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"Stop the blame game": Kochie slams young Aussie homebuyers

David Koch has called on young Aussies to stop blaming baby boomers for their financial woes in his latest newsletter for finance website Compare The Market. The former Sunrise host and current economic director for the finance company said that young Aussies need to “stop the blame game” in regards to the housing crisis, arguing that baby boomers should be called the "scapegoats" instead. He explained that young homebuyers believe that his generation has “put them on the chopping block” despite the “Bank of Mum and Dad” sitting sixth largest home lenders. “Not enough houses? Boomers are hoarding them. Not enough home units? Boomers throw down cash before first-time buyers can say boo!” he wrote. He said that while he understood that young Aussies are struggling to buy a home, as the median price of one in Australia is currently 14 times the average annual income, in 1990 it was five times the average annual income. “When we bought our homes, prices were more accessible, and while interest rates were sky-high, our wages were aligned with housing costs.” “Housing markets have inflated, wages have stagnated, and opportunities for younger generations are considerably diminished.” He added that government policy is largely to blame for the dire housing situation, and that the rise in property costs was not because they wanted to hang younger Aussies out to dry, but because the economy favoured real estate as a safe, long-term investment. “Governments have simply not planned for either the generational housing change or the big increase in migration to ensure enough properties have been built to meet demand,” he wrote. He then referenced the State of the Housing System report which found that Australia will fall 40,000 units short of its 2029 new home construction target of 1.2m million. Kochie defended the boomers, saying that not many of them could be considered as the "wealthy, elite stereotype we often see in the news”, as many of them had to work hard to become a homeowner. “It's essential to recognise this diversity and avoid vilifying the entire generation,” he wrote. Kochie called on young Australians to "stop the blame game" and instead of "pointing fingers" they should focus on “how we can work together” to make housing affordable again. “A bit of compassion and creative thinking could go a long way. Otherwise, the scapegoats and sacrificial lambs of the world will continue their bleating,” he wrote. Images: Realestate.com.au

Money & Banking

Why Mr Bean is being blamed for decreasing electric vehicle sales

Rowan Atkinson has been blamed for a decrease in electric car sales, with a "damaging" article being debunked in the House of Lords. The actor and comedian, who is also a well-known car enthusiast, wrote an article for The Guardian, claiming he felt "duped" by electric vehicles, saying they aren't as eco-friendly as they are often portrayed. Atkinson says the problem with the vehicles' sustainable marketing focuses on just one part of the car’s operating life: what comes out of the exhaust pipes and ignores other elements such as the manufacturing and the mining of rare earth minerals, shipping and building of the batteries. These claims, and the article itself, have been addressed by the UK's House of Lords, with politicians blaming the story for a decrease in electric vehicle sales. UK think tank the Green Alliance says, “One of the most damaging articles was a comment piece written by Rowan Atkinson in The Guardian which has been roundly debunked.” Other deterrents identified by the committee were the high purchase price and insufficient charging infrastructure. Social media users were quick to take Atkinson's side in the debate, with one person writing on X, “If Rowan Atkinson is responsible, then give him a knighthood.” Another user says, “Rowan Atkinson with a degree and masters in Engineering. Knows more than those pushing electric cars.” "Apparently it's Mr Bean's fault for the poor take up of electric cars. Cancel him," another said. For the last 12 months, high power costs in the UK have meant that fast charging your electric car can be more expensive than refuelling a petrol or diesel vehicle. The UK is planning to ban sales of petrol and diesel vehicles from 2035, despite the slip in sales. Image credits: Getty Images

