Search

Hospice nurse reveals people's last words before they die

A hospice nurse has revealed the number one thing people say in their final moments before they die. Healthcare expert Julie McFadden, who makes online videos discussing death to help break the taboo around dying, has shared the three most common regrets patients share on their death beds. Speaking to NHS surgeon Dr Karan Rajan on his podcast, Julie said these final discussions tend to centre around what they've taken for granted. "The first one I hear all the time is that they regret not appreciating their health while they had it," Ms McFadden said, reflecting on her 15 years of working in the health sector. "That's the number one thing people say to me, I wish I would have understood how amazing it is to have a working body." The second regret she often hears is people admitting they "worked too much" and wish they hadn't worked their life away, and rather spent time doing things that brought them joy. Finally, she revealed in the clip shared to Instagram, that many dying patients have regrets about relationships. The nurse explained people either wish they had maintained certain relationships and friendships, or regret holding grudges. Dr Rajan responded to Ms McFadden's insight with a story of a young patient that made him realise we are not 'immortal' and we should not take our life "for granted". In the clip shared with his 1.5million followers he said, "A few years ago when I saw a young woman come in with pancreatitis in her 20s, within three hours this young woman is in the intensive care unit, she's intubated, ventilated, and the next day, she had passed away." "That just made me think wow, I'm in my 30s now, I'm 34, life can just go in a flash. So yes, truly don't take it for granted, we sometimes have this tendency to walk around like we're immortal." Image credits: YouTube

Caring

Hospice nurse shares what happens to the body after death

A hospice nurse has revealed the reality of what happens to our bodies in the minutes, hours and days after we die. In her efforts to break down the taboo around conversations about death, Julie McFadden, a hospice nurse from the US, posts candid videos about death and dying to help us be more informed and prepared. In Julie’s latest video, she explains exactly what happens to the human body in the moments, hours and days after someone dies. Nurse Julie said that in the immediate moments after death, the body completely relaxes, beginning the first stage of decomposition, called hypostasis. “All of the things in your body that are holding fluids in, relaxes. That's why death can be messy sometimes.” She clarified that because of how relaxed the body becomes, those who have just died may urinate, have bowel movements or experience bodily fluids coming out of their nose, mouth, ears or eyes. Nurse Julie added, “I like to talk about it so people aren't surprised if that happens - very normal and to be expected sometimes.” This is also when the stage of decomposition called autolysis, or “the self-digestion” stage, occurs and enzymes begin to break down oxygen-deprived tissue, also causing the body temperature to drop. As the body settles in the hours after death, Nurse Julie said the blood will begin to pool downward toward the ground. She said, “If you let someone lie there for long enough - which we do sometimes; you don't have to hurry up and make sure your loved one leaves the house - if you turn them you will notice usually the back of their legs the whole backside of them will look purple or darker that's because all their blood is pulling down.” “Gravity is pulling it down. So they will eventually get a darker colour tone of skin on their backside.” One to two hours after death is also when rigor mortis - or the stiffening of a body’s muscles - sets in and continues for about the next 24 hours Nurse Julie said, “I have seen people become very stiff almost immediately - like a few minutes - after death and other people, their body takes longer.” Additionally, about 12 hours after death, the body will feel cool to the touch. About a day to a day and a half after a person dies, rigor mortis subsides and the body will begin to loosen again, as Nurse Julie said the body's tissues relax and cause the stiffness to break down. By this time, the body is usually in the mortuary, which will prepare the body in whichever way the family has requested, whether it is for burial or cremation. She added, “In a world where people didn't have access to a mortuary or a healthcare system and they just died naturally, our bodies are built to, after death, decompose.” Image credits: Shutterstock / Instagram / YouTube

