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The traumatic moment that triggered Andrew O'Keefe's downward spiral

<p>As Andrew O'Keefe continues his public battle with drug addiction and charges of assault, <a href="https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13863269/andrew-okeefe.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Daily Mail Australia</em></a> has revealed the traumatic experience that triggered his downward spiral. </p> <p>According to the publication, the TV presenter's self-destructive behaviour began barely 72 hours after his "deeply devout" father died. </p> <p>Channel Seven colleagues of O'Keefe's were shocked when he embarked on a brazen, drug-fuelled bender at the Logie Awards in 2014 just a few days after his dad's passing. </p> <p><em>Daily Mail Australia</em>, who claim the Logies incident is well-known in the industry, marked the start of the concerning behaviour that eventually ended the former Seven star's career, marriage and relationship with his children.</p> <p>Close friends fear O'Keefe - affectionately known as AOK among friends - has now descended so far into "the grip of an addiction he can't beat", he would be better off behind bars for his own safety. </p> <p>One concerned colleague, who worked alongside O'Keefe for more than a decade at Seven, said O'Keefe had confided that he harboured a deep-seated resentment against his father right up to his dying days, revealing to his friend that him he endured a "traumatic childhood" and blamed his strict Supreme Court judge dad for failing to support him.</p> <p>"AOK told me he had a really f***ed-up childhood," the colleague told <em>Daily Mail Australia</em>.</p> <p>"A lot of his trauma relates to the emotional abuse inflicted by his father - there was never anything physical - but he absolutely ignored the pain Andrew was going through."</p> <p>"From what he told me, his dad was this deranged Mel Gibson-type religious zealot and he would hold his own private Catholic masses in their home. He never forgave him for neglecting him in his time of need and never learned how to properly deal with all that pent-up rage."</p> <p>"Now he's in the grip of an addiction he can't beat, and he's pouring through the money he made [while at Seven] and what he got from the sale of his properties.  He's cut many of us out of his life and surrounded himself with a new circle of friends who are happy to get high with him, supply him with drugs and bleed him dry."</p> <p>"It's f***ing tragic - maybe going to jail will be the best thing for him, I don't know - we're all just really worried about him and how this will all end."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Channel Seven </em></p>

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"I was terrified": Law & Order star reveals traumatic past

<p><em>Warning: This story contains graphic content.</em></p> <p>Mariska Hargitay, who plays Olivia Benson, a character that investigate rapists on <em>Law &amp; Order: Special Victims Unit, </em>has revealed that she too is a victim of sexual assault. </p> <p>The actress opened up about her traumatic past in a powerful essay written for <a href="https://people.com/mariska-hargitay-experience-rape-renewal-reckoning-8424247" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>People Magazine</em></a>, where she revealed that she was raped by “a friend" when she was in her thirties. </p> <p>"A man raped me in my thirties," she bravely revealed in the essay. </p> <p>"It wasn’t sexual at all. It was dominance and control. Overpowering control."</p> <p>The actress revealed that he was a friend who "made a unilateral decision" and recalled the fear she felt when the incident occurred. </p> <p>"He grabbed me by the arms and held me down. I was terrified," she said. </p> <p>"I didn’t want it to escalate to violence. I now know it was already sexual violence, but I was afraid he would become physically violent.</p> <p>"I went into freeze mode, a common trauma response when there is no option to escape. I checked out of my body," she recalled. </p> <p>Hargitay, who is the daughter of the late actress Jane Mansfield, said that she never thought of herself as a "survivor", and often "minimised" what happened to her when she talked about it with others. </p> <p>"My husband Peter remembers me saying, “I mean, it wasn’t rape," she wrote. </p> <p>"Then things started shifting in me, and I began talking about it more in earnest with those closest to me. They were the first ones to call it what it was."</p> <p>The actress said that she wants other survivors to feel "no shame" about sexual assault and wants "this violence to end." </p> <p>She added that justice "may look different for each survivor," but for her she wants "an acknowledgment and an apology" after what happened. </p> <p>"This is a painful part of my story. The experience was horrible. But it doesn’t come close to defining me, in the same way that no other single part of my story defines me," she concluded, adding that she feels for all sexual violence survivors. </p> <p>"I’m turning 60, and I’m so deeply grateful for where I am. I’m renewed and I’m flooded with compassion for all of us who have suffered. And I’m still proudly in process."</p> <p>Hargitay started her own foundation, the Joyful Heart Foundation, in 2004 to help survivors of sexual assault. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

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King Wally Lewis' devastating diagnosis

