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Climate change is forcing Australians to weigh up relocating. How do they make that difficult decision?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/justine-dandy-121273">Justine Dandy</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/zoe-leviston-823">Zoe Leviston</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/australian-national-university-877">Australian National University</a></em></p> <p><a href="https://www.climatecouncil.org.au/resources/climate-whiplash-wild-swings-between-weather-extremes/">Big environmental changes</a> mean ever more Australians will confront the tough choice of whether to move home or risk staying put.</p> <p>Communities in the tropical north are <a href="https://www.news.com.au/technology/environment/climate-change/three-aussie-towns-set-to-become-unliveable-due-to-extreme-heat/news-story/a96b36d1be5054d9fe3282ebf18c3431">losing residents</a> as these regions <a href="https://theconversation.com/study-finds-2-billion-people-will-struggle-to-survive-in-a-warming-world-and-these-parts-of-australia-are-most-vulnerable-205927">become hotter and more humid</a>. <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/national/weather-is-growing-more-extreme-the-pressure-is-on-the-bureau-of-meteorology-to-keep-up-20240111-p5ewms.html">Repeated floods</a> have communities along the east coast questioning their future. Others face <a href="https://theconversation.com/yes-climate-change-is-bringing-bushfires-more-often-but-some-ecosystems-in-australia-are-suffering-the-most-211683">rising bushfire risks</a> that force them to weigh up the <a href="http://www.ohscareer.com.au/archived-news/bushfire-risk-for-those-who-move">difficult decision</a> to move home.</p> <p>However, the decision-making process and relocation opportunities are not the same for everyone. Factors such as socio-economic disadvantage and how we are attached to a place influence decisions to move or stay, where people go and how they experience their new location.</p> <p>Our research, working with other researchers at Edith Cowan University’s <a href="https://www.ecu.edu.au/schools/science/research/strategic-centres/centre-for-people-place-and-planet/overview">Centre for People, Place &amp; Planet</a> and Curtin University, seeks to document when and why people stay or go, and what this means for places and communities. In particular, our research suggests <em>who</em> is more likely to go may leave those who remain even more vulnerable.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/oCeYJPwUaTg?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Darwin is already losing residents because of rising heat and humidity.</span></figcaption></figure> <h2>We’ve been slow to adapt to increasing impacts</h2> <p>Climate change is global in scale and <a href="https://www.ipcc.ch/report/ar6/syr/">has compounding effects</a>. It is increasing the frequency and intensity of disasters and extreme weather events such as heatwaves, fires, storms and floods. It is also accelerating environmental changes such as soil erosion, salinisation of waterways, loss of biodiversity, and land and water degradation.</p> <p>Both sudden disruptions and gradual pervasive decline <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10113-019-01463-1">have impacts</a> on the places where we live, work and play. So far, there has been <a href="https://thefifthestate.com.au/urbanism/climate-change-news/ahuri-rips-into-federal-government-inaction-on-helping-cities-adapt-to-climate-change/">little effective government action</a> to improve <a href="https://www.ahuri.edu.au/research/final-reports/411">climate change adaptation in Australia</a>.</p> <p>As we have seen in recent times in <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/apr/09/land-swaps-relocations-or-rebuilds-lismore-community-grapples-with-its-future">Lismore</a>, New South Wales, and <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-01-17/mooroopna-shepparton-flood-residents-consider-staying-or-leaving/103324882">northern Victoria</a>, for example, living in some flood-prone locations will become <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-03-23/flood-insurance-costing-30000-dollars-where-not-to-build/13268966">unaffordable due to insurance costs</a> or simply uninsurable.</p> <p>In other locations, different reasons will force residents to leave. It might be because environmental change threatens their livelihoods, or they can’t tolerate new conditions such as more long heatwaves or less reliable freshwater supplies. Others might not be able to endure the threat of another disaster.</p> <p>In sum, living in the place they called home will not be sustainable.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/eqafq5UV5Iw?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Repeated floods are forcing people in towns like Rochester in Victoria to contemplate whether they can afford to stay.</span></figcaption></figure> <h2>What factors affect the decision to stay or go?</h2> <p>Not everyone can relocate to cooler or safer places. Systemic inequalities mean some people are more at risk from environmental change and have <a href="https://wires.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1002/wcc.565">less capacity</a> to respond than others. These vulnerable people include children (both <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2024-01-25/climate-change-threatens-health-of-babies-in-utero/103362510">before and after birth</a>), women, older people, people on low incomes and/or with disability, Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples and other cultural and/or linguistic minorities.</p> <p>In addition, housing is more affordable in areas that are hotter or flood-prone. This makes it more likely to be owned or rented by people with fewer financial resources, compounding their disadvantage.</p> <p>For First Nations peoples and communities, connections to and responsibilities for places (Country) are intimately intertwined with identity. For them, the <a href="https://www.cell.com/one-earth/pdf/S2590-3322(20)30250-5.pdf">impacts of climate change</a>, colonisation and resettlement interact, further complicating the question of relocation.</p> <p><a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10113-019-01463-1">Place attachment</a> – the emotional bond between people and their environment – might suppress the urge to move. But environmental change might fundamentally alter the characteristics that make a place unique. What we once loved and enjoyed <a href="https://wires.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/wcc.476">has then disappeared</a>.</p> <p>This sort of change <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0277953612003255">impacts human health</a> and results in feelings of <a href="https://www.cell.com/one-earth/pdf/S2590-3322(20)30250-5.pdf">loss and grief</a>. It can prompt people to decide to leave.</p> <h2>So who stays and who leaves?</h2> <p>In our <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666623523000028#sec0014">research</a>, we found that when residents imagined the loss of what they valued about Perth’s environment this significantly increased their intentions to move away and significantly decreased place attachment. They nominated bushland, beaches, fauna and flora, and the climate/weather as characteristics they valued and feared changing or losing as climate change progressed.</p> <p>One study participant wrote: "It would be hotter and much more unpleasant in summer. I would miss the trees, plants and birds. I would hate living in a concrete jungle without the green spaces we have here. I would miss being able to cycle or walk to the local lakes to connect to nature and feel peaceful."</p> <p>But social factors matter too. We found people who valued characteristics of Perth such as social relationships and lifestyle were more likely to stay as they tended to have less reduction in their place attachment.</p> <p>We also found place attachment was associated with people acting to protect that place, such as protesting environmentally destructive policies. Yet people who were more likely to take such actions were also <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10113-019-01463-1">more likely to leave</a>.</p> <p>This could make the remaining community more vulnerable to further unwanted change. That’s because those who can afford to relocate are usually the ones with the resources – psychological, social, political and financial – to take action to protect their homes, neighbourhoods and cities.</p> <h2>Proper planning for adaptation is long overdue</h2> <p>Climate change impacts everyone. It causes significant economic and non-economic losses for both individuals and communities.</p> <p>Many locations are becoming unliveable. A changing climate and <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-10-21/dark-roofs-raising-the-heat-in-australian-new-suburbs/102990304">inappropriately built or located housing</a> interact to create conditions where some people can or should no longer stay.</p> <p>Some will be prompted or forced to move, but not everyone has that capacity. Furthermore, relocation pressures have environmental, infrastructure and social <a href="https://www.ipcc.ch/report/ar6/syr/">consequences for the places to which they move</a>.</p> <p>The housing crisis in Australia adds to resource constraints and their impacts for individuals and communities. Relocating can also disrupt psychological, emotional, social and cultural connections that are crucial for people’s wellbeing.</p> <p>We need co-ordinated, well-governed, long-term planning for people to move in the face of environmental change to ensure equitable and positive transitions for individuals and communities.</p> <hr /> <p><em>The authors wish to acknowledge the following contributors to this research: Professor Pierre Horwitz and Dr Naomi Godden (Centre for People, Place &amp; Planet, ECU), Dr Deirdre Drake (School of Arts and Humanities, ECU) and Dr Francesca Perugia (School of Design and the Built Environment, Curtin University).</em><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221971/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/justine-dandy-121273">J<em>ustine Dandy</em></a><em>, Associate Professor, Centre for People, Place &amp; Planet, and School of Arts and Humanities, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/zoe-leviston-823">Zoe Leviston</a>, Research Fellow, College of Health and Medicine, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/australian-national-university-877">Australian National University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: </em><em>Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/climate-change-is-forcing-australians-to-weigh-up-relocating-how-do-they-make-that-difficult-decision-221971">original article</a>.</em></p>

Domestic Travel

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“I was silenced”: Jelena Dokic opens up on her difficult relationship with her father

<p dir="ltr">Jelena Dokic has opened up about her difficult relationship with her father, and why she attempted to reconcile with him over ten years ago. </p> <p dir="ltr">The former tennis champion shared the details of the abuse she suffered at the hands of her father, documenting that he inflicted regular beatings in her new book <em>Unbreakable</em>. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 40-year-old said her victories on the court made no difference to her father’s violence, writing, “Even if I won, I would still at times be beaten and be abused. I had some very difficult moments where I was beaten and kicked and punched to the point of being unconscious.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Throughout her tennis career, her father Damir was her coach, and accepted nothing less than perfection from his daughter. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I was silenced for my whole life. From the very first day that I started playing tennis, the No. 1 rule was ‘Never tell anyone anything, or there will be massive, massive consequences’,” she said of his dominating personality.</p> <p dir="ltr">Now, Dokic has candidly shared the details of the last time she saw her father, who left her mentally scarred. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I last had contact with him about 10 years ago. And yeah, I even tried to reconcile with him once or twice,” she told the <em><a href="https://www.smh.com.au/sport/tennis/why-i-and-so-many-others-needed-to-apologise-to-jelena-dokic-20240125-p5f050.html">Sydney Morning Herald</a></em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I think no matter what happens, you kind of hope that maybe you can kind of salvage a relationship when it comes to family.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Those dynamics are always very difficult. But it's very hard when someone doesn't have any remorse or can't say sorry. In fact, what he says is that he would do it all again. So, for me, that is very, very hard.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I had to make a cut and go, ‘I don't need a toxic person or a toxic relationship in my life’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Thankfully, the star player turned tennis commentator is in a much better place with her brother and mother.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I have a great relationship with my brother, which I'm really glad about because my father used my brother and weaponised our relationship - not allowing me to talk with him for about seven years, because he was so much younger than me,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We pretty much talk every day, and with my mum, as well. I've had some tough conversations with her because she was on my father's side - but we're in a good place today.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Instagram</em><span id="docs-internal-guid-4118e97e-7fff-f711-4be7-4d1833689cc4"></span></p>

Family & Pets

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Going home for the holidays? How to navigate conflict and deal with difficult people

