronic illnesses. Teri Garr leaves behind a rich legacy filled with laughter and heart. She is survived by her daughter Molly O'Neil and grandson Tyryn. Her contributions to film and television will be remembered fondly by generations to come. Images: CNN \ Fox Studios

Caring

Colin Farrell completes marathon while pushing friend in wheelchair

Colin Farrell has completed the Dublin Marathon by pushing his friend in a wheelchair across the finish line. The 48-year-old actor ran the final 4 kilometres of the 42km race while pushing his friend Emma Fogarty, who lives with a rare skin condition, to the end of the race. Back home in his native Ireland, Farrell ran the marathon to raise money for DEBRA, an Irish charity supporting people who, like Fogarty, have the incurable genetic condition epidermolysis bullosa (EB) – also known as butterfly skin. Fogarty is Ireland's oldest surviving person with the condition, and after reaching a milestone of turning 40 in June, her and Farrell pledged to complete the race together. According to the PA Media news agency, Emma was born with a severe form of the condition, as she was born with no skin on her left foot and right arm and can develop very painful blisters from even the slightest touch. Farrell told PA, "I have known Emma for many years and she epitomises bravery, she is what courage and pure determination are all about." "That run was nothing compared to the pain she is forced to endure every single day, even though she doesn't show it." "It was an honour to see her waiting for me with 4km to go, each of those representing a decade of her life, and to do the final stretch together. I'll never forget it." Also speaking to PA, Fogarty said, "This was a dream come true for me and I want to thank Colin, who has been the most supportive, generous and loyal friend I could wish for." "He has always shown his compassion and empathy for people living with EB and is a true champion in my eyes. Running a marathon is never easy but once he committed to it there was no going back, he is a man of his word." Fogarty and Farrell originally set out to raise €400,000 ($660,000 AUD) for the charity but now aim to hit the million-euro mark ($1.6 million AUD), after the pair completed the marathon in just over four hours. Image credits: CNN

Caring

The science of happier dogs: 5 tips to help your canine friends live their best life

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mia-cobb-15211">Mia Cobb</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> When you hear about “science focused on how dogs can live their best lives with us” it sounds like an imaginary job made up by a child. However, the field of <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/podcast/ourchangingworld?share=2ec8e0ad-5008-4b2d-ae2e-a288e2a77f50">animal welfare science is real</a> and influential. As our most popular animal companion and coworker, dogs are very deserving of scientific attention. In recent years we’ve learned more about <a href="https://theconversation.com/dogs-can-get-dementia-but-lots-of-walks-may-lower-the-risk-189297">how dogs are similar to people</a>, but also how they are distinctly themselves. We often think about how dogs help us – as companions, <a href="https://theconversation.com/meet-moss-the-detection-dog-helping-tassie-devils-find-love-142909">working as detectors</a>, and keeping us <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-owning-a-dog-good-for-your-health-238888">safe and healthy</a>. Dog-centric science helps us <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2021.666898/full">think about the world from a four-paw perspective</a> and apply this new knowledge so dogs can enjoy a good life. Here are five tips to keep the tails in your life wagging happily. <h2>1. Let dogs sniff</h2> Sniffing <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/animal-emotions/201902/allowing-dogs-sniff-helps-them-think-positively">makes dogs happier</a>. We tend to forget they live in a smell-based world because we’re so visual. Often taking the dog for a walk is our daily physical activity but we should remember it could be our dogs’ only time out of the home environment. Letting them have a really good sniff of that tree or post is full of satisfying information for them. It’s their nose’s equivalent of us standing at the top of a mountain and enjoying a rich, colour-soaked, sunset view. <h2>2. Give dogs agency</h2> Agency is a <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2023.1284869/full">hot topic in animal welfare science</a> right now. For people who lived through the frustration of strict lockdowns in the early years of COVID, it’s easy to remember how not being able to go where we wanted, or see who we wanted, when we wanted, impacted our mental health. We’ve now learned that <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/veterinary-science/articles/10.3389/fvets.2023.1250251/full">giving animals choice and control</a> in their lives is important for their mental wellbeing too. We can help our dogs enjoy better welfare by creating more choices and offering them control to exercise their agency. This might be installing a doggy door so they can go outside or inside when they like. It could be letting them decide which sniffy path to take through your local park. Perhaps it’s choosing which three toys to play with that day from a larger collection that gets rotated around. Maybe it’s putting an old blanket down in a new location where you’ve noticed the sun hits the floor for them to relax on. Providing choices doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive. <h2>3. Recognise all dogs are individuals</h2> People commonly ascribe certain personality traits to certain dog breeds. But just like us, dogs have their own personalities <a href="https://scitechdaily.com/food-vs-toys-scientists-reveal-what-dogs-truly-prefer/">and preferences</a>. Not all dogs are going to like the same things and a new dog we live with may be completely different to the last one. One dog might like to go to the dog park and run around with other dogs at high speed for an hour, while another dog would much rather hang out with you chewing on something in the garden. We can see as much <a href="https://www.science.org/content/article/your-dog-s-breed-doesn-t-determine-its-personality-study-suggests">behavioural variation within breeds as we do between them</a>. Being prepared to meet dogs where they are, as individuals, is important to their welfare. As well as noticing what dogs like to do as individuals, it’s important not to force dogs into situations they don’t enjoy. <a href="https://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/dogs/behaviour/understanding">Pay attention to behaviour</a> that indicates dogs aren’t comfortable, such as looking away, licking their lips or yawning. <h2>4. Respect dogs’ choice to opt out</h2> Even in our homes, we can provide options if our dogs don’t want to share in every activity with us. Having a quiet place that dogs can retreat to is really important in enabling them to opt out if they want to. If you’re watching television loudly, it may be too much for <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/canine-corner/202407/how-good-is-a-dogs-hearing-compared-to-humans">their sensitive ears</a>. Ensure a door is open to another room so they can retreat. Some dogs might feel overwhelmed when visitors come over; giving them somewhere safe and quiet to go rather than forcing an interaction will help them cope. Dogs can be terrific role models for children when teaching empathy. We can demonstrate consent by letting dogs approach us for pats and depart when they want. Like seeing exotic animals perform in circuses, dressing up dogs for our own entertainment seems to have had its day. If you asked most dogs, they don’t want to wear costumes or be part of your Halloween adventures. <h2>5. Opportunities for off-lead activity – safely.</h2> When dogs are allowed to run off-lead, they use space differently. They tend to explore more widely and go faster than they do when walking with us on-lead. This offers them important and fun physical activity to keep them fit and healthy. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2AchEFiDwA8?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>Demonstrating how dogs walk differently when on- and off-lead.</figcaption></figure> A recent exploration of <a href="https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/we-checked-if-melbourne-really-is-a-dog-friendly-city">how liveable cities are for dogs</a> mapped all the designated areas for dogs to run off-leash. Doggy density ranged from one dog for every six people to one dog for every 30 people, depending on where you live. It also considered how access to these areas related to the annual registration fees for dogs in each government area compared, with surprising differences noted across greater Melbourne. We noted fees varied between A$37 and $84, and these didn’t relate to how many off-lead areas you could access. For dog-loving nations, such as Australia, helping our canine friends live their best life feels good. <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/national/programmes/afternoons/audio/2018957756/our-changing-world-the-science-behind-dog-welfare">Science that comes from a four-paw perspective</a> can help us reconsider our everyday interactions with dogs and influence positive changes so we can live well, together.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/236952/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mia-cobb-15211">Mia Cobb</a>, Research Fellow, Animal Welfare Science Centre, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-science-of-happier-dogs-5-tips-to-help-your-canine-friends-live-their-best-life-236952">original article</a>. </div>