<p>Rugby league legend Wally Lewis, known as "The King" for his tough football persona, has made a heartbreaking revelation about his health.</p> <p>In an exclusive interview with <em>60 Minutes</em>, the 63-year-old Queenslander disclosed that he has been diagnosed with probable chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE.</p> <p>Despite his physical fitness, Lewis is experiencing the distressing effects of this progressive and fatal condition, which can be caused by repeated blows to the head. CTE leads to memory loss, behavioural issues, and a decline in basic cognitive skills. Fans who still follow Lewis' work as a beloved media personality and sports commentator were shocked by this news.</p> <p>“For a lot of the sport guys, I think a lot of us take on this belief that we’ve got to prove how tough we are. How rugged," Lewis said on the program. "And if we put our hands up and seek sympathy, then we're going to be seen as the real cowards of the game. But we’ve got to take it on and admit that the problems are there.”</p> <p>Throughout his illustrious rugby league career spanning three decades, Lewis captained Australia and inspired Queensland, winning a record eight man of the match awards in his State of Origin career. He later transitioned to a successful career in sports commentary. However, in 2006, Lewis suffered an epileptic seizure during a live broadcast, leading to brain surgery in 2007 to control the seizures.</p> <p>The evidence of Lewis' brain deterioration is evident in his scans compared to those of a healthy brain. Leading neurologist Dr. Rowena Mobbs, who has observed an increasing number of former players suffering from CTE, believes Lewis' symptoms align with the condition.</p> <p>"It's devastating," Mobbs said on the program. "It's hard to see these players go through it. The last thing I want to do is diagnose them with dementia."</p> <p>While definitive diagnosis can only occur through a brain autopsy after death, Mobbs is 90% certain about Lewis' condition based on her expertise.</p> <p>Although some former players are contemplating legal action and compensation claims against the NRL and AFL, Lewis has decided against such measures. He remains grateful for the game he loved and the opportunity to have played it.</p> <p>“I loved the game that I played," he said. "I felt privileged to have played it, and to have been given that chance. When you go out there and you’re wearing the representative jerseys, particularly the one for Australia, you feel ten feet tall and bulletproof. Well, you might think you are. But you’re not.”</p> <p>Lewis plans to leave a legacy beyond the football field by donating his brain for research to create awareness of CTE. He emphasises that his intention is not to seek sympathy but rather support for those affected by the disease.</p> <p>In response to Lewis' revelation, Dementia Australia offers support, information, education, and counselling for those dealing with similar challenges.</p> <p>The NRL has taken steps to address head injuries and concussions, implementing comprehensive head-injury policies and procedures in alignment with world's best practices. The league actively invests in the Retired Professional Rugby League Players Brain Health Study to assess and monitor the health of retired players.</p> <p>Wally Lewis' bravery in sharing his story aims to shed light on the impact of CTE on athletes and underscores the importance of advancing research and support for those facing similar health struggles.</p> <p><em>Images: 60 Minutes.</em></p>

Mind

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"It was traumatic": Nat Barr's terrifying health scare

<p>Natalie Barr has opened up about a terrifying health ordeal that left her wondering if she would ever walk again. </p> <p>The <em>Sunrise</em> host shared that she spent two months lying in a hospital bed when she was just 15, after being diagnosed with a terrifying illness. </p> <p>Speaking candidly to <a href="https://www.smh.com.au/culture/tv-and-radio/natalie-barr-if-you-can-t-cope-with-scrutiny-then-you-shouldn-t-be-on-tv-20230616-p5dh70.html?collection=p5dkug" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><em>Sunday Life</em></a>, the 55-year-old revealed she wasn't allowed to sit up for months. </p> <p>"I got really sick with a disease in my spine called osteomyelitis. The bug had eaten two of my verterbrae and they were crumbling," she said.</p> <p>"I'd had back pain and saw a physio who wrote to my doctor... but that night I ended up in hospital with an orthopaedic surgeon telling me: 'Lie down, or you'll never sit up again'."</p> <p>While having to lay flat for months on end, Nat was flown by the Royal Flying Doctor to a Perth hospital where they discovered the exact strain of the bug she had.</p> <p>Natalie was then "pumped with high-dose antibiotics" for the next couple of months before eventually recovering with no permanent damage.</p> <p>"It was traumatic. I didn't know if I'd be able to walk again," she admitted.</p> <p>"It was a really defining moment in my life because I was 15 and old enough to think, ‘I don’t know how I’m going to get out of this situation.’ ”</p> <p>The health scare was a major turning point in Natalie's life, as once she was fully recovered from the ordeal, she went on to intern at a local TV station in Western Australia where she cemented her dream of becoming a journalist. </p> <p>“I spent a week there and thought, ‘This is it. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life.’ It’s the most exciting thing: people race around, yell and scream at each other, race to the deadline at the end of the day, then come back and do it all again tomorrow."</p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images</em></p>

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"So traumatic": Michelle Bridges grilled over Biggest Loser's impact

