Placeholder Content Image

"We all come to an end": Beloved comedian's heartbreaking message from palliative care

<p>Scottish comedian Janey Godley has made an emotional announcement to her social media followers, sharing that she is now in palliative care. </p> <p>Godley was forced to cancel her tour after developing sepsis from her cancer treatments, and is now receiving end of life care after a years long battle with ovarian cancer. </p> <p>"So I'm now in palliative care and I am at end-of-life care now in the hospital," the 63-year-old said in a video posted to Instagram. </p> <p>"The chemo ran out of options, and I just couldn't take any more of it," she continued, adding that the "has spread, so it looks like this will be getting to near the end of it, and it's really difficult to speak about this and say it to people."</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAWJ3Qgt-Rx/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAWJ3Qgt-Rx/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Janey Godley (@janeygodley)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>She went on to thank the hospital staff for their efforts, and family and friends for supporting her and husband Sean Storrie and their daughter Ashley through her illness. </p> <p>"It is devastating news to know that I'm facing the end of life but we all come to an end sometime," she continued. </p> <p>"I don't know how long I've got left before anybody asks. I'm not on TikTok so I just want you all to know that I appreciate all the love you've given me."</p> <p>She wished everyone a "lovely Christmas", adding, "I might be here, who knows? But I just want you to know I'm sending all my love to people living with a life-limiting disease."</p> <p>The news comes just weeks after Godley was forced to cancel her tour after developing sepsis while undergoing treatment. </p> <p>An official statement shared, "Janey has been living with stage four ovarian cancer for the past few years and the treatment from the wonderful Scottish NHS has kept the disease at bay, but sadly in the last few weeks the cancer has returned and there have been a few added complications."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram</em></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

What actually is palliative care? And how is it different to end-of-life care?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/samar-aoun-1437641">Samar Aoun</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-western-australia-1067">The University of Western Australia</a></em></p> <p>Although it is associated with dying, palliative care is an approach focused on improving <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6405258/#:%7E:text=QOL%20can%20also%20be%20defined,QOL%20(2%E2%80%934).">quality of life</a> – or how people feel about and respond to facing a life-threatening illness.</p> <p>Palliative care aims to prevent and relieve physical, social, emotional, spiritual and existential distress. Palliative care also supports family caregivers during the disease journey and bereavement phase. You might have heard it mentioned for cancer, but it is beneficial for the majority of life-limiting conditions. It has been shown to reduce health-care costs by <a href="https://palliativecare.org.au/publication/kpmg-palliativecare-economic-report/">preventing</a> unnecessary hospital admissions.</p> <p>Palliative care is not voluntary assisted dying. It does not aim to hasten or prolong death. It is not just for people who are about to die and seeking palliative care does not mean “giving up”. In fact, it can be a profound and positive form of care that the World Health Organization (WHO) has <a href="https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/palliative-care">recognised</a> as a basic human right. But what does it involve?</p> <h2>Not just for someone’s final days</h2> <p>Palliative care is often seen as a “last resort” rather than a service that empowers terminally ill people to live as well as possible for as long as possible.</p> <p>The full benefit of this holistic approach can only be realised if people are referred early to <a href="https://palliativecare.org.au/resource/what-is-palliative-care/">palliative care</a> – ideally from the time they are diagnosed with a terminal illness. Unfortunately, this rarely happens and palliative care tends to blur with <a href="https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/providing-comfort-end-life">end-of-life care</a>. The latter is for people who are likely to die within 12 months but is often left to the last few weeks.</p> <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/qMbq0fP9kr4?wmode=transparent&amp;start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe><figcaption><span class="caption">Palliative is not just for the very end of someone’s life.</span></figcaption></figure> <h2>Palliative care can involve difficult conversations</h2> <p>Palliative care provides a time to ask some usually taboo questions. What kind of death do you want to experience? Who is in your personal network? How will they respond to your life ending? What kind of support can they offer?</p> <p>Palliative care can be provided at home, hospital, hospice or residential aged care facility, depending on the preference and circumstances of patients and their family carers.</p> <p>In general, patients are referred by their treating specialist, health professional or GP. Patient preferences for care and what matters most to them are discussed with their doctor or other health professionals and with their loved ones with <a href="https://www.advancecareplanning.org.au/">advance care planning</a>. These discussions can include information on their preferred place of care, preferred place of death, personal care needs such as dietary preferences and religious and spiritual practices.</p> <p>This helps those caring to make decisions about the patient care when the patient cannot anymore. However, advance care planning can start at any time in life and without a diagnosis.</p> <h2>How palliative care delivery has changed</h2> <p>Once upon a time, we were born at home and we died at home. Death was a social event with a medical component. Now it is close to the opposite. But research indicates a solely clinical model of palliative care (mainly symptom management funded through the health system) is <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/2227-9032/9/12/1615">inadequate</a> to address the complex aspects of death, dying, loss and grief.</p> <p>A <a href="https://www.phpci.org/">public health</a> palliative care approach views the community as an equal partner in the long and complex task of providing quality health care at the end of someone’s life. It promotes conversations about patients’ and families’ goals of care, what matters to them, their needs and wishes, minimising barriers to a “good death”, and supporting the family post-bereavement.</p> <p>These outcomes require the involvement of family carers, friendship networks and not-for-profit organisations, where more detailed conversations about life and death can happen, instead of the “pressure cooker” rushed environment of hospitals and clinics. Investment could develop stronger <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29402101/">death literacy</a> and grief literacy in the community and among health professionals, who may be <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6312518/#:%7E:text=Some%20struggle%20with%20the%20limitations,lead%20in%20opening%20a%20dialogue">reluctant</a> to raise or discuss these topics. This would likely see the take up of advance care planning increase, from the current low levels of <a href="https://www1.racgp.org.au/newsgp/clinical/advance-care-planning-in-an-ageing-population#:%7E:text=A%20paper%20exploring%20the%20cognitive,advance%20health%20directive%20in%20place.">less than 15%</a> of Australians (<a href="https://theconversation.com/only-25-of-older-australians-have-an-advance-care-plan-coronavirus-makes-it-even-more-important-144354">25% of older Australians</a> accessing health and aged-care facilities).</p> <p>One such successful approach is the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9720808/">Compassionate Communities Connectors Program</a> in Western Australia, using trained <a href="https://comcomnetworksw.com/compassionate-connectors-program/">community volunteers</a> to enhance the social networks of terminally ill people.</p> <p>Our research trial trained 20 community volunteers (“connectors”) and 43 patients participated over 18 months. In sourcing others to help (who we called “caring helpers”), connectors built the capacity of the community and social networks around patients in need. Caring helpers assisted with transport, collecting prescriptions, organising meals and linked clients to community activities (such as choirs, walking groups, men’s shed). And they helped complete advance care planning documentation. About 80% of patients’ needs were social, particularly around reducing feelings of isolation.</p> <p>Patients in the trial had fewer hospital admissions and shorter hospital stays.</p> <h2>Tailored to need</h2> <p>Palliative care should be tailored to each person, rather than a one-size-fits-all clinical model that doesn’t respect autonomy and choice.</p> <p>Many people are dying in a way and a place that is not reflective of their values and their end-of-life is interrupted with preventable and costly admissions to hospital where control and even dignity are surrendered. Palliative care hospitalisations have <a href="https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/palliative-care-services/palliative-care-services-in-australia/contents/summary">increased</a> in recent years compared to all hospitalisations, with 65% of such admissions ending with the patient dying in hospital.</p> <p>It is unrealistic and unaffordable to have a palliative care service in every suburb. There needs to be a shift to a more comprehensive, inclusive and sustainable approach, such as Compassionate Communities, that recognises death, dying, grief and loss are everyone’s business and responsibility.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205488/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><em><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></em></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/samar-aoun-1437641">Samar Aoun</a>, Perron Institute Research Chair in Palliative Care, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-western-australia-1067">The University of Western Australia</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-actually-is-palliative-care-and-how-is-it-different-to-end-of-life-care-205488">original article</a>.</em></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Be prepared: plan now for future health and care