Legal

"Sorry about that, kids": Baby Boomers blamed AGAIN for national woes

Australia's ongoing battle against soaring inflation is taking a toll on ordinary households, particularly young Australians, while – according to a recent News.com.au analysis – "<a href="https://www.news.com.au/finance/economy/australian-economy/why-boomers-and-big-business-are-to-blame-for-australias-economic-woes/news-story/d6478109e7701ad4cef152f38956e6b7" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cash-rich baby boomers and price-gouging corporations</a>" remain largely unscathed. This stark reality has been brought to light by financial experts and youth advocates, who point to the disproportionate impact of rising interest rates and living costs on younger generations. "Some interesting results from CBA's results presentation," observed ABC financial journalist Alan Kohler in a recent television appearance that has since gone viral. "They all highlight the great divide between generations." Kohler presented data showing that Millennials have the most debt and "baby boomers have most of the savings", with young people drawing down on their limited savings while boomers continue to grow their nest eggs. "And Gen Z and millennials are cutting back their spending and therefore doing all the hard work, helping the Reserve Bank get inflation down, but baby boomers are spending more and undermining that effort," Kohler explained. "So, sorry about that, kids." <div class="embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; color: #323338; font-family: Figtree, Roboto, 'Noto Sans Hebrew', 'Noto Kufi Arabic', 'Noto Sans JP', sans-serif; background-color: #ffffff; outline: none !important;"><iframe class="embedly-embed" style="box-sizing: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border-width: 0px; border-style: initial; vertical-align: baseline; width: 580px; max-width: 100%; outline: none !important;" title="tiktok embed" src="https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2Fembed%2Fv2%2F7267335675010141442&display_name=tiktok&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiktok.com%2F%40equitymates%2Fvideo%2F7267335675010141442&image=https%3A%2F%2Fp16-sign-sg.tiktokcdn.com%2Fobj%2Ftos-alisg-p-0037%2FocNiGB6EkWBejOG1BH8DgQnwC2AVIM2QIebTQs%3Fx-expires%3D1699671600%26x-signature%3DSWclfroCkbHi55dgIg5%252FyW0Gf%252Bk%253D&key=5b465a7e134d4f09b4e6901220de11f0&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=tiktok" width="340" height="700" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></div> Kos Samaras, director of research firm RedBridge Australia, echoed Kohler's sentiment, noting that millions of Australians are now in negative cash flow, struggling to make ends meet. "It's a train wreck," Samaras asserted. "These households are not driving inflation. It's people like myself and much older. Spending from 50+ is up, savings are up, and higher interest rates equal higher earned interest on savings. It's also super profits and other international drivers." PropTrack economist Angus Moore offered a more nuanced view, explaining that inflation is "never driven by a single thing or a single group." "For the sake of simplifying it, the reason we're seeing high inflation is down to two things," Moore clarified. "One is supply-led inflation, which is things like petrol and energy prices, disrupted supply chains driving up import costs, growth in construction costs, and so on. "More recently in the past 18 months, we've seen the second cause emerge, which is demand-led inflation. Basically, the economy is broadly doing very well. Unemployment is the lowest it's been in five decades. That's helped to give people more money, which has supported spending – or demand-led inflation." Amidst widespread financial hardship, corporations are reaping record profits, further fuelling public resentment. Electricity prices surged by 4.2 per cent in September, reflecting higher wholesale costs being passed on to consumers. Origin Energy, one of the country's largest electricity suppliers, saw a staggering 83.5 per cent increase in profits in the 2022-23 financial year. "The public have been told that supply chain issues and inflation are to blame for the cost-of-living crisis," said Joseph Mitchell, assistant secretary of the ACTU. "But when you see the profits like those posted, it is legitimate to ask whether Australia's big supermarkets have used the cost-of-living crisis as a smokescreen to push up their profit margins, despite costs decreasing for themselves." Similarly, Australia's biggest insurer IAG, which owns NRMA and CGU among others, posted a net profit of $832 million in 2022-23, skyrocketing 140 per cent on the year prior. "Insurance is an essential," Mitchell emphasised. "To protect our homes and to get to work we all have to pay those premiums. It's beyond the pale to expect hard working Australians to continue cop increases to life's essentials just to have big business creaming from the top." The Australia Institute's Centre for Future Work is demanding price regulations across strategic sectors such as energy, housing and transport, as well as competition policy reform to restrain exploitative pricing practices. "The evidence couldn't be any clearer – enormous corporate profits fuelled the inflationary crisis and remain too high for workers to claw back wage losses," stated Dr Jim Stanford, the centre's director. "The usual suspects in the business community want to blame labour costs for inflation. That claim simply doesn't stack up under the weight of international and domestic evidence that shows corporate profits still account for the clear majority of excess inflation, despite inflation moderating from its peak last year." Image: TikTok

