Search

“Absolute agony”: Beauty therapist left housebound from steroid cream withdrawal

Beauty therapist and mother Karyn Flett said she has been “addicted” to steroid creams for over 40 years. In an attempt to ease her painful eczema, Flett revealed she had to wear a balaclava to contain her weeping skin. She began suffering from eczema patches on her face, hands and joints at age 11 and was prescribed topical steroid creams. Flett, 52, has used the medication for decades to soothe her itchy and inflamed skin, but she claims she decided to quit using it after experiencing sweats and rashes similar to menopause symptoms. The mum-of-three, from Fife, Scotland, said she was in “agony” when she went cold turkey and stopped using the medical cream in September 2022. She revealed she went into topical steroid withdrawal and developed a burning rash all over her body and experienced shakes and sweats. Flett was housebound for six months and unable to work due to her condition. She said water felt like acid on her skin and it was so itchy she felt like she could “tear herself to the bone”. The 52-year-old resorted to wearing a balaclava and full upper-body bandages for three months in order to keep her weeping skin from sticking to her pillow and sheets and to ease the pain of the relentless itching. She shared that at 45 she began to worry about one of the risks she knew of steroids - that they thin the skin. “I started thinking, ‘Right, I need to use these less’,” Flett said. “I was going into bouts of withdrawal and getting these severe symptoms, such as shakes and sweats. I had symptoms similar to menopause. “I went away in September and decided not to take my steroid cream, and went into full-blown withdrawal.” Flett explained she had a burning rash from her feet to her entire body. “My face was on fire, it was swollen. My eyes were really hard to open, they were swollen,” she said. ”I went off my food, and then I started going into full-blown shakes. “When I travelled home, my clothes stuck to my skin. “I blistered from my calf up to the back of my thigh and I could feel fluid running down my leg.” When she arrived home, her husband had to help her into the shower and she had to rip the clothing off her skin. “When I first got it, I couldn’t bathe all the time, it was just too painful. The water was like acid,” she said. “I’ve always been a mum who likes to do my hair, makeup, get my lashes done, nails and look my best on a night out. “That just left me. You lose all your self confidence, and you don’t know how you ever get back to the person you were.” Flett described the first four to six months of withdrawal as being the worst. “It’s been likened to being worse than a heroin addiction,” she said. “You get a deep, absolute bone itch with topical steroid withdrawal. “It’s absolute agony, you feel like you can tear yourself down to the bone.” Image credit: Facebook