<p>There are two things certain in life - death and taxes. One of them only happens once. As much as people don’t want to talk about it, most of us have prepared our loved ones for some key aspects following our death by writing wills and arranging funeral plans. But have we prepared them for making some of the hardest decisions of their life - decisions that may literally determine how well we live and die?</p> <p>Over 50 per cent of people approach their end of life without the capacity to make their own decisions. So, decisions about whether to insert a feeding tube, move to an aged care facility or be resuscitated (and many more) are often left to family members who are making the decision ‘in the dark’ while upset about our declining health. But we can change that. </p> <p><strong>Be Open, Be Ready, Be Heard</strong></p> <p>The first step is to think about what our unique ‘quality of life’ looks like. Or if that is too hard, maybe what a poor ‘quality of life’ looks like. It will be different for each of us. Maybe I could accept being able to eat only pureed food, but would never want to have surgery that left me with ongoing pain. It might be that my neighbour wants to live ‘at all costs’ as long as they can still communicate meaningfully with loved ones. </p> <p>If my sister couldn’t move or talk, she might feel she would be happier looking out on a garden view and find it demeaning if she had people bathing her without introducing themselves. Thinking about all aspects of our lives and considering what matters most to us is the basis of advance care planning. <a href="https://www.advancecareplanning.org.au?utm_medium=paidprint&utm_source=over60&utm_campaign=acpw23" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Advance Care Planning Australia</a> has ‘Conversation Starters’ that provide focussed questions to help us get started. </p> <p>Once we have bravely thought about some of these things, the second step is to talk to our doctor and all those who may be asked to make decisions on our behalf. Family members may be shocked, cry, or even initially refuse to talk about it. Yet hopefully there can be an open and honest conversation about what really matters and how this influences our preferred health care outcomes and treatment decisions.</p> <p>The third step is to decide who will make decisions for us and fill in the form that legally appoints this person – the name of this form differs in every state/territory but all are available from Advance Care Planning Australia. </p> <p>We should also write down our preferences for health and personal care in either a legally binding advance care directive (which also has different names in each state) or a values-based advance care plan. These documents are used to inform care and help decision-makers know our preferences.</p> <p>We can discuss our preferences with doctors and ask them to sign our documents. Check if your doctor can upload advance care planning documents to My Health Record or upload them yourself. We should share copies with our chosen substitute decision-maker, family, local hospital and other health providers. This will enable documents to be accessed when they’re needed most so that everyone is aware of our choices. It is important to review these forms regularly, especially if our medical situation or care needs change. </p> <p>Xanthe Sansome, the National Program Director for Advance Care Planning Australia suggests, “We should talk regularly about our quality of life and health care preferences so everyone is on the same page if treatment decisions are needed. The last thing I would want in my final days is hearing two people I love disagree about what medical treatment decisions to make on my behalf. I would rather be calm, knowing I had made this very clear to them, lying comfortably on my favourite silk pillowcase with the scent of roses in the air and listening to them reflect together on my life and the person I had been to them. I would rather they feel at peace as they say, ‘Goodbye, we love you’.”</p> <p><strong>Free starter pack and support are available</strong></p> <p><strong>For free, personalised advice or to request a printed starter pack, call the National Advance Care Planning Support Service on 1300 208 582 from 9am - 5pm (AEST/AEDT) Monday to Friday.</strong></p> <p><strong>Visit <a href="https://www.advancecareplanning.org.au?utm_medium=paidprint&utm_source=over60&utm_campaign=acpw23" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Advance Care Planning Australia’s website</a> to access a free email starter pack and other information. </strong></p> <p><strong>You can also find face to face awareness raising events and online webinars available Australia-wide during <a href="https://www.advancecareplanning.org.au/nacpweek?utm_medium=paidprint&utm_source=over60&utm_campaign=acpw23" target="_blank" rel="noopener">National Advance Care Planning Week</a> from 20 – 26 March.</strong></p> <p><em>Advance Care Planning Australia is funded by the Australian Government and administered by Austin Health.</em></p> <p><em>This is a sponsored article produced in partnership with Advance Care Planning Australia.</em></p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

The most common deathbed regret that can change your perspective on life

<p>A healthcare professional has shared the most common life regret she hears from people who are on their deathbed.</p> <p>Camilla Rowland, CEO of Palliative Care Australia, said that "death is the last taboo" in this age of over-sharing online, and is trying to break down that stigma by helping people reevaluate how they go about their day-to-day lives.</p> <p>She told <a href="https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/surprisingly-common-deathbed-regret-that-could-change-how-you-live/news-story/209319c4137122812f0e91e52b38cb6c" target="_blank" rel="noopener">news.com.au</a>, “We’ve become so great at discussing things that used to be taboo, but we’ve lost the ability to talk about death with one another.”</p> <p>After a 30-year career in palliative care, Ms Rowland said there is one regret she hears continuously from people who are at the end of their life.</p> <p>“Without a doubt, the regret I’ve heard time and time again is that people wish they’d spent less time working, and more time with the people they love,” she says.</p> <p>“The other thing people might find surprising is that money doesn’t seem to have any effect on the way you look back at your life at the end."</p> <p>“I once looked after an incredibly wealthy man at the end of his life and he had been one of those really busy guys – working 18 hours a day, achieving great success."</p> <p>“I remember him saying to me: ‘You know what? I would give up all my boats, my houses, everything that I have just to have spent more time with my kids when they were young.’ I heard that time and time again from people."</p> <p>“No matter which walk of life they were from, it was the quality of their relationships that mattered above all else.”</p> <p>While Ms Rowland knows that talking about death and the end of our lives is a morbid, difficult topic, she says it's important to have those discussions with the people closest to us.</p> <p>Having these conversations can help us share our end-of-life wishes with our family and friends, but also help us learn how to truly appreciate life from the people who came before us.</p> <p>“When I think of those common deathbed regrets that pop up repeatedly, it’s a great reminder for us all to live more in the moment, with the people who matter most.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Type of person who struggles with the idea of terminal illness