Body

Hospice nurse shares the four physical stages of dying

A hospice nurse has shared the four things that happen to your body in the months, weeks and days before you die. Julie McFadden, who specialises in end of life care, shares videos about death and dying on social media to open up the conversation on the taboo topic, to help better prepare people for death. In her latest video, a viewer asked Julie what the dying process actually looks like, as the nurse explained that it all depends on how, when and why you pass away. However, she said there are four things that happen to the body as the end draws near. The first stage of dying is slowing down, which can happen up to six months before you die, with the symptoms being very "generalised". Julie says, "For instance, you’re just going to be generally tired, generally lethargic, not eating and drinking as much, probably being less social." According to Julie, the second stage is a sharp decline in strength, as she explains, "The closer you get to death – let’s say three months out – you’re going to be more debilitated." "It’s going to be difficult for you to leave the house, you probably are eating and drinking very little throughout the day, and you’re sleeping more than you’re awake." <p style="font-size: 1rem; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 1.375rem; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.4rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Before the last stage of life, Julie describes a period of "transitioning" which happens around a month before death and can include a phenomenon known as "visioning". <p style="font-size: 1rem; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 1.375rem; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.4rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The nurse says, "This is when people will start seeing dead relatives, dead loved ones, dead pets, things like that." She says that typically, someone "can be up and having a normal conversation with their family", all the while "saying they’re seeing their dead father in the corner who is smiling and telling them he’s coming to get them soon and not to worry." <p style="font-size: 1rem; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 1.375rem; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.4rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">According to Julie, this final stage of death is considered the most "distinct time in the dying process" when the body starts to fully shut down. <p style="font-size: 1rem; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 1.375rem; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.4rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"The actively dying phase is what scares people, because they’re not used to seeing it and they don’t know what the heck’s going on," she says. <p style="font-size: 1rem; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 1.375rem; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.4rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">‘Metabolic changes’ such as a difference in skin colour, high and low temperature, or the ‘death rattle’ – a gurgling noise (also known as terminal secretions) caused by a buildup of fluids in the throat and upper airways – follow before they later pass on. <p style="font-size: 1rem; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 1.375rem; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.4rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">However, while it’s natural to find these things upsetting, Julie assures people this stage is a "normal part of death and dying", and "it’s not hurting your loved one." "It’s important to be educated about what death actually looks like. Movies and television don’t do it justice, then people see it in real life when it’s their loved ones and they freak out," she said. <p style="font-size: 1rem; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 1.375rem; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 1.4rem; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Image credits: YouTube / Instagram

Caring

Hospice nurse reveals the key to a peaceful death

Hospice nurse Julie McFadden has shared her best advice for ensuring a peaceful death, after learning from her patients in their final moments. The healthcare professional, who is known for her YouTube channel where she shares information about death to break the taboo of conversations around dying, shared a video about what you can do in life to ensure a peaceful passing. In the recent clip, she shared what you can do in order to have a peaceful death, and she says it comes down to preparedness and acceptance. "That's one of the biggest things I see," she explained. "People who plan for death will tend to have a more peaceful death than those who do not plan for death." "A prepared death versus a non-prepared death - that's the one thing that I've seen in all of my patients," she explained. Julie said she noticed the patients that were "willing to talk about the hard stuff" had a more peaceful death. <iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qoFvKkfIo00?si=Ba5BnxuaKsBVaGAe" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe> "[That means] willing to ask the questions about, 'how long do you think I have? What can I expect? What should I do before I die to make this easier for my family?'" she listed. Julie went on to share a story of when a patient of hers died peacefully surrounded by his family, explaining that the patient was in hospice and had started to decline around 20 minutes after she arrived. "He started having weird changes in breathing, so this was a sudden decline and it looked like he may suddenly die," she recalled, adding the abrupt change was "uncommon actually" in hospice care. "What I noticed was because this family - and him - were so prepared, instead of the family [being] chaotic and reacting in an emotional way - which is very normal - they flipped along right with him," she explained. "[They laid] in bed with him. They understood immediately what was happening. They didn't panic," she shared. Julie said the man was surrounded by his loving family and it was an overwhelmingly emotional experience. "It makes me cry every time I think about it - that vision of them all being able to understand what was happening, even though it was a change they didn't want," she explained. "By the end of that visit he died, so he went from kind of looking okay to dying which is hard - but that family made it a beautiful moment," she said. Image credits: YouTube

Caring

Hospice nurse reveals six unexplainable "death bed phenomena"