Body

How to overcome the ‘Sunday scaries,’ according to a therapist

How to overcome your Sunday scaries According to an Australian Institute of Health and Welfare report, most Australians are working longer hours – spending more time on the job than on their household activities, caring for family, education, meals, personal care and leisure combined. If this grind sounds familiar, you probably don’t need scientific data to tell you how much Mondays can suck (though back in 2011, University of Vermont researchers used Twitter data to confirm indeed, we all hate. Mondays the most). In recent years, these Monday blues have crept into our off-the-clock hours, too: a phenomenon that’s increasingly coming to be known as the ‘Sunday scaries.’ Five reasons this ‘anticipatory anxiety’ happens “The Sunday scaries is an overwhelming feeling of dread and anxiety about going to work or school the next day,” says clinical psychologist, Dr Renée L. Goff. Depending on your schedule, this anxiety doesn’t necessarily have to hit on a Sunday, but whenever you’re spending what’s meant to be personal time stressing about upcoming work. And what do the Sunday scaries feel like? “Some people describe it as a heaviness they can feel in their body, while others feel so jittery they could jump out of their skin,” Dr Goff says. “You’re also very aware of the time ticking away and the freedom of your weekend coming to a close.” It’s also extremely common. Based on different polls, 75 to 80 per cent of people experience the Sunday scaries, says therapist Amanda Stemen. But just because it’s widespread doesn’t mean it’s not manageable. Here’s how experts say you can ease your Sunday anxiety. Structure your Sunday “Structure can be a best friend when [you’re] feeling the Sunday scaries,” says psychotherapist, Angela Ficken. “Instead of sitting on the couch and watching the clock, go do something that you enjoy.” You might still get whiffs of that sense of dread, but that feeling is harder to hold onto when you are engaging in something that makes you feel good, she says. Plus, research tells us that adding structure to our days can help give us a greater sense of control and improve mental health. That’s why it’s not just important to structure your Sundays, but to be consistent with it, Ficken says. Don’t forget to relax The Australian Government Department of Health data shows just how little time we have during the week to tend to non-work activities – but when you’re planning out your Sunday, try not to cram in too many errands and chores. If you’re feeling more stress in general, it’s important to make space for relaxing activities in your Sunday plan to ground yourself, says marriage and family therapist Naiylah Warren. And there’s no right way to relax. “Maybe a body scan meditation, maybe a mid-afternoon shower or bath, maybe an engaging movie or show,” Warren says. “[Whatever] feels like a helpful distraction to reground from the scaries.” Pinpoint anxiety sources behind the Sunday scaries Anxiety is a normal human experience, and one of the main ways to manage it is to identify your personal triggers. “Try to pinpoint what is really causing you to dread the week,” Dr Goff says. “Is it a deadline, meeting or presentation?” Even if there’s not a sole reason behind your Sunday anxiety, organising the stress you expect from the week ahead into bite-size chunks can help make it all more manageable. “Create multiple to-do lists,” Dr Goff recommends. One list for tasks that need to be completed immediately, another for tasks that are less urgent, and a final list for tasks that you’d like to complete at some point. “Seeing these can help put into perspective what is important and what you can let go of for now,” she says. “This can help decrease the anticipation of the stress and dread of the week.” Create some excitement for the week ahead Getting rid of the Sunday scaries isn’t just about tempering the doom-and-gloom of the week ahead, either. “Having something to look forward to also gives you something to think about that’s pleasing rather than only focusing on the dread you feel,” Ficken says. It’s a form of reframing your thoughts: instead of focusing on the awful things you expect from the week, build excitement over a coffee or lunch date with a friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with. “This gives you the opportunity to shift your thoughts to something fun and will help improve your mood.” End your Sunday with the right energy Whether you want glowing skin, a sounder sleep or a mental health boost, a great nighttime routine can come with major health benefits. But if you suffer from the Sunday scaries, you may want to build a special routine for these more anxiety-ridden evenings, Warren says. “This is an opportunity to give yourself proper wind-down time – maybe you want to journal, do a face mask, read a few pages of your book – allow yourself to decompress so you can feel empowered and confident you’ll be ready for the next day,” she says. And do your best to honour this “you” time. That means, when possible, make Sunday night about your self-care – and leave the work emails for Monday morning. Written by Leslie Finlay. This article first appeared in <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/healthsmart/conditions/mental-health/how-to-overcome-the-sunday-scaries-according-to-a-therapist" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRA87V" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here’s our best subscription offer.</a> Image: Getty Images

