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Ian Thorpe opens up on darkest moment of his career

<p>Ian Thorpe has recalled the moment an irregular drug test almost upended his life and destroyed his reputation. </p> <p>The Aussie swimming legend opened up about a few key moments in his personal life that coincided with the height of his swimming career in a tell-all new book. </p> <p>The 41-year-old athlete singled out the drug test chapter as one of the darkest moments of his career in a new book Profiles In Hope, written by former NSW Liberal leader John Brogden.</p> <p>In 2006, Thorpe underwent a routine drug test that returned an irregular result, with French newspaper <em>L’Equipe</em> reporting that he had returned an unusual level of testosterone.</p> <p>However, results also showed a hormone called leutenising hormone, another naturally occurring substance.</p> <p>The news of the test gained international attraction, and resulted in Thorpe launching a lawsuit against the newspaper.</p> <p>“An irregular test isn’t uncommon. They happen. So firstly, no one should know that information to begin with,” Thorpe says in the book, according to the <em><a title="www.dailymail.co.uk" href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/olympics/article-13845887/Ian-Thorpe-goes-public-never-heard-devastating-admission.html">Daily Mail</a></em>.</p> <p>“An irregular test means nothing. An irregular test gets thrown out."</p> <p>He said at the time the speculation that he was a cheat was “so upsetting” and the way the information was leaked to French journalist made him feel “deeply alarmed”.</p> <p>He also admitted that during the media storm around the testing, he did not want to leave his home and says now he had thoughts about taking his own life and staging it as an accident.</p> <p>The “Thorpedo” now has the tools in place for his mental health to look back and think he could have handled it better. </p> <p>“In that kind of state, you’re entirely irrational, your logic is warped,” he tells Brogden.</p> <p>“It’s only in the periods when you have clarity of mind, when your mental health is good, that you can actually reflect on things and say, ‘Well, I could have done this’. </p> <p>“I realised what I was doing wasn’t working, and that I needed help. So I got that help, and even though I was still in a long-term depressive state, I got better. I wasn’t at the point of suicide.”</p> <p><em><strong>Need to talk to someone? Don't go it alone. Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or <a href="http://lifeline.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-stringify-link="http://lifeline.org.au" data-sk="tooltip_parent">lifeline.org.au</a></strong></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Caring

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Tina Turner's husband's loving act during her darkest hours

<p dir="ltr">When Tina Turner met Erwin Bach in 1985, it was love at first sight. </p> <p dir="ltr">The lasting kind, too, with the pair going on to enjoy nearly 40 years together - and 9 years of marriage after tying the knot in July 2013 - before <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/news/news/tributes-flow-for-tina-turner">the legendary singer passed away at 83</a>, in the home the couple shared. </p> <p dir="ltr">Tina had been battling various health issues in the years leading up to her passing, and had faced a particularly dark spot back in 2017 - but Erwin had been determined to help.</p> <p dir="ltr">The story of their relationship - and Erwin’s heartfelt gift - was covered in Tina’s 2018 memoir, with the star sharing that she had first met her future husband after landing at Cologne’s airport ahead of her Private Dancer tour. </p> <p dir="ltr">Bach, who at the time was the executive for EMI, had been there to collect her, along with a gift - a Mercedes Jeep. But as Tina noted, it wasn’t the car that caught her eye, but instead Bach. </p> <p dir="ltr">“My heart suddenly started to beat ‘BOOM, BOOM, BOOM’,” she recalled. “My hands were ice cold.</p> <p dir="ltr">“‘So this is what they call love at first sight’, I thought. ‘Oh my God, I am not ready for this’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">It was a far cry from Tina’s first marriage to her abusive first husband, Ike Turner, and the couple happily settled into their quiet life in Zurich. </p> <p dir="ltr">However, things took a challenging turn when - after 9 years of marriage - Tina’s health declined. </p> <p dir="ltr">As she shared in her autobiography, “I couldn’t eat. I was surviving but not living,” she shared in her autobiography.  I began to think about death.</p> <p dir="ltr">“If my kidneys were going, and it was time for me to die, I could accept that. It was okay. When it’s time, it’s really time.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Things became so difficult that she even looked into assisted suicide, before Bach stepped in to do what he could for his wife, telling Tina that he “didn’t want another woman, or another life”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Then he shocked me,” she said. “He said he wanted to give me one of his kidneys.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The next step was to find out if they were a match - with tests confirming that they could go ahead with the donation - and the pair underwent surgery in 2017. </p> <p dir="ltr">It was, thankfully, a success, though Tina’s favourite part of it all was seeing “when Erwin came rolling into my room in his wheelchair.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He somehow managed to look good, even handsome, as he greeted me with an energetic ‘hi, darling!’ </p> <p dir="ltr">“I was so emotional - happy, overwhelmed, and relieved that we’d come through this alive.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Getty</em></p> <p> </p>

