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Don’t give mum chocolates for Mother’s Day. Take on more housework, share the mental load and advocate for equality instead

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p>With Mother’s Day right around the corner, many grateful and loving families are thinking about what to give mum to show their appreciation.</p> <p>Should you give her chocolate? Nope. Fancy soaps? Nope. Fuzzy slippers, pyjamas, scented candles? No, no and no.</p> <p>On this Mother’s Day, keep your cash and give your wonderful mother gifts that will actually have a long-term impact on her health and well-being.</p> <h2>1. Do a chore that mum hates and hold onto it … forever</h2> <p>Research <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13545701.2020.1831039">shows</a> men have increased the amount of time spent on housework and childcare and that mothers, over time, are doing less (hooray!).</p> <p>But, women <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2008.00479.x">still do more housework</a> than men, especially when <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12497?fbclid=IwAR2dp04p2sFqbDqdehXmXgDSfTYwX3GRzP7ScMJhSOrMePTGQVErR2TTX88">kids are in the home</a>.</p> <p>Further, <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243205285212">men tend to pick up the more desirable tasks</a>, like <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3598304">cooking and playing with the kids</a>, leaving mothers to do the less pleasurable chores (think cleaning toilets and clearing out fridges).</p> <p>The chore divide in same-sex relationships is generally found to be more equal, but some critique suggests equality may suffer <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/16/upshot/same-sex-couples-divide-chores-much-more-evenly-until-they-become-parents.html">once kids are involved</a>.</p> <p>This year give your mum (or mums) the gift of equal housework and childcare sharing – start by taking the most-hated tasks and then hold onto them… forever.</p> <p><a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/gwao.12727">Research</a> shows housework inequality is bad for women’s mental health. Undervaluing women’s housework and unequal sharing of the chores deteriorates <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-022-01282-5">relationship quality</a>, and <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0038038516674664">leads to divorce</a>.</p> <p>Housework and childcare take up valuable time to keep the family happy, harmonious and thriving, often at the expense of mum’s health and well-being.</p> <p>So, skip the chocolates and show mum love by doing the worst, most drudgerous and constant household chores (hello, cleaning mouldy showers!) and keep doing these… forever.</p> <h2>2. Initiate a mental unload</h2> <p>The <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">mental load</a> is all of the planning, organising and management work necessary to keep the family running.</p> <p>The mental load is often perceived as list making or allocating tasks to family members.</p> <p>But, it’s so much more – it is the <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">emotional work</a> that goes with this thinking work.</p> <p>The mental load is the worry work that never ends and can be done <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668803.2021.2002813">anywhere, anytime and with anyone</a> (in, for example, said mouldy shower).</p> <p>Because the mental load is performed inside our heads, it is invisible. That means we don’t know when we or others are performing this labour unless we really tune in.</p> <p>In fact, it is often when we tune in through quiet time, relaxation or meditation that the mental load rears its ugly head. Suddenly you remind yourself to buy oranges for the weekend soccer game, organise a family movie night and don’t forget to check in on nanna.</p> <p>Women in heterosexual relationships are <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0003122419859007">shown to do more</a> of the mental load with serious consequences for their mental health. But we don’t have a comprehensive measurement of how much women do it nor how it is allocated in same-sex couples.</p> <p>So, on this mothers’ day spend some time talking about, cataloguing, and equalising the family’s mental load.</p> <p>This isn’t just making a list about what has to be done but also understanding <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/health/2017-09-14/the-mental-load-and-what-to-do-about-it/8942032">how the mental load</a> connects to the emotional health of the family, and the person carrying this <a href="https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/making-the-mental-load-visible/">invisible labour, worry and stress</a>.</p> <h2>3. Speak up for your mum and all caregivers</h2> <p>Families alone cannot bear the brunt of the caregiving necessary to keep us thriving.</p> <p>Governments, workplaces and local communities also play a critical role. For this mothers’ day, pick an issue impacting mothers (for example, equal pay, affordable childcare or paid family leave) and do one thing to help move the needle.</p> <p>Write a letter to your boss, your local MP, or donate money to an advocacy organisation advancing gender equality.</p> <p>Or, role model these behaviours yourself – normalise caregiving as a critical piece of being an effective worker, create policies and practices that support junior staff to care for themselves, their families and their communities and use these policies.</p> <p><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0891243216649946">Research</a> shows men want to be equal carers and sharers but often fear what taking time off for caregiving will signal to their employer despite evidence that fathers who request flexible work are perceived more <a href="https://academic.oup.com/sf/article-abstract/94/4/1567/2461609?login=false">favourably</a>.</p> <p>Appearing to be singularly devoted to work was shown to be impossible during the pandemic with kids, spouses, partners, and pets home all day long.</p> <p>Learning to create more care-inclusive workplaces and communities is critical.</p> <p>Paid parental leave, affordable and accessible high-quality childcare, flexibility in how, when and where we work and greater investments in paid sick leave, long-term disability support and aged care are just a few policies that would strengthen the care safety net.</p> <p>We will all be called upon to care at some point in our lives – let’s create the environments that support caregiving for all, not just mum.<!-- Below is The Conversation's page counter tag. Please DO NOT REMOVE. --><img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/182330/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /><!-- End of code. If you don't see any code above, please get new code from the Advanced tab after you click the republish button. The page counter does not collect any personal data. More info: https://theconversation.com/republishing-guidelines --></p> <p><em><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/leah-ruppanner-106371">Leah Ruppanner</a>, Professor of Sociology and Founding Director of The Future of Work Lab, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a></em></p> <p><em>Image credits: Getty Images </em></p> <p><em>This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-give-mum-chocolates-for-mothers-day-take-on-more-housework-share-the-mental-load-and-advocate-for-equality-instead-182330">original article</a>.</em></p> </div>