<p>Michelle Bridges has been slammed by a body positivity activist for the negative impact <em>The Biggest Loser</em>'s strict rules around weight loss had on viewers. </p> <p>Appearing on <em>The Project</em> for a discussion around health and body image, Bridges went head-to-head with activist April Helene-Horton, who said she was unsure if she wanted to appear in the segment, given the “traumatic” presence <em>The Biggest Loser</em> was in her life.</p> <p>The weight loss program, which aired on Channel Ten from 2006 and ran for 11 seasons, featured Bridges as one of the several tough-talking trainers, motivating overweight contestants to intensively diet and exercise in a contest to lose the most weight in the fastest time for a big cash prize.</p> <p>During the discussion on <em>The Project</em>, Bridges and <em>The Biggest Loser</em> were put to the test to discuss what it means to be healthy. </p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsFI_QPu7Y9/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsFI_QPu7Y9/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by The Project (@theprojecttv)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p><em>The Project</em> host Sarah Harris asked Helene-Horton who was to blame “for the idea that larger bodies are bad”, as she listed “mainstream media, fashion, doctors who don‘t want to see fat patients, social media” among the main culprits.</p> <p>“Would you put the fitness industry in that same category?” Bridges asked.</p> <p>“Yeah I would. And I’ll be really honest and say, I was somewhat nervous coming here today to see you, because I would genuinely say that the show <em>The Biggest Loser</em> was one of the most traumatic things that ever happened to me,” Helene-Horton replied.</p> <p>“Yeah, I hear you. I absolutely hear you. Going on a show like that back in the day, I really had to dig deep and question my morals about why I’m in the health and fitness industry,” responded Bridges.</p> <p>Helene-Horton said that, having spoken to Bridges, she’d soon realised they had some things in common. </p> <p>“You, like me, are somebody who struggled against the idea that you need to be perfect. But the edit [on <em>The Biggest Loser</em>] still made me feel like someone who had the same values as you … would make me feel shame.”</p> <p>Bridges went on to admit that <em>The Biggest Loser</em> wouldn't "work" today, due to the liberation of the body positivity movement and the change in definition of what it means to be healthy. </p> <p>“When I look back on it, 17 years ago, it was a totally a different culture back then. I don’t think that show would work today. In fact, I know it wouldn’t,” she said.</p> <p><em>Image credits: The Project</em></p> <div class="media image" style="caret-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration: none; box-sizing: inherit; display: flex; flex-direction: column; align-items: center; width: 705.202209px; margin-bottom: 24px; max-width: 100%;"> </div>

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Paul Green’s brain donated to science

<p dir="ltr">Paul Green’s brain has been donated to the Australian Sports Brain Bank to help with science. </p> <p dir="ltr">The legendary coach and former player Paul Green was just 49 when he <a href="https://oversixty.com.au/news/news/rugby-league-icon-dead-at-49" target="_blank" rel="noopener">was found dead</a> at his home in Brisbane on August 11. </p> <p dir="ltr">It is confirmed that the father-of-two died from suicide. </p> <p dir="ltr">His family has now confirmed that his brain will be donated to the <a href="https://www.mycause.com.au/page/290298/in-memory-of-paul-green" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Australian Sports Brain Bank</a> to help aid research into concussion-related condition chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) - a common injury amongst NRL players due to the nature of the game. </p> <p dir="ltr">"In memory of our beloved Paul, we ask that you support the pioneering work of the Australian Sports Brain Bank,” their post read.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Paul was known for always looking out for others. We are proud that part of his legacy will be looking out for the brain health of all others involved in the game that he loved.</p> <p dir="ltr">"Amanda, Emerson and Jed."</p> <p dir="ltr">They are hoping to raise $150,000 to help with the research. </p> <p dir="ltr">Michael Buckland, the director of the Australian Sports Brain Bank, thanked Green’s family for their donation.</p> <p dir="ltr">"This is an incredibly generous donation and will be an invaluable part of our research into the long-term effects of repetitive head impacts in sport and elsewhere," he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">"We at the Australian Sports Brain Bank are blown away by the fact that in their time of grief, Amanda and the rest of the family thought of how they could help others."</p> <p dir="ltr">Green had an incredible NRL career, playing 162 first grade matches between 1994-2004 and winning the prestigious Rothmans Medal in 1995 as the game's best and fairest.</p> <p dir="ltr">He played for several different clubs including Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks, North Queensland Cowboys, Sydney Roosters, Parramatta Eels and the Brisbane Broncos.</p> <p dir="ltr">Green eventually swapped his playing boots to coaching ones as he took on the North Queensland Cowboys from 2014-2020.</p> <p dir="ltr">If you would like to donate to the research, click <a href="https://www.mycause.com.au/page/290298/in-memory-of-paul-green" target="_blank" rel="noopener">here</a>. </p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>If you are experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide, you can call Lifeline 131 114 or beyondblue 1300 224 636 or visit <a href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/">lifeline.org.au</a> or <a href="https://www.beyondblue.org.au/">beyondblue.org.au</a>.</strong></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Australian Sports Brain Bank</em></p>