Hospice nurse Julie McFadden has lifted the lid on six unexplainable "death bed phenomena" that occur within a person's last weeks of life. The LA-based nurse, who specialises in end of life care, explained that as a person nears the end of their life, they will experience a range of unusual things, including hallucinations, random bursts of energy and even choosing when they're going to die. McFadden once again took to her YouTube channel to educate people on what happens when you're on your death bed, detailing each of the six strange occurrences. Julie explained that patients often experienced "terminal lucidity", "hallucinations", "death stares", and more in their final weeks. She began by explaining the first wild thing that happened at the end of life was terminal lucidity, in which people get a "burst of energy" in the days before they die, sharing that it happens "very often". She said, "Just enjoy it and expect that maybe they will die soon after because that's the kicker with terminal lucidity, it looks like someone's going to die very soon then suddenly they have a burst of energy." "They maybe have a really great day, they're suddenly hungry, they're suddenly able to walk, they're suddenly very alert and oriented, and then shortly after usually a day or two they will die, so that can be the hard part if you're not ready for it, if you don't know what's coming you can think they're getting better and then they die, which can be very devastating." Julie then described how most people in their final days will encounter "death visioning" or "hallucinations", as many people describe seeing the ghosts of loved ones in their final days. "I wouldn't have believed it unless I saw it for myself over and over again," the nurse admitted. "Number three, this is really crazy - people choosing when they're going to die. I have seen some extreme cases of this, people just saying, 'Tonight's when I'm going to die I know it, I can feel it,' and they do. There's also a time when people will wait for everybody to get into town or get into the room arrive at the house whatever it is and then they will die," the nurse explained. The fourth phenomena is known as the "death reach", according to Julie. She explained, "It's when the person's lying in bed and they reach up in the air like they're seeing someone or they're reaching for someone either to hug them or to shake their hands. A lot of times they'll hold their hands up for a long time, like they're seeing something that we're not seeing and they're reaching for someone that we can't see." Julie then listed "number five is the death stare," explaining that the death stare and the death reach often "go together". "It usually looks like someone is staring off into the corner of the room or the side of the room basically looking at something intently, but if you're snapping your finger in front of their face or trying to say their name to kind of snap them out of it, they won't," she said. The last wild thing the nurse has seen is known as a "shared death experience" and is "most impactful", according to Julie. She explained, "A shared death experience is when someone who is not dying feels or sees or understands what's happening to the person who is dying." "It's kind of like the dying person gives you the sensation of what they're going through. From what I experienced, it was a very good feeling. It was like the person was giving me these feelings of freedom and joy and kind of telling me that they were okay." "At the time, I was shocked, I didn't know what was happening, but I've come to find out that that's called a shared death experience." Image credits: YouTube / Instagram

Caring

Hospice nurse explains why we shouldn't be afraid to die

A hospice nurse has shared why we shouldn't be afraid to die, explaining all the ways in which our bodies "shut off" to make for a "peaceful" death. Julie McFadden, a nurse based in Los Angeles, has long been sharing videos and explanations about end of life care in an attempt to destigmatise the conversations and fear around death and dying. In her latest YouTube video, McFadden got candid with her followers as she confessed she isn't afraid to die and why no one else should be either. She went on to explain all the ways in which our bodies are supposed to "shut off" in our final moments, making for a "peaceful" and "natural" death. " "I'm not afraid of death and here's the science behind it, our body biologically helps us die, so here is what I've seen and learned as a hospice nurse over the years - our body is literally built to die," she said. The hospice nurse revealed that bodies began to slowly shut down in the six months leading up to death, explaining that a person nearing the end of their life would start "eating less, drinking less, and sleeping more." "Why is that happening? Because calcium levels in the body are going up and because calcium levels are going up the person is getting sleepier," Julie said. "Our brains have built in mechanisms to make us hungry and thirsty. Biologically, when the body knows it's getting towards the end of life those mechanisms shut off, so the person does not usually feel hungry and does not usually feel thirsty, which is helping the body slowly shut down." <iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/CJEkzA0gt6s?si=CIzcf3xchddKtf1D" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe> She put minds at ease by debunking a common concern, saying that while certain diseases could make death more uncomfortable, dying in itself wasn't painful. "There are times when the disease that the person is experiencing can cause symptoms and it's more difficult because they're dying from a certain disease, but the actual process that the body is going through to help it die is actually helping that person," Julie added. "There have been many times as a hospice nurse that I have watched someone slowly die on hospice and I have not needed to give them any medication because their disease was not causing any symptoms - no pain, no shortness of breath, they were just more tired and weren't eating or drinking." "They still did all of the things any other person on hospice would be doing, like they slowly go unconscious, they slowly stop eating and drinking. I didn't have to give them any medications. They were perfectly comfortable and died a very peaceful death." Julie explained that death was even "comforting" in a way because when you're about to take your last breath, your body released endorphins, making you feel euphoric in your final moments. "The body slowly goes into something called ketosis, which releases endorphins. In that person's body those endorphins dull pain, dull nerves, and they also give that person a euphoric sense, so they feel good," she said. "There are many reasons why I don't fear death. Yes, I have had some pretty crazy spiritual experiences as a hospice nurse that led me to not fear death, but there are also biological, metabolical, and physiological things that happen in the body that truly, truly comforted me." She concluded, "Our bodies are built to die. The less we mess with that, the more peaceful it will be." Image credits: YouTube / Instagram