Family & Pets

Lost touch with someone? Reach out – your friend will likely appreciate it more than you think

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peggy-liu-818769">Peggy Liu</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-pittsburgh-854">University of Pittsburgh</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-min-1354136">Lauren Min</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-kansas-1588">University of Kansas</a> <h2>The big idea</h2> The next time you wonder whether to reach out to a friend, family member, classmate or other person who’s been out of touch for a long time, go ahead and do it. According to <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000402">our just-published research</a>, it’s likely they’ll appreciate it more than you think. In a series of 13 experiments involving over 5,900 participants, we – along with colleagues <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=0Stzf1cAAAAJ&hl=en">SoYon Rim</a> and <a href="https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=TZQefJAAAAAJ&hl=en">Kate Min</a> – wanted to investigate whether people accurately predict <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000402">how much their social contacts appreciate being reached out to</a>. In one experiment we conducted, college students wrote a note “to check in and say hello” to a classmate they hadn’t interacted with in a while. Then we asked them how much they thought their classmate would appreciate receiving this note. Next, we delivered these notes to their classmates and asked the recipients how much they appreciated receiving them. We found that the students who received the notes were much more appreciative of the gesture than the students who wrote them had anticipated. Other experiments varied the scenario by involving older adults as participants rather than college students, switching the written message to a small gift – such as cookies or coffee – and comparing how much the sender underestimated the appreciation that an emotionally distant contact would feel compared with a close contact. Overall they yielded the same basic finding: People tended to underestimate how much others appreciated hearing from them. What drives this underestimation? Our results suggest that it’s related to how little the people reaching out factor in the surprise felt by those being contacted. When we asked recipients what they focused on when indicating how appreciative they felt, they reported paying a lot of attention to their positive feelings of surprise, which were linked to how appreciative they felt. Comparatively, potential senders did not report focusing much on recipients’ positive feelings of surprise. It also mattered whether the two parties were already in a close relationship. People’s underestimations were even greater when their contact was a distant acquaintance because these recipients were especially surprised at being contacted. <h2>Why it matters</h2> Many people can name at least one person with whom they would like to reconnect. Taking a new job, moving to a different city, becoming a parent, or the busyness of everyday life – these are just some of the life events and circumstances that can cause people to lose touch. Then, if the desire to reconnect arises on one side, doubts may arise about whether the other person may appreciate being contacted out of the blue. When people consider taking the initiative to reach out, especially after a prolonged period of no contact, they may worry about being rejected. This worry might keep them from reaching out in the first place. Our research lessens this challenge by showing that often, these gestures will be much more appreciated than one might expect. <h2>What other research is being done</h2> Our findings fit within a growing stream of research examining the tendency to underestimate others’ appreciation of various social exchanges. For example, other researchers have found that people underestimate how much <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/pspa0000277">others appreciate receiving compliments</a> or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618772506">expressions of gratitude</a>. Our work adds to this area by broadening the scope of the contexts in which people underestimate how much social exchanges are appreciated. Reaching out could but need not require giving compliments or expressing gratitude – the gesture can be as simple as checking in with someone to show that one is thinking about them.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/185001/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peggy-liu-818769">Peggy Liu</a>, Ben L. Fryrear Chair in Marketing and Associate Professor of Business Administration, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-pittsburgh-854">University of Pittsburgh</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lauren-min-1354136">Lauren Min</a>, Assistant Professor of Marketing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-kansas-1588">University of Kansas</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/lost-touch-with-someone-reach-out-your-friend-will-likely-appreciate-it-more-than-you-think-185001">original article</a>. </div>

