Search

Menopause is having a moment. How a new generation of women are shaping cultural attitudes

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bridgette-glover-2232638">Bridgette Glover</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> From hot flashes to hysteria, <a href="https://rowman.com/ISBN/9780739170007/Periods-in-Pop-Culture-Menstruation-in-Film-and-Television">film and TV</a> have long represented menopause as scary, emotional and messy. Recently, celebrities have been sharing their personal menopause experiences on social media, helping to re-frame the conversation in popular culture. We are also seeing more stories about menopause on television, with real stories and depictions that show greater empathy for the person going through it. Menopause is having a moment. But will it help women? <h2>The change onscreen</h2> This is not what we’re used to seeing on our screens. Countless sitcoms, from All in the Family (1971–79) to Two and a Half Men (2003–15) have used the menopause madness trope for laughs. Retro sitcom That ‘70s Show (1998–2006) used mom Kitty’s menopause journey as comedic fodder for multiple episodes. When she mistakes a missed period for pregnancy, Kitty’s surprise menopause diagnosis results in an identity crisis alongside mood swings, hot flashes and irritability. But the audience is not meant to empathise. Instead, the focus is on how Kitty’s menopause impacts the men in her family. Having to navigate Kitty’s symptoms, her veteran husband likens the experience to war: “I haven’t been this frosty since Korea”. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/mPLJBZiKV4U?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> Even when male characters are not directly involved, women are determined to reject menopause because they see it as a marker of age that signals a loss of desirability and social worth. In Sex and the City (1998–2004), Samantha describes herself as “day-old bread” when she presumes her late period signifies menopause. This is a popular framing of menopause in <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2018.1409969">post-feminist TV</a> of the 1990s and early 2000s. While the <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2012.712373#d1e783">menstruating body</a> is constructed as uncontrollable and in need of management, the menopausal body requires management and maintenance to reject signals of collapse. These storylines erase the genuine experiences of confusion, discomfort and transformation that come with menopause. <h2>A cultural moment arrives</h2> <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/12/31/460726461/why-2015-was-the-year-of-the-period-and-we-dont-mean-punctuation">Since 2015</a>, stories of menstruation have increased in popular culture. Series like comedy Broad City (2014–19) and comedy-drama Better Things (2016–22) directly call out the lack of menopause representations. When Abbi in Broad City admits she “totally forgot about menopause”, a woman responds “Menopause isn’t represented in mainstream media. Like, no one wants to talk about it”. Similarly, in Better Things, while watching her three daughters stare at the TV Sam laments: “No one wants to hear about it, which is why nobody ever prepared you for it”. And lack of preparation becomes a key theme for perimenopausal Charlotte in the Sex and the City reboot, And Just Like That … (2021–) when she has a “flash period”. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9AmwXuHo-2w?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> Fleabag (2016–19) included a groundbreaking monologue about menopause delivered by Kristen Scott-Thomas, playing a successful businesswoman. She describes menopause as “horrendous, but then it’s magnificent”. <blockquote> […] your entire pelvic floor crumbles, and you get fucking hot, and no one cares. But then you’re free. No longer a slave. No longer a machine with parts. </blockquote> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RZrnHnASRV8?wmode=transparent&start=13" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> Scripted by Phoebe Waller-Bridge, this <a href="https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-et-menopause-20190524-story.html">celebrated</a> monologue critiques the post-feminist notion of striving to be the “<a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14680777.2012.712373#d1e783">idealised feminine body</a>”. Through this new feminist lens, menopause is acknowledged as both painful – physically and emotionally – and necessary for liberation. <h2>Today’s menopause on screen</h2> Alongside more recent series like The Change (2023), multiple documentaries including <a href="https://www.tamsenfadal.com/the-m-factor">The (M) Factor</a> (2024), and <a href="https://theconversation.com/there-is-no-future-for-ageing-women-how-the-substance-uses-body-horror-in-a-feminist-critique-239729">arguably</a> even films like The Substance (2024), social media has become a prolific space for raising awareness about menopause. Celebrities use social media to share tales of perimenopause and menopause, often in real time. Last year, actor Drew Barrymore experienced her “first perimenopausal hot flash” during her talk show. And ABC News Breakfast guest host, Imogen Crump, had to pause her news segment, saying <blockquote> I could keep stumbling through, but I’m having such a perimenopausal hot flush right now, live on air. </blockquote> Both Barrymore and Crump shared clips of their live segments to their social media pages, to challenge stigma and create conversations. Crump even posted to <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/posts/imogen-crump-6b74b726_perimenopause-activity-7127788484861300736-mhHh/">LinkedIn</a> to raise awareness in a professional setting. In a podcast interview clip shared to Instagram, writer and skincare founder, Zoë Foster Blake describes perimenopause as a “real mental health thing”, because of the lack of awareness. Recalling conversations with other perimenopausal women, Foster Blake says “We all think we’re crazy. We don’t know what the fuck is going on”. Feeling “crazy” is a constant theme in these conversations. As actor and <a href="https://stripesbeauty.com/pages/founder-story">menopause awareness advocate</a> Naomi Watts points out, this is largely thanks to Hollywood. Despite the stigmatising media stereotype of “crazy lady that shouts”, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ3BN9rS_7g">Watts argues</a> that with “support and community”, women experiencing perimenopause and menopause “can thrive”. In fact, Watts believes menopause should be celebrated: “we know ourselves better, we’re wiser for our cumulative experiences”. Medical professionals like American doctors <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/DBUCPW5OUTf/">Marie Clare Haver</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C7IfaHDgXMY/">Corinne Menn</a> have been well-positioned to share their expertise and experiences via social media. They are catching and helping fuel a wave of advocacy and awareness for midlife women’s health. <h2>Building community</h2> After watching the menopause madness trope on our screens for decades, we are now seeing perimenopause and menopause depicted with more empathy. These depictions allow viewers – those who menstruate, who have menstruated, and who know menstruators – to feel seen and be informed. By sharing their experiences on social media and adding to these new screen stories, celebrities are building a community that makes the menopausal journey less lonely and helps those on it remember their worth.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/241784/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/bridgette-glover-2232638">Bridgette Glover</a>, PhD Candidate in Media and Communications, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-new-england-919">University of New England</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/menopause-is-having-a-moment-how-a-new-generation-of-women-are-shaping-cultural-attitudes-241784">original article</a>. </div>

Body

Lessons we can all learn from the "Forgotten Women"

“The greatest underutilised resource in our economy is mothers in their childbearing years,” lawyer <a href="https://womensagenda.com.au/latest/soapbox/time-forgotten-women-australia-rise/">Kate Asher wrote in this publication</a> in 2017. “We have told them since they were little girls that they can achieve anything in life. But after they become mothers, they discover the cruel truth: the system is rigged against them. We all know these women. Many of us are these women – the Forgotten Women.” Sadly, things haven’t changed much in the years since. The Forgotten Women sacrifice so much financially to raise their children – often while also caring for elderly parents or in-laws. The full cost of these sacrifices don’t become apparent until years later. Compounding effects Time away from work means no contributions going into superannuation and inappropriate investments eat away at what they did have. Coming on top of the gender pay gap, it leaves a massive retirement shortfall. Many women returning to paid employment struggle to resume their previous career or full-time work, instead forced into less secure, lower paid part-time and casual jobs. If student loans weren’t repaid before leaving work, those debts have ballooned under years of indexation. We know women bear the brunt of domestic violence. Many marriages end in divorce once grown children leave home. Meanwhile, <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/population/deaths-australia/latest-release#:~:text=There%2520were%2520183%252C131%2520registered%2520deaths,by%252047%2520deaths%2520to%2520911.">far more men die in their 50s and 60s</a> – their pre-retirement years – than women, leaving many young widows. All these factors see women unexpectedly find their partner is no longer the source of income they had counted on. No wonder women over 55 are <a href="https://womensagenda.com.au/politics/local/advocates-call-on-support-for-older-women-and-dv-survivors-this-world-homelessness-day/">the fastest-growing demographic for homelessness</a> in Australia. What can we learn from this? There are many things we can take away from the traumatic experiences of these much-maligned women. Chief among them: don’t be complacent. Maintain visibility of finances, and take action. As a financial adviser, I have met lots of women; many who only sought advice after finding themselves in a financial black hole. I’m also passionately involved with various causes that support disadvantaged women and those fleeing violence. What strikes me about these women is that they almost unanimously say “I never thought this could happen to me”. And for many it can be preventable. We must be proactive in looking after ourselves – our current AND future selves – which means developing our own financial independence. Simply leaving money matters up to our husband or partner is not an option. We also need to get the message to friends, sisters, colleagues…. Breaking the cycle Too many women have sadly come unstuck because they relied on weak financial foundations. Just like the foundations of a house, you need strong foundations on which to build financial independence: <ul> <li>Emergency fund: a ‘get out’ fund should you ever need to flee danger (violence, natural disaster) or your household finances take an unexpected hit (redundancy, illness, another pandemic…). Not having readily available cash in an emergency can leave you stuck or forced to dip into investments or home equity, costing you dearly longer term.</li> <li>Spending and investment plan: more comprehensive than a budget, this plan offers visibility over your incomings, outgoings and assets. Visibility is key to cutting wasteful spending, staying on top of bills, and keeping you aligned on your money goals. Avoid sexually transmitted debt.</li> <li>Insurances: a valuable back-up plan to offset losses and help you recover financially from a disaster – personal and home. For women who are stay-home mums or carers, of particular importance is that your partner has life and income protection insurance, ensuring you can keep a roof over your head should they die or become unable to work, and possibly trauma insurance for yourself.</li> <li>Superannuation: Knowing up-front that you will have nothing going into super while you are not working means you can minimise the shortfall. For instance, consider ‘pre-paying’ extra contributions while you are still earning and/or have your partner make spousal contributions during your time out of work (and have them claim the associated tax benefit), and consider spouse splitting. But know what is happening in his super too, and if in your own business ensure contributions are made for both of you. </li> <li>Estate planning: Ensure your wishes are documented and your children are protected, both after you are gone and in the event you are ever incapacitated. Consider wills, guardianship, power of attorney, superannuation beneficiaries, and tax planning.</li> </ul> With good foundations in place, you can then look to other ways to build your independence. Invest early. Savings and investments you make in your early working years can offset your lack of income once you leave the workforce and continue growing in value for your retirement. Consider upskilling. Distance education allows stay-home parents to obtain new skills and qualifications, enhancing their future employability and earning potential. Stay level-headed in a separation. I’ve seen many women forgo money and investments in favour of keeping the family home, only to realise down the track they can’t afford its upkeep on their own. Or they sign on the dotted line without advice. Remember too that super is part of the joint assets – you could claim part of your ex’s super in the settlement, offsetting your time away from paid work. Finally, consider your approach to parenting. This is 2024: women don’t need to be the sole caregivers. Some couples now both go part-time, allowing them both to maintain a foot in the workforce (and continue earning income and super) while also enjoying time with their youngsters! Helen Baker is a licensed Australian financial adviser and author of On Your Own Two Feet: The Essential Guide to Financial Independence for all Women. Helen is among the 1% of financial planners who hold a master’s degree in the field. Proceeds from book sales are donated to charities supporting disadvantaged women and children. Find out more at <a href="http://www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au/">www.onyourowntwofeet.com.au</a> Disclaimer: The information in this article is of a general nature only and does not constitute personal financial or product advice. Any opinions or views expressed are those of the authors and do not represent those of people, institutions or organisations the owner may be associated with in a professional or personal capacity unless explicitly stated. Helen Baker is an authorised representative of BPW Partners Pty Ltd AFSL 548754. Image credits: Shutterstock