Mind

How to use the 5 love languages, according to therapists

Your love language isn’t English, Italian, German, Portuguese, or any other verbal language you can learn in school. The term refers to the ways in which people give and receive love in their lives. Although this includes romantic love, it may also affect how we prefer to give and receive love in friendships and other relationships too. They can also shed light on your personal habits or behaviour that might not seem to be linked to love languages or relationships at all. For example, a viral TikTok pointed out that your love language could be linked to self-destructive habits. If your preferred love language is words of affirmation, you might be prone to negative self-talk, or if your love language is gifts, you may tend to over-spend. That’s just one of the many ways people might use love languages to learn more about relationships and their own mental health. Not sure what your love language is? Here’s what you need to know about the five love languages, including love language examples, how to determine yours, and other insights and relationship advice from therapists. The history of the five love languages The love language concept comes from the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, which was first published in 1992. In it, he describes the most common ways that people communicate love, based on his experience in marriage counselling and linguistics. Everyone has a different idea of how to express love to those around them, explains Sanam Hafeez, a neuropsychologist. The trick is avoiding language barriers when your love language differs from that of your partner, family, or friend. Couples need to find balance and harmony given their respective styles and differences to make sure they speak the language of love, says Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist and author of several books, including What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. What are the five love languages? Acts of service “Some of us prefer to express our appreciation through various acts of service, like running errands for our partners,” Hafeez says. This love language essentially refers to the things loved ones do for each other to make their lives easier. Gifts Giving or receiving gifts is a somewhat straightforward love language. People value the thought and effort that goes into the gift-giving process. “People who speak this language cherish the gift and the time and thought put into the gift,” Hafeez adds. Physical touch Physical signs of affection, like hugging, kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and having sex, are ways to connect and communicate appreciation for those who prefer this love language. “The love language physical touch includes those who require physical attention to express and know that they are loved,” Hafeez says. Quality time Those who identify with this love language prioritize spending attentive time with their partner or loved one. People who rely on quality time to express their passion need undivided attention from their loved ones instead of a simple “I love you,” according to Hafeez. Speaking this love language may look like identifying a favourite activity to do together, acknowledging it, and doing it together. Words of affirmation People who prefer this love language value verbal and/or written communication and acknowledgment. Those who speak this language prefer to express and receive their love through spoken words, rather than just spending time together, per Hafeez. What is my love language? Determining your love language requires looking at how you prefer to express and receive love. Hafeez notes that you can identify with more than one. “Not everyone has just one way that they like to show their appreciation,” she says. “It’s common to have a combination of the five.” Paul Hokemeyer, a clinical and consulting psychotherapist and author of Fragile Power: Why Having Everything Is Never Enough adds that not only is it possible to have more than one love language, but it’s also beneficial. “Humans are dynamic and multidimensional. We change and grow over time,” he says. “As such, we need to be able to communicate in a host of languages. The ability to do so opens up our lives and our hearts and enables us to have rich and meaningful lives.” And, no, one language isn’t “better” than another. “I think to make a judgment over which is better or not is to ultimately limit the way love is conveyed, shared, and expressed,” Greer says. The pros of love languages Hafeez says that knowing each other’s love languages can be very helpful for both parties while in a relationship. Hokemeyer agrees, saying the concept of love languages is brilliant. Here’s how they may help: Deepen understanding Rather than question whether you’re meeting your partner’s needs, discuss love languages to get a deep understanding of what they need, recommends Hafeez. “Knowing how to communicate and express your love eliminates miscommunication in the relationship,” she says. Greer adds that another benefit is that love languages help your partner appreciate what’s important to you, what you consider loving, and what you appreciate. Improve communication People can form better relationships with more communication if they know how to express and receive love, according to Hafeez. For example, if someone knows they need words of affirmation to feel loved, they can communicate that to their partner, making the relationship much healthier. Simplify love Love languages give people a concrete way to think about how to give and receive love in a meaningful way, according to Hokemeyer. “They provide us with language to talk about what can be a very abstract feeling,” he says. This helps people manage the raft of consuming negative feelings when we intuitively know the relationship isn’t right. Build the relationship Romantic relationships require reciprocation to be meaningful and enduring, Hokemeyer says. That means that there must be an emotional and physical give and take. “Love languages enable people to figure out what they want to take and what they need to give,” he says. “They are helpful in that they provide a starting point from which couples can learn about their partner and themselves.” For this reason, it’s important to look at them as an art form that you are constantly practising and striving to improve, Hokemeyer says. The cons of love languages A 2017 study in the journal Personal Relationships looked at whether couples with aligned love languages experience more relationship satisfaction. The researchers looked at 67 couples and found that neither sharing the same love language nor knowledge of a partner’s primary love language corresponds with higher relationship satisfaction. So although the experts see value in this concept, there are limits to the benefits. It can be narrow-minded Hafeez says that, in some cases, love languages can hurt a relationship. “If all the focus is put on speaking in your partner’s love language, you can sometimes forget to listen to what they are saying,” she says. In addition, love languages can change throughout a relationship, so just sticking to one love language can eventually become irritating, according to Hafeez. That’s a real downside, according to Hokemeyer, who says identifying your love language may cause you to see it as fixed and exclusive. “The truth of the matter is that most people are bilingual – they can enjoy multiple love languages,” he says. It’s key to remember these languages are dynamic. They can change throughout life as people mature and come to value different aspects of love and romance. It could cause competition Another problem: love languages can create an issue of “who does more” overall for the relationship. For example, one person can feel as if they are speaking their partner’s love language all the time, but maybe their partner isn’t stepping up to the plate, Hafeez explains. “This can create a sort of score-keeping attitude and create ongoing issues, such as feeling like one person loves more in a relationship or that the relationship is unequal,” she says. The discussion may be misread Another con that could come out of discussing love languages is that sometimes, when you tell your partner what you like, want, or need, they can translate it as a demand. They may misinterpret it as a control tactic, Greer explains. It's not a cure-all It’s important to remember that knowing each other’s love language will not cure all your relationship troubles, Hafeez notes. Image credit: Shutterstock This article first appeared in <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/how-to-use-the-5-love-languages-according-to-therapists" target="_blank">Reader's Digest</a>.