Relationships

30 years of Friends: how the US sitcom became an enduring global sensation

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/richard-howells-1225412">Richard Howells</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kings-college-london-1196">King's College London</a> I have to be honest – I didn’t actually watch the first episode of the classic TV series Friends when it originally aired in the US on September 22 1994. Nor did I bother when it first turned up on British television the following spring. But the final instalment was a different matter. I was on a road trip in the US at the time and checked into a motel on the outskirts of Cincinnati, Ohio specially to catch the concluding episode (The Last One) on May 6 2004. Room service arrived in the nick of time. My burger and beer only fuelled my appetite for what was to come – and the anticipation of guessing what the final line would be. So why the big change? How did my attitude evolve from indifference in the nineties to excitedly pulling off the interstate in the noughties? The answer is key to the show’s success – and why it remains so popular today. Back in 1994, the initial premise of Friends seemed to lack promise. The plot revolved round six not especially interesting characters, and none of the cast was especially famous (at least to me). The show was set mainly in two adjacent apartments in Manhattan and a coffee bar called Central Perk to which the characters returned almost every episode and in which (in the best sitcom tradition) the best seats were always available. Crucially, not a lot actually happened. <h2>The power of the ensemble</h2> So why did it work? The first important thing is that Friends was not so much a situation comedy as a character comedy. That meant it did not need a remarkable premise or dramatic incidents to drive the show. It was an ensemble piece in which we gradually got to know the characters and the friends became our friends. The show was built around everyday storylines – crushes, romances and misunderstandings or maybe something as gently amusing as Ross overdoing the teeth whitener. Viewers began to identify with individual characters (<a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/ljune/are-you-more-rachel-or-monica-from-friends-alfsqwp6hf">“are you a Monica or a Rachel?”</a>) or to take sides on the issues of the day. What, for example, are the relationship rules of being “on a break”? <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/TIK01MpwWGg?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>One episode of Friends revolves around Ross (David Schwimmer) getting his teeth whitened.</figcaption></figure> Friends was, of course, very well produced, cast and written. As it became even more successful, it survived the normally perilous inclusion of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHLaISBRmdI">celebrity guest stars</a> and – vitally – it never “jumped the shark” (industry-speak for growing out of its initial premise or building up to dramatic, but ultimately silly, plot gimmicks from which it is impossible to recover). Ultimately, and hearteningly, the six characters all remained friends. Beneath the professional craft and production polish of Friends, it is the concept of friendship, underscored with by the viewer’s sense of aspiration, which ultimately explains the series’ success then and now. One of the functions of popular culture is to provide a better imaginary world than the one we actually inhabit. In some ways this is simply compensation for the reality of the everyday: we dream of that which we do not have. It’s what the great Utopian sociologist Ernst Bloch called <a href="https://www.marxists.org/archive/bloch/hope/introduction.htm">“wishful images in the mirror”</a> – except that the mirror here is a television screen. The world of Monica, Rachel, Joey, Chandler, Phoebe and Ross is certainly a wishful one for many. They live in improbably nice apartments for their jobs (or lack of them), and they are defined by their personalities rather than their careers. They are good looking and well dressed, and the series centres on their ample leisure and social time. Unlike reality, arguments are always overcome and – most importantly of all – friendship always triumphs. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pPM7VxnVViw?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption>The first and last scene of Friends.</figcaption></figure> What a contrast this vision provides to the actual lives of so many people today. The real world is beset with isolation, loneliness, sometimes insurmountable problems, occasionally fear and certainly drudgery. But with Friends, as the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLisEEwYZvw">chirpy theme song</a> reminds us, there is always someone “there for you” – if only in surrogate. Some critics today carp about the show’s <a href="https://metro.co.uk/2023/04/02/lack-of-diversity-on-friends-mocked-on-snl-after-years-of-criticism-18542168/">lack of diversity</a> and <a href="https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/entertainment/a38817/11-times-friends-sexist-homophobic/">outdated attitudes</a> to the cultural issues of the present day. While this may be true, like TV series, criticism also dates. And series which have long gone into reruns, repeats, streaming and syndication are virtually critic-proof in that they are recommended by word of mouth rather than increasingly ideologically centred reviews. Viewers just want it to be funny. Oh: And in case you were wondering, the final line in the whole of Friends went to the <a href="https://theconversation.com/matthew-perry-the-power-of-celebrities-speaking-publicly-about-their-addiction-216879">late Matthew Perry</a> as Chandler Bing. When Rachel suggests they all go for one last coffee, Chandler quips: “Sure. Where?” <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/richard-howells-1225412">Richard Howells</a>, Emeritus Professor of Cultural Sociology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kings-college-london-1196">King's College London</a> Image credits: NBC This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/30-years-of-friends-how-the-us-sitcom-became-an-enduring-global-sensation-239464">original article</a>. </div>