Money & Banking

Expert's bold claim that boomers are to blame

An expert has claimed that baby boomers have “won the intergenerational lottery”, while young Australians continue to struggle to make ends meet. Chief economist for the MB Fund, Leith van Onselen, shared new data to support his claims, as he said governments have continuously favoured the older generations and neglected the financial needs of young people. The economist believes boomers have long had the upper hand in terms of taxes, wages, and house prices, and are completely unaware of their financial privilege. In terms of homeownership, van Onselen wrote for <a href="https://www.news.com.au/finance/economy/australian-economy/data-reveals-how-baby-boomers-have-seized-aussie-economys-spoils-as-young-people-suffer/news-story/dc59569780fb42389915e11cdb41dba6" target="_blank" rel="noopener">news.com.au</a> that boomers were “lucky” to break into the housing market when house prices were still achievable. He said, “Baby Boomers have the highest home ownership rate in Australia and were lucky to have gotten into the market while houses were still reasonably priced.” “They then enjoyed the rapid appreciation of home values, while younger Australians have been priced out.” He continued, “They mostly own their homes outright and are largely unaffected by rising mortgage rates or rent increases.” “Some Boomers are even benefiting from soaring rents, as they own a large chunk of the nation’s investment properties.” Van Onselen also discussed the spending habits of everyday Aussies, citing data from the Commonwealth Bank that shows how many young Australians halted spending in the face of the cost of living crisis, while baby boomers did the opposite. He said, “According to an analysis of seven million CBA customers’ purchasing habits, spending per capita for all age groups under 55 fell relative to the rate of inflation in the year to March 2023.” “Australians aged under 35 increased their spending by only 3.4 per cent in the year to March, which was less than half the rate of inflation.” “This means that the average young person is buying fewer goods and services.” He continued, “By contrast, spending among the over 55s climbed at a faster rate than inflation over the year to March, with CBA customers over the age of 75 increasing their spending by approximately 13 per cent.” The economist said that this drastic change in spending habits within the older generation has directly impacted inflation rates, as well as interest rates that continue to rise. He said, “Therefore, the older generations are driving Australia’s household consumption and are helping to push up house prices, which has forced the RBA to respond with higher interest rates – which is negatively impacting younger Australians with mortgages.” Van Onselen summarised his claims by stating he believes that “Older Australians also look to have tightened their stranglehold on the nation’s homes.” “To the Baby Boomers go the economy’s spoils.” He concluded his claims by taking aim at a common argument that the older generations use against younger Aussies who are struggling financially, as he wrote, “Now watch on as they eat smashed avocado toast.” Image credits: Shutterstock

Money & Banking

Actors blamed for delaying movie production

These single cast members have been responsible for delaying movie production on these titles. 1. Marlon Brando — Mutiny on the Bounty Brando was singled out as the reason months of production and $6 million went down the drain during the making of Mutiny on the Bounty in 1962. According to the film’s director Lewis Milestone, Brando put earplugs in on set to silence instructions and argued over many scenes in the script. Reportedly, he also refused to shoot the finale and demanded to make his own ending. The delays and tension on set were ironic as the film focused on deadly mutiny. 2. Johnny Depp — Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales The fifth movie in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise had a very messy production due to extensive delays and behind-the-scenes drama. Depp delayed production after illegally bringing his dogs into Australia during shooting, injuring his hand and reportedly showing up late to shooting. 3. Brad Pitt — The Fountain Writer and director of The Fountain Darren Aronofsky admitted that Brad Pitt was responsible for delaying film production. Pitt was initially going to star in the film but when it was just weeks away from the start of principal photography in Australia, Pitt let Aronofsky know that he was leaving the film. The departure meant there were extensive delays in starting production, but Aronofsky pins the departure on creative differences and says that neither of them were to blame. 4. Benedict Cumberbatch — Doctor Strange Benedict Cumberbatch was originally the only actor director Scott Derrickson had in mind to play Marvel’s Doctor Strange. Cumberbatch initially turned the role down due to conflicting schedules, so production was delayed to allow the actor a second chance at starring in the film. "If you can't jump on board when the ride's going past, that's usually it," Cumberbatch said "So the hugest compliment they paid me was to come back to me. It motivated me to try to fulfil their faith in me." 5. Robert Downey Jr — Sherlock Holmes 3 The next instalment of Sherlock Holmes has been delayed while Robert Downey Jr fulfils his contractual obligations with the Avengers, according to Holmes producer Joel Silver. Hopefully Downey will return to the Sherlock films after the fourth Avengers. Images: Getty

