Placeholder Content Image

Then and now – how the concept of arranged marriage has changed throughout the years

<p>At the age of 24, Meera Patel had set her sights on finding a husband within a year, and she did exactly that with the help of her parents and the age-old tradition of arranged marriage.</p> <p>Having never dabbled in the world of dating, let alone marriage, the Sydney pharmacy student made sure to keep her expectations realistic. Speaking to the <em><a href="http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-08-15/why-indian-australian-millennials-choosing-arranged-marriage/10113718" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ABC</a></em>, she said that she wasn’t planning on “casting positive thoughts into the universe".</p> <p>As a Gujarati Indian woman, the concept of arranged marriage is common but over the years, it has modernised to become adaptable with today’s society. The method, which is a popular form of matchmaking in South Asia, dates to thousands of years.</p> <p>A study on the <em><a href="https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/politics-and-nation/indian-youth-is-a-strange-mix-of-conservative-and-liberal-attitudes/articleshow/58319013.cms" target="_blank" rel="noopener">youth of India</a></em> conducted in 2016 found that 84 per cent of married couples had an arranged marriage.</p> <p>The tradition – which has a stigma attached to it – has evolved over the past 50 years, according to Nonie Tuxen, a PhD student and resident of Mumbai.</p> <p>“If you speak to a lot of people here in India over the age of, say, 75, many of them did not see or speak to their spouse prior to their wedding,” she said.</p> <p>“Whereas nowadays, young people both here in India, and in the diaspora, have a great deal of say in who they marry.</p> <p>“There’s a lot of confusion about whether an arranged marriage is forced in some way – it never is, forced marriage is an entirely separate issue.</p> <p>“The decision ultimately lies with them … it doesn’t lie with their families.”</p> <p>Which is why, when Meera believed the time was right, she asked her parents to help her find a husband.</p> <p>Meera’s close friend, Hemangini Patel, says that the lines between “love marriages” and arranged marriages are blurring.</p> <p>“I just thought that your parents introduced you to someone and you had to get married in, like, a month,” she says.</p> <p>But according to Hemangini, Meera felt overwhelmed by the world of dating once she had reached her 20s, which is when marriage becomes a commonly spoken about topic amongst the Indian community.</p> <p>“I was doing a Master’s degree which was a two-year course … so [I had] no time to think about anything except for work and studying” says Meera.</p> <p>“I would have no idea where to go and look for a person.</p> <p>“So, when my parents approached me with the idea [of arranged marriage] … I’m like, ‘Yes! You do all the work for me and I’m happy with whatever!'”</p> <p>But Meera was never dreaming about Prince Charming, and her list of expectations in her potential partner had nothing to do with outward appearance, but rather she was focused more on his culture and beliefs.</p> <p>Meera’s Prince had to be Hindu and belong to the BAPS Swaminarayan faith.</p> <p>“I’m very religious, so I wanted someone with the same religious background as me, to make it easier for us to understand each other,” she said.</p> <p>“We have some dietary requirements – we don’t eat onion and garlic, and we’re very strict vegetarians, as well, so I wanted someone who can understand that.”</p> <p>Language was also an important factor that had to be considered. The BAPS Swaminarayan faith, which was established in the east-Indian state of Gujrat, has a majority of Gujarati speakers.</p> <p>“I wanted someone who could not only communicate with my parents but everyone else in my family,” says Meera.</p> <p>After Meera approached her parents about the possibility of an arranged marriage, they got in touch with Gujarati families across the world.</p> <p>While they went through many potential suitors, it was ultimately a New Zealand man, Rushi, who stole Meera’s heart.</p> <p>“My dad contacted his dad, and after that we exchanged numbers,” she said.</p> <p>After getting to know each other through text and phone calls, Meera and Rushi flew to one another to meet each other’s families.</p> <p>That was two years ago. Now, as Meera and Rushi get ready to marry each other in January, they know each other better than they know themselves.</p> <p>“It’s going to be a big wedding from what I hear because it’s going to be planned by parents fully,” she says.</p> <p>“As long as they’re happy, I’m happy.”</p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

