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Readers response: What advice would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship?

<p>When entering the dating world, there are always nerves, expectations and excitement at any age.</p> <p>But when it comes to dating and starting new relationships in your senior years, priorities can be skewed, and meeting someone can be nerve-wracking. </p> <p>We asked our readers what advice they would you give to seniors looking to start a new relationship, and the response was overwhelming. Here's what they said. </p> <p><strong>Judy Chappell</strong> - Don’t! Nothing better than independence &amp; freedom late in life after 63 years married. I have my kids, grandkids, great grandies &amp; great friends that’s enough for me. Don’t need another male around.</p> <p><strong>Jan Heggie</strong> - If it feels right, do it. If it doesn’t feel right after a while, leave. Life is too short to not enjoy it.</p> <p><strong>Karen Simpson Nikakis</strong> - Put legals in place to protect your assets, do not cohabit or marry, and split all bills. </p> <p><strong>Lois Hone </strong>- Be true to yourself. Choose someone who completes you, the one person you feel you can’t live without. The one person, who makes you smile, laugh and is still there when you are sad and hurt and wants to support you. Oh and if they like to cook and clean as well, go for it!</p> <p><strong>Julie Fause</strong>r - Live each in your own home.</p> <p><strong>Marilyn Langelaar </strong>- Do not compare to previous partner.</p> <p><strong>Janet Olsson</strong> - Be careful. Don't rush into anything.</p> <p><strong>Lynn Dilley</strong> - Just go for it if you are happy and feel safe, but keep your money and documents to yourself.</p> <p><strong>Merle Finlayson</strong> - Go for it! It’s never too late.</p> <p><strong>Margot R McCamley </strong>- Enjoy the relationship, but there are always buts so tread carefully. Think it through thoroughly, but don't dismiss it as folly.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock</em></p>

Relationships

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"I really thought he would kill me": Erin Molan opens up about abusive relationship

<p><em><strong>Warning: This article contains discussions of domestic violence which some readers may find confronting</strong></em></p> <p>Radio and TV presenter Erin Molan has opened up for the first time about horrific abuse she endured at the hands of an ex-partner. </p> <p>Speaking candidly to the <a href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/exclusive-interview-erin-molan-opens-up-about-horrific-abuse-she-suffered-from-a-man-she-dated/news-story/d2921145ef5010a413bab6c9a830f3bc" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Sunday Telegraph</em></a>, the 40-year-old presenter recalled many of her "worst" moments with her former boyfriend, sharing how she feared for her life when he became physically abusive. </p> <p>'“He came in drunk and dragged me out of bed and started stamping his foot into my head over and over and over,” she told the publication. </p> <p>“I was lying on the floor screaming and normally if I screamed really loudly he would stop because neighbours would hear. But that time he just kept going and going and it felt like my skull was going to crack open.”</p> <p>She said the relentless physical violence became a pattern of behaviour, and she would regularly be brutally injured. </p> <p>“One time he smashed a bottle over my head,” she says. “Another time I was terrified he’d throw me off a balcony. Once I ran to hide in my car and he got a rubbish bin and started smashing it against the windscreen and I feared I would be killed by glass shattering over me.</p> <p>“Another time he covered my face with a pillow so I couldn’t breathe. I was crying for my mum. I really thought he would kill me.”</p> <p>Molan said she chose not publicly discuss the abuse while her beloved dad, Senator Jim Molan, was alive because she didn’t want to break his heart, but now she wants others to know what she went through.</p> <p>In sharing her heartbreaking story, she also hopes she can give other victims of domestic violence the courage to come forward. </p> <p>“I’m not sharing my story because I want to. My preference would be for this part of my life to never be shared but with every single death I see in this space, a part of me wonders whether I could have made a difference,” she says.</p> <p>“Could my experience have made these beautiful, innocent women feel less alone, less ashamed, less scared and could that have been the tiny thing that may have empowered them to ask for help, the thing that might have helped to save their lives?”</p> <p>Molan added that while it’s confronting for her to speak out, she wants things to change, not just for her generation but for her daughter’s.</p> <p>As she says, “I want to worry about my daughter’s first boyfriend breaking her heart, not her bones.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: for AWAPAC/Shutterstock Editorial </em></p>

Caring

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The wild reason woman is suing her boyfriend

<p dir="ltr">A woman from New Zealand is suing her boyfriend after he failed to give her a lift to the airport, causing her to miss her flight. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman, who has remained anonymous, asked her partner to pick her up from home and drop her at the airport, but he failed to show up. </p> <p dir="ltr">As a result, she missed her flight and was forced to travel the following day, missing a concert she had tickets for. </p> <p dir="ltr">The woman was so enraged that she took her partner of six years to the Disputes Tribunal to try and get him to cover some of the money she’d lost.</p> <p dir="ltr">The woman also wanted to be compensated because her boyfriend had not stayed at her house while she was away to look after her dogs, which he had agreed to do.</p> <p dir="ltr">She claimed their agreement had constituted a legally binding agreement and was seeking to be paid travel costs and the cost of putting her dogs in kennels.</p> <p dir="ltr">Tribunal referee Krysia Cowi said in a statement, “partners, friends and colleagues make social arrangements, but it is unlikely they can be legally enforced unless the parties perform some act that demonstrates an intention that they will be bound by their promises”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“When friends fail to keep their promises, the other person may suffer a financial consequence but it may be that they cannot be compensated for that loss,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Cowie said the promises made within the relationship fell short of a contract and dismissed the woman’s case, with the couple breaking up as a result. </p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p>

Legal

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"Blew our marriage to smithereens”: Keith Urban's emotional admission

<p>Keith Urban has opened up about the rocky start to his marriage with Nicole Kidman in an emotional speech in front of the Hollywood elite. </p> <p>During his speech at the 49th AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to Nicole Kidman, which was filmed in April but aired over the weekend, Urban spoke candidly about their relationship and the early days of their marriage, when Urban spent time in rehab. </p> <p>Taking to the stage, he said, “We got married in June 2006, and barely four months into our marriage, the addictions that I had done really nothing about blew our marriage to smithereens.”</p> <p>“I went into the Betty Ford Center for three months,” Urban continued.</p> <p>“Four months into a marriage, and I’m in rehab for three months with no idea what was going to happen to us.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8dWHBDIC7c/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8dWHBDIC7c/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by American Film Institute (@americanfilminstitute)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>“If you want to see what love in action really looks like, give that a whirl,” he said. </p> <p>“Nic pushed through every negative voice — I’m sure even some of her own — and she chose love. And here we are tonight 18 years later.”</p> <p>Urban went on to say his wife has “the capacity to love like no one I’ve ever met”.</p> <p>He went on to recall how they met at an event in 2005, where he got her digits on a “tiny piece of paper” that he carried “in his pocket for well over a week.”</p> <p>“I was scared,” the singer recalled. “I was nervous to call her and as prone as I might have been at the time to all sorts of delusional thinking, even I couldn’t stretch that to think that this extraordinary woman would ever see anything in a guy like me.”</p> <p>Urban finally plucked up the bravery to ring Kidman, and he said that when he did, it felt like they had “known each other our whole lives.”</p> <p>“It turned out that this mystic creature was really just a wide-eyed, vivacious giddy girl from the Sydney suburbs and despite being born in Honolulu, she was utterly Aussie through and through,” he said.</p> <p>“The thing about Nic, she loves life,” Urban added. “I’ve actually never met anyone who has such a passion for being alive. She knows the importance of expressing feelings as well. I wasn’t raised like this at all so our girls are very lucky to be learning from you, baby. I’m learning too.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Xavier Collin/Image Press Agency/Shutterstock Editorial </em></p>

