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Is there anything good about menopause? Yep, here are 4 things to look forward to

<div class="theconversation-article-body"><a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yvonne-middlewick-1395795">Yvonne Middlewick</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> Menopause is having a bit of <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/13675494231159562">a moment</a>, with less stigma and more awareness about the changes it can bring. A recent senate inquiry <a href="https://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Committees/Senate/Community_Affairs/Menopause/Report">recommended</a> public education about perimenopause and menopause, more affordable treatments and flexible work arrangements. But like many things in life the experiences of menopause are on a continuum. While some women find it challenging and require support, others experience some physical and emotional benefits. These are rarely reported – but we can learn from the research available and, importantly, from people’s lived experiences. Here are four changes to look forward to once you reach menopause. <h2>1. No more periods or related issues</h2> <a href="https://theconversation.com/what-are-the-most-common-symptoms-of-menopause-and-which-can-hormone-therapy-treat-225174">Menopause</a> is considered “complete” 12 months after the final period of a woman (or person assigned female at birth) who previously menstruated. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the benefit at the top of the list is no more periods (unless you are taking hormone therapy and still have your womb). This can be particularly beneficial for women who have had to manage <a href="https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/18/4/1951">erratic, unpredictable and heavy bleeding</a>. At last, you don’t need to keep sanitary protection in every bag “just in case”. No more planning where the bathroom is or having to take extra clothes. And you’ll save money by not purchasing sanitary products. There is also good news for women who have had heavy bleeding due to uterine fibroids – common benign gynaecological tumours that affect up to 80% of women. The evidence <a href="https://journals.lww.com/menopausejournal/abstract/2020/02000/uterine_fibroids_in_menopause_and_perimenopause.17.aspx">suggests</a> hormonal changes (for women not taking hormone therapy) can lead to a reduction in the size of fibroids and relieve symptoms. Women who suffer from menstrual migraine may experience an improvement in migraines post-menopause as their hormonal fluctuations begin to settle – but the timeframe for this <a href="https://www.maturitas.org/article/S0378-5122(20)30329-7/abstract">remains unclear</a>. For some women, no more periods also means more participation in social activities from which they may have been excluded due to periods. For example, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08952841.2014.954502">religious activities or food preparation</a> in some cultures. <h2>2. Getting your body and your groove back</h2> Throughout their reproductive lives, women in heterosexual relationships are usually the ones expected to be <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6115298/">proactive about preventing pregnancy</a>. Some post-menopausal women <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/08952841.2018.1396783">describe</a> a re-emergence of their sexuality and a sense of sexual freedom that they had not previously experienced (despite contraceptive availability) as there is no longer a risk of pregnancy. A participant in my research <a href="https://eprints.soton.ac.uk/451254/">into women’s experiences of menopause</a> described the joy of no longer being child-bearing age: <blockquote> I’ve got a body back for me, you know, coz I can’t get pregnant, not that I haven’t enjoyed having [children] and things like that and it was a decision to get pregnant but I feel like, ooh my body isn’t for anybody now but me, people, you know? </blockquote> For women who have chosen to be child-free there may also be a sense of freedom from social expectations. People will likely stop asking them when they are planning to have children. <h2>3. A new chapter and a time to focus on yourself</h2> Another participant <a href="https://eprints.soton.ac.uk/451254/">described</a> menopause as an unexpected “acceleration point” for change. Women told us they were more accepting of themselves and their needs rather than being focused on the needs of other people. Researchers have previously <a href="https://sk.sagepub.com/books/individualization">tracked this shift</a> from “living for others” to “a life of one’s own”. Some women find the strength of emotions at this time a challenge, whereas others find their potency can <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/3290605.3300710">facilitate liberation</a> – enabling them to speak their minds or be more assertive than at any other time in their lives. <h2>4. Increased self-confidence</h2> A new sense of liberation can fuel increased self-confidence at menopause. This has been <a href="https://doi.org/10.1145/3290605.3300710">reported</a> in studies based on in-depth <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/0167482X.2016.1270937">interviews with women</a>. Confidence boosts can coincide with <a href="https://eprints.soton.ac.uk/451254/">changes in career and sometimes in relationships</a> as priorities and self-advocacy transform. <h2>Life on the other side</h2> It can be hard to think about what is good about menopause, particularly if you are having challenges during perimenopause – but these can get better with time. In <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6910086/">cultures where women are valued as they become older</a>, women describe themselves as positively contributing to the community. They find they gain power and respect as they age. We need to work towards more positive societal attitudes on this front. Our bodies change across the lifespan and are remarkable at every stage, including menopause.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/239725/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/yvonne-middlewick-1395795">Yvonne Middlewick</a>, Nurse, Lecturer & Director of Post-graduate Studies in the School of Nursing and Midwifery, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/edith-cowan-university-720">Edith Cowan University</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/is-there-anything-good-about-menopause-yep-here-are-4-things-to-look-forward-to-239725">original article</a>. </div>

Body

“Never seen anything like it”: Man runs into inferno to save pet dogs

A Perth man has faced danger head on after running back into his burning house to save his pet dogs. He and his mum escaped from the fire at their Winthrop home about 5.30pm on Tuesday. When they realised their two beloved dogs were still inside, the man ran back towards danger and emerged not long after with a dog in each arm. The fire started in the garage and spread throughout the whole house within minutes. “I’ve never seen anything like it before, it went up so quickly,” Winthrop resident Phoebe told 7NEWS. “Everybody was very sombre because it was very sad.” Now, the family has lost a lifetime of memories on top of an accident the mother faced just four months ago after she was run over by a car. “She’s a really lovely lady and she just came out of hospital,” neighbour Grace said. “She just wanted to come back, relax in her house and start her life again and then this happened.” Firefighters had managed to stop the fire from spreading to neighbouring homes, although the cause is yet to be determined. “Due to the ferocity of the fire the houses on either side were at risk so the firefighters did a fantastic job to contain it,” fire investigator Stuart Parks said. Image: 7NEWS

Family & Pets

"I didn't do anything. I love them": Woman who cooked meal with deadly mushrooms speaks out

A Victorian woman who cooked the meal that resulted in the suspected mushroom poisoning, which left three elderly family members dead and one fighting for his life has tearfully broken her silence. Erin Patterson, 48, served the lunch to four people at Leongatha on July 29, including her former in-laws Don and Gail Patterson, who after falling sick later that evening, passed away from symptoms consistent with death cap mushroom poisoning. Gail's sister Heather Wilkinson also passed away, with Heather’s husband, Ian in a critical condition at Melbourne’s Austin Hospital after suffering from the suspected poisoning. "I didn't do anything. I love them," Erin told A Current Affair. A clearly distraught Erin confused Don for Ian, who is currently being treated for his symptoms. "I'm devastated that they're gone and I hope with every fibre of my being that Don pulls through." “I’m so devastated by what’s happened, by the loss of Don, Don is still in hospital, by the loss of Ian and Heather and Gail," she repeated. “They were some of the best people I’ve ever met. “Gail was like the mum I didn’t have because my mum passed away four years ago, Gail had never been anything but good and kind to me,” she added. “Ian and Heather were some of the best people I’d ever met. They never did anything wrong to me. “I’m so devastated about what’s happened and the loss to the community and to the families and to my own children. They've lost their grandmother," she said, and added that she felt "so sorry" that they lost their lives. Erin was interviewed by police and later on released. Officials had also removed her two children from her care as a “precaution”. Homicide Squad Detective Inspector Dean Thomas also added that police are still determining whether this was an accident or a crime. “We’re working to determine what has gone on, to see if there is any nefarious activity that has occurred or if it was accidental.” “We have to keep an open mind,” he said. Police were also still unsure where the mushrooms were sourced from, and that it was a "complex case". Image: A Current Affair

Legal

Coronation quiche? Not if the French have anything to say about it

When the British royal family revealed Charles’ ‘Coronation Quiche’, the internet was sent into a frenzy. From concerns for the nation’s crippling egg crisis to complaints over the entirely uninspired choice, <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/food-wine/king-charles-signature-coronation-dish-mercilessly-mocked">people had a lot to say</a>. And now, the French have chimed in, though their issue isn’t necessarily with the dish itself, but instead with its name. They claim that the celebratory dish has been given an incorrect label. The recipe for the Coronation Quiche - released by Buckingham Palace - calls for broad beans, tarragon, spinach, and absolutely no meat in line with Charles’ environmental concerns. The ingredients are considered by many to be traditionally English, although fresh tarragon is often included in various French dishes. But according to French quiche enthusiasts, there can only be one kind of quiche, and that’s the 'lorraine'. The dish is named after the northeastern Lorraine region that it comes from, and is made from shortcrust pastry, eggs and cream with nutmeg, and small bits of bacon. Although, to sidestep that particular issue, Twitter user @RebeccaCNReid used a little red, white, and very blue language to suggest an alternative name that comes close enough to ‘lorraine’ to get it over the line ... <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> what fucking idiot didn't call it quiche le reign? <a href="https://t.co/EFbCZ52UZN">https://t.co/EFbCZ52UZN</a> — Rebecca Reid (@RebeccaCNReid) <a href="https://twitter.com/RebeccaCNReid/status/1648087895025041409?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 17, 2023</a></blockquote> Evelyne Muller-Derveaux, president of the Quiche Lorraine Guild, explained to The Times that “they called it a quiche, but I would rather say it's a savoury tart. "When you say quiche, you automatically imply it is from the Lorraine region." Evelyne’s associate, Laurent Miltgen-Delinchamp had similar thoughts, quipping that, “I think it would have anyway better reflected the British spirit if they had called it a tart.” However, the two don’t intend on taking their particular gripes any further, and were even willing to admit that in France the term “quiche” is already quite misused. “Frankly,” Laurent said, “it shocks me less when Anglo-Saxons do that than when the French do it.” And as The Times reported, Evelyne took pride in knowing that the humble quiche had been elevated to such royal heights - even if it wasn’t exactly the most authentic. “I was surprised when I found out,” she admitted. “I said to myself, ‘this is a banal, common, popular dish, and to think that it is being served at a coronation’.” She went on to note that the first mention of a quiche - on record - dates all the way back to the reign of another Charles III: the 16th century’s Duke of Lorraine. And even then, they were a simpler dish enjoyed by those who weren’t rolling around in wealth, and consisted of whatever ingredients they happened to have around. Quite unlike the <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/lifestyle/food-wine/coronation-quiche-anyone-you-ll-need-to-fork-out-a-38-here-are-cheaper-and-healthier-options">$38 grocery price tag</a> behind Charles’, it seems. Images: Getty