Caring

23-year-old reveals why she's chosen to end her life

23-year-old Lily Thai has made the crippling decision to end her life. The Adelaide native, who suffers from Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS), will use recently passed voluntary assisted dying laws after signing the final paperwork a week prior. In January 2023, South Australia legalised assisted dying with the government funnelling in $18 million over the next five years to support safe access to the service. “I realised that I can’t have any more anaesthesia, so I (couldn’t) have any more feeding tube changes (or) surgeries,” Thai told The Advertiser. EDS is a debilitating genetic condition which has left the 23-year-old completely bedridden and in constant pain. It affects her joints, skin and walls of the blood vessels so severely she is reliant on her father as a caregiver to do everything for her, “even the most intimate things”. Doctors will administer an IV medication that will terminate the young woman’s life within 10 seconds. “I’ll no longer have any pain, I will no longer suffer with any of these issues, and I’ll finally be free of all the suffering that I have endured for so many years.” Thai had initially thought her health deterioration was caused by a spinal fluid leak, but after undergoing treatment to fix it, her condition did not improve and doctors couldn’t give her a definitive diagnosis. As a desperate last measure, she travelled to Sydney to meet a surgeon who “specialised in spinal issues (for) patients with EDS” when she was 21. She was then confined to a halo brace and required a nasal feeding tube as she "couldn’t keep anything down,” and weighed just 40kg. In May 2021, Thai had spinal fusion surgery and just a week later was fitted with a gastro Jejenul feeding tube to vent out stomach acid and secretion. Through her rehab period, hospitals were under strict Covid-19 protocols, so Thai suffered alone without any visitors. “I couldn’t stand not seeing my dad, so I got discharged early,” she said. She was later diagnosed with auto-immune autonomic ganglionopathy — a rare condition where the body’s immune system attacks the nervous system. “The neurologist said that I was in multi-organ failure, but it wasn’t until I had a severe decline after one of my surgeries, (and) when I saw my rehab doctor they found a large lesion of the left side of my brain,” she said. “He suspected I had a type of motor neurone disease.” Thai has spent the past two years at Flinders Medical Centre’s Laurel Hospice, where she shared that most of her days are filled with sleep to avoid being in “excruciating pain”. Healthcare staff there granted one of her final wishes, which was to visit a beach, and so they took Thai in the back of an ambulance to the coastline. An image (at top) shows Lily resting on a bed, enjoying her Maccas fries and looking out at the golden sand and blue water in front of her. While at the hospice, Thai also formed a strong bond with another young woman, Annaliese Holland, who was also suffering a terminal illness at the hospice. The pair say young people with a terminal illness often mourn the “life (they) never got to have.” “For elderly or older people, (they) have memories to look back on to laugh about and cry about,” Holland said. “But for a young person in palliative hospice, you haven’t formed many of them.” “You never do the normal things like going to your high school graduation,” Thai said. “What makes me sad is that … you just want to push on, but at the same time it’s really hard because you know you won’t have babies or any of that,” Holland said. Holland has vowed to do everything in her power to make Thai’s last days in hospice more bearable. “All I can do is brush her (Lily’s) hair or moisturise her legs. I just want her to know that I’m there and people care,” a tearful Holland said. Thai has been able to plan parts of her own funeral and has been busy saying goodbye to family and friends. As part of her legacy, she’s inviting donations for palliative research to The Hospital Research Foundation on her memorial card to be given to funeral attendees. Image credit: Facebook

Caring

Hospice nurse shares the specific things people see before they die

A hospice nurse has revealed the very specific things people often see before they die. Julie McFadden, a 39-year-old end of care nurse from Los Angeles, shared a now-viral TikTok about what people see in the moments before they pass away. Julie cares for terminally-ill patients near their end-of-life, keeping them comfortable in the months leading up to their death. In the final weeks of someone's life, people are often visited by lost loved ones and pets that give them the encouragement to cross over. The 39-year-old said most of her patients report apparitions of relatives who offer them comforting words such as, "We're coming to get you soon," or, "Don't worry, we'll help you". After working in hospice care for over five years, McFadden has learnt a lot about death and dying, and how people handle the last days of their life. She revealed that dying patients see family, friends and pets who have passed away so often it is noted in educational packets given to the patient and their relatives, "so they understand what's going on". McFadden also added that medical professionals don't know why these apparitions happen, and don't know how to explain it in a logical sense. These apparitions usually appear a month before the patient dies, she claims, and can either present in dreams or the person being able to physically see them. The nurse said patients will often ask, "Do you see what I'm seeing?" Rather than being scared of what they're seeing, Ms McFadden claims patients often find the visits "comforting". Julie went on to say that she doesn't believe these "visits" are hallucinations, as she says the patients are normally "pretty alert and oriented, they're usually lucid". "It's not like they're saying a bunch of crazy things that don't make any sense," Ms McFadden added. "They're usually functional and logical and questioning me, 'Why am I seeing my dead mom, do you see her?'" Ms McFadden ended her video by saying that for many people in their final days, these visits from loved ones can help a person feel a sense of calm and contentment around dying, rather than a sense of fear of the unknown. Image credits: Shutterstock / Instagram