Relationships

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Not quite an introvert or an extrovert? Maybe you’re an ambivert

<div class="theconversation-article-body"> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peta-stapleton-10417">Peta Stapleton</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a></em></p> <p>Our personalities are generally thought to consist of <a href="https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-big-five-personality-traits">five primary factors</a>: openness to experience, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness and neuroticism, with each of us ranking low to high for each.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/596664/original/file-20240528-17-t4z3cu.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/596664/original/file-20240528-17-t4z3cu.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=427&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/596664/original/file-20240528-17-t4z3cu.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=427&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/596664/original/file-20240528-17-t4z3cu.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=427&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/596664/original/file-20240528-17-t4z3cu.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=537&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/596664/original/file-20240528-17-t4z3cu.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=537&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/596664/original/file-20240528-17-t4z3cu.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=537&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="Graphic" /><figcaption><span class="caption">Extroversion is one of the Big Five personality traits.</span> <span class="attribution"><a class="source" href="https://www.shutterstock.com/image-vector/big-five-personality-traits-infographic-has-2197584463">Big 5 personality traits graphic</a></span></figcaption></figure> <p>Those who rank high in extroversion, known as extroverts, <a href="https://www.cell.com/heliyon/pdf/S2405-8440(20)30772-6.pdf">typically</a> focus on their external world. They tend to be more optimistic, recharge by socialising and enjoy social interaction.</p> <p>On the other end of the spectrum, introverts are more likely to be quiet, deep thinkers, who recharge by being alone and learn by observing (but aren’t necessarily shy).</p> <p>But what if you’re neither an introvert or extrovert – or you’re a bit of both? Another category might fit better: <a href="https://ijmra.in/v4i12/Doc/13.pdf">ambiverts</a>. They’re the middle of the spectrum and are also called “social introverts”.</p> <h2>What exactly is an ambivert?</h2> <p>The term ambivert <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2006-01533-004">emerged</a> in 1923. While it was not <a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fh0071034">initially embraced</a> as part of the introvert-extrovert spectrum, more recent <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0956797617724435">research</a> <a href="https://doi.org/10.1002/jhbs.21868">suggests</a> ambiverts are a distinct category.</p> <p>Ambiverts exhibit traits of both extroverts and introverts, adapting their behaviour based on the situation. It may be that they socialise well but need solitude and rest to recharge, and they intuitively know when to do this.</p> <p>Ambiverts seems to have the following characteristics:</p> <ul> <li>good communication skills, as a listener and speaker</li> <li>ability to be a peacemaker if conflict occurs</li> <li>leadership and negotiation skills, especially in teams</li> <li>compassion and understanding for others.</li> </ul> <p>Some <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/not-an-introvert-not-an-extrovert-you-may-be-an-ambivert-1438013534">research suggests</a> ambiverts make up a significant portion of the population, with about <a href="https://www.today.com/health/winning-personality-advantages-being-ambivert-t70236">two-thirds</a> of people falling into <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/jhbs.21868">this category</a>.</p> <h2>What makes someone an ambivert?</h2> <p>Personality is thought to be 50% <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0306987721000311?via%3Dihub">inherited</a>, with the remaining being influenced by environmental factors and individual experiences.</p> <p><a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27918536/">Emerging research</a> has found physical locations of genes on chromosomes closely aligned with extroversion-introversion traits.</p> <p>So, chances are, if you are a blend of the two styles as an ambivert, one of your parents may be too.</p> <h2>What do ambiverts tend to be good at?</h2> <p>One area of research focus in recent decades has been personality type and job satisfaction. <a href="https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797612463706">One study</a> examined 340 introverts, extroverts and ambiverts in sales careers.</p> <p>It has always been thought extroverts were more successful with sales. However, the author found ambiverts were more influential and successful.</p> <p>They may have a sales advantage because of their ability to read the situation and modify their behaviour if they notice a customer is not interested, as they’re <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23567176/">able to reflect and adapt</a>.</p> <h2>Ambiverts stress less than introverts</h2> <p>Generally, people lower in extroversion have higher stress levels. <a href="https://digitalcommons.unf.edu/honors/20/">One study</a> found introverts experience more stress than both ambiverts and extroverts.</p> <p>It <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7218023/">may be</a> that highly sensitive or introverted individuals are more susceptible to worry and stress due to being more perfectionistic.</p> <p>Ambiverts are adept at knowing when to be outgoing and when to be reflective, showcasing a high degree of situational awareness. This may contribute to their overall wellbeing because of how they handle stress.</p> <h2>What do ambiverts tend to struggle with?</h2> <p>Ambiverts may overextend themselves attempting to conform or fit in with many social settings. This is termed “<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23567176/">overadaptation</a>” and may force ambiverts to feel uncomfortable and strained, ultimately resulting in stress or burnout.</p> <h2>But personality traits aren’t fixed</h2> <p>Regardless of where you sit on the scale of introversion through to extroversion, the reality is it may not be fixed. Different situations may be more comfortable for introverts to be social, and extroverts may be content with quieter moments.</p> <p>And there are also four other key personality traits – openness to experience, conscientiousness, agreeableness and neuroticism – which we all possess in varying levels, and are expressed in different ways, alongside our levels of extroversion.</p> <p>There is also <a href="https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2017548118">evidence</a> our personality traits can change throughout our life spans are indeed open to change.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/223344/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/peta-stapleton-10417">Peta Stapleton</a>, Associate Professor in Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/bond-university-863">Bond University</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/not-quite-an-introvert-or-an-extrovert-maybe-youre-an-ambivert-223344">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Relationships

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David Campbell and Jimmy Barnes open up on "complicated" relationship

<p>Jimmy Barnes and David Campbell have opened up on their unconventional father-son bond in the latest episode of <em>The Apple & The Tree</em> podcast. </p> <p>The podcast hosted by Richard and Christian Wilkins aims to get under the hood of famous Aussie families, discussing the good, the bad and everything else. </p> <p>In the podcast, Jimmy revealed that he was just a teen when David was left in the care of his maternal grandmother, and he didn't know that his dad was the most famous rock star in the country until he was 10 years old. </p> <p>When asked how David felt when he realised who his dad was, he replied: "He was 30 ... and a 10-year-old just lands in his lap ... it's a really complicated situation." </p> <p>"I had lot of anxiety ... a lot of 'I don't belong here' but also 'I want to belong here'."</p> <p>Jimmy agreed, and said, "He tried to escape from it." </p> <p>The singer recalled what a tricky time it was for his son. </p> <p>"David got a bit sick when he started to realise who I was, it was overwhelming, he got migraines and stuff.</p> <p>"I was like, 'I'm sorry I'm your father ... have you seen Star Wars?'" he joked.</p> <p>Despite the rough start, Jimmy's wife Jane had hope that the new family dynamic was a positive change, and she was right. </p> <p>"We can both safely say that there was one factor that made this work quickly, it was Jane," Jimmy shared.</p> <p>"Even now, David is probably closer to Jane than he is to me," he continued.</p> <p>David also grew a close bond with his half-sister Mahalia Barnes, who was really young when they first met. </p> <p>They now have the strongest bond, both on and off stage. </p> <p>Speaking about his relationship with Mahalia, David said: "The joy of singing with Mahalia on stage, it reminds me of the time I just got there, and she was my first sister ... I trust her with secrets in my life, implicitly." </p> <p>Over time the family dynamic has developed into something that Jimmy said he cherishes dearly. </p> <p>"I can't regret anything I've done, because everything I've done has brought me to this space, with this family," he said.</p> <p>"I don't take any of this for granted, but I used to medicate, I now just meditate."</p> <p>Now that David is a parent himself he added that there are some perks for his kids for having a world-famous rocker as their 'Pa'.</p> <p>"When Grandparent Day happens, all of a sudden every parent turns up really dressed well ... asking for selfies," he said.</p> <p><em>Image: X/ Nine</em></p>