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a></em></p> <p>The holiday season is upon us and for many that means all the tension that comes with it. This time of year can be a minefield of uncomfortable moments, disagreement and outright conflict. It’s no wonder <a href="https://fortune.com/well/2022/12/03/home-for-holidays-family-gatherings-mental-health/">many young people</a> are apprehensive about returning home for the holidays after living far away.</p> <p>There are many reasons interpersonal difficulties can arise over the holidays. Perhaps your aunt doesn’t like what you did with her pie recipe, or your friend’s new partner has unsettling political beliefs. Maybe you haven’t lived at home in a while, but your family still talks to you like you’re the same person you were in school. Maybe you’re bringing your partner to meet your family for the first time, and aren’t sure whether everyone will get along.</p> <p>People have socialised less with friends and family <a href="https://triple-c.at/index.php/tripleC/article/view/1167">since the pandemic</a>, and may be feeling out of practice. This can be compounded by all the things people can disagree about.</p> <p>Some topics are higher risk for blowups, and best <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/book/10.1002/9781444354119#page=122">avoided</a> in such settings (religion and politics, for starters). Whether it’s <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11109-018-9476-2">true or not</a>, there’s a popular perception that tricky subjects are more numerous and divisive than ever. Dare one bring up anything adjacent to Brexit, vaccinations or the cost of living? Even bringing your mobile phone to the dining table could get you in trouble.</p> <p>So what happens if your uncle has too much mulled wine and something slips out that annoys or even horrifies you? Family arguments are a common theme in holiday films, but their scripted resolutions are rarely realistic and not based on <a href="https://repository.lboro.ac.uk/articles/book/Talk_the_science_of_conversation/9476291">empirical research</a>. By considering how these things work in the context of real interactions, we can move from what sounds good in theory to what we can put into practice.</p> <h2>Think before you speak</h2> <p>In real-world situations, <a href="http://pstorage-loughborough-53465.s3.amazonaws.com/21189843/Thesis2019Joyce.pdf">interactions can escalate</a> before you’re even fully aware that they’re happening. You might be able to anticipate why and how an interaction might become a problem. Does alcohol generally lead to arguments in your family? Are your parents usually hypercritical of your new partners? Consider how to avoid problems before they start.</p> <figure>In the moment, you can often spot “clues” that something is about to go awry. Trouble doesn’t usually emerge solely because of one person, but through <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9780429058011-13/conflict-interaction-phillip-glenn">the back-and-forth between people</a>. Assuming too much about who might be “the difficult one” and why won’t be helpful on its own.</figure> <p>You have to learn to recognise the conversational moves people are making (including your own) and see how <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/B9780126235500500082">other people respond to them</a>. Some facial expressions can express doubt or distrust, and contemptuous expressions (such as <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08351813.2021.1936858">eye-rolling</a>) can signal that a conversation might take a turn toward insult rather than discussion. A response that starts with the word <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216615002465?casa_token=gyu3pjfpGrEAAAAA:VwEe8rVBXvsbF9V_aeYylN42IpKYeZ1BGqp85VoP_rkBQZtEI5AbuqBloiPxgTKfsJjj5VTSvcY">“well”</a> can be warning of incoming disagreement.</p> <p>As you notice what ways of speaking get what kinds of responses, you can be more thoughtful about what you choose to say. Even <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-319-99094-1_2">changing a single word</a> can shift the direction of a conversation. A common sign that a conversation is starting to escalate unhelpfully is that people begin <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08351813.2020.1826765?casa_token=AIU2DQgEJQUAAAAA%3AGoBBF8SPSXcDmiKBAwaIihjFngE1ck8QiVj0HFZO7VGxi8TtkOf7PB0j5NMV9ufgMN4BwF-dMFA1Gw">commenting on the conversation itself and accusing</a> one another of unreasonable behaviour. Once you learn to be more conscious of that, it can help you reflect on how to respond in ways that might deescalate… if that’s what you want to do.</p> <h2>Why we fight</h2> <p>There is a dilemma here: sometimes backing down from a conflict challenges our values of authenticity and commitment to our beliefs. If someone says something insulting, whether mild or <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216622002120">egregious</a>, it feels disingenuous and morally irresponsible to smooth things over. Some conflict is worth engaging, especially with someone you care about who is willing to listen and think about things. The complication is, that’s not always the case.</p> <p>Often when people argue about something they care about, they end up <a href="https://ttu-ir.tdl.org/handle/2346/16661">misaligned</a> or “talking at cross purposes”, where they’re not really even discussing the same thing anymore. Every conversation has a trajectory, but it’s entirely possible for a conversation to have <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2786745#metadata_info_tab_contents">parallel or divergent trajectories</a>. In such cases, it’s unlikely that any amount of <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/08351813.2019.1631044">good-faith discussion</a> is actually going to be <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216618304302?casa_token=y7CoCCptr6AAAAAA:LCHuB6-BRaH4HPIothLVX_ENhSPlfshapdyvxzk9LjlQa24WJyRM4sXF2_bFp6oiWAfWnsVIoK8">productive</a>.</p> <p>At the end of the day, it’s also worth considering what makes a person or conversation “difficult”. Assigning that word to someone <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1468-2885.2001.tb00234.x?casa_token=g5XfR-FKNLEAAAAA:GFvy6M4CY9IHrE51_NTEJDNgf6bdPqJZPX2Q2KZStBesgv8UIJDj7YTBnVMOSpRCDRWbX-DsmkQFaWQ">is not a neutral or objective</a> statement. Maybe you, in fact, are the “difficult person”. Maybe, for some kinds of conflict, you should want to be difficult. And maybe, sometimes, it’s alright to go outside and let off steam with a snowball fight.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/196751/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, Lecturer in Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/going-home-for-the-holidays-how-to-navigate-conflict-and-deal-with-difficult-people-196751">original article</a>.</em></p>

Family & Pets

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What exactly is a ceasefire, and why is it so difficult to agree on one in Gaza?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marika-sosnowski-1415833">Marika Sosnowski</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>Barely a week after Hamas’ attack on Israeli soldiers and civilians on October 7 and the subsequent airstrikes by the Israeli Defence Force on the Gaza Strip, talk of a ceasefire had already begun.</p> <p>More than five weeks into the war, calls for a ceasefire have only grown louder. Visiting the White House this week, Indonesian President Joko Widodo <a href="https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2023/11/14/indonesian-president-joko-widodo-urges-biden-to-help-end-gaza-atrocities">said</a>, a “ceasefire is a must for the sake of humanity.”</p> <p>Israel has thus far <a href="https://apnews.com/article/israel-hamas-war-news-11-11-2023-d4d272416107c02e63dabd9548395026">refused</a> to discuss a ceasefire without the release of the 240 hostages being held by Hamas.</p> <p>But what exactly is a ceasefire, and how do they work? And what sort of arrangement would be most effective in Gaza?</p> <h2>Different terms, different meanings</h2> <p>Virtually as old as conflict itself, a ceasefire is an ancient way of formalising a halt to armed violence between warring parties for a certain period of time. Historically, the terms truce and armistice were used as synonyms.</p> <p>Perhaps surprisingly, international humanitarian law has <a href="https://www.chathamhouse.org/2023/11/humanitarian-pauses-and-ceasefires-what-are-differences">no provisions</a> relating specifically to when ceasefires should be negotiated, what they need to contain or how they need to be applied.</p> <p>It is only in the last 50 years or so that a range of new terminology has become commonplace to describe the phenomenon of a “<a href="https://beyondintractability.org/essay/cease-fire">ceasefire</a>”. These include:</p> <ul> <li> <p><a href="https://ru.usembassy.gov/joint-statement-russian-federation-united-states-syria/">cessation of hostilities</a></p> </li> <li> <p><a href="https://www.thenewhumanitarian.org/news/2017/12/04/un-calls-humanitarian-pause-yemen-conditions-capital-deteriorate">humanitarian pauses</a></p> </li> <li> <p><a href="https://www.peaceagreements.org/viewmasterdocument/2093">de-escalation areas</a></p> </li> <li> <p><a href="https://reliefweb.int/report/sudan/un-call-days-tranquility-bears-fruit-more-five-million-children-have-been-vaccinated">days of tranquility</a> (pauses in fighting to allow for immunisation of children)</p> </li> <li> <p><a href="https://kaldorcentre.unsw.edu.au/sites/kaldorcentre.unsw.edu.au/files/Policy_brief_Creating_safe_zones_and_safe_corridors.pdf">safe zones</a> and safe corridors</p> </li> <li> <p><a href="https://osce.org/stories/osce-mirror-patrols-windows-of-hope-eastern-ukraine">windows of silence</a> (one name given to the 2014 ceasefire in Ukraine).</p> </li> </ul> <p>Many of these terms have been used in the Gaza conflict. For instance, in late October, the UN General Assembly <a href="https://press.un.org/en/2023/ga12548.doc.htm">adopted</a> a resolution calling for an “immediate, durable and sustained humanitarian truce leading to cessation of hostilities”.</p> <p>In the Security Council, the US has <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-67320520">called</a> for “humanitarian pauses”, but not a “ceasefire”. Russia, meanwhile, has <a href="https://news.un.org/en/story/2023/10/1142427">demanded</a> a “humanitarian ceasefire”, but is unhappy with a “truce” or “pauses”.</p> <p>This week, Hamas said it is willing to <a href="https://www.france24.com/en/middle-east/20231113-%F0%9F%94%B4-live-more-gaza-hospitals-halt-operations-as-israeli-assault-continues">release</a> 70 hostages in exchange for a five-day “truce”.</p> <p>Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has previously <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/nov/04/gaza-ceasefire-talks-ongoing-despite-israeli-pm-rejecting-pause-says-us">rejected</a> a “temporary truce”, but under pressure from the US, has agreed this week to <a href="https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2023/11/10/will-israels-humanitarian-pauses-mean-much-for-gaza-no-say-experts">implement</a> daily four-hour “humanitarian pauses”.</p> <p>While there have been <a href="https://ukraine.un.org/en/174777-glossary-humanitarian-terms-pauses-during-conflict">attempts</a> to differentiate between these terms, states continue to place different emphasis or apply different meanings to them in ad hoc ways. This makes finding common ground difficult.</p> <h2>What could be achieved in Gaza instead</h2> <p>So, if we have no common definitions as a starting point, how do parties come to any useful or enforceable agreement on a ceasefire?</p> <p>Thus far in Gaza, the answer has mostly been they don’t. It may be simplistic to say that words are what we use as humans to make sense of and order the world, but in this context, specifics matter.</p> <p>Arguably, in focusing so squarely on getting to a halt in fighting (whatever we want to call that), we lose sight of many other important factors and actions that may or may not fall under the broad and open-to-interpretation umbrella term of “ceasefire”.</p> <p>For example, Israel and Hamas might find agreement if negotiators focused on more specific details or issues, such as:</p> <ul> <li> <p>the amount of ordnance being used by both sides on a daily basis, and what kind of ordnance</p> </li> <li> <p>where or what is targeted by both sides</p> </li> <li> <p>the number of aid convoys allowed into Gaza, where they would come from, where they would go and what they would be carrying</p> </li> <li> <p>the number and/or nationality of hostages to be released and at what regularity.</p> </li> </ul> <p>I am not a negotiator and this is not an exhaustive list. What it hopes to illustrate is that efforts for a grand-bargain-type ceasefire should not be prioritised over more nuanced, and perhaps tangible, efforts for other types of lulls in fighting.</p> <h2>How ceasefires can be problematic</h2> <p>At the same time, it should not be forgotten that ceasefires can have unintended consequences. Often these consequences are far from beneficial, positive or humanitarian – the kinds of things we expect from a ceasefire.</p> <p>For example, in Syria, local <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2021/06/18/do-ceasefires-syria-work-we-checked-data/">ceasefires</a> and reconciliation agreements have been used during the civil war to allow for the evacuation of citizens from their homes in places like <a href="https://paxforpeace.nl/publications/no-return-to-homs/#:%7E:text=The%2520report%2520'No%2520Return%2520to,cities%2520and%2520neighbourhoods%2520in%2520Syria.">Old Homs</a> and <a href="https://www.middleeasteye.net/opinion/besiege-bombard-retake-reconciliation-agreements-syria">Daraya</a>.</p> <p>Subsequently, a raft of presidential decrees were enacted that enabled the Syrian regime to permanently reappropriate their properties. State-backed <a href="https://www.brookings.edu/articles/beyond-fragility-syria-and-the-challenges-of-reconstruction-in-fierce-states/">reconstruction</a> and development projects such as Basila City (which ironically means “Peace City” in old Aramaic), Marouta and Homs Dream were then built on the land acquired via the ceasefire agreements.</p> <p>Likewise, during the Russian invasion of Ukraine, <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/evacuation-route-offered-fleeing-ukrainians-mined-1685418">humanitarian corridors</a> were implemented that allowed people from the besieged city of Mariupol to evacuate. Shortly afterwards, however, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky <a href="https://www.novinite.com/articles/214156/Zelensky+accused+Russia+of+Mining+Humanitarian+Corridors">accused</a> Russia of laying landmines within the corridors to thwart civilians’ ability to flee.</p> <p>In another example, humanitarian corridors that Russia <a href="https://www.reuters.com/markets/asia/top-wrap-1-ukrainians-trapped-besieged-city-fighting-blocks-evacuation-efforts-2022-03-07/">proposed</a> setting up would not lead civilians to safety, but rather into Russia or its close ally Belarus.</p> <p>Israel has similarly announced “<a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-10-16/israel-announces-another-safe-passage-for-gazans-to-move-south">safe corridors</a>” enabling <a href="https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2023/11/10/will-israels-humanitarian-pauses-mean-much-for-gaza-no-say-experts">mass displacement</a> of civilians from the north to the south of the country. The relocation is <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/oct/13/israel-hamas-war-latest-gaza-residents-told-move-ground-assault">supposedly</a> for civilians’ own safety, despite the fact airstrikes are killing civilians there, too. Many also <a href="https://www.newarab.com/news/egypt-israeli-safe-zones-gaza-prelude-displacement">fear</a> the supposed “safe corridors” could lead to a permanent displacement of Gazans.</p> <p>Israel has reportedly also canvassed support for a <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/05/world/middleeast/israel-egypt-gaza.html#:%7E:text=Israeli%2520leaders%2520and%2520diplomats%2520have,the%2520border%2520in%2520neighboring%2520Egypt.">humanitarian corridor</a> that would direct Palestinians towards the Sinai peninsula in Egypt, in effect making them an Egyptian problem with little possibility of return. The idea has unsurprisingly been rejected by both the Palestinians and Egypt.</p> <h2>A ceasefire is only the beginning</h2> <p>Despite all this, ceasefires are perhaps the best-formalised tools humans have so far devised to halt the violence of armed conflict for a time.</p> <p>Therefore, given the suffering of civilians on both sides in the Israel-Hamas conflict, it is imperative some form of ceasefire happens. However, we should not be blinded by calls for a ceasefire (whatever terms are used), but stay alert to the hazards that ceasefires can themselves create.</p> <p>In any case, a ceasefire that stops violence for four hours, four days or four months will only be the beginning of the more challenging work that needs to be done to bring meaningful and long-term security and stablity to both Palestinians and Israelis.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/217683/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marika-sosnowski-1415833"><em>Marika Sosnowski</em></a><em>, Postdoctoral research fellow, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-exactly-is-a-ceasefire-and-why-is-it-so-difficult-to-agree-on-one-in-gaza-217683">original article</a>.</em></p>