Money & Banking

"Happy wives, happy social lives?" Men are more emotionally disconnected than women – what can be done about it?

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/roger-patulny-94836">Roger Patulny</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/hong-kong-baptist-university-2801">Hong Kong Baptist University</a> Many of us are worried about loneliness and isolation, and both <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-be-fooled-loneliness-affects-men-too-15545">decade-old</a> and <a href="https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/how-many-australians-are-lonely/">recent data</a> suggest they impact men more than women. Loneliness predicts health outcomes including <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1745691614568352">early mortality</a>, greater <a href="https://hqlo.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12955-022-01946-6">psychological distress</a>, and more <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41572-022-00355-9">cardiovascular, metabolic and neurological problems</a>. New research also links loneliness to <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-024-18770-w">more intolerant attitudes towards women</a>. These findings raise concerns over the causes and impacts of men’s loneliness and isolation. <h2>A deep dive into loneliness</h2> I recently analysed more than 50 indicators from a decade of data collected by the <a href="https://www.acspri.org.au/aussa">Australian Social Attitudes Survey</a>, from 2011–12, 2015–16, 2017–18, and 2022–23. My statistical models produced results for (self-identified) men and women, after controlling for the impacts of age, employment and partner status. I confirmed that Australian men are more likely to be socially and emotionally disconnected than women. I also found some reasons why this might be the case. I found men appear to focus their emotional energies primarily on their nuclear families and partners. Consequently, they over-rely on their female partners for intimate support and develop more distant, limited and transactional relationships with other people – and other men. <h2>Men are more emotionally disconnected</h2> The data show men continue to lack emotional support on a range of indicators. This puts them at greater risk of health impacts and potentially encourages more toxic attitudes towards women. A significantly greater proportion of men than women reported: <ul> <li>receiving no support from their closest friend</li> <li>receiving fun/practical advice over emotional support from close friends</li> <li>having less contact with a close friend</li> <li>not having anyone for emotional support</li> <li>not feeling “very close” to their closest friend</li> <li>not feeling “love” as their most commonly experienced emotion in the last week.</li> </ul> <h2>Men have more distant, transactional relationships</h2> Why are men in this situation? Masculinity roles are clearly influential. Traditional masculinity encourages men to appear capable, controlled and independent, avoid displays of “vulnerable” emotions or male-to-male affection (like hugging, touch or crying), and embrace the hetero-normative ideal of male provision and leadership. Such norms have been found to constrain male intimacy <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37531906/">by disallowing vulnerability</a>. My data show men tend to develop looser, transactional ties with more distant people. This may reduce the quality of the connection and its potential to reduce loneliness. I have found men are more likely than women to: <ul> <li>think it is OK to befriend someone just because they’ll make a “useful” contact</li> <li>feel obligated to repay favours immediately (foregoing longer-term connections)</li> <li>be kind to others because they “value doing the right thing”, rather than because they empathically connect with or care about the person</li> <li>give and receive kindness from strangers (rather than more familiar people)</li> <li>seek help with household jobs from more distant family or friends</li> <li>seek practical support (money, advice) from private and commercial sources (rather than friends or family)</li> <li>not seek help from family or friends for emotional, sickness or care issues.</li> </ul> This means many men retain an individualist masculine desire to remain emotionally aloof. <hr /> <iframe id="TBJfz" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: 0;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/TBJfz/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> <hr /> <h2>Appearing in control but becoming dependent?</h2> So where do men turn for intimate, emotional connection? Most often, their families. Prior studies show partnered men are <a href="https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-024-18770-w">less lonely than single men</a>. My data show men revere the nuclear family institution and the core supportive role of women and female partners. Men are more likely than women to: <ul> <li>believe having children increases their social standing</li> <li>believe family is more important than friends</li> <li>rely on family over friends for support</li> <li>have mixed-gender friendships (in contrast to womens’ predominately female friendships)</li> <li>see their (predominantly female) partner as their closest friend</li> <li>emotionally support their (predominantly female) partner ahead of supporting others.</li> </ul> However, the masculine desire to be a “good nuclear family man” <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37531906/">can both support and impede</a> men’s social connection. Partnered men might feel less lonely but that doesn’t mean they give or gain sufficient emotional support from their nuclear families. My data show men are less likely than women to: <ul> <li>plan or organise social and family activities</li> <li>have at least weekly contact with non-nuclear family or friends</li> <li>emotionally support their friends, family or children ahead of their partners</li> <li>have their partner support them ahead of others (women were more likely to support their children first).</li> </ul> This raises several issues. If men cling to the notion that their primary role is to provide for and support their (female) partner – while she in turn emotionally supports everyone else – they risk becoming personally isolated through diminished networks and outmoded expectations. In this context, men who believe they should earn more than their partners <a href="https://theconversation.com/loneliness-in-the-workplace-is-greatest-among-men-with-traditional-views-about-being-the-breadwinner-230535">are lonelier</a> than other men. It also risks pushing the burden of maintaining social and emotional connections onto <a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/">women and partners</a>, and men becoming socially and emotionally dependent on them. And it can “bake in” hetero-normative family-to-family interactions (organised by female partners) as the most “legitimate” form of socialising for men. This can be highly exclusionary for LGBTQIA+ people, along with single men and single fathers, who register among <a href="https://www.relationships.org.au/relationship-indicators/">the highest rates of loneliness in Australia</a>. <hr /> <iframe id="qCmHw" class="tc-infographic-datawrapper" style="border: 0;" src="https://datawrapper.dwcdn.net/qCmHw/" width="100%" height="400px" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> <hr /> <h2>How can men become more emotionally connected?</h2> Feelings shouldn’t be seen as just a <a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a27259689/toxic-masculinity-male-friendships-emotional-labor-men-rely-on-women/">“female thing”</a>. Younger men’s more inclusive masculine attitudes can allow them to <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">subvert the “rules” of masculinity</a>, express emotion and embrace <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">“bromances”</a>. Men can also connect emotionally with other men through <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">jokes and humour</a> and participating in shared activities <a href="https://theconversation.com/lost-touch-with-friends-during-lockdown-heres-how-to-reconnect-and-let-go-of-toxic-ones-172853">that allow incidental communication</a>, like Men’s Sheds. The following initiatives may well help men broaden their intimate networks beyond the nuclear family. We could:<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239194/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <ul> <li>help men into caring roles through more <a href="https://theconversation.com/loneliness-in-the-workplace-is-greatest-among-men-with-traditional-views-about-being-the-breadwinner-230535">family friendly employment and care-leave policies</a></li> <li>support initiatives such as <a href="https://meninmind.movember.com/">Movember Men in Mind</a> that encourage men to seek help, and improve their emotional expression and support skills</li> <li>encourage partnered, heterosexual men to broaden and diversify their intimate networks beyond the nuclear family bubble, and be more inclusive of single men, single fathers, and LGBTQIA+ people. <a href="https://thephn.com.au/news/the-mens-table-successful-mental-health-initiative-expanding-across-seven-new-regions">Men’s Table initiatives</a> could be of great value here</li> <li>encourage the development of more online <a href="https://theconversation.com/he-is-always-there-to-listen-friendships-between-young-men-are-more-than-just-beers-and-banter-200301">safe spaces</a> to form intimate bonds while avoiding toxic online masculine spaces.</li> </ul> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/roger-patulny-94836">Roger Patulny</a>, Professor, Academy of Geography, Sociology and International Studies, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/hong-kong-baptist-university-2801">Hong Kong Baptist University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/happy-wives-happy-social-lives-men-are-more-emotionally-disconnected-than-women-what-can-be-done-about-it-239194">original article</a>. </div>