Family & Pets

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Mark 'The Beast' Labbett's girlfriend drops major relationship bombshell

<p>Just days after their one year anniversary, Mark 'The Beast' Labbett and his girlfriend Hayley Palmer have shared a major relationship update. </p> <p>Labbett, 58, and Palmer, 42, met at the UK National Television Awards in 2022, and later became a couple.</p> <p>But now, less than one week after celebrating their one year anniversary, the couple have announced their separation. </p> <p>Palmer, an entertainment news presenter, shared the news of their split on Instagram, shocking fans everywhere.</p> <p>“It is with regret I announce that myself and Mark have gone our separate ways," she began.</p> <p>"We had the best year together, and I truly wish him all the very best for the future. Off I go to listen to Taylor Swift.” </p> <p>Hayley also added the heartbreak emoji at the end of the message.</p> <p>The couple had been together for just over a year and posted Instagram photos to mark their anniversary after spending the day together at the beach where they spent their first date.</p> <p>However, just days later, the couple opened up about some issues they have been facing in their relationship. </p> <p>In an appearance on UK talk show <em>Loose Women</em>, Labbett, star of <em>The Chase Australia</em>, said, “The difficult thing is, we live quite a bit apart. Obviously I live up in Sheffield, Rotherham, she’s a Chelsea girl."</p> <p>“We tend to look at our diaries and when we can sync up together and so the good news is we see each other every few weeks but we make the most of it when we’re together so you get the best of both worlds.”</p> <p>Before his relationship with Palmer, Labbett was married to his second cousin, Katie, and the pair have a son, Lawrence.</p> <p><em>Image credits: Instagram </em></p>

Relationships

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Is attachment theory actually important for romantic relationships?

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marissa-nivison-1454992">Marissa Nivison</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sheri-madigan-417151">Sheri Madigan</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a></em></p> <p>There has been a recent surge of attention toward attachment theory: from <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL2aW9va/">TikTok videos</a> to <a href="https://quiz.attachmentproject.com/">online quizzes</a> that claim to “assess your attachment style.” It’s become a hot topic, especially in the context of romantic relationships, with <a href="https://medium.com/curious/the-theory-that-explains-all-your-failed-relationships-fb2dc2551617">some articles</a> claiming that one person (or partner’s) attachment styles are the reason why relationships fail.</p> <p>As experts in developmental and clinical psychology focusing on attachment theory, we seek to provide an accessible resource to better understand the science of attachment, and what it means for one’s romantic relationships.</p> <h2>What is attachment?</h2> <p>Attachment theory stems from the field of developmental psychology. It is the notion that in the first year of life, the ways in which a parent and caregiver respond to a child’s needs shape a child’s expectation of relationships across their lifespan.</p> <p>In research, attachment has been associated with well-being across the lifespan including: <a href="https://doi.org/10.1017/S0954579499002035">mental</a> and <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/14616734.2018.1541517">physical</a> health, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/a0032671">brain functioning</a> and even <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&amp;type=pdf&amp;doi=092354a82953ac321429f84b00607bcd44ac4c63">romantic relationships</a>.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=455&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=455&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=455&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=572&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=572&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587576/original/file-20240411-16-x97xu0.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=572&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="Illustrations of four different attachment styes" /><figcaption><span class="caption">There are two overarching types of attachment: secure and insecure. Types of insecure attachment include disorganized, avoidant and anxious attachment.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure> <h2>How is attachment related to romantic relationships?</h2> <p>Among professionals in the field, there is diversity in perspectives regarding how attachment relates with romantic relationships. As developmental psychologists, we tend to think that attachment is associated with romantic relationships through what we call the “<a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/14616739900134191">internal working model</a>.”</p> <p>In childhood, when a parent is consistent and responsive in tending to their child, the child learns that their parent can be counted on in times of need. These expectations and beliefs about relationships are then internalized as a blueprint, sometimes in popular media referred to as a “<a href="https://medium.com/live-your-life-on-purpose/love-maps-are-a-gamechanger-when-you-have-an-anxious-attachment-style-dc8f219ab0af">love map</a>.” Just like how an architect uses a blueprint to design a building, a child’s attachment to their parents provides a blueprint for understanding how to approach other relationships.</p> <p>Based on this blueprint, people develop expectations of how relationships should work, and how other important people in their life, including partners, should respond to their needs.</p> <p>Sometimes attachment is also described in terms of attachment “styles.” There are two overarching types of attachment: <a href="https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203758045">secure and insecure</a>. Those with a secure attachment style tend to have expectations that their attachment figures (and later, partners) will be responsive, sensitive and caring in times of distress. People with secure “blueprints” find it easier to build new structures (i.e., relationships) with the same design.</p> <p>People with insecure blueprints — such as disorganized, avoidant or anxious attachment styles — may face relationship challenges when their current relationship doesn’t align with their childhood experiences, and may need to renovate their blueprint design together with their partner.</p> <p>Whether you think about attachment as a style or a love map, they both are related to expectations of relationships, which are shaped by past experiences.</p> <p>In research we see that people who had consistent, reliable and sensitive parents are more likely to have more positive relationships — including <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1997.tb00135.x">friendships</a>, <a href="https://doi.org/10.1111/cdev.13322">teacher-child relationships</a> and yes, <a href="https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&amp;type=pdf&amp;doi=092354a82953ac321429f84b00607bcd44ac4c63">romantic relationships too</a>.</p> <h2>Relationships with parents and relationships with partners</h2> <p>Although we do see in research that better childhood relationships are associated with better romantic relationships, there is still a large part of the population who have good relationships with partners, despite their history of lower-quality relationships with their parents.</p> <figure class="align-center "><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=453&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=453&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=600&amp;h=453&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=569&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=30&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=569&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/587575/original/file-20240411-16-fn5xgk.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=15&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;h=569&amp;fit=crop&amp;dpr=3 2262w" alt="Illustration of loving parents with a child, and the grown child in a loving relationship" /><figcaption><span class="caption">In research we see that people who had consistent, reliable and sensitive parents are more likely to have more positive relationships.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="source">(Shutterstock)</span></span></figcaption></figure> <p>It is possible for romantic relationships to serve as a <a href="https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.4.2.155">“healing relationship”</a> and improve one’s own internal working model of relationships. Specifically, when a partner is consistently sensitive, responsive and available, a person may begin to adjust their blueprint and develop new expectations from relationships. Attachment theory consistently supports the idea that one’s patterns of attachment <a href="https://eric.ed.gov/?id=EJ960225">can change</a>.</p> <p>So, all in all, the answer is no: Your relationship with your parents influences but does not <em>determine</em> the quality of your romantic relationships.</p> <h2>Is attachment the reason why my relationships don’t work out?</h2> <p>It is possible that your expectations of a romantic relationship may not align with the expectations of your partner, and may affect the quality of the relationship. For example, sometimes individuals with insecure attachments may withdraw when they are upset, but their partner who has a secure attachment may be upset that their partner is not coming to them for comfort.</p> <p>Thinking through your own attachment history and expectations of relationships may be a great opportunity for self-reflection, but it is important to remember that attachment is only one part of a relationship. Communication, trust and respect, to name a few, are also critically important aspects of a relationship.</p> <h2>Can I improve my attachment expectations?</h2> <p>The short answer: Yes! Improving attachment quality has been one of the cornerstones of attachment theory and research since its conception. Most commonly, attachment is targeted in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0LCPe5CMarYi1NmqNttDcg/videos">childhood through interventions</a>, but also in adulthood through individual therapy, or various forms of couples therapy, such as <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaHms5z-yuM">Emotionally Focused Therapy</a> or the <a href="https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/">Gottman Method</a>.</p> <p>It is also possible that through positive relationships you may be able to improve your own expectations of relationships. There are many different avenues to explore, but improvement is always possible.</p> <p>In sum, attachment can be an important factor in romantic relationships, but it is not a “catch-all” to be blamed for why relationships may not work out. Thinking about your own expectations for relationships and talking through those with your partner may do great things in improving the quality of your relationships!  <!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/226101/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/marissa-nivison-1454992">Marissa Nivison</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Department of Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/sheri-madigan-417151">Sheri Madigan</a>, Professor, Canada Research Chair in Determinants of Child Development, Owerko Centre at the Alberta Children’s Hospital Research Institute, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-calgary-1318">University of Calgary</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-attachment-theory-actually-important-for-romantic-relationships-226101">original article</a>.</em></p>