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Why it’s so difficult to figure out what to do with your life – and three steps to take

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marina-milosheva-1337343">Marina Milosheva</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edinburgh-napier-university-696">Edinburgh Napier University</a></em></p> <p>What do you want to be when you grow up?</p> <p>Practically from the moment you start talking, you’re asked this question. As a child, you’re encouraged to make decisions about school subjects, activities and higher education, all in pursuit of a future career.</p> <p>These decisions, which have major repercussions for how the rest of your life will unfold, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/careers/young-people-take-career-decisions-too-early">are often hastily made</a>.</p> <p>Careers advice can be challenging to navigate and tends to focus on <a href="https://www.bi.team/blogs/moments-of-choice-how-young-people-make-career-decisions/">“moments of choice”</a>: those crucial transition points at which you need to make career decisions, such as when leaving secondary school.</p> <p>However, <a href="https://www.careersandenterprise.co.uk/media/m31lm1qo/moments_of_choice_report.pdf">“moments of inspiration”</a> are equally important. These are the times in which you are free to reflect on what you would really like to do, free of pressure or external influence.</p> <p>Many young professionals in their 20s and 30s find themselves trapped in the wrong job. Some feel unfulfilled, while others feel that they are overeducated and that <a href="https://news.sky.com/story/millions-stuck-in-the-wrong-job-study-finds-10968708">their talents are underutilised</a>.</p> <p>According to the latest figures from the Office for National Statistics, one in three graduates are <a href="https://www.ons.gov.uk/news/news/oneinthreegraduatesovereducatedfortheircurrentrole">overeducated for their current role</a>. By 2030, things are expected to tip in the other direction: the rapidly changing work landscape might cause millions of UK workers to become <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/future-of-work/the-future-of-work-rethinking-skills-to-tackle-the-uks-looming-talent-shortage">underskilled</a> in digital, decision-making, communication and leadership skills.</p> <h2>Why is it so hard to figure out what to do with your life?</h2> <p>Career decisions are a balancing act. You have to align your interests and aptitudes with the current demands of the labour market, neither of which are static entities.</p> <p>Your skills and interests (<a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781118970843.ch53">and to some extent, even your personality</a>) change over time, and the labour market is in a constant state of flux. The pandemic-related increases in vacancies in <a href="https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/how-has-the-pandemic-affected-industries-and-labour-in-the-uk/">certain sectors</a> and the potential effect of automation on the <a href="https://www.pwc.co.uk/economic-services/assets/international-impact-of-automation-feb-2018.pdf">displacement of jobs in others</a> are just two examples of labour market trends that you may need to consider.</p> <p>Here are three ways to figure out what you want to do with your life.</p> <h2>1. Set a career goal</h2> <p>While many people conflate the terms <a href="https://napier-repository.worktribe.com/output/2747064/new-information-literacy-horizons-making-the-case-for-career-information-literacy">“work” and “career”</a>, I take care in my research to distinguish between them. While work refers to employment, career is something different. It is a continuing personal development project.</p> <p>It begins not on the first day of a new job, but by setting career goals. These goals depend on your strengths and interests and, above all, on your values.</p> <p>There are many ways to approach the task of goal-setting, either on your own or with the help of others. As a starting point, you could complete a career quiz (such as this fun one called <a href="https://animalme.myworldofwork.co.uk/">Animal Me</a>) or reflect on where you see yourself in five or ten years.</p> <p>Consider what you most enjoy doing and what you excel at. What tasks and experiences do you find most fulfilling and rewarding?</p> <p>If you don’t know your strengths or what you might enjoy doing, talk to others who know you well. Family members, friends and coworkers may be able to help you see yourself and what you bring to the table through their eyes.</p> <h2>2. Make a plan</h2> <p>The next step is to gather information on how you can achieve your vision, and set milestones along the way.</p> <p>If you’re looking to change career direction, you would first need to find out if you need training, work experience or further education. You would then need to identify specific companies or institutions in your area that match the criteria you have set out in your plan.</p> <p>If you’re after a more minor career adjustment, you might have fewer steps to go through. You could consider different roles that you are already qualified to do, or look through the job openings at your current company.</p> <p>If you feel stuck, you can get in touch with your local career service for free and impartial career information, advice and guidance. In the UK, these are the <a href="https://nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/">National Careers Service</a> (England), <a href="https://www.skillsdevelopmentscotland.co.uk/what-we-do/scotlands-careers-services/our-centres/">Skills Development Scotland</a> and <a href="https://careerswales.gov.wales/">Careers Wales</a>.</p> <p>And if you’re feeling bold, you could also contact people who are in your dream job and ask them how they got there.</p> <h2>3. Find decent and meaningful work</h2> <p>Until you figure out that dream role, you should try to look for what careers scholars such as <a href="https://careerguidancesocialjustice.wordpress.com/2021/08/24/everyone-has-a-right-to-a-decent-and-dignified-life-that-includes-a-meaningful-career-an-interview-with-david-blustein/">David Blustein</a> and <a href="https://iep.utm.edu/sen-cap/">Amartya Sen</a> have described as decent and meaningful work.</p> <p><a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00407/full">Decent work</a> upholds the basic principles of social justice and human rights. You will know that you are in a decent job when you are fairly compensated, your role is not precarious, and work does not make you chronically stressed or ill.</p> <p>Meaningful work is aligned with your values and lets you achieve the kind of life that you value. Any work can be meaningful work, as long as it is compatible with what you consider to be important.</p> <p>A meaningful job can be one that allows you to have a good work-life balance, or one that comes with high pay. It could be a job that helps others, or one that lets you express yourself creatively. It could also be a job that facilitates your personal growth or a job that contributes to the greater good.</p> <p>Career planning takes time, but so does being stuck in the wrong job. British people spend an average of <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/british-people-work-days-lifetime-overtime-quit-job-survey-study-a8556146.html">3,507 days at work</a> over their lives. Why not spend that time doing something you love?<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/209266/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marina-milosheva-1337343"><em>Marina Milosheva</em></a><em>, PhD Candidate, Social Informatics, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edinburgh-napier-university-696">Edinburgh Napier University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-its-so-difficult-to-figure-out-what-to-do-with-your-life-and-three-steps-to-take-209266">original article</a>.</em></p>

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‘Why didn’t we know?’ is no excuse. Non-Indigenous Australians must listen to the difficult historical truths told by First Nations people