Caring

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“My darkest secret until now”: Uma Thurman’s emotional confession

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Uma Thurman has shared her “darkest secret” in an emotional essay published this week in </span><em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2021/09/21/uma-thurman-abortion-law-texas/" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Washington Post</span></a></em><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The </span><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Kill Bill </span></em><span style="font-weight: 400;">star criticised the Texas abortion ban after revealing she had an abortion in her “late teens”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Thurman shared her own experience in the hope of “drawing the flames of controversy away from the vulnerable women on whom this law will have an immediate effect”.</span></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CUGfL7TMVKT/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CUGfL7TMVKT/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Uma Thurman (@umathurman)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“This law is yet another discriminatory tool against those who are economically disadvantaged, and often, indeed, against their partners,” Thurman wrote.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Women and children of wealthy families retain all the choices in the world, and face little risk. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I am grief-stricken, as well, that the law pits citizen against citizen, creating new vigilantes who will prey on disadvantaged women, denying them the choice not to have children they are not equipped to care for, or extinguishing their hopes for the future family they might choose.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">In her story, Thurman described how she fell pregnant by accident to “a much older man” while “living out of a suitcase in Europe, far from my family, and about to start a job”.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After seeking advice from her parents, including her gravely ill mother, Thurman came to the decision that she would terminate the pregnancy.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Thurman noted that she didn’t have the means to provide a stable home for a newborn at the time, and that her decision then allowed her to have children when she was ready.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“The abortion I had as a teenager was the hardest decision of my life, one that caused me anguish then and that saddens me even now, but it was the path to the life full of joy and love that I have experienced,” she wrote.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Choosing not to keep that early pregnancy allowed me to grow up and become the mother I wanted and needed to be.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It has been my darkest secret until now.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I am 51 years old, and I am sharing it with you from the home where I have raised my three children, who are my pride and joy.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Thurman shares two children with ex-husband Ethan Hawke, and a daughter with ex-fianc</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">é</span><span style="font-weight: 400;"> Arpad Busson.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Thurman ended the piece by appealing to the women and girls affected by the controversial new law and sharing an inspiring message.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“To all of you - to women and girls of Texas, afraid of being traumatised and hounded by predatory bounty hunters; to all women outraged by having our bodies’ rights taken by the state; and to all of you who are made vulnerable and subjected to shame because you have a uterus - I say: I see you.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Have courage. You are beautiful. You remind me of my daughters.”</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image credit: @umathurman / Instagram</span></em></p>

Caring

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Grant Denyer reveals darkest family secrets: “It took me weeks to recover”