Relationships

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Leap of imagination: how February 29 reminds us of our mysterious relationship with time and space

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-ohara-874665">Emily O'Hara</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/auckland-university-of-technology-1137">Auckland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p>If you find it intriguing that February 28 will be followed this week by February 29, rather than March 1 as it usually is, spare a thought for those alive in 1582. Back then, Thursday October 4 was followed by Friday October 15.</p> <p>Ten whole days were snatched from the present when Pope Gregory XIII issued a papal bull to “restore” the calendar from discrepancies that had crept into the Julian calendar, introduced by Julius Caesar in 45 BCE.</p> <p>The new Gregorian calendar returned the northern hemisphere’s vernal equinox to its “proper” place, around March 21. (The equinox is when the Earth’s axis is tilted neither toward nor away from the sun, and is used to determine the date of Easter.)</p> <p>The Julian calendar had observed a leap year every four years, but this meant time had drifted out of alignment with the dates of celestial events and astronomical seasons.</p> <p>In the Gregorian calendar, leap days were added only to years that were a multiple of four – like 2024 – with an exception for years that were evenly divisible by 100, but not 400 – like 1700.</p> <p>Simply put, leap days exist because it doesn’t take a neat 365 days for Earth to orbit the Sun. It takes 365.2422 days. Tracking the movement of celestial objects through space in an orderly pattern doesn’t quite work, which is why we have February – time’s great mop.</p> <h2>Time and space</h2> <p>This is just part of the history of how February – the shortest month, and originally the last month in the Roman calendar – came to have the job of absorbing those inconsistencies in the temporal calculations of the world’s most commonly used calendar.</p> <p>There is plenty of <a href="https://theconversation.com/leap-day-fixing-the-faults-in-our-stars-54032">science</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/explainer-the-science-behind-leap-years-and-how-they-work-54788">maths</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-a-seasonal-snarl-up-in-the-mid-1500s-gave-us-our-strange-rules-for-leap-years-132659">astrophysics</a> explaining the relationship between time and the planet we live on. But I like to think leap years and days offer something even more interesting to consider: why do we have calendars anyway?</p> <p>And what have they got to do with how we understand the wonder and strangeness of our existence in the universe? Because calendars tell a story, not just about time, but also about space.</p> <p>Our reckoning of time on Earth is through our spatial relationship to the Sun, Moon and stars. Time, and its place in our lives, sits somewhere between the scientific, the celestial and the spiritual.</p> <p>It is <a href="https://shop.whitechapelgallery.org/products/time">notoriously slippery, subjective and experiential</a>. It is also marked, tracked and determined in myriad ways across different cultures, from tropical to solar to <a href="https://www.stuff.co.nz/pou-tiaki/300062097/matariki-and-the-maramataka-the-mori-lunar-calendar">lunar</a> calendars.</p> <p>It is the Sun that measures a day and gives us our first reference point for understanding time. But it is the <a href="https://librarysearch.aut.ac.nz/vufind/Record/1145999?sid=25214690">Moon</a>, as a major celestial body, that extends our perception of time. By stretching a span of one day into something longer, it offers us a chance for philosophical reflection.</p> <p>The Sun (or its effect at least) is either present or not present. The Moon, however, goes through phases of transformation. It appears and disappears, changing shape and hinting that one night is not exactly like the one before or after.</p> <p>The Moon also has a distinct rhythm that can be tracked and understood as a pattern, giving us another sense of duration. Time is just that – overlapping durations: instants, seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, lifetimes, centuries, ages.</p> <h2>The elusive Moon</h2> <p>It is almost impossible to imagine how time might feel in the absence of all the tools and gadgets we use to track, control and corral it. But it’s also hard to know what we might do in the absence of time as a unit of productivity – a measurable, dispensable resource.</p> <p>The closest we might come is simply to imagine what life might feel like in the absence of the Moon. Each day would rise and fall, in a rhythm of its own, but without visible reference to anything else. Just endless shifts from light to dark.</p> <p>Nights would be almost completely dark without the light of the Moon. Only stars at a much further distance would puncture the inky sky. The world around us would change – trees would grow, mammals would age and die, land masses would shift and change – but all would happen in an endless cycle of sunrise to sunset.</p> <p>The light from the Sun takes <a href="https://www.skyatnightmagazine.com/space-science/how-take-light-from-sun-reach-earth">eight minutes</a> to reach Earth, so the sunlight we see is always eight minutes in the past.</p> <p>I remember sitting outside when I first learned this, and wondering what the temporal delay might be between me and other objects: a plum tree, trees at the end of the street, hills in the distance, light on the horizon when looking out over the ocean, stars in the night sky.</p> <p>Moonlight, for reference, takes about <a href="https://www.pbs.org/seeinginthedark/astronomy-topics/light-as-a-cosmic-time-machine.html">1.3 seconds</a> to get to Earth. Light always travels at the same speed, it is entirely constant. The differing duration between how long it takes for sunlight or moonlight to reach the Earth is determined by the space in between.</p> <p>Time on the other hand, is anything but constant. There are countless ways we characterise it. The mere fact we have so many calendars and ways of describing perceptual time hints at our inability to pin it down.</p> <p>Calendars give us the impression we can, and have, made time predictable and understandable. Leap years, days and seconds serve as a periodic reminder that we haven’t.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/224503/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/emily-ohara-874665"><em>Emily O'Hara</em></a><em>, Senior Lecturer, Spatial Design + Temporary Practices, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/auckland-university-of-technology-1137">Auckland University of Technology</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Shutterstock </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/leap-of-imagination-how-february-29-reminds-us-of-our-mysterious-relationship-with-time-and-space-224503">original article</a>.</em></p>

Technology

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“I was silenced”: Jelena Dokic opens up on her difficult relationship with her father