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heidi-norman-859">Heidi Norman</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anne-maree-payne-440459">Anne Maree Payne</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a></em></p> <p>Big things are being asked of history in 2023. Later this year, we will vote in the referendum to enshrine an Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander representative body – the <a href="https://theconversation.com/10-questions-about-the-voice-to-parliament-answered-by-the-experts-207014">Voice to Parliament</a> – in the Australian constitution.</p> <p>The Voice was introduced through the Uluru Statement from the Heart, which outlines reforms to advance treaty and truth, in that order. And it calls for “truth telling about our history”.</p> <p>Truth-telling has been key to restoring trust and repairing relationships in post-conflict settings around the world. Historical truth-telling is increasingly seen as an important part of restorative justice in settler-colonial contexts.</p> <p>The UN recognises the “<a href="https://www.un.org/en/observances/right-to-truth-day">right to truth</a>”. It’s important to restore dignity to victims of human rights violations – and to ensure such violations never happen again. But there’s also a collective right to understand historical oppression.</p> <p>The Uluru Statement, too, <a href="https://theconversation.com/first-nations-people-have-made-a-plea-for-truth-telling-by-reckoning-with-its-past-australia-can-finally-help-improve-our-future-202137">sees truth-telling</a> as essential for achieving justice for Australia’s First Nations people.</p> <p>A successful “Yes” referendum outcome has the potential to make history. The Voice will structure a more effective relationship between Aboriginal nations or peoples and government. It will better represent Indigenous interests and rights in Australia’s policy development and service delivery.</p> <p>However modest this reform, the Voice is outstanding business for the nation.</p> <p>But the Uluru statement’s call for “truth-telling about our history” will prove more difficult.</p> <h2>Barriers to ‘truth hearing’</h2> <p>“Why didn’t we know?” non-Indigenous Australians still lament when confronted with accounts of past violence and injustice against Indigenous Australians, despite decades of curriculum reform.</p> <p>Our current research reflects on the barriers to “truth hearing”. The barriers are not just structural. Negative attitudes need to be overcome, too. Researchers have noted <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/340480495_NEW_Preface">the levels of</a> “disaffection, disinterest and denial of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander history”. They’ve also lamented the piecemeal nature of current educational approaches.</p> <p><a href="https://www.newsouthbooks.com.au/books/historys-children_history-wars-in-the-classroom/">Anna Clark’s research</a> on attitudes in schools towards learning Australia history – particularly Indigenous history – shows that students experience Australian history as both repetitive and incomplete, “taught to death but not in-depth”.</p> <p>Bain Attwood has <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/48554763">convincingly argued</a> that early settler denial of the violence of Indigenous dispossession was followed by a century of historical denial. History as a discipline, he argues, needs to reckon with the truth about its own role in supporting <a href="https://theconversation.com/truth-telling-and-giving-back-how-settler-colonials-are-coming-to-terms-with-painful-family-histories-145165">settler colonialism</a>.</p> <h2>50+ years of Aboriginal history</h2> <p>For more than 50 years, historians have produced an enormous body of work that’s brought Aboriginal perspectives and experiences into most areas of Australian history – including gender, class, race, <a href="https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-when-did-australias-human-history-begin-87251">deep history</a> and global histories.</p> <p>Until the late 1970s, academic interest in Aboriginal worlds was led by mostly white anthropologists and their gaze was set to the traditional north. But historians were then challenged to address the “silence” of their profession when it came to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples. They needed to write them into history.</p> <p>This meant “restoring” the Aboriginal worlds omitted in the Australian history texts of the 20th century. This called for new ways of doing research: oral history, re-evaluating the archive, drawing on a wider range of sources than the official and written text.</p> <p>Today, some historians work with scientists and traditional knowledge holders to tell stories over much longer time periods. For example, Australian National University’s <a href="https://re.anu.edu.au/">Centre for Deep History</a> is exploring Australia’s deep past, with the aim of expanding history’s time, scale and scope.</p> <p>And the <a href="https://www.monash.edu/arts/monash-indigenous-studies/global-encounters-and-first-nations-peoples">Global Encounters and First Nations Peoples</a> Monash project, led by Lynette Russell, applies interdisciplinary approaches to consider a range of encounters by First Nations peoples over the past millennium, challenging the view that the Australian history “began” with British colonisation.</p> <p>On the other side of the sandstone gates, an incredible flourishing of historically informed Aboriginal creative works has taken centre stage in Australian cultural life. This includes biographies, memoirs, literature, painting, documentary and performance: often with large audiences and readerships. They are all forms of truth-telling.</p> <p>In <a href="https://press.anu.edu.au/publications/black-words-white-page">Black Words, White Page</a> (2004), Adam Shoemaker details the extent of Aboriginal writing focused on Australian history from 1929 to 1988: writers like <a href="https://ia.anu.edu.au/biography/noonuccal-oodgeroo-18057">Oodgeroo Noonuccal</a>, <a href="https://ia.anu.edu.au/biography/davis-jack-17788">Jack Davis</a>, <a href="https://ia.anu.edu.au/biography/gilbert-kevin-john-18569">Kevin Gilbert</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/charles-perkins-forced-australia-to-confront-its-racist-past-his-fight-for-justice-continues-today-139303">Charles Perkins</a>.</p> <p>This body of work – and much more since – conveys an Aboriginal interpretation of past events, through oral history and veneration of leaders and heroes, drawing together the past and future.</p> <p>Some early examples include Wiradjuri man Robert (Bobby) Merritt’s <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-great-australian-plays-the-cake-man-and-the-indigenous-mission-experience-88854">The Cake Man</a> (1975), set on a rural mission, which explores causes of despair, particularly for Aboriginal men. It was performed by the then newly formed <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Black_Theatre_(Australia)">Black Theatre</a> in Redfern in the same year it was published.</p> <p>Indigenous autobiographies, like Ruby Langford Ginibi’s <a href="https://www.uqp.com.au/books/dont-take-your-love-to-town-2">Don’t Take Your Love to Town</a> (1988), just reissued in UQP’s First Nations Classics series, and Rita Huggins’ biography <a href="https://shop.aiatsis.gov.au/products/auntie-rita-revised-edition">Auntie Rita</a> (1994) are realist accounts of Aboriginal lives, devoid of moralism or victimology.</p> <p>Many more have followed, including Tara June Winch’s novel <a href="https://theconversation.com/the-yield-wins-the-miles-franklin-a-powerful-story-of-violence-and-forms-of-resistance-142284">The Yield</a> (2019), winner of the 2020 Stella prize for literature. Through Wiradjuri language, she gathers the history of invasion and loss – and survival in the present.</p> <p>Indigenous artists are exploring ways to represent the past in the present: overlaid, but still present and continuous. Jonathon Jones’ 2020 <a href="https://mhnsw.au/whats-on/exhibitions/untitled-maraong-manaouwi/">artwork</a> to commemorate the reopening of the Sydney Hyde Park Barracks, built originally in 1817 to house convicts, is one example.</p> <p>Jones <a href="https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=374269496789482">explained</a> the installation’s interchangeable use of the broad arrow and maraong manaóuwi (emu footprint) as a matter of perspective: one observer will see the emu print, another the broad arrow.</p> <p>Each marker, within its own sphere of significance, served similar purposes. The emu print is known to be engraved into the sandstone ledges of the Sydney basin and marked a people and their place. The broad arrow inscribed institutional place and direction. Jones wants to show how the landscape can be written over – but never lost – to those who hold its memory.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/WPGcFDw5c_s?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Jonathan Jones’ artwork is part of an incredible flourishing of historically informed Aboriginal creative works.</span></figcaption></figure> <p><a href="https://www.uapcompany.com/projects/the-eyes-of-the-land-and-the-sea">The Eyes of the Land and the Sea</a>, by artists Alison Page and Nik Lachajczak, commemorates the 250th anniversary of the 1770 encounter between Aboriginal Australians and Lt James Cook’s crew of the <em>HMB Endeavour</em> at Kamay Botany Bay National Park. This work, too, represents the duality of interpretation and meaning. The monumental bronze sculpture takes the form of the rib bones of a whale – and simultaneously, the hull of the <em>HMB Endeavour</em>.</p> <p>This body of work by dedicated educators, researchers, artists and families has been highly contested.</p> <h2>Truth-telling, healing and restorative justice</h2> <p>Many non-Indigenous Australians are interested in – but anxious about – truth-telling, our early research findings suggest. They don’t know how to get involved and are unsure about their role. Indigenous respondents are deeply committed to truth-telling. But they have anxieties about the process, too.</p> <p>Only 6% of non-Indigenous respondents to Reconciliation Australia’s most recent <a href="https://www.reconciliation.org.au/publication/2022-australian-reconciliation-barometer/">Reconciliation Barometer report</a> had participated in a truth-telling activity (processes that seek to engage with a fuller account of Australian history and its ongoing legacy for First Nations peoples) in the previous 12 months. However, 43% of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander respondents had participated in truth-telling.</p> <p>Truth-telling is seen as an important part of healing, but there is uncertainty about its potential to deliver a more just future for First Nations peoples. And it’s acknowledged that <a href="https://theconversation.com/albanese-is-promising-truth-telling-in-our-australian-education-system-heres-what-needs-to-happen-191420">truth-telling</a> might emphasise divisions and differences between Indigenous and non-Indigenous Australians. There are also concerns about <a href="https://theconversation.com/more-than-half-of-australians-will-experience-trauma-most-before-they-turn-17-we-need-to-talk-about-it-159801">trauma</a> and issues of cultural safety.</p> <p>But during the regional dialogues that led to the Uluru Statement from the Heart, the demand for truth-telling was unanimous from the Indigenous community representatives. Constitutional reform should only proceed if it “tells the truth of history”, they agreed. This was a key guiding principle that emerged from the process.</p> <p>Why does truth-telling remain a central demand? The final report of the <a href="https://www.aph.gov.au/constitutionalrecognition">Joint Select Committee on Constitutional Recognition relating to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples</a> described its multiple dimensions.</p> <p>Truth-telling is a foundational requirement for healing and reconciliation. It’s also a form of restorative justice – and a process for Indigenous people to share their culture and history with the broader community. It builds wider understanding of the intergenerational trauma experienced by Indigenous Australians. And it creates awareness of the relationship between past injustices and contemporary issues.</p> <p>“Truth-telling cannot be just a massacre narrative in which First Nations peoples are yet again dispossessed of agency and identity,” <a href="https://research.usq.edu.au/item/q6316/teaching-as-truth-telling-a-demythologising-pedagogy-for-the-australian-frontier-wars">argue</a> Indigenous educators Alison Bedford and Vince Wall. Indigenous agency and the long struggle for Indigenous rights need to be recognised.</p> <p>And there is an ongoing need to deconstruct Australia’s national foundational myths. A focus on military engagements overseas has obscured the violent dispossession of First Nations Australians at home. As Ann Curthoys argued more than two decades ago, white Australians positioned themselves as heroic strugglers to cement their moral claim to the land. This myth overlooked their role in dispossessing First Nations people.</p> <h2>Makarrata Commission</h2> <p>The Uluru Statement called for <a href="https://theconversation.com/response-to-referendum-council-report-suggests-a-narrow-path-forward-on-indigenous-constitutional-reform-80315">a Makarrata Commission</a> to be established to oversee “agreement-making” and “truth-telling” processes between governments and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.</p> <p>As part of its commitment to the full implementation of the Uluru Statement from the Heart, the current federal government committed $5.8 million in funding in 2022 to start the work of establishing the Commission.</p> <p>Yet few details have been provided so far about the form truth-telling mechanisms might adopt. And there’s been little acknowledgement that the desire to “tell the truth” about the past runs counter to the contemporary study of history, which sees history as a complex and ongoing process – rather than a set of fixed “facts” or “truths”.</p> <p>Worimi historian <a href="https://www.newcastle.edu.au/profile/john-maynard">John Maynard</a> describes Aboriginal history research as generative: the work reinforces and sustains Aboriginal worlds – and it reflects a yearning for truth by Aboriginal people that was denied.</p> <p>The impact of colonisation not only targeted the fracturing of Aboriginal people but, as Maynard says, “a state of forgetting and detachment from our past”. Wiradjuri historian <a href="https://researchers.anu.edu.au/researchers/bamblett-l">Lawrence Bamblett</a> develops a similar theme. “Our stories are our survival,” <a href="https://onesearch.slq.qld.gov.au/discovery/fulldisplay?vid=61SLQ_INST:SLQ&amp;search_scope=Everything&amp;tab=All&amp;docid=alma9915551944702061&amp;lang=en&amp;context=L&amp;adaptor=Local%20Search%20Engine&amp;query=sub,exact,Australia%20--%20Race%20relations%20--%20History,AND&amp;mode=advanced&amp;offset=10">he says</a>, in his account of Aboriginal approaches to history.</p> <p>Consider the dedicated labour to <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/religion/heidi-norman-bob-weatherall-weve-got-to-bring-them-home/13962068">return Ancestral Remains to their country</a>. Consider the the work of Aboriginal people to restore the graves of their family and community on the old missions. And the work to document sites, such as <a href="https://youtu.be/gTh2rV_VuwQ">Tulladunna cotton chipping Aboriginal camp</a>, on the plains country of north west New South Wales.</p> <p>Some of this dedicated labour to care for the past is made possible by the recognition of Aboriginal land rights. Aboriginal communities are documenting their history in order to communicate across generations – and to create belonging, sustain community futures and know themselves.</p> <p>These processes of documenting and remembering Aboriginal stories of the past are less concerned with the state, and settler hostility. They are <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-the-dark-emu-debate-limits-representation-of-aboriginal-people-in-australia-163006">unburdened by categorising time</a>. The “old people” or “1788” appear irrelevant in the enthusiasm for living social and cultural history.</p> <p>That history is not confined to the “fixed in time” histories called upon in Native Title litigation, or the debates among historians and their detractors over method and evidence. Nor is it confined to the moral weight of such accounts in the national story.</p> <h2>History and political questions</h2> <p>When discussing Aboriginal history, there is an unbreakable link between the history being studied and the present.</p> <p><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presentism_(literary_and_historical_analysis)">Presentism</a> – the concern that the past is interpreted through the lens of the present – and the concept of the “activist historian” can both impact on the way Aboriginal history is perceived or judged. Disdain for “presentism” has leaked into contemporary discussions recently.</p> <p>A <a href="https://www.historians.org/publications-and-directories/perspectives-on-history/september-2022/is-history-history-identity-politics-and-teleologies-of-the-present">widely criticised column</a> by the president of the American Historical Association – James Sweet, a historian of Africa and the African diaspora – is a recent example.</p> <p>He argued that the increasing tendency to interpret the past through the lens of the present, plummeting enrolments in undergraduate history courses and a greater focus on the 20th and 21st centuries all put history at risk of being mobilised “to justify rather than inform contemporary political positions”.</p> <p>These are not new debates. They have taken place within and outside the academy across the world, including in Australia.</p> <p>But the realities of the histories of <a href="https://theconversation.com/eliza-batman-the-irish-convict-reinvented-as-melbournes-founding-mother-was-both-colonised-and-coloniser-on-two-violent-frontiers-206189">colonisation</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/unpapering-the-cracks-sugar-slavery-and-the-sydney-morning-herald-202828">slavery</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/empire-of-delusion-the-sun-sets-on-british-imperial-credibility-89309">imperialism</a> mean they continue to have an impact in the present. Reparations and apologies happen because of the work of historians and others. They are real-world, present impacts of the work being undertaken.</p> <p>It’s the role of historians to understand the past on its own terms – <em>and</em> to produce work relevant to contemporary political questions.</p> <p>Applied (or public) history produces this work. In this work, particularly historical work that sits outside the academy, we do often find “truth telling”. For example, in the important work done for the <a href="https://humanrights.gov.au/our-work/bringing-them-home-report-1997">Bringing them Home</a> Commission, the <a href="https://theconversation.com/indigenous-deaths-in-custody-inquests-can-be-sites-of-justice-or-administrative-violence-158126">Aboriginal Deaths in Custody Royal Commission</a> and Native Title claims in courts.</p> <p>But somehow, these efforts at truth-telling – and other historical research conducted since colonisation – seem not to have impacted on the overall “history” of Australia.</p> <h2>Forgetting and resistance</h2> <p>As the referendum vote edges closer, Australians are being asked to make provisions for the First Peoples to have a role in the political process – and the decisions that impact them.</p> <p>The challenge to address the “<a href="https://theconversation.com/friday-essay-the-great-australian-silence-50-years-on-100737">Great Australian Silence</a>” – to include First Peoples in the stories of the nation, where they were otherwise omitted – has been largely addressed by the significant body of historical work added over the last 50 or more years. That work, and the correction it has delivered, has generated discomfort and hostility.</p> <p>Yet Australians’ appreciation – and even awareness – of the history of its First Nations people remains deeply unsatisfactory.</p> <p>There is now little justification for the laments <em>Why weren’t we told?</em> or <em>How come we didn’t know?</em>. Our undergraduate students continue to ask these questions, though.</p> <p>Australia has a difficult relationship – a kind of historical amnesia; a forgetting and resistance – to hearing those First Nations stories. That resistance is much deeper than simply being <em>told</em>.</p> <p>The current focus on truth-telling will once again draw our attention to dealing with difficult history. This time, different questions need to be asked.</p> <p>Not <em>why didn’t I know</em>? But <em>how can I find out</em>?</p> <hr /> <p><em>Heidi Norman and Anne Maree Payne will be presenting their research at the upcoming 50th Milestones Anniversary of the Australian Historical Association. Heidi will deliver the keynote address, <a href="https://web-eur.cvent.com/event/f99aac02-b195-46e5-b1d9-bf5183aea6fc/websitePage:150e8a3c-395b-4de3-bf2b-98ac8be5929e">The End of Aboriginal History?</a><!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/208780/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></em></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heidi-norman-859">Heidi Norman</a>, Professor, Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/anne-maree-payne-440459">Anne Maree Payne</a>, Senior Lecturer, Centre for the Advancement of Indigenous Knowledges, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-technology-sydney-936">University of Technology Sydney</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/why-didnt-we-know-is-no-excuse-non-indigenous-australians-must-listen-to-the-difficult-historical-truths-told-by-first-nations-people-208780">original article</a>.</em></p>