<p>Grant Denyer has become a familiar face on Australia’s TV screens for almost two decades.</p> <p>From featuring on<span> </span><em>Sunrise<span> </span></em>as a weather reporter, to checking in daily as the<em><span> </span>Family Feud</em><span> </span>host, the TV star has now decided to undertake a quiet patch and spend more time with his family.</p> <p>After welcoming his third child with wife Chezzi Denyer, the dad says he could not be anymore happier to be spending time with his three girls, Sailor, 10, Scout, 5, and their newborn Sunday.</p> <p>Denyer told<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.nowtolove.com.au/celebrity/tv/grant-denyer-daughters-67871" target="_blank"><em>Now To Love<span> </span></em></a>what he loves most is: "just being there more than I have ever, making lunches, doing school drop-offs, and taking them to sport… all the things that were very hard for me to do in the past because I wasn't here. The effect it has on the girls is quite profound.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CNW4GjKMkEo/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CNW4GjKMkEo/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Grant Denyer (@grantdenyer)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“They're happier, they feel safer, they just feel like they've got a whole family unit looking after them."</p> <p>While he has been appreciating his time away from work, the TV star couldn’t help but jump at the chance to explore his family history in<span> </span><em>Who Do You Think You Are?.</em></p> <p>"It was an instant 'Hell yeah,'" he candidly admitted.</p> <p>"I blindly went in like a dumb boy, just going, 'How cool would it be to be related to a bushranger?'"</p> <p>However, what was meant to be a lightheaded self-discovery turned into an unravelling of "harrowing and dark" secrets.</p> <p>The beloved TV personality was met with a harsh reality; His Scottish ancestors were forced from their homes "in the most brutal way" during the Highland Clearances.</p> <p>"All the women were attacked, and they were driven off their land and had nowhere to live," he said.</p> <p>"I was not expecting to hear that my ancestors had horrific lives. It was really deeply emotional. At times it was very hard to stomach.</p> <p>"It took me weeks to recover, I reckon. It really rocked me."</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CMWczCgsMw4/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CMWczCgsMw4/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Grant Denyer (@grantdenyer)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Thankfully, the star has been able to find solace in his wife and three girls, admitting his youngest Sunday has wrapped his family in a “beautiful baby bubble”.</p> <p>"The glow hasn't worn off," he said.</p> <p>"It's just glowing brighter. It's unreal.</p> <p>"Our favourite thing is just making her giggle because it's just the sweetest sound you've ever heard. Oh my God, it's like warm honey."</p> <p>He went on to say: "If you're going to have a break from work just for a little bit, it's the perfect time to do it.</p> <p>"I'm really thankful that I don't have much on at the moment and I can just savour it."</p>

Family & Pets

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Prince Harry refers to "darkest of places" in new Netflix documentary

<div class="post_body_wrapper"> <div class="post_body"> <div class="body_text "> <p>Prince Harry refers to the "darkest of places" in the latest Netflix documentary <em>Rising Phoenix</em>, which focuses on the creation of the Paralympics and the challenges competitors have faced.</p> <p>To promote the new documentary, Harry appeared via Zoom alongside other athletes.</p> <p>"There isn't anything else in the world that can bring you back from the darkest of places than sport," the Prince explained.</p> <p>Other athletes in the group included Tatyana McFadden and Matt Stutzman from the US, Bebe Vio from Italy, Jean-Baptiste Alaize from France and Ntando Mahlangu from South Africa.</p> <p>"With COVID and everything else that is happening at the moment, your stories and the strength that you guys show, is incredible and that needs to be seen more," the Duke of Sussex says.</p> <p>"It needs to be spoken about more, to try and get rid of the stereotyping to get rid of those preconceptions.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">The Duke of Sussex spoke to <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/RisingPhoenix?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#RisingPhoenix</a> stars <a href="https://twitter.com/ArmlessArcher?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@ArmlessArcher</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/jbalaize?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@jbalaize</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/TatyanaMcFadden?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@TatyanaMcFadden</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/VioBebe?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@VioBebe</a> and Ntando Mahlangu about the power of sport to change the world and the way we think.<br /><br />Rising Phoenix – the extraordinary story of the <a href="https://twitter.com/Paralympics?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@Paralympics</a> - is out now on Netflix. <a href="https://t.co/Kzq0COg6RF">pic.twitter.com/Kzq0COg6RF</a></p> — HTYT Stories (@HTYTstories) <a href="https://twitter.com/HTYTstories/status/1301523211667099649?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 3, 2020</a></blockquote> <p>"My biggest hope is that people will watch this film and go, 'No matter how hard my life is, no matter how hard a day or a week can be, this what I aspire to, not just for me but for my family and all the loved ones around me'.</p> <p>"It is that element that I think will end up changing the world, so well done and thank you very much."</p> <p>The Duke of Sussex is a long-time advocate for overcoming adversity as he created the Invictus Games, which gives wounded, injured and sick servicemen and women the chance to compete in sports to assist their recovery and rehabilitation.</p> <p><em>Rising Phoenix</em><span> </span>is now available to watch on Netflix.</p> </div> </div> </div>