<p dir="ltr">Jelena Dokic has opened up about her difficult relationship with her father, and why she attempted to reconcile with him over ten years ago. </p> <p dir="ltr">The former tennis champion shared the details of the abuse she suffered at the hands of her father, documenting that he inflicted regular beatings in her new book <em>Unbreakable</em>. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 40-year-old said her victories on the court made no difference to her father’s violence, writing, “Even if I won, I would still at times be beaten and be abused. I had some very difficult moments where I was beaten and kicked and punched to the point of being unconscious.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Throughout her tennis career, her father Damir was her coach, and accepted nothing less than perfection from his daughter. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I was silenced for my whole life. From the very first day that I started playing tennis, the No. 1 rule was ‘Never tell anyone anything, or there will be massive, massive consequences’,” she said of his dominating personality.</p> <p dir="ltr">Now, Dokic has candidly shared the details of the last time she saw her father, who left her mentally scarred. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I last had contact with him about 10 years ago. And yeah, I even tried to reconcile with him once or twice,” she told the <em><a href="https://www.smh.com.au/sport/tennis/why-i-and-so-many-others-needed-to-apologise-to-jelena-dokic-20240125-p5f050.html">Sydney Morning Herald</a></em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I think no matter what happens, you kind of hope that maybe you can kind of salvage a relationship when it comes to family.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Those dynamics are always very difficult. But it's very hard when someone doesn't have any remorse or can't say sorry. In fact, what he says is that he would do it all again. So, for me, that is very, very hard.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“I had to make a cut and go, ‘I don't need a toxic person or a toxic relationship in my life’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Thankfully, the star player turned tennis commentator is in a much better place with her brother and mother.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I have a great relationship with my brother, which I'm really glad about because my father used my brother and weaponised our relationship - not allowing me to talk with him for about seven years, because he was so much younger than me,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We pretty much talk every day, and with my mum, as well. I've had some tough conversations with her because she was on my father's side - but we're in a good place today.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images / Instagram</em><span id="docs-internal-guid-4118e97e-7fff-f711-4be7-4d1833689cc4"></span></p>

Family & Pets

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Radio star shares devastating relationship news

<p dir="ltr">Nova radio host Tim Blackwell has announced that he and his wife of 14 years have separated. </p> <p dir="ltr">Blackwell, co-host of the <em>Ricki-Lee, Tim &amp; Joel</em> drive show, married his now-ex Monique in 2009, with the couple announcing their split in an emotional Instagram post. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Not all good things end, but this has,” the yoga instructor wrote in a caption alongside two pictures of herself and Tim, 42.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Thank you in advance for your messages of love, support and sadness at the news that Tim &amp; I are no longer together.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Our babes are forever supported by Tim’s and my love for them. And our friendship together is a source of strength for our family always, as we raise our children as best friends.”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C0qsVaiv3-K/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C0qsVaiv3-K/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Monique Blackwell (@moniquepickles)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">The couple share three children: Bo, 10, Alfie, seven, and Artie, four.</p> <p dir="ltr">Back in 2018, Tim opened up about the day he met his wife, and how it happened to coincide with the biggest day of his career. </p> <p dir="ltr">Speaking candidly to <em>Stellar</em> magazine, he explained it happened after he’d just moved to Perth in 2002 to launch Nova 93.7FM’s drive show.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It’s the cheesiest radio-nerd story ever — one of the biggest days for my career and certainly the biggest day of my love-life,” Tim told the publication. </p> <p dir="ltr">“I had all the big bosses in town, all the news media there. I was shaking and absolutely sh***ing myself but also exhilarated at the same time.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Once all that was over, we went downstairs and had this huge launch party and Monique was a part of the promotions team at the time there. She came over and I got the courage to say, ‘I’m new to Perth and I’d love to take you out to coffee or something’.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Instagram</em></p>

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Slimmed down Oprah addresses Ozempic rumours

<p>Oprah Winfrey has addressed rumours about her impressive weight loss on the red carpet. </p> <p>The TV icon stunned at the premiere for the reboot of <em>The Color Purple</em>, walking the red carpet in a figure-hugging purple dress in Los Angeles on Wednesday night.</p> <p>While doing an interview with <a href="https://www.etonline.com/oprah-winfrey-reacts-to-her-physical-transformation-at-the-color-purple-premiere-exclusive-216118" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Entertainment Tonight</em></a>, the 69-year-old spoke candidly about her body transformation. </p> <p>ET host Kevin Frazier told Winfrey she was looking “divine in purple” and then asked, “What’s going on? Because if this is WeightWatchers, please, sign me up tonight!”</p> <p>“Well it’s not one thing, it’s everything … and I intend to keep it that way,” she replied, noting that she “was on that treadmill” hours before the premiere kicked off.</p> <p>Oprah's admission comes after her drastic weight loss was the subject of many rumours, with many people questioning whether she had used the weight loss drug to slim down. </p> <p>The former TV host did admit that she had contemplated the controversial weight loss injections, but ultimately decided against using it. </p> <p>“When I first started hearing about the weight loss drugs, at the same time, I was going through knee surgery, and I felt, ‘I’ve got to do this on my own,’” she explained on an episode of Oprah Daily’s The Life You Want: The State of Weight, which featured a panel of obesity specialists.</p> <p>“Because if I take the drug, that’s the easy way out.”</p> <p>Oprah has long been an ambassador for Weight Watchers, and said in 2015 when she first partnered with the company that her new lifestyle is "a way of living that’s so freeing". </p> <p style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 24px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;"><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p>

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Robert Irwin's girlfriend sparks engagement rumours with sweet birthday post

<p>Robert Irwin's girlfriend, Rorie Buckey has shared a sweet birthday tribute for the Wildlife Warrior's 20th birthday, and the post has added fuel to the engagement rumours. </p> <p>"Happy birthday to the most radiant, beautiful human being. You are my everything," she captioned the photo of Robert on her Instagram stories. </p> <p>She then shared an Instagram post dedicated to her beau with the caption: "Happy 20th birthday to my partner in crime and best friend. I love you." </p> <p>"Awww Rorie ❤️ thank you, I can’t wait to enter my 20th year with you!" Robert replied in the comments. </p> <p>The pair are currently in a long-distance relationship with Rorie based in Perth and Robert in Queensland. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0RrFb5vgaB/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C0RrFb5vgaB/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Rors 🦋💌🌼🌷 (@roriebuckey)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>But that doesn't stop their love from blooming, with Rorie already winning the hearts of the young conservationist's family after showing her willingness to go out into nature. </p> <p>Robert is reportedly planning to propose in the coming months, when Rorie visits him in Africa while he films <em>I'm A Celebrity</em>.</p> <p>"Everyone is convinced he is aiming to pop the question when they're in Africa," an insider told <em>New Idea magazine</em>.</p> <p>"Robert is crazy about her and is planning something unforgettable when he formally proposes. They both know it is part of their plans so he's been dreaming up special ways to make it a surprise."</p> <p>The source added that the young lovebirds are taking their relationship "very serious," and have been planning their future together. </p> <p>Robert and Rorie first made their <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/beauty-style/robert-irwin-makes-red-carpet-debut-with-girlfriend" target="_blank" rel="noopener">red carpet debut</a> as a couple in July, after months of rumours that the pair were dating. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

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Nat Bass slams "vicious" comments about new relationship

<p>Natalie Bassingthwaighte has hit back at trolls just days after <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/nat-bass-shares-sweet-photos-with-new-partner" target="_blank" rel="noopener">publicly debuting</a> her new girlfriend, Pip Loth. </p> <p>The singer, 48, took to Instagram on Thursday to reveal that while most supported her new relationship, other trolls had shared "vicious" and "horrific" comments. </p> <p>The <em>Rouge Traders</em> star shared an emotional plea about wanting the hate to stop and said that she will be blocking trolls. </p> <p>"I felt like it was really important to say thank you for the love and support I've received in the last little while... on the flip side, with love comes hate and I'm not a hater," she began. </p> <p>"I don't understand how people have time to go on somebody's page and comment so viciously and horrifically and intentionally make people feel awful, it's not accepted on my page and I won't have it."</p> <p>"My team will be looking at the comments and blocking anyone who says anyone negative towards anyone I love, that includes my family, Cam, my kids and my girlfriend. We all deserve respect and love as we're all human, we all bleed, cry and all suffer."</p> <p>She then urged the trolls and paparazzi to stop: "It's a load of crap, it's not acceptable and I want it to stop!</p> <p>"Be kind, you don't know what people are going through and it's a dangerous slippery slope," she added. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/C0QDCjhvTaS/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/C0QDCjhvTaS/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Natalie Bassingthwaighte (@natbassingthwaighte)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>Fans shared support for the singer, and applauded her for standing up for herself and her loved ones. </p> <p>"I’m so happy to hear you are getting rid of all the negativity. I don’t get it either. I guess happy people don’t do that to others. These trolls have sad, miserable lives. I support you 100%" one wrote. </p> <p>"Sending you and your beautiful family so much love 💜💫 well said keep shining that beautiful light of yours," added another. </p> <p>"You go Girl!! ❤️💯 Block and delete," commented a third. </p> <p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>