Mind

Expert shares best destinations for solo female travellers

At 63 years old, Christina Ford is a seasoned traveller, with most of her travels being done alone. After exploring dozens of countries with just her own company, Ford has shared her tips on where to go and how to stay safe for other women who are contemplating seeing the world by themselves. When asked for her favourite destinations for solo female travellers, Ford told <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-13865159/solo-travel-tips-women-best-countries-italy-canada.html">MailOnline</a> that there are two places she will also recommend. She said, “I am a huge fan of Italy and have travelled there extensively. My favourite solo place is Cinque Terre, five ancient fishing villages connected by sea, train or hiking. It's the perfect combination of healthy living, gorgeous vistas and fabulous food.” Christina also recommends her home country of Canada as “great for solo travellers”, explaining, “If you prefer something more urban, Toronto is a fantastic choice. Often described as New York run by the Swiss, it’s a great food town with safe and clean public transit. As a solo traveller, it’s easy to get a single ticket for a Broadway-style show.” “Canada is generally a safe country filled with friendly people who will gladly point you in the right direction - and probably apologise if you get lost. But part of the fun and growth of travelling is allowing yourself to get lost!” Christina went on to emphasise that “safety is crucial” for solo women travellers, and recommended to always carry a phone charger as “you never know where the day could take you” and sharing your live location with a friend or family member can provide peace of mind. She also always pins her hotel's location on Google Maps and advises “using your common sense” around “sketchy areas”, and also recommends not travelling anywhere without travel insurance. After falling in love with travelling solo, Christina wants to share how valuable travelling alone is, and urges women not to be dissuaded by seeing the world if you don’t have a companion. She said, “There are so many fabulous things about travelling solo. You’re on your own schedule, doing what you want to do. Your time is your own, and you can pivot at any moment.” “And you meet new people. Far more than if you were travelling with someone. Plus, you learn how capable you are. I’ve learned more about myself travelling alone than at almost any other time - it’s amazing discovering what great company you are!” Image credits: Instagram

Travel Tips

"Super uncomfortable for everyone": Qantas plays R-rated movie for every passenger

Qantas has issued an apology after an R-rated movie was played for every passenger onboard a flight from Sydney to Tokyo. On Saturday, the flight was delayed by an hour due to problems with the in-flight entertainment system, which resulted in cabin crew only being able to play one film on everyone's individual screens. After requests were taken by passengers, the movie Daddio was chosen. The 2023 drama stars Sean Penn and Dakota Johnson as a taxi driver and his passenger as they discuss their relationships, including an affair Johnson’s character had with a married man. One passenger took to Reddit to share their experience of the flight, saying it was "extremely inappropriate", due to scenes of “graphic nudity and a lot of sexting”. “The kind where you could literally read the texts on screen without needing headphones,” the passenger wrote. “It was super uncomfortable for everyone, especially with families and kids on board.” Another passenger said the airline made the switch to Inside Out 2 followed by a New Zealand nature show after playing “40 minutes of penis and boobs”. “These poor kids and the parents because y’all should’ve heard the audible gasps across the plane,” the passenger said. Cabin crew members attempted to fix the screens of those who didn't want to watch the R-rated film, but when this didn't work, resorted to switching the movie entirely. “The movie was clearly not suitable to play for the whole flight and we sincerely apologise to customers for this experience,” a Qantas spokesperson stated. “All screens were changed to a family-friendly movie for the rest of the flight, which is our standard practice for the rare cases where individual movie selection isn’t possible." “We are reviewing how the movie was selected.” Image credits: Shutterstock

Travel Trouble

Meryl Streep advocates for women in powerful UN speech

Meryl Streep has delivered an emotional speech at the United Nations to advocate for the rights of Afghan women and girls. The Hollywood legend attended an event on the sidelines of the UN General Assembly in a bid to get world leaders to focus on the plight of women in Afghanistan and the future female generations. "The way that ... this society has been upended is a cautionary tale for the rest of the world," she began. Streep's speech was prompted by the three-year mark since the Taliban seized power in Afghanistan, when United States-led forces withdrew after 20 years of war. The UN has since tried to find a unified global approach to dealing with the Taliban, who have cracked down on women's rights., with women now barred from receiving an education of any kind, and women not allowed to leave their homes without a male guardian. "Today in Kabul a female cat has more freedoms than a woman. A cat may go sit on her front stoop and feel the sun on her face. She may chase a squirrel into the park. A squirrel has more rights than a girl in Afghanistan today, because the public parks have been closed to women and girls." <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/MerylStreep?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#MerylStreep</a>: Today, in Kabul a female cat has more freedoms than a woman <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Afghanistan?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Afghanistan</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/Taliban_times?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@Taliban_times</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Taliban?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Taliban</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/UNGA79?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#UNGA79</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/amanpour?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@amanpour</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/VP?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@VP</a> <a href="https://t.co/6grjX0IBzE">pic.twitter.com/6grjX0IBzE</a> — PassBlue (@pass_blue) <a href="https://twitter.com/pass_blue/status/1838385555265970437?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 24, 2024</a></blockquote> "A bird may sing in Kabul, but a girl may not and a woman may not in public. This is extraordinary," Streep said. The UN Secretary-General António Guterres said at the event, "Without educated women, without women in employment, including in leadership roles, and without recognising the rights and freedoms of one-half of its population, Afghanistan will never take its rightful place on the global stage." Streep's speech made waves online, with many praising her for using her celebrity platform to bring awareness to the issue. One person wrote on Instagram, "I love when global stars actually use their literal voices to bring awareness and attention to such important matters. None of us are free until all of us are free." Image credits: OLGA FEDOROVA/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock Editorial

Legal

200-year-old message in a bottle unearthed

In a discovery that has the archaeology world buzzing (and possibly rolling its ancient eyes), a team of student volunteers in northern France has unearthed something rather unexpected during their dig at a Gaulish village. While they were hoping for the usual – ancient pottery shards, perhaps a coin or two – they instead stumbled upon what can only be described as the 19th-century equivalent of a DM in a bottle. The scene played out like a low-budget historical drama: volunteers painstakingly sifting through centuries-old dirt on the cliff-tops near Dieppe when, voilà! They found an earthenware pot containing a small glass vial, like something you might see in a vintage pharmacy, but with fewer essential oils and more existential surprises. Guillaume Blondel, the team leader and head of the archaeological service for the nearby town of Eu, was immediately intrigued. “It was the kind of vial that women used to wear around their necks containing smelling salts,” he explained, before casually dropping the bombshell: inside the vial was a note. Cue dramatic music. After what we can only assume was a long, suspenseful pause, Blondel and his team opened the note, which turned out to be written by none other than P.J. Féret, a 19th-century intellectual who clearly had a flair for both excavation and theatrics. The note, written with all the panache of a man who had just unearthed Caesar’s salad fork, read: "P.J. Féret, a native of Dieppe, member of various intellectual societies, carried out excavations here in January 1825. He continues his investigations in this vast area known as the Cité de Limes or Caesar’s Camp." Naturally, Blondel was floored. “It was an absolutely magic moment,” he said, no doubt imagining Féret winking at him from the beyond. “We knew there had been excavations here in the past, but to find this message from 200 years ago? It was a total surprise.” Local records confirm that P.J. Féret was indeed the real deal. He wasn’t just a dabbler in dirt – he was a notable dabbler in dirt who had conducted an earlier dig at the site in 1825. In a stroke of irony not lost on Blondel, he mused, “Most archaeologists prefer to think that there won’t be anyone coming after them because they’ve done all the work.” Féret, however, clearly believed in leaving a trail of breadcrumbs – or, in this case, a literal note in a bottle, just to remind future archaeologists that he got there first. Féret: 1, Modern Archaeology: 0. Of course, this whole affair raises some important questions: Did Féret expect someone to find this? Did he laugh to himself as he buried it, imagining Blondel’s reaction? Did Féret know how cliff erosion would eventually turn his humble Gaulish village into a treasure trove for future archaeologists? Or was he simply trolling them from the past? Whatever the case, Féret’s note may not have contained ancient secrets, but it certainly delivered some 19th-century sass. And if we’ve learned anything from this dig, it’s this: archaeology isn’t just about discovering the past – it’s also about being occasionally roasted by it. As Blondel and his team continue their emergency dig (which was ordered due to cliff erosion eating away at the site like a bad buffet), they’ve already uncovered a number of artefacts, mostly pottery, from around 2,000 years ago. But will any of them have the audacity to leave a note for the archaeologists of 2225? We’ll have to wait and see. In the meantime, Féret is probably laughing somewhere in the afterlife, shaking his head and muttering, “Amateurs”. Images: Guillaume Blondel / Facebook

International Travel

"Absolute breakthrough": New hope in search for Motor Neurone Disease cure

Melbourne researchers are one step closer to finding a cure for Motor Neurone Disease, with the help technology and stem cell research. Scientists at The Florey Institute of Neuroscience and Mental Health have developed a world-first technology that will speed up the drug testing process to help find an effective treatment and maybe even a cure for the disease. New machines at the institute can now help determine whether drugs on the market could be used to treat MND in just weeks, a process which previously took decades. "This is an absolute breakthrough, it's at the cutting edge of technology," Florey MND researcher Professor Brad Turner said. Animal cells were previously used to test the efficacy of MND drugs, but now thanks to more than 100 MND patients who donated their skin cells to the institute, researchers have a library of stem cells to work with. The human stem cells can provide scientists with the full scope of the disease, something that they were previously unable to do with just animal cells. "This is really a game-changer in that we can use their own cells, and we can test drugs directly on their own cells," Florey MND researcher and neurologist Dr Thanuja Dharmadasa said. Large scale screening will commence thanks to a $5 million grant from the Australian Medical Research Future Fund. The research is expected to help people like Phil Camden who has been living with the disease for 10 years. "That's the key to all of us living with MND... we want to do what we can while we can," Camden said. "We know we're not doing it to find a cure for us. We're doing it for those in the future, my grandkids and their children." Scientists believe that medication or a cocktail of drugs tailored specifically to a patient is the way forward when it comes to treating the disease. "Therefore your drug treatments are tailed back to the clinical makeup in the dish and we call that personalised medical treatment," Turner said. Image: Nine News