Family and friends farewell Sam Landsberger

Sam Landsberger's family and friends have said their final goodbyes to the beloved sports journalist. The Herald Sun AFL and cricket reporter was talking on the phone with his mum while on the way to meet a friend when he was <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/he-was-at-peace-sam-landsberger-s-parents-break-silence-after-sudden-death" target="_blank" rel="noopener">hit by a truck</a> at the intersection of Bridge Rd and Church St in Richmond, Melbourne on August 20. The 35-year-old later died at The Alfred hospital from his injuries. Hundreds gathered to farewell him at a funeral service at the Temple Beth Israel synagogue in St Kilda. His parents, Jake and Anne, have remembered their youngest child and only son as a "caring and wonderful" person. “Approximately 22 years ago our family stood in this same spot in this wonderful big hall celebrating Sam’s bar mitzvah, now we find ourselves in this exact hall in utter and complete devastation,” Jake said. “I heard so many stories that parents should never ever have to bury their children, yet this is what we are doing. “He was a dedicated, hardworking journalist who loved his job. “He brought so much joy to our lives. He lit up every room he entered, yet he lit up our entire lives.” His father also said that Sam's second grade teacher called him a "diamond" and it was the perfect word to describe him. Jake also recalled his favourite story about his son when he was 10 years old. “Sam had vomited all over his front, his chest was bright yellow,” he said. “I picked him up over the fence and we walked into the rooms to check him over … (only to learn) the reason he was sick was he’d just consumed a jumbo box of Cheezels. “From that time on, every member of the club would call him Cheezels. “At this moment it’s indescribable devastation we feel but also underlining gratitude for what he gave, a beautiful, gorgeous, caring young man who will never be forgotten and always be in our hearts.” Sam’s mother, thanked Herald Sun cartoonist Mark Knight for the <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C-9BuSHTic-/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==" target="_blank" rel="noopener">"wonderful tribute"</a> that captured his spirit and likeness to his maternal grandfather. “I delivered Sam, I nurtured Sam and I am so grateful that I was with him at the end,” she said. “There will always be a massive hole in my heart. I love you and will forever. “Rest in peace my darling boy, I love you.” <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C-9BuSHTic-/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C-9BuSHTic-/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Mark Knight (@knightcartoons)</a> </div> </blockquote> His older sister also talked about their heartbreak at losing their little brother, with a message from his niece being read out. “Dear Sam, I’m really going to miss you. I loved how you would push me on the swings...Thank you for teaching me about the Bulldogs. I’m sad I won’t get to see you again. Love Zara.” Another friend, Will Kim, revealed Sam was due to be best man at his wedding later this year. “I thought he’d be the one making a speech and saying nice things about me, not the other way around,” he said. “How cruel and unpredictable life can be.” Since news broke of Sam's death the footy community have shared their fond memories of him. “The entire AFL footy community is shocked and saddened to hear of the sudden death of Sam in a tragic road accident,” his online funeral notice stated. “His enthusiasm for the game and passion for his work was always evident and his positive approach and friendly nature will be fondly recalled by all who knew and worked with him. “Sincere sympathies to Jake, Anne, Jess, Sarah and all of his extended family, friends and colleagues.” The truck driver that struck Landsberger is due to appear before Melbourne Magistrates Court on September 19. While he underwent the standard roadside alcohol and drug tests, which were both negative, he was charged for refusing to provide a blood sample to police. He has also been given a notice banning him from driving until his first court appearance. Images: Herald Sun

Caring

Readers response: What’s the longest friendship you’ve had, and what has kept it strong?

When it comes. to friendships, it has long been said that people come into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. These "lifetime" relationships are often the friends we made when we were young, who have been by our side through thick and thin. We asked our readers what their longest friendships have been and what made them so strong, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. Linda Cox - 72 years. We were toddlers when we met and even though we have lived on opposite sides of the planet for the last 50 years, we are still best friends. Rae Meihuizen - 62 years. We met as a school friend of my cousin. He was my best man at my wedding and still a very dear friend to this day. Jennie Harley - My friend from school in Sydney living in same street. Although we live a long way apart & haven’t actually seen each other in many years, our phone calls, although sometimes we are both very slack, the relationship is always the same. No explaining things from the past just mutual understanding and love. Marilyn Carter - 60 years. We all met doing our hairdressing apprenticeship. We love each other so much and do anything for each and every one of us. Guila Kelly - Met at age 4 in prekinder. Born 2 weeks apart, both turn 80 shortly. Never a cross word. Marjorie Smith - 82 years. Met at school in NZ when we were 10 years old. Still friends but in different countries. My friend was one of our bridesmaids in 1954. Margaret Inglis - 74 years. Our mums were next to each other in hospital when we were born. I'm a day older, but even when my parents moved, Jennie and I would spend a few days each school holidays at each other's places. In 1969 I moved to Australia (from NZ) and we STILL catch up via FB etc. Went back to NZ for a few days about 7 years ago, yep, met up again and it was like we'd never been apart. Ros Bieg - 64yrs. Unconditional friendship and sooo many memories. Margaret Woodhouse - 68 years. We met at 12 and are 80 this year. Both totally different in personality, but tolerant of the differences and respect each other’s beliefs. Live in different states in Australia but FaceTime twice a week and spend 3-4 weeks together every year. Image credits: Shutterstock

Relationships

It’s hard to reach out to old friends, but doing so may help alleviate loneliness