Edwina Bartholomew announces surprising new living arrangement with husband

<p><em>Sunrise</em> star Edwina Bartholomew has shared her unusual new living arrangement with her husband.</p> <p>The Seven presenter and Neil Varcoe, who tied the knot in 2018, will be transitioning into a long-distance relationship as she continues her Monday to Friday donair duties and her partner moves full time to their Capertee Valley home to become a farmer.</p> <p>Varcoe, a former journalist, left his job at Twitter after Elon Musk took over and plans to be the “chief farming officer” at Warramba, the 1980s farm that he and his wife have restored.</p> <p>He will also become the project manager of The Victoria — a historic hotel in the Blue Mountains.</p> <p>It is believed that Bartholomew, 39, will remain in Sydney with their two children, Molly, three, and Tom, one, throughout the week, with the trio joining Varcoe at the rural property on weekends.</p> <p>The <em>Sunrise</em> star announced the news on Instagram, describing it as “a big day” for their family</p> <p>“Neil was born and raised in Lithgow and went to school in Bathurst, so it’s pretty exciting he now gets to contribute to the extraordinary growth in the Central West,” she wrote.</p> <p>“He is also the proud new owner of a very big jacket and beard to survive the winter.</p> <p>“We have our first stay in Carcoar as a family this weekend. We will miss him during the week but let the commuting, designing, renovation fun begin!”</p> <p>Varcoe also shared the news on his Instagram page, praising the “courage” of his wife, saying that “this wild scheme was her idea”.</p> <p>He wrote that he was “excited to build a business for his family” from the ground up.</p> <p>“The chance to contribute to the extraordinary growth that’s occurring in my home region is irresistible,” Varcoe wrote.</p> <p>Earlier in 2023, Bartholomew sparked debate when she revealed she and her husband have <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/works-like-a-charm-edwina-bartholomew-s-surprising-trick-for-a-happy-marriage" target="_blank" rel="noopener">slept in different beds</a> for the past seven years.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Instagram</em></p>

Relationships

Placeholder Content Image

“No justification for this ever”: Outrage over one husband’s selfish inflight arrangement

<p>A couple in the United States have landed themselves at the centre of the internet’s attention after the wife made the shocking admission that her husband flies first class when they travel, leaving her behind in economy with their two children. </p> <p>Writing to <em>The New York Times</em>’ ethics column, she wanted to know if she was selfish for thinking their ‘arrangement’ was unfair, noting that while he had offered a compromise of sorts, it did “not really address or solve the problem of the inherent selfishness in his thinking.”</p> <p>As she explained in her message, she and her husband are avid travellers, and he “either pays for, or gets an upgrade into, the first-class cabin”. Even when they travel with their two children - who are 12 and 16 years old - he takes himself off to first class, while they remain in economy.</p> <p>According to her, he justifies it to himself by explaining that it’s “because of the cost”, and that their children “might feel alone” if she were to travel up front with him.</p> <p>“I feel that this is unfair,” she said. “ I don’t think our kids would mind if they were in economy plus and my husband and I sat together in first class. Is that unfair of me to want? </p> <p>“My husband has suggested travelling alone on a different flight ahead of us so that we don’t feel badly about the disparity, but this does not really address or solve the problem of the inherent selfishness in his thinking. Am I wrong?”</p> <p>Kwame Anthony Appiah, the ethicist who responded to her for <em>The New York Times</em>, was of the opinion that “a modern marriage is meant to be a pairing of equals”, with partners treating each other with respect and having equal say in the decision making process.</p> <p>“Your husband has another view,” he said. “He evidently thinks that because he’s the ticket-buyer in the family, his own preferences get priority.”</p> <p>And when the article was shared to social media, people from all over were quick to get in on the discussion, with most leaping to the defence of the wife. </p> <p>“I’d divorce him so fast he’d never get to fly first class again until our kids were grown and through college,” one said. “There is no justification for this ever.”</p> <p>“I'd be calling a divorce lawyer rather than a travel agent,” one agreed. </p> <p>“Wow. And you’re still married to him?! I’d recommend booking your own flights,” came a similar response. </p> <p>Meanwhile, another noted that she “just might be married to a narcissist.”</p> <p>“Oooph BIG YIKES. It’s not about the flight, I’m sure this imbalance trickles into other parts of the relationship,” someone wrote. </p> <p>And as another shared, “recently, my husband was offered the upgrade to first class but declined it because I couldn’t go too. We’ve been married 30 years.”</p> <p>Some, however, took issue with the idea of both parents lounging in first while their children were still left behind, with one noting “she wants to upgrade but still leave the kids in economy? The pair of them sound like terrible parents.”</p> <p>“Frankly, I’m blown away that this mother sees the disparity for herself,” another said, “but is perfectly comfortable experiencing privilege while treating her own children disparately.”</p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