<p dir="ltr">People who tend to look after themselves by working out and eating healthy foods are more likely to struggle with the idea of death and the process of dying. </p> <p dir="ltr">Palliative care nurse Maryan Bova has helped people with dying for 25 years and said some people accept their terminal diagnosis while others struggle to come to terms with it. </p> <p dir="ltr">She revealed that those who lived a healthy lifestyle were those who felt more ripped off when they are given the awful diagnosis. </p> <p dir="ltr">“They're the ones that have looked after themselves their whole life, for example the yoga teacher who runs retreats and has probably never eaten anything that wasn't organic and green in their life,” she told Mamamia. </p> <p dir="ltr">“And yet they've been smacked down with a horrible diagnosis. It can feel like a slap in the face.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Maryan confessed that the job can be emotionally draining as some experiences stick with her, especially when she was in the same position. </p> <p dir="ltr">Her mother Helen was diagnosed with brain cancer and Maryan did what she did best - but this time it was someone close to her. </p> <p dir="ltr">"I knew what it would all end up looking like, but I also knew how to orchestrate the help that was needed for her to die at home in a space she was comfortable in,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It was a gift to have that time to talk openly, have important conversations and bond as a family. It was like mum became childlike again, a full-circle moment.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Maryan stressed that it was important to look at how people with a terminal diagnosis are treated in the last moments of their life. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Images: Facebook/Shutterstock</em></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Bambi-obsessed mother given the ultimate surprise

<p>A woman has shared the heart-warming moment she gave her ill mother the ultimate surprise while she was in palliative care. </p><p>In a post to the popular Facebook group <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/515507852491119?multi_permalinks=940210780020822&amp;hoisted_section_header_type=recently_seen" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Kindness Pandemic</a>, Lisa McDonald said she and her sister have been caring for their sick mother, who is a life-long fan of deer and the Disney film <em>Bambi</em>. </p><p>Lisa and her sister came up with the idea for a real-life Bambi to visit her in her palliative care homes and got in touch with a couple how owned a mobile petting farm. </p><p>The couple, Chris and Simone, travelled two and a half hours to Melbourne in order to surprise Lisa's mother with the adorable fawn, coincidentally called Bambi. </p><p>Lisa shared the tear-jerking video of her mother meeting Bambi, and becoming instantly besotted with the animal. </p><p></p><p>"She has Bambi statues everywhere, she is wearing a Bambi T-shirt in her bed and will be cremated in one too," Lisa wrote. </p><p>"My sister and I and the rest of the family that are supporting us are also wearing Bambi T-shirts... we are calling them our nursing uniforms."</p><p>Lisa contacted Simone and Chris after finding their business and arranged for them to bring Bambi to her mother's bedside the following day. </p><p>"However unfortunately mum deteriorated quickly today and Simone and Chris didn't hesitate... they drove two and a half hours to bring Bambi to meet mum," Lisa said.</p><p>"Out of pure love and kindness. I cannot thank them enough for what they have done for my mum and my family."</p><p>Lisa's post to the Facebook has been flooded with well-wishes after receiving over 17,000 likes. </p><p>"Brought me to tears. What a special and touching moment. Absolutely beautiful people to drive all that way for your mum to experience something so magical before she passes," one woman wrote.  </p><p>"This is so beautiful. She would have absolutely loved this so much. You can see it in her eyes how much joy it brought to her. Bless them, and bless you and your beautiful Mum," another said.</p><p>"I have tears streaming down my face. What a beautiful thing for you to arrange and have happen for your mum!!! She has certainly raised two beautiful daughters with such dedication," a third person said. </p><p><em>Image credits: Facebook - The Kindness Pandemic</em></p>

Family & Pets

Placeholder Content Image

One last look for dying woman

<p><em>Image: Ambulance NSW </em></p> <p>Two paramedics in NSW have given a very special treat to one palliative care patient, taking her to The Three sisters in the Blue Mountains for one last look.</p> <p>Penrith woman Evelyn Collins suffered from dementia and was diagnosed with Leukaemia in October, and as part of her treatment is taken to Katoomba’s Blue Mountains Hospital for blood transfusions.</p> <p>While under the care of paramedics Judy Andrews and Mike Horan, the 85-year-old was treated to a heart-warming surprise.</p> <p>“We were asked to take her to Blue Mountains as it was quieter and even though she had dementia as soon as we walked outside she said the fresh air was beautiful,” Ms Andrews told the<span> </span><em>Western Weekender</em>.</p> <p>“As she was not at risk and just receiving treatment and we had a quiet moment, we decided to take her to the lookout to show her the view on the way.”</p> <p>She added that she never could’ve predicted the impact the moment had on Ms Collins and her family.</p> <p>“We wheeled her down and as she was looking around she had this moment of clarity and said she remembered coming there a long time ago with her husband,” Ms Andrews said of the experience.</p> <p>“She had this beautiful glow and look of happiness on her face so I took a photo to send to her daughter Kim, who said the family was overwhelmed that we would take the time to do that.”</p> <p>Ms Collins said it was “lovely” that the paramedics thought to take her there.</p> <p>“It made me feel special. It makes all the difference when you are treated with patience and kindness,” she said.</p> <p>After two years on the pandemic frontline, Ms Andrews said paramedics pride themselves on providing high levels of care to each patient.</p> <p>After sharing the photo on Facebook, NSW Ambulance were flooded with comments on the “beautiful gesture”.</p> <p>“Thank you for being so generous … the world is a better place having you both in it,” one woman commented.</p> <p>While another wrote: “It’s these special moments that make the job mean something. In all the usual nightmares that we all face, it’s these times that have the biggest effect on us. These times and these memories where you become a part of someone’s journey – whether it’s the beginning or the end, it’s these moments that stick with us forever.”</p> <p>“So much respect for our first responders. This is the most beautiful act of kindness,” added another.</p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

“Extremely heartless”: Daughter’s desperate effort to see dying dad

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Anna Coffey, who hopes to see her father in palliative care in Victoria, is required to prove he is sick enough to allow her to be exempt to travel.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After receiving a call last week saying her father had suffered a serious stroke, the fully-vaccinated Melbournian was on the first plane to Sydney that cost her upwards of $10,000.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Now quarantining in a Sydney hotel during the state’s current lockdown, she must provide documents proving her father is “at end of life” to New South Wales Health in order to be allowed to see him.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">If she is granted an exemption, she has been told by Victorian and NSW Health authorities that she can only travel to Melbourne via a chartered flight which she says will cost her between $8000 and $10,000.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“In the past week [my father’s] heart has stopped and they have no idea why, he’s had a stroke … he’s obviously high risk for another incident happening,” Ms Coffey told </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">The Age</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Being in the palliative care unit, they don’t resuscitate or they don’t do anything. It could be in an hour, it could be tomorrow, it could be next week, I just can’t stay.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ms Coffey fears her father’s condition could change at any moment.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“He’s doing OK but it’s very much a day-by-day type situation,” she told </span><span style="font-weight: 400;">Today</span><span style="font-weight: 400;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I really just have to get there as fast as I possibly can.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“There’s a lot to do, so many documents to collect, so much red tape, it’s a full-time job right now.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ms Coffey says she wants authorities to allow her to drive to Melbourne, but they have ruled this out as the trip would take between nine and 10 hours.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Prime Minister Scott Morrison is said to have written to Ms Coffey saying he is deeply sorry and that he hopes a solution can be found so she can see her father.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">But, Ms Coffey anticipates she may not get to Melbourne until the weekend, where she will then need to finish 14 days of quarantine and only see her father under supervision and while wearing personal protective equipment.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“The fact that it’s taking days and days and days and there’s no end in sight is fairly shocking to me, especially when I feel like I’ve already provided enough information to be able to be transferred,” she said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ms Coffey also said she wants authorities to review the process for overseas arrivals entering the country for compassionate reasons.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“[I want] some sort of other alternative to forcing people to have to pay $8000 to $10,000 to be transferred, especially when they’re vaccinated. [It] just seems extremely heartless.”</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Today</span></em></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Angel grants Anna Coffey a dying wish

