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Readers response: What piece of travel memorabilia brings back the best memories for you?

<p>When we travel, many of us love to pick up a souvenir to remind us of our holidays and the destinations we loved. </p> <p>We asked our readers what piece of travel memorabilia brings back the best memories, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said.</p> <p><strong>Jan Hall</strong> - Christmas Decorations! Then when I put my tree up it’s like a trip down memory lane, first one was 1973 from Singapore our first overseas holiday.</p> <p><strong>Debra Stone</strong> - A letter opener with a Paua shell on the handle. New Zealand wouldn't let us take it in our luggage, so we posted it home to ourselves!</p> <p><strong>Becky Murfet</strong> - In 1984 we went to Europe and I collected match boxes from different countries. Have them in a large glass bowl. Great to look at for memories sake.</p> <p><strong>Caron Castner</strong> - Stines from Germany.</p> <p><strong>Margie Buckingham</strong> - A palm-sided wooden carved elephant from a side trip off my cruise from Singapore to Malaysia & Thailand and back to celebrate my 40th. It sits on my mantelpiece so to deliberately trigger good memories of a younger me.</p> <p><strong>Frank Nieuwenhuis</strong> - 2300 year old oil lamp bought in Israel.</p> <p><strong>Fay Russell</strong> - Turkish tea set. </p> <p><strong>Valma Blake</strong> - Of all the things I've bought on my travels, my favourite is my cat ornament collection that are decorated relative to the country or area I visited.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

International Travel

Readers response: What’s the best book you’ve read recently, and what did you love about it?

<p>With hundreds of new books on the market, it's hard to know what are the best to recommend.</p> <p>We asked our readers what the best book they've read recently is and what did they love about it, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Helen Ulgekutt</strong> - The Venice Hotel by Tess Woods, loved it start to finish.</p> <p><strong>Zoy Crizzle</strong> - The Little Paris Bookshop by Nina George. Great book, so easy to read and an interesting story line. I loved it.</p> <p><strong>Keralie Stack</strong> - I have just finished Fallen Woman by Fiona McIntosh. A good read.</p> <p><strong>Karen Peardon</strong> - The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife by Anna Johnston. A great story.</p> <p><strong>Nola Schmidt</strong> - The Perfect Passion Company by Alexander McCall Smith. It was clever, witty, and gentle. </p> <p><strong>June Lennie</strong> - People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks. Interesting story set in different historical periods. Brilliantly written and researched.</p> <p><strong>Christine Hayes</strong> - Where the Crawdads Sing, just beautiful.</p> <p><strong>Sandra Moores</strong> - All That's Left Unsaid by Tracey Lien. A great debut based in Cabramatta, very compelling read.</p> <p><strong>Greg Cudmore </strong>- 'To Alpha From Omega'. Although very much Australian, its themes are universal.</p> <p><strong>Denise Zephyr</strong> - The Days I Loved You Most. Such a beautiful story and a beautiful ending.</p> <p><strong>Marie Chong</strong> - Minding Frankie by Maeve Binchy. I love all her books, she tells a good story.</p> <p><strong>Yvonne Bercov</strong> - The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah, couldn’t put it down.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p> </p>

Books

School apologises for removing memorial after girl's suicide

<p>Santa Sabina College has apologised after removing a makeshift memorial to honour the life of 12-year-old Charlotte O'Brien, who took her own life after years of alleged bullying at the school. </p> <p>The year 7 student died in September after being bullied at the Catholic school in the inner-west Sydney suburb of Strathfield.</p> <p>Following her tragic death, Charlotte's family created a memorial near the school, only for it to be removed days later, leaving her loved ones devastated.</p> <p>Principal Paulina Skerman initially defended the decision to remove the memorial, citing advice from mental health experts at Headspace, saying, "On the advice of mental health experts including Headspace, who are working with the College, we removed the memorial because of the concerns that were raised about the impact this could have on other young people."</p> <p>However, 2GB radio host Ben Fordham challenged her reasoning and reached out to Headspace, who said they gave no such advice to the school principal. </p> <p>"Headspace did not recommend Santa Sabina or Paulina Skerman remove the memorial dedicated to Charlotte. To say that they did is a straight-out lie," Fordham told his listeners.</p> <p>He added, "It never ever happened. Headspace did not advise Paulina Skerman or anyone at Santa Sabina to take it down."</p> <p>After Fordham's revelations, the school issued an apology on Monday, saying, "We are devastated for Charlotte's family and friends, and we acknowledge that some of the college's initial statements to the media were inadequate and hurtful."</p> <p>"We apologise to Charlotte's family for this. It was never our intention to add to their pain. We acknowledge that, at times, our efforts have fallen short, and we are sincerely sorry."</p> <p>"The choice to remove the public memorial was a difficult one, balancing the desire to honor Charlotte's memory with our responsibility to prevent further distress to students."</p> <p>"Ms Skerman was grateful to visit Charlotte's parents, Kelly and Matt, to apologise to them personally. We are committed to working together to create a permanent memorial to remember Charlotte. She will not be forgotten."</p> <p><em><strong>Need to talk to someone? Don't go it alone.</strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit <a href="http://lifeline.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-stringify-link="http://lifeline.org.au" data-sk="tooltip_parent">lifeline.org.au</a></strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636</strong></em></p> <p><em><strong>SANE: 1800 187 263 or visit <a href="http://saneforums.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" data-stringify-link="http://saneforums.org" data-sk="tooltip_parent">saneforums.org</a></strong></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: 7News / Facebook</em></p>

Family & Pets

Family heartbroken after school removes teen's memorial site

<p>Charlotte O'Brien, 12, sadly <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/family-pets/mother-s-heartbreaking-farewell-at-bullied-daughter-s-funeral" target="_blank" rel="noopener">took her own life</a> on September 9 after experiencing relentless bullying at Santa Sabina College in Strathfield, Sydney. </p> <p>Following the young schoolgirl's tragic death, her heartbroken family set up a memorial for her on a tree near the school. Her aunt Melinda Rodgers explained it was the only way they could bid farewell to the teen. </p> <p>“It was something we wanted to do for Charlotte because we didn’t get the opportunity to say goodbye,” she told <em>Nine News</em>.</p> <p>“It was our special way of giving her something to say you mattered and we miss you.”</p> <p>The memorial was set up over the weekend, with a small plaque put in place and flowers which began piling up as others started to pay tribute to the 12-year-old. </p> <p>On Monday afternoon, the memorial site had been removed. The family first realised this when they saw Charlotte's grandfather, who had previously left flowers at the site, “wandering aimlessly up and down the street … trying to find the memorial site to lay his flowers”</p> <p>“Words cannot express how devastated we were,” Rodgers said, after finding out the memorial site had been removed. </p> <p>Paulina Skerman the principal of the school, confirmed they had removed the memorial “because of concerns that were raised about the impact this could have on young people”. </p> <p>She explained that the school was “with Charlotte’s family to find a permanent and loving way to remember Charlotte” and promised the 12-year-old would “not be forgotten”.</p> <p>Despite the school's explanation, Charlotte's father Mat, said he was “running out of words” to describe his feelings about the situation. </p> <p>“From the school’s perspective, If I was given advice to remove those things, I wouldn’t have touched them,” he said, adding it would be a "positive step" for the school to put up a permanent memorial to his daughter. </p> <p>Her parents had previously opened up about how disappointed they were in the school for reportedly showing "no empathy" during their <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/parents-disappointed-by-principal-s-response-to-daughter-s-suicide" target="_blank" rel="noopener">20-minute meeting</a> with the principal, following Charlotte's death. </p> <p>“We arrived there and met with the principal. When I shared the feedback, she wasn’t interested in receiving that. The feedback was interrupted. It was discounted. It was disagreed with," Mat said at the time.</p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">Need to talk to someone? Don't go it alone.</span></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Lifeline: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">13 11 14</span>, <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">lifeline.org.au </a></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; background-color: #ffffff;"><span style="color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, Segoe UI, Roboto, Helvetica Neue, Arial, sans-serif, Apple Color Emoji, Segoe UI Emoji, Segoe UI Symbol, Noto Color Emoji;"><em>Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 or <a href="http://kidshelpline.com.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">kidshelpline.com.au</a></em></span></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; background-color: #ffffff;"> </p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">SANE Support line and Forums: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">1800 187 263,</span> <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://saneforums.org/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">saneforums.org</a></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Headspace: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">1800 650 890,</span> <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://headspace.org.au/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">headspace.org.au</a></em></p> <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 1rem; color: #212529; font-family: -apple-system, 'system-ui', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, sans-serif, 'Apple Color Emoji', 'Segoe UI Emoji', 'Segoe UI Symbol', 'Noto Color Emoji'; font-size: 16px; background-color: #ffffff;"><em style="box-sizing: border-box;">Beyond Blue: <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: bolder;">1300 224 635</span>, <a style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #258440; text-decoration-line: none; background-color: transparent; transition: 0.2s ease-in-out;" href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/beyondblue.org.au" target="_blank" rel="noopener">beyondblue.org.au </a></em></p> <p> </p> <p><em>Images: news.com.au</em></p>