News

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Deborah Hutton recalls how she got through the darkest hours of her life

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">It may seem hard to believe, but a little over a year ago, Deborah Hutton said she was having deep issues in her life. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">"I was in a really bad way, I was just a mess," the media personality admitted to </span><a href="https://www.nowtolove.com.au/women-of-the-future/the-weekly/deborah-hutton-partner-59515"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Women’s Weekly. </span></a></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Deborah’s estranged partner had just been arrested for staging a break-in at the Sydney beach home they shared together, in a bid to intimidate her into staying with him. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Earlier that morning, a heartbroken Deb had been chatting with her close friend Junny Haretuku, who lives two-and-a-half hours out of Sydney.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Suddenly, there was a startling knock on her door. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">"And Jenny was standing there with all the ingredients for chicken soup – literally. She had an overnight bag and said, 'I am staying,'" Deborah, 57, recalled.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">"I just burst into tears and thought, 'That's one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given.'"</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Aussie celebrity has opened up about navigating through life with her close group of friends who she considers her “family”. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Among her tight-knit group is Deeta Colvin who Hutton describes as "the greatest engineer of fun and frivolity Australia has seen".</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">"Friendships take on a very different meaning to you if you don't have your own family," Deborah said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">"My friends are my family.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">"Because I never really had a true sense of immediate family, my friendships are everything to me. They anchor me and help me feel secure.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">"It's different for me. I am not married and I don't have children. Friendships take on a very different meaning to you if you don't have your own family."</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">While she has found love through her closest companions, the media personality says she is focussing on new life projects thay “make her heart sing”. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Every relationship I have had, I have loved at that time of my life. Every relationship was meant to be for that particular time and it was meant to finish when it did and I have evolved out of that,” she said. </span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Scroll through the gallery above to see Deborah Hutton for Women’s Weekly. </span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Images: Women’s Weekly</span></em></p>

Beauty & Style

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Waleed Aly reveals his "darkest period" on The Project