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Meryl Streep's shocking relationship news

<p>Meryl Streep has confirmed her separation from her longtime husband Don Gummer. </p> <p>The couple were married for 45 years and share four children together, as well as five grandchildren. </p> <p>A spokesperson for Streep confirmed that Meryl and Don have been living apart for six years, after going through their separation away from the public eye. </p> <p>A statement from Streep's spokesperson to <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2023/10/meryl-streep-don-gummer-separated" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Vanity</em> <em>Fair</em></a> said, "Don Gummer and Meryl Streep have been separated for more than six years, and while they will always care for each other, they have chosen lives apart.”</p> <p>Despite their separation, Streep continues to wear her wedding ring, as she was spotted at an awards ceremony in Spain on Friday with the band still on her finger. </p> <p>The couple were last pictured together at the 2018 Oscars ceremony.</p> <p>Meryl and Don share four children: singer-songwriter Henry Wolfe, 43, and actresses Mamie Gummer, 40, Grace Gummer, 37, and Louisa Jacobson, 30, whom they raised at their Connecticut compound in the quiet, historic town of Salisbury.</p> <p>Streep and Gummer were first introduced by her brother, Harry, in 1978, and married that same year. </p> <p>They have long been determined to keep their relationship out of the public eye, and have only been spotted together at major Hollywood events. </p> <p>Some years ago, Streep was quoted saying, “It sure isn’t easy being married to an actress." </p> <p>“But if you give each other space, you also get closeness. And time is still the best thing we can give each other nowadays.” </p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

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Carrie Bickmore's rumoured TV return

<p>Carrie Bickmore is rumoured to be the next host of the upcoming reboot of the iconic Aussie game show <em>Deal or No Deal. </em></p> <p>The former <em>The Project </em>anchor is the front-runner to host the series which is set to air on Channel 10 next year. </p> <p>It is understood that the network is desperate to get Bickmore onboard, but with fame comes a hefty price tag. </p> <p>“She’s one of the biggest stars in Australia and she comes with a very big price tag,” a source reportedly told <em>New Idea</em>, revealing that her current rate is believed to be over $500,000.</p> <p>“Deal or No Deal is currently lined up to air at 6pm as the lead-in to The Project - with hopes those eyeballs that tune in to the game show will stay on to watch Sarah Harris, Waleed Aly, and the gang,” the source added. </p> <p>“It’d be a win-win for the network, getting Carrie back on TV and hosting a show that could actually get people back into watching The Project - it’s sort of genius.”</p> <p>However, she isn't the only star the broadcaster have their eyes on. </p> <p>Peter Helliar is also rumoured to be part of the line up, with a much cheaper price tag. </p> <p><em>Deal or No Deal</em> first aired in 2003 on Channel 7, and had a ten-year run before the show was axed.</p> <p>Although there's no set date for the when the show will air just yet, they are looking for their next stars with <a href="https://eu.castitreach.com/ag/esgau/dond/welcome.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">casting calls</a> open for those over 18. </p> <p>Image: </p>

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What does having a ‘good relationship with food’ mean? 4 ways to know if you’ve got one

<p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/clare-collins-7316">Clare Collins</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-newcastle-1060">University of Newcastle</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tracy-burrows-172931">Tracy Burrows</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-newcastle-1060">University of Newcastle</a></em></p> <p>Travelling on a train recently you couldn’t help but overhear two women deep in conversation about a mutual obsession with food, including emotional triggers that pushed them towards chocolate and pizza.</p> <p>They shared feeling guilty about a perceived lack of willpower around food and regularly rummaging through the fridge looking for tasty treats to help soothe emotions. Both lamented not being able to stop and think before eating.</p> <p>Their discussion was a long way from talking about physiological requirements for food to fuel your body and meet essential nutrient needs. Instead, it was highly emotive.</p> <p>It got me thinking about the meaning of a healthy relationship with food, how a person’s eating behaviours develop, and how a “good” relationship can be nurtured. Here’s what a “healthy” food relationship can look like.</p> <h2>What does a ‘good relationship with food’ mean?</h2> <p>You can check whether your relationship with food is “<a href="https://www.rwapsych.com.au/blog/what-does-a-healthy-relationship-with-food-and-eating-look-like/">healthy</a>” by seeing how many items on this list you tick “yes” to. Are you:</p> <ol> <li> <p>in tune with your body cues, meaning you’re aware when you are hungry, when you’re not, and when you’re feeling full?</p> </li> <li> <p>eating appropriate amounts and variety of foods across all food groups, at regular intervals so your nutrient, health and wellbeing needs are met?</p> </li> <li> <p>comfortable eating with others and also eating alone?</p> </li> <li> <p>able to enjoy food, without feelings of guilt or it dominating your life?</p> </li> </ol> <p>If you didn’t get many ticks, you might need to work on improving your relationship with food.</p> <h2>Why does a good relationship with food matter?</h2> <p>A lot of “no” responses indicate you may be using food as a coping mechanism in response to <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36863205/">negative emotions</a>. The problem is this <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36839185/">triggers the brain’s reward centre</a>, meaning although you feel better, this behaviour becomes reinforced, so you are more likely to keep eating in response to negative emotions.</p> <p>Emotional eating and bouts of uncontrolled eating are more likely to be associated with <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36863205">eating disorder symptoms</a> and with having a worse quality diet, including lower intakes of vegetable and higher intakes of nutrient-poor foods.</p> <p>A review of studies on food addiction and mental health found healthy dietary patterns were associated with a lower risk of both disordered eating and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29368800/">food addiction</a>. Higher intakes of vegetables and fruit were found to be associated with <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35586735/">lower perceived stress</a>, tension, worry and lack of joy in a cohort of more than 8,000 Australian adults.</p> <h2>How to develop a healthy food relationship</h2> <p>There are ways to improve your relationship with food. Here are some tips:</p> <p><strong>1. keep a ‘food mood’ <a href="https://nomoneynotime.com.au/ebooks-meal-plans-more/nmnt-food-and-mood-diary">diary</a>.</strong> Writing down when and where you eat and drink, whom you’re with, what you’re doing, and how all this makes you feel, will give you personal insights into when, what and why you consume the things you do. This helps increase awareness of emotions including stress, anxiety, depression, and factors that influence eating and drinking.</p> <p><strong>2. reflect on what you wrote</strong> in your food mood diary, especially “why” you’re eating when you eat. If reasons include stress, low mood or other emotions, create a distraction list featuring activities such as going for a walk or listening to music, and put it on the fridge, noticeboard or in your phone, so it’s easy to access.</p> <p><strong>3. practise <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28848310/">mindful eating</a>.</strong> This means slowing down so you become very aware of what is happening in your body and mind, moment by moment, when eating and drinking, without making any judgement about your thoughts and feelings. Mindless eating occurs when you eat without thinking at all. Being <a href="https://www.headspace.com/mindfulness/mindful-eating">mindful</a> means taking the time to check whether you really are hungry, or whether it’s “eye” hunger <a href="https://theconversation.com/health-check-six-tips-for-losing-weight-without-fad-diets-52496">triggered by seeing food</a>, “nose” hunger triggered by smells wafting from shops or cafes, “emotional hunger” triggered by feelings, or true, tummy-rumbling hunger.</p> <p><strong>4. learn about <a href="https://nomoneynotime.com.au/hacks-myths-faqs/healthy-eating-why-caring-about-the-foods-you-eat-is-worth-it">your nutrient needs</a>.</strong> Learning why your body needs specific vitamins and minerals and the foods they’re in, rather than just mentally coding food as “good” or “bad”, can help you drop the guilt. Banning “bad” foods makes you want them more, and like them more. Mindfulness can help you gain an <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24035461/">appreciation of foods that are both</a> pleasing and nourishing.</p> <p><strong>5. focus on getting enjoyment from food.</strong> Mindless eating can be reduced by focusing on enjoying food and the pleasure that comes from preparing and sharing food with others. One <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24035461/">intervention</a> for women who had concerns about dieting and weight control used workshops to raise their awareness of food cues that prompt eating, including emotions, or being in places they normally associate with eating, and also sensory aspects of food including taste, touch, smell, sound and texture. It also aimed to instruct them in how to embrace pleasure from social, emotional and cultural aspects of food. The intervention led to a reduction in overeating in response to emotional cues such as sadness and stress. Another <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33347469/">review</a> of 11 intervention studies that promoted eating pleasure and enjoyment found promising results on healthy eating, including better diet quality, healthier portion sizes, healthier food choices and greater liking of healthy foods. Participants also reported healthy food tasted better and got easier to cook more often at home.</p> <h2>Where to get help to improve your relationship with food</h2> <p>A healthy relationship with food also means the absence of <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/eating-disorders">disordered eating</a>, including binge eating, bulimia and anorexia.</p> <p>If you, or someone you know, shows <a href="https://www.rwapsych.com.au/blog/what-does-a-healthy-relationship-with-food-and-eating-look-like/">signs suggesting disordered eating</a>, such as regularly using restrictive practices to limit food intake, skipping meals, food rituals dictating which foods or combinations to eat at specific times, binge eating, feeling out of control around food, secret eating, inducing vomiting, or use of diet pills, follow up with a GP or health professional.</p> <p>You can get more information from <a href="https://insideoutinstitute.org.au/about-us">InsideOut</a>, an Australian institute for eating disorders. Try their online <a href="https://insideoutinstitute.org.au/for-myself">food relationship “check-up”</a> tool.</p> <p>The <a href="https://butterfly.org.au/">Butterfly Foundation</a> also has specific resources for <a href="https://butterfly.org.au/back-to-school-a-body-image-and-mental-health-guide-for-parents-and-children/">parents</a> and <a href="https://butterfly.org.au/">teachers</a> and a helpline operating from 8am to midnight, seven days a week on 1800 334673.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/202622/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/clare-collins-7316">Clare Collins</a>, Laureate Professor in Nutrition and Dietetics, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-newcastle-1060">University of Newcastle</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/tracy-burrows-172931">Tracy Burrows</a>, Professor Nutrition and Dietetics, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-newcastle-1060">University of Newcastle</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-does-having-a-good-relationship-with-food-mean-4-ways-to-know-if-youve-got-one-202622">original article</a>.</em></p>