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Anna Coffey, the Melbournian who travelled from New York to visit her dying father, has been granted her wish.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">On Tuesday night it was confirmed that Ms Coffey has been granted an exemption to leave Sydney - where she is currently in hotel quarantine - and travel to Melbourne.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">After consultation between the NSW and Victorian health departments, she was permitted to travel on compassionate grounds.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“In this circumstance, Coffey will be permitted to travel by car to Melbourne, providing all PPE and physical distancing requirements are able to be met,” a departmental statement said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Her final hurdle - paying thousands to charter a flight - has also been cleared, with Angel Flight offering to take her to Melbourne free of charge.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Earlier this week, Ms Coffey was told that to move her quarantine location from Sydney to Melbourne would require her to charter a flight between the cities at an estimated cost of at least $7500.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ms Coffey flew from New York to Sydney last week after her 80-year-old father suffered a stroke and was placed in palliative care in a Melbourne hospital.</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: 7NEWS</span></em></p>

News

Placeholder Content Image

Why this heartwarming Aussie photo has touched Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan

<p>It was the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/body/the-touching-moment-queensland-paramedics-grant-patient-dying-wish" target="_blank">incredibly moving photo</a> that not only went viral around the world, but caught the attention of Prince Harry and Duchess Meghan.</p> <p>In November last year, the Queensland Ambulance service posted a picture on its Facebook page of Hervey Bay paramedic Graeme Cooper standing alongside the stretcher bed of a terminally ill woman, known only as Joyce, at a beach looking out to sea. It was taken by patient transport officer Danielle Kellam. Sadly, Joyce passed away two days later.</p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 330.955px; display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7821518/ambulance-teddy-bear.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/309c8ea67fff432b8586d7ee9040ce1c" /></p> <p>The palliative care patient had asked the paramedics if they could stop at the Hervey Bay beach, as they transported her from her home to hospital, and they granted her wish – with the moving photo touching hearts all over Australia and the world. </p> <p>Kensington Palace invited paramedics Cooper and Kellam to meet the Prince and Duchess when they toured Fraser Island yesterday, as the royals were also so touched by the image. </p> <p><iframe width="640" height="360" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" src="https://au.news.yahoo.com/tender-love-story-behind-emotional-030703297.html?format=embed" allowfullscreen="true" mozallowfullscreen="true" webkitallowfullscreen="true" allowtransparency="true" allow="autoplay; fullscreen; encrypted-media"></iframe></p> <p>The seeds for Joyce’s beach visit were sewn a week before the photograph was taken when the paramedics were en route with taking Joyce home from hospital to be with her family in the final days of her life, reports <em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/good-news/paramedics-who-touched-hearts-worldwide-to-join-harry-and-meghan/news-story/c2683d372a33defc08c6d3bdf6fbde73" target="_blank">news.com.au</a>.</em></p> <p>Joyce told the paramedics how much she loved the ocean, particularly the beaches of Hervey Bay, located on the Fraser Coast Region of Queensland, because of the romantic times she had spent there with her husband. They loved to stroll the beach together, having retired in Hervey Bay as they were so taken with the area.</p> <p>Kellam and Cooper were so moved by her wish that they gladly, and kindly, granted it. They spent 15 minutes at the beach before continuing on to the hospital.</p> <p><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fqldambulanceservice%2Fposts%2F1703854822979571%3A0&amp;width=500" width="500" height="733" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe></p> <p>“She loved it. She was really happy, so grateful too. Just one of those people you want to give and give to,” Kellam said in an interview with <em><a rel="noopener" href="https://au.news.yahoo.com/tender-love-story-behind-emotional-viral-image-083547014.html" target="_blank">7News</a>.</em>  </p> <p>"If you can do something special for them, even though their life is coming to an end, it can give them a fulfilment and that fulfilment is something that’s a blessing for us to be able to give,” Cooper added.</p> <p>“It was no mean feat just to stop and be able to just give her one last pleasure in life because at the end of the day this lady was going home to die.”</p> <p>Joyce had chosen a spot where the paramedics could place her by the water’s edge, and she was able to feel the saltwater and sand of the beach one last time. The heroic pair had the idea to fill up a bag with water and sand.</p> <p>Meeting the Duke and Duchess of Sussex yesterday, Kellam and Cooper presented the expectant pair with souvenir teddy bears, much to Duchess Meghan’s delight.</p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Aussie golfer’s touching message to supporters as he enters palliative care

<p>Australian golfer Jarrod Lyle has described himself as the “luckiest golfer going around” in a touching message from his hospital bed, after he made the <strong><u><a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/health/caring/world-in-shock-over-aussie-golfers-tragic-decision">heartbreaking decision to end treatment and begin palliative care</a></u></strong> in his long fight against leukaemia.</p> <p>In an interview recorded on Tuesday with friend and Golf Australia media manager Mark Hayes, Jarrod, 36, spoke openly about what lies ahead.</p> <p>“I feel like I’m the luckiest golfer going around, because so many people took an interest in me, and took an interest in my fight,” the former PGA Tour player said on the <strong><u><a href="http://www.golf.org.au/newsdisplay/podcast-episode-54-out-now/101253">Gold Australia podcast <em>Inside the Ropes</em></a></u></strong><em>. </em></p> <p>“To have so many friends around the world, whether they’re spectators, golfers, marshals, whatever, to have that kind of support (at) every tournament, is a great feeling.</p> <p>“It’s going to be hard to leave that behind, but they know that I love them, they know that all the fighting that I did was to get back out and play golf again.</p> <p>“To have the support from all those people was just a tremendous feeling.</p> <p>“It’s going to be hard, but at some point it’s going to happen and they’ll get on with their lives, and I just feel very, very lucky.”</p> <p>Jarrod, widely considered one of the most likeable figures in world sport, suffered a recurrence of acute myeloid leukaemia last year. It’s the third time he’s been diagnosed with the disease.</p> <p>On Tuesday, his wife Briony passed on the devastating news that Jarrod’s body “cannot take any more” and he would enter palliative care.</p> <p>She wrote: "Earlier today Jarrod made the decision to stop active treatment and begin palliative care.</p> <p>"He has given everything that he's got to give, and his poor body cannot take anymore.</p> <p>"We'll be taking him closer to home in the next couple of days so he can finally leave the hospital.</p> <p>"We have done our best to 'control' the narrative surrounding Jarrod's illness and treatment, and as more and more people become involved in this final process I'm not sure how much longer this development will remain private.</p> <p>"Jarrod knows he is loved, and the thousands of prayers and well wishes that have been sent his way have kept him going through some incredibly tough times.</p> <p>"But he has reached his limit, and the docs have finally agreed that they can no longer strive for a positive outcome.</p> <p>"My focus as of today is on our girls and doing whatever I can to get them through the challenges ahead.</p> <p>"Jarrod will be closer to them very soon, and will spend as much time as he can with them.</p> <p>"When it's appropriate, I will post details of a memorial service. In the meantime we ask that you respect our privacy at this difficult time."</p> <p><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FJarrodLyleGolf%2Fposts%2F1765179523531356&amp;width=500" width="500" height="734" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe></p> <p>The heartbreaking news sparked an outpouring of emotion for the Lyle family, particularly from fellow Aussie golfers Adam Scott, Jason Day and Marc Leishman.</p> <p> “He is one of the best blokes there is,” Scott said.</p> <p>“Given all the difficulties he's had since his late teens, he has lived the best life he could with the tough cards he has been dealt.</p> <p>“He played such good golf while battling illness; he has been through it all.</p> <p>“His positivity and general demeanour has been so good and so infectious on others; it's a good way to think of how I should live my life.</p> <p>“It shouldn't have to have something like this to remember that's what it's all about.”</p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Comedian Jean Kittson reveals the taboo family topic she tackles with humour