<p><em>The Project</em> host Waleed Aly should have been over the moon when he won the Gold Logie back in 2016, but for the star, it was a reminder of the pressure that was to come.</p> <p>As Australia’s most prominent Muslim figure, Waleed is well aware of the controversy that comes with being in the spotlight.</p> <p>Although he receives hate mail, abuse and even death threats, he usually doesn’t let it phase him. In an interview with <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.gq.com.au/success/opinions/waleed-aly-on-the-logies-and-becoming-the-most-important-figure-in-australian-media/image-gallery/6753141b648d5a3b14cbe155b9e7e67f?pos=2" target="_blank"><em>GQ Australia</em></a> that was done to mark the 10th anniversary of <em>The Project</em>, Aly reflected on just how far he’s come.</p> <p>“I still definitely feel like an outsider in TV,” Waleed reflected. “I suffer from ‘imposter syndrome’ where I feel like I’m doing someone else’s job. I honestly feel my personality is wrong for this work. Law and academia still feel like more natural fits. What most excites me is getting to grips with life in those strange, quiet, thrilling moments where a new idea makes the world fall into place.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw_q9I7HLWx/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw_q9I7HLWx/" target="_blank">The incredible Magda is at the desk tonight! #TheProjectTV</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/theprojecttv/" target="_blank"> The Project</a> (@theprojecttv) on May 3, 2019 at 2:10am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p><em>The Project’s</em> executive producer Craig Campbell also spoke about the extra precautions they have to take with the more specific threats that Aly receives.</p> <p>“When Waleed gets threats, we have extra security, 24-7 if necessary. We walk him to his car. Idle threats or not, we make sure he feels safe. This country is weird. The threats against him may be ridiculous. Police do get involved, security do get concerned. But I take my hat off to him. He doesn’t back off to protect his state of mind.”</p> <p>However, Waleed is hyper-aware that it’s not “really about him” when he gets sent abuse.</p> <p>“Everything I do in this job tests my resilience,” he admits. “Many are the moments where I know I have to stick my head in a place where someone’s going to kick it. We live in a culture of outrage. I’ve had certain incorrigible people in the media gunning for me now for close to 15 years. Death threats. Hate mail. It keeps on coming. But the abuse directed at me is really not about me, it’s about them.”</p> <p>This doesn’t mean he’s not immune to the darkness that comes with his job in the spotlight, with Waleed admitting he’s “been to the edge a few times”.</p> <p>“Not in the form of clinical depression but certainly I’ve felt pressure so extreme it weighs me down and leaves me unable to work,” he explained.</p> <p>“The great irony in my case is that my lowest points personally coincide with what are supposedly my greatest professional successes.”</p> <p>Aly, who gave an emotional tribute to those who died in the Christchurch massacre, a video viewed over 14 million times, was contacted by <em>The New York Times</em>, <em>CNN </em>and <em>BBC</em> for an interview.</p> <p>But the journalist declined saying, "My instinct is always to remove myself from the story and commercial TV is the opposite – it makes the host the story."</p> <p>He also shut down claims that say he uses <em>The Project</em> to promote his agenda. "I'm not interested in playing to the gallery or winning approval," he told <em>GQ</em>.</p> <p>"Ratings are an important calculation in commercial television, sure, but I don't think of the show as a weapon for change, a vehicle for remaking the world or as a platform for imprinting my world-view on anything. It's a forum where issues can be agitated and i try to agitate them responsibly so we perform a service for our audience."</p>

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Is this the darkest moment on My Kitchen Rules yet?

<p>A new<span> </span><em>My Kitchen Rules<span> </span></em>promo has seen contestants bring our their knives – literally. </p> <p>The promo begins with 28-year-old Victor from Victoria displaying some unsettling behaviour as he spins a knife on the end of his fingertips before storming out of the Super Dinner Party.</p> <p>The other contestants watch on in awe, with Austin asking if he’s alright.</p> <p>A caption during the promo then reads, “He’s about to snap”, before Victor is heard antagonising the other contestants.</p> <p>He then downs his drink, mutters to his partner, G, that “he’s out” before storming out of the room.</p> <p>The clip goes onto show that Victor is very upset, with other contestants going out and inquiring as to what’s going on.</p> <p><img style="width: 0px; height:0px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7825224/mkr-drama.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/e2be7de08bdc4040a4ba5829bd6ff6dd" /></p> <p>Judge Manu Feildel has had enough of the behaviour, as the clip shows the table of contestants looking shocked and confused.</p> <p>“Can I just say something?” the French chef asks.</p> <p>“Can we just get on with this?”</p> <p>The “this” he is referring to is the scoring of fellow homeschooled contestants Josh and Austin.</p> <p><img style="width: 0px; height:0px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7825223/grumpy-manu.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/0b51c1c6fa864bc2a00f13db0d11aa90" /></p> <p>“Victor and G are gone,” Manu then says, while footage of Victor and G walk off.</p> <p>“I don’t know what you mean,” another voice says.</p> <p>“They’re out… they’re, they’re gone,” Manu responds.</p> <p>Have you been tuning into watch<span> </span><em>My Kitchen Rules</em>? What do you think of this year's series? Let us know in the comments.  </p>

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Fergie opens up about her darkest days: "I destroyed myself"

