"I just hit a wall": Meshel Laurie reveals why she left The Project
<p>Meshel Laurie has revealed the personal struggles that led her to leave her radio hosting job and regular appearances at <em>The Project</em>.</p>
<p>In an interview with <em><a rel="noopener" href="https://tvblackbox.com.au/page/2019/5/2/meshel-laurie-talks-social-media-suicide-and-how-georgie-gardner-helped-save-her" target="_blank">McKnight Tonight</a> </em>podcast, the comedian and broadcaster told Rob McKnight how the struggles she faced earlier this year made her turn to alcohol and contemplate suicide.</p>
<p>“[In] early 2019, I was in a situation where I was having a breakdown basically,” said Laurie.</p>
<p>The 45-year-old said she had to leave her radio gig to tend to her “dying” father, who was living with her at the time. </p>
<p>“I had to give up working full time in breakfast radio because I couldn’t cope with the hours and the pressures at home,” Laurie admitted. </p>
<p>She also said the pressures from caring gave her serious anxiety, which she “self-medicated” with alcohol. </p>
<p>“I was drinking heavily every night [and] tweeting … a hideous combination and a terrible place to be.”</p>
<p>Apart from her radio job, Laurie also stopped appearing on Channel Ten’s panel show <em>The Project</em>. </p>
<p>“I’d worked really hard for a really long time and I’d always enjoyed [working in the media], but I just hit a wall, you know?” she said.</p>
<p>“You’re so driven by the next job and getting the job and keeping the job, and the fear of other people coming up behind you, and the fear of taking a day off, that whoever replaces you will be great … I was that person, I wanted to keep grinding.”</p>
<p>As her drinking became worse, Laurie said she became more reckless on social media and ended up in online fights.</p>
<p>She said she “made some mistakes” while drunk on Twitter, sparking the anger of activists on Twitter.</p>
<p>The media personality, who is a strong supporter of asylum seekers, encouraged counter protesters to boycott a white supremacist rally as she believed the situation might get out of control. </p>
<p>However, many people on the social media platform became furious at Laurie for telling people of colour what they should or should not do.</p>
<p>“When people started attacking me and saying, ‘Stop telling black people what to do’. I reacted and I felt insulted. Then it just got out of hand,” she confessed.</p>
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en">
<p dir="ltr">Thank you. I appreciate the reminder and again I apologise for the fact that my panic prevented me from being able to listen. <a href="https://t.co/tquwD3Gooy">https://t.co/tquwD3Gooy</a></p>
— Meshel Laurie (@Meshel_Laurie) <a href="https://twitter.com/Meshel_Laurie/status/1081470014056615936?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">January 5, 2019</a></blockquote>
<p>“I ended up being really terrified of social media, which I still am now ... I’m really frightened of speaking in public.”</p>
<p>Following the online backlash, she said she felt “devastated” and “suicidal” as the people that she had helped and reached out to in the past “hung s**t” on her publicly.</p>
<p>However, during that low moment, unexpected help came in the form of fellow TV personality Georgie Gardner, who sent her a supportive message. </p>
<p>“She was just really kind, and she was just saying everyone used to say to Charlotte [Dawson], ‘switch it off, mate’ – like, let it go, it doesn't matter, none of this is important, just go to bed, get some sleep, tomorrow's another day,” said Laurie.</p>
<p>In the morning, she re-read Gardner’s message and thought, “’What a nice lady!’ She’s got enough to deal with in her actual life, and I had so many real friends who were not stepping in for me, were not contacting me, and I knew they must be seeing it, and they were not – and still, frankly, haven’t. But yeah, what a nice lady!</p>
<p>“And I sometimes I see things in the media ... and I think, ‘I must try and find a way to tell the world that she’s a really nice person!’”</p>
<p><em>If you are troubled by this article, experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide, you can call Lifeline 131 114 or beyondblue 1300 224 636 or visit <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.lifeline.org.au/" target="_blank">lifeline.org.au</a> or <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/national-help-lines-and-websites" target="_blank">beyondblue.org.au</a>.</em></p>