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lara-b-aknin-1365501">Lara B Aknin</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gillian-sandstrom-1283157">Gillian Sandstrom</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kristina-castaneto-1548733">Kristina Castaneto</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a> Millions of <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/t1/tbl1/en/tv.action?pid=4510004801">Canadians are lonely</a>. This is worrisome because loneliness, defined by the World Health Organization as “<a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/15-11-2023-who-launches-commission-to-foster-social-connection">the social pain of not feeling connected</a>,” predicts both lower mental and physical health. Research shows that lacking a sense of social connection can pose an <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352">equivalent health risk to smoking 15 cigarettes per day</a>. To combat loneliness, people are commonly advised to seek out social connection. For many, this guidance brings to mind spending time with loved ones, such as close friends, family and romantic partners. But are there other people we can reach out to? In our research, recently published in Communications Psychology, we examined whether people have “old friends” — individuals that they care about but with whom they have lost touch — and <a href="https://doi.org/10.1038/s44271-024-00075-8">how easily these relationships can be rekindled</a>. We found that certain strategies can help people reconnect — and, in new research, we are getting a sense that certain values and personality traits may make it easier for people to stay in touch far into the future. <h2>Reconnecting with old friends</h2> Across a series of seven studies, we found the majority of people reported having an old friend. Yet, when we asked over 400 participants how willing they would be to reach out to an old friend right now, most said they were neutral or unwilling. In fact, in one study, people reported being no more willing to reach out to an old friend than they were to talk to a stranger or pick up trash. This reluctance was observable in behaviour too. We conducted two experiments in which more than 1,000 people were given several minutes to draft and send a message to an old friend. Only 30 per cent sent the message to their old friend. Given that reaching out to an old friend could boost <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2018/08/19/the-power-and-joy-of-reconnecting-with-old-friends/">feelings of social connection and happiness</a>, we tried designing interventions to encourage reaching out. For instance, we reminded participants that reaching out to an old friend was an act of kindness and that the recipient would appreciate it more than they realize. We also tried telling participants not to overthink it — to just send their message. Unfortunately, neither prompt was effective at encouraging more people to reach out. <h2>Reluctance to reconnect</h2> Why are people reluctant to reach out to old friends? There may be a number of reasons, including the possibility that old friends feel like strangers after time has passed. In one study with over 500 participants we asked people to list between three to five old friends, and tell us how close each one felt to them right now. The more unfamiliar an old friend felt, the less willing people were to reach out. Research has found that when people <a href="https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2022.104356">practise talking to strangers for a week</a>, they become less anxious about it. If old friends can feel like strangers, might a similar strategy encourage people to reach out to old friends? To find out, we conducted an experiment in which we randomly assigned some people to complete a three-minute warm-up activity in which they messaged current family or friends. Other participants were randomly assigned to a control condition in which they simply browsed social media for three minutes instead. Afterward, all participants were given an opportunity to write and send a message to an old friend. While only 30 per cent of participants sent their message in the control condition, over 50 per cent did so after warming-up, suggesting that practising the behaviour that underlies reaching out may make this act easier. <h2>Personality traits</h2> We are extending this research in a number of new directions. For instance, in some newly conducted and unpublished research, we are examining whether people with certain personality traits or beliefs are more likely to send a message to an old friend. Responses from over 300 people suggest that people who are open to new experiences — <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/basics/big-5-personality-traits">one of the five key personality traits studied by psychologists</a> — say they are willing to reach out to an old friend. Despite this inclination, our research found that highly open people do not necessarily communicate with old friends when given the chance. On the other hand, people’s values and beliefs may be important determinants of whether they stay in touch. Our preliminary work shows that people who see friendship as a bond that does not easily break may be more likely to reach out than others. We hope this work helps normalize the fact that friendships can fade and be hard to rekindle. That said, with some practice, people can overcome this reluctance and hit “send” to potentially open a path to connection and less loneliness.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/234895/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lara-b-aknin-1365501">Lara B Aknin</a>, Distinguished Professor of Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/gillian-sandstrom-1283157">Gillian Sandstrom</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sussex-1218">University of Sussex</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kristina-castaneto-1548733">Kristina Castaneto</a>, Master's Student, Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/simon-fraser-university-1282">Simon Fraser University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/its-hard-to-reach-out-to-old-friends-but-doing-so-may-help-alleviate-loneliness-234895">original article</a>. </div>