Family & Pets

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Advocates slam "ageist" call for older drivers to undergo mandatory testing

<p>A fresh push to make older drivers undergo mandatory health checks every year has been labelled ageist by advocates. </p> <p>General Practitioners have reignited the debate to introduce annual assessments for drivers in Victoria aged 75 and over, to bring the state in line with standards in other states including NSW, Queensland, WA and the Australian Capital Territory. </p> <p>“This is not about discriminating against older people, but a recognition that the skills that are required to drive safely can be lost as we get older,” the Royal Australian College of General Practitioners Victoria chair Dr Anita Muñoz told <em>The Age</em>. </p> <p>"We do feel that having an annual assessment done for elderly drivers is a good thing," the college's Victoria co-deputy chair Dr Bindiya Sethi added. </p> <p>Victoria Police data obtained by <em>The Age</em> also showed that 145 people have died and 7080 have been injured in road incidents caused by people aged over 65. </p> <p>20 per cent of licence holders in Victoria are over 65, which has gone up from 16 per cent a decade ago. </p> <p>In the last financial year, there were 247 deaths and 16,265 injuries caused by crashes on Victorian roads, with drivers aged 65 and over responsible for around 10 per cent of these incidences. </p> <p>However, Chris Potaris, chief executive of the Council on the Ageing Victoria and Seniors Rights Victoria, has called the move "ageist". </p> <p>“We continue to support Victoria’s approach, which emphasises a driver’s behaviour and medical fitness to operate a motor vehicle,” he told the publication. </p> <p>“Driving should be based on ability, not on age.”</p> <p>Seniors Rights Victoria policy and advocacy manager Ben Rogers has also slammed the move. </p> <p>"We find it ageist and arbitrary ... It's targeting people that don't need to be targeted," Rogers said. </p> <p>MP Steve Dimopolous added that there was no evidence that an aged-based assessment model was any better than the existing rules. </p> <p>VicRoads also claimed that there is a lot of misinformation about older drivers, who are "usually more cautious, more experienced and more responsible" than younger drivers.</p> <p> </p> <p>"They are more likely to obey the law and are less likely to drink drive or speed," VicRoads said.</p> <p>However, a few others believe that mandatory assessments are a good move. </p> <p>"I think it's fair enough. Over a certain age, maybe 70 or so," local man Pat said.</p> <p>"I think the younger drivers are worse than the older drivers," another added. </p> <p><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