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Home and Away star opens up on traumatic ordeal

<p dir="ltr"><em>Content warning: This article includes descriptions of mental illness and sexual assault.</em></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Home and Away</em> star Mat Stevenson has shared his story about being “drugged and raped” as a teenager in the hope that sharing his experience could help others struggling with their mental health.</p> <p dir="ltr">Stevenson admitted he was “uncomfortable” talking about his experience on Sunday’s episode of <em><a href="https://7news.com.au/spotlight/former-home-and-away-actor-mat-stevenson-says-he-was-once-drugged-and-raped-in-bombshell-episode-of-spotlight-the-fame-game--c-6702234" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Spotlight: The Fame Game</a></em>, which tackled the dark side of fame in light of Brummer’s death by suicide in July last year.</p> <p dir="ltr">The actor said he decided to speak out in case his story “helped someone” struggling with their own mental health.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I’m a bit uncomfortable opening up about my life because not many people know about it, but if it’s going to help someone, that whole notion of being vulnerable, then I’m all for it,” Stevenson said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I was basically drugged and raped and dragged into a spa and I thought I was going to drown, and then woke up naked somewhere.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I was 18. And then I won my role in <em>Neighbours </em>the next day. I was a pretty fit guy back then too, but when you’re paralysed there’s nothing you can do.”</p> <p dir="ltr">The then 18-year-old played Skinner on the show between 1988 and 1989, before landing his breakout role as Adam Cameron in <em>Home and Away</em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">On Sunday’s episode, Stevenson explained that he “suppressed” the traumatic ordeal at the time and “suffered in silence”, with his emotions being expressed as “toxic behaviours” like drinking and gambling.</p> <p dir="ltr">He admitted that, after leaving <em>Home and Away</em> in 1999, he had “wanted to find the bottom” as quickly as he could.</p> <p dir="ltr">“When you’re backing slow racehorses and drinking a lot, they’re two voices that’ll get you where you want to go pretty quickly,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And when I found the bottom, I rang my brother up to snip him for some cash, and he said, ‘Aren’t you tired of making s**t decisions?’ And I said, ‘Yea. I am, mate. I think I am.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Now, Stevenson describes his life as “bloody good” and that his greatest role has been as a dad to his daughter Grace and her friend Belle Bambi - who he symbolically adopted last year after her father allegedly rejected her for being trans.</p> <p dir="ltr">“My greatest role has been [as] a dad. I’ve come through it. So [Dieter’s] death ripped my heart out and I just don’t want to lose another bloke. So, if you’re suffering, reach out is the message,” he said on the program.</p> <p dir="ltr"><strong><em>If you or anyone you know struggles with topics raised in this article, contact lifeline at any time on 13 11 14 or 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.</em></strong></p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-a0f85945-7fff-20b3-89d3-b7d241d7bc82"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: 7News Spotlight</em></p>

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Tennis legend Pam Shriver opens up on "traumatic" affair

<p dir="ltr">Tennis star Pam Shriver has shared an insight into the “inappropriate” and “traumatic” affair she had with her coach as a teen, hoping her story will prompt tennis organisations to address the “alarmingly common” issue.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-a378a0f4-7fff-9d01-33aa-4243bedd7673">Shriver wrote about her experience in a column for the <em><a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/tennis/2022/04/20/pam-shriver-exclusive-inappropriate-relationship-50-year-old/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">UK Telegraph</a></em>, revealing how the relationship she had with her Australian coach Don Candy was “inappropriate and damaging”.</span></p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">This is not an easy story for me to tell, but it is time. </p> <p>You can listen to my story on the <a href="https://twitter.com/TennisPodcast?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@TennisPodcast</a> - <a href="https://t.co/81m3Ryfwr4">https://t.co/81m3Ryfwr4</a></p> <p>You can read my story <a href="https://twitter.com/TelegraphSport?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@TelegraphSport</a> - <a href="https://t.co/ckvTF4SSQQ">https://t.co/ckvTF4SSQQ</a> <a href="https://t.co/ZRHJMxPTjg">pic.twitter.com/ZRHJMxPTjg</a></p> <p>— Pam Shriver (@PHShriver) <a href="https://twitter.com/PHShriver/status/1516753194893778945?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 20, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Candy, who passed away in 2020, began working with Shriver when she was just nine years old and coached her when she went through to the final of the US Open at 16.</p> <p dir="ltr">She said she told the 50-year-old she was falling in love with him when she was 17, with the pair going on to have an affair.</p> <p dir="ltr">“My main motivation is to let people know this still goes on - a lot,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I believe abusive coaching relationships are alarmingly common in sport as a whole. My particular experience, though, is in tennis, where I have witnessed dozens of instances in my four-and-a-bit decades as a player and commentator.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Every time I hear about a player who is dating their coach, or I see a male physio working on a female body in the gym, it sets my alarm bells ringing.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Shriver shared that she had “conflicted feelings” about Candy, and that though she wasn’t sexually abused, “there was emotional abuse”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I felt so many horrendous emotions and I felt so alone. The worst would be my anger and jealousy when his wife came to tournaments,” the 22-time grand slam champion wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It was horrible. I can’t even tell you how many nights I just sobbed in my room - and then had to go out and play a match the next day.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Yes, he and I became involved in a long and inappropriate affair. Yes, he was cheating on his wife. But there was a lot about him that was honest and authentic. And I loved him. Even so, he was the grown-up there.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He should have been the trustworthy adult. In a different world, he would have found a way to keep things professional. Only after therapy did I start to feel a little less responsible. Now, at last, I’ve come to realise that what happened is on him.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Shriver wrote the her ability to form normal relationships had been “stunted” by the affair, which had been a “traumatic experience” for her.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The after-effects lasted far beyond the time we spent together. Our affair shaped my whole experience of romantic life,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">Though she suggested some possible solutions to the issue, Shriver said she doesn’t have all the answers.</p> <p dir="ltr">“By the time they graduate to the main tennis tour, many patterns have already been set,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And then there’s the coaches. The best way to protect their charges is to put them through an education process before they arrive on tour.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The same goes for other credential-holders: physios, fitness trainers and so on. The point has to be made very clearly: these kinds of relationships are not appropriate, and there will be consequences for those who cross the line.”</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-880a4695-7fff-b9d3-c532-a2b612c24e75"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Relationships