Travel Trouble

Placeholder Content Image

How should your cutlery drawer be arranged? Huge debate sparks online

<p>A New Zealander has unwittingly set off a furious debate about how one should arrange their cutlery drawer, in a post on social media platform <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/newzealand/comments/9of3ee/how_does_nz_arrange_the_cutlery_drawer/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reddit</a>. Should it be a left-right configuration of fork, knife, spoon? Or knife, fork, spoon? And which direction do you place the head of the cutlery?</p> <p>The post was headlined: “How does NZ arrange the cutlery drawer?”</p> <p>“How is the cutlery drawer arranged in your kitchen?” they wrote.</p> <p>“My whole life I’ve gone with the (L-R) fork, knife, spoon configuration (teaspoons below) but have stayed places where knives are on the far left.”</p> <p>“What’s the setup at your place?”</p> <p>As it turns out, people are very passionate when it comes to their cutlery configuration of choice, with hundreds giving their opinion. Some became quite angry about the issue voicing some very cutting commentary. “I actually get so irate over this,” said one Reddit user.</p> <p>One person spoke of a familiar cutlery situation many of us will be familiar with – both order and chaos.</p> <p>“Large knives, knives, forks, spoons, teaspoons at the bottom,” they said of their ordered drawer. “And then other two drawers a mess of utensils until you have a clean out every three years, because you just can’t find the f***ing quarter cup.”</p> <p>Another user agreed, saying, “This is the standard my household follows.”</p> <p>And one person praised the owner of the cutlery drawer as a “cultured individual with a fine taste in cutlery organisation”.</p> <p>But the debate was far from over. The utensil talk became even more controversial with the issue of which direction you should place the head of your knives, spoons and forks. Should it be towards the drawer handle or to the back of the drawer?</p> <p>“What sort of animal would arrange the handles towards the back of the drawer?” wrote one person.</p> <p>But as another Reddit user pointed out, “If all the handles are at the front then all forks, knives and spoons look the same.”</p> <p>However, another commenter admitted their cutlery drawer was “pure chaos”.</p> <p>“I just throw them all in the drawer together, no organisation, pure chaos,” they wrote. When someone branded the disrupter a “monster” they replied, “Survival of the fittest.”</p> <p><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Home & Garden