Relationships

Woman goes viral for sharing therapist’s simple tip to fall asleep

One woman has shared this simple yet effective tip to combatting your insomnia. Emily Bronchu took to TikTok to reveal her therapist’s trick to help you sleep better. “So a therapist gave me this trick for when you can’t sleep, I’m gonna share it with you for free cause I paid for the information,” she said. “So I was laying in bed and I can’t sleep. I put on my Sleep Stories, I went to bed at a normal time, I just couldn’t sleep. I was tossing and turning, tossing and turning, tossing and turning.” Emily says the key to fixing this is setting a “time limit”. “If you’re not sleeping within 20 minutes, get up and write down everything that you’re thinking about and do it until you’re tired and then go back to sleep. And it works,” she said. “The reason it’s important to get out of bed is that if you stay in bed your brain will eventually connect with ‘I’m supposed to be awake when I am here.’ You don’t want that connection to make you stay up super late, and when you go to bed you’re gonna be tired.” The post racked up over 98,000 likes and a number of comments from people sharing this trick had worked for them. Hundreds of people commenting on the clip, with many saying it had worked for them too. One person wrote, “I do something similar when I can’t sleep bc of stress. I get up and write down every single thing I’m stressed about, gets them out of my brain.” Another added, “I’ve recently been writing down all my thoughts in my journal before I go to bed and it helps me clear my mind so that I’m not thinking about every possibility.”

Caring

Want to see a therapist but don’t know where to start? Here’s how to get a mental health plan