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Glenn Close opens up about traumatic cult childhood

<p>Glenn Close is opening up about her past.</p> <p>As a respected actress in Hollywood, many know that the 74-year-old has been nominated for an Oscar eight times, but what is relatively unknown in comparison is her upbringing in a movement called Moral Re-Armament (MRA), which has been described as cult-like.</p> <p>“It’s astounding that something you go through at such a young stage in your life still has such a potential to be destructive,” the star said during an interview on Prince Harry and Opray Winfrey's new Apple TV+ series The Me You Can't See.</p> <p>“I think that’s childhood trauma, because of the devastation, emotional and psychological, of the cult,” she added.</p> <p>“I am psychologically traumatised.”</p> <p>Close said that her father William became involved in the movement when she was just a child and took their family to the MRA's Switzerland headquarters. The family lived their for two years while William worked as a doctor in Africa.</p> <p>Ultimately, the family would be involved with the organisation for about 15 years.</p> <p>“It was basically a cult. Everyone spouted the same things, and there’s a lot of rules, a lot of control,” recalled Close. ”Because of how we were raised, anything you thought you’d do for yourself was considered selfish. We never went on any vacations or had any collective memories of stuff other than what we went through, which was really awful.”</p> <p>She said the way she was raised had lasting effects on her, and even played a role in her relationships. Close has been married and divorced three times, and also shares a daughter, Annie, with a previous long-time partner.</p> <p>“I have not been successful in my relationships and finding a permanent partner, and I’m sorry about that,” she explained. “I think it’s our natural state to be connected like that. I don’t think you ever change your trigger points, but at least you can be aware of them, and at least you can maybe avoid situations that might make you vulnerable, especially in relationships.”</p> <p>She joked: “It’s probably why we all have our dogs.”</p> <p>At the age of 22, Close left the organisation and went to William &amp; Mary College in Virginia to study drama.</p> <p>Close mentioned that she ended up in therapy to help treat the issues brought on by her upbringing and also went on to reveal the mental health issues her family faced.</p> <p>Her sister Jessie has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and her nephew suffers from schizophrenia.</p> <p>“Jessie was always considered the wild one, the rebel, but when she came up to me one summer at my parents’ house in Wyoming, her kids were already in the car, and she came up to me and said, ‘I need help, I can’t stop thinking about killing myself,’ and for me it was a shock,” the star said.</p> <p>“She ended up in hospital. I took her there. She was finally at age 50 properly diagnosed with bipolar one with psychotic tendencies.”</p>

Caring

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Ashley Judd opens up about traumatic incident in Congo jungle