Family & Pets

Arguing with the people you love? How to have a healthy family dispute

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a></em></p> <p>Unlike Britain’s royal family, most of us don’t have the option to move to another country when we don’t see eye to eye. But most of us have likely experienced disagreements with loved ones.</p> <p><a href="https://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/soc/faculty/heritage/Site/Publications_files/CA_as_SOCIAL_THEORY.pdf">Conversations are designed to</a> do things – to start some action, and complete it – whether it’s a service transaction, an invitation to coffee or reassurance on a bad day. Our <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=ZnhyDwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false">uniquely complex communicative system</a> has evolved to help us get things done in the social world.</p> <p>Arguments are part of this complex system. They can be unavoidable, necessary or even productive. But they can also be difficult.</p> <p>It can be hard to know what to do when tensions are high and harsh words are flying, particularly when it involves someone you’re close to. But research on how disputes unfold – and conversation more generally – offers some ideas about the best way to handle one.</p> <h2>What is a dispute?</h2> <p>There are many words for disagreeing, and there are plenty of academic theories describing what disputes are and why they happen. But arguments are not abstract models. They’re lived in, breathed in, sweated in and talked (or sometimes shouted) into being.</p> <p>Research focusing on <a href="https://core.ac.uk/download/pdf/288351315.pdf">how disputes actually happen</a> shows they’re characterised by three types of features. First are the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0378216606000488">vocal features</a>, which include talking in a higher pitch, louder and faster. Then, there are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1750481310395452?casa_token=MCNQWEQD6HwAAAAA:8nbyXh-cgjWzfL3syRrwybRFQl_ddHIMy9tRIAwPRAFADrgHtR2LSl9ZoUFsVlnzWPjWaKQZZ9XEVA">embodied features</a> such as aggressive gestures and avoidant stances, such as turning away from someone. Finally, there are <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/01638539009544746?casa_token=BB9edpIE1oUAAAAA:FTK-JRJ2oCmG7BufkUAQX1k1_9C1Cvc12r5ynYPM6duFB-HDWhgef8Va-Rh5Z2XksR64oTcPmi4FAQ">interactional features</a> such as talking over each other, not listening or metatalk – <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/08351813.2020.1826765?casa_token=isJl2NJbSIkAAAAA:Mh-dXMfkBSGvEeoOWAoxLDjzbZ_eF-zbND-D8q4RAP5WHadqg1KUZDF_UnySFAcyb3LD-DF3BbGq1A">comments about the conversation</a> as it’s happening.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1354067X9953001?casa_token=Gje17vkyg_AAAAAA:ik_4Ze-4PIFLa6yjthOpztvJrtdVOokhRT73M8jDN4t1w0Bl7WzW2--d1vjZwanphorOH_r6jaVZdA">Displays of emotion</a> such as displeasure or anger, are also common. Participants might accuse each other of emotions or label their own emotions.</p> <p>Disputes happen for several reasons. What each person is doing can vary, from <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.530.8869&rep=rep1&type=pdf">complaints and accusations</a> to <a href="https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1348/014466610X500791?casa_token=r58ikQ5XFxEAAAAA:QR9wr0Fcz7q5BeSvL8soAIhKMNA1O9TcpcBaLleBKDvZ8Q5sPyX1OSg0OzSL5-xb8By5QbgNm9kHNhg">demands, threats or resistance</a>.</p> <p>They can be about many things – familial obligations, what to have for dinner, politics or how to plan a holiday. Luckily, disputes share elements <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=2NxaC7nSetAC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_atb#v=onepage&q&f=false">with each other</a> and with conversation generally – so you don’t have to invent new strategies every time you’re caught in one.</p> <h2>Affiliation and alignment</h2> <p>When bickering with a friend or family member, there are ways to make them feel like you’re still on their side even if you disagree. If you can keep these in mind, and use them at the right time, you might stop your dispute from escalating into something harder to mend.</p> <p>The first thing is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781405198431.wbeal0196.pub2">affiliation</a>, which means support for the other person or their view of things.</p> <p>Affiliation involves phrasing what you say so it’s best <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/pdf/10.1080/08351810903471258?casa_token=yxnWxfDAEB8AAAAA:uoHEX2dlOS06wxwlHH7TOWmmfB51qMMbzg5tadx5SeRcf_5-vABUKQZtIt0Hchu4vUlFNfCX4qRi5A">understood and easier to respond to</a>. For example, saying “you’ve been to France before, right?” invites someone to share their experience – partly by including the tag “right” at the end, which at least requires a confirmation.</p> <p>It can also involve categorisation, the way we talk about or treat others as <a href="https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007/BF00142771.pdf">certain types or group members</a>. For example, if you reduce the other person to a stereotype through labelling – by saying something like “girls always say stuff like that” or “OK, boomer” – you risk provoking a response to the insult, not to the action in which that insult was embedded.</p> <p>The second thing we expect from any conversation is alignment – cooperating with the direction of the conversation, such as accepting or denying a request. The opposite, disalignment, might occur when a request is ignored.</p> <p>Alignment has more to do with the sequence of the conversation, how the dispute unfolds over time. Asking for clarification – a practice known as <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0136100">repair</a> – or <a href="https://www.jbe-platform.com/content/journals/10.1075/prag.27.1.03rob?crawler=true">claiming a misunderstanding</a> can treat problems as fixable errors rather than moral failings or attacks. <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0261927X17744244">Humour can diffuse</a> conflict escalation.</p> <h2>How to have a healthy dispute</h2> <p>In the course of a dispute, you need to think about when to bring these tactics out. They’re more likely to yield better outcomes earlier in the dispute. By the time it’s escalated, your responses may be viewed through the prism of the dispute and <a href="https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=eFSXDwAAQBAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PT200&ots=6tM3fJnXr1&sig=Zchtur1abh25W7ERN5Q49ASRaJc#v=onepage&q&f=false">any offensiveness</a> you’ve already displayed toward each other. In cases like this, teasing can come across as contempt, for example, and claims to misunderstand as bad-faith mockery.</p> <p>It can feel like disputes take on a life of their own – as if the conversation uses us rather than we use it – and this is partly because conversation can seemingly take us along for the ride (consider the difficulty of turning down invitations). We invest our identities into conversations so disputes can seem to threaten us and <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0378216618304302?casa_token=1SbOpn_2k8MAAAAA:YQ2Yb9nt-ONsmBKmVzTCx8cfl76bS5nK6_Yd8zONBVJFdJ57vwgdBDJxsXfk0aUOhilRQAF-ABA">what we stand for</a> morally.</p> <p>This may be starker with family, whose opinions of us often matter more than friends or colleagues, for example. It’s always worth stopping to reflect on what a dispute is really for, whether what you’re saying lines up with your goals and whether taking a stand is worth it.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/159565/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jessica-robles-617248">Jessica Robles</a>, Lecturer in Social Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/loughborough-university-1336">Loughborough University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/arguing-with-the-people-you-love-how-to-have-a-healthy-family-dispute-159565">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