<p>The topic of dying isn’t often met with laughter, but for comedian Jean Kittson, comedy is often the best way to talk about taboo subjects.</p> <p>The comedian admitted, “As a dinner conversation, dying is not what anyone wants to talk about. They’re happy to talk about holidays, yes. Reality TV, oh yeah. You know, food allergies. Menopause, even. But not dying. La la la la la la la.”</p> <p>Jean added, “I hate to break it to you, but we’re all gonna die. We might as well talk about dying. Anyway, isn’t the conversation easier when we all have something in common?”</p> <p>In support of National Palliative Care Week, Jean recently recorded an intimate video, sharing her honest and candid thoughts on the importance of having a conversation about death and palliative care with loved ones.</p> <p>“I think humour can be used as a great tool to talk about taboo subjects. I don’t mean you use it to make light of death and dying, but I think comedy and humour is important in opening the conversation,” says Jean.</p> <p>82% of Australians feel that talking about their own death and dying is important, but when it comes down to it, most people don’t actually have the conversation.</p> <p>The Australian Government Department of Health aims to raise awareness and understanding about palliative care in the Australian community.</p> <p>In 2016, there were 3.7 million Australians aged 65, and that number is expected to grow.</p> <p>By 2056, it is projected there will be 8.7 million older Australians, and by 2096, 12.8 million people will be aged 65 years and over.</p> <p>With Australia’s ageing population, it’s essential that people talk to their friends and loved ones about their end-of-life care wishes.</p> <p>“As you get older, you realise that conversations about death and dying are more important. It’s a hard conversation to have because it’s a downer, but it needn’t be. You can have fun and it’s a good way to open up these conversations,” Jean said.</p> <p>“Talking about death and dying with your loved ones means you won't have any regrets and that awful guilt that can come when you think you could have done more or you could have done something differently. So, it's just out there in the open and everyone's honest and it's such a relief.”</p> <p>And for Jean, there are several items on her checklist when it comes to planning for her end-of-life care.</p> <p>“I’d love a concierge by my bed just getting my every wish, doing whatever I want, making sure I’m happy,” Jean shared.</p> <p>“I want music from the ‘60s and ‘70s, probably a bit of classical. I don’t want any rainforest or meditation music. No music that I get while I’m having a facial or being waxed,” she continued.</p> <p>“I want a huge bed with lots of pillows so when I’m dying, I want everyone to lie down with me.”</p> <p><em>For more information on palliative and end-of-life care and how to begin having the conversation visit: health.gov.au/palliativecare</em></p>

News

Placeholder Content Image

The one ingredient off the table at celebrity chef Kylie Kwong’s house

<p>For celebrity chef Kylie Kwong, who grew up in a large Australian Chinese family with her two grandmothers living with them, cooking was always front and centre.</p> <p>“Mum cooked dinner for the family seven nights a week. Six nights of the week, we’d have Cantonese food. On the seventh night, we'd all rejoice – Mum would announce to us, ‘I'm cooking roast chicken tonight.’ We were so excited, because as much as we loved our Chinese-style flavours, we really welcomed Western-style food. Mum became famous for her Chinese-style roast chicken!”</p> <p>But the one ingredient off the table at the Kwong household was a conversation about dying.</p> <p>“Talking about end-of-life care was definitely a no-no. It was completely off the table”.</p> <p>Recently, in support of National Palliative Care Week, Kylie recorded an intimate video, sharing her honest and candid thoughts on the importance of having a conversation about death and palliative care with loved ones.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><iframe width="500" height="281" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wrl6zcrwczI?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <p>“Recently, I spoke to my mother, who is 76, about her wishes for her end of life.”</p> <p>Kylie added, “I kept putting off this conversation, because whenever I think of the thought of mum not being around, it breaks my heart. But I did want to have the conversation with her because it’s important.”</p> <p>82% of Australians feel that talking about their own death and dying is important, but when it comes down to it, most people don’t actually have the conversation.</p> <p>The Australian Government Department of Health aims to raise awareness and understanding about palliative care in the Australian community.</p> <p>In 2016, there were 3.7 million Australians aged 65, and that number is expected to grow.</p> <p>By 2056, it is projected there will be 8.7 million older Australians, and by 2096, 12.8 million people will be aged 65 years and over.</p> <p>With the ageing population, it’s essential that people talk to their friends and loved ones about their end-of-life care wishes.</p> <p>For Kylie, a memory of her father’s funeral helped her start a conversation about end-of-life planning with her mother.</p> <p><img width="500" height="700" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7819253/doh-pc0318-0862_crop_500x700.jpg" alt="Doh -pc 0318-0862_CROP"/></p> <p>“One of the most amazing memories was at Dad's funeral. My brother's three children were there, and the smallest one was just starting to speak. All three children released balloons into the sky as though waving goodbye to Yeh-yeh, which is what they used to call him. The littlest one pointed up to balloons and said ‘Yeh-yeh’ at ‘Kevin’s'. We were like, ‘Who's Kevin?’” she recalls.</p> <p>“He couldn't say heaven, so he said it was Kevin’s. So, from that moment on, we have always said, ‘Hi Dad, how are you going up at Kevin's?’ It's this really beautiful, comforting way of speaking about my father. Yeh-yeh is at Kevin’s.”</p> <p>“So, when Mum and I had a conversation, the first thing I said was, ‘Mum, when we speak about this subject, can we please refrain from using the D-I-E word, because I can't bear to say that word in the same sentence as you.</p> <p>“'Instead, can we please refer to this time or this moment in your life as when you go to Kevin's?’ And that made both of us laugh, it was very, very touching. And of course, we both thought of my dear little nephew, and then thought of Dad up there at Kevin's,” Kylie continued.</p> <p>“It was the most wonderful conversation, it was uplifting, it was empowering. I felt clear, I felt settled in my heart. I felt at peace about things, because I now know my Mother's wishes.”</p> <p>And there are a number of things that top Kylie Kwong’s list when it comes to how she’d like to think about her end-of-life care.</p> <p>“I want to be in a spiritual and emotional place where I am at ease and peace,” Kylie shared.</p> <p>“I want to be surrounded by my loved ones, because we’ve always been a tight-knit family.”</p> <p>And lastly, “I want my Nell to be by my side, and I want to know that she is going to be taken care of for the rest of her life. I mean who's going to cook Nell dinner?”</p> <p><em>For more information on palliative and end-of-life care and how to begin having the conversation visit: health.gov.au/palliativecare</em></p>