Food & Wine

10 failsafe picks for the mum who “doesn’t want anything”

For some people, Mother’s Day is easy, with mums dropping gift hints all throughout the year, plus a few timely reminders sprinkled in right before the big day for good measure. For others, it’s a wild guessing game, usually off the back of the annual “oh, you don’t have to get me anything”. And as anyone who’s steered headfirst into that one before knows, it isn’t a risk worth taking. Luckily, the good people over at <a href="https://www.innovations.com.au/p/gifts/mothers-day-gifts?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Innovations</a> - Australia’s most trusted home shopping brand for more than 35 years - have it covered, no matter what your mum’s tastes may be. With an impressive range boasting everything from homewares to garden essentials, beauty, fashion, entertainment, and crafts galore, you’re sure to find something that delights, while giving her the pamper treatment she deserves. And with these ten top picks, you may even snag yourself the title of ‘favourite child’ for 2023. <h3>1. Say goodbye to a chilly reception this winter </h3> <a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/HERHR?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/04/Herbie-Heat-Pack_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></a> There are few things worse in the winter than wanting your hot water bottle, but lacking any motivation to wait around for the water to boil - and then just to cool enough to safely put in there - and often just opting to go without. But that’s where Cuddly Herbie comes in! With its microwave heating capabilities, this cotton friend is the perfect size for a warm hug, is filled with silicone beans, and even comes with a removable polyester cover for mums all across Australia to beat the winter chill. And better yet, it’s good for the whole year - just pop your Herbie Heat Pack in the freezer and in no time you’ll have yourself a cool compress for all those pesky aches and pains. <h3><a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/HERHR?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Herbie Heat Pack, $36.95 – Buy now at Innovations</a></h3> <h3>2. No laundry room? No problem</h3> <a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/MWSHM?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/04/Mini-Washing-Machine_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></a> Anyone who does laundry has - at one point or another - stood in front of their machine debating whether or not they have enough to warrant a full load. And whether the solution was to search the house top to bottom for a few more all-important smelly socks, or to save the chore for another full-basket day, an easier one was within reach all along. With a mini washing machine, a small load is no hassle! No-one needs to feel guilty about it either, with the small appliance using an even smaller share of power and water to get the job done. Standing proud at 28cm tall, and complete with a draining basket and draining pipe, this portable machine isn’t greedy, and only asks for some laundry soap, a wall outlet, and some water to get started. It’s even portable, so if your mum’s been after something to lighten the packing load on her next caravanning trip, this may just be the perfect pick for her. <h3><a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/MWSHM?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Mini Washing Machine, $89.00 – Buy now at Innovations</a></h3> <h3>3. Sudoku? Don’t mind if you do </h3> <a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/DSUDK?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/04/Deluxe-Sudoku-Game_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></a> Some mums enjoy a crossword, and some mums are a little more into numbers, opting to test their brain with a good old sudoku puzzle instead. But no matter which takes your mum’s fancy, you have the power to save her from the frustration of crossing out poor guesses, smudges that refuse to budge, and scribbles that made sense - and only made sense - at the time. With this natural wooden board, measuring in at 24 x 24cm, those issues are a thing of the past! With over 100 printed puzzles to slide in and play, and 81 double-sided number tiles, there’s hours of enjoyment to be found. And best of all, for those who want the fun without the headache, the board comes complete with its very own solution booklet. <h3><a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/DSUDK?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Deluxe Sudoku Game, $39.95 – Buy now at Innovations</a></h3> <h3>4. Can’t lose that, won’t lose that </h3> <a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/COSMO?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/04/Cosmetic-Organiser_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></a> How many times have we heard our mums ask themselves where they’ve put something? Be it their phone, their keys, or even the shoes they last had on, we’ve all joined that search and rescue mission - sometimes even being the ones to ask ourselves. Luckily, your mum need never lose her favourite lipstick again, and reaching for her best moisturiser has never been easier, with this durable cosmetic organiser. Made of an adorable pastel pink plastic, this space-saving wonder features three spacious drawers, a clear acrylic lid for easy viewing - tall enough to hold even those pesky tall bottles - and a handy carry handle, so your mum can keep it out on display, or carry it right along with her on her next big trip. <h3><a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/COSMO?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Cosmetic Organiser, $49.00 – Buy now at Innovations</a></h3> <h3>5. Make cold hands a thing of the past </h3> <a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/HWPB?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/04/Comforting-Hand-Warmer-with-Power-Bank_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></a> Whatever the reason - of which there are dozens - many people are in constant battle with their own cold fingers and toes. And most aren’t particularly keen on the idea of wearing gloves around the house until they warm up, especially if they’re particularly bulky and doomed to get in the way of a task. But with this little hand warmer, knocking out that chill can be done in record time, and all without taking up an unnecessary amount of space in your mum’s cupboard or her bag. This pocket-sized device comes with its very own carry pouch, and warms to 30, 37, or 50°C - it even stays that way for up to an impressive seven hours. It’s easy to charge with the provided USB cable, and even doubles as a powerful rechargeable battery that can charge your smartphone, tablet or any other USB-compatible device on the go. <h3><a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/HWPB?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Comforting Hand Warmer with Power Bank, $19.95 – Buy now at Innovations</a></h3> <h3>6. Don’t keep ‘pilling’ on </h3> <a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/FABSH?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/04/Rechargeable-Fabric-Shaver_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></a> Some clothing lasts an entire lifetime without a loose thread or a lint ball in sight, while other items subscribe more to the ‘blink and you’ve got pilling’ way of life. No mum wants to send herself or her kids - or even her grandkids - out in the world covered like that, and this shaver may be just the thing to give her some peace of mind in the face of another pilling crisis. Perfect for everything from coats to jumpers and plush toys, this fabric shaver makes the most of its stainless steel blades and three-speed motor to get the job done well, and to get it done quickly. It even comes with a lint box that’s no hassle to empty, and can be used just about anywhere - not only is it cordless, but it’s rechargeable, and comes with a USB cord - as well as a cleaning brush to get rid of the most stubborn of lint. <h3><a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/FABSH?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Rechargeable Fabric Shaver, $34.95 – Buy now at Innovations</a></h3> <h3>7. See the light, smell the light</h3> <a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/ADIFF?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/04/Aroma-Diffuser-with-Coloured-Light_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></a> With a sleek wood-grain finish and colour-changing light brand, this show-stopping piece doesn’t just look good - it smells good, too. And if there’s one thing a mum deserves, it’s the opportunity to relax in luxury, even if she’s doing it from the comfort of her own home. All it takes is a few drops of water and some essential oil, and this diffuser does the work from there. And with options that range from a soft and steady light to an entire rainbow cycle of colour, whatever your mum’s mood, she can customise her surroundings to her heart’s content. At just 16 cm tall, it won’t even take up too much space, and comes with a USB cord, with the potential to be powered by a simple phone charger. <h3><a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/ADIFF?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Aroma Diffuser with Coloured Light, $39.95 – Buy now at Innovations</a></h3> <h3>8. Slip into comfort</h3> <a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/23W23?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/04/Cosy-Wool-Lined-Slipper_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></a> One of the hardest things in the colder months is getting out of bed, so if the option was there to slide your feet out of there and straight into some cosy slippers, wouldn’t you take it? Wouldn’t you want your mum to take it? With a fluffy collar, these slippers are a warm and comfy at-home essential, made from a soft suede with a gorgeous wool lining. And with a moulded rubber sole, there’s that little bit of extra support that doesn’t come with your standard slipper socks. Plus, if blue isn’t quite your mum’s colour, these also come in a beautiful dusty pink. <h3><a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/23W23?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Cosy Wool Lined Slipper, $74.00 – Buy now at Innovations</a></h3> <h3>9. Don’t look so puzzled </h3> <a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/61921?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/04/Gridded-Puzzle-Mat_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></a> Jigsaw puzzles not only provide hours - sometimes entire days - of entertainment, but they can also leave you with a fun statement art piece at the end. Granted, of course, that you didn’t lose any pieces along the way. One way to prevent that unfortunate end? A puzzle mat. Able to roll up, these keep puzzles held securely in place for those times you need your table back but don’t quite have the time to finish, or simply need to move to another, comfier location. Sometimes you might start your puzzle alone and later decide to call in reinforcements, and sometimes it goes the other way, after all - too many cooks spoil the broth, too many puzzlers complicate the jigsaw. This mat has guides for jigsaws ranging between 500 and 2000 pieces - with grids at 500, 1000, 1500, and 2000 intervals. So no matter the size of your mum’s project, she doesn’t need to worry about losing track - instead, she can focus her full attention on securing those crucial corner pieces. <h3><a href="http://www.innovations.com.au/product/61921?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Gridded Puzzle Mat, $23.95 – Buy now at Innovations</a></h3> <h3>10. That’s ‘sew’ perfect</h3> <a href="https://www.innovations.com.au/p/craft/accessories/folding-sewing-table?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><img src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/2023/04/Folding-Sewing-Table_1280.jpg" alt="" width="1280" height="720" /></a> While a sewing project can start so, so small, it never takes long for things to expand, and for you to suddenly need far more than you ever thought you might. It can quickly become a pain, getting up and down, to grab whatever it is you’re missing, and can just as quickly drain any enthusiasm in the process. But with this versatile wooden workstation, your mum can have everything with her from the very beginning, and she can do it in style - and from wherever she wants, with its convenient wheels. While folded down, the table measures 59 x 40 x 79 cm high, and while folded out, its entire workspace measures 117 x 40 cm. Additionally, the inside of the station boasts three shelves to store essential tools and supplies, as well as an entire internal shelf dedicated to storing machines while they’re not in use, keeping things neat, tidy, and practical for any avid sewer. <h3><a href="https://www.innovations.com.au/p/craft/accessories/folding-sewing-table?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=nativearticle&utm_campaign=PLD03MdayGifts&affiliate=O60INA" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Folding Sewing Table, $199 – Buy now at Innovations</a> </h3> <h3>To check out all of the incredible Mother’s Day gifts and inspiration for yourself, head on over to the online version of the <a href="https://www.innovations.com.au/catalogues.aspx" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Innovations 2023 Mother’s Day Catalogue</a>. </h3>