"Super uncomfortable for everyone": Qantas plays R-rated movie for every passenger

<p>Qantas has issued an apology after an R-rated movie was played for every passenger onboard a flight from Sydney to Tokyo. </p> <p>On Saturday, the flight was delayed by an hour due to problems with the in-flight entertainment system, which resulted in cabin crew only being able to play one film on everyone's individual screens. </p> <p>After requests were taken by passengers, the movie <em>Daddio</em> was chosen. </p> <p>The 2023 drama stars Sean Penn and Dakota Johnson as a taxi driver and his passenger as they discuss their relationships, including an affair Johnson’s character had with a married man.</p> <p>One passenger took to Reddit to share their experience of the flight, saying it was "extremely inappropriate", due to scenes of “graphic nudity and a lot of sexting”.</p> <p>“The kind where you could literally read the texts on screen without needing headphones,” the passenger wrote.</p> <p>“It was super uncomfortable for everyone, especially with families and kids on board.”</p> <p>Another passenger said the airline made the switch to <em>Inside Out 2</em> followed by a New Zealand nature show after playing “40 minutes of penis and boobs”.</p> <p>“These poor kids and the parents because y’all should’ve heard the audible gasps across the plane,” the passenger said.</p> <p>Cabin crew members attempted to fix the screens of those who didn't want to watch the R-rated film, but when this didn't work, resorted to switching the movie entirely. </p> <p>“The movie was clearly not suitable to play for the whole flight and we sincerely apologise to customers for this experience,” a Qantas spokesperson stated.</p> <p>“All screens were changed to a family-friendly movie for the rest of the flight, which is our standard practice for the rare cases where individual movie selection isn’t possible."</p> <p>“We are reviewing how the movie was selected.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Travel Trouble

‘We’re all Muriel’: why we still love Muriel’s Wedding, 30 years on

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-french-12625">Lisa French</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a></em></p> <p>P.J. Hogan’s classic Australian film Muriel’s Wedding is 30 and it plays as well today as it did when it had its world premiere. Muriel might have been “terrible” – but the film was a great success.</p> <p>Australians love to laugh at themselves, and everyone loves an underdog. Muriel’s Wedding took more than A$15 million at the box office in Australia — making it one of the <a href="https://www.screenaustralia.gov.au/fact-finders/cinema/australian-films/feature-film-releases/top-australian-films">highest-grossing</a> Australian feature films of all time.</p> <p>As fun as the film is with its kitsch aesthetic, bold colour palette and garish costumes, it has a unique mix of comedy and serious drama. It slips from the absurd to painful realism, with more depth than your average comedy and a twist in the plot that made it an original take on the genre.</p> <p>While Australians generally have received it as hilarious, audiences elsewhere were more attuned to the tragedy, such as Muriel’s mother Betty’s suicide following relentless bullying, and Rhonda’s illness and disability. But it worked for audiences everywhere who warmed to the representation of friendship, its emotional compassion and critique of the narrow mindedness of small-town communities.</p> <h2>‘We’re all Muriel’</h2> <p>Sometimes it is the stars who can bring in an audience and make a film successful. However, although there were a lot of experienced actors in Muriel’s Wedding, Toni Collette (Muriel) and Rachel Griffiths (Rhonda) – whose performances were exceptional – were both playing lead and supporting roles for the first time in a feature film.</p> <p>It was also Hogan’s first feature, so it is unlikely star power drew in audiences (although all of them were to become stars, and Hogan later directed My Best Friend’s Wedding with Julia Roberts, one of the <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/08/best-romantic-comedies-list">top romantic comedies of all time</a>).</p> <p>It did, however, have a wonderful trailer.</p> <p>I asked Rachel Griffiths what she thought was the key to the film’s success and she identified its universality: it translated for an array of audiences and enabled broad identification.</p> <p>She described the film as having one foot in the grotesque and the other in Ridley Scott’s 1991 getaway heist Thelma & Louise – another film about female friendship, independence and individual growth.</p> <p>Griffiths gave the example of going with the film to New York on its release and discovering it was wildly meaningful to the LGBTQIA+ community. In conversation with a gay man in his late 20s, he described it as a parable for AIDS, which at that time was in full-blown crisis.</p> <p>According to Griffiths, he said: “We’re all Muriel. We don’t fit in.”</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/laHqRJeXeVU?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>Growing up in small towns where they are “the freak”, with closet musical tastes, he said:</p> <blockquote> <p>We’re the outcasts in our family. Our fathers belittle us for being feminine. We escape to the big smoke with the promise of becoming ourselves and following our own journey. We replace our families who have rejected us with our chosen family who celebrate us.</p> </blockquote> <p>And when one of their own is struck suddenly by this terrible affliction, like Rhonda, they are sent home in humiliation, to be looked after, which is their worst fear. The aspiration is to be rescued by the adopted family and taken back to the big city and shown unconditional love.</p> <p>Griffiths says:</p> <blockquote> <p>That’s the ending and the survival story of both Rhonda and Muriel, you go back to that kind of pride moment, to be proud of who you are.</p> </blockquote> <p>For Griffiths, Rhonda and Muriel have “a kind of blood-sister friendship, a bond that can’t be broken”.</p> <p>We all long for that deep acceptance. It is a parable of inclusion, where Muriel and Rhonda truly see and accept each other and themselves.</p> <h2>A feminist film</h2> <p>I asked Griffiths if Muriel’s Wedding was received as feminist when it was released. She replied it wasn’t at the time it was made, but more recently this has come up.</p> <p>Her explanation of why this wasn’t considered 30 years ago is informative regarding film criticism. She elaborated that the critics at the time were 90% male and their take on feminism expected powerful female lead characters who pursue their goals and achieve in the face of competition.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/oykn8YgGkJs?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <p>In this story, there is a girl escaping patriarchal control. Muriel’s father, Bill Heslop (Bill Hunter), is a bully and narcissist who blames everyone else – especially the women – for his failures.</p> <p>Griffiths aligns Muriel to the Cinderella myth because in the beginning she sees her value will only be ascribed to her once she marries. The film, Griffiths said, is “a fundamental kind of feminist journey”.</p> <p>The central focus is Muriel’s personal growth in rejecting ideology that promotes romantic coupling as the pinnacle of happiness for women. Instead Muriel embraces her own worth and her friendship with Rhonda. Marriage is portrayed as a patriarchal structure that ideologically binds women – the marriages are variously fraudulent, starting with Tanya and Chook, then Muriel and, ultimately, her mother.</p> <p>There are many elements that make Muriel’s Wedding an Australian classic, from the universal themes and relatability to how the story is able to extend beyond national borders. The film leaves us with admiration for resilience in the face of adversity, signalled by Muriel and Rhonda grinning assuredly at each other in the final scene.</p> <p>It is a unique and very real comedy/drama with a highly engaging aesthetic and a feminist message. It is an opportunity to laugh at ourselves, despite quite a lot of tragedy and adversity — which is a very Australian thing to do!</p> <p><em>The author wishes to thank Rachel Griffiths who was interviewed in Melbourne on August 17 2020.</em><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/236793/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-french-12625">Lisa French</a>, Professor & Dean, School of Media and Communication, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/rmit-university-1063">RMIT University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Miramax</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/were-all-muriel-why-we-still-love-muriels-wedding-30-years-on-236793">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Movies