<p>Ashley Judd has gone into detail about her horrific experience after shattering her leg in the Congolese jungle, revealing it was locals who saved her.</p> <p>The beloved actress, who was in the Congo to track endangered Bonobos, explained that she sustained “massive catastrophic injuries” after tripping over a fallen tree. “What was next was an incredibly harrowing 55 hours,” she said. She then told fans how she lay on the forest floor in agony, with the belief that her “internal bleeding would have likely killed her".</p> <p>However, she says she owes all her thanks to a man named Dieumerci, who “stretched out his leg and put it under my grossly misshapen left leg to try to keep it still. It was broken in four places and had nerve damage. Dieumerci (“Thanks be to God”) remained seated, without fidgeting or flinching, for five hours on the rainforest floor.”</p> <p>The actress then described another local man named Papa Jean who spent five hours searching for her, gave her a stick to bite on, then went on to readjust the shattered pieces of her leg.</p> <p>“It took five hours, but eventually he found me, wretched and wild on the ground, and calmly assessed my broken leg. He told me what he had to do,” she wrote.</p> <p>“I bit a stick. I held onto Maud. And Papa Jean, with certainty, began to manipulate and adjust my broken bones back into something like a position I could be transported in, while I screamed and writhed. How he did that so methodically while I was like an animal is beyond me. He saved me.”</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CLW2-QohZps/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="13"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CLW2-QohZps/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by Ashley Judd (@ashley_judd)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p>She then went on to say a group of men improvised a hammock and spent three hours carrying Judd through the forest to find transportation.</p> <p>The actress’ story does not end there though, as she told fans that her dear friend, a man named Maradona, volunteered to ride with her for six hours on a motorbike and kept her from falling off.</p> <p>She wrote: “Didier drove the motorbike. I sat facing backwards, his back my backrest. When I would begin to slump, to pass out, he would call to me to re-set my position to lean on him. Maradona rode on the very back of the motorbike, I faced him.</p> <p>“He held my broken leg under the heel and I held the shattered top part together with my two hands. Together we did this for six hours on an irregular, rutted and pocked dirt road that has gullies for rain run off during the rainy season. Maradona was the only person to come forward to volunteer for this task.”</p> <p>Judd wrote that she made the decision to come forward about the accident as a way to spread the word about “what it means to be Congolese in extreme poverty with no access to health care, any medication for pain, any type of service, or choices.”</p> <p>“The difference between a Congolese person and me is disaster insurance that allowed me, 55 hours after my accident, to get to an operating table in South Africa,” she says, adding that villages in<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://deadline.com/tag/congo/" target="_blank">Congo</a><span> </span>lack not only electricity but “a simple pill to kill the pain when you’ve shattered a leg in four places and have nerve damage.”</p> <p>The actress now lies in her hospital bed in South Africa, saying: “I wake up weeping in gratitude, deeply moved by each person who contributed something life giving and spirit salving during my gruelling 55 hour odyssey.”</p>

Caring

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Why a friend's death can be as traumatic as losing a family member

<p>The death of a friend is a loss that most people face at some point in their lives – often many times. But it is a grief that may not be taken seriously by employers, doctors or others. The so-called <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.2190/om.66.2.a">hierarchy of grief</a>, a scale used to determine who is considered a more legitimate mourner than others, puts family members at the top. For this reason, the death of a close friend can feel shunted to the periphery and has been described as a <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/02682629908657467?journalCode=rber20&amp;">disenfranchised grief</a>.</p> <p>There has not been much research on the impact the death of a friend has on a person, so we set out to address this with our <a href="https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0214838">latest study</a>. We discovered that, far from being a trivial loss, the health and well-being of people who lose a close friend has a heavy toll in the four years after that loss.</p> <p>For our study, published in PLOS ONE, we analysed responses from an Australian <a href="https://melbourneinstitute.unimelb.edu.au/hilda">household survey</a> of more than 26,000 people. Of the people who completed the survey, over 9,500 had experienced the death of a close friend. Our analysis showed that life satisfaction of the bereaved fell sharply (figure 1) compared with a matched non-bereaved group. There is a large and sharp drop in this life satisfaction from month three to nine and another smaller yet still sizeable drop at months 19 to 21.</p> <p><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/273318/original/file-20190508-183100-1n93aql.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" alt="" /> <span class="caption">Figure 1. Life satisfaction.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="license">Author provided</span></span></p> <p>In the graph below, the impact on general health is shown comparing the bereaved group with a matched non-bereaved group. You can see the bereaved group tracking clearly lower than the non-bereaved for 24 months, an effect that continues for four years.</p> <p><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/273330/original/file-20190508-183089-1wj8ffj.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" alt="" /> <span class="caption">Figure 2. General health.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="license">Author provided</span></span></p> <p>Social functioning and mental health are also worse after the death of a friend, which you can see in the final two graphs.</p> <p><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/273331/original/file-20190508-183112-1gyx3ls.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" alt="" /> <span class="caption">Figure 3. Social functioning.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="license">Author provided</span></span> <img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/273334/original/file-20190508-183109-m4cdnb.jpg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&amp;q=45&amp;auto=format&amp;w=754&amp;fit=clip" alt="" /> <span class="caption">Figure 4. Mental health.</span> <span class="attribution"><span class="license">Author provided</span></span></p> <p>These findings suggest we need to take the death of a close friend more seriously and to change the way we support people who are suffering from such a bereavement.</p> <p>Friends are <a href="https://asu.pure.elsevier.com/en/publications/is-friendship-akin-to-kinship">psychological kin</a>, that is, you may even have a stronger bond with friends than people you are related to by birth or marriage. So when a friend dies, the psychological and emotional stress can be as bad as the death of kin.</p> <p>Our analysis shows that if you’re not socially active, the death of a friend can make the impact of the bereavement worse. As your social circle shrinks, you become less resilient to grief because you lose a key source of emotional support from your social network.</p> <p><strong>Challenging the myths</strong></p> <p>The folklore that feelings of sadness and loss reduce considerably after a year also needs to be challenged. Although there are improvements in health and getting on with everyday life, the longer-term effects on mental health and well-being cannot be ignored. This is especially worrying for disenfranchised grief – not only are there marked and enduring long-term effects, but there’s also little recognition that the bereavement was significant.</p> <p>Mental health professionals and employers should now acknowledge the significant effect the death of a friend can have on a person and offer appropriate services and support. The psychological help bereaved people receive is not the same across the board, and this needs to change as we begin to accept the idea that close friends can be considered as psychological kin.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important; text-shadow: none !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/116474/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: http://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em>Written by <span>Liz Forbat, Associate Professor of Ageing, University of Stirling and Wai-Man Liu, Associate Professor, Research School of Finance, Actuarial Studies and Statistics, Australian National University</span>. Republished with permission of </em><a href="https://theconversation.com/when-a-friend-dies-the-impact-can-be-as-traumatic-as-losing-a-family-member-116474"><em>The Conversation</em></a><em>. </em></p>