News

Placeholder Content Image

5 common myths about palliative care debunked

<p><em><strong>Anna Collins is a Research Fellow in the Department of Medicine at the University of Melbourne.</strong></em></p> <p>We may have heard it said, and in that curiously familiar tone, something along the lines of: “They’re having palliative care now.” And it’s almost as if the meaning of those words is so universally understood they need no further explanation. Most people simply assume they mean the person is now dying.</p> <p>Yet, when a health professional suggests “palliative care” might be a useful addition to a patient’s care, they most likely mean something different.</p> <p>So what is it the patient actually takes from the suggestion? We asked <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0269216317696420" target="_blank">this question</a></strong></span> of people being treated for cancer in hospital, as well as their families. We wanted to explore people’s initial perceptions of palliative care when this term, or suggestion, was first raised with them in a clinical setting.</p> <p>We found people held narrow, often inaccurate and outdated understandings of palliative care. Below are some of the common beliefs about palliative care, and what the science actually says.</p> <p><strong>Myth 1 – It’s just nursing care</strong></p> <p>From its <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanonc/article/PIIS1470-2045(07)70138-9/fulltext" target="_blank">inception, palliative care</a></strong></span> has definitely always involved nurses. But by today’s standard there is much more to it than, for example, a nurse assisting a person with showering.</p> <p>Palliative care is delivered by a <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://palliativecare.org.au/understanding-palliative-care-parent-menu/understanding-palliative-care/" target="_blank">multidisciplinary team of experts</a></strong></span>, such as social workers, counsellors, nurses and volunteers, who are trained to respond to the needs of people with serious illness.</p> <p>For most patients, this will include consultation with a specialist palliative care doctor who has undergone additional medical training to become an expert in managing and treating the concerns that commonly arise from serious illness.</p> <p><strong>Myth 2 – It’s just about pain relief</strong></p> <p>Palliative care is often called on to provide expert advice on optimal pain relief. But, just as frequently, palliative care is there to help manage <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanres/article/PIIS2213-2600%2814%2970226-7/abstract" target="_blank">symptoms other than pain</a></strong></span> that result from a serious illness or its treatment.</p> <p>For example, a palliative care specialist has particular experience with medications and strategies that may help with problems such as nausea, breathlessness or constipation – which, left unattended, may reduce a person’s quality of life.</p> <p><strong>Myth 3 – It’s a place to wait for death</strong></p> <p>Palliative care does provide care for those at the end of life who may prefer to receive care or have needs best attended to in hospital or at a hospice. However, it is not just about end-of-life care.</p> <p>Palliative care is available at any stage of serious illness. Palliative care can be helpful and is <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://ascopubs.org/doi/full/10.1200/JCO.2016.70.1474" target="_blank">recommended early in an illness</a></strong></span> to work alongside other medical teams to diagnose and treat the cause of symptoms, manage medications, help with communication or decision-making about treatment options, or provide family support.</p> <p><strong>Myth 4 – Palliative care services are offered only in the hospital</strong></p> <p>Palliative care does provide support to people in the hospital, but just as frequently palliative care services in the community provide care to people in their own homes.</p> <p>Additionally, just as a person with heart disease may go to a clinic at the hospital to see a cardiologist, people with serious illness can attend an appointment to see a palliative care specialist.</p> <p><strong>Myth 5 – It means depending on others for care</strong></p> <p>The principal goal of palliative care is actually the opposite of dependency. It aims to support a person to maintain their independence and quality of life while living with serious illness.</p> <p>This may mean providing equipment or strategies that may be needed to ensure a person can continue to live their life to the fullest.</p> <p><strong>What does the science say?</strong></p> <p>There are now <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26231807" target="_blank">over ten high-quality, randomised clinical (human) trials</a></strong></span>, conducted internationally, that demonstrate the benefits of accessing palliative care if faced with serious illness.</p> <p>These studies, mostly conducted with people recently diagnosed with a serious cancer, compare the outcomes of people randomly allocated to receive either just best-practice cancer care or best-practice cancer care with palliative care.</p> <p>Collectively, this science shows that people with a serious cancer who access palliative care soon after their diagnosis, alongside their recommended cancer treatments, have <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1000678" target="_blank">better outcomes</a></strong></span>.</p> <p>They report feeling better, with <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1000678" target="_blank">fewer symptoms</a></strong></span> associated with their cancer and its treatment, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3657724/" target="_blank">improved mood</a></strong></span> and better <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28029308" target="_blank">quality of life</a></strong></span>. There is also growing evidence to show the people receiving palliative care <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://ascopubs.org/doi/full/10.1200/JCO.2014.58.6362" target="_blank">live longer</a></strong></span>.</p> <p>So, next time we hear a friend is receiving palliative care, we should also remember the science and think of the possibilities, accomplishments and high-quality care they may receive.</p> <p><em>Written by Anna Collins. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Conversation</span></strong></a>. </em><img width="1" height="1" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/82248/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-advanced" alt="The Conversation"/></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Palliative care expert’s advice on caring for a dying loved one at home