Caring

Strength training has a range of benefits for women. Here are 4 ways to get into weights

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erin-kelly-1497598">Erin Kelly</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-canberra-865">University of Canberra</a> Picture a gym ten years ago: the weights room was largely a male-dominated space, with women mostly doing cardio exercise. Fast-forward to today and you’re likely to see women of all ages and backgrounds confidently navigating weights equipment. This is more than just anecdotal. According to data from the <a href="https://app.powerbi.com/view?r=eyJrIjoiZGU1YWFhZDgtMmRhZi00YTgyLThhMzItYjc2ODk5NTg0MTg1IiwidCI6IjhkMmUwZjRjLTU1ZjItNGNiMS04ZWU3LWRhNWRkM2ZmMzYwMCJ9">Australian Sports Commission</a>, the number of women <a href="https://www.clearinghouseforsport.gov.au/research/ausplay/results#portal">participating in weightlifting</a> (either competitively or not) grew nearly five-fold between 2016 and 2022. Women are discovering what research has long shown: strength training offers benefits beyond sculpted muscles. <h2>Health benefits</h2> <a href="https://www.womenshealth.gov/a-z-topics/osteoporosis">Osteoporosis</a>, a disease in which the bones become weak and brittle, affects more women than men. Strength training increases <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/fitness/in-depth/strength-training/art-20046670">bone density</a>, a crucial factor for <a href="https://bmcmedicine.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/1741-7015-8-47">preventing osteoporosis</a>, especially for women negotiating menopause. Strength training also improves <a href="http://link.springer.com/10.1007/s40279-015-0379-7">insulin sensitivity</a>, which means your body gets better at using insulin to manage blood sugar levels, reducing the risk of type 2 diabetes. Regular strength training contributes to better <a href="https://doi.org/10.1139/apnm-2020-0245">heart health</a> too. There’s a mental health boost as well. Strength training has been linked to reduced symptoms of <a href="https://doi.org/10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2018.0572">depression</a> and <a href="http://link.springer.com/10.1007/s40279-017-0769-0">anxiety</a>. <h2>Improved confidence and body image</h2> Unlike some forms of exercise where progress can feel elusive, strength training offers clear and tangible measures of success. Each time you add more weight to a bar, you are reminded of your ability to meet your goals and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/2159676X.2019.1634127">conquer challenges</a>. This sense of achievement doesn’t just stay in the gym – it can change how women see themselves. A <a href="https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S1755296623000194">recent study</a> found women who regularly lift weights often feel more empowered to make positive changes in their lives and feel ready to face life’s challenges outside the gym. Strength training also has the potential to positively impact <a href="https://journals.lww.com/nsca-jscr/abstract/2002/11000/Relations_of_Strength_Training_to_Body_Image_Among.25.aspx">body image</a>. In a world where women are often judged on appearance, lifting weights can shift the focus <a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0193732502238256">to function</a>. Instead of worrying about the number on the scale or fitting into a certain dress size, women often come to appreciate their bodies for what they can do. “Am I lifting more than I could last month?” and “can I carry all my groceries in a single trip?” may become new measures of physical success. Lifting weights can also be about challenging outdated ideas of how women “should” be. Qualitative <a href="https://journals.humankinetics.com/view/journals/wspaj/aop/article-10.1123-wspaj.2022-0088/article-10.1123-wspaj.2022-0088.xml">research</a> I conducted with colleagues found that, for many women, strength training becomes a powerful form of rebellion against unrealistic beauty standards. As one participant told us: <blockquote> I wanted something that would allow me to train that just didn’t have anything to do with how I looked. </blockquote> Society has long told women to be small, quiet and not take up space. But when a woman steps up to a barbell, she’s pushing back against these outdated rules. One woman in our study said: <blockquote> We don’t have to […] look a certain way, or […] be scared that we can lift heavier weights than some men. Why should we? </blockquote> This shift in mindset helps women see themselves differently. Instead of worrying about being objects for others to look at, they begin to see their bodies as capable and strong. Another participant explained: <blockquote> Powerlifting changed my life. It made me see myself, or my body. My body wasn’t my value, it was the vehicle that I was in to execute whatever it was that I was executing in life. </blockquote> This newfound confidence often spills over into other areas of life. As one woman said: <blockquote> I love being a strong woman. It’s like going against the grain, and it empowers me. When I’m physically strong, everything in the world seems lighter. </blockquote> <h2>Feeling inspired? Here’s how to get started</h2> 1. Take things slow Begin with bodyweight exercises like squats, lunges and push-ups to build a foundation of strength. Once you’re comfortable, add external weights, but keep them light at first. Focus on mastering <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-are-compound-exercises-and-why-are-they-good-for-you-228385">compound movements</a>, such as deadlifts, squats and overhead presses. These exercises engage multiple joints and muscle groups simultaneously, making your workouts more efficient. 2. Prioritise proper form Always prioritise proper form over lifting heavier weights. Poor technique can lead to injuries, so learning the correct way to perform each exercise is crucial. To help with this, consider working with an exercise professional who can provide personalised guidance and ensure you’re performing exercises correctly, at least initially. 3. Consistency is key Like any fitness regimen, consistency is key. Two to three sessions a week are plenty for most women to see benefits. And don’t be afraid to occupy space in the weights room – remember you belong there just as much as anyone else. 4. Find a community Finally, join a community. There’s nothing like being surrounded by a group of strong women to inspire and motivate you. Engaging with a supportive community can make your strength-training journey more enjoyable and rewarding, whether it’s an in-person class or an online forum. <h2>Are there any downsides?</h2> Gym memberships can be expensive, especially for specialist weightlifting gyms. Home equipment is an option, but quality barbells and weightlifting equipment can come with a hefty price tag. Also, for women juggling work and family responsibilities, finding time to get to the gym two to three times per week can be challenging. If you’re concerned about getting too “bulky”, it’s very difficult for <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epub/10.1177/0031512520967610">women</a> to bulk up like male bodybuilders without pharmaceutical assistance. The main risks come from poor technique or trying to lift too much too soon – issues that can be easily avoided with some guidance.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221307/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/erin-kelly-1497598">Erin Kelly</a>, Lecturer and PhD Candidate, Discipline of Sport and Exercise Science, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-canberra-865">University of Canberra</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/strength-training-has-a-range-of-benefits-for-women-here-are-4-ways-to-get-into-weights-221307">original article</a>. </div>

Body

"Oh my god!": Natalya Diehm wins Australia's first women's BMX medal

Natalya Diehm has become the first Australian woman to win an Olympic medal in BMX Freestyle. Fans witnessed the moment the 26-year-old found out that she had won the Bronze medal, as she was filming a live story on Instagram. Diehm was sharing footage of fellow BMX competitor, Hannah Roberts on the track, when Paris 2024 officials made the announcement that she had scored higher. "Oh my god! oh my god!" the Olympian screamed as her teammates embraced her in the moments that followed. She placed third with a final score of 88.80. "I have dreamt of this moment for so long and I felt it all week, I was like 'I know I'm third, I know I'm going to make it on that podium," Diehm told Nine. "I wanted this so bad, I don't know else to say, I can't believe it. This is the first medal I have ever got in an international competition and what better way to do it than at the Paris 2024 Olympics." After her Olympic debut at the Tokyo 2020 Games, the athlete has suffered with a few injuries over the past few years, with her having to undergo six ACL surgeries and two shoulder surgeries. Following her win she has encouraged any aspiring athletes who may be struggling physically or mentally, to not give up on their dreams. "There is always light at the end of the tunnel, when you feel like there is not, keep pushing," she said. "I had full belief in myself and as long as you have that, you have hope and the world is going to keep on spinning, every day it will keep on going and you will keep getting better. "Have the belief and trust in yourself and you can get anything done." Images: Instagram

“Don’t marry him”: Bride-to-be shares wild altercation with her future in-laws over her wedding dress

A woman has been told to “run” from her fiancé after sharing a wild conversation she had with her future in-laws about her wedding dress. The bride-to-be shared that ever since she was a child, she wanted to wear her mother’s wedding dress on her own big day. However, the woman was then confronted by her soon-to-be in-laws, with drama ensuing over her wedding dress. Taking to Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole?” page, the woman explained, "My mother's wedding dress has been passed down for generations and I remember being a little girl dreaming of walking down the aisle in it." Despite her wishes to wear the family heirloom on her big day, she said things went south at a dinner at her sister-in-law’s (SIL) house when she "tapped her spoon against the glass and said that she had to make a toast." "She then said she would be right back before going into another room and returning with a large plastic bag," the bride continues. "Everyone seemed to be excited but I just felt confused." As she "awkwardly smiled", her SIL opened the bag to reveal her wedding dress from her wedding two years earlier as her in-laws began clapping, as her future sister-in-law announced she wanted the bride to wear her dress at her upcoming nuptials. "I tried to smile but I guess I didn't do a good job of hiding my disappointment and everyone began asking me what was wrong," the bride-to-be continues, adding that she tried to explain that she wanted to wear her mother's wedding dress. At this point, her SIL began to cry and her in-laws began berating her, causing the bride to burst into tears and run outside. "My fiancé didn't even come after me and after crying my eyes out on the steps for what felt like hours, he finally came outside and yelled at me to get into the car," she says. Confused, she got into the car only for her fiancé to berate her for making "such a big scene" leaving him feeling "embarrassed in front of his family." "He sounds so mad and he even said he couldn't believe he chose to marry such a 'bitchy c--t' (his exact words)." The woman tried to explain how important it was to her to wear her mother's dress and that she had already promised her mother she would be wearing it on her big day. "I felt like my fiancé's family planned this and put me on the spot thinking I wouldn't stand up for myself and just agree to wear SIL's dress," she continues. "I don't think I did anything wrong but a part of me thinks I should have just gone along with it and then told SIL in private that I wouldn't be wearing the dress." Hundreds of people were quick to comment on her post, suggesting that she “run” not only from her in-laws, but from her partner as well. "Ma'am you need to leave that whole family behind including your fiancé," one said. "You just had a peek into your future if you carry on with this relationship." "Don't you dare marry that man!!!" another said. "The problem doesn't exist as the wedding shouldn't be happening anymore," another added. One Redditor suggested she "be thankful that he is showing you who he really is before you marry him." "You have just had a glimpse of what your future is going to look like if you go through with your wedding." Image credits: Shutterstock