Food & Wine

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"You're crazy": Adele accidentally confirms long-running rumour

<p dir="ltr">Adele has reignited a long-standing rumour about her relationship status during her concert in Las Vegas. </p> <p dir="ltr">During her residency show on Saturday night, one excited concertgoer jokingly proposed to the iconic singer, with the moment being captured on video by another fan. </p> <p dir="ltr">Adele, 35, replied to the fan's tongue-in-cheek proposal by saying, "You can't marry me. I'm straight, my love, and my husband's here tonight," referring to her partner of two years, NBA agent Rich Paul, 41.</p> <p dir="ltr">The female fan asked Adele if she'd be willing to "try", to which the singer quipped, "No, I don't want to try! I'm with Rich... you're crazy, leave me alone."</p> <p dir="ltr">The clip of the moment was then posted to TikTok, as fans flocked to the comments to speculate if she was joking about her relationship status, or if she had married her partner in secret.</p> <p dir="ltr">Since the pair first started dating in July 2021, they have attracted a slew of marriage rumours. </p> <p dir="ltr">She last addressed the rumours in 2022 in a candid chat with <a href="https://www.elle.com/culture/music/a40803238/adele-interview-elle-september-cover-2022/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Elle</a> magazine, in which she said "I'm not married. I'm not married!...I'm just in loooove! I'm happy as I'll ever be."</p> <p dir="ltr">The couple first met at a mutual friend's birthday party and immediately hit it off.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I was a bit drunk," Adele revealed in a 2021 interview with <a href="https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifestyle/article/adele-british-vogue-interview" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Vogue</a>. "I said, 'Do you want to sign me? I'm an athlete now.'"</p> <p dir="ltr">"He was dancing. All the other guys were just sitting around. He was just dancing away," the singer added.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

Relationships

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11 simple daily habits of couples in healthy relationships