Caring

Hospice nurse explains the “very comforting” thing that happens just before death

A hospice nurse has shared the “very comforting” thing that happens to a lot of people in the last moments of their life. Julie McFadden, a 39-year-old healthcare professional from the US, supports people who are coming to the end of their lives, going into specialised homes to make sure they remain as comfortable as possible in their final days. Throughout her career, she said more than half of those she has looked after experienced “visioning”, which is when people who are often fully lucid see deceased friends, family and pets in the moments leading up to death. “It happens most of the time at the end of their life, but they aren’t delusional,” the former intensive care nurse said on TikTok. “It’s often very comforting for the person. It’s never scary - if they’re scared, it’s likely they’re experiencing delirium or paranoia, not visioning.” “People don’t talk about it much but it’s really common and more than half of people I have looked after have experienced it.” “It’s so normal to fear death and I’ve had several patients who have expressed their fear - but then a family member came to them and they were no longer scared.” Julie went on to share a further explanation as to why people experience “visioning”, and the other-worldly power behind it. “We have no idea why this (visioning) happens and we are not claiming that they really are seeing these people,” she explained in one video. “We have no idea. But all I can tell you, as a healthcare professional who’s worked in this line of work for a very long time, (is that) it happens all the time.” “It happens so much that we actually have to educate the family and the patient about this topic before it happens so they’re not incredibly alarmed,” she added. “Usually it’s a good indicator that the person’s getting close to death - usually about a month or a few weeks before they die.” “It brings me comfort. I hope it brings you some comfort,” she concluded in her video, which quickly amassed more than 400,000 views. Image credits: TikTok

Caring

Archie’s parents make legal bid to move him to hospice

The family of a 12-year-old boy who has been in a months-long coma have filed a legal action requesting permission to move their son into a hospice, after their legal fight to continue his life-support treatment was unsuccessful. After Hollie Dance and Paul Battersbee’s son Archie was found unconscious at their home on April 7, the couple were ruled against in a series of UK court hearings to keep their son on life support, with judges backing doctors who said Archie was brain dead and that further treatment wasn’t in his best interests. The couple announced the decision to move Archie to a hospice on Wednesday, after the <a href="https://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/caring/our-country-have-failed-a-12-year-old-archie-s-parents-concede-defeat" target="_blank" rel="noopener">European Court of Human Rights rejected a request to intervene</a> in the case. "We've now got a fight to see whether we can get him out of here to have a dignified passing at a hospice. It's just unfair,” Dance said following the decision. His parents said the London hospital where Archie has been treated informed them that life support would be withdrawn at 11am on Thursday BST (8pm AEST or 6pm NZST) unless a legal challenge over the hospice move was submitted by 9am. “I would like him out of here as quick as possible, really, and in a peaceful hospice to say goodbye and spend time with his family, uninterrupted by the noise and chaos,” Dance told the BBC. However, Barts Health NHS Trust, which runs the Royal London Hospital, said a previous High Court ruling requires that Archie remain in hospital until his treatment ends, and that moving him would cause him to deteriorate much faster because his condition is so unstable. Alistair Chesser, the chief medical officer of the trust, said in a statement that they would work with Archie’s family to prepare to withdraw treatment, but that no changes will be made to his care until “outstanding legal issues are resolved”. Images: Getty Images / Hollie Dance

Caring

Hospice nurse reveals the three words many people say before they die

A hospice nurse on TikTok has revealed that many of her patients say the same three words before passing away. Posting to the social media site, @hospicenursejulie revealed that her patients often believe they are seeing visions of spirits belonging to their deceased loved ones before they die, prompting them to say ‘I love you’ or to call out to those relatives. "There is something most people say before they die and it's usually, 'I love you,' or they call out to their mum or dad who have usually already died,” she revealed. She explains that patients who are otherwise completely lucid will tell her they can see spirits or angels of loved ones who’ve passed away up to a month before dying themselves. These visions will often urge the patient to “come home”. <blockquote style="max-width: 605px; min-width: 325px;" class="tiktok-embed" data-video-id="7007617336870046981"><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@hospicenursejulie" target="_blank" title="@hospicenursejulie">@hospicenursejulie</a> Reply to @birdsthewordchicktok <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/hospicenursejulie" target="_blank" title="hospicenursejulie">#hospicenursejulie</a> <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/nurse" target="_blank" title="nurse">#nurse</a> <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/nursesoftiktok" target="_blank" title="nursesoftiktok">#nursesoftiktok</a> <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/learnontiktok" target="_blank" title="learnontiktok">#learnontiktok</a> <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7007617113468734214" target="_blank" title="♬ original sound - 💕 Hospice nurse Julie 💕">♬ original sound - 💕 Hospice nurse Julie 💕</a></blockquote> In another video, Julie sought to demystify what dying looks like. She explains, "Breathing patterns change towards the end of life during the actively dying phase, which is usually a few hours to a few days before death. "Most families think this indicates something is wrong but nine times out of 10 it doesn't. Changes in skin colour, which is also called mottling, where the extremities turn a little purple also is something people think indicates something is wrong — but it doesn't. "Terminal secretions, AKA the death rattle, this is just a collection of a small bit of saliva in the back of the throat that just sounds really bad. Fever happens a lot, too, because we lose the ability to control the core temperature so our temperature will fluctuate at the end of life. "Again, it's all very normal and part of the death and dying process if you are dying naturally at home." Image: David Sacks/Getty Images