Movies

Husband cheats on wife and blames her

Kerry knew her marriage “wasn’t in the best shape”, and that there was not much happening in the bedroom department. She was working full-time and busy with their kids, aged five and seven. She was also considering suggesting couples counselling to her husband. "I knew he was preoccupied, but told me it was work stress and I believed him.” She also noticed had a few more “business trips” than usual. One night, realising that her husband was avoiding eye contact with her, she demanded to know what was going on. He had been cheating on her. For six months. He revealed that flirtation with a work colleague transformed into meeting for drinks, kissing and some “home bases”. "He said 'I didn't have sex with her until recently' as though he thought he deserved some sort of prize.” That’s not all he told her. "He was like, 'Oh you must know you haven't been meeting my needs'. I was like 'I cook, and look after the kids, and carry the mental load so what the f--k do you mean?” "He told me we'd been distant, sort of leading separate lives. I was like, really? How separate is sharing a bedroom? How separate is having two kids together? How separate is watching Succession together?” Before he cheated, he had been counting the days since Kerry had initiated sex - while not initiating it himself - as a bizarre test. An understandably emotional Kerry blew up at him yet he allegedly does not want the marriage to end. He has since cut off contact with the colleague apart from necessary exchanges at work. "He doesn't seem that remorseful, though. He keeps saying how I was so distant. I still feel like he wants me to shoulder some blame.” Kerry revealed she had issues with her self-worth that stemmed from her father. “Now, because of the cheating, that thought keeps popping up – that maybe I'm not good enough." Image credit: Shutterstock

Relationships

Don’t blame women for low libido. Sexual sparks fly when partners do their share of chores – including calling the plumber