Home & Garden

How to make children do anything you ask

A new book by hypnotherapist and neuro-linguistic programming practitioner Alicia Eaton claims that linguistic strategies used to influence adults can be adapted to create obedient little children. In her book, Words That Work: How To Get Kids To Do Almost Anything, Eaton shows how changing words we use and structuring sentences differently can influence children to do almost anything. Here are five of her top tips. 1. Always say what you DO want children to do, and not what you DON'T “We use negative talk and then we're surprised when our children don't do what we want them to,” Eaton says. Eaton suggests turning the phrases around into a positive to get more effective results. 2. Create the illusion of choice If there is a reluctance to do something than give the child an illusion of choice. Pose questions such as, “Which T-shirt will you be wearing this morning, the blue one or the red?” “This pre-supposes that the child has agreed to get dressed and overcomes the impasse,” she explains. 3. Talk as if it's a given that your child will do what you ask “The word ‘when’ is often referred to as the most hypnotic word in the English language. It gently implies that something will be done in the initial instance,” says Eaton. Use this when speaking to children to give the subtle message that the task needs to be done. For example: “When you've tidied your room, we'll have some lunch”, “When you've finished your maths homework, we'll be able to go out to the park” or “When you've put your uniform on, we can go downstairs for breakfast”. 4. Create a linguistic connection between you and your child According to Eaton, creating a link in the language you use can be a powerful way of getting children to listen. She suggests using phrases like “I, like you, realise you have lots of choices in front of you” or “You, like me, realise how much easier it is to do homework with a tidy desk”. 5. Say “thank you” before, rather than after “We're used to thanking people after they've done something for us, but what about thanking before it's been done?” poses Eaton. “This often works well because children naturally want to please people, especially their parents.” 6. Always give your reasoning Eaton says, “By explaining why we're asking for something, our request is more likely to be granted.” She suggests adding a “because” to every request. If you need help with the shopping, she suggests you try: “Can you help me carry the shopping from the car because there are just too many bags for me to do them in one trip.” 7. Front-load your sentences “Front-loading your sentences with phrases such as 'think about it' and 'listen' sends a powerful suggestion to your child to do just that,” says Eaton. Phrases like, “Think about it. How good will it feel once you've finished your homework?” create an incentive for children to finish their homework. 8. Put a positive spin on moaning Eaton suggests reflection or bouncing back negative statements with a positive spin. For example, if your child complains “I'm too hot”, Eaton suggests bouncing back with something positive like “Ah, you'd like to feel cooler. What would make you feel better – opening a window or removing your jacket?” 9. Use leading questions “Using leading questions is a useful language pattern that can help to take your child from a problem to a desired solution,' explains Eaton. Asking questions that put a positive spin on a problem and at the same time help your children feel part of the solution like: “So, you're telling me about how much you hated this year's maths teacher – so you can begin to look forward to the new one you'll be having when you go back to school?” 10. Help your child stop using the “can't” word “To get your child out of this habit, highlight that things can and do change,” says Eaton. “Your child is changing all the time, which means not being able to do something is merely transient.” When children say things like, “I can’t do maths”, Eaton suggests turning it around into, “Ah, you just haven't yet found a way to do that particular exercise yet”. “The idea is to switch focus to talk about what your child can do rather than what they can't,” Eaton explains. Image: Getty Images

Family & Pets

Was there anything real about Elvis Presley?

In Baz Luhrmann’s “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkfplKD46Hs">Elvis</a>,” there’s a scene based on actual conversations that took place between Elvis Presley and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004596/">Steve Binder</a>, the director of <a href="https://www.blogtalkradio.com/feisty-side-of-fifty/2022/04/28/steve-binder-elvis-68-comeback-the-story-behind-the-special">a 1968 NBC television special</a> that signaled the singer’s return to live performing. Binder, an iconoclast unimpressed by Presley’s recent work, had pushed Elvis to reach back into his past to revitalize a career stalled by years of mediocre movies and soundtrack albums. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_I4h_Wm_aY">According to the director</a>, their exchanges left the performer engrossed in <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/08/elvis-presley-comeback-special-1968-50th-anniversary">deep soul-searching</a>. In the trailer to Luhrmann’s biopic, a version of this back-and-forth plays out: Elvis, portrayed by Austin Butler, says to the camera, “I’ve got to get back to who I really am.” Two frames later, Dacre Montgomery, playing Binder, asks, “And who are you, Elvis?” As a <a href="https://www.press.uillinois.edu/books/?id=p072703">scholar of southern history</a> who has written a book about Elvis, I still find myself wondering the same thing. Presley never wrote a memoir. Nor did he keep a diary. Once, when informed of a potential biography in the works, <a href="https://www.proquest.com/magazines/making-presley-biography/docview/2509565622/se-2?accountid=196683">he expressed doubt</a> that there was even a story to tell. Over the years, he had submitted to numerous interviews and press conferences, but the quality of these exchanges was erratic, frequently characterized by superficial answers to even shallower questions. His music could have been a window into his inner life, but since he wasn’t a songwriter, his material depended on the words of others. Even the rare revelatory gems – songs like “If I Can Dream,” “Separate Ways” or “My Way” – didn’t fully penetrate the veil shrouding the man. Binder’s philosophical inquiry, then, was not merely philosophical. Countless fans and scholars have long wanted to know: Who was Elvis, really? <h2>A barometer for the nation</h2> Pinpointing Presley can depend on when and whom you ask. At the dawn of his career, admirers and critics alike branded him the “<a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Elvis_Presley/NqCQo9nqVHYC?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22elvis%22+%22bobbie+ann+mason%22&printsec=frontcover">Hillbilly Cat</a>.” Then he became the “King of Rock ‘n’ Roll,” a <a href="https://www.historynet.com/rock-n-roll-n-race-a-fresh-look-at-the-keystone-of-the-elvis-presley-legend/">musical monarch</a> that promoters placed on a mythical throne. But for many, he was always the “<a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/mono/10.4324/9780203700648-22/king-white-trash-culture-elvis-presley-aesthetics-excess-annalee-newitz-matt-wray">King of White Trash Culture</a>” – a working-class white southern rags-to-riches story that <a href="https://www.elvis-collectors.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=51286&sid=9bb9e7df80f341cfbdcc376d828e8d21">never quite convinced the national establishment</a> of his legitimacy. These overlapping identities capture the provocative fusion of class, race, gender, region and commerce that Elvis embodied. Perhaps the most contentious aspect of his identity was the singer’s relationship to race. As a white artist who profited greatly from the popularization of a style associated with African Americans, Presley, throughout his career, worked under <a href="https://www.southerncultures.org/article/elvis-presley-politics-popular-memory/%20%22%22">the shadow and suspicion of racial appropriation</a>. The connection was complicated and fluid, to be sure. <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2022/05/25/elvis-presley-rock-and-roll-graceland/%20%22%22">Quincy Jones</a> met and worked with Presley in early 1956 as the musical director of CBS-TV’s “Stage Show.” In his 2002 <a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Q/zs1ixtkcJU8C?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22quincy+jones%22+%22memoir%22+%22elvis%22&printsec=frontcover">autobiography</a>, Jones noted that Elvis should be listed with Frank Sinatra, the Beatles, Stevie Wonder, and Michael Jackson as pop music’s greatest innovators. However, by 2021, in the midst of a changing racial climate, <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/music-news/quincy-jones-michael-jackson-elvis-presley-1234955138/">Jones was dismissing Presley as an unabashed racist</a>. Elvis seems to serve as a barometer measuring America’s various tensions, with the gauge less about Presley and more about the nation’s pulse at any given moment. <h2>You are what you consume</h2> But I think there’s another way to think about Elvis – one that might put into context many of the questions surrounding him. <a href="https://nationalhumanitiescenter.org/fellows-book/a-troubled-feast-american-society-since-1945/">Historian William Leuchtenburg</a> once characterized Presley as a “consumer culture hero,” a manufactured commodity more image than substance. The assessment was negative; it also was incomplete. It didn’t consider how a consumerist disposition may have shaped Elvis prior to his becoming an entertainer. Presley reached adolescence as a post-World War II consumer economy was hitting its stride. A product of unprecedented affluence and pent-up demand caused by depression and wartime sacrifice, it provided almost <a href="https://americanhistory.si.edu/highlights-guide-consumer">unlimited opportunities for those seeking to entertain and define themselves</a>. The teenager from Memphis, Tennessee, took advantage of these opportunities. Riffing off the idiom “you are what you eat,” Elvis became what <a href="https://kennedy.byu.edu/you-are-what-you-eat/">he consumed</a>. During his formative years, he shopped at <a href="https://lanskybros.com/">Lansky Brothers</a>, a clothier on Beale Street that outfitted African American performers and provided him with secondhand pink-and-black ensembles. He tuned into the radio station <a href="https://www.blackpast.org/african-american-history/wdia-radio-station-1947/">WDIA</a>, where he soaked up gospel and rhythm and blues tunes, along with the vernacular of black disk jockeys. He turned the dial to WHBQ’s “Red, Hot, and Blue,” a program that had <a href="https://memphismusichalloffame.com/inductee/deweyphillips/">Dewey Phillips</a> spinning an eclectic mix of R&B, pop and country. He visited <a href="https://www.poplartunes.com/">Poplar Tunes</a> and <a href="http://thedeltareview.com/album-reviews/the-young-willie-mitchell-and-ruben-cherrys-home-of-the-blues-records/">Home of the Blues</a> record stores, where he purchased the music dancing in his head. And at the <a href="http://cinematreasures.org/theaters/4183">Loew’s State</a> and <a href="http://cinematreasures.org/theaters/14070">Suzore #2</a> movie theaters, he took in the latest Marlon Brando or Tony Curtis movies, imagining in the dark how to emulate their demeanor, sideburns, and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ducktail">ducktails</a>. In short, he gleaned from the nation’s burgeoning consumer culture the persona that the world would come to know. Elvis alluded to this in 1971 when he provided a rare glimpse into his psyche upon receiving a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9HWlYoR40A%20%22%22">Jaycees Award</a> as one of the nation’s Ten Outstanding Young Men “When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times … I’d like to say that I learned very early in life that ‘without a song, the day would never end. Without a song, a man ain’t got a friend. Without a song, the road would never bend. Without a song.’ So, I’ll keep singing a song.” In that acceptance speech, he quoted “<a href="https://www.loc.gov/item/ihas.200215452/">Without a Song</a>,” a standard tune performed by artists including Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, and Roy Hamilton – seamlessly presenting the lyrics as if they were words directly applicable to his own life experiences. <h2>A loaded question</h2> Does this make the Jaycees recipient some sort of “odd, lonely child reaching for eternity,” as Tom Parker, played by Tom Hanks, tells an adult Presley in the new “Elvis” film? I don’t think so. Instead, I see him as someone who simply devoted his life to consumption, a not uncommon late 20th-century behavior. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/education/2002/dec/19/highereducation.uk2">Scholars have noted that</a> whereas Americans once defined themselves through their genealogy, jobs, or faith, they increasingly started to identify themselves through their tastes – and, by proxy, what they consumed. As <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-the-self-and-i/201904/how-do-we-form-identities-in-consumer-society">Elvis crafted his identity</a> and pursued his craft, he did the same. It also was evident in how he spent most of his downtime. A tireless worker on stage and in the recording studio, those settings nevertheless demanded relatively little of his time. For most of the 1960s, he made three movies annually, each taking no more than a month to complete. That was the extent of <a href="https://theconversation.com/elvis-presley-was-paid-a-kings-ransom-for-sub-par-movies-because-they-were-marketing-gold-81586">his professional obligations</a>. From 1969 to his death in 1977, only 797 out of 2,936 days were devoted to performing <a href="https://www.concertarchives.org/bands/elvis-presley">concerts</a> or recording in the <a href="https://blackgold.org/GroupedWork/d29f6423-5784-ccf6-6ca1-cff37b9081e9-eng/Home">studio</a>. Most of his time was dedicated to vacationing, playing sports, riding motorcycles, zipping around on go-karts, horseback riding, watching TV and eating. By the time he died, Elvis was a shell of his former self. Overweight, bored, and chemically dependent, he appeared <a href="https://www.salon.com/2018/04/07/elvis-in-his-prime-was-america-now-america-is-elvis-in-decline/">spent</a>. A few weeks before his demise, a Soviet publication <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1977/07/29/archives/notes-on-people.html">described him</a> as “wrecked” – a “pitilessly” dumped product victimized by the American consumerist system. Elvis Presley proved that consumerism, when channeled productively, could be creative and liberating. He likewise demonstrated that left unrestrained, it could be empty and destructive. Luhrmann’s movie promises to reveal a great deal about one of the most captivating and enigmatic figures of our time. But I have a hunch it will also tell Americans a lot about themselves. “Who are you, Elvis?” the trailer hauntingly probes. Maybe the answer is easier than we think. He’s all of us. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared in <a href="https://theconversation.com/was-there-anything-real-about-elvis-presley-184902" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Music