Placeholder Content Image

How to create your own flower arrangements

<p>Flowers are a sure-fire way to make just about anyone’s day. Whether you’re giving them as a gift, using them to decorate you house or making a centrepiece for an occasion, flowers will instantly brighten with their beauty. Here are some tips for creating your own flower arrangements at home.</p> <p><strong>Look for inspiration</strong><br />With Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, inspiration for flower arrangements is now literally endless. Magazines and books are also a great source for ideas.</p> <p><strong>Select a colour scheme</strong><br />When deciding on a colour scheme for your flower arrangement, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, is it an arrangement to go in a vase in your home and if so, what are the colours of the room it is going in? Or perhaps it is a gift for a friend and if so, what’s the occasion? Lastly, what time of year is it? These factors will influence what you go for. If the arrangement is for a house then you’ll need to pick colours that suit the room. If it is for an occasion, you’ll want to consider if you need bright and happy colours, or something more subtle. Lastly, if it's summer, it’s best to opt for colours that celebrate that time of year.</p> <p><strong>Write up a recipe</strong><br />Prepare a recipe for your floral arrangements, just as you do when making a meal. Include tools and supplies needed, the amount of flowers and go from there. If you're making an arrangement for home, you’ll likely just need the bucket, vase, a couple of tools for grooming the flowers (see below). For a bouquet, you’ll need all of that minus the vase and add in some ribbon and string, or if you’re after a centrepiece, you will also need a block of floral foam and a votive to make your arrangement in. It’s always a good idea to buy a few more flowers than you think you’ll need. A standard flower arranging supply tool kit would include: clippers, floral tape, ribbons, floral moss, flower preservative, rose strippers if you have roses, and vases. Once you have your recipe, you'll know what you need.</p> <p><strong>Off to the market</strong><br />You have a few options when it comes to where to buy your blooms: you could start in your own garden if you’re on a budget, otherwise there are lots of wholesale flower markets, or grocery stores, store front florists, farmer’s markets and mail order. We recommend heading to wholesale markets. The produce comes straight from farms, the variety is amazing and you can generally get the best value for your money. Keep in mind that in order to get the best flowers from the markets, you’ll have to get there early and some markets open at 4 or 5am. Check what markets are closest to you.</p> <p><strong>Pick your flowers</strong><br />Peonies or gardenias, roses or carnations, orchids or irises? It is best to select flowers according to the time of year and what’s in season. Out-of-season flowers are likely to be harder to come by and expensive. There are some places in which you can pre-order, so it might be worth a phone call to discuss your options. Otherwise, just Google what you’re interested in and see what's in season where you live and make your plan around that. When you’re at the market or store, make sure the flowers you buy are not beginning to wilt. Ideally, there should be a few green buds in the mix and petals should feel firm and have no brown edges.</p> <p><strong>Grooming</strong><br />First you need to pick out any dead or broken blooms and petals. Next, you need to cut each stem by at least one inch at an angle using a sharp knife, scissors, or clippers. Then it is very important to get them into some water. Buckets work well to keep them in and a tall bucket in which the stems can gently rest on the sides will work best. The fewer leaves left below the waterline in the vase the better as leaves steal nutrients from blooms and can also cause the water to get nasty faster. Be sure to pull of the extra greenery. Most flowers (except tulips and hyacinths) do best in lukewarm water.</p> <p><strong>Caring for your flowers</strong><br />Keep the water fresh and change daily to keep the flowers healthy. It’s also good to trim the stems periodically to help them stay hydrated.</p> <p><strong>Step-by-step guide to flower arranging<br /></strong><br />1. Begin by placing two or three more branchy stems into the vase (or in your hand if you're making a bouquet) as this will help you get an idea of the overall shape you want your arrangement to take. You want to create a sense of width as well as height, so really work those angles.</p> <p>2. Now start adding the attention-grabbing blooms one at a time, again at different heights. Try placing one big bloom right on the edge of the vase, and one at least an inch or two higher. If it looks like your arrangement is growing a set of eyeballs, snip one of the stems.</p> <p>3. Turn your vase often and consider working from different angles. Even if you vase ends up in a corner or against a wall when you’re done, you want it looking good from all sides.</p> <p>4. Go slowly and don’t be afraid to take things out if it’s not working. Keep going, adding alternate colours, sizes and shapes. Mix foliage and greenery with vivid hues, ensuring you don’t damage them. When you feel like you’re done, try adding two or three longer gestural stems (ranunculus or anemones) at an unexpected height or angle to pump up the drama.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Home & Garden