Last week, the Australian government announced it will provide <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/ministers/the-hon-greg-hunt-mp/media/additional-covid-19-mental-health-support">ten extra</a> Medicare-subsidised psychological therapy sessions for Australians in lockdown areas due to COVID-19. In such a stressful time, many people are <a href="https://theconversation.com/coronavirus-is-stressful-here-are-some-ways-to-cope-with-the-anxiety-133146">experiencing poorer mental health</a>, and some need additional support. However, our mental health system is <a href="https://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Committees/Senate/Former_Committees/mentalhealth/report/c02">complex and fragmented</a>, so it can be challenging to find the care you need. Here’s how to start seeing a therapist if you never have before. What is a mental health treatment plan? Under Medicare, you can already <a href="https://gpmhsc.org.au/info/detail/5d8b726e-e985-45ea-8bc5-00d1ec3cc5ca/mental-health-and-how-your-gp-can-help">access ten subsidised sessions</a> per calendar year with a registered psychologist, social worker or occupational therapist. Twenty sessions are now subsidised “for anybody who has used their initial ten services in a lockdown area under a public health order,” <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/ministers/the-hon-greg-hunt-mp/media/doorstop-interview-in-melbourne-on-2-august-2020">said</a> Federal Health Minister Greg Hunt. Currently this includes all of Victoria. But to get access to these sessions, first you need to get a <a href="https://www1.health.gov.au/internet/main/publishing.nsf/Content/betteraccess_factsheet_for_patients">mental health treatment plan</a> from your GP. This involves an assessment of your physical and mental health, and a discussion of your particular needs. The GP then helps you decide what services you need. All GPs who write mental health treatment plans have undergone <a href="https://theconversation.com/your-first-point-of-contact-and-your-partner-in-recovery-the-gps-role-in-mental-health-care-124083">additional training in mental health</a>. There are also plenty of <a href="https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/2-findingamentalhealthfriendlydoctor.pdf">GPs with further interest and expertise</a> in this area. It can be helpful to ask for recommendations from friends and family if you are unsure who to see. Physical and mental health issues <a href="https://nswmentalhealthcommission.com.au/sites/default/files/publication-documents/Physical%20health%20and%20wellbeing%20-%20final%208%20Apr%202016%20WEB.pdf">frequently overlap</a>, so a visit to a GP is an opportunity to assess any physical issues that may impact mental health as well. The GP should explore a person’s strengths and vulnerabilities, before agreeing on a plan for care. Generally, this process takes 30-40 minutes, so it’s important to book a longer consultation with your doctor. At the end of this consultation, you can have a copy of the plan, and it’s also sent to the therapist of your choice. Once the mental health plan is billed to Medicare, you can get subsidised sessions with your preferred therapist. You will need to make the appointment with the therapist, but GPs or practice nurses will often help make this appointment for patients who are feeling too unwell to manage this phone call. Using telehealth Telehealth enables you to get care from your GP by phone or video. The Medicare requirements of telehealth are changing rapidly, so check when you make your appointment to see if telehealth is available and to make sure you will be eligible for a Medicare rebate for this consultation. At the moment, <a href="http://www.mbsonline.gov.au/internet/mbsonline/publishing.nsf/Content/Factsheet-TempBB">to get a Medicare rebate for telehealth</a>, you must have seen the GP in their practice face-to-face at some point in the past 12 months. But this requirement doesn’t apply to: <ul> <li>children under 12 months</li> <li>people who are homeless</li> <li>patients living in a COVID-19 impacted area</li> <li>patients receiving an urgent after-hours service</li> <li>patients of medical practitioners at an Aboriginal Medical Service or an Aboriginal Community Controlled Health Service.</li> </ul> So if you live under the Victorian lockdowns, you can get a mental health care plan via telehealth, even if you have not seen the GP before. Once you’ve got your care plan, you can do the therapy sessions via telehealth too. And you can now <a href="http://www.mbsonline.gov.au/internet/mbsonline/publishing.nsf/Content/Factsheet-TempBB">claim them under Medicare</a> (though this wasn’t the case before COVID-19). Choosing a therapist Your GP can help you choose a therapist, but it’s important to think about what you need from a psychologist. Psychological care can range from coaching when life is particularly challenging, to deep and complex work helping people manage mental health disorders or trauma. Also consider the sort of person you prefer to see. Some people prefer practitioners from a particular cultural group, gender or location. You may have a preference for a very structured, problem-solving style, or you may want someone with a more conversational style. You may also have a preference for the type of therapy you need. If your GP can’t recommend someone appropriate, or if you are having trouble finding someone who is available to meet your needs, the Australian Psychological Society has a <a href="https://www.psychology.org.au/Find-a-Psychologist">searchable database of therapists</a>. Psychologists, occupational therapists and social workers must be registered under Medicare to provide these services, so it’s important to check this with the receptionist when you make your appointment. The Medicare rebate varies according to the qualifications of the practitioner, and a psychologist’s fees may be well above the rebate, so clarify your expected out-of-pocket expenses when you make an initial appointment. A clinical psychologist has additional training, and will give you a rebate of around $128, whereas a general psychologist has a rebate of around $86. Remember that a psychologist may charge well above the rebate, so you may be out of pocket anywhere from nothing to over $200. If you decide seeing a therapist under a mental health plan is not the right option for you, there are some alternatives. Some non-government organisations, like <a href="https://headspace.org.au/">Headspace</a>, provide counselling services through Medicare for no additional cost, as do some <a href="https://www.psychology.org.au/for-the-public/about-psychology/What-does-a-psychologist-do/Psychologists-in-schools">schools</a>. Some workplaces also have psychological options like the <a href="https://www.eapaa.org.au/site/">Employee Assistance Program</a>. Some people benefit from <a href="https://theconversation.com/5-ways-to-get-mental-health-help-without-having-to-talk-on-the-phone-143491">online programs</a> that teach psychological techniques. <a href="https://headtohealth.gov.au/">Head to Health</a> also provides a searchable database of evidence-based sites to explore. Most are free or very low cost. If you are very unwell, local mental health services attached to public hospitals can provide crisis support and referral. These are difficult times. It’s important to at least discuss your situation with someone you trust if you’re having difficulty sleeping, your mood is affecting you or your family, or you’re having frightening or worrying thoughts. Your GP is a good, confidential first port of call. If you or someone you know needs assistance, contact Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800, Lifeline on 13 11 14, or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. Written by Louise Stone. Republished with permission of <a href="https://theconversation.com/want-to-see-a-therapist-but-dont-know-where-to-start-heres-how-to-get-a-mental-health-plan-143990">The Conversation.</a>