Relationships

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“Threatened and intimidated”: Erin Molan reveals traumatic toll of horrendous online abuse

<p>Channel Nine presenter and radio host Erin Molan has opened up about the traumatic toll of the extreme abuse that she has received online.</p> <p>She was left feeling “threatened and intimidated” and scared for the safety of herself and her baby daughter, Eliza. This was due to online messages telling her that he hoped they would “die”.</p> <p>The messages were sent for months on end, containing abusive and threatening messages, before Molan reported the incident to the police.</p> <p>The man was convicted, fined and given an eight-month suspended sentence.</p> <p>Molan shared her thoughts about the incident with <a href="https://honey.nine.com.au/2019/05/04/18/58/erin-molan-social-media-online-abuse"><em>9Honey</em></a>, revealing that she was “embarrassed” by the incident.</p> <p>"I didn’t talk about it for a fair while, because there was just so much else going on," she said.</p> <p>"I was embarrassed to talk about it, which is a weird emotion to have, but I just didn’t want to draw any more attention to myself given that there was so much around so many other things."</p> <p>The messages are quite graphic, with multiple swear words.</p> <p><span>"I felt embarrassed that I was afraid by it. It scared and intimidated me," Molan explained.</span></p> <p>"I pride myself on being fairly tough and resilient, because I’ve had to be after almost 10 years in a very male dominated industry, in a field that attracts a lot of attention – both positive and negative."</p> <p>After initially thinking that this is “just unfortunately part of the parcel” when it comes to working in the public eye, it was only until the messages got more intense that Molan realised it wasn’t normal behaviour.</p> <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwofjB7lAKn/" data-instgrm-version="12"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BwofjB7lAKn/" target="_blank">A post shared by Erin Molan (@erin_molan)</a> on Apr 24, 2019 at 2:08am PDT</p> </div> </blockquote> <p>"I guess initially I thought this [the online abuse] is something I’ll just have to put up with," she explains. "I didn’t want to be weak.</p> <p>"It had become so normal for me to receive horrible messages that it didn’t seem like a big deal until it started to get really intense.</p> <p>"When it becomes threatening and intimidating and affects how I feel and live my life then I think I should be able to take action and ensure I feel safe. Because I have that right the same as anyone else."</p> <p>Molan has hopes that by sharing her story, it will make those who bully and troll online think twice about leaving abusive comments to someone on social media.</p> <p>"The motivation behind this is indeed to get people to think twice about writing something to someone," she said.</p> <p>"Social media is always going to have a negative nasty element to it, but I guess if people think twice about crossing a line and really being vile abusive, threatening and intimidating, then it’s a good thing.</p> <p>"There's so many wonderful things about it, but there's also an incredibly dark side."</p>

Technology

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Most traumatic scenes in kids’ movies