Was there anything real about Elvis Presley?

In Baz Luhrmann’s “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkfplKD46Hs" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Elvis</a>,” there’s a scene based on actual conversations that took place between Elvis Presley and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004596/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Steve Binder</a>, the director of <a href="https://www.blogtalkradio.com/feisty-side-of-fifty/2022/04/28/steve-binder-elvis-68-comeback-the-story-behind-the-special" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a 1968 NBC television special</a> that signaled the singer’s return to live performing. Binder, an iconoclast unimpressed by Presley’s recent work, had pushed Elvis to reach back into his past to revitalize a career stalled by years of mediocre movies and soundtrack albums. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_I4h_Wm_aY" target="_blank" rel="noopener">According to the director</a>, their exchanges left the performer engrossed in <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/08/elvis-presley-comeback-special-1968-50th-anniversary" target="_blank" rel="noopener">deep soul-searching</a>. In the trailer to Luhrmann’s biopic, a version of this back-and-forth plays out: Elvis, portrayed by Austin Butler, says to the camera, “I’ve got to get back to who I really am.” Two frames later, Dacre Montgomery, playing Binder, asks, “And who are you, Elvis?” As a <a href="https://www.press.uillinois.edu/books/?id=p072703" target="_blank" rel="noopener">scholar of southern history</a> who has written a book about Elvis, I still find myself wondering the same thing. Presley never wrote a memoir. Nor did he keep a diary. Once, when informed of a potential biography in the works, <a href="https://www.proquest.com/magazines/making-presley-biography/docview/2509565622/se-2?accountid=196683" target="_blank" rel="noopener">he expressed doubt</a> that there was even a story to tell. Over the years, he had submitted to numerous interviews and press conferences, but the quality of these exchanges was erratic, frequently characterized by superficial answers to even shallower questions. His music could have been a window into his inner life, but since he wasn’t a songwriter, his material depended on the words of others. Even the rare revelatory gems – songs like “If I Can Dream,” “Separate Ways” or “My Way” – didn’t fully penetrate the veil shrouding the man. Binder’s philosophical inquiry, then, was not merely philosophical. Countless fans and scholars have long wanted to know: Who was Elvis, really? <h2>A barometer for the nation</h2> Pinpointing Presley can depend on when and whom you ask. At the dawn of his career, admirers and critics alike branded him the “<a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Elvis_Presley/NqCQo9nqVHYC?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22elvis%22+%22bobbie+ann+mason%22&printsec=frontcover" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Hillbilly Cat</a>.” Then he became the “King of Rock ‘n’ Roll,” a <a href="https://www.historynet.com/rock-n-roll-n-race-a-fresh-look-at-the-keystone-of-the-elvis-presley-legend/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">musical monarch</a> that promoters placed on a mythical throne. But for many, he was always the “<a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/mono/10.4324/9780203700648-22/king-white-trash-culture-elvis-presley-aesthetics-excess-annalee-newitz-matt-wray" target="_blank" rel="noopener">King of White Trash Culture</a>” – a working-class white southern rags-to-riches story that <a href="https://www.elvis-collectors.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=51286&sid=9bb9e7df80f341cfbdcc376d828e8d21" target="_blank" rel="noopener">never quite convinced the national establishment</a> of his legitimacy. These overlapping identities capture the provocative fusion of class, race, gender, region and commerce that Elvis embodied. Perhaps the most contentious aspect of his identity was the singer’s relationship to race. As a white artist who profited greatly from the popularization of a style associated with African Americans, Presley, throughout his career, worked under <a href="https://www.southerncultures.org/article/elvis-presley-politics-popular-memory/%20%22%22" target="_blank" rel="noopener">the shadow and suspicion of racial appropriation</a>. The connection was complicated and fluid, to be sure. <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/magazine/2022/05/25/elvis-presley-rock-and-roll-graceland/%20%22%22" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Quincy Jones</a> met and worked with Presley in early 1956 as the musical director of CBS-TV’s “Stage Show.” In his 2002 <a href="https://www.google.com/books/edition/Q/zs1ixtkcJU8C?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22quincy+jones%22+%22memoir%22+%22elvis%22&printsec=frontcover" target="_blank" rel="noopener">autobiography</a>, Jones noted that Elvis should be listed with Frank Sinatra, the Beatles, Stevie Wonder, and Michael Jackson as pop music’s greatest innovators. However, by 2021, in the midst of a changing racial climate, <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/music-news/quincy-jones-michael-jackson-elvis-presley-1234955138/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Jones was dismissing Presley as an unabashed racist</a>. Elvis seems to serve as a barometer measuring America’s various tensions, with the gauge less about Presley and more about the nation’s pulse at any given moment. <h2>You are what you consume</h2> But I think there’s another way to think about Elvis – one that might put into context many of the questions surrounding him. <a href="https://nationalhumanitiescenter.org/fellows-book/a-troubled-feast-american-society-since-1945/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Historian William Leuchtenburg</a> once characterized Presley as a “consumer culture hero,” a manufactured commodity more image than substance. The assessment was negative; it also was incomplete. It didn’t consider how a consumerist disposition may have shaped Elvis prior to his becoming an entertainer. Presley reached adolescence as a post-World War II consumer economy was hitting its stride. A product of unprecedented affluence and pent-up demand caused by depression and wartime sacrifice, it provided almost <a href="https://americanhistory.si.edu/highlights-guide-consumer" target="_blank" rel="noopener">unlimited opportunities for those seeking to entertain and define themselves</a>. The teenager from Memphis, Tennessee, took advantage of these opportunities. Riffing off the idiom “you are what you eat,” Elvis became what <a href="https://kennedy.byu.edu/you-are-what-you-eat/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">he consumed</a>. During his formative years, he shopped at <a href="https://lanskybros.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Lansky Brothers</a>, a clothier on Beale Street that outfitted African American performers and provided him with secondhand pink-and-black ensembles. He tuned into the radio station <a href="https://www.blackpast.org/african-american-history/wdia-radio-station-1947/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">WDIA</a>, where he soaked up gospel and rhythm and blues tunes, along with the vernacular of black disk jockeys. He turned the dial to WHBQ’s “Red, Hot, and Blue,” a program that had <a href="https://memphismusichalloffame.com/inductee/deweyphillips/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Dewey Phillips</a> spinning an eclectic mix of R&B, pop and country. He visited <a href="https://www.poplartunes.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Poplar Tunes</a> and <a href="http://thedeltareview.com/album-reviews/the-young-willie-mitchell-and-ruben-cherrys-home-of-the-blues-records/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Home of the Blues</a> record stores, where he purchased the music dancing in his head. And at the <a href="http://cinematreasures.org/theaters/4183" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Loew’s State</a> and <a href="http://cinematreasures.org/theaters/14070" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Suzore #2</a> movie theaters, he took in the latest Marlon Brando or Tony Curtis movies, imagining in the dark how to emulate their demeanor, sideburns, and <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ducktail" target="_blank" rel="noopener">ducktails</a>. In short, he gleaned from the nation’s burgeoning consumer culture the persona that the world would come to know. Elvis alluded to this in 1971 when he provided a rare glimpse into his psyche upon receiving a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9HWlYoR40A%20%22%22" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Jaycees Award</a> as one of the nation’s Ten Outstanding Young Men: <blockquote> “When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times … I’d like to say that I learned very early in life that ‘without a song, the day would never end. Without a song, a man ain’t got a friend. Without a song, the road would never bend. Without a song.’ So, I’ll keep singing a song.” </blockquote> In that acceptance speech, he quoted “<a href="https://www.loc.gov/item/ihas.200215452/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Without a Song</a>,” a standard tune performed by artists including Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, and Roy Hamilton – seamlessly presenting the lyrics as if they were words directly applicable to his own life experiences. <h2>A loaded question</h2> Does this make the Jaycees recipient some sort of “odd, lonely child reaching for eternity,” as Tom Parker, played by Tom Hanks, tells an adult Presley in the new “Elvis” film? I don’t think so. Instead, I see him as someone who simply devoted his life to consumption, a not uncommon late 20th-century behavior. <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/education/2002/dec/19/highereducation.uk2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Scholars have noted that</a> whereas Americans once defined themselves through their genealogy, jobs, or faith, they increasingly started to identify themselves through their tastes – and, by proxy, what they consumed. As <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/me-the-self-and-i/201904/how-do-we-form-identities-in-consumer-society" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Elvis crafted his identity</a> and pursued his craft, he did the same. It also was evident in how he spent most of his downtime. A tireless worker on stage and in the recording studio, those settings nevertheless demanded relatively little of his time. For most of the 1960s, he made three movies annually, each taking no more than a month to complete. That was the extent of <a href="https://theconversation.com/elvis-presley-was-paid-a-kings-ransom-for-sub-par-movies-because-they-were-marketing-gold-81586" target="_blank" rel="noopener">his professional obligations</a>. From 1969 to his death in 1977, only 797 out of 2,936 days were devoted to performing <a href="https://www.concertarchives.org/bands/elvis-presley" target="_blank" rel="noopener">concerts</a> or recording in the <a href="https://blackgold.org/GroupedWork/d29f6423-5784-ccf6-6ca1-cff37b9081e9-eng/Home" target="_blank" rel="noopener">studio</a>. Most of his time was dedicated to vacationing, playing sports, riding motorcycles, zipping around on go-karts, horseback riding, watching TV and eating. By the time he died, Elvis was a shell of his former self. Overweight, bored, and chemically dependent, he appeared <a href="https://www.salon.com/2018/04/07/elvis-in-his-prime-was-america-now-america-is-elvis-in-decline/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">spent</a>. A few weeks before his demise, a Soviet publication <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1977/07/29/archives/notes-on-people.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">described him</a> as “wrecked” – a “pitilessly” dumped product victimized by the American consumerist system. Elvis Presley proved that consumerism, when channeled productively, could be creative and liberating. He likewise demonstrated that left unrestrained, it could be empty and destructive. Luhrmann’s movie promises to reveal a great deal about one of the most captivating and enigmatic figures of our time. But I have a hunch it will also tell Americans a lot about themselves. “Who are you, Elvis?” the trailer hauntingly probes. Maybe the answer is easier than we think. He’s all of us. This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/was-there-anything-real-about-elvis-presley-184902" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. Image: Getty