200-year-old message in a bottle unearthed

<p>In a discovery that has the archaeology world buzzing (and possibly rolling its ancient eyes), a team of student volunteers in northern France has unearthed something rather unexpected during their dig at a Gaulish village.</p> <p>While they were hoping for the usual – ancient pottery shards, perhaps a coin or two – they instead stumbled upon what can only be described as the 19th-century equivalent of a DM in a bottle.</p> <p>The scene played out like a low-budget historical drama: volunteers painstakingly sifting through centuries-old dirt on the cliff-tops near Dieppe when, voilà! They found an earthenware pot containing a small glass vial, like something you might see in a vintage pharmacy, but with fewer essential oils and more existential surprises.</p> <p>Guillaume Blondel, the team leader and head of the archaeological service for the nearby town of Eu, was immediately intrigued. “It was the kind of vial that women used to wear around their necks containing smelling salts,” he explained, before casually dropping the bombshell: inside the vial was a note.</p> <p>Cue dramatic music.</p> <p>After what we can only assume was a long, suspenseful pause, Blondel and his team opened the note, which turned out to be written by none other than P.J. Féret, a 19th-century intellectual who clearly had a flair for both excavation and theatrics.</p> <p>The note, written with all the panache of a man who had just unearthed Caesar’s salad fork, read:</p> <p>"P.J. Féret, a native of Dieppe, member of various intellectual societies, carried out excavations here in January 1825. He continues his investigations in this vast area known as the Cité de Limes or Caesar’s Camp."</p> <p>Naturally, Blondel was floored. “It was an absolutely magic moment,” he said, no doubt imagining Féret winking at him from the beyond. “We knew there had been excavations here in the past, but to find this message from 200 years ago? It was a total surprise.”</p> <p>Local records confirm that P.J. Féret was indeed the real deal. He wasn’t just a dabbler in dirt – he was a notable dabbler in dirt who had conducted an earlier dig at the site in 1825.</p> <p>In a stroke of irony not lost on Blondel, he mused, “Most archaeologists prefer to think that there won’t be anyone coming after them because they’ve done all the work.” Féret, however, clearly believed in leaving a trail of breadcrumbs – or, in this case, a literal note in a bottle, just to remind future archaeologists that he got there first. Féret: 1, Modern Archaeology: 0.</p> <p>Of course, this whole affair raises some important questions: Did Féret expect someone to find this? Did he laugh to himself as he buried it, imagining Blondel’s reaction? Did Féret know how cliff erosion would eventually turn his humble Gaulish village into a treasure trove for future archaeologists? Or was he simply trolling them from the past?</p> <p>Whatever the case, Féret’s note may not have contained ancient secrets, but it certainly delivered some 19th-century sass. And if we’ve learned anything from this dig, it’s this: archaeology isn’t just about discovering the past – it’s also about being occasionally roasted by it.</p> <p>As Blondel and his team continue their emergency dig (which was ordered due to cliff erosion eating away at the site like a bad buffet), they’ve already uncovered a number of artefacts, mostly pottery, from around 2,000 years ago. But will any of <em>them</em> have the audacity to leave a note for the archaeologists of 2225?</p> <p>We’ll have to wait and see. In the meantime, Féret is probably laughing somewhere in the afterlife, shaking his head and muttering, “Amateurs”.</p> <p><em>Images: <span style="font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'Segoe UI', Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, 'Open Sans', 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif;">Guillaume Blondel / Facebook</span></em></p>

International Travel

"Love lives on": Touching Irwin tributes on 18th anniversary of Steve's death

<p>Terri Irwin has paid a touching tribute to her late husband, Steve Irwin, on the 18th anniversary of his passing, stirring emotions among fans worldwide.</p> <p>In a poignant Instagram post, Terri, 59, shared a nostalgic photo of the couple, embraced warmly in front of Cradle Mountain in Tasmania. Accompanying the image was the simple yet profound caption, “Love lives on,” followed by a red heart emoji. The tribute evoked an outpouring of support and love from fans and followers, many of whom expressed the lasting impact the Irwin family has had on their lives.</p> <p>One fan wrote, “Thank you for sharing that love with us. I grew up to never settle for less,” while another reflected, “He was my idol growing up... It’s crazy to think it’s been 18 years since that tragic day. Long live the crocodile king.” Even singer-songwriter Amy Shark commented, “This is just beautiful.”</p> <p>This tribute follows Terri’s Father's Day post, where she shared touching side-by-side photos of Steve and their son Robert, both holding large native lizards. “Steve had so much love for Robert and Bindi. He was the best dad,” she wrote. “I know he would be proud of the way they have continued his message and mission for conservation.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C_iQJIzS6_Z/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C_iQJIzS6_Z/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Terri Irwin (@terriirwincrikey)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Steve Irwin, known globally as “The Crocodile Hunter", tragically died at age 44 on September 4, 2006, after being pierced in the chest by a stingray while filming a documentary off the coast of Queensland. His death left an indelible mark on fans worldwide, but his legacy has been passionately carried on by his family.</p> <p>His daughter, Bindi, also shared a heartfelt tribute to her father, posting a throwback photo of Steve handling a crocodile. She reflected on the honour of continuing his work, writing, “Your legacy lives on in our family, our team, Australia Zoo, Wildlife Warriors, and The Crocodile Hunter Lodge. Hope to make you proud.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C_gzUmuBQH2/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C_gzUmuBQH2/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Bindi Irwin (@bindisueirwin)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The Irwin family’s commitment to wildlife conservation has only strengthened in the years since Steve’s passing. Australia Zoo, originally built by Steve’s father, Bob Irwin, in 1970, has flourished under their stewardship. The family continues Steve’s mission through their wildlife reality series, <em>Crikey! It’s the Irwins</em>, which debuted in 2018 and remains popular on Animal Planet.</p> <p>Fans around the world continue to honour Steve’s memory, with many sharing their admiration on social media. One fan wrote, “I am so thankful that a piece of Steve really did live on in you guys. Outstanding in your own right and amazing to see,” while another commented, “Amazing how Steve changed the way we viewed wildlife in Australia.”</p> <p>Steve Irwin’s influence on wildlife conservation, his pioneering television work, and his legacy of love and adventure live on, continuing to inspire millions worldwide. His family’s unwavering dedication ensures that his passion for nature and animals will never be forgotten.</p> <p><em>Image: Instagram</em></p>

Family & Pets

Readers response: What’s your favourite travel memory with your children?