When a comic about “mental load” <a href="https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/">went viral in 2017</a>, it sparked conversations about the invisible workload women carry. Even when women are in paid employment, they remember their mother-in-law’s birthday, know what’s in the pantry and organise the plumber. This mental load often goes unnoticed. Women also <a href="https://theconversation.com/yet-again-the-census-shows-women-are-doing-more-housework-now-is-the-time-to-invest-in-interventions-185488">continue to do more housework</a> and childcare than their male partners. This burden has been exacerbated over the recent pandemic (homeschooling anyone?), <a href="https://theconversation.com/planning-stress-and-worry-put-the-mental-load-on-mothers-will-2022-be-the-year-they-share-the-burden-172599">leaving women</a> feeling exhausted, anxious and resentful. As sexuality researchers, we wondered, with all this extra work, do women have any energy left for sex? We decided to explore how mental load affects intimate relationships. We focused on female sexual desire, as “low desire” affects <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1743609520307566">more than 50% of women</a> and is <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0091302217300079">difficult to treat</a>. Our study, published in the <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2022.2079111">Journal of Sex Research</a>, shows women in equal relationships (in terms of housework and the mental load) are more satisfied with their relationships and, in turn, feel more sexual desire than those in unequal relationships. <h2>How do we define low desire?</h2> Low desire is tricky to explore. More than simply the motivation to have sex, women describe sexual desire as a state-of-being and a need for closeness. Adding to this complexity is the fluctuating nature of female desire that changes in response to life experiences and the <a href="https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160630-the-enduring-enigma-of-female-desire">quality of relationships</a>. Relationships are especially important to female desire: relationship dissatisfaction is a <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18410300/">top risk factor</a> for low desire in women, even more than the physiological impacts of age and menopause. Clearly, relationship factors are critical to understanding female sexual desire. As a way of addressing the complexity of female desire, a <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-018-1212-9">recent theory</a> proposed two different types of desire: dyadic desire is the sexual desire one feels for another, whereas solo desire is about individual feelings. Not surprisingly, dyadic desire is intertwined with the dynamics of the relationship, while solo desire is more amorphous and involves feeling good about yourself as a sexual being (feeling sexy), without needing validation from another. <h2>Assessing the link</h2> Our research acknowledged the nuances of women’s desire and its strong connection to relationship quality by exploring how fairness in relationships might affect desire. The research involved asking 299 Australian women aged 18 to 39 questions about desire and relationships. These questions included assessments of housework, mental load – such as who organised social activities and made financial arrangements – and who had more leisure time. We compared three groups: <ul> <li>relationships where women perceived the work as equally shared equal (the “equal work” group)</li> <li>when the woman felt she did more work (the “women’s work” group)</li> <li>when women thought that their partner contributed more (the “partner’s work” group).</li> </ul> We then explored how these differences in relationship equity impacted female sexual desire. <h2>What we found</h2> The findings were stark. Women who rated their relationships as equal also reported greater relationship satisfaction and higher dyadic desire (intertwined with the dynamics of the relationship) than other women in the study. Unfortunately (and perhaps, tellingly), the partner’s work group was too small to draw any substantial conclusions. However, for the women’s work group it was clear their dyadic desire was diminished. This group was also less satisfied in their relationships overall. We found something interesting when turning our attention to women’s solo desire. While it seems logical that relationship inequities might affect all aspects of women’s sexuality, our results showed that fairness did not significantly impact solo desire. This suggests women’s low desire isn’t an internal sexual problem to be treated with <a href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/yoni-eggs#:%7E:text=Yoni%20eggs%20are%20egg%2Dshaped,bacterial%20infections%20and%20intense%20pain.">mindfulness apps and jade eggs</a>, but rather one that needs effort from both partners. Other relationship factors are involved. We found children increased the workload for women, leading to lower relationship equity and consequently, lower sexual desire. Relationship length also played a role. Research shows long-term relationships are <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-018-1175-x">associated with</a> decreasing desire for women, and this is often attributed to the tedium of over-familiarity (think of the bored, sexless <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBq-Nyo0lQg">wives in 90s sitcoms</a>). However our research indicates relationship boredom is not the reason, with the increasing inequity over the course of a relationship often the cause of women’s disinterest in sex. The longer some relationships continue, the more unfair they become, lowering women’s desire. This may be because women take on managing their partner’s relationships, as well as their own (“It’s time we had your best friend over for dinner”). And while domestic housework may start as equally shared, over time, women <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/media-centre/media-releases/women-spent-more-time-men-unpaid-work-may">tend to do more</a> household tasks. <h2>What about same-sex couples?</h2> Same-sex couples have <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/fare.12293">more equitable relationships</a>. However, we found the same link between equity and desire for women in same-sex relationships, although it was much stronger for heteronormative couples. A sense of fairness within a relationship is fundamental to all women’s satisfaction and sexual desire. <h2>What happens next?</h2> Our findings suggest one response to low desire in women could be to address the amount of work women have to take on in relationships. The link between relationship satisfaction and female sexual desire has been firmly established in <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-018-1175-x">previous research</a> but our findings explain how this dynamic works: women’s sense of fairness within a relationship forecasts their contentment, which has repercussions on their desire for their partner. To translate our results into clinical practice, we could run trials to confirm if lowering women’s mental load results in greater sexual desire. We could have a “housework and mental load ban” for a sample of women reporting low sexual desire and record if there are changes in their reported levels of desire. Or perhaps women’s sexual partners could do the dishes tonight and see what happens. Image credit: Shutterstock This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/dont-blame-women-for-low-libido-sexual-sparks-fly-when-partners-do-their-share-of-chores-including-calling-the-plumber-185401" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>.

Relationships

Floods, cyclones, thunderstorms: is climate change to blame for New Zealand’s summer of extreme weather?