Family & Pets

Wellness is not women’s friend. It’s a distraction from what really ails us

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-seers-1131296">Kate Seers</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachel-hogg-321332">Rachel Hogg</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> Wellness is mainly marketed to women. We’re encouraged to eat clean, take <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CYqaatWPxvy/">personal responsibility</a> for our well-being, happiness and life. These are the hallmarks of a strong, independent woman in 2022. But on the eve of International Women’s Day, let’s look closer at this <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-neoliberalism-colonised-feminism-and-what-you-can-do-about-it-94856">neoliberal feminist</a> notion of wellness and personal responsibility – the idea women’s health and well-being depends on our individual choices. We argue wellness is not concerned with actual well-being, whatever wellness “guru” and businesswoman Gwyneth Paltrow <a href="https://goop.com/wellness/">suggests</a>, or influencers say on Instagram. Wellness is an industry. It’s also a seductive distraction from what’s really impacting women’s lives. It glosses over the structural issues undermining women’s well-being. These issues cannot be fixed by drinking a turmeric latte or #livingyourbestlife. <h2>What is wellness?</h2> Wellness <a href="https://globalwellnessinstitute.org/press-room/statistics-and-facts/">is an</a> unregulated US$4.4 trillion global industry due to reach almost $7 trillion by 2025. It promotes self-help, self-care, fitness, nutrition and spiritual practice. It <a href="https://globalwellnessinstitute.org/what-is-wellness/">encourages</a> good choices, intentions and actions. Wellness is alluring because it feels empowering. Women are left with a sense of control over their lives. It is particularly alluring in times of great uncertainty and limited personal control. These might be during a relationship break up, when facing financial instability, workplace discrimination or a global pandemic. But wellness is not all it seems. <h2>Wellness blames women</h2> Wellness implies women are flawed and need to be fixed. It demands women resolve their psychological distress, improve their lives and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1360780418769673?journalCode=sroa">bounce back from adversity</a>, regardless of personal circumstances. Self-responsibility, self-empowerment and self-optimisation underpin how women are expected to think and behave. As such, wellness <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CZs2iIxrSwb/">patronises women</a> and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CT3bw_Yhsp6/">micro-manages their daily schedules</a> with journaling, skin care routines, 30-day challenges, meditations, burning candles, yoga and lemon water. Wellness encourages women to improve their appearance through diet and exercise, manage <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CZ7IO7qJHZ_/">their surroundings</a>, <a href="https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/5489-female-leadership-advice.html">performance at work</a> and their capacity to <a href="https://www.apa.org/topics/covid-19/working-women-balance">juggle the elusive work-life balance</a> as well as <a href="https://medium.com/authority-magazine/having-a-positive-mental-attitude-and-thinking-process-is-a-successful-key-to-healthy-wellbeing-ae11e303969c">their emotional responses</a> <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">to these pressures</a>. They do this with support from costly life coaches, psychotherapists and self-help guides. Wellness demands women <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CaFc2o7OHSf/">focus on their body</a>, with one’s body a measure of their commitment to the task of wellness. Yet this ignores how much these choices and actions cost. Newsreader and journalist Tracey Spicer <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CaDh28nBp4k/">says</a> she has spent more than A$100,000 over the past 35 years for her hair to “look acceptable” at work. Wellness keeps women <a href="https://www.hercampus.com/school/bu/the-male-gazes-effect-from-beauty-ideals-to-mental-health/">focused on their appearance</a> and keeps them spending. It’s also <a href="https://medium.com/artfullyautistic/the-dark-reality-of-wellness-culture-and-ableism-307307fcdafb">ableist</a>, <a href="https://www.byrdie.com/wellness-industry-whitewashing-5074880">racist</a>, <a href="https://msmagazine.com/2020/07/16/tools-of-the-patriarchy-diet-culture-and-how-we-all-perpetuate-the-stigma/">sexist</a>, <a href="https://www.self.com/topic/anti-aging">ageist</a> and <a href="https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/on-the-inside/422517/the-pursuit-of-wellness-wellness-is-for-the-wealthy">classist</a>. It’s aimed at an ideal of young women, thin, white, middle-class and able-bodied. <h2>But we can’t live up to these ideals</h2> Wellness assumes women have equal access to time, energy and money to meet these ideals. If you don’t, “<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/may/08/the-self-help-cult-of-resilience-teaches-australians-nothing">you’re just not trying hard enough</a>”. Wellness also <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1360780418769673?journalCode=sroa">implores women</a> to be “adaptable and positive”. If an individual’s #positivevibes and wellness are seen as <a href="https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-should-say-no-to-positivity-and-yes-to-our-negative-emotions/">morally good</a>, then it becomes morally necessary for women to engage in behaviours framed as “investments” or “self-care”. For those who do not achieve self-optimisation (hint: most of us) this is a personal, shameful failing. <h2>Wellness distracts us</h2> When women believe they are to blame for their circumstances, it hides structural and cultural inequities. Rather than questioning the culture that marginalises women and produces feelings of doubt and inadequacy, wellness provides solutions in the form of superficial empowerment, confidence and resilience. Women don’t need wellness. They are unsafe. <a href="https://www.ourwatch.org.au/quick-facts/">Women are</a> <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/crime-and-justice/personal-safety-australia/latest-release">more likely</a> to be murdered by a current or former intimate partner, with reports of the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-governments-can-do-about-the-increase-in-family-violence-due-to-coronavirus-135674">pandemic increasing</a> the risk and severity of <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/dec/01/the-worst-year-domestic-violence-soars-in-australia-during-covid-19">domestic violence</a>. Women are more likely to be employed in unstable <a href="https://lighthouse.mq.edu.au/article/april-2020/Pandemics-economic-blow-hits-women-hard">casualised labour, and experience economic hardship and poverty</a>. Women are also bearing the brunt <a href="https://grattan.edu.au/report/womens-work/">of the economic fallout from COVID</a>. Women are more likely to be juggling a career with <a href="https://www.bmj.com/content/374/bmj.n1972">unpaid domestic duties</a> and more likely <a href="https://www.mercyfoundation.com.au/our-focus/ending-homelessness/older-women-and-homelessness/">to be homeless</a> as they near retirement age. In their book <a href="https://www.dukeupress.edu/confidence-culture#:%7E:text=They%20argue%20that%20while%20confidence,responsible%20for%20their%20own%20conditions.">Confidence Culture</a> UK scholars Shani Orgad and Rosalind Gill argue hashtags such as #loveyourbody and #believeinyourself imply psychological blocks, rather than entrenched social injustices, are what hold women back. <h2>What we should be doing instead</h2> Wellness, with its self-help rhetoric, <a href="http://www.consultmcgregor.com/documents/research/neoliberalism_and_health_care.pdf">absolves the government</a> of responsibility to provide transformative and effectual action that ensures women are safe, delivered justice, and treated with respect and dignity. Structural inequity was not created by an individual, and it will not be solved by an individual. So this International Women’s Day, try to resist the neoliberal requirement to take personal responsibility for your wellness. Lobby governments to address structural inequities instead. <a href="https://www.mindful.org/why-women-should-embrace-their-anger/">Follow your anger</a>, not your bliss, call out injustices when you can. And in the words of sexual assault survivor and advocate Grace Tame, “make some noise”. <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-seers-1131296">Kate Seers</a>, PhD Candidate, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/rachel-hogg-321332">Rachel Hogg</a>, Lecturer in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/charles-sturt-university-849">Charles Sturt University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/wellness-is-not-womens-friend-its-a-distraction-from-what-really-ails-us-177446">original article</a>. </div>

Mind

4 anti-ageing mistakes most women make

While there’s no denying it, wrinkles are just part of the natural ageing process, there are some mistakes we all make that will speed up the ageing process. So if you want to keep your youthful glow for longer, be sure to avoid these beauty blunders. Skipping sunscreen READ CAREFULLY: Sunscreen IS THE ultimate anti-ageing tool. Even when it’s not beach-worthy weather outside, but the sun’s UV rays can still damage your skin. This is namely photoageing, the wrinkling, spotting and loss of elasticity caused by exposure to sun. So as part of your daily routine, make sure you slip, slap, slop. Rubbing tired eyes While we’re all guilty of this seemingly harmful action, did you know that simply rubbing your eyes will stretch delicate skin and may cause it to slacken? The skin around our eyes and on our eyelids is the most sensitive and least elastic on our face and the most vulnerable... so keep your fingers away. Skimping on sunglasses As well as being a fashionable accessory, sunglasses also do wonders to minimize lines around your eyes. Shading your eyes from the sun’s glare prevents squinting and crow's feet wrinkles, of course, but it also shields delicate skin from the destructive onslaught of UV rays. Make sure you opt for a pair with UV protection. Neglecting your neck, chest and hands The delicate skin of these areas lack the oil glands of other areas of skin, which results in dryness and accelerated aging. Plus, these areas are often fraught with sunscreen neglect. As well as remembering to apply sunscreen to these areas you should also pay attention to them by applying an anti-ageing serum. Image credits: Shutterstock