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“Extremely difficult”: Woman forced to live in car for over two years

<p> A Queensland woman has revealed the “extremely lonely” reality of living in her car.</p> <p>Wendy lived in shared accommodation for seven years, with a weekly room rent upwards of $200 a week.</p> <p>With the rent increases showing no signs of slowing down, the 52-year-old found herself living in her car for the past two and a half years.</p> <p>She has shared some tips for those in the same boat.</p> <p>“Downsize to the bare necessities you need, with just those few little luxuries like a good coffee and the barbecues,” Wendy said.</p> <p>She allows herself some luxuries, such as a gym membership, so she can have a shower, coffee and the occasional hot dinner.</p> <p>If she can’t keep up with her gym payments, Wendy exercises until she’s warm and hops into one of the cold public showers.</p> <p>She worked in construction cleaning, but the early start and late finishes became too difficult.</p> <p>“Transforming my car into a cleaning business was, as you can imagine, a bit unhygienic,” she said.</p> <p>She relies on welfare to get by, which is “extremely hard”.</p> <p>Wendy has a storage shed to help her keep some of her belongings, but the cost of that will see an increase from $45 to $60 a week,</p> <p>“I’m now going to even be pushed out of the storage,” she said.</p> <p>Wendy can access fresh food just once a fortnight when she visits Encircle Redcliffe Neighbourhood Centre, Queensland, otherwise, she’s stuck with a 3-day time frame of storing food in her car.</p> <p>Now with winter just around the corner, she parks her car in underground car parks to shelter from the elements.</p> <p>“As soon as they see you on camera, they’re concerned about me being there,” she said.</p> <p>“So I will be kicked out of there soon too.”</p> <p>It feels as though those in power have “turned a blind eye” to the reality of the housing crisis, Wendy said.</p> <p>“There’s no help out there for us, I’ve applied for housing and been denied.”</p> <p>The extra $40 announced in the federal budget for people on welfare was “definitely not enough”, Wendy said.</p> <p>Even going to the doctor has become “extremely hard”, Wendy said, as many have stopped bulk billing, which has forced her to travel further to find those who do so.</p> <p>She’s now facing car troubles, which only furthers her challenging situation.</p> <p>“I’m only using my car if it’s really necessary,” she said.</p> <p>Aside from discomfort, Wendy confessed living out of her car was “extremely lonely”.</p> <p>“It’s intimidating when people are walking past and staring at you — you feel like an extreme oddball in this world.”</p> <p><em>Image credit: 7NEWS</em></p>

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Why difficult childhood experiences could make you age prematurely

<p>We know that comparatively disadvantaged people, even in rich countries, have worse health and <a href="https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2017/01/31/low-socioeconomic-status-affects-life-expectancy-more-than-obesi_a_21704449/">shorter life expectancy</a> than others. But what is it exactly about socioeconomic disadvantage and other environmental difficulties that affects our biology? And at what age are we most vulnerable to these effects?</p> <p>While it is unclear exactly how the social environment influences a person’s biology at the molecular level, processes related to ageing are likely to be involved. One such process is DNA methylation, a mechanism used by cells to control gene expression. Specifically, it determines whether and when a gene is turned on, turned off or dialled up or down. Now a new study, <a href="https://academic.oup.com/aje/advance-article/doi/10.1093/aje/kwy155/5060528?guestAccessKey=df5d8e87-4e2d-4bff-b0fb-72ad5319f825#119252619">published in the American Journal of Epidemiology</a>, suggests that this process may be affected by circumstances in our youth – ultimately affecting how we age.</p> <p>All cells in the human body – from blood and skin cells to neurons – share the same genetic code. So how are they so different? The answer lies in gene expression: which of the many thousands of genes in each human cell are switched on, to what extent, and at which stage in the cell’s development.</p> <p>This varies not just between cell types but between people, helping to explain why identical twins can be visibly different. Physically, DNA methylation involves modification of “letters” of the genetic code by addition or removal of a <a href="https://www.britannica.com/science/methyl-group">methyl group</a> – affecting how much the gene is expressed. Because the distribution of methyl groups along the genome changes in systematic ways with ageing, you can estimate a person’s age from DNA methylation patterns in cells from a blood sample by applying an algorithm.</p> <p>This <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-epigenetics-may-help-us-slow-down-the-ageing-clock-76878">measure of “biological age”</a> is relevant to longevity – individuals with an “older” DNA methylation age are at greater risk of age-related disease and mortality. Meanwhile, it seems environmental influences may alter or “accelerate” age-related changes in methylation: associations have been shown between DNA methylation age and stress, dietary factors and pollution. This suggests DNA methylation age may be one pathway by which the social environment can affect health.</p> <p><strong>New data</strong></p> <p>Data was used from 1099 adults in the UK to look at whether different dimensions of socioeconomic disadvantage were linked to elevated DNA methylation age, calculated in two ways. When blood samples were collected, the survey had already collected annual information on the same people’s socioeconomic circumstances for 12 years. This meant the study was able to consider current and longer-term measures of things like income, employment status and educational qualifications. Crucially, this data also included information about the occupational social class of an individual’s parents when they were 14.</p> <p>The research discovered that only the last measure showed a clear link with DNA methylation age. Individuals whose parents worked in semi routine or routine occupations were about one year “older” than individuals whose parents worked in managerial or professional roles. Individuals who did not have working parents, or had parents who had died, fared still worse: they were 2.4 or 1.85 years older depending on the algorithm used. The calculations did take account of other relevant factors including smoking, body mass index and the actual age of the study participants.</p> <p>These results suggest DNA methylation age is an aspect of a person’s biology which is vulnerable to influences early in life, but surprisingly robust when it comes to difficulties experienced in adulthood. The next question is which aspects of the childhood socioeconomic environment are most relevant. Is it financial strain, housing quality or diet? Equally important will be to figure out which factors could provide resilience to these effects, potentially buffering children from a lasting impact of disadvantage on DNA methylation age.</p> <p>Of course, the results will need to be replicated, and since DNA methylation age was only measured once, the survey could not definitively prove cause and effect. But the results <a href="https://jech.bmj.com/content/62/5/387">add to extensive evidence</a> that early life circumstances can cast a long shadow on adult health. Perhaps most importantly, this strengthens the case for making sure all children are fully supported.</p> <p><em>Written by Amanda Hughes and Meena Kumari. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/difficult-childhood-experiences-could-make-us-age-prematurely-new-research-102807">theconversation.com</a>.</em></p> <p><em>Image credit: Shutterstock</em></p>