Movies

A new book argues Julian Assange is being tortured. Will our new PM do anything about it?

It is easy to forget why Julian Assange has been on trial in England for, well, seemingly forever. Didn’t he allegedly sexually assault two women in Sweden? Isn’t that why he holed up for years in the Ecuadorian embassy in London to avoid facing charges? When the bobbies finally dragged him out of the embassy, didn’t his dishevelled appearance confirm all those stories about his lousy personal hygiene? Didn’t he persuade Chelsea (formerly Bradley) Manning to hack into the United States military’s computers to reveal national security matters that endangered the lives of American soldiers and intelligence agents? He says he is a journalist, but hasn’t the New York Times made it clear he is just a “source” and not a publisher entitled to first amendment protection? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, you are not alone. But the answers are actually no. At very least, it’s more complicated than that. To take one example, the reason Assange was dishevelled was that staff in the Ecuadorian embassy had confiscated his shaving gear three months before to ensure his appearance matched his stereotype when the arrest took place. That is one of the findings of the United Nations Special Rapporteur on Torture, Nils Melzer, whose investigation of the case against Assange has been laid out in forensic detail in <a href="https://www.bloomsbury.com/au/trial-of-julian-assange-9781839766220/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Trial of Julian Assange</a>. What is the UN’s Special Rapporteur on Torture doing investigating the Assange case, you might ask? So did Melzer when Assange’s lawyers first approached him in 2018: <blockquote> I had more important things to do: I had to take care of “real” torture victims! </blockquote> Melzer returned to a report he was writing about overcoming prejudice and self-deception when dealing with official corruption. “Not until a few months later,” he writes, “would I realise the striking irony of this situation.” The 47 members of the UN Human Rights Council directly appoint <a href="https://www.ohchr.org/en/special-procedures/sr-torture" target="_blank" rel="noopener">special rapporteurs on torture</a>. The position is unpaid – Melzer earns his living as a professor of international law – but they have diplomatic immunity and operate largely outside the UN’s hierarchies. Among the many pleas for his attention, Melzer’s small office chooses between 100 and 200 each year to officially investigate. His conclusions and recommendations are not binding on states. He bleakly notes that in barely 10% of cases does he receive full co-operation from states and an adequate resolution. He received nothing like full co-operation in investigating Assange’s case. He gathered around 10,000 pages of procedural files, but a lot of them came from leaks to journalists or from freedom-of-information requests. Many pages had been redacted. Rephrasing <a href="https://www.britannica.com/biography/Carl-von-Clausewitz" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Carl Von Clausewitz</a>’s maxim, Melzer wrote his book as “the continuation of diplomacy by other means”. What he finds is stark and disturbing: <blockquote> The Assange case is the story of a man who is being persecuted and abused for exposing the dirty secrets of the powerful, including war crimes, torture and corruption. It is a story of deliberate judicial arbitrariness in Western democracies that are otherwise keen to present themselves as exemplary in the area of human rights. It is the story of wilful collusion by intelligence services behind the back of national parliaments and the general public. It is a story of manipulated and manipulative reporting in the mainstream media for the purpose of deliberately isolating, demonizing, and destroying a particular individual. It is the story of a man who has been scapegoated by all of us for our own societal failures to address government corruption and state-sanctioned crimes. <h2>Collateral murder</h2> The dirty secrets of the powerful are difficult to face, which is why we – and I don’t exclude myself – swallow neatly packaged slurs and diversions of the kind listed at the beginning of this article. Melzer rightly takes us back to April 2010, four years after the Australian-born Assange had founded WikiLeaks, a small organisation set up to publish official documents that it had received, encrypted so as to protect whistle-blowers from official retribution. Assange released video footage showing in horrifying detail how US soldiers in a helicopter had shot and killed Iraqi civilians and two Reuters journalists in 2007. Apart from how the soldiers spoke – “Hahaha, I hit them”, “Nice”, “Good shot” – it looks like most of the victims were civilians and that the journalists’ cameras were mistaken for rifles. When one of the wounded men tried to crawl to safety, the helicopter crew, instead of allowing their comrades on the ground to take him prisoner, as required by the rules of war, seek permission to shoot him again. As Melzer’s detailed description makes clear, the soldiers knew what they were doing: <blockquote> “Come on, buddy,” the gunner comments, aiming the crosshairs at his helpless target. “All you gotta do is pick up a weapon.” </blockquote> The soldiers’ request for authorisation to shoot is given. When the wounded man is carried to a nearby minibus, it is shot to pieces with the helicopter’s 30mm gun. The driver and two other rescuers are killed instantly. The driver’s two young children inside are seriously wounded. US army command investigated the matter, concluding that the soldiers acted in accordance with the rules of war, even though they had not. Equally to the point, writes Melzer, the public would never have known a war crime had been committed without the release of what Assange called the “Collateral Murder” video. The video footage was just one of hundreds of thousands of documents that WikiLeaks released last year in tranches known as the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2010/jul/25/afghanistan-war-logs-military-leaks" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Afghan war logs</a>, the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2010/oct/22/iraq-war-logs-military-leaks" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Iraq war logs</a>, and <a href="https://theweek.com/articles/488953/wikileaks-cablegate-dump-10-biggest-revelations" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cablegate</a>. They revealed numerous alleged war crimes and provided the raw material for a shadow history of the disastrous wars waged by the US and its allies, including Australia, in Aghanistan and Iraq. <h2>Punished forever</h2> Melzer retraces what has happened to Assange since then, from the accusations of sexual assault in Sweden to Assange taking refuge in the Ecuadorian embassy in London in an attempt to avoid the possibility of extradition to the US if he returned to Sweden. His refuge led to him being jailed in the United Kingdom for breaching his bail conditions. Sweden eventually dropped the sexual assault charges, but the US government ramped up its request to extradite Assange. He faces charges under the 1917 Espionage Act, which, if successful, could lead to a jail term of 175 years. Two key points become increasingly clear as Melzer methodically works through the events. The first is that there has been a carefully orchestrated plan by four countries – the United States, the United Kingdom, Sweden and, yes, Australia – to ensure Assange is punished forever for revealing state secrets. The second is that the conditions he has been subjected to, and will continue to be subjected to if the US’s extradition request is granted, have amounted to torture. On the first point, how else are we to interpret the continual twists and turns over nearly a decade in the official positions taken by Sweden and the UK? Contrary to the obfuscating language of official communiques, all of these have closed down Assange’s options and denied him due process. Melzer documents the thinness of the Swedish authorities’ case for charging Assange with sexual assault. That did not prevent them from keeping it open for many years. Nor was Assange as unco-operative with police as has been suggested. Swedish police kept changing their minds about where and whether to formally interview Assange because they knew the evidence was weak. Melzer also takes pains to show how Swedish police also overrode the interests of the two women who had made the complaints against Assange. It is distressing to read the conditions Assange has endured over several years. A change in the political leadership of Ecuador led to a change in his living conditions in the embassy, from cramped but bearable to virtual imprisonment. Since being taken from the embassy to Belmarsh prison in 2019, Assange has spent much of his time in solitary confinement for 22 or 23 hours a day. He has been denied all but the most limited access to his legal team, let alone family and friends. He was kept in a glass cage during his seemingly interminable extradition hearing, appeals over which could continue for several years more years, according to Melzer. Assange’s physical and mental health have suffered to the point where he has been put on suicide watch. Again, that seems to be the point, as Melzer writes: <blockquote> The primary purpose of persecuting Assange is not – and never has been – to punish him personally, but to establish a generic precedent with a global deterrent effect on other journalist, publicists and activists. </blockquote> So will the new Australian prime minister, Anthony Albanese, do any more than his three Coalition and two Labor predecessors to advocate for the interests of an Australian citizen? In December 2021, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/jun/02/labor-backbenchers-urge-albanese-to-stay-true-to-his-values-on-julian-assange-trial" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Guardian Australia reported</a> Albanese saying he did “not see what purpose is served by the ongoing pursuit of Mr Assange” and that “enough is enough”. Since being sworn in as prime minister, he has kept his cards close to his chest. The actions of his predecessors suggest he won’t, even though Albanese has already said on several occasions since being elected that he wants to do politics differently. Melzer, among others, would remind him of the words of <a href="https://theelders.org/news/only-us-president-who-didnt-wage-war" target="_blank" rel="noopener">former US president Jimmy Carter</a>, who, contrary to other presidents, said he did not deplore the WikiLeaks revelations. <blockquote> They just made public what was the truth. Most often, the revelation of truth, even if it’s unpleasant, is beneficial. […] I think that, almost invariably, the secrecy is designed to conceal improper activities. This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/a-new-book-argues-julian-assange-is-being-tortured-will-our-new-pm-do-anything-about-it-183622" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. Image: Shutterstock </blockquote> </blockquote>

Books

Readers respond: Is there anything you regret not asking your parents?