<p><em><strong>Liz Forbat is a research psychologist, family therapist and Professor of Palliative Care at the Australian Catholic University.</strong></em></p> <p>When someone dies at home, everyone in the family is affected. Looking after a relative who is at the end of their life can be enormously rewarding, but carers have many unmet information and support needs. This can take a toll on their physical and emotional health.</p> <p>Here are some tips if you are looking after someone nearing the end of their life.</p> <p><strong>1. Look after yourself</strong></p> <p>Carers looking after someone with a life-threatening illness have <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18624779" target="_blank">higher levels of emotional distress</a></strong></span>, including depression and anxiety, than the general population. It’s important you look after yourself.</p> <p>Self-care might mean finding time to take a break from caring by signing up for yoga classes where calming <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25632044" target="_blank">breathing techniques</a></strong></span> are practised, or seeking counselling or support groups.</p> <p>Caring can be very rewarding for both the carer and the patient. Research shows caring can <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1471301209103269" target="_blank">make people feel closer</a></strong></span> to those they’re caring for. Carers often feel proud that they have been able to look after someone in their last years, months or days of life.</p> <p>It can be a positive experience to think about the rewards of caring, like spending more time together or knowing you’re making a difference to a loved one at a difficult time.</p> <p><strong>2. Get informed</strong></p> <p>Caring for a relative at the end of life is likely a new experience. Many carers are learning on the job and often don’t feel practically or emotionally prepared for the task. Research <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24292156" target="_blank">consistently shows</a></strong></span> carers want to know how to safely carry out practical caring tasks, like moving the person in and out of bed, preparing suitable meals, and giving medication.</p> <p>Emotional tasks might include listening to the patient’s worries and helping the patient write down their preferences for care and treatments in an advance care plan. When patients have an advance care plan, carers <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2844949/" target="_blank">report less stress</a></strong></span> because key decisions have already been made and documented.</p> <p>Palliative care services often have <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://palcarefoundation.org.au/whats-new/carer-support-groups/" target="_blank">support groups</a></strong></span> or <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.southernhighlandnews.com.au/story/4665746/palliative-care-information-session/" target="_blank">information sessions</a></strong></span>, which help carers feel more prepared and better informed. Such groups help meet carers’ information needs. They also <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S088539240900075X" target="_blank">increase self-efficacy</a></strong></span> (the belief of being able to personally succeed in caring tasks).</p> <p>Recently, distance learning has been offered to carers and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/28604233" target="_blank">evidence shows</a></strong></span> this helps them feel more prepared to carry out their duties.</p> <p><strong>3. Ask for help</strong></p> <p>Many current approaches to supporting people nearing the end of life involve working with whole communities. Known as <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.compassionatecommunities.net.au/" target="_blank">compassionate communities</a></strong></span>, these approaches are based on the concept it is not just up to an individual carer, or the health service, to look after people approaching the end of life. Support can be everyone’s responsibility, from pharmacists, librarians and teachers to employers and colleagues.</p> <p>Apps, such as <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.mentalhealthcarersaustralia.org.au/2015/01/28/care-for-me-app/" target="_blank">Care For Me</a></strong></span>, and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.carecalendar.org/" target="_blank">websites</a></strong></span> can help co-ordinate help from friends, family and the community. The website <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.gathermycrew.org/" target="_blank">Gather My Crew</a></strong></span> offers a way for carers to list tasks they need help with, to take some of the pressure off themselves.</p> <p><strong>4. Talk about it</strong></p> <p>When someone is critically ill or dying, family members often decide <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2762643/" target="_blank">not to share their worries</a></strong></span> with each other. Psychologists call this protective buffering. People do it to try to protect their family and friends from worrying more.</p> <p>Although it is well-intended, protective buffering can make people feel less close. It’s OK to share worries with each other. Being able to talk about feelings means being able to deal together with the difficult things like pain or fear.</p> <p>Using the “d” words (death and dying) can be difficult, and is an outright taboo in many cultures. Find language that suits you: be direct (death), or use metaphors (pass away) or less direct phrases (getting sicker) so that you can talk about worries together.</p> <p><strong>5. It’s OK to think about the future</strong></p> <p>It’s hard to balance feeling positive and feeling sad about the person approaching the end of their life. Many family members and carers <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/12/grief-and-burden-of-guilt.html" target="_blank">say they feel guilty</a></strong></span> for thinking about the future or making plans for after the person has died.</p> <p>But <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.2190/OM.61.4.b" target="_blank">research in bereavement</a></strong></span> has shown it’s normal and healthy to move between focusing on the here and now, and on the life after the caring role ends. This might be reassuring if you’re the kind of person who doesn’t always want to face emotions head on – distracting yourself by thinking about the future is actually a natural and healthy thing to do.</p> <p><em>Written by Liz Forbat. Republished with permission of <a href="http://theconversation.com/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Conversation</span></strong></a>.<img width="1" height="1" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/83499/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-advanced" alt="The Conversation"/> </em></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Conversations I have with my palliative care patients

<p><em><strong>Dr Matthew Grant is a Palliative Medicine Physician and Research Fellow at Monash University.</strong></em></p> <p>When I introduce myself to a patient as a palliative care doctor, the question that often follows is: “Am I dying?”</p> <p>I guess in one sense we’re all dying. In this case, though, the question implies an immediacy. Yet working in palliative care involves surprisingly little immediate dying.</p> <p>Yes we work with people who have incurable illnesses, but their prognoses vary between weeks, months and even years. And we see other patients potentially being cured but who experience significant side effects from treatment.</p> <p>Our team works in clinics, in the hospital, out in the community, at the chemotherapy centre, and in our palliative care or hospice units.</p> <p>Here is a snapshot of the conversations I have in a working day, and they involve discussions of life far more than they do death.</p> <p><strong>Keith</strong></p> <p>Keith visits the clinic every two months. “Hey Doc, I ain’t carked it yet. Bloody cancer is lazy.”</p> <p>“The cancer must be waiting for the Tigers to win the premiership,” I reply.</p> <p>Keith is in his late 70s and describes himself as having “a good and slightly mischievous life”. He has colon cancer, which has spread to his liver and lungs.</p> <p>Initially, he had chemotherapy but experienced significant side effects requiring two hospitalisations. He then decided the most important thing was enjoying time with friends, family and his two dogs, so he opted to cease chemotherapy.</p> <p>Our palliative care team saw him on his second visit to hospital to address his pain. Keith visits the clinic every two months to manage his appetite and fatigue, and discuss progress and his choices for the future.</p> <p>“While I feel good, let me be. When I’m not, let me go,” he’s said to me.</p> <p>As a doctor, knowing what people want is of vital importance. And these discussions are valuable for us to gather the kind of information we need to know exactly what treatments to provide for that person.</p> <p>Family members <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.bmj.com/content/340/bmj.c1345" target="_blank">report less distress</a></strong></span> when they know what kinds of treatments their loved one wants – as they aren’t shouldered with the burden of making difficult decisions at emotional times.</p> <p>Advance care plans, which set out the patient’s preferences, are invaluable in this instance for both family members and doctors. Their value is in allowing that person the agency of control, especially when their life is not being dictated on their own terms.</p> <p>Keith will die, maybe in two months, maybe in ten. The conversation today is not about that though. Right now, Keith struggles with fatigue and poor appetite, which we discuss in detail. “I feel OK at the moment and can deal with feeling a bit crappy at times, especially with having all the family around.”</p> <p>Keith discusses his love for his children and Richmond’s forward line. We talk about some ideas for his appetite and organise prescriptions for an upcoming holiday with his wife.</p> <p><strong>Christos</strong></p> <p>Christos breathes deeply on his way to the chair. Greetings wait until he has had time to catch his breath.</p> <p>“How are you, Chris?” I ask.</p> <p>“Well, I ain’t done much since I saw you last month. But no visits to hospital, so not all bad. Still feel crap though.”</p> <p>Chris has been a heavy smoker since the age of 14. He is now 58 and struggles to walk 20 metres or dress himself. He lives alone in a nearby council flat, which he rarely leaves. Life is a constant struggle.</p> <p>He has end-stage lung disease from smoking and is a frequent visitor to the emergency department during infections. He visits our clinic monthly to manage his breathing and anxiety and to organise home nursing support, all of which <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://erj.ersjournals.com/content/32/3/796" target="_blank">can improve his quality of life</a></strong></span>.</p> <p>Chris is not dying. We expect he will have further lung infections in the near future, which he may survive, or he may die from.</p> <p>“My sister keeps giving me grief about smoking. I have told her my lungs are already stuffed, so what’s it going to matter? Do you reckon I should quit?” Chris asks.</p> <p>“It depends on what you want,” I answer. “Quitting might slow down the process of your lungs deteriorating, but it probably isn’t going to make your breathing much better.”</p> <p>“So I will live longer?”</p> <p>“Yeah, it might make you live longer, but you will be living like you are now.”</p> <p>“Bugger that!” Chris exclaims. “I can barely look after myself now. Why would I want to extend that?”</p> <p>“Do you enjoy smoking?” I ask. Smoking is Chris’s choice, and it may give him pleasure in the short time he may have left.</p> <p>“Well, yeah, I do. I know it’s going to kill me, but at least it’s my choice to do it.”</p> <p><strong>Sharon</strong></p> <p>Sharon is in her late 40s and has spent much of the last few months in and out of hospital. For most of the last decade she has been “fighting” metastatic breast cancer, which continues to progress despite trying every available treatment.</p> <p>As a consequence of chemotherapy she suffers from severe heart failure, causing her to be profoundly fatigued.</p> <p>“I am feeling so much better today; definitely will be going home tomorrow,” she states as I enter the hospital room. “If I keep getting stronger we can hopefully look at another chemo or a trial in a few weeks.”</p> <p>“Great to hear you are feeling better, Sharon. How are the family?” I ask.</p> <p>I have met Sharon’s husband and two teenage children a number of times. They are struggling to keep their lives together while having a wife and mum who is deteriorating. They know she is dying, but feel unable to talk to her about it.</p> <p>I have talked to Sharon’s oncologist, who has discussed with her there are not any more treatment options for her cancer. Right now, Sharon struggles to get out of bed. Further chemotherapy is likely to make her very unwell or even cause her death.</p> <p>Balancing these hopes with realities is immensely difficult. It would be cruel to destroy hope, but it would be equally cruel to pretend everything would be just fine.</p> <p>“What are your thoughts if there aren’t any more chemo options?” I ask.</p> <p>“I’m going to keep fighting. That is who I am. I’m going to keep getting stronger and beat this thing for my kids,” she replies.</p> <p>“Good on you, Sharon, let’s focus on that. Some people might want to also discuss their plans if things don’t go so well. Is that something you might want to chat about?”</p> <p>“No thanks, not for today. Today is a good day.”</p> <p><strong>Reflections</strong></p> <p>These are interactions dealing with the most difficult of topics, our own mortality. The most important aspect of these conversations is understanding what that person wants, now and in the future. And, to be honest, I wouldn’t know what I would want were I in their shoes.</p> <p>I can’t presume to know for them, nor should we as health professionals try. I don’t know what it is to struggle constantly for each breath, or to want another hour with my children.</p> <p>We may be able to answer conclusively that further chemotherapy or cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamainternalmedicine/article-abstract/2301381" target="_blank">will not help Sharon</a></strong></span>. But in her situation she might cling to any chance that would mean spending more time with her family. “Fighting” may be a <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://search.proquest.com/openview/58173787e55bb1afd558ac63e7ec0ab7/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&amp;cbl=38461" target="_blank">coping mechanism</a></strong></span> for many, especially when they may see no way out.</p> <p>Not everyone will feel comfortable talking about their future treatment plans like Keith. It’s important I allow Sharon to decide whether or not she wants to talk about a future where she dies, just as I shouldn’t necessarily dissuade Christos from smoking if it gives him pleasure.</p> <p>Engaging in these conversations is the most important part of my job. Some people do not want to discuss what might be impending, while others may make decisions we might consider foolhardy. That is their choice.</p> <p><em>Written by Matthew Grant. Republished with permission of <a href="http://theconversation.com/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Conversation</span></strong></a>. </em><img width="1" height="1" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/82247/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-advanced" alt="The Conversation"/></p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