<p>Sarah Ferguson has candidly opened up about the mental low that she endured following her divorce with Prince Andrew, following 10 years of marriage.</p> <p>The Duchess of York said she “murdered herself” with self-hatred following their split in 1996.</p> <p>However, Fergie described her life with her ex-husband as “the greatest ever”, referring to their unique relationship as their “fairytale”.</p> <p>The mum of Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie, who currently lives with Prince Andrew at Royal Lodge, said she’s “starting my life at 58” after being invited to Prince Harry's wedding earlier this year.</p> <p>Speaking to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCuKU0jXgZw"><strong><em><u>Modern Hero</u></em></strong></a>, Fergie said: “It was rock bottom. I had completely and utterly destroyed myself. I murdered myself.</p> <p>“I must have brought that on for myself, hadn't I? That's how I felt about myself, self-hatred at its height. I think that I lived in my ego for a very long time.”</p> <p>She explained that the time Andrew spent away in the Navy was a key issue in their relationship.</p> <p>“It was seven years, 40 days a year, I saw him. It was really, really difficult,” she said. </p> <p>“It played into my abandonment. We both agreed we didn't fight hard enough to keep it together.”</p> <p>Despite the pain and scrutiny Fergie and Andrew went through, she described their marriage as the “best thing I’ve ever done”.</p> <p>Although she is happier than ever, she admitted that it was a “long, hard” journey that required “loads of spiritual work to break through my ego”.</p> <p>“I realise it’s all about forgiveness,” she added.</p> <p>“Now our life together is the greatest ever,” she said. “It's so hard to comprehend because we're not normal. This is our fairytale, and we're telling it our way.”</p> <p>Opening up about her relationship with her daughters, Fergie said: “100%, I am a mother that I've always wanted.</p> <p>“Beatrice calls me the most misunderstood woman in the world,” she added.</p> <p>Last month, Fergie discussed her divorce with Andrew in an exclusive interview with <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/auhome/index.html"><strong><em><u>Daily Mail.</u></em></strong></a></p> <p>“We’re the happiest divorced couple in the world. We’re divorced to each other, not from each other,” she explained.</p> <p>“July 23, 1986 was the happiest day of my life. Andrew is the best man I know. What he does for Britain is incredible; no one knows how hard he works for his country.”</p>

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The imaginary friend who helped me through my darkest time

<p><em><strong>Beverly Roberts enjoys writing and has belonged to few writer's groups in Cairns. Over the years, she has written for the local Cairns Post newspaper, doing book and theatre reviews, as well as for the local Rondo Theatre. As family has always played a big part of her life, she loves writing about her family.</strong></em></p> <p>I was trying hard to learn how to live alone. Days were okay, I just hated nights. Always have done. Used to wander into my parents’ bedroom. Sometimes even sleepwalked there. Which made them as frightened as I already was.</p> <p>So, now I’m having to accept being alone at night. Night-time, when most house lights have gone out and the curlews cry, I stay awake as long as possible, then retire to bed with a book. Windows are closed and curtains drawn, until it really is time to sleep. Finally, turn the light off, creep out of bed, pull back curtains and open windows, all in the dark. The last window is about a metre from the bed.</p> <p>I just can’t walk there. I know… I know… that under the bed is a dismembered human hand waiting to grab me. But I fool it every time. I take a mighty leap from the window and land on the bed. The hand doesn’t get me! Aaaahhhh.</p> <p>It happened night after night. Often I fear that my leap might be off-centre and I’ll land on the floor. Then what? Broken leg? The Hand around my throat? What can I do?</p> <p>After months of this horror, while doing my usual thing of opening every door to see if there is a “someone” there, I pull open the toilet door and, this night, there is someone there.</p> <p>I am fixed to the spot. It’s a well-dressed gentleman, pin-striped suit, collar and tie, just sitting on the toilet (lid down, of course), hands resting on his knees.</p> <p>“Hello,” he says, in a gentle, but manly voice, “I’ve been waiting for you.”</p> <p>I gape!</p> <p>“What’s your name?” I ask. “Matthew” is the answer. “I’m here to take care of you.”</p> <p>“Oh, thank you.” I turn off the light, shut the door and head for bed. Am I mad?</p> <p>And so this happens every night. Same door, same Matthew, same words. I begin to tell friends (and sometimes, strangers). They look at me oddly, but seem to accept my story. Why not? Matthew has become my friend and hero.</p> <p>One night, same as any other, I open the toilet door. Matthew is not there. No more Matthew! What will I do?</p> <p>I mull over this and suddenly realise that, for the last few nights, The Hand has not been under the bed either.</p> <p>Now I understand. Matthew was there to protect me. Once The Hand was gone, he knew that his job was done.</p> <p>I am rather sad to have him leave, but understand that there are other frightened people like me, who might also need his calm watchfulness.</p> <p>This was all about four years ago and I haven’t thought about The Hand since. I do, however, sometimes think of Matthew, and wonder how he is getting on.</p> <p>Me? I’m getting on fine, thanks.  Life has picked up. No more creepy nights. Just to bed with a book, light off, down I go. And all is well. But it was good to have that true friend, when he was needed.</p>