We asked our readers whether there was anything they regretted not asking their parents, and the response was overwhelming. From family histories to stories from their own lives, here’s what you wished you’d asked. Maureen Collins - I wish I had of listened to her stories. Dorathy Helen Dawes - I regret not asking my father questions about family stories and history while he lived. Thankfully, I did get to ask my mother for her family stories. Roman Frackiewicz - My dad's POW experience, the DP camp experiences before emigration, his family, the political environment in pre WWII Poland from his perspective, his life. Margaret Inglis - I wish I'd taken more notice of things they had said/told me as I was growing up. I am referring to family history etc. I have copies of birth certificates etc as my father had looked into some genealogy, but this was before the internet. He often spoke about his family background, I also have his diaries from the early '30s, so I have some knowledge. Yvone Osborn - So many things - When we're young life tends to get in the way, and then it's too late when we think of things we'd really like to know answers to! Jacqueline Evans - Yes, I lost my Mum earlier this year and everyday, something comes to mind. Along with daily things, I think “Oh I must tell/ask Mum this”. Margaret Leonard - Where do I start, it's not till they have gone, that you needed to know that question or thing and it's too late then. Lyn Miner - Yes, I would ask my mum everything she could think about her father. I don't think I will ever know who he really was. Image: Getty Images

Caring

"It had no bearing on anything": Martin Bashir responds to Princess Di accusations

Veteran journalist Martin Bashir has said he "never wanted to harm" Diana, Princess of Wales, with his now disgraced BBC Panorama interview, telling the Sunday Times newspaper, "I don't believe we did." In the 1995 world exclusive interview, Princess Diana confirmed Prince Charles' relationship with Camilla Parker Bowles and described in frank detail how she believed royal life had made her bulimic. An independent investigation published 25 years later by the BBC and led by retired judge Lord Dyson called the tactics Bashir used to secure the sit-down "deceitful". The report revealed the then-32-year-old journalist forged documents to suggest Palace staff were being paid to spy on the princess. Bashir then allegedly presented those documents to Diana's brother, Earl Charles Spencer, who then introduced him to Diana. The report also found an internal BBC inquiry in 1996 covered up Bashir's malpractice. Bashir left his role at the BBC earlier this month citing health reasons before the findings were released Thursday. Speaking to the Sunday Times, he said him and Diana "were friends" and continued to be close after the interview was broadcast, with the princess even paying a visit to his wife at the hospital shortly after the birth of their third child. “We loved her. That’s what we wanted to protect, and that’s why I have never taken money, never said anything, never written anything,” he said. “Everything we did in terms of the interview was as she wanted, from when she wanted to alert the palace, to when it was broadcast, to its contents ... My family and I loved her.” In the Sunday Times interview, Bashir expressed his sorrow over showing the fake bank statements to the princess’ brother, but insisted I didn’t harm the princess. “Obviously I regret it, it was wrong. But it had no bearing on anything. It had no bearing on (Diana), it had no bearing on the interview,” he said.

News

"Never seen anything like it": Snake catcher's horrific find in family home

A snake catcher was left in shock after finding 57 snake skins in a family's attic in Queensland. Reid Newell from Snake Catchers Brisbane & Gold Coast was called to the home where he found 57 snake skins in a 7 x 7 metre roof space of the family's new home. "I've never seen anything like it, I've been in quite a lot of roofs, and the most I've seen before that was maybe four or five, so this was a massive jump," Mr Newell told the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.couriermail.com.au/news/queensland/stuff-of-nightmares-terrifying-evidence-that-home-was-infested-with-snakes/news-story/c18e563771c4025dece7236dc4024d02" target="_blank">Courier Mail</a>. <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fwww.snakecatchers.com.au%2Fposts%2F1532113400310601&width=500&show_text=true&height=677&appId" width="500" height="677" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="true" allow="autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; picture-in-picture; web-share"></iframe> Newell said that the photo only showed a small amount of the shedded skins he found in the property. "I couldn't say how many snakes it was from, but it definitely wasn't one. It wasn't just from the one species either, there was carpet python sheds in there, and also common tree snake sheds." He predicted that the former owners of the home had poultry which attracted mice to the home which then attracted snakes. Newell didn't find a single snake on the property, which was surprising to the family who called him in. "The owners were pretty cool about it, they were also shocked," he said. "I told them the amount of skins from multiple species was crazy to me and I think they thought that was pretty cool."

Travel Trouble

Malcolm Turnbull weighs in on “bully” China: “Never seen anything like it”

Former Australian prime minister Malcolm Turnbull has weighed in on the rift with China, and urged the government to “not give in to this bully.” The two nations have had a tense relationship over the last week, after China’s foreign ministry spokesperson Zhao Lijian shared a disturbing doctored image showing an Australian soldier slitting the throat of an Afghan child. The post was slammed as “repugnant” by Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison, and resulted in the two leaders combatting with words. This led to another disturbing cartoon released by state-run news organisation The Global Times, that featured Mr Morrison and Australia’s alleged war crimes. Mr Turnbull gave a word of advice to the government on Thursday, telling 9News "we just need to let the temperature lower or at least do nothing to raise it ourselves”. An official from the Chinese embassy has reportedly given the media outlet a list of 14 grievances, which includes several of Turnull’s own policies, including foreign interference laws that “targeted China” and banning Huawei from the rollout of the 5G network. Mr Turnbull blasted the list as "utterly counterproductive” and “not acceptable”, before saying the best thing to do with that list was “bin it”. "There's a reason why governments don't conduct themselves in this way," he said. "I've never seen anything like it before.” Mr Turnbull said China’s behaviour only hurt their own image and urged Australia not to give in to playground antics. "The one thing you can guarantee will see more bullying is if you start giving in to bullies,” he said. "Is this style of diplomacy increasing China's influence around the world? No, it's diminishing it. "Australians can see there is transparently, plain bullying, attempted bullying going on. “The government's obviously got to respond to this astutely and carefully but it certainly shouldn't be giving into this bully or any others."

News

“Anything but a fairy tale”: Duchess Meghan wants to set the record straight about life in the royal family

The Duchess of Sussex wants the biography on her and Prince Harry’s life to be released sooner rather than later because she hopes the book would clear the air on why the couple chose to leave the royal family. According to an insider, the upcoming book titled Finding Freedom: Harry, Meghan and the Making of a Modern Royal Family by journalists Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand is expected to be released around the world online on August 11, with the hard copy on sale from August 20. But Meghan seemingly wants an earlier release date, with a friend explaining: “If Meghan had it her way, the book would be released tomorrow instead of three months from now. “She said the book will finally set the record straight and show the world why they were left with no other choice than to leave the royal life.” Meghan wants readers to understand that despite joining the royal family, her life hasn’t been a fairy tale like many assume. She also wants people to see “the genuine person that she is” and hopes to “shatter this image of being a demanding diva,” added the insider. Meghan and Harry sent shockwaves throughout the world in January when they announced their departure from the royal family, and instead, chose to become financially independent, splitting their time between the United Kingdom and North America. While the pair have wealthy friends and a high-flying lifestyle, the insider revealed that Meghan “desperately wants to shatter this image of being a demanding diva who was rude to royal staffers and others on her quest for fame and power. “She said the book will help give her and Harry a clean slate. Meghan seems to think the readers will finally understand the monumental anguish and turmoil she had to endure with a stuff upper lip. “Meghan said people need to see her vulnerable side, something the book does in great detail.” Her friend added: “I think [Meghan] wants people to feel sorry for her, or at least have compassion for her and all she’s been through, which has been anything but a fairy tale.”

Beauty & Style

12 proven steps to truly forgive anyone for anything

Robert Enright, PhD, is a pioneer in the scientific study of forgiveness. Here, he breaks down his four-phase model that has helped countless patients overcome anxiety, depression and resentment, by allowing them to truly forgive. Know that forgiveness is available to everyone Everyone has someone who’s wronged them in one way or another – be it a parent who neglected them growing up, a spouse who cheated on them in a rocky relationship, or even a person who stood them up on a set of plans. Not all these injustices result in long-lasting internal disruption – which can be identified by symptoms like fatigue, disruption in sleep, anxiety, depression and other forms of unhealthy anger. But when they do, it’s important to know that forgiveness is an option. “When we’ve been treated deeply unfairly by others, we should have the tools to deal with that, so the effects of that injustice don’t take hold in an unhealthy way,” says Enright. What’s more, you don’t need a mental health professional to teach you how to forgive. It’s something you can achieve on your own, as long as you know which steps to take. Decide you want to choose forgiveness The first step toward achieving forgiveness is deciding it’s something you actually want to do, not something someone has pressured you into trying. “People should not be forced into forgiving,” says Enright. “I think it’s important that people are drawn to it.” Enright also stresses that forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing or forgetting an injustice, or returning to a relationship that’s harmful. “Some people misconstrue forgiveness and say, well, if I forgive then I can’t seek fairness,” he says. “That’s one of the big criticisms of forgiveness, which is not true.” Make a list Start the process of forgiveness with this preliminary step: Make a list of all the people who have hurt you, no matter how small or large, going back to childhood. Next, order the names from the lowest level of injustice and anger to the highest. You’ll start the process of forgiveness with someone toward the bottom of the list. “Starting with the highest person on the list would be like asking someone who’s not physically fit to run a marathon,” says Enright. “Go through the process first with someone who is still bothering you, and it’s not pleasant, but it’s also not crushing. As you repeat the process moving higher and higher up the list, you’ll become more forgivingly fit, and better able to face those people who have truly hurt you.” Uncover your anger This is the official start to phase one of Enright’s forgiveness model, and it’s crucial in reinforcing the importance of forgiveness. “It’s kind of a checklist,” says Enright. “How are you doing in terms of your anger? How have you been denying it? Are you angrier that you thought you were? What are the physical consequences of your anger?” Fatigue is the most common physical complaint Enright hears, as is a pessimistic worldview – believing no one can be trusted or that everyone is only out for themselves. “Once you look at those effects, the question becomes, Do you want to heal?” says Enright. “Which leads us into phase two: deciding to forgive.” Commit to forgiveness Phase two is all about revisiting the definition of forgiveness and committing to it. That definition, more or less, is being good to those who weren’t good to you. “Once people have completed phase one and seen how the effects of their anger have made them unhappy, there’s a tendency to give this a try,” says Enright. In this phase, it’s also important to commit to doing no harm toward the person you’re trying to forgive. “That doesn’t mean be good to them,” says Enright. “It just means don’t do anything negative.” Consider the other person’s wounds This step starts the “work” phase of the forgiveness model. The goal is to ultimately feel compassion for the other person, but don’t start there. Instead, think about them in a new way. How was that person hurt in life? How were they treated unjustly? Are they so wounded that they wounded you? “We don’t do this to excuse their actions, but to see a vulnerable person, a scared person, maybe a confused person. Someone who is not infallible and all-powerful,” says Enright. Consider the other person’s humanity Now that you’ve assessed the person’s woundedness, consider how you share a common humanity. “You were both born, you will both die, you both bleed when you’re cut, you both have unique DNA and when you die there will never be another person like you,” says Enright. “And given the humanity, you share with this person, is it possible that they might be just as special, unique and irreplaceable as you are?” Feel a softening It could take weeks or even months, but you should begin to feel a change of heart. “When the person’s feelings start to change, that’s the beginning of the unhealthy anger starting to leave,” says Enright. “It’s a tiny glimmering of compassion.” Bear the pain Once you’ve begun to feel a softening, the next step is to accept the pain. “We don’t ask people to get rid of the pain,” says Enright, “but to stand with the pain.” That means not passing your pain onto others, in many cases offspring. “It builds self-esteem because you’re saying, ‘If I can see the humanity in the one who didn’t see the humanity in me, and if I can soften my heart to the one who didn’t to me, then who am I as a person? I’m stronger than I thought.’” Give the person a gift No, we don’t mean you have to buy them a set of candles. But Enright does encourage doing something good to the one who hurt you in some creative way or another. “If the person is a danger to you, you don’t have to let them know you’re doing this,” he says. “You can donate some money to a charity in their name, send an email that hasn’t been sent in a year, or if you have direct contact, give them a smile or a kind word.” Doing so doesn’t mean you must interact with the person or reconcile, just that you’re willing to do something good to the one who hurt you. Begin the discovery phase This is the fourth and final phase of the forgiveness model. During it, you’ll find meaning in what you’ve suffered. “Typically, people are more aware of the wounds in the world,” says Enright. “They become more patient with people who might be having a bad day; they see that people are walking around wounded all the time, and they’re generally more aware of others’ pain and want to be a conduit for good.” And once you’ve got that worldview, you can begin to thrive in life again. Repeat, repeat, repeat Since you likely didn’t start this process with the person who’s hurt you most, you’ll have to repeat the pathway on each person you’re hoping to forgive. Enright suggests keeping a journal or enlisting a trusted friend or family member to keep you on the path. It helps to set aside around 15 minutes a few times a week to work on the process, but it’s all about quality over quantity. Written by Juliana LaBianca. This article first appeared in <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/true-stories-lifestyle/relationships/12-proven-steps-to-truly-forgive-anyone-for-anything">Reader’s Digest</a>. For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRA93V">here’s our best subscription offer.</a> <img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" />