<p>One of the best parts about travelling is having your kids, or even grandkids, in tow to experience a unique holiday together. </p> <p>We asked our reader what their favourite travel memory they're shared with their children is and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Lynne Fairbrother</strong> - All the camping trips we made when they were kids, great family fun.</p> <p><strong>Karen Ambrose</strong> - A long boat trip on the canals in England…. fabulous.</p> <p><strong>Christine Whyte</strong> - Lovely family holidays where I holidayed with my parents, aunties, uncles, and cousins every year for over 18 years. Great summers of beach and fishing and fun times.</p> <p><strong>Suzie Justinic</strong> - Many overseas trips we had as a family to see family in other countries.</p> <p><strong>Cathrine Stanton Hillier</strong> - Sleeping in the back window ledge of the car. Mum made a small sleeping bag for me.</p> <p><strong>Margie Buckingham</strong> - Every year, one holiday was an ‘away holiday’ while the other 3 were spent at nanny’s beach house, which were just the best!</p> <p>Touring Tassie on the Spirit was a great holiday. So was the Gold Coast doing the Theme Parks. But I think the best was driving to Sydney for the Olympics 2000.</p> <p><strong>Barbara Holmes</strong> - The great holidays staying at Cairns Colonial Resort in the 80’s! </p> <p><strong>Jill Harker</strong> - Emigrating from the UK to Australia on the ship in 1970 when the boys were about 7 and 8!</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Travel Tips

Flight attendant shares travel tips for loved-up couples

<p dir="ltr">A flight attendant has shared what loved-up couples should not do when taking a trip together. </p> <p dir="ltr">Seasoned cabin crew member Suzanne Bucknam has warned couples to be wary of appropriate behaviour, and advised against these travel “icks”. </p> <p dir="ltr">Suzie told <em><a href="https://www.skyparksecure.com/">SkyParkSecure</a></em>, that one thing couples should be aware of when travelling are public displays of affection (PDA), which could land you in trouble. </p> <p dir="ltr">"A kiss on the lips or handholding doesn't warrant ick status but making out and putting a blanket over each other's laps gets very uncomfortable for everyone in the vicinity," Suzanne explains.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I've seen several couples attempt to join the mile-high club either in the bathroom or, worse, at their seats with said blanket over them. In fact, I've caught a couple with their pants down in the back of our plane once. We did an emergency landing and had them escorted off the plane, then got back in the air without them.”</p> <p dir="ltr">"It should be known that you can be arrested for public indecency, and flight attendants won't be afraid to call the authorities if they see you trying to get too cosy with your partner."</p> <p dir="ltr">Another must do for travelling couples is to book your plane seats together, rather than ask other passengers to change seats. </p> <p dir="ltr">"A simple boarding process can become a nightmare if couples don't book seats together but demand another passenger to move," she says.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Not only does it slow the process down significantly, but it often causes an altercation between passengers when someone won't move. Someone picked and paid for that seat, so they are well within their right to turn down a request to switch."</p> <p dir="ltr">Suzie said that while she understands couples, especially honeymooners, are excited about their travels, that doesn’t give them the right to make demands, and being difficult will get you nowhere. </p> <p dir="ltr">"What I wish all honeymooners knew before travelling somewhere is that, just because they're celebrating, it doesn't mean others have to celebrate or contribute to that celebration. If you do get a free upgrade or a free drink, fantastic! But please don't demand one from an unsuspecting flight attendant," she explains.</p> <p dir="ltr">"And as an employee who has been in that situation, it's just plain awkward if there are no upgrades available, and it's against the airline's policy to give freebies."</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p> </p>

Travel Tips

Olympics of love: 7 wedding proposals and counting!

<p>Paris truly is the city of love, with a growing list of athletes proposing to during the Olympics. </p> <p>The latest athlete to get down on one knee is French runner Alice Finot, making her the seventh Games athlete to tie the knot. </p> <p>Finot's proposal has gone viral for her break in stereotypes, after she decided to propose to her boyfriend after her action-packed 3000m steeplechase race. </p> <p>After the women's final, she ran towards the stand searching for her partner, kneeled down and proposed by offering him an Olympic pin, which reads "Love is in the air in Paris", which she had held during the race.</p> <p>As she handed it to her boyfriend, Spanish triathlete Bruno Martínez Bargiela, the couple broke into a long and passionate hug that moved her now-fiancé to tears.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-YDFyCxu_i/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C-YDFyCxu_i/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by TRACK NEWS TODAY (@tracknewstoday)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The proposal happened after Finot had just broken the European record in the discipline, missing out on the bronze medal just by a margin of a few seconds.</p> <p>It was Argentina that launched the trend of athletes getting proposed in the City of Love, as men's handball player Pablo Simonet proposed to field hockey team member Maria Campoy during a photo opportunity just one day after the opening ceremony.</p> <p>On Friday, French skiff sailing partners Sarah Steyaert and Charline Picon were both proposed to after scooping a bronze, just one day before badminton player Liu Yu Chen proposed to her girlfriend Huang Ya Qiong after she'd won a gold medal.</p> <p>The US Team have also been loved up while in Paris, as rowing athlete Justin Best got engaged to former Irish dancer Lainey Duncan on Monday, a day after shot putter Payton Otterdahl <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/olympian-proposes-in-the-city-of-love" target="_blank" rel="noopener">proposed</a> to his girlfriend, Maddy Nilles, in front of the Eiffel Tower.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Nine News </em></p>

Relationships

Olympian proposes in the City of Love

<p>US shot putter Payton Otterdahl is finally engaged to his longtime girlfriend Maddy Nilles after eight years together. </p> <p>In a heartwarming post shared to Instagram, the Olympian captured the exact moment he popped the question under the Eiffel Tower. </p> <p>"Meanwhile, in the City of Love..." he captioned the photo in the City of Love. </p> <p>"I love you forever, Maddy Nilles!" Otterdahl added with a red heart emoji.</p> <p>In another photo, the newly-engaged couple were pictured sharing a kiss under the iconic monument to celebrate the milestone. </p> <p>Nilles re-shared the post to her Instagram story with a wholesome message in French.</p> <p>"Je vous aime," she wrote, which means "I love you" in English.</p> <p>While Otterdahl just missed out on an Olympic medal in Paris as he placed fourth in the shot put, many congratulated him for taking home the best prize - a love that will "last a lifetime". </p> <p>"Congratulations!!" Team USA shot putter and Olympic silver medalist Joe Kovacs said. </p> <p>"A legendary weekend for you guys. Congrats, and cheers!" one fan wrote. </p> <p>"You just won your gold medal! It will last a lifetime!" another added. </p> <p>"You’re joking!!!! This is the best news!!! A legendary weekend for you guys. Congrats, and cheers!" wrote a third. </p> <p>The Team USA and USA Track and Field accounts have also celebrated the couple's engagement news in a joined Instagram post.</p> <p>"It's an Olympic proposal," they announced. "Congratulations, Payton and Maddy!"</p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Relationships