Legal

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"Out-of-touch" Project stars slammed over clash with renter advocate

<p>Social media users have slammed <em>The Project </em>hosts,  following their recent interview with a renter advocate who encourages Aussies struggling with the housing crisis to squat in empty homes. </p> <p>Jordan van den Berg,  founder of the S*** Rentals website shared a video over the weekend outside a rundown house in Chadstone, Melbourne, saying: “Are you sick of rich people hoarding empty houses during a housing crisis? I know I am." </p> <p>“Here’s how you can do something about it.” </p> <p>He then encouraged people to submit information on empty homes in their suburbs via a form on his website, which he plans to promote on his socials so those struggling to find a home could squat in them. </p> <p>“Fun fact – squatting in Australia is not necessarily illegal, which is the best type of legal, especially if the front door doesn’t actually lock," he said. </p> <p>On Monday, he appeared on The Project to talk about his controversial plans, and was grilled by the show's hosts. </p> <p>“I know we’re in a pretty serious housing crisis, but do you really think encouraging people to squat in private properties is the way to fix it?" asked co-host Sarah Harris. </p> <p> “Let me answer your question by asking you a question. Do you think it’s right we have thousands of vacant, abandoned homes while we have people living on the street?” van de Berg replied. </p> <p>Harris said she didn’t and asked whether the solving the housing crisis should be focused on policy instead.</p> <p>Later in the interview, panellist Steve Price casted his doubts on whether there actually were a lot of vacant homes, but van de Berg replied that he'd received over 300 submissions from Aussies about empty homes in their suburbs. </p> <p>van de Berg also said that desperate people are even squatting in abandoned properties, and added: “If someone needs a house, they can reach out to me and I’ll send them [details about] an empty home."</p> <p>Harris was shocked that people would “basically camp out in abandoned houses with no power" which van den Berg argued that “camping out inside” was likely better than sleeping on the streets or in a park.</p> <p>Co-host Waleed Aly then asked whether van de Berg  was encouraging people to break the law, but he pointed out that squatting – done properly – isn’t technically illegal.</p> <p>The interview has been slammed on social media, with Writer and comedian John Delmenico posting on X: “Watching the rich out-of-touch panel on the Project realise in real time that not everyone is rich is so bizarre.</p> <p>"Especially the part where Pingers has to explain that being in a house is safer than sleeping on the street. How do they host the news with no connection to reality?”</p> <p>Others agreed mocking the panellists’ shock that “shelter without electricity is better than no shelter with no electricity”.</p> <p>“She was laughing at the fact that ppl would camp out in abandoned houses with no power/water, until he put her in her place by reminding her they’re better off camping under shelter than outside. Mic drop moment," one wrote. </p> <p>“Homelessness exists … it’s quite a big problem actually," another added. </p> <p>However, a few others agreed with the <em>Project</em> hosts. </p> <p>“Encouraging people to squat, who does he think he is?" one wrote. </p> <p>“He thinks he’s doing a good thing, but he’s given absolutely no critical thought to the implications of encouraging people to take over ‘empty homes’," another added. </p> <p>Leo Patterson Ross, chief executive of the Tenants Union of NSW, said that van den Berg was “drawing attention to issues that government should be acting on”.</p> <p>“In the middle of a housing crisis with growing levels of homelessness, we should be looking to ensure homes are not left vacant,” Patterson Ross said.</p> <p>“If a person leaves a property unattended and empty for 12 years, then I think many of us would agree it seems fair that the community can reclaim usage to provide a home, whether that be individuals or government.”</p> <p><em>Image: The Project</em></p>