Relationships

Wellness is not women’s friend. It’s a distraction from what really ails us

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-seers-1131296">Kate Seers</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachel-hogg-321332">Rachel Hogg</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> Wellness is mainly marketed to women. We’re encouraged to eat clean, take <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CYqaatWPxvy/">personal responsibility</a> for our well-being, happiness and life. These are the hallmarks of a strong, independent woman in 2022. But on the eve of International Women’s Day, let’s look closer at this <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-neoliberalism-colonised-feminism-and-what-you-can-do-about-it-94856">neoliberal feminist</a> notion of wellness and personal responsibility – the idea women’s health and well-being depends on our individual choices. We argue wellness is not concerned with actual well-being, whatever wellness “guru” and businesswoman Gwyneth Paltrow <a href="https://goop.com/wellness/">suggests</a>, or influencers say on Instagram. Wellness is an industry. It’s also a seductive distraction from what’s really impacting women’s lives. It glosses over the structural issues undermining women’s well-being. These issues cannot be fixed by drinking a turmeric latte or #livingyourbestlife. <h2>What is wellness?</h2> Wellness <a href="https://globalwellnessinstitute.org/press-room/statistics-and-facts/">is an</a> unregulated US$4.4 trillion global industry due to reach almost $7 trillion by 2025. It promotes self-help, self-care, fitness, nutrition and spiritual practice. It <a href="https://globalwellnessinstitute.org/what-is-wellness/">encourages</a> good choices, intentions and actions. Wellness is alluring because it feels empowering. Women are left with a sense of control over their lives. It is particularly alluring in times of great uncertainty and limited personal control. These might be during a relationship break up, when facing financial instability, workplace discrimination or a global pandemic. But wellness is not all it seems. <h2>Wellness blames women</h2> Wellness implies women are flawed and need to be fixed. It demands women resolve their psychological distress, improve their lives and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1360780418769673?journalCode=sroa">bounce back from adversity</a>, regardless of personal circumstances. Self-responsibility, self-empowerment and self-optimisation underpin how women are expected to think and behave. As such, wellness <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CZs2iIxrSwb/">patronises women</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CT3bw_Yhsp6/">micro-manages their daily schedules</a> with journaling, skin care routines, 30-day challenges, meditations, burning candles, yoga and lemon water. Wellness encourages women to improve their appearance through diet and exercise, manage <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ7IO7qJHZ_/">their surroundings</a>, <a href="https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/5489-female-leadership-advice.html">performance at work</a> and their capacity to <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/working-women-balance">juggle the elusive work-life balance</a> as well as <a href="https://medium.com/authority-magazine/having-a-positive-mental-attitude-and-thinking-process-is-a-successful-key-to-healthy-wellbeing-ae11e303969c">their emotional responses</a> <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">to these pressures</a>. They do this with support from costly life coaches, psychotherapists and self-help guides. Wellness demands women <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CaFc2o7OHSf/">focus on their body</a>, with one’s body a measure of their commitment to the task of wellness. Yet this ignores how much these choices and actions cost. Newsreader and journalist Tracey Spicer <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CaDh28nBp4k/">says</a> she has spent more than A$100,000 over the past 35 years for her hair to “look acceptable” at work. Wellness keeps women <a href="https://www.hercampus.com/school/bu/the-male-gazes-effect-from-beauty-ideals-to-mental-health/">focused on their appearance</a> and keeps them spending. It’s also <a href="https://medium.com/artfullyautistic/the-dark-reality-of-wellness-culture-and-ableism-307307fcdafb">ableist</a>, <a href="https://www.byrdie.com/wellness-industry-whitewashing-5074880">racist</a>, <a href="https://msmagazine.com/2020/07/16/tools-of-the-patriarchy-diet-culture-and-how-we-all-perpetuate-the-stigma/">sexist</a>, <a href="https://www.self.com/topic/anti-aging">ageist</a> and <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/on-the-inside/422517/the-pursuit-of-wellness-wellness-is-for-the-wealthy">classist</a>. It’s aimed at an ideal of young women, thin, white, middle-class and able-bodied. <h2>But we can’t live up to these ideals</h2> Wellness assumes women have equal access to time, energy and money to meet these ideals. If you don’t, “<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/may/08/the-self-help-cult-of-resilience-teaches-australians-nothing">you’re just not trying hard enough</a>”. Wellness also <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1360780418769673?journalCode=sroa">implores women</a> to be “adaptable and positive”. If an individual’s #positivevibes and wellness are seen as <a href="https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-should-say-no-to-positivity-and-yes-to-our-negative-emotions/">morally good</a>, then it becomes morally necessary for women to engage in behaviours framed as “investments” or “self-care”. For those who do not achieve self-optimisation (hint: most of us) this is a personal, shameful failing. <h2>Wellness distracts us</h2> When women believe they are to blame for their circumstances, it hides structural and cultural inequities. Rather than questioning the culture that marginalises women and produces feelings of doubt and inadequacy, wellness provides solutions in the form of superficial empowerment, confidence and resilience. Women don’t need wellness. They are unsafe. <a href="https://www.ourwatch.org.au/quick-facts/">Women are</a> <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/personal-safety-australia/latest-release">more likely</a> to be murdered by a current or former intimate partner, with reports of the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-governments-can-do-about-the-increase-in-family-violence-due-to-coronavirus-135674">pandemic increasing</a> the risk and severity of <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/dec/01/the-worst-year-domestic-violence-soars-in-australia-during-covid-19">domestic violence</a>. Women are more likely to be employed in unstable <a href="https://lighthouse.mq.edu.au/article/april-2020/Pandemics-economic-blow-hits-women-hard">casualised labour, and experience economic hardship and poverty</a>. Women are also bearing the brunt <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/report/womens-work/">of the economic fallout from COVID</a>. Women are more likely to be juggling a career with <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/374/bmj.n1972">unpaid domestic duties</a> and more likely <a href="https://www.mercyfoundation.com.au/our-focus/ending-homelessness/older-women-and-homelessness/">to be homeless</a> as they near retirement age. In their book <a href="https://www.dukeupress.edu/confidence-culture#:%7E:text=They%20argue%20that%20while%20confidence,responsible%20for%20their%20own%20conditions.">Confidence Culture</a> UK scholars Shani Orgad and Rosalind Gill argue hashtags such as #loveyourbody and #believeinyourself imply psychological blocks, rather than entrenched social injustices, are what hold women back. <h2>What we should be doing instead</h2> Wellness, with its self-help rhetoric, <a href="http://www.consultmcgregor.com/documents/research/neoliberalism_and_health_care.pdf">absolves the government</a> of responsibility to provide transformative and effectual action that ensures women are safe, delivered justice, and treated with respect and dignity. Structural inequity was not created by an individual, and it will not be solved by an individual. So this International Women’s Day, try to resist the neoliberal requirement to take personal responsibility for your wellness. Lobby governments to address structural inequities instead. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/why-women-should-embrace-their-anger/">Follow your anger</a>, not your bliss, call out injustices when you can. And in the words of sexual assault survivor and advocate Grace Tame, “make some noise”. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-seers-1131296">Kate Seers</a>, PhD Candidate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachel-hogg-321332">Rachel Hogg</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/wellness-is-not-womens-friend-its-a-distraction-from-what-really-ails-us-177446">original article</a>. </div>

Mind

"A true fighter": Tragic loss to Australian media

Trailblazing journalist and editor Judith Whelan has passed away at the age of 63. The ABC confirmed Whelan's death, saying she died on Wednesday after a long battle with cancer. ABC managing director David Anderson was among the first to pay tribute to the “loved and respected” Whelan, confirming her death. “We have lost a great friend and journalism has lost a true fighter,” <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/about/media-centre/statements-and-responses/judith-whelan-announcement/104027286?utm_content=link&utm_medium=content_shared" target="_blank" rel="noopener">he said in a statement</a> released by the public broadcaster. “Judith always had the instincts that made her such a formidable journalist. She carried with her a commitment to truth and accountability and instilled these values in those who worked with her." “A valued mentor to younger journalists, Judith nurtured while leading by example. Judith was tough but caring and wanted those around her to succeed. Young reporters knew Judith would champion their work if the story needed to be told.” Sydney Morning Herald editor Bevan Shields said Whelan will always remain a beloved part of their team. “Judith was a wonderful editor, colleague and friend. She was at the Herald for more than three decades and remains part of our DNA. We are heartbroken by her death,” he told the Herald. “She had a finely tuned news radar but also revelled in journalism that could entertain and inform readers. She was a natural leader and a beautiful person. Our thoughts are with Chris, Sophia and Patrick.” Whelan first joined the ABC in 2016, where she was first appointed Director of Regional and Local News before taking the role of ABC editorial director in 2022. Prior to her work at the public broadcaster, Whelan worked for several other publications, including Sydney Morning Herald, where she also served as news director and editor of its weekend edition. The talented media executive was one of just three female editors in the SMH’s history. Well respected in her field, Whelan’s career also saw her stationed in both the Pacific and Europe as a foreign correspondent, and she was also nominated for a Walkley Award for her news and feature writing. Image credits: ABC