Sorting a loved one’s finances after their death – what you need to know

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-reed-1548385">Kate Reed</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sheffield-1147">University of Sheffield</a></em></p> <p>Financial anxiety is often talked about, but rarely in the context of bereavement. Following the death of a loved one, relatives usually have to complete a range of financial “death administration” tasks.</p> <p>These can be anything from closing bank accounts and settling utility bills to managing probate (things like property sales, asset management and inheritance distribution). The <a href="https://bereavementcommission.org.uk/media/xube5elb/ukbc_summary_report_low-res.pdf">UK Commission on Bereavement</a> has estimated that 61% of adults struggle to deal with such time consuming and time sensitive administrative responsibilities.</p> <p>While research has begun to shed light on some of the financial difficulties bereaved people can face after the death of a <a href="https://bmcwomenshealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12905-015-0194-1">spouse</a> or a <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/1468-4446.12190">family member</a>, the emotional toll of navigating financial admin after bereavement remains <a href="https://www.bereavementjournal.org/index.php/bcj/article/view/1114">largely invisible</a>.</p> <p>But the good news is there are several resources that can help bereaved people to navigate these processes, including the UK government’s own <a href="https://www.gov.uk/when-someone-dies">step-by-step guide</a>. We conducted <a href="https://thenbs.org/partnerships/death-admin-research-report">research</a> on death admin in collaboration with the <a href="https://thenbs.org/">National Bereavement Service</a>, an organisation that provides free practical and emotional support for anyone who has lost a loved-one. The study showed how government services provide a gateway to sorting out a range of financial issues.</p> <p>Financial organisations require proof of the death through a death certificate. This is provided when you <a href="https://www.gov.uk/when-someone-dies">register</a> a death with the local registrar of births, marriages and deaths. Where there is an inquest, an interim death certificate will be issued.</p> <p>Often, multiple copies of the death certificate are needed. And, at £12.50 for <a href="https://www.gov.uk/order-copy-birth-death-marriage-certificate">each copy</a> (£12 in <a href="https://www.mygov.scot/birth-death-marriage-certificate#:%7E:text=You%20can%20order%20a%20certificate,orders%20made%20in%20another%20way.">Scotland</a>), the financial burden falling on bereaved people can quickly grow.</p> <p>In terms of tax, pensions and benefits, the registrar provides a unique reference number that bereaved people can use to inform the government through a service called <a href="https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once">Tell Us Once</a>.</p> <p>This is an initiative that notifies national and local government bodies including HM Revenue and Customs (to deal with personal tax and to cancel certain benefits and tax credits) and the Department for Work and Pensions (to cancel benefits and entitlements like universal credit or the state pension). The <a href="https://www.gov.uk/valuing-estate-of-someone-who-died?step-by-step-nav=4f1fe77d-f43b-4581-baf9-e2600e2a2b7a">government website</a> also provides help on how to value the person’s estate and work out inheritance tax.</p> <h2>Avoiding family fall-outs</h2> <p>But other financial aspects of death administration can be more challenging to navigate.</p> <p>Probate, for example, is the legal right to deal with someone’s property, money and possessions (their “estate”) when they die. You can <a href="https://www.gov.uk/applying-for-probate?step-by-step-nav=4f1fe77d-f43b-4581-baf9-e2600e2a2b7a">check</a> on the UK government website whether you require probate.</p> <p>It remains one of the most challenging aspects of death administration. Our <a href="https://thenbs.org/partnerships/death-admin-research-report">research</a> shows that people often seek legal advice to manage probate because they are scared to get things wrong, or because they want to avoid future disputes with family members.</p> <p>The process of closing bank accounts and managing assets can be straightforward when the deceased person had made clear arrangements and had few bank accounts. But financial concerns often arise in situations where there are multiple or complicated banking systems. As one of the participants in our research stated: “It’s been a real mess … my dad had quite a few properties, and it’s been quite difficult winding those down.”</p> <p>Worse still, bereaved people can face threatening letters from companies like utilities providers in relation to bills and closing accounts. We found organisations often lack compassion in this context.</p> <p>We encountered cases of companies continuing to write directly to the deceased person, causing further distress to their loved-ones. One of our participants told us that their stepmother was “still getting the bill with my father’s name on, which distresses her”.</p> <p>It is also worth noting that certain types of death present particular administrative and financial challenges. For example, in 2022 17% of deaths in England and Wales were subject to a <a href="https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/coroners-statistics-2022/coroners-statistics-2022-england-and-wales#inquests-opened">coroner’s inquest</a>.</p> <p>These deaths can be more difficult to administer on the Tell Us Once initiative due to the time-lag and extra bureaucracy involved. In addition, many people die without a will, which usually makes navigating financial issues much harder.</p> <p>The location of the death can also have financial implications. For example, our <a href="https://www.bereavementjournal.org/index.php/bcj/article/view/1114">research</a> shows how financing a care home stay is usually interconnected with inheritance or selling the person’s house, which places extra pressure on those trying to release the funds.</p> <p>Many organisations could make their administrative processes clearer and train their staff to be more compassionate towards people who have recently been bereaved.</p> <p>There are, however, glimmers of hope that things are improving. My own father died last year and while my experiences of helping my mum deal with the financial aspects of death administration have been mixed, we did experience many acts of kindness and compassion along the way.</p> <p>There is also excellent practical guidance out there from organisations like the <a href="https://thenbs.org/">National Bereavement Service</a>, which along with emotional support from charities like <a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/">Cruse Bereavement Support</a> are vital to helping people navigate complex administrative systems.</p> <p>The COVID pandemic and death of the queen in 2022 have likely meant that, as a society, we are talking more about death and grief both publicly and privately. Death and bereavement happen to us all, and it is crucial that we talk more openly, not just about our emotional concerns, but about the practical and financial implications too.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/231967/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-reed-1548385">Kate Reed</a>, Professor of Sociology and Director of the Sheffield Methods Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-sheffield-1147">University of Sheffield</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/sorting-a-loved-ones-finances-after-their-death-what-you-need-to-know-231967">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Money & Banking

"Rest in love": All Blacks legend and Dancing with the Stars winner dies at 55

<p>The sports and entertainment communities are mourning the loss of former All Blacks hooker and <em>Dancing with the Stars</em> winner Norm Hewitt, who has passed away at the age of 55.</p> <p>Hewitt, a beloved figure both on and off the rugby field, succumbed to a lengthy battle with motor neurone disease, as confirmed by his family in a heartfelt statement.</p> <p>"Although rugby dominated his early life, he established a thriving human relations consultancy after retirement, and his services were much in demand both nationally and internationally," his family shared. "He walked confidently in both Māori and Pākehā worlds and was a particular role model for troubled youth, citing his own background, and offering inspirational teachings that one’s present life need not be one’s future."</p> <p>Hewitt leaves behind his wife Arlene and their two children, Elizabeth and Alexander. Born and raised in Pōrangahau, southern Hawke’s Bay, Hewitt's rugby career was nothing short of illustrious. Over 13 seasons, he played 296 representative matches for Hawke’s Bay, Southland and Wellington, earning 23 caps for the All Blacks. Hewitt was also a pivotal member of the Hurricanes during the formative years of Super Rugby, missing only one match in the first five years.</p> <p>The rugby community has been profoundly affected by Hewitt's passing. Former teammate Ofisa Tonu’u posted a touching tribute on Facebook: "I’m just devastated finding out the news today. I will never forget how you always stuck up for me during the Black Tracker days when no one else would, you always look after all the players and we always followed you into battle. No more pain, brother, you can now rest in Love. Fa’afetai tele lava my uso for having my back as I did yours. I know the other boys will be welcoming you with open arms at the gates. Rest in Love, Normy."</p> <p>Beyond his rugby career, Hewitt transitioned into a public speaker and mentor, focusing heavily on violence prevention programmes and advocacy. He worked with the SPCA as an animal cruelty and anti-violence publicity officer, visiting schools to spread his message. In 2005, Hewitt showcased his versatility by winning the first season of<em> Dancing with the Stars</em> alongside professional dancer Carol-Ann Hickmore.</p> <p>Hewitt's life was not without its struggles. In 1999, he made a public apology for a drunken incident in Queenstown, marking a turning point as he renounced alcohol and dedicated himself to helping others facing similar challenges.</p> <p>The outpouring of tributes was immediate, with The All Blacks expressing their sorrow: “We are saddened by the loss of All Black #938 Norm Hewitt who passed away yesterday in Wellington. Hewitt played 9 Tests and 14 Games between 1993 and 1998. Our thoughts are with Norm’s family and loved ones at this time.”</p> <p>Podcaster Martin Devlin shared his personal experience: “RIP Norm Hewitt. Not a lot of people know how kind & generous this man was. A truly wonderful person. Reached out to me and helped me considerably a long time ago when things were very rough. Love & respect.”</p> <p>Richard Hills echoed the sentiments of many: “This is bloody sad. A sad way to lose a kiwi icon so young. He had a really rough childhood and upbringing and faced it and turned his life around to become not only a rugby legend but also helped others who’d been through similar issues.”</p> <p>Norm Hewitt’s legacy will endure through the lives he touched and the positive change he inspired. His story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the profound impact one individual can have on the world.</p> <p><em>Image: Radio New Zealand</em></p>