Legal

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“If you’re reading this, I have died”: Breast cancer advocate’s powerful last words

<p dir="ltr">Breast cancer advocate Nicky Newman has passed away at the age of 35, leaving a posthumous message to her dedicated followers. </p> <p dir="ltr">The influencer has been documenting her journey battling stage 4 breast cancer with her 300,000 followers on Instagram, sharing the ups and downs of her disease. </p> <p dir="ltr">The British woman’s death was confirmed by her husband Alex, who posted Nicky’s final message to those who supported her through her cancer journey.</p> <p dir="ltr">"If you're reading this it means I have died, I made it 5 & half years though, not bad for a stage 4 breastie hey," the post began.</p> <p dir="ltr">"And none of this 'she fought her battle nonsense', I didn't lose anything, the cancer eventually took over & that's okay, we all knew this would happen."</p> <p dir="ltr">The inspiring woman recalled being told she had breast cancer and how she chose to embrace life during the time she had left.</p> <p dir="ltr">"I don't think we are ever prepared to hear the words, we think we are indestructible & a magic cure will appear, but the truth is we all live this life day to day (we just knew our days are shorter)," she continued.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CxVtBF7Itxy/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CxVtBF7Itxy/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Nicky & Mr G - Go Grab Life! (@nicknacklou)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">"So please promise me to cherish those around you and give your friends and loved ones the biggest squeezes! GO GRAB LIFE!</p> <p dir="ltr">"You never truly know what is coming around the corner - so don't take anything for granted."</p> <p dir="ltr">In the hours after Nicky’s last post, Alex shared some thoughts of his own to her Instagram account, explaining why he thought Nicky’s story resonated with so many. </p> <p dir="ltr">He recalled a conversation he had with this wife, saying, "People instantly love and are drawn to you because ever since diagnosis, at the worst time of our lives, we chose not to mourn the time we are losing but rather to celebrate and cherish the time that we have left - however long that may be."</p> <p dir="ltr">"She has created a legacy here, a place where anyone can see that life is for positivity and smiles and happiness. Even through hardship…even if it seems impossible."</p> <p dir="ltr">Both Alex and Nicky’s posts racked up hundreds of thousands of likes, with people flocking to the comments to share how Nicky’s strength had had an impact on their lives. </p> <p dir="ltr">One person wrote, “Life is so unexplainably cruel at times…and even when it was for you, you still came on here and raised awareness for all of us, and our future generations - of the importance of things that without you educating us, we wouldn’t know without having to go and research ourselves.”</p> <p dir="ltr">“Thankyou for putting us first, and for making me see how precious life is, & how important it is to grab it.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image credits: Instagram</em></p>

Caring

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“He was pure evil”: Grace Tame recalls the confrontation with her abuser