Retirement Life

Music therapist creates playlist to calm the mind

It may seem like we are living in an age of anxiety, where feeling worried, upset and stressed has become the norm. But we should remember that anxiety is a <a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/anxiety-and-panic-attacks/about-anxiety/#.Xc6FEi10fq1">natural human response</a> to situations. It comes when we are not sure what is going to happen, or when we feel under threat. And even mild anxiety can have a negative effect on our ability to lead a productive life. It can interfere with being able to enjoy the simple things in life. When we experience anxiety, our heart and breathing rates increase and many other systems in our bodies <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/anxiety/effects-on-body#1">experience overload</a>. Anxiety affects our general physical health as well as our emotions. In my work as a music therapist, I’ve noticed the impact music can have on anxiety. For example, in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIdtMOd8k8A">guided imagery sessions</a>, the therapist uses specially selected music and the client is invited to describe what they are feeling and what images the music conjures up. It’s amazing what insights can be gained from simply allowing yourself time to listen and talk about what you see in your mind’s eye. These may be as simple as becoming more aware of how music can affect emotions, or be used to explore past experiences or future dilemmas. It can also be used to find a place of comfort and a secure base where <a href="https://academic.oup.com/jmt/article-abstract/36/1/39/914646?redirectedFrom=fulltext">physical and emotional balance</a> can be found. A <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/relaxing-song-best-weightless-marconi-union-youtube-surgery-anxiety-a9011971.html">recent experiment</a> explored whether certain kinds of music can reduce anxiety during a complex task and concluded that some music is better at doing this than others. <a href="http://theconversation.com/surprising-ways-to-beat-anxiety-and-become-mentally-strong-according-to-science-77978"></a>Also, <a href="https://academic.oup.com/jmt/article-abstract/48/3/264/1002764?redirectedFrom=PDF">a study</a> based on measuring physiological and emotional responses suggests there are certain qualities in music that are better at helping people relax. The speed of the music should be relatively slow, the melody should be simple, and the beat and harmony should not hold too many surprises. Other factors, such as the complexity of the music and – surprisingly – familiarity with the piece, were not so important. In fact, knowing a piece too well was found in some cases to be counterproductive. The genres most likely to support relaxation are classical, soft pop and certain types of world music. These are found to largely contain the musical elements necessary to help a person relax. Press play With these musical elements in mind, here are eight suggested pieces of music that meet these criteria: 1 <a href="https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/ambient-1-music-for-airports-184712/">Ambient 1: Music For Airports</a> by Brian Eno. This soundscape provides a wash of musical effects that echo the rhythm of our physiological functions, leaving space for us to attune to the slow tempo of the music. The album is described in <a href="https://www.roughtrade.com/gb/brian-eno/ambient-1-music-for-airports">one review</a> as “the kind of music one might hear in heaven”. <div class="embed-responsive embed-responsive-16by9"><iframe class="embed-responsive-item" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vNwYtllyt3Q"></iframe></div> 2 Pieds-en-L'Air, from <a href="https://arielmusic.co.uk/product/capriol-suite/">Capriol Suite</a>, by Peter Warlock, a composer and former music critic. Known for his unconventional lifestyle, he died in 1930, aged 36. His musical legacy includes this soft and slow classical piece with a melody reminiscent of songs we may have heard as children. <div class="embed-responsive embed-responsive-16by9"><iframe class="embed-responsive-item" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ZMyS1G8NWnY"></iframe></div> 3 <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/56FjSa3QWnDE6CxjFTp9rH">Om Namah Shivaya</a> by Deva Premal. The vocals of Premal and supporting music made by her partner Mital hark back to evocative chants from times past. The slow pace and almost hypnotic music combined with her clear vocals feel very supportive. <div class="embed-responsive embed-responsive-16by9"><iframe class="embed-responsive-item" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/eUqe31ojZBU"></iframe> 4 <a href="https://www.smoothradio.com/features/adele-someone-like-you-lyrics-meaning-facts/">Someone Like You</a> by Adele. While this hugely successful song explores the issue of loss, the slow tempo and cool accompaniment is found by many to offer a sense of calm and reflection. It has <a href="https://slate.com/culture/2012/02/someone-like-you-makes-us-cry-scientists-explain-why.html">been claimed</a> that the piece’s emotional strength is due to small, unexpected changes in the melody or “ornamental notes”, which create a melancholic tension. <div class="embed-responsive embed-responsive-16by9"><iframe class="embed-responsive-item" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/hLQl3WQQoQ0"></iframe></div> 5 <a href="https://www.classicfm.com/composers/einaudi/music/i-giorni/">I Giorni</a>, by Ludovico Einaudi, an Italian pianist and composer who has written numerous film soundtracks. This piano piece, with its repetitive motifs and steady tempo, evokes a dreamlike state with moments of light and brightness. <div class="embed-responsive embed-responsive-16by9"><iframe class="embed-responsive-item" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Uffjii1hXzU"></iframe></div> 6 <a href="https://global.oup.com/academic/product/in-paradisum-9780193418042?cc=gb&lang=en&">In Paradisum</a>, by Gabriel Fauré, a French composer who gained great popularity in his lifetime, but suffered from deafness in his later years. In this piece, from his Requiem, the choir and organ accompaniment provide a feeling of serenity. <div class="embed-responsive embed-responsive-16by9"><iframe class="embed-responsive-item" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6-i1ESIRKdA"></iframe></div> 7 <a href="https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&q=Stopover+at+Djibouti&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8">Stopover at Djibouti</a> by Anouar Ibrahem, a Tunisian oud player and composer. He is widely acclaimed as an innovator in his field, fusing Arab classical music, folk music and jazz. This world jazz piece has hypnotic motifs that can seem almost meditative. <div class="embed-responsive embed-responsive-16by9"><iframe class="embed-responsive-item" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/c2S8LpvZrnQ"></iframe></div> 8 <a href="https://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en&ei=hq7OXekQpYbV8A_vxaUw&q=stefan+nilsson+composer+wilmas+tema&oq=stefan+nilsson+composer+wilm&gs_l=psy-ab.3.0.33i22i29i30.2182.3289..4456...0.0..0.99.402.5......0....1..gws-wiz.......0i22i30.I3sNgC11uJY">Wilma’s Theme</a> by Stefan Nilsson, a Swedish composer and pianist who is well known in is home country. This piece, which seems somehow familiar, has a simple melody and harmonies that provide a safe landing place. <div class="embed-responsive embed-responsive-16by9"><iframe class="embed-responsive-item" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/ytBW9x6Zvcc"></iframe></div> This list offers some suggestions of music that could be used to help people relax. A favourite of mine, which I haven’t included, is the slow movement from JS Bach’s Double Violin Concerto. It never fails to give me a sense of feeling safe and grounded, something that can be so important when we may be feeling anxious. It should be said, though, that many <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0218017">studies</a> emphasise the importance of finding your own selection of music that works for you. Whatever your musical taste is, you have the edge on any prescribed playlist in finding what is best for you.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/121655/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/elizabeth-coombes-754445">Elizabeth Coombes</a>, Senior Lecturer in Music Therapy, <a href="http://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-south-wales-1586">University of South Wales</a> This article is republished from <a href="http://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/anxiety-a-playlist-to-calm-the-mind-from-a-music-therapist-121655">original article</a>. </div>