Caring

"I love you forever": Novak Djokovic celebrates 10 year anniversary

<p>Novak Djokovic has celebrated his 10-year wedding anniversary with Jelena Djokovic. </p> <p>The tennis star took to Instagram to share an adorable tribute honouring their anniversary, with a video of the couple dancing, singing and laughing together set to Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers' <em>Islands In The Stream</em>. </p> <p>"Ten years of joy," Novak began in the caption. </p> <p>"Ten years as parents. Ten years as one. Ten years of dancing. Ten years of fun," he wrote.</p> <p>"Ten years of flying. Ten years at sea. Ten years of you. The best part of me."</p> <p>"Ten years of tennis. Ten years of balls. Ten years of triumph. Ten years of falls.</p> <p>"Ten years as teammates. Ten years together. Ten years Jelena. I love you forever."</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C9O8uaeoMZF/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C9O8uaeoMZF/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Novak Djokovic (@djokernole)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The couple first met in high school in the 90s but didn't start dating until a few years later, when Novak finally kicked off his professional tennis career. </p> <p>The high-school sweethearts tied the knot in a ceremony held at Aman Sveti Stefan resort almost a decade later in July 2014, and they were also expecting their first child at the time. </p> <p>The couple now share two children together, Stefan, nine, and Tara, Six. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

Relationships

“Don’t marry him”: Bride-to-be shares wild altercation with her future in-laws over her wedding dress

<p dir="ltr">A woman has been told to “run” from her fiancé after sharing a wild conversation she had with her future in-laws about her wedding dress. </p> <p dir="ltr">The bride-to-be shared that ever since she was a child, she wanted to wear her mother’s wedding dress on her own big day. </p> <p dir="ltr">However, the woman was then confronted by her soon-to-be in-laws, with drama ensuing over her wedding dress.</p> <p dir="ltr">Taking to Reddit’s “Am I The A**hole?” page, the woman explained, "My mother's wedding dress has been passed down for generations and I remember being a little girl dreaming of walking down the aisle in it."</p> <p dir="ltr">Despite her wishes to wear the family heirloom on her big day, she said things went south at a dinner at her sister-in-law’s (SIL) house when she "tapped her spoon against the glass and said that she had to make a toast."</p> <p dir="ltr">"She then said she would be right back before going into another room and returning with a large plastic bag," the bride continues.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Everyone seemed to be excited but I just felt confused."</p> <p dir="ltr">As she "awkwardly smiled", her SIL opened the bag to reveal her wedding dress from her wedding two years earlier as her in-laws began clapping, as her future sister-in-law announced she wanted the bride to wear her dress at her upcoming nuptials.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I tried to smile but I guess I didn't do a good job of hiding my disappointment and everyone began asking me what was wrong," the bride-to-be continues, adding that she tried to explain that she wanted to wear her mother's wedding dress.</p> <p dir="ltr">At this point, her SIL began to cry and her in-laws began berating her, causing the bride to burst into tears and run outside.</p> <p dir="ltr">"My fiancé didn't even come after me and after crying my eyes out on the steps for what felt like hours, he finally came outside and yelled at me to get into the car," she says.</p> <p dir="ltr">Confused, she got into the car only for her fiancé to berate her for making "such a big scene" leaving him feeling "embarrassed in front of his family."</p> <p dir="ltr">"He sounds so mad and he even said he couldn't believe he chose to marry such a 'bitchy c--t' (his exact words)."</p> <p dir="ltr">The woman tried to explain how important it was to her to wear her mother's dress and that she had already promised her mother she would be wearing it on her big day.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I felt like my fiancé's family planned this and put me on the spot thinking I wouldn't stand up for myself and just agree to wear SIL's dress," she continues.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I don't think I did anything wrong but a part of me thinks I should have just gone along with it and then told SIL in private that I wouldn't be wearing the dress."</p> <p dir="ltr">Hundreds of people were quick to comment on her post, suggesting that she “run” not only from her in-laws, but from her partner as well. </p> <p dir="ltr">"Ma'am you need to leave that whole family behind including your fiancé," one said. "You just had a peek into your future if you carry on with this relationship."</p> <p dir="ltr">"Don't you dare marry that man!!!" another said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"The problem doesn't exist as the wedding shouldn't be happening anymore," another added.</p> <p dir="ltr">One Redditor suggested she "be thankful that he is showing you who he really is before you marry him."</p> <p dir="ltr">"You have just had a glimpse of what your future is going to look like if you go through with your wedding."</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

Tastes from our past can spark memories, trigger pain or boost wellbeing. Here’s how to embrace food nostalgia

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/megan-lee-490875">Megan Lee</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/doug-angus-1542552">Doug Angus</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-simpson-1542551">Kate Simpson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a></em></p> <p>Have you ever tried to bring back fond memories by eating or drinking something unique to that time and place?</p> <p>It could be a Pina Colada that recalls an island holiday? Or a steaming bowl of pho just like the one you had in Vietnam? Perhaps eating a favourite dish reminds you of a lost loved one – like the sticky date pudding Nanna used to make?</p> <p>If you have, you have tapped into <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02699931.2022.2142525">food-evoked nostalgia</a>.</p> <p>As researchers, we are exploring how eating and drinking certain things from your past may be important for your mood and mental health.</p> <h2>Bittersweet longing</h2> <p>First named in 1688 by Swiss medical student, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/44437799">Johannes Hoffer</a>, <a href="https://compass.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/spc3.12070">nostalgia</a> is that bittersweet, sentimental longing for the past. It is experienced <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-8721.2008.00595.x">universally</a> across different cultures and lifespans from childhood into older age.</p> <p>But nostalgia does not just involve positive or happy memories – we can also experience nostalgia for <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0022-3514.91.5.975">sad and unhappy moments</a> in our lives.</p> <p>In the <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Femo0000817">short and long term</a>, nostalgia can positively impact our health by improving <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0025167">mood</a> and <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Femo0000817">wellbeing</a>, fostering <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0017597">social connection</a> and increasing quality of life. It can also trigger feelings of <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Femo0000817">loneliness or meaninglessness</a>.</p> <p>We can use nostalgia to <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0025167">turn around a negative mood</a> or enhance our sense of <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Femo0000817">self, meaning and positivity</a>.</p> <p>Research suggests nostalgia alters activity in the <a href="https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/17/12/1131/6585517">brain regions associated with reward processing</a> – the same areas involved when we seek and receive things we like. This could explain the <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X22002445?via%3Dihub">positive feelings</a> it can bring.</p> <p>Nostalgia can also increase feelings of loneliness and sadness, particularly if the memories highlight dissatisfaction, grieving, loss, or wistful feelings for the past. This is likely due to activation of <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2352250X22002445?casa_token=V31ORDWcsx4AAAAA:Vef9hiwUz9506f5PYGsXH-JxCcnsptQnVPNaAGares2xTU5JbKSHakwGpLxSRO2dNckrdFGubA">brain areas</a> such as the amygdala, responsible for processing emotions and the prefrontal cortex that helps us integrate feelings and memories and regulate emotion.</p> <h2>How to get back there</h2> <p>There are several ways we can <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2006-20034-013.html">trigger</a> or tap into nostalgia.</p> <p>Conversations with family and friends who have shared experiences, unique objects like photos, and smells can <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X23000076">transport us back</a> to old times or places. So can a favourite song or old TV show, reunions with former classmates, even social media <a href="https://www.theverge.com/2015/3/24/8284703/facebook-on-this-day-nostalgia-recap">posts and anniversaries</a>.</p> <p>What we eat and drink can trigger <a href="https://www.emerald.com/insight/content/doi/10.1108/QMR-06-2012-0027/full/html">food-evoked nostalgia</a>. For instance, when we think of something as “<a href="https://theconversation.com/health-check-why-do-we-crave-comfort-food-in-winter-118776">comfort food</a>”, there are likely elements of nostalgia at play.</p> <p>Foods you found comforting as a child can evoke memories of being cared for and nurtured by loved ones. The form of these foods and the stories we tell about them may have been handed down through generations.</p> <p>Food-evoked nostalgia can be very powerful because it engages multiple senses: taste, smell, texture, sight and sound. The sense of <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/09658211.2013.876048?casa_token=wqShWbRXJaYAAAAA%3AqJabgHtEbPtEQp7qHnl7wOb527bpGxzIJ_JwQX8eAyq1IrM_HQFIng8ELAMyuoFoeZyiX1zeJTPf">smell</a> is closely linked to the limbic system in the brain responsible for emotion and memory making food-related memories particularly vivid and emotionally charged.</p> <p>But, food-evoked nostalgia can also give rise to <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/hpja.873">negative memories</a>, such as of being forced to eat a certain vegetable you disliked as a child, or a food eaten during a sad moment like a loved ones funeral. Understanding why these foods <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/02699931.2022.2142525?casa_token=16kAPHUQTukAAAAA%3A9IDvre8yUT8UsuiR_ltsG-3qgE2sdkIFgcrdH3T5EYbVEP9JZwPcsbmsPLT6Kch5EFFs9RPsMTNn">evoke negative memories</a> could help us process and overcome some of our adult food aversions. Encountering these foods in a positive light may help us reframe the memory associated with them.</p> <h2>What people told us about food and nostalgia</h2> <p>Recently <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/hpja.873">we interviewed eight Australians</a> and asked them about their experiences with food-evoked nostalgia and the influence on their mood. We wanted to find out whether they experienced food-evoked nostalgia and if so, what foods triggered pleasant and unpleasant memories and feelings for them.</p> <p>They reported they could use foods that were linked to times in their past to manipulate and influence their mood. Common foods they described as particularly nostalgia triggering were homemade meals, foods from school camp, cultural and ethnic foods, childhood favourites, comfort foods, special treats and snacks they were allowed as children, and holiday or celebration foods. One participant commented:</p> <blockquote> <p>I guess part of this nostalgia is maybe […] The healing qualities that food has in mental wellbeing. I think food heals for us.</p> </blockquote> <p>Another explained</p> <blockquote> <p>I feel really happy, and I guess fortunate to have these kinds of foods that I can turn to, and they have these memories, and I love the feeling of nostalgia and reminiscing and things that remind me of good times.</p> </blockquote> <p>Understanding food-evoked nostalgia is valuable because it provides us with an insight into how our sensory experiences and emotions intertwine with our memories and identity. While we know a lot about how food triggers nostalgic memories, there is still much to learn about the specific brain areas involved and the differences in food-evoked nostalgia in different cultures.</p> <p>In the future we may be able to use the science behind food-evoked nostalgia to help people experiencing dementia to tap into lost memories or in psychological therapy to help people reframe negative experiences.</p> <p>So, if you are ever feeling a little down and want to improve your mood, consider turning to one of your favourite comfort foods that remind you of home, your loved ones or a holiday long ago. Transporting yourself back to those times could help turn things around.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/232826/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/megan-lee-490875">Megan Lee</a>, Senior Teaching Fellow, Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/doug-angus-1542552">Doug Angus</a>, Assistant Professor of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/kate-simpson-1542551">Kate Simpson</a>, Sessional academic, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/tastes-from-our-past-can-spark-memories-trigger-pain-or-boost-wellbeing-heres-how-to-embrace-food-nostalgia-232826">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Mind