Caring

Duchess Catherine tears up as she makes an emotional vow

Duchess Catherine made a heartwarming promise to the family of a young boy who was cared for by her patronage East Anglia Children's Hospices. The clip was posted to social media where the Duchess of Cambridge alongside Duchess Camilla spoke to those involved with the hospice via video chat. Duchess Kate shared a special moment with one family in particular and made a pledge of her own for their late son. In the video, Duchess Kate is speaking to Stuart and Carla Delf with their 13-year-old son Stuie. Stuie ran a sponsored 5K every day last month in memory of his brother Fraser who passed away in January at the young age of 9. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> To mark the start of <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ChildrensHospiceWeek?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#ChildrensHospiceWeek</a>, The Duchess of Cornwall and The Duchess of Cambridge joined a video call with three children’s hospices. Join us in thanking all those involved in children’s hospices 👏 Watch the full video ➡️ <a href="https://t.co/WV5KCd5XvZ">https://t.co/WV5KCd5XvZ</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/KensingtonRoyal?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@KensingtonRoyal</a> <a href="https://t.co/kyUmXA1nY1">pic.twitter.com/kyUmXA1nY1</a> — Clarence House (@ClarenceHouse) <a href="https://twitter.com/ClarenceHouse/status/1275179534481047560?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 22, 2020</a></blockquote> Speaking about the Hospice that looked after Fraser, Kate said: "Children's hospices go that extra mile actually and support families like yourselves, I think it's extraordinary." Fraser's mother, Carla said: "The care was amazing, not just towards Fraser, making sure he was comfortable, but our wellbeing was met." Stuart, Fraser's father, later revealed that Duchess Kate had pledged to plant a sunflower in memory of Fraser, confirming it would be planted at "one of the hospices".

Caring

"Every person has a story”: Hospice volunteer writes life stories for patients

Kaitaia woman Lois Strong is providing Hospice patients with an invaluable gift - a book on their life. She has written nearly 10 books so far, recording stories, detailing life events, and compiling photos into a book which is given for free. "Every person has a story," Strong says. "I try to keep the written record just the same as I hear it, so when their family reads the story they can hear their loved one." Typing up a Hokianga man's manuscript in the 70s prompted Strong to give her parents Pat and Ivan a tape recorder to share their stories. "To them it was just life but to us kids it was our history," Strong says. "I can remember Dad's face when he saw it, he cried lots reading it." When her mother was unwell, Hospice supported the family and in 2011 Strong began volunteering. A school friend suggested training for Life Review writers and from there Strong's work began. A brochure outlining the service is given to new families who receive support. Strong sits with the person for around two hours at a time while the final book usually takes several months to complete. "I love it; I've been retired since 2005 and now I wouldn't have time to go to work. I know families really appreciate what I do but I know I get just as much personal satisfaction in being able to do this for them," Strong says. Strong has developed a timeline that helps to jog people's memories. "I start them off with when and where they were born, who their parents were, then they just go from there." Strong encourages every family to make sure their older generation's stories are recorded. "Even if you record them and type them up later, at least have the stories. "You be the one who says, 'Come on, Grandad tell me a story, I'm ready to listen', not the one who says I wish I had written Granddad's stories down. "There is no time like the present. Time has a way of beating us to the end." Written by Bayley Moor. Republished with permission of <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank">Stuff.co.nz</a>. Image credit: Bayley Moor/Stuff.