Beauty & Style

How one widow has changed how women solo travel

After Yvonne Vickers' husband passed away in 2014, she thought her opportunities to travel and see the world had slipped away. Yvonne had always been a keen traveller and went on trips with her married friends after becoming a widow, but she "got over being the third wheel", she admitted to <a href="https://travel.nine.com.au/latest/cruising-solo-female-older-passengers/9553953c-84e8-418a-9c2b-8c9b847b9ba4" target="_blank" rel="noopener">9Travel</a>. Still wanting to see the world on her own terms, Yvonne took to Facebook where she created a group seeking like-minded women who share her passion for adventure. Now, the Find A Female Cruise or Travel Buddy is an ever-growing group that has connected thousands of women looking for travel companions. Whether they're single, widowed, or just married to someone who doesn't want to travel, the group is open to women across the globe to join. Thanks to her newfound community, Yvonne has taken 41 cruises and dozens of land trips since her husband's death, all while making friends for life, and the rest of the group's members are in the same boat. "It's wonderful to get feedback from ladies saying that it's helped to change their life," Yvonne said. "That's the rewarding part of it for me." Members can make a post in the group, detailing a cruise sailing or trip that they have their eye on booking, to see if anyone else would like to join them. "We have a lot of widows in our group who are cashed up and want to travel but don't have anyone to travel with or share their experiences with," Yvonne said. "The group gives them the opportunity to be able to do that." "There are also a lot of ladies who are married but their husbands don't want to travel. It gives them the opportunity to be able to travel." Yvonne says that cruising is a perfect way for older females to travel, especially if they're on their own. "It's a really safe way to travel as a solo female," she says, also noting that it's an easy way to get around and see places. Recently, she did a 35-day trip around Hawaii with a group of women from the group. For the Find A Female Cruise or Travel Buddy group, there's even more fun trips on the horizon. Yvonne just came back from a trip to Japan with 14 group members, and is heading to Bali in August with a friend she made through the group. Image credits: Nine News \ Facebook

Cruising

Longer appointments are just the start of tackling the gender pain gap. Here are 4 more things we can do

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-oshea-457947">Michelle O'Shea</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hannah-adler-1533549">Hannah Adler</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marilla-l-druitt-1533572">Marilla L. Druitt</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mike-armour-391382">Mike Armour</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a> Ahead of the federal budget, health minister Mark Butler <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-05-10/endometriosis-australia-welcomes-govt-funding-for-endometriosis/103830392">last week announced</a> an investment of A$49.1 million to help women with endometriosis and complex gynaecological conditions such as chronic pelvic pain and polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS). From July 1 2025 <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/ministers/the-hon-mark-butler-mp/media/historic-medicare-changes-for-women-battling-endometriosis">two new items</a> will be added to the Medicare Benefits Schedule providing extended consultation times and higher rebates for specialist gynaecological care. The Medicare changes <a href="https://www1.racgp.org.au/newsgp/clinical/longer-consults-for-endometriosis-sufferers-on-the">will subsidise</a> $168.60 for a minimum of 45 minutes during a longer initial gynaecologist consultation, compared to the standard rate of $95.60. For follow-up consultations, Medicare will cover $84.35 for a minimum of 45 minutes, compared to the standard rate of $48.05. Currently, there’s <a href="https://www9.health.gov.au/mbs/fullDisplay.cfm?type=item&q=104&qt=item&criteria=104">no specified time</a> for these initial or subsequent consultations. But while reductions to out-of-pocket medical expenses and extended specialist consultation times are welcome news, they’re only a first step in closing the gender pain gap. <h2>Chronic pain affects more women</h2> Globally, research has shown chronic pain (generally defined as pain that persists for <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/chronic-pain">more than three months</a>) disproportionately affects <a href="https://academic.oup.com/bja/article/111/1/52/331232?login=false">women</a>. Multiple biological and psychosocial processes likely contribute to this disparity, often called the gender pain gap. For example, chronic pain is frequently associated with conditions influenced by <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0304395914003868">hormones</a>, among other factors, such as endometriosis and <a href="https://theconversation.com/adenomyosis-causes-pain-heavy-periods-and-infertility-but-youve-probably-never-heard-of-it-104412">adenomyosis</a>. Chronic pelvic pain in women, regardless of the cause, can be debilitating and <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-73389-2">negatively affect</a> every facet of life from social activities, to work and finances, to mental health and relationships. The gender pain gap is both rooted in and compounded by gender bias in medical research, treatment and social norms. The science that informs medicine – including the prevention, diagnosis, and treatment of disease – has traditionally focused on men, thereby <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/apr/30/fda-clinical-trials-gender-gap-epa-nih-institute-of-medicine-cardiovascular-disease">failing to consider</a> the crucial impact of sex (biological) and gender (social) factors. When medical research adopts a “male as default” approach, this limits our understanding of pain conditions that predominantly affect women or how certain conditions affect men and women <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10921746/">differently</a>. It also means intersex, trans and gender-diverse people are <a href="https://www.deakin.edu.au/about-deakin/news-and-media-releases/articles/world-class-centre-tackles-sex-and-gender-inequities-in-health-and-medicine">commonly excluded</a> from medical research and health care. Minimisation or dismissal of pain along with the <a href="https://www.hindawi.com/journals/ecam/2016/3467067/">normalisation of menstrual pain</a> as just “part of being a woman” contribute to significant delays and misdiagnosis of women’s gynaecological and other health issues. Feeling dismissed, along with perceptions of stigma, can make women less likely <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s12905-024-03063-6">to seek help</a> in the future. <h2>Inadequate medical care</h2> Unfortunately, even when women with endometriosis do seek care, many <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/imj.15494?saml_referrer">aren’t satisfied</a>. This is understandable when medical advice includes being told to become pregnant to treat their <a href="https://bmcwomenshealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12905-023-02794-2">endometriosis</a>, despite <a href="https://academic.oup.com/humupd/article/24/3/290/4859612?login=false">no evidence</a> pregnancy reduces symptoms. Pregnancy should be an autonomous choice, not a treatment option. It’s unsurprising people look for information from other, often <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2227-9032/12/1/121">uncredentialed</a>, sources. While online platforms including patient-led groups have provided women with new avenues of support, these forums should complement, rather than replace, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1460458215602939">information from a doctor</a>. Longer Medicare-subsidised appointments are an important acknowledgement of women and their individual health needs. At present, many women feel their consultations with a gynaecologist are <a href="https://www1.racgp.org.au/newsgp/clinical/longer-consults-for-endometriosis-sufferers-on-the">rushed</a>. These conversations, which often include coming to terms with a diagnosis and management plan, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1496869/">take time</a>. <h2>A path toward less pain</h2> While extended consultation time and reduced out-of-pocket costs are a step in the right direction, they are only one part of a complex pain puzzle. If women are not listened to, their symptoms not recognised, and effective treatment options not adequately discussed and provided, longer gynaecological consultations may not help patients. So what else do we need to do? 1. Physician knowledge Doctors’ knowledge of women’s pain requires development through both practitioner <a href="https://health-policy-systems.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12961-022-00815-4/tables/2">education and guidelines</a>. This knowledge should also include dedicated efforts toward understanding the <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/07/02/the-neuroscience-of-pain">neuroscience of pain</a>. Diagnostic processes should be tailored to consider gender-specific symptoms and responses to <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/eclinm/article/PIIS2589-5370(24)00137-8/fulltext">pain</a>. 2. Research and collaboration Medical decisions should be based on the best and most inclusive evidence. Understanding the complexities of pain in women is essential for managing their pain. Collaboration between health-care experts from different disciplines can facilitate comprehensive and holistic pain research and management strategies. 3. Further care and service improvements Women’s health requires multidisciplinary treatment and care which extends beyond their GP or specialist. For example, conditions like endometriosis often see people presenting to emergency departments in <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/chronic-disease/endometriosis-in-australia/contents/treatment-management/ed-presentations">acute pain</a>, so practitioners in these settings need to have the right knowledge and be able to provide support. Meanwhile, pelvic ultrasounds, especially the kind that have the potential to visualise endometriosis, take longer to perform and require a <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0015028223020757/">specialist sonographer</a>. Current rebates do not reflect the time and expertise needed for these imaging procedures. 4. Adjusting the parameters of ‘women’s pain’ Conditions like PCOS and endometriosis don’t just affect women – they also impact people who are gender-diverse. Improving how people in this group are treated is just as salient as addressing how we treat women. Similarly, the gynaecological health-care needs of culturally and linguistically diverse and Aboriginal and Torres Strait islander women may be even <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/20/13/6321">less likely to be met</a> than those of women in the general population. <h2>Challenging gender norms</h2> Research suggests one of the keys to reducing the gender pain gap is challenging deeply embedded <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29682130/">gendered norms</a> in clinical practice and research. We are hearing women’s suffering. Let’s make sure we are also listening and responding in ways that close the gender pain gap.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/229802/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/michelle-oshea-457947">Michelle O'Shea</a>, Senior Lecturer, School of Business, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/hannah-adler-1533549">Hannah Adler</a>, PhD candidate, health communication and health sociology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/griffith-university-828">Griffith University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marilla-l-druitt-1533572">Marilla L. Druitt</a>, Affiliate Senior Lecturer, Faculty of Health, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/deakin-university-757">Deakin University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/mike-armour-391382">Mike Armour</a>, Associate Professor at NICM Health Research Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/western-sydney-university-1092">Western Sydney University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/longer-appointments-are-just-the-start-of-tackling-the-gender-pain-gap-here-are-4-more-things-we-can-do-229802">original article</a>. </div>