Music

Couples therapist: “Things are in decline” for Donald and Melania Trump

On Monday January 22, it was Donald and Melania Trump’s 13th wedding anniversary. Many are wondering if the high-profile couple celebrated the occasion together as there was no mention of it on social media, which could be partly attributed to the government shutdown. However, when it was revealed by Melania’s communications director that she had also cancelled plans to join her husband on a trip to Switzerland, it set off many whispers. Melania’s communications director, Stephanie Grisham, told PEOPLE that the first lady cancelled the trip due to “too many scheduling and logistical issues”. <a href="https://au.be.yahoo.com/lifestyle/a/38703228/couples-therapist-melania-and-donald-trumps-marriage-in-trouble/" target="_blank">Yahoo Lifestyle</a> spoke to licensed therapist and co-author of The New I Do Susan Pease Gadoua to find out if there was more at play here. “If your relationship is strong, then it would be more able to handle if you can’t spend the actual anniversary together,” she said. “If the relationship is on shaky ground, then it could be really bad that they’re not spending that time together. It could be a real indication that things are in decline.” Anniversaries are significant for couples as they create the opportunity to not only celebrate but also reflect on how they’re doing. On Saturday, the first lady marked her first year in the White House by posting a photo of herself with a military escort during the inauguration, with no mention of her husband. <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 658px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media"> <div style="padding: 8px;"> <div style="background: #F8F8F8; line-height: 0; margin-top: 40px; padding: 50.0% 0; text-align: center; width: 100%;"> <div style="background: url(data:image/png; base64,ivborw0kggoaaaansuheugaaacwaaaascamaaaapwqozaaaabgdbtueaalgpc/xhbqaaaafzukdcak7ohokaaaamuexurczmzpf399fx1+bm5mzy9amaaadisurbvdjlvzxbesmgces5/p8/t9furvcrmu73jwlzosgsiizurcjo/ad+eqjjb4hv8bft+idpqocx1wjosbfhh2xssxeiyn3uli/6mnree07uiwjev8ueowds88ly97kqytlijkktuybbruayvh5wohixmpi5we58ek028czwyuqdlkpg1bkb4nnm+veanfhqn1k4+gpt6ugqcvu2h2ovuif/gwufyy8owepdyzsa3avcqpvovvzzz2vtnn2wu8qzvjddeto90gsy9mvlqtgysy231mxry6i2ggqjrty0l8fxcxfcbbhwrsyyaaaaaelftksuqmcc); display: block; height: 44px; margin: 0 auto -44px; position: relative; top: -22px; width: 44px;"></div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BeLXifjlhTd/" target="_blank">A post shared by First Lady Melania Trump (@flotus)</a> on Jan 20, 2018 at 8:15am PST </div> </blockquote> “Certainly the public is watching, and I think what we’ve seen so far is that this is not the most loving relationship on the planet,” Susan says. “They spend very little time together. If you compare them to the Obamas, it certainly doesn’t look like things are going well for them as a couple.”