Caring

Connie Johnson gets surprise bedside visit from alpaca

Just days after <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/2017/07/samuel-johnson-shares-heartbreaking-update-on-connie/">Samuel Johnson revealed the heartbreaking news that his sister Connie has been moved to hospice care</a> and “actively dying”, Connie has been surprised by an unlikely hospital visitor. The 40-year-old, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013, got a bedside visit from Hercules, an adorably fluffy alpaca. Samuel shared a picture to the Love Your Sister Facebook page, writing, “This is Hercules. He is vying for top position as Connie's favourite nurse. Daw.” <img width="548" height="348" src="https://s.yimg.com/iu/api/res/1.2/DOmNVJzyt.1ZvSRAzav1uQ--~B/cm90YXRlPWF1dG87dz05NjA7YXBwaWQ9eXZpZGVv/https://s.yimg.com/ea/img/-/170720/59704a2c42f74_connie1_59704a26c141e.jpg" class="article-figure-image" style="display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"/> Wearing a pink beanie and wrapped in a blanked, Connie gives the alpaca a kiss in the photo. Just a few days earlier, <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/2017/07/samuel-johnson-shares-heartbreaking-update-on-connie/">Samuel had taken to the Love Your Sister Facebook page to update their more than 480,000 followers about her condition</a>. He said that his sister needed quiet time and had turned off social media as she tries to come to terms with the “most difficult thing she's ever had to face”. Earlier this year, the mother-of-two decided to end treatment for her terminal breast cancer. Image credit: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/loveyoursister/" target="_blank">Love Your Sister Facebook </a>

Caring

Spiritual care at the end of life can add purpose

Colleen Doyle is a Senior Principal Research Fellow at the National Ageing Research Institute, University of Melbourne. David Jackson is a Research Officer in the field of dementia and stroke at the University of Melbourne. In Australian nursing homes, older people are increasingly frail and being admitted to care later than they used to be. More than <a href="http://aihw.gov.au/publication-detail/?id=60129544869" target="_blank">half of residents</a> suffer from depression, yet psychiatrists and psychologists aren’t easily accessible, and pastoral or spiritual care is only available in a subset of homes. Depression at the end of life is often associated with loss of meaning. Research shows people who suffer from such loss <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/12/151203112844.htm" target="_blank">die earlier</a> than those who maintain purpose. This can be helped by nurturing the “spirit” – a term that in this setting means more than an ethereal concept of the soul. Rather, spiritual care is an umbrella term for structures and processes that give someone meaning and purpose. Caring for the spirit has strength in evidence. Spiritual care <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/appy.12018/abstract" target="_blank">helps people cope</a> in grief, crisis and ill health, and increases their ability to recover and keep living. It also has <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1532-5415.2004.52161.x/abstract" target="_blank">positive impacts</a> on behaviour and emotional well-being, including for those with dementia. Feeling hopeless Many people have feelings of hopelessness when their physical, mental and social functions are diminished. A 95-year-old man may wonder if it’s worth going on living when his wife is dead, his children don’t visit anymore and he’s unable to do many things without help. The suffering experienced in such situations can be understood in terms of threatening one’s “intactness” and mourning what has been lost, including self-identity. Fear is also common among those facing death, but the particular nature of the fear is often unique. Some may be afraid of suffocating; others of ghosts. Some may even fear meeting their dead mother-in-law again. What plagues people the most though is the thought of dying alone or being abandoned (though a significant minority express a preference to die alone). Anxiety about dying <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22530298" target="_blank">usually increases</a> after losing a loved one. But such losses can be transcended by encouraging people to pursue their own purpose for as long as they can; in other words, by caring for the spirit. What is spiritual care? Spiritual care has religious overtones that make it an uncomfortable concept in a secular health system. But such care can be useful for all – religious and non-religious – and can be provided by carers, psychologists and pastoral specialists alike. Spirituality can be defined as “the way individuals seek and express meaning and purpose and the way they experience their connectedness to the moment, to self, to others, to nature, and to the significant or sacred”. Perhaps the Japanese term “ikigai” – meaning that which gives life significance or provides a reason to get up in the morning – most closely encompasses spirituality in the context of spiritual care. Guidelines for spiritual care in government organisations, provided by the <a href="http://www.nes.scot.nhs.uk/education-and-training/by-discipline/spiritual-care/about-spiritual-care/publications/spiritual-care-matters-an-introductory-resource-for-all-nhs-scotland-staff.aspx" target="_blank">National Health Services in Scotland and Wales</a>, note that it starts with encouraging human contact in a compassionate relationship and moves in whatever direction need requires. Spiritual needs are therefore met through tailoring components of care to the person’s background and wishes. For instance, one person requested that her favourite football team regalia be placed around her room as she was dying. Another wanted her dog to stay with her in her last hours. Supporting these facets of identity can facilitate meaning and transcend the losses and anxiety associated with dying. Spiritual care can include a spiritual assessment, for which a number of tools are available that clarify, for instance, a person’s value systems. Such assessments would be reviewed regularly as a person’s condition and spiritual needs can change. Some people may seek religion as they near the end of their lives, or after a traumatic event, while others who have had lifelong relationships with a church can abandon their faith at this stage. Other components of spiritual care can include allowing people to access and recount their life story; getting to know them, being present with them, understanding what is sacred to them and helping them to connect with it; and mindfulness and meditation. For those who seek out religious rituals, spiritual care can include reading scripture and praying. Spiritual care in the health system Psychologists or pastoral care practitioners may only visit residential homes infrequently because of cost or scarce resources. To receive successful spiritual care, a person living in a residential home needs to develop a trusting relationship with their carer. This can best be done through a buddy system so frail residents can get to know an individual staff member rather than being looked after by the usual revolving door of staff. Our reductionist health care model is not set up to support people in this way. Slowing down to address existential questions does not easily reconcile with frontline staff’s poverty of time. But health care settings around the world, including Scotland and Wales, the United States and the Netherlands, are starting to acknowledge the importance of spiritual care by issuing guidelines in this area. In Australia, comprehensive <a href="http://pascop.org.au/" target="_blank">spiritual care guidelines</a> for aged care are being piloted in residential and home care organisations in early 2016. People with chronic mental illness, the elderly, the frail and the disabled have the right to comprehensive health care despite their needs often being complex, time-consuming and expensive.<img width="1" height="1" src="https://counter.theconversation.edu.au/content/55636/count.gif" alt="The Conversation"/> Finding meaning at all stages of life, including during the process of dying, is a challenging concept. It seems easier to get death over with as quickly as possible. But the development of new spiritual care guidelines brings us one step closer to supporting a meaningful existence right up to death. Written by Colleen Doyle & David Jackson. First appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/" target="_blank">The Conversation</a>. Related links: <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/2016/08/what-you-need-to-know-about-dementia/">What you need to know about dementia</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/2016/07/why-we-need-to-talk-about-death/">Why we need to talk about death</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/2016/07/aged-care-terms-you-need-to-know/">Aged care glossary: the terms you need to know</a>