Body

"It's up to men": Anthony Albanese joins violence against women rally

Anthony Albanese has joined a rally in Canberra to protest the recent spate of acts of violence against women, admitting his government hasn't "done enough" to ensure Aussie women are protected. Addressing the 5,000-strong crowd at Parliament House, Mr Albanese delivered a fiery speech, demanding nationwide change to all levels of Australian society and asking protesters to hold him “accountable” for his government’s actions. Mr Albanese said Australia needed to change its “culture”, “attitudes” and “legal system” to end the scourge of violence against women that has already allegedly claimed the lives of 26 women this year. “We’re here today to demand that governments of all levels, must do better, including my own, and every state and territory government,” he said. “We’re here as well to say that society, and Australia, must do better. We need to change the culture, we need to change attitudes, we need to change the legal system." Mr Albanese spoke about some of the actions his government had taken to address the problem, including the introduction of domestic violence payments. A protester interrupted, saying “it’s not enough”. The prime minister replied, “I agree it’s not enough. I said that. We need to do more.” Mr Albanese finished his speech by calling the problem a “national crisis” and said one or two months of funding would not be enough to solve it. “It’s up to men to change men’s behaviour as well,” he said. “Yes, people do need to be made accountable and I’ll be accountable for what my government does.” Thousands took to the grounds of Parliament House on Sunday to listen to Albanese's address, where one of the event organisers Sarah Williams from the company WWYW (What Were You Wearing?), claims the Prime Minister lied to the crowd at the start of his stirring speech. In his speech in the afternoon, Mr Albanese suggested he had asked the rally organisers for permission to speak but had been knocked back. “We did ask to speak, myself and (Finance minister) Katy (Gallagher) and we were told that’s not possible,” he said to the 5000 strong crowd. “And that’s fine, we respect the organisers’ right to do that.” However, Ms Williams took to social media after the event to say the Prime Minister had "lied to the country". “The Prime Minister of Australia lied to his country today,” she began. “Representatives from (Finance Minister Katy) Gallagher and Albanese’s offices both said this morning that they were sure Katy would be happy to speak. Not the Prime Minister.” “He never asked to speak. For him to not only demand he speak because he was being heckled, but lie was disgraceful." “He demonstrated today what entitlement looks like. A man with power trying to diminish a vulnerable young woman.” In an awkward and tense exchange, Ms Williams then demanded the politicians show their commitment to the organisation’s demands, and declare that the recent spate of murders of women by men was a national emergency. However, the Labor ministers appeared non-responsive and confused, initially refusing to front the rally, a move which brought boos and heckling from the audience. “Why are you even here?” one protester yelled from the crowd. “Shame on you,” shouted another. Image credits: Getty Images / Instagram

Caring

How tracking menopause symptoms can give women more control over their health

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/deborah-lancastle-1452267">Deborah Lancastle</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-wales-1586">University of South Wales</a> Menopause can cause more symptoms than hot flushes alone. And some of your symptoms and reactions might be due to the menopause, even if you are still having periods. Research shows that keeping track of those symptoms can help to alleviate them. People sometimes talk about the menopause as though it were a single event that happens when you are in your early 50s, which is <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/menopause/symptoms-causes/syc-20353397#:%7E:text=Menopause%20is%20the%20time%20that,is%20a%20natural%20biological%20process.">the average time</a> to have your last period. But the menopause generally stretches between the ages of 45 and 55. And some women will experience an earlier “medical” menopause because of surgery to remove the womb or ovaries. The menopause often happens at one of the busiest times of life. You might have teenagers at home or be supporting grown-up children, have elderly parents, be employed and have a great social life. If you feel exhausted, hot and bothered, irritable and can’t sleep well, you might be tempted to think that it is because you never get a minute’s peace. But that is why monitoring symptoms is important. <a href="https://journals.lww.com/menopausejournal/Abstract/2023/03000/Symptom_monitoring_improves_physical_and_emotional.7.aspx">My team recently tested</a> the effects of tracking symptoms and emotions during the menopause. We asked women to rate 30 physical and 20 emotional symptoms of the menopause. The physical and psychological symptoms included poor concentration, problems with digesting food, stress and itchy skin, as well as the obvious symptoms like hot flushes and night sweats. Women tracked positive emotions like happiness and contentment, and negative emotions like feeling sad, isolated and angry. There were two groups of women in this study. One group recorded their symptoms and emotions every day for two weeks. The other group recorded their symptoms and emotions once at the beginning of the fortnight and once at the end. The results showed that the women who monitored their symptoms and emotions every day reported much lower negative emotions, physical symptoms and loneliness at the end of two weeks than at the beginning, compared to the other group. As well as this, although the loneliness scores of the group who monitored every day were lower than the other group, women in both groups said that being in the study and thinking about symptoms helped them feel less lonely. Simply knowing that other women were having similar experiences seemed to help. One participant said: “I feel more normal that other women are doing the same survey and are probably experiencing similar issues, especially the emotional and mental ones.” <h2>Why does monitoring symptoms help?</h2> One reason why tracking might help is that rating symptoms can help you notice changes and patterns in how you feel. This could encourage you to seek help. Another reason is that noticing changes in symptoms might help you link the change to what you have been doing. For example, looking at whether symptoms spike after eating certain foods or are better after exercise. This could mean that you change your behaviour in ways that improve your symptoms. Many menopause symptoms are known as “non-specific” symptoms. This is because they can also be symptoms of mental health, thyroid or heart problems. It is important not to think your symptoms are “just” the menopause. You should always speak to your doctor if you are worried about your health. Another good thing about monitoring symptoms is that you can take information about how often you experience symptoms and how bad they are to your GP appointment. This can help the doctor decide what might be the problem. Websites such as <a href="https://healthandher.com">Health and Her</a> and <a href="https://www.balance-menopause.com">Balance</a> offer symptom monitoring tools that can help you track what is happening to your physical and emotional health. There are several apps you can use on your phone, too. Or you might prefer to note symptoms and how bad they are in a notebook every day.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/209004/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/deborah-lancastle-1452267">Deborah Lancastle</a>, Associate Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-wales-1586">University of South Wales</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-tracking-menopause-symptoms-can-give-women-more-control-over-their-health-209004">original article</a>. </div>

Body

$Placeholder Content Image$

‘Girl math’ may not be smart financial advice, but it could help women feel more empowered with money

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ylva-baeckstrom-1463175">Ylva Baeckstrom</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kings-college-london-1196">King's College London</a> If you’ve ever calculated cost per wear to justify the price of an expensive dress, or felt like you’ve made a profit after returning an ill-fitting pair of jeans, you might be an expert in <a href="https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/girl-maths-tiktok-trend-its-basically-free-b1100504.html">“girl math”</a>. With videos about the topic going viral on social media, girl math might seem like a silly (<a href="https://www.glamourmagazine.co.uk/article/girl-math-womens-spending-taken-seriously">or even sexist</a>) trend, but it actually tells us a lot about the relationship between gender, money and emotions. Girl math introduces a spend classification system: purchases below a certain value, or made in cash, don’t “count”. Psychologically, this makes low-value spending feel safe and emphasises the importance of the long-term value derived from more expensive items. For example, girl math tells us that buying an expensive dress is only “worth it” if you can wear it to multiple events. This approach has similarities to <a href="https://www.investopedia.com/terms/m/modernportfoliotheory.asp">portfolio theory</a> – a method of choosing investments to maximise expected returns and minimise risk. By evaluating how each purchase contributes to the shopping portfolio, girl math shoppers essentially become shopping portfolio managers. <h2>Money and emotions</h2> People of all genders, rich or poor, feel anxious when dealing with their personal finances. Many people in the UK do not understand pensions or saving enough to <a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/workplacepensions/articles/pensionparticipationatrecordhighbutcontributionsclusteratminimumlevels/2018-05-04">afford their retirement</a>. Without motivation to learn, people avoid dealing with money altogether. One way to find this motivation, as girl math shows, is by having an emotional and tangible connection to our finances. On the surface, it may seem that women are being ridiculed and encouraged to overspend by using girl math. From a different perspective, it hints at something critical: for a person to really care about something as seemingly abstract as personal finance, they need to feel that they can relate to it. Thinking about money in terms of the value of purchases can help create an <a href="https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/every-time-i-use-my-card-my-phone-buzzes-and-that-stops-me-shopping-ps0fjx6nj">emotional relationship</a> to finance, making it something people want to look after. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GPzA7B6dcxc?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <h2>The girl math we need</h2> Women are a consumer force to be reckoned with, controlling <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/bridgetbrennan/2015/01/21/top-10-things-everyone-should-know-about-women-consumers/#7679f9d6a8b4">up to 80%</a> of consumer spending globally. The girl math trend is a demonstration of women’s mastery at applying portfolio theory to their shopping, making them investment powerhouses whose potential is overlooked by the financial services industry. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/oct/28/women-paid-less-than-men-over-careers-gender-pay-gap-report">Women are disadvantaged</a> when it comes to money and finance. Women in the UK earn on average £260,000 less than men during their careers and the retirement income of men is twice as high as women’s. As I’ve found in <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Gender-and-Finance-Addressing-Inequality-in-the-Financial-Services-Industry/Baeckstrom/p/book/9781032055572">my research</a> on gender and finance, women have lower financial self-efficacy (belief in their own abilities) compared to men. This is not helped by women feeling patronised when seeking financial advice. Because the world of finance was created by men for men, its language and culture are <a href="https://www.routledge.com/Gender-and-Finance-Addressing-Inequality-in-the-Financial-Services-Industry/Baeckstrom/p/book/9781032055572">intrinsically male</a>. Only in the mid-1970s did women in the UK gain the legal right to open a bank account without a male signature and it was not until 1980 that they could apply for credit independently. With the law now more (<a href="https://www.worldbank.org/en/news/press-release/2023/03/02/pace-of-reform-toward-equal-rights-for-women-falls-to-20-year-low">but not fully</a>) gender equal, the financial services industry has failed to connect with women. Studies show that 49% of women are <a href="https://www.ellevest.com/magazine/disrupt-money/ellevest-financial-wellness-survey">anxious about their finances</a>. However they have not bought into patronising offers and <a href="https://www.fa-mag.com/news/gender-roles-block-female-financial-experience--ubs-says-73531.html">mansplaining by financial advisers</a>. This outdated approach suggests that it is women, rather than the malfunctioning financial system, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/sep/16/women-are-not-financially-illiterate-they-need-more-than-condescending-advice">who need fixing</a>. Women continue to feel that they do not belong to or are able to trust the world of finance. And why would women trust an industry with a <a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/earningsandworkinghours/bulletins/genderpaygapintheuk/2019">gender pay gap</a> of up to 59% and a severe lack of women in senior positions? Girl math on its own isn’t necessarily good financial advice, but if it helps even a handful of women feel more empowered to manage and understand their finances, it should not be dismissed.  <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ylva-baeckstrom-1463175">Ylva Baeckstrom</a>, Senior Lecturer in Finance, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/kings-college-london-1196">King's College London</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/girl-math-may-not-be-smart-financial-advice-but-it-could-help-women-feel-more-empowered-with-money-211780">original article</a>. </div>