Caring

How to write creative non-fiction history

Discovering an old photo album from the 1920s, celebrated author and adjunct professor Paul Ashton embarked on a journey to turn historical research into engaging creative non-fiction, blending meticulous evidence with captivating storytelling. Here he shares he insights on the fascinating process. One afternoon my elderly father and niece came to my home for lunch. On their way they had seen something on a council clean up. ‘We thought you might be interested in this,’ said my father handing me a small, brown photo album. I was. The album contained around 100 undated black and white photographs. It became apparent quickly that this was the record of a road trip done in the 1920s or 1930s. A boy, two women and a man had gone on a trip from Sydney up through New England, to Tamworth then to Brisbane and back to Sydney. Shadows in some of the images indicate that they were taken by the man and at least one of the women. The album provided the basis for my first children’s book, Palmer’s Mystery Hikes. One photograph stood out for me. Hundreds of people were gathered somewhere in the bush. In the far left-hand corner in the background was an elevated table covered with a large white tablecloth. With a magnifying glass I could just make out ‘Palmers [something] Hike’. In 1932 Palmer’s men and boys’ department store, in Park Street in Sydney, had established a hiking club to promote the sale of hiking apparel. You bought a ‘mystery’ ticket from New South Wales Railways with which Palmer had an arrangement; turned up at Central Station on Sunday morning; and were taken to a mystery destination. From there you did a ten-mile hike to another station and were then trained back to Sydney. There were five hikes. The third one to the Hawkesbury River attracted over 8,000 people. Turning historical research into believable fiction or creative non-fiction has certain demands. How do you strike a balance between historical research and evidence and the narrative form? This is a big question and will ultimately depend on many things, including the availability of primary and secondary sources and the nature of the particular narrative. But perhaps the most important question is: how do writers use the past to give their work historical dimensions and insights? For me, the most critical element is context. And it’s the thing most missing in much historically based fictional literature. Evoking people, places and periods involves understandings of things such as continuity and change over time, historical process – like colonisation and suburbanisation – ideologies and superstitions. Where appropriate, these should form subtle backgrounds to the narrative. Fiction and creative non-fiction as historical modes of presenting history should also show – not tell. My edited collection, If It’s not True It Should Be (Halstead Press), explores writing history using fictional techniques. As Peter Stanley has written in that book, ‘those who seek to illuminate the past through the imaginative recreation of historical fiction … [are] motivated by the fundamental conviction that what links the fidelity of the historian and the imagination of the historical novelist is that the work of both should be offered and read as if it were true.’ ABOUT THE AUTHOR Paul Ashton is adjunct professor and co-founder of the Australian Centre for Public History at the University of Technology Sydney and adjunct professor at the University of Canberra and Macquarie University. He has authored, co-authored, edited and co-edited over 40 books and is editor of the journal Public History Review. His series of creative non-fiction children’s histories – Accidental Histories – is being published by Halstead Press. Images: Supplied

Books

"Devastated": Chris Pratt mourns sudden death of longtime friend and stunt double

Superstar of big and small screen Chris Pratt is grieving the death of his longtime friend and former stunt double, Tony McFarr, who was found dead at his home near Orlando, Florida, on Monday. McFarr was 47, and the cause of his death remains undetermined. Pratt and McFarr began their professional relationship on the set of Jurassic World in 2015. Their collaboration continued on Passengers, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Over the years, they developed a strong bond that clearly extended beyond their work on screen. In an emotional Instagram tribute on Friday, Pratt expressed his heartbreak over the loss of McFarr. "We did several movies together," Pratt wrote. "We golfed, drank whiskey, smoked cigars, and spent endless hours on set. I'll never forget his toughness." Pratt then recalled a particularly intense moment during the filming of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 when McFarr suffered a severe head injury but quickly returned to work. "He was an absolute stud. He was always a gentleman and professional. He'll be missed." Pratt concluded his tribute by offering prayers to McFarr's friends and family, especially his daughter. He shared a series of photos showcasing their time together on set, displaying their striking resemblance, particularly when dressed in matching costumes. <img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2024/05/ChrisPratt_Insta02.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="970" /> In addition to doubling for Pratt in several films, McFarr's impressive career included work on other major Marvel productions like Captain America: Civil War and Ant-Man and the Wasp. He also served as Jon Hamm's stunt double in the 2018 action comedy Tag. <a href="https://www.tmz.com/2024/05/16/chris-pratt-stunt-double-tony-mcfarr-dead-dies-guardians-of-the-galaxy/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">According to TMZ</a>, McFarr's mother, Donna, reported that "he passed away Monday at his home just outside Orlando -- and while we're told the family doesn't know the exact circumstances of his death just yet ... Donna does say his passing is unexpected and shocking." "She says Tony was active and healthy ... and we're told the medical examiner's office is running toxicology tests now. The Orange County Medical Examiner confirms to us they have the case ... and that an official cause is still pending." Images: Instagram