The final months of New Zealand’s summer carried a massive sting, bringing “unprecedented” rainfalls several times over, from widespread flooding in Auckland at the end of January to ex-tropical Cyclone Gabrielle dumping record rains and causing devastating floods across the east coast of the North Island. After all that, New Zealand experienced spells of thunderstorms, bringing repeat floods to parts of Auckland and then Gisborne. The obvious question is what role climate change plays in these record-breaking rainfalls. Some answers come from the international <a href="https://www.worldweatherattribution.org/">World Weather Attribution</a> team, which today released a <a href="https://spiral.imperial.ac.uk/bitstream/10044/1/102624/10/Scientific%20report%20New%20Zealand%20Floods.pdf">rapid assessment</a> which shows very heavy rain, like that associated with Cyclone Gabrielle, has become about four times more common in the region and extreme downpours now drop 30% more rain. The team analysed weather data from several stations, which show the observed increase in heavy rain. It then used computer models to compare the climate as it is today, after about 1.2℃ of global warming since the late 1800s, with the climate of the past. The small size of the analysed region meant the team could not quantify the extent to which human-caused warming is responsible for the observed increase in heavy rain in this part of New Zealand, but concluded it was the likely cause. <h2>More energy in the atmosphere and ocean</h2> Many factors add to the strength of a storm and the intensity of rainfall, especially for short bursts. A crucial factor is always the amount of energy available. Climate change is increasing that amount of energy in two main ways. First, everything is getting warmer. Rising sea surface temperatures provide <a href="https://sciencebrief.org/uploads/reviews/ScienceBrief_Review_CYCLONES_Mar2021.pdf">extra fuel for the development of tropical cyclones</a> because they grow by heating from below. Warmer seas mean potentially faster development of tropical cyclones, and stronger, more vigorous storms overall. Sea temperatures must be at least 26.5℃ to support the build-up of a tropical cyclone. So, as the oceans warm, these storms can reach farther from the equator. Second, warmer air can hold more water vapour. Every degree of warming increases the maximum amount of water vapour by around 7%. That extra water vapour tends to fall out as extra rain, but it also provides extra energy to a storm. <h2>Driving waves further inland</h2> The energy it takes to evaporate the water from the ocean surface and turn it into vapour is released again when the vapour condenses back into liquid water. A moister airmass heats the atmosphere more when clouds and rain form, making the air more buoyant and able to rise up more. This creates deeper, more vigorous clouds with stronger updrafts, and again more rain. Stronger updrafts in a storm mean more air will have to be drawn into the storm near the Earth’s surface, ensuring more “convergence” of air and moisture (water vapour). That’s why, even though a degree of warming translates to 7% more water vapour in the air, we can get 20% increases, or larger, in extreme rainfalls. All of this extra energy can contribute to making the storm stronger overall, with stronger winds and lower air pressures in its centre. This seems to have happened with Cyclone Gabrielle. Record low pressures were recorded at a few North Island locations as the storm passed. The low pressures act like a vacuum cleaner, sucking the sea surface up above normal sea level. The strong winds can then drive waves much further inland. Add in a bit of sea-level rise, and coastal inundation can get a lot worse a lot quicker. As the climate continues to change, storm intensity is likely to increase on average, as sea levels continue to rise. Those effects together are bound to lead to more dramatic coastal erosion and inundation. <h2>Thunderstorms riding warming seas</h2> These processes work for thunderstorms as well. A thunder cloud often starts as a buoyant mass of air over a warm surface. As the air rises (or convects), it cools and forces water vapour to condense back to liquid water, releasing heat and increasing the buoyancy and speed of the rising air. Again, that allows more moist air to be drawn into the cloud, and that convergence of moist air can increase rainfall amounts well above the 7% per degree of warming, for short bursts of very intense convection. The more intense the convection, the stronger the convergence of moisture and the heavier the resulting rainfall. Tropical cyclones have rings of thunderstorms around their eye during the time when they are truly tropical storms. As they transition out of the tropics into our neighbourhood, they change their structure but retain a lot of the moisture and buoyancy of the air. An ex-tropical cyclone like Gabrielle, moving over very warm water, can pack a devastating punch. Why has New Zealand had so much of this very heavy rain during the weeks from late January? Partly it’s the very warm ocean waters around Aotearoa (up to marine heatwave conditions) and farther north into the Coral Sea. That itself is partly related to the ongoing La Niña event in the tropical Pacific, which tends to pile up warm water (and tropical cyclones) in the west. But it is also related to ongoing global warming. As sea temperatures increase, it becomes easier to reach heatwave conditions. Warmer seas load the atmosphere with water vapour. Partly, too, the air over the North Island has been unusually “unstable” lately, very warm near ground level but cooler than normal higher up. That makes the buoyance in thunderstorms work even better and more strongly, encouraging very heavy rainfall. These conditions seem to have eased now, but severe thunderstorms continue to develop. As we move from summer into autumn, as the warmest seas move eastwards away from us and as La Niña fades in the tropics, the chances of a repeat event are diminishing. For now at least. But if we continue to warm the climate with more greenhouse gas emissions, we will continue to load the dice towards more very heavy rain over Aotearoa. Let us hope those regions and communities so badly affected by recent events have a chance to dry out, rebuild and recover before the next extreme weather. This article originally appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/floods-cyclones-thunderstorms-is-climate-change-to-blame-for-new-zealands-summer-of-extreme-weather-201161" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Conversation</a>. Images: Getty