Caring

91-year-old hospice patient knits hats for the homeless

For most of us, a cold can be enough to strike us down and stop us doing what we love, if only for a few days. For 91-year-old Morrie Boogart, however, even skin cancer and a kidney mass aren’t enough to stop his charitable pursuits – the hospice patient in Michigan spends his days knitting hats for the homeless. Boogart has been helping the homeless for over 15 years, knitting an incredible 8,000 hats. And even though his illness limits him to producing only one hat every two days, he’s not stopping any time soon. “The only time I'm not doing it is if I fall asleep,” He told <a href="http://fox17online.com/2016/08/07/91-year-old-man-in-hospice-care-knits-hats-for-the-homeless/">WXMI</a>. His hats feature a special “rim” to help keep his homeless friends’ ears warm. He uses donated yarn to knit the hats, which are then delivered around the Grand Rapids area. Boogart doesn’t know how much longer he has left, but he’s using his remaining time wisely. “Why do I do it? It just makes me feel good.” Such a selfless man. Tell us in the comments below, what’s the most beautiful act of kindness you’ve ever seen? Related links: <a href="/news/news/2016/08/grandson-surprises-grandparents-with-brand-new-car/">Grandson surprises grandparents with brand new car</a> <a href="/news/news/2016/08/police-make-dinner-for-lonely-elderly-couple-found-in-tears/">Police make dinner for lonely elderly couple found in tears</a> <a href="/news/news/2016/08/bride-walked-down-the-aisle-by-man-who-received-her-fathers-heart/">Bride walked down the aisle by man who received her father’s heart</a>

News

Our Partners

Over 60

News

Shop

Catalogues

Contests

Entertainment

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Property

Games

Information

Keep up to date

Search

Hospice nurse reveals people's last words before they die

Hospice nurse shares what happens to the body after death

Hospice nurse shares the four physical stages of dying

Hospice nurse reveals the key to a peaceful death

Hospice nurse reveals six unexplainable "death bed phenomena"

Hospice nurse explains why we shouldn't be afraid to die

23-year-old reveals why she's chosen to end her life

Hospice nurse shares the specific things people see before they die

Hospice nurse explains the “very comforting” thing that happens just before death

Archie’s parents make legal bid to move him to hospice

Hospice nurse reveals the three words many people say before they die

Duchess Catherine tears up as she makes an emotional vow

"Every person has a story”: Hospice volunteer writes life stories for patients

Connie Johnson gets surprise bedside visit from alpaca

Spiritual care at the end of life can add purpose

91-year-old hospice patient knits hats for the homeless

Our Partners