<p>I’m not sure whether it was just being a child growing up in the 1970s and 80s, but most of my early childhood movie memories were traumatic ones.</p> <p>From the horrors contained within Disney’s early animated output to <em>Never Ending Story</em>’s drowning horse (which played just before the intermission), it seems no trip to the movies then was without tears or a subsequent sleepless night.</p> <p>In celebration of Oscar-winner <em>Inside Out’</em>s fabulous depiction of childhood emotions, here are 10 movies that still haunt me to this day.</p> <p><strong><em>Bambi</em> (1942)</strong></p> <p>Many a child was scarred by a visit to see this seemingly benign animated adventure.</p> <p>While most of the film involved fauna frolicking amongst the undergrowth, one early scene casts a pall over proceedings - the death of Bambi’s mother.</p> <p>One minute she’s warning him of the dangers of the forest, the next we hear a gunshot that signals her demise.</p> <p><strong><em>Fantasia</em> (1940)</strong></p> <p>Another classic bait-and-switch from the team at Disney.</p> <p>A portmanteau film involving matching images to music, for the most part it’s all happy, happy, joy, joy.</p> <p>But then comes the final sequence, Night on Bald Mountain, set to Modest Mussorgsky’s score, which conjures up a devil-like creature who summons evil spirits.</p> <p><strong><em>Gremlins</em> (1984)</strong></p> <p>Phoebe Cates might be most remembered by viewers of a certain age for a dream sequence in 1982’s<em> Fast Times at Ridgemont High</em>, but younger cinemagoers had a more traumatic experience at her hands two years later.</p> <p>In the middle of all the gleeful mayhem and comedy frights of <em>Gremlins</em>, her Kate Beringer delivers a terrible tale of Christmas and Santa Claus that will test even the most fervent young believer’s resolve.</p> <p><strong><em>The Lion King</em> (1994)</strong></p> <p>In simplistic terms, this was Bambi for a new generation, unexpected death and all (although I still haven’t forgiven the women behind me at the cinema who spoiled it for everyone around her in order to pre-warn her child).</p> <p>However, allied to a Shakespearian-esque drama, the offending sequence plays out so powerfully it’s hard to be moved to tears. It was also so good Pixar virtually repeated the trick in last year’s <em>The Good Dinosaur</em>.</p> <p><strong><em>The Never Ending Story</em> (1984)</strong></p> <p>A story about a decaying universe was never going to be tear-free (especially when its herald was a ferocious wolf), but few could have expected the moment that blindsided a generation of moviegoers.</p> <p>Incredibly unleashed just before the intermission (when such things existed), our androgynous fictional hero Artreyu suddenly finds his horse Artex sinking in the swamps of sadness. Cue children fleeing from the auditorium. So indelible it even gained a mention in recent rom-com <em>How to Be Single</em>.</p> <p><strong><em>The Secret of Nimh</em> (1982)</strong></p> <p>Based on Robert C O’Brien’s novel, this tale of a field mouse’s search for the cure for his son takes her into the terrifying world of lab rats.</p> <p>Bizarrely the lead character’s name had to be changed from Frisby to Brisby because of fears from the producers of copyright infringement action from the makers of the flying discs.</p> <p><strong><em>Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs</em> (1937)</strong></p> <p>Disney’s first full-length animated adventure proved they knew how to emotionally manipulate and scare an audience.</p> <p>From the frightening woods to the heart-shaped box, the magic mirror and the Wicked Queen’s true form, there’s so many moments to leave the littlies with nightmares.</p> <p><strong><em>Time Bandits</em> (1981)</strong></p> <p>Nobody saw the end of this film coming.</p> <p>Sure Terry Gilliam’s anarchic tale of a young boy who accidentally joins a band of dwarves as they jump from era to era looking for treasure to steal wasn’t scare free, but everything seemed to have played out happily - until that final, oven-destroying, childhood-scarring scene.</p> <p><strong><em>Watership Down</em> (1978)</strong></p> <p>I blame Art Garfunkel.</p> <p>His hit tune Bright Eyes led us to believe (my parents included) that this animated adventure was suitable fare for a five-year-old.</p> <p>However, what actually transpired was a dark, blood-soaked tale of life as a rabbit. Some scenes still send a shudder down my spine.</p> <p><strong><em>Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory</em> (1971)</strong></p> <p>While others will cite the earlier <em>Chitty Chitty Bang Bang</em> as far more compelling, this was the movie that scared those of my era onto the straight-and-narrow.</p> <p>Some bits towards the end are confusing in the extreme (Wonka’s sudden changes of mood and heart), but there’s no doubting the power of scenes like Augustus Gloop being sucked up a chocolate pipe or Violet turning violet. All back by those proto-rapping Oompa Loompas with their cautionary lyrics.</p> <p><em>Written by James Groot. First appeared on <a href="http://Stuff.co.nz" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz</span></strong></a>.</em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/entertainment/movies/2016/09/vcr-is-officially-dead/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Digitise those VHS tapes, the VCR is officially dead</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/entertainment/movies/2016/09/best-movies-based-on-kids-books/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Hollywood’s 15 best movies based on kids’ books</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/entertainment/movies/2016/06/favourite-musical-films/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Our favourite musical films</strong></em></span></a></p>

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