Travel Trouble

Harry lays the blame for Meghan's miscarriage

Prince Harry has shared a blunt accusation about who was to blame for Meghan Markle's miscarriage in July 2020. The Duchess of Sussex has previously spoken about the failed pregnancy while living in the US after the birth of the couple’s first child. Prince Harry has laid the blame for the miscarriage on on the actions of Associated Newspapers, publisher of the Mail On Sunday and Mail Online, and their relentless harassment of Meghan in the press. In the latest instalment of Harry and Meghan's Netflix documentary, the Duke of Sussex said, “I believe my wife suffered a miscarriage because of what the Mail did. I watched the whole thing. Now, do we absolutely know that the miscarriage was caused by that? Of course we don’t." “But bearing in mind the stress that caused, the lack of sleep and the timing of the pregnancy – how many weeks in she was – I can say from what I saw, that miscarriage was created by what they were trying to do to her.” Meghan’s friend, Abigail Spencer, describes watching the duchess fall to the floor while she was holding her son, Archie, in her new home, having said “I’m having a lot of pain”. The Sussexes were at the time engaged in legal action against Associated Newspapers reproducing a letter that Meghan had sent to her estranged father, Thomas Markle, in February 2019. In the documentary, Meghan said, “When I reveal things that are moments of vulnerability, when it comes to having a miscarriage and maybe having felt ashamed about that, like, it’s OK, you’re human, it’s OK to talk about that." In November 2020, the Duchess wrote a piece for the New York Times called The Losses We Share, saying, "Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few. In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage." "Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning." Image credits: Getty Images

Caring

Amanda Keller blames The Project for the end of her show

Amanda Keller has blamed The Project for far less viewers of her show The Living Room which is ending after 10 seasons. The Living Room will air its final episode on November 25 on Network 10 at 7.30pm with Keller expressing her disappointment at the show ending. She however said there is still hope for it returning but blamed the slot in which the show airs - right after The Project. “I admire Channel 10 that they’ve stuck with The Project for so long,” she told TV Tonight. “I admire that they’ve decided to do their evenings differently. But it does mean that if your show’s on at 7:30 it’s really hard to be compared to other shows.” Keller went on to compare The Living Room to competing show Better Homes & Gardens and Gardening Australia, explaining that they get more viewers due to the strong viewership on their news programs. “We’re up against Better Homes & Gardens, Gardening Australia and we do our best to hold our own in that capacity,” she continued. “I love that it’s a lifestyle night. But you know, they come off a rating of 900,000 from the news or something. “It’s harder for any Channel 10 show at 7:30. So I’m grateful that we had 11 years. “I think that we deserved a higher rating and I wish more people had seen us, but the people who do watch us are rusted-on, loyal fans who are wondering, like we are, what’s going on here?” She went on to thank the loyal fans for their support and said they will be working “really hard” to come back. “Thank you for your support. I’ve never worked on a show that has really hit people in the feels like The Living Room has, and I’ve loved that response,” she said. “Everywhere I go, people tell me how much they love this show. They talk about Miguel, Chris and Barry. I’ve never ever had that and I don’t take that lightly. I will never forget how much I love hearing how people love this show. And I hope we get to do that again. “Thank you for your loyalty. We’re working really hard to come back again.” Image: TV Tonight