<p dir="ltr"><em>Content warning: This article mentions child sexual abuse and rape.</em></p> <p dir="ltr">Grace Tame has spoken out about the first time she “stood up” to her abuser, and how she would never forget telling him he was a “monster” and “pure evil”.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-88aeec46-7fff-121c-61f9-67cbbdb45285">The 2021 Australian of the Year spoke about her experience while addressing a packed audience at <a href="https://www.adelaidefestival.com.au/writers-week/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Adelaide Writers’ Week</a> alongside event director Jo Dyer and author Jess Hill.</span></p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Ca3zmxxJVhQ/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Ca3zmxxJVhQ/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Eventalaide (@eventalaide)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">The Writers’ Week talk, entitled The Reckoning, saw Ms Tame open up about how she confronted the teacher who repeatedly raped her.</p> <p dir="ltr">Although she was “terrified of this paedophile”, Ms Tame said she “stood up” to him and told him “he was a monster” four days before she reported him to police.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I told him that, and I will always remember that, and you know what? So will he,” she <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-03-09/grace-tame-recalls-the-moment-she-confronted-her-abuser/100895514" target="_blank" rel="noopener">said</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“My fear of upsetting the apple cart died that day.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Ms Tame was repeatedly abused while she was a student at Hobart’s St Michael’s Collegiate.</p> <p dir="ltr">She was 15 at the time.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He’d never seen my true rage towards him, but as he sat in his office chair I pointed a finger at him, I was crying my eyes out, I started yelling and screaming and I told him exactly what I thought of him,” she recounted.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And I told him I thought - I thought he was pure evil, and that I hoped he died, and I pointed to a picture of his own children who were twice my age at the time, and I told him I hated him for what he had done to me.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Whenever I think I can’t do something I remember this day - and I was terrified when I did this - but this is what I draw on when I need self-belief.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Since her abuser’s conviction, Ms Tame has campaigned for the way sexual assault is dealt with to be changed, and told Wednesday’s audience that legal restrictions preventing victims from sharing their stories contributed to an “ecosystem of abuse”.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-44561e80-7fff-29a3-1c07-e886a701c17a"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">“It’s so messed up how society has all these layers of victim-blaming entrenched, codified at every level,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2022/03/grace-tame1.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Grace Tame opened up about how she confronted her abuser at Adelaide Writers’ Week. Image: Roy Vandervegt / Adelaide Festival</em></p> <p dir="ltr">She added that the language used to describe sexual abuse and assault also partially contributed to said “ecosystem of abuse”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“That’s what really inspired me to pursue a different kind of advocacy because I thought, ‘Why am I learning about this word (grooming) for the first time seven years after I’ve gone through this experience?’” she <a href="https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/entertainment/adelaide-festival/the-reckoning-grace-tame-and-jess-hill-to-speak-at-adelaides-writers-week/news-story/e40b9959c254b735a383860b4fd5e920?utm_campaign=later-linkinbio-thetiser&utm_content=later-25219761&utm_medium=social&utm_source=linkin.bio" target="_blank" rel="noopener">said</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“You know, like if you are stabbed for instance, you can say I was stabbed. This is what happened. These were the circumstances and then we also have the skillset to then ask for help - the appropriate help - but that’s certainly not what I had.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Ms Tame also shared more details about a “threatening” phone call she received last year asking her to refrain from saying anything negative about Prime Minister Scott Morrison.</p> <p dir="ltr">She first mentioned the phone call at the National Press Club last month, alleging a senior member of a government-funded organisation was the one who called her.</p> <p dir="ltr">On Wednesday, she elaborated on the incident and said “it wasn’t an empty threat”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I didn’t share this at the National Press Club but do you know what the threat was, from that person who phoned me? It was that they wouldn’t support the [Grace Tame] Foundation if I said something about the Prime Minister,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Following her Press Club address, Women’s Safety Minister Anne Ruston said the federal government had begun an investigation into Ms Tame’s allegation.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-119bdff5-7fff-47b1-1e4a-3e38cc95cae1"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Roy Vandervegt / Adelaide Festival</em></p>

Caring

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Wildlife advocates call for Bunnings to ditch bird-killing poisons