Money & Banking

Woman baffled by mother-in-law’s insane ask over baby name

A woman has gone head-to-head with her mother-in-law over the name she has chosen for her unborn child. The pregnant woman took to Reddit to share her unusual predicament, explaining how her mother-in-law has demanded she change the name of her baby. The soon-to-be mum shared how she recently had dinner with her husband’s family, where she decided to reveal the baby’s gender and name. She had been keeping the information secret, but with only a few weeks of her pregnancy left, she decided to share the happy news that she was having a baby boy and had chosen the name Shawn for her son. But not everyone shared her happiness over the moniker, as her mother-in-law went pale with shock and demanded she choose a new name. “My in-laws got quiet for a moment before asking if there were other options we'd considered. Apparently, Shawn is the name of my 17-year-old sister-in-law Ashley's former bully who tormented her [for years],” the pregnant woman explained on Reddit. While she empathised with her in-laws, she didn’t want to change the name as it was the only one her and her husband agreed on for their son. She also explained that she hadn’t known about the family connection when they picked the name, and hadn’t picked it out of any malicious intent. “We took forever to pick a name,” she said. “Shawn is the only one we could agree on.” The dinner party soon ended after the argument began, but the mother-in-law didn’t back down, sending the expecting mum demanding messages. “She texted me and my husband again to ask us to find a new name for Ashley's sake.” “Would I be the a**hole for not wanting to change it? We were only able to agree on it a few weeks ago.” Commenters were torn over the subject, with many rushing to the pregnant woman’s defence, saying she can pick whatever name she wants for her son. “My spouse and sibling have the same name. Somehow, you just compartmentalise it,” one shared. “I feel like if a new baby in my family shared a name with my bully I'd just adapt,” another wrote. “After all, Shawn is a VERY common name, so I can't freak out every time I hear it and survive in this world.” However, a select few sided with the mother-in-law, sharing how stunned they were that the couple couldn't find enough compassion to pick another name. One person said, “I understand the difficulty of finding a name that feels right, but for me, after learning this, Shawn would quickly become another name that didn't work. It's only been decided on it for a few weeks so I'd just go back to the drawing board.” Image credits: Shutterstock

Family & Pets

Why we need to stop being so judgemental – and the 4 steps to do it

As a society, we've become increasingly judgmental. We tend to judge not only others but ourselves as well. From a person's physical appearance to their actions, we criticise and judge everything. Everyone is too fat, too thin, too old, or too young, creating an environment where nothing seems to be good enough. This constant pattern of judgment is now harming our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. When we judge, we compare ourselves to others, leaving us emotionally vulnerable. Through this judgement, we seek to establish a sense of security and control over our lives and surroundings, often without even realising it. However, by increasing our emotional resilience and sense of control, we become consciously aware of this behaviour and can take steps to change it. So, is it possible to become less judgemental? As an educator and researcher, I developed an Emotional Resilience language (ER). It introduces simple changes that can reduce judgment, foster empathy, compassion, and personal responsibility, and bolster emotional intelligence and resilience when integrated into everyday life. Using a driving metaphor, ER simplifies the intricate world of emotions, providing an innovative way to integrate emotional vocabulary into daily life. It enhances understanding and establishes new neural pathways and healthier thought patterns. The following outlines the initial steps of ER, which can effectively manage judgement towards yourself and others. Though the changes may appear simplistic, they are instrumental in establishing lasting transformation. 1. Removing judgement towards how you or others may feel: Instead of labelling emotions as good or bad, view them as rough or smooth emotional roads. Just as roads serve different purposes, so do emotions. Rough emotions build resilience, while smooth emotions promote well-being, removing the need to lift everyone off a rough road. This makes it easier to recognise and accept emotions without feeling like a failure when things aren't going smoothly. You don’t know why someone is on a rough road, so resist the temptation to judge them. 2: The metaphorical steering wheel in ER represents emotional control and the power of choice in navigating life's challenges. As in a car, you should be the only one controlling your emotional steering wheel. Rather than judging yourself and others, this logical approach empowers you to regain control over your focus, emotions, and destination. Just because someone else is on a rough road doesn’t mean you must join them, fostering resilience and responsibility. 3. Shifting judgement and blame to responsibility involves removing phrases such as "You are making me angry, " which inadvertently hands your emotional steering wheel to others. Replace it with, "I am choosing to feel angry in response to this situation." This subtle alteration, substituting "making" with "choosing," helps reclaim ownership of your steering wheel rather than relinquishing control to external factors. Assigning blame—"It's your fault, it's the government's fault, it's my partner’s fault"— leaves you feeling like a victim, and you then resort to judgement and retaliation to regain control. 4. The importance of taking control: Understanding that judgement cannot be contained nor emotional resilience built when you are out of control on either road is crucial. Out-of-control scenarios activate the amygdala, the brain's fight, flight or freeze mode, disabling the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for thinking and creativity. It is only possible to discuss a situation once the involved parties have regained control and can access the thinking part of their brain. Therefore, regaining control is essential for reducing judgement, as then you can have productive discussions that help maintain emotional well-being. This includes your conversations with yourself, which can often be the harshest! ER helps reduce judgement by developing your emotional resilience. Awareness of the emotional state of yourself and others fosters emotional intelligence, while learning to regain control builds resilience. Recognising that navigating rough emotions is crucial for growth alleviates the pressure from always needing to be on a smooth road and judging yourself and others if they aren’t. It shifts focus from dwelling on challenges and comparing yourself to others to being able to understand and manage your responses. Incorporating language changes into daily life builds new neural pathways, creating new thought patterns that reduce judgment and blame. By avoiding the tendency to judge yourself or others, you take back control of your reactions to people and circumstances. This leads to better mental and emotional well-being and fosters positive relationships with yourself and others. Does this mean you will never judge again? Of course not. You’re human. It’s what you do with the judgment that can make all the difference. Dr Jane Foster is a leading educator, researcher, presenter and author of It’s In Your Hands; Your Steering Wheel, Your Choice. Combining her educational skills with neuroscience and positive psychology, Jane equips people with strategies to help build emotional resilience and manage their daily stresses, successfully changing perspective and creating new neural pathways. For more information, visit <a href="https://www.emotionalresiliencetraining.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">www.emotionalresiliencetraining.com.au</a> Image: Getty

Mind

Our Partners

Over 60

News

Shop

Catalogues

Contests

Entertainment

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Property

Games

Information

Keep up to date

Search

Menopause is having a moment. How a new generation of women are shaping cultural attitudes

Lessons we can all learn from the "Forgotten Women"

"Happy wives, happy social lives?" Men are more emotionally disconnected than women – what can be done about it?

Expert shares best destinations for solo female travellers

"Super uncomfortable for everyone": Qantas plays R-rated movie for every passenger

Meryl Streep advocates for women in powerful UN speech

200-year-old message in a bottle unearthed

"Absolute breakthrough": New hope in search for Motor Neurone Disease cure

Strength training has a range of benefits for women. Here are 4 ways to get into weights

"Oh my god!": Natalya Diehm wins Australia's first women's BMX medal

“Don’t marry him”: Bride-to-be shares wild altercation with her future in-laws over her wedding dress

Wellness is not women’s friend. It’s a distraction from what really ails us

4 anti-ageing mistakes most women make

How one widow has changed how women solo travel

Longer appointments are just the start of tackling the gender pain gap. Here are 4 more things we can do

"It's up to men": Anthony Albanese joins violence against women rally

How tracking menopause symptoms can give women more control over their health

‘Girl math’ may not be smart financial advice, but it could help women feel more empowered with money

Woman baffled by mother-in-law’s insane ask over baby name

Why we need to stop being so judgemental – and the 4 steps to do it

Our Partners