Relationships

"Beyond anything you can imagine": The brutal truth of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster

The launch of HBO miniseries Chernobyl has once again brought attention to the world’s worst nuclear disaster. Discussions have emerged as to whether the five-part show provided a realistic depiction of the catastrophe. While some details in the story have been contested, most experts and survivors agree that the portrayal of the radiation effects is true to life. Oleksiy Breus was an engineer at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in the then-Soviet Union. Following the 1986 explosion at the fourth reactor, he took part in a dangerous operation to drain water from under the power station to prevent further explosion. The 59-year-old told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-48580177" target="_blank">BBC</a> that the physical impacts of acute radiation syndrome (ARS) were shown well in the series through the character of firefighter Vasily Ignatenko. Breus said he met with shift leader Oleksandr Akimov and operator Leonid Toptunov – both of whom were featured prominently on the show – hours after the incident. “They were not looking good, to put it mildly,” he said. “It was clear they felt sick. They were very pale. Toptunov had literally turned white.” Akimov and Toptunov died two weeks later from ARS. Breus said his other colleagues who worked at the ill-fated night died in hospital after their skin turned to “a bright red colour”. He said, “Radiation exposure, red skin, radiation burns and steam burns were what many people talked about but it was never shown like this. When I finished my shift, my skin was brown, as if I had a proper suntan all over my body. My body parts not covered by clothes – such as hands, face and neck – were red.” This was in line with the testimony from Lyudmilla Ignatenko, wife of the fallen firefighter. In the book <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2005/apr/25/energy.ukraine" target="_blank">Voices from Chernobyl</a> by Russian journalist Svetlana Alexievich, Lyudmilla said she witnessed her husband’s condition exacerbate as he began experiencing serious diarrhea, hair loss and skin cracking and discolouring. She recalled, “I tell the nurse: ‘He’s dying’. And she says to me: ‘What did you expect? He got 1,600 roentgen. Four hundred is a lethal dose. You're sitting next to a nuclear reactor’.” Archaeologist and Chernobyl expert Robert Maxwell also vouched for the show’s accuracy in showing how nuclear radiation affects the human body. “The skin of the tongue sloughs off; the skin of the body turns black and peels way upon touch... eyes blister. The colon is covered in third degree burns,” Maxwell told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.mamamia.com.au/chernobyl-radiation-poisoning/?utm_source=Mamamia.com.au%20-%20All%20Newsletters&utm_campaign=e78d678868-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2019_06_17_06_53&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_9dc62997a2-e78d678868-211561537&mc_cid=e78d678868&mc_eid=c10f87c072" target="_blank">Mamamia</a>. “Their depiction of ARS and its treatment during the Soviet 1980s is highly accurate.” The show’s creator Craig Mazin said he and his team took great care to show “total respect” to Vasily and his family in the series. “We had to be really careful in episode three when we showed the final stage of Vasily Ignatenko's body,” Mazin told <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/chernobyl-finale-explained-creator-craig-mazin-interview-1215670" target="_blank">The Hollywood Reporter</a>. “It was the most extreme thing that we showed, and our makeup and prosthetic designer Daniel Parker did a brilliant job — so brilliant, in fact, that there was a concern that we lingered on it a bit. “We shortened that shot by quite a bit, because the last thing we wanted was to feel like we were trading on this man's sad fate for sensationalist points on a TV show. What we wanted was for people to see the truth of what happens… “Those were the things we were dealing with all the time, because that man was a real person, and his wife is still alive, and the last thing we want to do is show anything other than total respect.” 134 people were <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18049222" target="_blank">diagnosed with ARS</a> in the aftermath of the explosion. 28 of them died within months. The number of people affected by the disaster remains disputed, with many suspecting that the radiation may be the reason behind other health problems such as cancer and birth defects.