Caring

"It seems crazy": Shane Dixon's gambling friend breaks his silence

The man who befriended Shane Dixon on a P&O Cruise before he plunged overboard has broken his silence, saying he too fell victim to seductive gambling tactics. The man, James, and his friends met Shane on the first day of the Elvis themed cruise and casually socialised throughout the entire trip. James, his friends, and Shane all spent time together in the onboard casino, where James was shocked by the blatant practices used by the cruise line to lure gamblers to the table. "We all got given free cruises to use in the next six months from the casino director and I myself racked up almost $2,000 gambling which was charged to my credit card, something I would never normally do in a million years," James told <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13415149/p-o-cruises-gambling-shane-dixon-suicide-pacific-adventure.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Daily Mail Australia</a>. "He [Shane] was a great guy and it’s so wrong how the casinos push so hard to get you to gamble more.'" When onboard a P&O cruise, customers use their room key, or "cruise card", as a form of currency to pay for various items onboard the ships. Passengers can either pay "cash" by topping their cruise card up with set cash amounts using machines located around the vessel or by "card" by linking it to a credit or debit card. James said the same payment methods extend to the casino, as every time a passenger plays a game in the casino they need to scan their cruise card, regardless of which type of payment arrangement they have set up. When funds are depleted, players have the option to select "charge room" to add more money and the bill will be charged to the card associated with your room at the end of every day. James said paying with this method makes it difficult to track how much you have spent, particularly as there is no internet on board to monitor transactions through online banking. When James, luckily, won back most of his debt and chose to walk away from the table before any more damage occurred, he asked the cashier if he could enter a self-exclusion arrangement to bar him as he didn't trust himself to not spend the cash. However, James said the cashier told him self-exclusion was not an option. "They should have been able to [disable my room key] just like they do with minors, but the cashier said they don’t know how or if it’s even possible," he said. "It seems crazy!" According to P&O's website, self-exclusion is one of the initiatives punters can access under the company's "commitment to the responsible delivery of gaming on our ships". The last time James saw Shane was while they were all dancing together in a bar at midnight on Monday. While he left to go to a club, Shane went back to the casino and just four hours later, the father-of-three was dead. "We were all drinking heavily but he was full of energy and happy," James said, recalling their last encounter. "He had been saying how he had lost heaps at the casino but we didn't know his situation so didn’t know how much of a big deal it was. He didn’t seem overly upset about it at the time. He seemed fine." Shane had racked up over $4,000 in gambling debt, and went overboard while the ship was making its way into Sydney Harbour. Image credits: Facebook / Shutterstock

Cruising

Best friends on the way to a wedding identified in fatal crash

The best friends who were on their way to a wedding when they were struck in a fatal crash in Brisbane have been identified. Lily Galbraith, 24, and Emma McLean, 23, were travelling in a silver sedan through the Legacy Way tunnel on Wednesday at 3pm when they were hit by a black Audi. Ms Galbraith, a South Australian nurse who was originally from the Northern Territory, died in the crash, while Ms McLean is still fighting for her life in hospital after suffering critical injuries. The driver of the Audi, who also died in the crash, has been identified as former police officer Bruce Daley. After the Audi collided with the sedan, police believe the impact of the crash then pushed the sedan into a small truck, causing serious injuries to the driver of the truck. Mr Daley, who was medically retired from the Queensland Police Service in December 2014, had posted online about relationship struggles and loneliness over several years. Inspector Hansel said speed would be a “focus” of the investigation, with claims the Audi hit speeds of up to 200km/h before the crash. The Nurses and Midwives Memorial Page Australia paid tribute to Ms Galbraith on Thursday. “Rest in peace, Lily. Thank you for your service. Condolences to your family, friends and colleagues,” the post read. “All the very best for Emma and sending love to her family as they wait to see how her progress is. We are also thinking of the bride, groom and any wedding guests also mourning.” Image credits: Instagram / Facebook

Caring

Marcia Hines reveals the true cause of her collapse

Australian Idol judge and iconic singer Marcia Hines has recently disclosed the harrowing details behind her backstage collapse on the eve of the show's Grand Finale. The 70-year-old singing legend was <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/marcia-hines-rushed-to-hospital" target="_blank" rel="noopener">rushed to the hospital</a> after collapsing in her dressing room at the Sydney Coliseum Theatre on March 24, sending shockwaves through the entertainment industry and leaving fans concerned for her well-being. Initially, speculation surrounded the incident, with many attributing it to her well-known battle with diabetes. However, in an exclusive interview with The Daily Telegraph, Hines unveiled the true cause – a urinary tract infection (UTI). "I don't know what happened," she shared, recounting the frightening moment. "I was about to go and do the semi-final for Australian Idol... I was sitting down, stood up, and fell over." “I had a urinary tract infection,” she added, referring to it as a “chick thing”. UTIs can wreak havoc on one's health, particularly in older individuals like Hines. They can lead to complications such as low blood pressure, resulting in dizziness, weakness and fainting – precisely the symptoms Hines experienced. Following her collapse, she required stitches on her forehead, but her determination to <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/entertainment/tv/marcia-hines-returns-as-australian-idol-fans-cry-foul-over-upset-win" target="_blank" rel="noopener">return for the show's final episode</a> was unwavering. Despite pleas from her doctor to take it easy, Hines leveraged her "bargaining power" and convinced him to allow her to fulfil her commitment to Australian Idol. "That's show business," she quipped. Following the Grand Finale, Hines did return to the hospital for further treatment, where she remained under observation for several days. Reflecting on the ordeal, Hines expressed gratitude for the outpouring of support she received from fans, friends and medical professionals. In an Instagram post, she acknowledged the exceptional healthcare system in Australia, particularly praising the efforts of the hospital staff who attended to her during her stay. Additionally, she extended her appreciation to the Australian Idol team and her colleagues at Grease: The Musical, where she holds a cameo role. Looking ahead, with her Idol commitments concluded for the year, Hines now shifts her focus to her role in Grease: The Musical, which is currently captivating audiences in Sydney before embarking on a tour to Perth. Images: Instagram

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