<p dir="ltr">BirdLife Australia, the country’s largest bird conservation group, has called on Bunnings Warehouse to stop the sale of certain poisons used to kill rats and mice, claiming that native birds are being killed after eating the poisoned pests.</p> <p dir="ltr">The group has launched a<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.actforbirds.org/ratpoison" target="_blank">petition</a><span> </span>imploring Bunnings, the largest hardware chain in Australia and New Zealand, to “Take bird-killing poisons off [their] shelves!” The petition explains that Bunnings controls about half of Australia’s DIY hardware market share, and sells a larger variety of second-generation anticoagulant rodenticide products (also known as SGARs) than any other major outlet.</p> <p dir="ltr">SGARs are the poisons that work most effectively on rodents, and sales of such products have increased dramatically as a result of the plague of mice that swept eastern Australia this year, leaving shelves at stores around the country completely bare.</p> <p dir="ltr">BirdLife Australia says that native birds of prey, including wedge-tailed eagles, southern boobooks and possibly even powerful owls are dying after eating rodents that have been poisoned by SGARs. As the group explains in the petition, there are alternative products that are “just as effective that don't poison our natural foodchains”. SGARs have been restricted for sale in many parts of the world, including the US, Canada, and parts of Europe.</p> <p><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GdAQPiC2dsA" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></p> <p dir="ltr">SGARs work by causing internal bleeding, but when pests like rats and mice eat bait that has been poisoned, they become poisonous themselves, harming and even killing animals that eat them. BirdLife’s petition states that studies have already shown how southern boobooks and wedge-tailed eagles have been affected by the increased use of SGARs, and they are currently researching the impact on powerful owls.</p> <p dir="ltr">BirdLife argues that first generation anticoagulant rodenticide products have active ingredients like warfarin and work just as well as SGARs, but do not have the same impact on non-target species. In addition, the group recommends snap traps as the most humane option for dealing with pests.</p> <p dir="ltr">A Bunnings spokesperson<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://7news.com.au/lifestyle/take-your-bird-killing-poisons-off-your-shelves-bird-lovers-call-for-ban-on-popular-buy-at-bunnings-c-4297277" target="_blank">told 7News</a><span> </span>that it offers many rodent control products that are safe for wildlife, and that it was working with suppliers to help shoppers make informed purchases. “We always respect community feedback and we recently met with BirdLife Australia to understand their views and to explain the steps we are taking to educate customers about rodent control products,” Bunnings general manager, merchandise, Adrian Pearce said.</p> <p dir="ltr">Pearce went on to say that Bunnings understands there are risks associated with the use of SGARs, and that they “proactively promote the safe use of these products and support customers in making informed purchasing decisions.” He added that the retailer offers a range of rodent control products that are not poisonous, including repellers, live catch traps, regular rat traps, and natural bait pellets.</p> <p dir="ltr">Pearce explained Bunnings’ next steps, saying, “In addition, we are creating further training for our team members to help improve their knowledge about this topic. We are also in the process of implementing the separation of first generation and second generation rat poison varieties, along with naturally-derived rodenticides on our shelves to further assist with easier customer product selection.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We will continue to closely follow the advice of the Australian Pesticides and Veterinary Medicines Authority (APVMA), and work with our suppliers to innovate in this area.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Ken Griffiths/Getty Images</em></p>

Family & Pets

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“Heartless”: Expert sparks fury by “advocating” for Australian deaths