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Jimmy Barnes opens up about his darkest moment

<p><span>Rock and roll legend Jimmy Barnes has revealed on </span><em><span>Q&amp;A</span></em><span> how he came close to taking his own life after 40 years of drug and alcohol addiction.</span></p> <p><span>The music legend recalled a night where he took cocaine, ecstasy, ketamine, sleeping pills and alcohol and wanted to end his own life as his wife Jane slept in the next room.</span></p> <p><span>“I walked into the room where my suitcase was and I was getting my pants on and suddenly I saw a dressing gown cord tied around a rail in the dressing room and I hadn’t remembered doing it,” he said.</span></p> <p><span>“It was like watching a black and white movie. It came back to me and I remember getting out of bed and going in and thinking maybe it’s easier to die," Barnes added. </span></p> <p><span>“I lay with a rope around my neck trying to die. It’s not that easy to die. And I don’t know why I stopped.”</span></p> <p><span>Barnes explained that his study of Buddhism, along with his wife, helped save him.</span></p> <p><span>“Searching spiritually, part of it saved me. I was born a Protestant and when I met Jane I started looking at Buddhism,” he said.</span></p> <p><span>“I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the years. I was completely unaware of how far and how damaged I was.” </span></p> <p><span>Barnes was commended by the panel and his friend in the audience, actor Sam Neill, for bravely sharing his story.</span></p> <p><span>“I had known Jimmy very well for such a long time and none of this was apparent. And I salute Jimmy for his honesty,” Neill said.</span></p> <p><span>“Thank you for being so real and raw,” said an audience member.</span></p> <p><span>Barnes spoke of his upbringing and said how growing up surrounded with violence and abuse impacts a child’s life.</span></p> <p><span>“I knew from the time I was ... from eight years old I remember running away from home and sitting on the end of a jetty because there was too much going on at home that I couldn’t deal with,” the singer revealed.</span></p> <p><span>“I’d sit on the end of the jetty and think maybe it would be easier to swim out. Eventually obviously, you can’t run from everything and eventually I had to stop and turn and face stuff.”</span></p> <p><span>Barnes explained that once he started talking about his problems, he saw a difference in his life.</span></p> <p><span>“That was a huge step for me. I always thought if you go and ask for help ... I was like a bit of a bloke and ask for help and it’s a sign of weakness,” he told </span><em><span>Q&amp;A</span></em><span>.</span></p> <p><span>“I can look back now and look at the day when I started seriously asking for help and trying to get help was probably the first day where I showed any courage."</span></p> <p><em>If you are troubled by this article, experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide, you can call Lifeline 131 114 or beyondblue 1300 224 636 or visit <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/" target="_blank">lifeline.org.au</a></span></strong> or <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.beyondblue.org.au/" target="_blank">beyondblue.org.au</a></span></strong>.</em></p>

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