What do people say before they die?

<p>Ever wondered what goes through the heads of terminally ill people on the brink of death? A heartbreaking new report by the BBC has revealed the last words and wishes of people before they die, and what they have to say will bring a tear to your eye.</p> <p>In the emotional video, palliative care nurses from Royal Stoke University Hospital in Stoke-on-Trent in the UK open up about the requests and regrets their patients shared with them in their final days.</p> <p><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fbbcnews%2Fvideos%2F1937294303189387%2F&amp;show_text=0&amp;width=476" width="476" height="476" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p> <p>Their stories, both heart-wrenching and uplifting, support previous research from the University of North Carolina, which found that the terminally ill and inmates on death row were more positive than you might think.</p> <p>“When we imagine our emotions as we approach death, we think mostly of sadness and terror,” explains lead author Kurt Gray. “But it turns out, dying is less sad and terrifying – and happier – than you think.</p> <p>“In our imagination, dying is lonely and meaningless, but the final blog posts of terminally ill patients and the last words of death row inmates are filled with love, social connection and meaning.”</p> <p>Really makes you think about what’s truly important in life.</p>

Caring

Placeholder Content Image

Why palliative care is so important

<p><em><strong>Dr Cathy Stephenson is a GP and forensic medical examiner.</strong></em></p> <p>I walked past two friends of my daughters, fundraising for the Mary Potter Hospice in Wellington.</p> <p>As well as feeling proud that these young women were choosing to fill their free time with such worthy pursuits, the sight of the "hospice" logo brought back some very vivid memories for me.</p> <p>Some years ago now, my gentle loving mother-in-law was told she had motor neurone disease. This has to be one of the cruellest diseases in the world.</p> <p>Gradual loss of all motor ability, including movement, speech and eventually swallowing and breathing, yet retention of mental and cognitive faculties – I suspect it is a deeply frightening journey to be going through, and I fervently hope scientists around the world are making progress towards an eventual cure.</p> <p>Until then, I had no idea that patients with illnesses like this could even access the hospice service, let alone be offered such a wide range of support – I had always assumed that the hospice only catered for people with cancer, at the very end of their life.</p> <p>Over the years that followed, as my mother-in-law's health declined, the local hospice played a hugely important role in her care. They offered a regular place of respite – very aptly named, as it does indeed provide relief for not only the patient but their caregivers too.</p> <p>During these respite stays, the skilled hospice team could reassess her needs, adjust medications, and offer the kind of holistic care that is difficult for families to provide at home. Arts and craft sessions, massages for tired limbs and achy muscles, and sympathetic counselling when required are just some of the benefits we saw during her visits there.</p> <p>The fact that families, and especially grandchildren, were welcome there made it a place surprisingly full of life and vitality, and often laughter amidst the grief.</p> <p>Once at home, the team remained involved – providing whatever was needed in the family setting, and enabling her to choose where she wanted to spend the final weeks and days of her life. Their support, kindness, energy and compassion meant that she could be home, surrounded by family, at the very end – as she had wished.</p> <p>Around New Zealand, there are dozens of hospices of varying sizes. Anyone with a life-limiting illness (including conditions such as heart failure, multiple sclerosis and chronic lung disease, as well as cancer) can access their local service, with a referral from a GP, hospital specialist or a district nurse.</p> <p>The hospice team has a unique approach, known as "palliative care" – the focus is on the whole person, in a spiritual, emotional and social sense, as well as dealing with the physical issues. Their aim is to help people make the most of their lives – to live every moment in whatever way is important to them. Contrary to popular belief, although most hospices have some inpatient facilities, the majority of care provided by a hospice team actually happens at home.</p> <p>As loved ones, whanau and caregivers are such an integral part of the journey, the hospice care extends to them as well – both before and after death. I remember feeling quite overwhelmed by the genuine empathy and kindness that was extended to us all during this time.</p> <p>As with all health services in this era of increasing demand, funding is an issue for hospices – the majority of their money comes from government, but the shortfall (many millions per annum I believe) comes from fundraising.</p> <p>From our experience, I know that the difficult journey we had to make would have been so much harder without the care and support of our local hospice team, and I am forever grateful to them for their kindness and dedication.</p> <p><em>Written by Dr Cathy Stephenson. First appeared on <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span>.</strong></a></em></p>

Caring

Our Partners