<p><span>Economist Gigi Foster has come under fire for talking about "body counts" on Monday night’s episode of <em>Q&amp;A</em> and championing for Australia to replicate Sweden's relaxed response to the coronavirus pandemic.</span><br /><br /><span>When her University of New South Wales colleague Adjunct Professor Bill Bowtell, who is also a strategic health adviser, told the panel he felt the virus could be eliminated from Australia, Professor Foster called his opinion an "unrealistic vision".</span><br /><br /><span>She then used Sweden as an example by pointing out the Nordic nation chose not to impose lockdowns.</span><br /><br /><span>She also said that social distancing and working from home have been completely voluntary.</span><br /><br /><span>"I think that Australia can follow in the footsteps of many other countries in the world, some of which have not had lockdowns as strict as we have had here, such as again, Sweden — and look at the death tolls in those countries," Professor Foster said.</span><br /><br /><span><em>Q&amp;A</em> host Hamish Macdonald however would not let this fly and said: “Let me pull you up there. Sweden has had 5,697 deaths.</span><br /><br /><span>"Are you comfortable with advocating that for Australia?"</span><br /><br /><span>Professor Foster responded with: "I'm comfortable with saying let's be data driven in our policy choices and look at what's happened in other countries."</span><br /><br /><span>However Macdonald said the strategy Sweden has implemented holds no advantages, citing the country’s GDP (down 7 per cent) and unemployment rate (9 per cent).</span><br /><br /><span>"How can you point to Sweden and say there's the model?" he asked.</span><br /><br /><span>Professor Foster responded: "If you look at what's happening to those death counts around the world, in every country that has had a proper first wave, [they are] somewhere between 0.5 per cent and 0.1 per cent of the population.</span><br /><br /><span>"That translates in Australia to about 12,000 to 25,000 deaths for people who are predominantly elderly or immunocompromised.</span><br /><br /><span>"But it's a body count."</span><br /><br /><span>Macdonald said her comment was "heartless" and read out Victoria's daily coronavirus statistics.</span><br /><br /><span>"[In] Victoria today, there was six further deaths announced, there are 44 people in ICU, 245 people in hospital," he said</span><br /><br /><span>Professor Foster replied by saying it is “horrible” but when asked by the show’s host why she was “advocating for them to die,” she pointedly refused the suggestion.</span><br /><br /><span>"I'm not advocating for anybody to die, I am advocating for the least people to die as possible," Professor Foster said.</span><br /><br /><span>"What about everything else that kills people and makes them suffer?</span><br /><br /><span>"Have we even thought about the cost of mental stress and anguish, the unemployment effects?"</span><br /><br /><span>Professor Bowtell said the “Swedish example is a fiasco”.</span><br /><br /><span>"The idea of locking old people in aged care homes, not allowing them to be treated in hospitals — as became the norm in Sweden — is or should be abhorrent.</span><br /><br /><span>"You cannot segment out one sector of the population and ask them to undergo great misery, suffering, death in the interests — spurious interests — of saying all the rest of us will benefit.</span><br /><br /><span>"That's not how societies work."</span></p>

TV

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Get it moving”: Jacqui Lambie advocates for drug testing of welfare recipients

<p>The Morrison government is after welfare recipients as parliament resumes after the winter break and is advocating for cashless welfare card trials across the country.</p> <p>The government has the backing of key Senate crossbencher Jacqui Lambie in the cash welfare card trials.</p> <p>“I’ve always been a big supporter of the cashless welfare cards — I’ve seen the result that has had,” Senator Lambie told reporters in Canberra, according to <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.news.com.au/national/politics/drug-testing-on-agenda-as-parliament-meets/news-story/18920c2d771f76d22e2436a07941ec35" target="_blank"><em>news.com.au</em></a>.</p> <p>“I will say this, though, get those algorithms right because quite frankly it’s taking you way too long, get it moving.”</p> <p>The government is also planning to have another try at passing legislation that will trial drug-testing for welfare recipients.</p> <p>Lambie supports this, but is also calling for her fellow MPs to be drug and alcohol tested.</p> <p>“I want to see the politicians up there grow a spine and you don’t go and put something on someone else that you don’t expect to put on yourself,” she said.</p> <p>“If you’ve got nothing to hide up there in that big white house then it’s now your turn to go and do that random drug and alcohol test. What’s wrong with you people, might miss a few wines after 8 o’clock at night, will we? That’ll keep the backbenchers in line.”</p> <p>The drug and alcohol testing idea has been rejected twice by the previous parliament, but Finance Minister Mathias Cormann is defiant it will work.</p> <p>“We want to support and encourage Australians to deal with any barriers they are facing in terms of getting back into the workforce,” Senator Cormann told the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-09-06/welfare-recipients-drug-testing-new-bill/11483512" target="_blank"><em>ABC</em></a>.</p> <p>“That is, of course, why we believe that through this drug testing trial, that we should assess whether there’s better ways to channel Australians into treatment.”</p> <p>The Australian Medical Association opposes the trial, believing it will stigmatise people.</p> <p>“It may actually make their chance of getting another job later much harder,” AMA federal councillor Chris Moy said.</p> <p>“The next thing is, there’s actually no evidence from international trials that this actually works.”</p> <p>The Labor party has argued that this policy is divisive.</p> <p>The two-year drug testing trials would be rolled out in three locations, which are Logan in Queensland, Canterbury-Bankstown in NSW and Mandurah in WA.</p>

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