News

5 ways therapists deal with bad days

We all have those days where, for no particular reason, we’re in a foul mood. Those days where everything seems to go wrong and even the smallest annoyance can send you into a full-on, toddler-esque tantrum. But those days aren’t exclusive to us regular folk – they happen to therapists, too. For us, it may take a lazy day on the couch (and maybe a tub of ice cream) to perk up, but what do psychologists do when they’re having a bad day? Let’s find out. 1. Laugh It turns out laughter really is the best medicine! “Humour is my favourite tool in the area of self-care,” LiveHealth Online clinical therapist, Dr Zereana Jess-Huff, tells <a href="http://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/therapists-deal-with-depression/" target="_blank">Women’s Health</a>. So whip out your favourite funny movie, watch some stand-up on Netflix or hang out with your witty friend – anything that gets you giggling! 2. Move Distract yourself and shake off those bad vibes with a brisk walk, bike ride or anything else that gets the blood pumping. “If I have a particularly hard day at work or am worrying a lot about my patient, I might do some vigorous exercise,” Dr Jennifer Gentile from Boston Children’s Hospital explains. 3. Create Art, music, dance, colouring… if it involves creativity, it’s a great way to channel your emotions into something productive. Studies show that flexing your creative muscles will actually <a href="http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/how-being-more-creative-improves-your-mental-and-physical-health.html" target="_blank">improve your mental health</a>, and you’ll have <a href="http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/how-good-mood-boosts-creativity?_ga=2.74805522.1232175733.1500503249-2010762590.1488497143" target="_blank">more control</a> over the directions your thoughts take and the decisions you make. 4. Socialise Exposing your grumpy mood to your nearest and dearest might be the last thing you want to do, but experts agree that spending time with friends (whether on the phone or in person) has major mental health benefits. Simply chatting with them can reduce your blood pressure and help the stress melt away. 5. Eat When we’re in a bad mood, we tend to look for instant gratification. Often, this comes in the form of food – namely, sugar. However, sugar will only provide fleeting relief – instead, stick to whole foods and low-GI fruits like apples and berries. Don’t forget to drink plenty of water and avoid any caffeine – too much coffee when you’re feeling down or stressed will only make the situation worse. What’s your secret to beating a bad mood? Share your tips with us in the comments below.

Mind

What a 100-year-old sex therapist thinks is wrong with sex today

Meet Dr Shirley Zussman, a 100-year-old sex therapist. She’s still practising in New York City, although the bedroom-related issues have changed dramatically from when she first started in the sixties. In a video by Time Magazine, Zussman reflects on the changing times and her views on what are the problems with sex today. She tells Time, “The biggest problem now is a lack of desire. And I’m shocked at the lack of connection between people because of iPhones - even though I love my iPhone! There is so much less of actual physical connection.” “You have to look at your priorities. We need touching to make us feel wanted and loved. That’s lacking so much in this generation. Lack of looking, lack of touching, lack of smiling. I don’t get it. I don’t get how people aren’t missing that, and don’t seem to think they are,” she adds. Watch the video above for more fascinating insights. Source: Time Related links: <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/relationships/2016/01/science-behind-couples-who-die-together/">There’s a science behind couple that die close together</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/relationships/2016/01/highs-and-lows-of-being-single/">The highs and lows of singledom</a> <a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/lifestyle/relationships/2016/01/secret-of-happy-couples/">7 things all happy couples do</a>

Relationships

Our Partners

Over 60

News

Shop

Catalogues

Contests

Entertainment

Travel

Health

Lifestyle

Finance

Property

Games

Information

Keep up to date