Placeholder Content Image

Beautiful floral arrangements

<p>Need some inspiration to create your own floral arrangements this spring? Look no further than these beautiful floral designs.</p> <p><img width="360" height="480" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/9681/1.jpg" alt="1 (73)" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p><img width="360" height="450" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/9682/2.jpg" alt="2 (76)" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p><img width="360" height="450" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/9683/3.jpg" alt="3 (72)" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p><img width="364" height="546" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/9684/4_364x546.jpg" alt="4 (67)" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p><img width="353" height="470" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/9685/5_353x470.jpg" alt="5 (65)" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p><img width="352" height="416" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/9686/6_352x416.jpg" alt="6 (62)" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p><img width="340" height="340" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/9687/8_340x340.jpg" alt="8 (53)" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p><img width="338" height="337" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/9688/9_338x337.jpg" alt="9 (42)" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p><img width="335" height="504" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/9689/10_335x504.jpg" alt="10 (31)" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p><img width="326" height="487" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/9690/11_326x487.jpg" alt="11 (15)" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/></p> <p><em>Image sources: BHG.com, Martha Stewart, greenbouquetfloraldesign, flowersforeveryone, designbotanica </em></p> <p><strong>Related links: </strong></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong><a href="/lifestyle/at-home/2015/08/add-colour-to-home-without-paint/">Add colour to your home (without painting)</a></strong></em></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong><a href="/lifestyle/at-home/2015/07/lace-vase-tutorial/">How to make beautiful lace vases</a></strong></em></span></p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong><a href="/lifestyle/at-home/2015/07/fragrant-plants-for-home/">5 plants that will keep your home smelling lovely</a></strong></em></span></p>

Home & Garden

Placeholder Content Image

10 simple flower arranging tips

<p>Bring the beautiful blooms from your garden inside with our top tips on arranging a pretty bouquet with a professionally polished touch.</p> <p>1. Trim a couple of centimetres off stems using a sharp knife or garden clippers. Scissor usually crack stems and then blooms can’t access water.</p> <p>2. Start with a good base by using a few branches of leafy greens to work in to. Let the shape of the branches determine the shape of the bouquet.</p> <p>3. Many florist use foam bases to keep flowers in place and well-hydrated. Soak foam in water for 15 minutes before cutting it to fit in the container and then water foam a couple of days to keep flowers looking fresh.</p> <p>4. Add large, heavy flowers first then fill spaces with smaller, airier blooms.</p> <p>5. Don’t crowd a bouquet with all the prettiest flowers. The best bouquets keep it simple and let a few beautiful flowers stand out.</p> <p>6. Use greenery around the flowers to accentuate their colours and beauty.</p> <p>7. Play with texture to create striking arrangements. You could add airy, wispy sprigs that cascade over the container to a dense mound of flowers.</p> <p>8. A good rule of thumb for arrangements is to ensure you bouquet is taller than its container by one and half times. Also, balance width and height.</p> <p>9. Use a hairband –stronger than elastic bands – to keep flowers in place. Tie band around stems where the waterline falls.</p> <p>10. Turn the arrangement every so often to ensure it’s even from all sides. Look at it from above and fill any gaps.</p> <p><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Related links:</span></strong></p> <p><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="/lifestyle/at-home/2015/05/make-flowers-last-longer/">7 tips to make fresh flowers last longer</a></span></em></strong></p> <p><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="/lifestyle/gardening/2015/05/streets-shades-by-colourful-trees/">The most beautiful streets you will ever see</a></span></em></strong></p> <p><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="/lifestyle/gardening/2015/04/colourful-garden/%20%20%20">How to use colour in your garden to influence your mood</a></span></em></strong></p>

Home & Garden

Our Partners