Body

How to survive anything

1. How to Survive… A Plane Crash The smallest bump feels like an earthquake at 35,000 feet. But plane crash fatalities are low despite high-profile media coverage – and with a few precautions, you can make them a little lower. – Forget first class A Popular Mechanics study of 20 commercial jet crashes with both fatalities and survivors found that passengers seated in the rear cabin (behind the wings) had a 69 per cent chance of survival, compared with just 49 per cent for those in first class. If you fear flying, it’s worth giving up the legroom for peace of mind in the rear cabin. – Brace yourself In a 2015 crash simulation, Boeing found that passengers who both wore their seat belts and assumed a brace position (feet flat, head cradled against their knees or the seat in front of them if possible) were likeliest to survive. Seat-belted fliers who did not brace suffered serious head injuries, and those with no seat belts who also didn’t brace died on impact. – Don’t dally with the mask During a loss of cabin pressure, the drop in oxygen can knock you unconscious in as little as 20 seconds. Listen to the safety advice of your flight attendants: always secure your oxygen mask before helping others. You can’t help if you can’t breathe. 2. How to Survive… Being Stranded in the Wilderness As longtime editor of many RD survival stories, Beth Dreher learned a lot about how to stay alive in dire circumstances. Here, she gives us her most important how-tos. – Find water As the subjects of my stories know too well, you can last only about four days without water. To ward off dehydration, search for animals, birds (especially songbirds), insects (especially honeybees) and green vegetation, all of which can indicate that water is nearby. Rock crevices may also hold small caches of rainwater. – Find food You can survive up to three weeks without food, but a growling stomach will set in much sooner. These items are reliably edible: grass, typha (often called cattails or bulrushes), acorns and pine needles. And if forced to eat berries, this rhyme could save your life: “White and yellow, kill a fellow. Purple and blue, good for you.” – Brave an animal ambush We’ve all read about bear and shark attacks. But what about other outdoor aggressors? Regardless of species, your best bet is to stand your ground; running can often trigger an animal’s chase mentality, and unless you’re trying to avoid a snake, you’ll likely not run fast enough. – Signal a rescuer The subjects of many of my stories are able to attract the attention of rescuers using a reflection or a signal fire or by making a lot of noise. To increase your chances of being discovered, go to an open area on a hilltop, then use a mirror, CD, belt buckle or water bottle to reflect light towards the pilot of a plane or a helicopter overhead. To create white smoke, which is easy for rescuers to see, add green vegetation to your fire. – Splint a broken bone The people in the stories I read climb cliffs in remote areas, survive plane crashes, fall hundreds of metres without a parachute – and often break bones. One key to their survival? A splint, which can help reduce pain, prevent further damage and allow you to move to a safer place. Basic rule of splinting: if you break a bone, immobilise the joints above and below it; if your joint is injured, immobilise the bones above and below it. Either way, first pad the injury with something soft like a shirt or socks; next, lay out something hard, like a tent pole or a sturdy stick, that extends past either side of the injury; finally, tie it all in place with duct tape, strips of clothing or a padded rope from your camping gear. Don’t tie it so tightly that you lose circulation. One injury is enough. 3. How to Survive… A Terrorist Attack Following the Paris attacks of November 2015, the BBC surveyed survival experts and came away with some confidence-building advice. – Get in the habit of casing the room In the attack on the Bataclan concert hall, a security guard led a group of people to safety through a fire exit left of the stage. But there won’t always be a guard to help. Make a point of identifying emergency exits for yourself. – Make yourself smaller “Where there’s cover from sight, there’s cover from gunfire,” advises Ian Reed, a British military instructor and chief executive of the Formative Group security firm. Hard cover such as a concrete wall is the best option. If there’s no cover available, play dead. – ‘Run, hide, tell’ In its report on ‘dynamic lockdowns’, the UK government’s advice is to run if there is a safe route out. If you can’t run, hide. If you escape, immediately tell an official what’s happening. Separate from gathering crowds; always assume there’s going to be a secondary action. – Be a team player It’s the most efficient way for a group to evacuate and avoid jams. Social psychologist Chris Cocking says most people are likely to try to help one another even in extreme situations – such as the group of people who cooperated to escape the Bataclan via a skylight. 4. How to Survive… The Doctor’s Needle If you are among the roughly ten per cent of people who fear a loaded syringe, heed these tips: – Fess up Tell your doctor how needles make you feel; she might have you lie down to avert wooziness. – Visit your happy place Close your eyes, breathe deeply and listen to your favourite song on noise-cancelling headphones. – Chew the fear away A piece of gum or sweet treat provides a distraction from the doc. – Skip the coffee Caffeine can make you anxious for up to six hours before your procedure. – Request a security blanket According to dentist Mark Burhenne, wearing a weighted blanket like the ones used during X-rays can make you feel safer in the chair. 5. How to Survive… A Lay-off The best thing you can do with your time (besides look for a new job, of course): get moving! According to a happiness study from Canada’s University of Alberta, physical activity increases life satisfaction three times as much as being unemployed reduces it. 6. How to Survive… A Divorce “Divorce is always good news, because no good marriage has ever ended in one,” says comedian Louis C.K. This hard truth may not make the emotional process any easier to deal with – but these three actions might. – Write the pain away Relief can be as simple as free-writing for 20 minutes a day, four days in a row, says James W. Pennebaker, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas. “Across multiple studies, people who engage in expressive writing report feeling happier and less negative than they felt before,” he writes in his book, Expressive Writing: Words That Heal. Per one study, “those who kept their traumas secret went to physicians almost 40 per cent more often than those who openly talked about them.” – See it through your kids’ eyes In 2014, Gwyneth Paltrow popularised conscious uncoupling as a byword for a positive, amicable divorce. As doctors Habib Sadeghi and Sherry Sami subsequently wrote on Paltrow’s website, “Children are imitators by nature … If we are to raise a more civilised generation, we must model those behaviours during the good and bad times in our relationships.” – Launch a project (or a rocket) Like the jilted New Zealand woman who launched her wedding ring into space on a homemade rocket, or the blogger who got a book deal from devising ‘101 uses for my ex-wife’s wedding dress’, you, too, can channel hard feelings into hard work. 7. How to Survive… An Earworm It takes only one passing toddler to get ‘It’s a Small World (After All)’ stuck in your head and a whole teeth-gnashing day to get it out. There is a better way to cure what scientists call involuntary musical imagery (aka, the common earworm). In fact, there are two ways: – Option one – embrace it. Listen to the song all the way through, at full volume, ideally singing along. The idea is that by confronting your brain with the full version, your earworm will end when the song does. – Option two – replace it. Play a different song all the way through, at full volume, in an attempt to chase away your earworm with something more forgettable. In one UK study, the most popular ‘cure’ song was the national anthem, ‘God Save the Queen’. Try humming your own national anthem and see if it has the same magical, restorative properties. 8. How to Survive… An Awkward Conversation Somehow you’re sitting next to the only person at the party you’ve never met, and the mood is definitely uneasy. How do you draw them out? – Open with a compliment The other person will feel a wave of positive feelings, and you will be more likely to remember them later as the person with the ‘nice hat’. A win–win encounter. – Listen like a hostage negotiator A common creed of hostage negotiators is ‘talk to me’ – because they’re taught to spend 80 per cent of their time listening and only 20 per cent speaking. Draw your subject out by talking about what they want to talk about, nodding and asking follow-up questions along the way. The more you make your subject feel understood, the more they will enjoy the conversation. – Have an escape plan The phrases ‘I won’t keep you’ and ‘Give my regards to [mutual acquaintance]’ are your allies. When the conversation reaches a dead end, employ them. 9. How to Survive… An Ice Cream Headache A ‘brain freeze’ occurs when nerves in the roof of your mouth tell your brain that it’s too cold; the brain, drama queen that it is, overcompensates by rushing warm blood into your head. How can you tell your big mouth to shut up? – Thaw the freeze Replace the cold stimulus with a warm one by filling your mouth with room-temperature water or pressing your tongue against the afflicted area. – The key to prevention? Eat slower. As one Canadian doctor found in a study of 145 students from his daughter’s school, kids who gulped down a bowl of ice cream in five seconds or fewer were twice as likely to feel brain freeze as those who took their time. 10. How to Survive… A Sunburn Remember this: when you’re as red as a beet, make yourself a salad. Freshly cut cucumber cools and soothes the skin, as does the starch from a grated potato or a spritz of apple cider vinegar. Your skin needs vitamins A and D to heal quickly – augment your produce regimen with lots of milk, and find a cool place to veg out. Written by Brandon Specktor. This article first appeared in <a href="http://www.readersdigest.com.au/healthsmart/tips/11-Things-to-Never-Say-to-Someone-With-Chronic-Pain">Reader’s Digest.</a> For more of what you love from the world’s best-loved magazine, <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.com.au/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRA93V">here’s our best subscription offer.</a> <a href="http://readersdigest.innovations.co.nz/c/readersdigestemailsubscribe?utm_source=over60&utm_medium=articles&utm_campaign=RDSUB&keycode=WRN93V">Here’s our subscription offer.</a> <img style="width: 100px !important; height: 100px !important;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7820640/1.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/f30947086c8e47b89cb076eb5bb9b3e2" />

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The one place in India that is unlike anything you’ve ever seen

When it comes to India, Hampi might not be the first travel destination that comes to mind – but this often-overlooked city is the country’s hidden gem, filled with rich heritage, unique archaeological wonders and natural charms that could not be found anywhere else in the world. Find out what makes this south Indian village so special. Heritage and spiritual sites Once the capital city of the great Hindu kingdom Vijayanagara Empire, today Hampi is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and home to royal and sacred complexes encompassing more than 4,000 hectares. The regal structures and monuments, dating back to the 14th century and older, unearth stories of ancient and medieval times. The remains – including shrines, memorial structures, Mandapas, defence posts and more – unveiled and confirmed travellers’ chronicles that the city hosted a highly developed society with advanced technologies, impressive wealth and powerful political stature. In Hampi, every bend on the road is punctuated by a temple from the 14th century, if not older. The city’s most famous temple, Virupaksha Temple, dates back to the 7th century. Its nine-tiered gopura, which stands tall at 50m, looks over the city with exquisite ornate carvings telling mythological stories. The temple, which is dedicated to Lord Shiva, continues the centuries-long tradition of celebrating the wedding ceremony of the Hindu deity with goddess Parvati every year. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jmeM93n3n1w" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen=""></iframe> Towered over by the Virupaksha Temple is the Hampi Bazaar, a village lined with ruined pavilions and filled with lodges, avenue stands, shops and restaurants stretching over a kilometre. Another site nearby is Lotus Mahal, a two-level palace that derives its name from its geometrically arranged cusped arches that resemble the petals of lotus flower blooming in the sun. Also, not to be missed is the Vithala Temple complex, which houses the famous 56 musical pillars of Ranga Mantapa that emanate notes when tapped gently. Across the river is Anegundi, a fortress town and the city’s former headquarters. The tranquil area is a perfect place to have a leisurely walk as you take in the views of dilapidated HuchappaMatha Temple and ruins of palaces and fortifications. You can also take a boat ride to Navabrindavanam, where you can visit the final resting place of nine Hindu Madhwa saints. Dravidian architecture style, which flourished under the Empire, can be observed in the shrines, residential areas and bazaars across the temple complexes. It takes the form of massive dimensions, cloistered enclosures and lofty towers with decorated pillars. Historical craftsmanship can also be observed in the carved out monolithic structures, such as the Lakshmi Narasimha, the Stone Chariot, the massive Ganesha statues and the Badavilinga. Natural wonders Apart from the imprints of time, Hampi also has beautiful natural attractions to boot. Situated in the state of Karnataka by the riverside, Hampi is surrounded by boulder-strewn hills where people can enjoy the stunning aerial view of the city and its environs. One of the most popular lookout spots is the Matanga Hill, where visitors go to enjoy to watch daybreaks and sunsets. On the north side of Hampi is Tungabhadra River, a scenic water body that meanders through rocky terrain amongst craggy hill ranges to flow to the Bay of Bengal. You can cross the river with a motor boat or a coracle ride, where you will get on a round country boat with five to other passengers to get to the other side. Another must-visit place is Sanapur Lake, a serene, secluded reservoir with designated swimming spots, as well as picturesque surroundings of lush green fields and huge granite boulders to take in while you are bathing under the sun. You can also take a coracle or a boat to travel to the centre of the lake, or just unwind by the side. With rich Indian history and unparalleled natural beauty, you can be sure to find what you seek in <a href="https://www.karnatakatourism.org/Hampi/en/">Hampi</a>. Find out how ancient history comes alive in <a href="http://incredibleindia.com/">India</a>’s capital of golden empire. This is sponsored content brought to you in conjunction with India Tourism.

International Travel

Is there anything Kmart's $29 pie maker can't do?

When it comes to Kmart purchases, cult fans of the mega store have proven most appliances can be used for a multitude of purposes. The $29 Kmart Pie Maker is nothing short of spectacular with its wide options to choose from when using the nifty gadget – from pies to cakes and muffins to donuts – there is not much this pie maker can’t do. Tasty offerings range from savoury foods such as bacon cups, eggs and pastries to sweet desserts with a number of home bakers revealing how they used the pie maker to get creative with their cooking. One woman named Aimee used the nifty invention to pay tribute to everyone’s favourite chocolate spread – Nutella. “Got on the Kmart pie maker bandwagon and made Nutella filled cinnamon doughnuts,” the South Australian mum wrote. The delicious treat only took 10 minutes, she explained, while sharing her recipe ingredients and details. <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fphoto.php%3Ffbid%3D2043316055709765%26set%3Da.177158792325510%26type%3D3&width=500" width="500" height="491" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe> Here are some of the delicious inventions made by fans of Kmart's $29 pie maker. Eggs-done-easy <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FOurThriftyFamily%2Fphotos%2Fa.1941688629385758%2F2087625684792051%2F%3Ftype%3D3&width=500" width="500" height="631" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe> Custard Tart <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fphoto.php%3Ffbid%3D10215320499717420%26set%3Da.2049963300376%26type%3D3&width=500" width="500" height="502" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe> Muffins <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FKmartPieMakerRecipes%2Fposts%2F1151389341703023&width=500" width="500" height="491" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe> Egg and Bacon Cups <iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fphoto.php%3Ffbid%3D10155804125568250%26set%3Da.10150170358088250%26type%3D3&width=500" width="500" height="594" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media"></iframe> Would you try out Kmart's $29 pie maker at home? Let us know in the comments below.

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