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“I can finally see a new me”: Bindi Irwin shares update on difficult diagnosis

<p dir="ltr">Bindi Irwin has taken to social media to assure her supporters that she is on a journey to “better health” one week after revealing her endometriosis diagnosis. </p> <p dir="ltr">The Australian sweetheart shared a picture of herself sitting up in bed, smiling, with a beautiful bouquet of red roses in her arms. For her caption, Bindi stated that she was in the process of healing, and then took the opportunity to thank her followers for their “kind words and stories of strength” from their own endometriosis experiences. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I can finally see a new me on the journey towards better health,” she said. “I can’t wait to be able to focus all my energy on our family.”</p> <p dir="ltr">In true Irwin fashion, Bindi mentioned “the conservation work we are so passionate about”, and sent her “love and light” out to everyone reading. </p> <p dir="ltr">Seven days prior, <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/how-did-you-live-with-this-much-pain-bindi-irwin-hospitalised">Bindi had thanked friends, family, and fans alike</a> for “for encouraging me to find answers when I thought I’d never climb out. Thank you to the doctors &amp; nurses who believed my pain. I’m on the road to recovery &amp; the gratitude I feel is overwhelming.”</p> <p dir="ltr">And now, the wildlife warrior - and ‘endo warrior’ - received a fresh flood of encouragement and support for this next phase of her health journey, with many delighted to hear that the 24-year-old was taking the time to focus on her recovery. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cpxpeh1OrOg/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cpxpeh1OrOg/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Bindi Irwin (@bindisueirwin)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“Good, get plenty of rest and feel better soon. Thank you so much for spreading so much awareness for us endo warriors,” wrote one fan. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Take all the time and healing you need, you’re such a strong person Bindi and so many people like myself look up to you and love the things you do in life,” said one. “You just keep focussing on yourself and your little family of yours and take each day at a time.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“So glad you're using this time for physical and emotional healing. You are [a] true light in this world,” wrote another. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Continue to rest up and think of yourself and your healing, which can be hard as a mum right?” said English TV personality Jo Frost, before adding “the hubby and the family got the little one, all good. Speedy recovery you darling.” </p> <p dir="ltr">“Bindi you are an inspiration to every woman who follows you,” one follower told her. “Your Dad and Mum had the joy of seeing you grow strong and courageous. I believe you are a beautiful treasure for your fans. God bless you honey and your family.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Meanwhile, one fan struggled to understand how it had taken so long for Bindi - who had shared how she’d been struggling for a decade - to be diagnosed with the condition, writing “Not sure what Dr's are thinking today or doing today...it shouldn't take this long for a diagnosis....”</p> <p dir="ltr">“These last 10yrs have included many tests, doctors visits, scans, etc.,” Bindi wrote in her original post. “A doctor told me it was simply something you deal with as a woman &amp; I gave up entirely, trying to function through the pain.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Doctors often struggle to offer a formal diagnosis as symptoms can be varied, reflect other underlying health issues, and come with great periods of time between symptoms starting - or being noticed - and reaching out for help. </p> <p dir="ltr">But for many in the comments, Bindi sharing her story is a reminder and encouragement for people to continue to advocate for their bodies, and to always fight to get the help they need.</p> <p dir="ltr">As one follower said, referencing the endo journeys of those close to her, “ it’s not a nice disease! It’s crazy how prevalent it is yet still not well understood. Thank you for sharing your experience with us! Wishing you love and healing, Bindi!!”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

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Why Hugh Jackman wanted to "shield" his kids from his difficult upbringing

<p>Hugh Jackman has always known the day would come when he would have to explain his difficult history with his parents to his own kids. </p> <p>The 54-year-old actor, who has long spoken about his challenging childhood, is now wrestling with these awkward conversations, as his role in the the new film <em>The Son</em> has brought up past memories. </p> <p>Hugh has previously said that his mother abandoned him as a child, which he later understood was because she suffered a mental-health crisis at the time, and <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/hugh-jackman-speaks-candidly-about-losing-his-father" target="_blank" rel="noopener">his dad recently died</a> after a long battle with Alzheimer's disease.</p> <p>"Hugh has seen the best and worst of the human condition, and for a long time, he wanted to shield his kids from that," a source told <a href="https://www.nowtolove.com.au/celebrity/celeb-news/hugh-jackman-childhood-75488" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Woman's Day</a>. </p> <p>But now, their adopted children Oscar, 22, and Ava, 17, are learning the truth, even if Hugh's wife Deborra-Lee Furness has her own reservations. </p> <p>Speaking to the media ahead of the premiere of <em>The Son</em>, Hugh says he felt compelled to prepare Oscar and Ava for the film's plot, which tells the story of a complicated family that tries to piece itself back together after falling apart – a story eerily similar to Hugh's own.</p> <p>"It was very important that I talk to them about what it was about, what it meant to me, and why I was doing it," he says.</p> <p>"I took them with me to see it and we had a long conversation. What I find amazing is the generation of 22 to 17-year-olds are totally fine having these conversations. It's more my generation that is a little more sheepish and shy around it."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Veteran Sunrise reporter names and shames difficult celebrities

<p>On his last appearance on <em>Sunrise</em>, veteran entertainment reporter Nelson Aspen has named and shamed the most difficult celebrities to interview. </p> <p>After almost 20 years on the morning show, Nelson is moving on, but decided to drop some celebrity bombshells before he officially bid farewell. </p> <p>When asked to reveal the "duds" of his many celebrity interviews, Aspen offered up a surprising Hollywood star: Vin Diesel.</p> <p>“He is a marvellous interviewer, we just have a great rapport once we talk together, but he has a problem with inconsiderate lateness,” he said of the <em>Fast &amp; Furious</em> actor.</p> <p>“The first time was seven hours late, I sat around. Then I think it was four hours, and then two hours. We work in live TV guys, you can’t be late. You can be three hours early, you can’t be three seconds late. That’s just my pet peeve.”</p> <p>Aspen also named and shamed Kevin Spacey as a less than desirable celebrity interviewee.</p> <p>Nelson, who is based in New York, interviewed Spacey when he played Lex Luthor in the 2006 film <em>Superman Returns</em>.</p> <p>Aspen said he shaved his head before the interview to look like Lex Luthor, because he was “such a Superman freak” and Spacey made him feel stupid for doing it.</p> <p>“He made me feel embarrassed. That was not one of my happier moments,” Aspen said.</p> <p>Nelson also reflected on his favourite celebrities to interview over his time on <em>Sunrise</em>, as he discusses tea parties and singalongs with Julie Andrews and spoke highly of Australia’s own Hugh Jackman.</p> <p>On July 1st, Aspen <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/entertainment/tv/veteran-sunrise-reporter-signs-off-for-good" target="_blank" rel="noopener">announced</a> that he would be leaving <em>Sunrise</em> to focus on his new interiors book, <em>Your Home Is Your Castle</em>.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Sunrise</em></p>

TV

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Simon Baker discusses his "difficult" relationship with his father

<p>Simon Baker has shared emotional family secrets and details of the strained relationship with his father on the SBS hit series <em>Who Do You Think You Are?</em></p> <p>The Aussie actor agreed to do the show after being approached for many years, “despite my mum, sister and kids saying ‘you should do it’.”</p> <p>Eventually he decided to take part in the show, saying “I thought, I’ll just see what kind of adventure it is and where it will all take me.”</p> <p>He discussed the early days of his life after he was born in Launceston in 1969 to his father Barry Baker and mother Elizabeth.</p> <p>“And soon after, my parents moved to the highlands of New Guinea, with two kids, to a remote area,” he says.</p> <p>In the show he summarises the family’s brief time there, saying “They went on this incredible adventure – and they didn’t come back together.” </p> <p>He explains how his young mother went on to remarry, but his father remained in his life under a different persona. </p> <p>“I didn’t know he was my dad. He was a family friend, Uncle Barry. I’ve struggled with that.”</p> <p>A reunion between the two finally took place when Baker was 18 years old, but in the meantime, the family moved to the northern NSW beach community of Lennox Head.</p> <p>“It was a small community and back then it was an idyllic place to live,” Baker says. “I felt a really strong sense of belonging in that place and still do. It was a phenomenal childhood in that regard – but the personal family life was difficult.”</p> <p>Before he appeared on <em>Who Do You Think You Are?,</em> Baker “looked back at my immediate family as this sort of mess,” he says.</p> <p>“But the truth is, families have many different forms and I think if you can look at your own past and the past of your ancestors with compassion, you can carry that forward with you with a little bit more wisdom.”</p> <p>He admitted that revealing the story of his parents was "challenging", and likened his difficult childhood to why he became an actor. </p> <p>“I’m pretty shy … But there is a kind of psychological reason in why I became an actor. The initial desire when I was young was about connecting with people, the idea of seeing someone in a story on a screen that you could identify with, and it could help you understand feelings inside you that you didn’t necessarily know how to articulate. When I watched certain episodes of <em>Who Do You Think You Are?</em>, I felt a connection to that person – and with that, you don’t feel as alone.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: SBS</em></p>

Family & Pets

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‘You Can’t Ask That’ producer shares the most difficult question he’s ever asked