"We love you, Papa": Sweet father's day tribute to Prince William

<p>Kate Middleton shared a sweet new photo she took of her husband, Prince William, and their children Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis for Father's Day. </p> <p>The Princess of Wales shared the tribute not long after <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/princess-kate-makes-first-public-appearance-since-cancer-diagnosis" target="_blank" rel="noopener">returning to her royal duties</a> at Trooping the Colour on Saturday. </p> <p>The photograph was captioned: "We love you, Papa. Happy Father's Day. G, C & L." </p> <p>In the image, William has his arms around his children as they all stand on a beach facing the sea. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C8Rb1TRtNnh/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C8Rb1TRtNnh/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The Prince and Princess of Wales (@princeandprincessofwales)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Royal fans took to the comments to wish Prince William a happy Father's Day. </p> <p>"This is a lovely photo of a lovely family. Happy Fathers Day, Prince William," wrote one fan. </p> <p>"Really lovely photo, Happy Fathers day William," added another. </p> <p>"What a beautiful photo of William and the children and a sweet message! Happy Father’s Day William," wrote a third. </p> <p>‪"Aww what a beautiful picture taken by our talented Princess of Wales!! And the message from the kids is adorable. You are such a wonderful, loving dad and you just deserve the best!" added a fourth/</p> <p>A few hours before the Father's Day tribute for William was posted, the Prince of Wales shared his own throwback photo with King Charles. </p> <p>"Happy Father's Day, Pa. W," he captioned the photo of them playing football when he was a boy. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p> <p> </p>

Family & Pets

"Love is love": Vietnam veteran reveals lifelong secret in obituary

<p>A Vietnam veteran has kept a heartbreaking secret from his loved ones his entire life, and only revealed the truth in his obituary. </p> <p>Col. Edward Thomas Ryan died at the age of 85 in his home in Albany, New York, after serving as a firefighter in the city of Rensselaer for most of his life. </p> <p>In a final message to the world that he penned before succumbing to cancer, Ryan shared that he had always known he was gay, but was was “afraid of being ostracized" by his loved ones. </p> <p>"I must tell you one more thing. I was Gay all my life: thru grade school, thru High School, thru College, thru Life," he wrote in his obituary, published by the <em>Albany Times Union</em>. </p> <p>"I was in a loving and caring relationship with Paul Cavagnaro of North Greenbush," he confessed.</p> <p>"He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together. Paul died in 1994 from a medical Procedure gone wrong. I'll be buried next to Paul."</p> <p>The former soldier, who served with the Army's 10th Brigade and received several military awards, including the National Defense Service Medal and the Defense of Liberty Medal "for participation to the State" following 9/11, explained that he had never revealed his secret out of fear of being disowned. </p> <p>"I'm sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay. I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers," he recalled. </p> <p>"Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I'll forever Rest in Peace."</p> <p>Aside from serving in the war and being a firefighter, he was also one of the founders and owners of the local Albany radio station WGY-FM.</p> <p>Additionally, he was a chef at the East Greenbush, American Legion Post, and a lifelong member of the Vietnam Veterans of America.</p> <p>Ryan is survived by his 14 nieces and nephews who call him "Uncle Ed". </p> <p>His obituary has since gone viral and many have paid tribute to the Vietnam veteran on his obituary. </p> <p>"Col. Ryan. you lived your life with such bravery and carry it with you in the afterlife. I don't know if we will ever truly feel free. As a gay woman over 60, I struggle with this still. Half out and half in. Thank you for showing us the way to leave this life with dignity while being true to ourselves. The world needs more men like you. True hero," wrote one commenter. </p> <p>"Rest in Power Ed. Thank you for your service to your country. Thank you for the example of how much work we still need to do to honour and respect our brothers and sisters like you," added another. </p> <p>"Love is love. Glad you are finally reunited with yours and you are both resting in peace," wrote a third. </p> <p>"May you rest peacefully in the arms of your forever love. I'm so sorry that you never felt safe to be your authentic self. Your bravery followed you beyond death," added a fourth. </p> <p>"I hope Edward and Paul are reunited now, in love for eternity. Nobody should have to spend a lifetime hiding who they are and who they love," another commenter wrote. </p> <p><em>Image: Legacy.com</em></p> <p> </p>

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Tastes from our past can spark memories, trigger pain or boost wellbeing. Here’s how to embrace food nostalgia

"We love you, Papa": Sweet father's day tribute to Prince William

"Love is love": Vietnam veteran reveals lifelong secret in obituary

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