<p><strong>The secrets of happy relationships </strong></p> <p>Do you expect your partner to take out the bins every week without ever being thanked? Can you recall the last time you paid your partner a compliment? Find out the secrets of people in a happy and healthy relationship.</p> <p><strong>They Netflix and chill together </strong></p> <p>There are many little ways to boost your marriage – and chief among them is simple companionship. Even if you’re couch surfing, do it together. Spending time with one another is one of the highlights of a healthy relationship. If he’s reading a book, grab one and cuddle up next to him. Bring him a drink while he’s mowing the lawn. Does washing the car bore you to tears? Then simply stand nearby and chat while he suds it up.</p> <p>“In the beginning, couples go out of their way to impress each other and create new ‘first memories’ together,” says Julie Spira, an online dating expert, CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert and author of <em>The Perils of Cyber-Dating</em>. “After a while, just being together rises to the top of the relationship totem pole.” And there’s nothing wrong with a good binge-watch. One study found a direct link between media consumption while together and relationship satisfaction.</p> <p><strong>They compliment one another</strong></p> <p>Here’s how to have a healthy relationship: Tell him how hot he is. Or that he smells delicious. Give her rear a smack in those jeans you adore. Happy couples know how to give a sincere compliment in the moment. In fact, a study found that receiving a compliment has the same positive effect as receiving cash.</p> <p>“Compliments are the quickest way to put a smile on your partner’s face,” says Spira. “Find something appealing about the other and never forget what attracted you to him in the first place. If it’s her ability to fill in the Sunday crossword puzzle or his ability to take charge when you need it, let each other know.”</p> <p><strong>They say those three little words</strong></p> <p>If you’re looking to build a stronger relationship, you’re going to need to say “I love you.” Happy couples say it throughout the day – when they wake up, when they’re eating lunch, when they go to sleep. “Saying I love you to your partner, whether it’s first thing in the morning or at bedtime, is important,” says Bonnie Winston, a celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert.</p> <p>“And saying it with a shared kiss makes it extra special.” She says for variation to try other meaningful three-word phrases like “You amaze me,” “You enthrall me,” “I adore you,” or “You’re my everything.” They slip it into conversation whenever they can. Just be sure that you say these words genuinely. “Those three little words are great to say, as long as you say them with intent and not just purely out of habit,” says Alexis Meads, a professional dating coach.</p> <p><strong>They say thank you</strong></p> <p>One of the best ways to make your spouse feel loved is to show graciousness – even for something as seemingly trivial as picking up the kids from a playdate or grabbing a carton of milk at the supermarket. “Appreciation for all the good your partner contributes to your life is vital,” says Gilda Carle, PhD, relationship expert and author of <em>Ask for What You Want AND GET IT</em>. “Thank-yous go a long way to continuing wedded bliss.” In fact, a study in the Journal of Applied Sport Psychology found that gratitude increased an athlete’s self-esteem, which is a component of an optimal performance.</p> <p>For the sake of your relationship, it’s important to express your appreciation for what your significant other does for you. “No one wants to feel taken for granted,” says Antonia Hall, MA, a psychologist and relationship expert. “By finding things each day for which you’re grateful and expressing it to your sweetie, you foster positive connectivity with him. It will make him feel appreciated and often sparks his desire to want to please you all the more.”</p> <p><strong>They show PDA</strong></p> <p>Public displays of affection aren’t just for teenagers. Happy couples aren’t afraid to show their affection for one in another – even in public. “Intimacy and touch keeps you connected with your partner,” says Hall. “It fosters a connectedness that supports a strong and happy relationship.” Don’t worry, you don’t need to have a full-on make-out session in front of your in-laws. But you can keep your love alive by holding hands at the mall or snuggling at the kids’ sports game. A little PDA goes a long way.</p> <p>“Just touching your partner will help you feel more connected, both physically, emotionally and intellectually,” says Spira. “Plus, it’s a great form of foreplay.” Not to mention that it shows that you’re vulnerable. “When vulnerability is shown and nurtured, then trust in your relationship has the ability to grow,” says Kristie Overstreet, a licensed professional clinical counsellor, certified sex therapist and author of <em>Fix Yourself First: 25 Tips to Stop Ruining Your Relationship</em>.</p> <p><strong>They check in with one another</strong></p> <p>You don’t have to speak on the phone or text 24/7, but couples in healthy relationships call or text – to show the dog’s latest mess, a funny street sign, or for no reason at all. “Checking in with one another boosts feelings of ardour and security,” Winston says. Dr Carle adds, “People who check in with one another during their busy days are letting their partner know they’re thinking of them, despite all the other things going on.”</p> <p><strong>They go to bed at the same time</strong></p> <p>“This doesn’t mean that you both have to fall asleep. But at least wind the night down and get into the bed at the same time,” says Overstreet. “This gives you the opportunity to close the day together, which is very important.” Research shows that 75 percent of couples don’t go to bed at the same time, usually because one person is surfing the web, working or watching TV.</p> <p>Happy couples do their best not to stay up late cleaning the kitchen or folding laundry while the other catches some shuteye. Save the chores for another time. “In my experience as a relationship therapist, couples that go to bed at the same time have a more trusting relationship than those who don’t,” says Overstreet. Bedtime is an opportunity to talk about the day ahead and maybe have a quickie before you hit the hay too.</p> <p><strong>They laugh together </strong></p> <p>Soccer is at 4pm; doctor’s appointment is at 5:30pm.; remember to pick up a pizza on the way home. It’s easy to get into the habit of talking only about the logistics of life and kids. Healthy couples make it a habit to laugh together – often. It keeps the joy and spirit alive in your relationship.</p> <p>A new paper from US professor Jeffrey Hall gives data-backed validity to something you may have figured for yourself: couples who laugh together, stay together. “Find a way to make each other laugh,” says Spira. “Whether it’s watching a funny television show together or doing some playful teasing, laughter and happiness go hand-in-hand.”</p> <p><strong>They share a hobby</strong></p> <p>Tennis anyone? How about writing music? Happy couples take up a hobby that they can do together. Even if they don’t have common interests, happy couples will develop them. Maybe they try new restaurants together or volunteer at the local soup kitchen side by side once a week. “By no means do you need to do everything together,” says Meads.</p> <p>“However, couples who stay together have fun doing some of the same things.” When couples see their relationship as full of fun, they’re more likely to be happier over the long term. “Adding your mutual hobby to your schedule gives you something to look forward to and a memory to look back upon,” says Spira. And living a stimulating life outside the bedroom will lead to a stimulating life inside it.</p> <p><strong>They ask for what they need</strong></p> <p>Happy couples ask for what they need and listen to each other’s requests. “Healthy relationships encourage people to be authentic in their feelings so they can genuinely express themselves,” says Dr Carle. You’re doomed if you just hope that your partner will be a mind reader and “just know” what you’re thinking.</p> <p>Happy couples openly talk about their needs and understand their differences. “When your significant other does something you like, tell him so,” says Winston. “This will give him a feeling of validation and he’ll continue to want to please you.”</p> <p><strong>They're a team </strong></p> <p>“With a team mentality, couples lift each other up and are stronger together,” says Hall. “They make sacrifices to benefit the long-term partnership.” They make decisions together – one person doesn’t call all the shots. It can be small issues like deciding what to watch on the TV to bigger issues like figuring out where you want to raise a family. “Knowing your partner has your back and vice versa is a great source of comfort in the game of love,” says Spira.</p> <p>You function as a unit and think in terms of “we” instead of “I.” Remember that you’re on the same team, says relationship expert Andrea Syrtash, author of<em> Cheat on Your Husband (with Your Husband)</em>. “It doesn’t make sense to have a winner and a loser in an argument,” Syrtash says. “You’re more likely to fight more fairly when you consider this.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p> <p><em>This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/11-daily-habits-of-couples-in-healthy-relationships?pages=1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>. </em></p>

Relationships

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"Creepy" reaction to Robert Irwin debuting his girlfriend on social media

<p>Robert Irwin finally made his relationship with Rorie Buckey Instagram official with a cute selfie shared to his four million followers. </p> <p>While many were supportive of the couple's budding romance, a few others couldn't hide their disappointment as their dreams of having their own fairytale romance with the conservationist were crushed. </p> <p>“You just broke the hearts of tens of thousands of young girls across the world. Congrats tho,”  commented one person. </p> <p>“Siri play that should be me by Justin Bieber,” commented another. </p> <p>"So this is what heartbreak and betrayal feels like," commented a third. </p> <p>"I don’t think I can ever recover from this," wrote fourth. </p> <p>"What if this was my last straw robert," wrote another. </p> <p>One fan even asked him: "HOW COULD U CHEAT ON ME !?😭"</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CwUpgBprVDf/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CwUpgBprVDf/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Robert Irwin (@robertirwinphotography)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>The post itself gained almost 400,000 likes in the first eight hours after it went live, and a few comments have called out the fans who were disappointed in the star. </p> <p>“Some of these comments are creepy as,” wrote one.</p> <p>“This comment section is disappointing remove yourself from whatever parasocial relationship you’ve constructed and treat people with kindness,” commented another. </p> <p>“As much as I do have a celebrity crush on Robert, I think everybody should be happy for him. His life,” wrote a third. </p> <p>"Why are these comments so creepy? If you cant be kind, just stop. They look happy, leave them be," added another. </p> <p>The couple were first spotted cuddling at a Queensland beach late last year, and made their first <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/beauty-style/robert-irwin-makes-red-carpet-debut-with-girlfriend" target="_blank" rel="noopener">red carpet debut </a>at Sydney's International Convention Centre last month. </p> <p>Buckley, who is late star Heath Ledger's niece, is currently living in Perth, so the young couple are currently making their relationship work long-distance. </p> <p><em>Image: Instagram</em></p>

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