<p dir="ltr">The co-creator and producer of the ABC’s show, <em>You Can’t Ask That</em>, has answered some tough questions of his own, revealing which were the most confronting questions to ask guests.</p> <p dir="ltr">Sydneysider Kirk Docker has interviewed “misunderstood, marginalised” Australians for seven seasons of the ABC show, with the latest season seeing him speak to bogans, models and porn stars across the 30-minute episodes.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-f0d45c06-7fff-b311-655b-92d8d2f13d14"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">While reflecting on his time on the show, Mr Docker said the “most confronting question” he’s asked was during the season seven episode on dementia.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CUJ66MSFi_m/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CUJ66MSFi_m/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Kirk Docker (@kirkdocker)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">The question posed to guests with the incurable condition was: “Do you want to kill yourself before you become a vegetable?”, which Mr Docker described as “insensitive”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“This person knows that they’re deteriorating and the idea of calling them a vegetable, which is what they are going to become, and that you ultimately want to end your life before you become this thing that no one wants, that’s the most horrible thought,” he told the <em><a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/backstory/2022-06-01/making-you-cant-ask-that-kirk-docker-brutal-questions/101115280" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ABC</a></em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I was nervous about asking that, because I knew that it’s a delicate subject matter and it was hard, too, because of the coronavirus, I had to do some of those interviews via the internet, which I don’t really like doing because with those sorts of questions they can’t feel my energy in the room.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The episode tackling postnatal depression, also in season seven, was another difficult one for Mr Docker to get through due to the topic’s sensitive nature.</p> <p dir="ltr">“In this year’s episode on postnatal depression the question, ‘Did you want to hurt your baby?’ I think was a particularly tough question, but the answer, overwhelmingly, was: ‘I was expecting this one to be in there and here’s the truth’,” he explained.</p> <p dir="ltr">Despite the harsh nature of the show, which spans asking bogans “what’s with the mullet?” to questioning overweight people about why they’re fat or don’t exercise, the guests - who are open to sharing their experiences and their stories are treated with respect.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-55ab82fa-7fff-cc0e-ecfa-da96bd2a0246"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Season seven of <em>You Can’t Ask That</em> airs on ABC TV every Wednesday night and is available to watch in its entirety on ABC <a href="https://iview.abc.net.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">iView</a>.</p> <p><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jm8dxs8yRbY" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p dir="ltr"><em><span id="docs-internal-guid-d0a61166-7fff-e1f7-eecd-695065ce9455">Image: ABC TV</span></em></p>

TV

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"World's most difficult shipwreck search" comes to an end

<p>The wreck of Sir Ernest Shackleton’s ship Endurance has been found off the coast of Antarctica 107 years after it sank. The lost ship of the Anglo-Irish explorer had not been seen since it was crushed by ice and sank in the Weddell Sea on the 21st of November, 1915.</p> <p>Last month, the Endurance22 Expedition set off from Cape Town in South Africa on a mission to find the vessel, one month after the 100th anniversary of Sir Ernest’s death.</p> <p>Endurance was finally spotted at a depth of 3008 metres and some six kilometres south of the position recorded by the ship’s Captain Frank Worsley, according to the Falklands Maritime Heritage Trust.</p> <p>Even though the wreck has been sitting in water for more than a century, the expedition’s director of exploration said Endurance was “by far the finest wooden shipwreck” he has ever seen.</p> <p>Mensun Bound, who has now fulfilled a dream ambition in his near 50-year career, said: “We are overwhelmed by our good fortune in having located and captured images of Endurance.</p> <p>“This is a milestone in polar history.”</p> <p>The ship is said to look much the same as when it was photographed for the final time by Shackleton’s filmmaker, Frank Hurley, in 1915. The team even spotted some boots and crockery on board.</p> <p>Mr Bound told the BBC: “Beside the companion way, you can see a porthole that is Shackleton’s cabin.</p> <p>“We found the wreck a hundred years to the day after Shackleton’s funeral. I don’t usually go with this sort of stuff at all, but this one I found a bit spooky.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Huge congratulations to <a href="https://twitter.com/Endurance_22?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@Endurance_22</a> and <a href="https://twitter.com/NatGeo?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@NatGeo</a> for finding the wreck of <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Shackleton?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Shackleton</a>’s <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Endurance?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Endurance</a>. The wreck is amazing but can we also talk about some of the <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Antarctic?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Antarctic</a> sea floor creatures that now call it home! Add any others you spot to the thread! (1) <a href="https://t.co/QULEJkoiW4">pic.twitter.com/QULEJkoiW4</a></p> <p>— Huw Griffiths (@griffiths_huw) <a href="https://twitter.com/griffiths_huw/status/1501492716517171201?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">March 9, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p>Dr John Shears, the expedition leader, described the moment cameras landed on the ship’s name as “jaw-dropping”.</p> <p>He said: “The discovery of the wreck is an incredible achievement.</p> <p>“We have successfully completed the world’s most difficult shipwreck search, battling constantly shifting sea-ice, blizzards, and temperatures dropping down to -18C.</p> <p>“We have achieved what many people said was impossible.”</p> <p>He added: “In addition, we have undertaken important scientific research in a part of the world that directly affects the global climate and environment.”</p> <p>Sir Ernest had set out to make the first land crossing of Antarctica - but he had to abandon the quest when Endurance was trapped and holed by sea-ice.</p> <p>The mission to find the lost ship was launched by the Falklands Maritime Heritage Trust using a South African icebreaker, Agulhas II - equipped with remotely operated submersibles.</p> <p>The shipwreck is a designated monument under the international Antarctic Treaty and must not be disturbed in any way.</p> <p>Deep-sea polar biologist Dr Michelle Taylor from Essex University said: “It would appear that there is little wood deterioration, inferring that the wood-munching animals found in other areas of our ocean are, perhaps unsurprisingly, not in the forest-free Antarctic region.</p> <p>The icebreaker is now on its way back to Cape Town. The team plan is to make a stop at the British Overseas Territory of South Georgia where Shackleton is buried to pay their respects.</p> <p><em>Image: Twitter</em></p>

International Travel

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"This will be difficult and hard news for Australians"

<p><span>Scott Morrison has given the nation a grave warning to prepare for allegations of “serious and possibly criminal conduct” by Australia’s defence force in Afghanistan.</span><br /><br /><span>He says these allegations could see soldiers prosecuted for unlawful killings.</span><br /><br /><span>The Prime Minister revealed on Thursday that a special investigator will be appointed to consider allegations of war crimes by Australia’s soldiers in the Middle East.</span><br /><br /><span>This follows after the completion of a long-running defence investigation into the claims.</span><br /><br /><span>“This is going to be very difficult for Australians. It is going to be very difficult for our serving community and our veterans community,’’ Mr Morrison said.</span><br /><br /><span>“It is going to be difficult for all of us. But what we are seeking to do, as a government, I think what we have to do as a country, is to absorb this in a way that enables us to uphold the integrity of our justice system and uphold the integrity of our defence forces. We rely vitally on both of these institutions, absolutely vitally.</span><br /><br /><span>“Given the likely allegations of serious and possibly criminal misconduct, the matters raised in the inquiry must be assessed, investigated and where allegations are substantiated, prosecuted in court. To undertake this role, the government is establishing the Office of the Special Investigator.”</span><br /><br /><span>Defence Minister Linda Reynolds says that the scandal could mean some soldiers might be stripped of medals if misconduct is proven.</span><br /><br /><span>“The CDF is considering all of those options,’’ she said.</span><br /><br /><span>Senator Reynolds said 39,000 Australians had served in Afghanistan.</span><br /><br /><span>He says the report in “no way” worked to undermine any of the work from a vast majority of these soldiers.</span><br /><br /><span>“They served with great distinction and 41 Australians lost their lives in that process,’’ she said.</span><br /><br /><span>“Today we have, as minister, I could not be prouder of the work our men and women are doing on bushfire and COVID-19 assist.</span><br /><br /><span>Mr Morrison said the unredacted report is a disturbing read.</span><br /><br /><span>Australian Defence Force is set to release a redacted version as soon as next week.</span><br /><br /><span>“There is some disturbing conduct here, but we cannot then take that and apply it to everyone who has pulled on a uniform and if we did this, that would be grossly unjust, grossly unjust,’’ the Prime Minister said.</span><br /><br /><span>“I know that wouldn’t be the view of people here or in government or anywhere else. We all share a deep respect for our defence forces, but we also share a deep respect for justice. It is about managing those two issues to the highest standards I think we place on them in Australia.”</span><br /><br /><span>Mr Morrison said the soldiers would be dealt with through “Australian justice” if charges are to be recommended.</span><br /><br /><span>The Prime Minister confirmed soldiers might not be called before The International Criminal Court since they would be dealing with “this as Australians.”</span><br /><br /><span>“We believe so, yes. That is the important advice we have taken on this. We need to deal with this as Australians, court our on laws, through our on justice processes and we will and I think that will say a lot about Australia,’’ he said.</span><br /><br /><span>“Of course this report will be difficult news and all of our partners must be assured and those around the world who rightly hold the Australian defence force in high regard, I believe by the process we are outlining to you today shows why that is the case, that in</span><br /><br /><span>The report will not be providing a brief of evidence, but the Prime Minister describes the appointment of the special investigator as the “next step” rather than a new process.</span><br /><br /><span>“Some very serious issues were raised regarding conduct by some members of Australia’s special operations task force in Afghanistan. It is our Australian way to deal with these issues with a deep respect for Justice and the rule of law, but also one that seeks to illuminate the truth, but also seeks to understand it because that is what must drive our response,’’ Mr Morrison said.</span><br /><br /><span>The Prime Minister said the process will be given as much time as it needs to work through the legal issues involved.</span></p>

News

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Olivia Newton-John opens up about Kelly Preston’s death: “An incredibly difficult thing”

<p>Olivia Newton-John has given a statement on the loss of the late Kelly Preston who passed away from breast cancer at 57.  </p> <p>The <em>Grease</em> star has remained open about her own battle with breast cancer, and told <em>ET</em> that Preston was a "beautiful person, inside and out, and was beautiful to look at."</p> <p>Newton-John and Preston’s husband John Travolta, have been close friends for almost 29 years, and claimed the family are "coping as well as you can imagine."</p> <p>"She had a gentle spirit and I just feel so, so much for John and the children. It's hard to put into words," Newton-John said.</p> <p>"Loss is loss, and to lose your mother and your wife is an incredibly difficult thing, and it takes a long time. But ultimately it's a private journey and I respect that for them."</p> <p>Newton-John was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 1992.</p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.0760667903525px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7838211/princess-mary-1.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/0b2148f9ccb24a98b9a0f38b50061702" /></p> <p>She only decided to go public with her battle after false reports and rumours.</p> <p>"There was going to be an article released in one of the gossip papers that I was dying of cancer," the 72-year-old said.</p> <p>"When I heard that, I decided that rather than frighten my family and my friends, it would be better to just come out with it."</p> <p>"Being a cancer thriver of 28 years and having gone through surgery and chemotherapy and radiation I always had this dream that we could find kinder ways of treating cancer," she added.</p> <p>Preston however had been battling her diagnosis for two years in silence, which shocked fans across the globe when they learnt of her death.</p> <p>"It is with a very heavy heart that I inform you that my beautiful wife Kelly has lost her two-year battle with breast cancer," Travolta wrote on Instagram on July 13.</p> <p>"She fought a courageous fight with the love and support of so many. Kelly's love and life will always be remembered."</p> <p>Preston is survived by Travolta and their children: daughter Ella, 20, and nine-year-old son Benjamin.</p>

Caring

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“Difficult decision”: Michael Clarke and wife Kyly to split

<p>The former Australian cricket captain Michael Clarke is splitting from his wife Kyly after over seven years of marriage together.</p> <p>The couple, with a combined wealth of over $40 million are currently working out a financial settlement and on arrangements to co-parent their four-year-old daughter Kelsey Lee, as reported by <em><a href="https://www.theaustralian.com.au/subscribe/news/1/?sourceCode=TAWEB_WRE170_a_GGL&amp;dest=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theaustralian.com.au%2Fbusiness%2Fmedia%2Fmichael-and-kyly-clarke-to-divorce-putting-40m-in-play%2Fnews-story%2F46e3da1480e793d7d56671052604eb25&amp;memtype=anonymous&amp;mode=premium">The Australian.</a></em></p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B7-lDIVH8oE/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="margin: 8px 0 0 0; padding: 0 4px;"><a style="color: #000; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B7-lDIVH8oE/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">#Bella Bring on the weekend 🌈💕🦄💫 . . . . . . #weekend #friday #datenight</a></p> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;">A post shared by <a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/kylyclarke/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank"> 🖤 K Y L Y 🖤</a> (@kylyclarke) on Jan 31, 2020 at 12:45am PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p> "After living apart for some time, we have made the difficult decision to separate as a couple, amicably," they told the newspaper in a joint statement.</p> <p>"With the greatest of respect for each other, we've come to the mutual conclusion that this is the best course for us to take while committed to the co-parenting of our daughter."</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B5PeBgbg4WJ/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B5PeBgbg4WJ/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by 🖤 K Y L Y 🖤 (@kylyclarke)</a> on Nov 24, 2019 at 12:36am PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The newspaper is estimating the divorce between the pair will be about $40 million.</p> <p>Michael and Kyly, 38, tied the knot in 2012, and welcomed their only child together in 2015.</p> <p>Reports estimate the two celebs separate five months ago, with Clarke moving out of their lavish home in Vaucluse before relocating to a stunning waterfront beach-front home.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/B46iBoJg0x3/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B46iBoJg0x3/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by 🖤 K Y L Y 🖤 (@kylyclarke)</a> on Nov 15, 2019 at 9:27pm PST</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>It is understood 38-year-old Kyly Clarke will continue to occupy the Vaucluse property with their four-year-old daughter Kelsey Lee.</p> <p>The Australian has reported the two have a healthy relationship as co-parents, and continue to train together at a gym in Rose Bay.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzu9PDHgta_/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzu9PDHgta_/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by 🖤 K Y L Y 🖤 (@kylyclarke)</a> on Jul 10, 2019 at 3:57am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>In their joint statement, Michael and Kyly said they would be making “no further comment” about the situation.</p> <p>“We’d like to acknowledge the wonderful support we’ve had from family and friends, and at this time request privacy so that we can manage this next stage of our lives,” it read.</p>

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Michelle Bridges confirms drink driving after “difficult” split with Commando

<p>Personal trainer to the stars Michelle Bridges has confirmed in an emotional statement her drink driving charge and her split with long-term partner Steve “Commando” Willis.</p> <p>Michelle said via the <em>Daily Telegraph</em> that the incident was a graven “error in judgement”.</p> <p>“I would like to express my deep regret for breaking the law, this was a terrible mistake and an error of judgment,” she said in a statement.</p> <p>“This behaviour is inexcusable, and I am absolutely devastated and embarrassed to find myself in this position. It has been a very difficult time for me the last few weeks dealing with the break-up of my long-term relationship."</p> <p>"This is by no means an excuse for my behaviour but I feel the emotional turmoil I have been going through has impacted my decision making. I am extremely sorry for my actions.”</p> <p>The former<span> </span><em>Biggest Loser Australia</em><span> </span>star was pulled over by police on New South Head Rd in Sydney’s east at approximately 11.25 am yesterday.</p> <p>After testing positive for alcohol in her system, Michelle was taken to Waverley Police Station where she reportedly blew a reading of 0.086.</p> <p>NSW Police confirmed the TV star's arrest on Sunday.</p> <p>“A 49-year-old woman, driving a Range Rover SUV, was subjected to a roadside breath test which returned a positive result,” police said in a statement.</p> <p>“A 5-year-old passenger was in the car at the time."</p> <p>Bridges was handed a future court attendance notice for mid-range PCA and is due to appear at Waverley Local Court on February 18.</p> <p>Bridges, along with appearing on<span> </span><em>The Biggest Loser</em><span> </span>until 2015, is the author of 16 health books, a magazine columnist and an activewear entrepreneur according to her website.</p>

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When should you quit difficult relationships?

<p><span>No relationship is perfect. Disagreements, fights and rough patches can occur with anyone, be it family members, friends, partners, neighbours or colleagues. However, these concerns may also lead to greater grievances and leave us feeling drained, insecure or unhappy.</span></p> <p><span>Before you decide whether to work on making amends or cut off contacts, it can be helpful to learn more about what makes for a difficult relationship.</span></p> <p><strong><span>What are the signs of difficult relationships?</span></strong></p> <p><span>According to Lyn Worsley, clinical psychologist and director of the Resilience Centre, power imbalance and the resulting dysfunctional communication pattern are some of the major indicators of a difficult relationship.</span></p> <p><span>“There are times when a relationship allows control over the other,” Worsley told <em>Over60</em>. “Often both people are unaware of this pattern, which may have evolved over time.”</span></p> <p><span>Some of the signs people can spot in this kind of relationship include passive aggressive and manipulative behaviours, said Mary Bonich, principal psychologist at The Feel Good Clinic. These behaviours can manifest in many different ways – for example, constantly bringing up past grievances, making threats to end the relationship during disagreements, or controlling where the other person goes or who they see.</span></p> <p><span>“Relationships rely on open and honest communication to grow and evolve,” said Bonich. </span></p> <p><span>“A [person] who is uncomfortable or unwilling to be open and honest … often uses passive aggressive behaviour to shut down communication or opportunities to resolve disputes.</span></p> <p><span>“It fosters a relationship of mistrust and blame, and often leaves one feeling nervous and anxious about every decision they make.”</span></p> <p><strong><span>What you can do to improve the relationship</span></strong></p> <p><span>Worsley and Bonich agree that building on healthy communication is key.</span></p> <p><span>“Creating space to allow each person to be open and honest about their feelings without being penalised for sharing their feelings is imperative,” Bonich said.</span></p> <p><span>“Avoid communication pitfalls such as being critical, judgemental, condescending, defensive or stonewalling as these are toxic communication styles. Instead we want to practice sharing our feelings and taking responsibility, even if it means we are uncomfortable doing so.”</span></p> <p><span>It is important to remember the common ground we have with the other person. “If we keep in mind that the goal is to care and connect with others, we can find ourselves more willing to adjust, adapt and even let things go,” Worsley said. </span></p> <p><span>However, self-work should not be forgotten, Bonich said. “Both need to work on themselves in order to grow the relationship. We can’t ‘fix’ the other person, nor can we blame everything on the other person,” she said.</span></p> <p><strong><span>How to know when you should leave the relationship</span></strong></p> <p><span>Bonich said while we cannot expect every single interaction to be positive or nurturing, it can be helpful to reflect on the big picture.</span></p> <p><span>“If after every interaction with your partner you are left feeling smaller, less confident or more insecure than you were prior to that encounter, then this is a bad sign,” Bonich said.</span></p> <p><span>“We need to look at all interactions on balance to see whether this relationship is building you up, or slowly destroying you.”</span></p> <p><span>Worsley said anyone in a relationship with “clearly abusive pattern” should exit immediately.</span></p> <p><span>In many cases, the less powerful party could feel discouraged to leave the relationship. “The person with the power, has the power and often the other doesn’t feel they can leave the relationship or that they are not good enough,” Worsley said.</span></p> <p><span>Worsley noted that many people in this situation may feel guilt over leaving the relationship. “If the goal is to care and connect [with the other person], then leaving is often a way of caring for your partner and [helping] stop an unhealthy pattern of behaviour,” she said. </span></p> <p><span>Prolonged toxic relationship may undermine a person’s mental health and wellbeing and undermine their sense of self-worth and independence, <a href="https://au.reachout.com/articles/what-is-emotional-abuse">ReachOut</a> reported.</span></p> <p><span>She urged anyone experiencing verbal, sexual, emotional or physical abuse to seek professional help as they leave the relationship. “Leaving to get help is important because many people leave and find another partner to repeat the behaviour with,” she said. “Seeing a counsellor who can help you understand the abusive and controlling behaviour can help you to find new ways of relating.”</span></p> <p><em><span>If you or someone you know is experiencing violence or abuse, you can contact 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.</span></em></p>

Mind

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A family's difficult journey: Meet the 7-year-old girl going through menopause

<p>At just four weeks old, little Emily Dover had grown a whole four centimetres taller in just a week.</p> <p>Emily’s parents, Tam Dover and Matt McAuliffe from Woy Woy on the NSW Central Coast – who are both tall – were told by medical professionals their newborn girl was a reaction of her genetics.</p> <p>However, a year-and-a-half later when Matt pulled little Emily out of the bath, he was hit with the smell of body odour and a little pimple on her face.</p> <p>Not long after, the child began complaining of discomfort around her chest area.</p> <p>“When she was two she started complaining that she had a sore chest and we thought, 'well that's a little bit different' ... and she was breast budding at the time and that came with cystic acne,” Tam explained to <a rel="noopener" href="https://10daily.com.au/news/australia/a190703ylpem/meet-the-seven-year-old-girl-going-through-menopause-20190703" target="_blank"><em>10Daily</em></a> and<span> </span><em>Studio 10</em>.</p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7828320/studio-10-1.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/d7467fc58a7a4ff7bf6b0562f4915714" /></p> <p><span>Tam and Matt, with the help of doctors, investigated why their child’s hormones were developing at such a fast and unusual pace, and during that time they discovered Emily had autism and a sensory processing disorder.</span></p> <p>“When Emily was about two or three she had such a yearning to have a child that there was a child at her daycare who called her 'Mum' and ... you see the yearning and the nurturing because the hormones are driving it,” Tam said.</p> <p>“We all have had time to grow into our hormones and have life experience and know what is appropriate and what is not appropriate, and then you have someone who says I feel these things and then the joy of autism on top of it is that there is no filter.”</p> <p>Then when Emily was four years old, she began getting her period.</p> <p>Both Tam and Matt had starting hormone testing with their daughter when they had to teach the young pre-schooler how to use a menstrual pad.</p> <p>Emily’s condition left a financial burden on the family, as injections were required to stop their little girl’s puberty from developing until she was old enough to undergo the changes – and cost both Tam and Matt $1,500 per month.</p> <p>However, the injections failed to stop the growth of little Emily’s pubic hair, her breasts or halt her periods.</p> <p>While the family have stopped with the injections and Emily is now going through menopause, she will still be treated symptomatically.</p> <p>Despite the difficult journey for the family, Emily has managed to maintain her bright and positive nature at just seven years old.</p> <p>Tam and Matt hope that sharing the story of their little girl will aid in raising awareness for other families and children who are going through similar hardships.</p>

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