“No-one’s to blame”: Parents speak after tragic driveway incident

The parents of a toddler who died outside their family home in Lake Macquarie, NSW, have understandably been left absolutely heartbroken, saying they feel “completely numb” after the shocking tragedy. The almost two-year-old was killed after she ran outside and was struck by a car in the family’s driveway on Monday August 15. Mother Jacintha McPherson said she was still coming to terms with the terrible accident that took her beloved daughter Payton’s life. "I've been on autopilot," McPherson said. I'm just in survival mode and supporting everyone at the moment. How are you expected to get over it?" Inquiries are ongoing and McPherson said the family are still in shock after the tragic accident. "It was just an accident, kids being kids, and no-one's to blame, it's no one's fault," she said. Herself and extended family are coming together in memory of the toddler who brought “joy” and “love” into their lives. "Typical two-year-old, full of life, full of beans, full of love, the attitude. The memory of our baby girl is important, and you know, trying to give her the send-off that she deserves is what's important." McPherson has praised the work of emergency service workers and cannot thank them enough. "I can't thank the police and ambulance and all the doctors that turned up on Monday, it was a shock to all of them, it really was, and they handled themselves so well and they provided everyone with so much support," she said. "They didn't know her. They didn't have to, but they treated her with so much respect and dignity and that's all a mum can ask for." Image: NBN

Family & Pets

We need to talk about monkeypox without shame and blame

The recent global outbreak of <a href="https://www.health.gov.au/diseases/monkeypox-mpx">monkeypox</a> largely among <a href="https://www.npr.org/2022/07/26/1113713684/monkeypox-stigma-gay-community">men who have sex with men</a> has raised concerns homophobia will undermine effective prevention efforts. There are also fears the disease will fuel homophobic stigma and discrimination. Even the name monkeypox <a href="https://theconversation.com/whats-in-a-name-why-giving-monkeypox-a-new-one-is-a-good-idea-185307">is stigmatising</a> due to long-held <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2022/08/01/1113908154/critics-say-monkeypox-is-a-racist-name-but-its-not-going-away-anytime-soon">racist appropriation of the term monkey</a> and the false implication the virus is transmitted by monkeys. The <a href="https://www.who.int/director-general/speeches/detail/who-director-general-s-opening-remarks-at-the-covid-19-media-briefing--14-june-2022">World Health Organization</a> has said the name needs to change, but has not agreed on or announced a new one. Currently, <a href="https://www.aconhealth.org.au/monkeypox">advocates for the LGBTQA+ community</a> are using the term MPX, the term I will use here. MPX is, of course, not the first infectious disease to affect men who have sex with men. So there are things we must learn and things we must not repeat from the public health response to HIV. <h2>Lessons from HIV</h2> When HIV emerged among communities of gay and bisexual men in the 1980s, fear and uncertainty about the cause and nature of the virus led to <a href="https://theconversation.com/lessons-from-the-history-of-hiv-aids-in-australia-how-activism-changed-the-image-of-an-illness-4052">vilification of gay and bisexual men</a>. HIV was initially named “<a href="https://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/pdfplus/10.2105/AJPH.2021.306348">gay-related immune deficiency</a>” or GRID and there was speculation it was caused by men’s excessive sex or drug use (specifically use of <a href="https://theconversation.com/weekly-dose-amyl-started-as-a-poison-antidote-now-a-common-party-drug-64610">amyl nitrate</a>). As well as sparking calls for a crackdown on the rights and freedoms of LGBTQA+ communities, the view gay and bisexual men were to blame for HIV obstructed effective public health responses. Famously, in the United States, then President Ronald Reagan <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/lgbtq-history-month-early-days-america-s-aids-crisis-n919701">made no public mention of HIV or AIDS</a> until more than 12,000 American citizens had died, and HIV had spread widely into many communities. Although today, globally, <a href="https://www.unaids.org/en/resources/fact-sheet">HIV affects more women</a> than men, it is still difficult to disentangle <a href="https://www.unaids.org/en/resources/presscentre/featurestories/2012/august/20120828punitivelaws">HIV-related stigma from homophobia</a> or stigma against other affected populations, including injecting drug users or sex workers. <a href="https://theconversation.com/charlie-sheen-and-ten-million-dollars-worth-of-hiv-stigma-50909">Stigma creates barriers</a> to HIV prevention as people are reluctant to talk about HIV or <a href="https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-018-6156-4">seek testing</a> for fear of being associated with stigmatised groups. It also perpetuates a fundamental lack of empathy for people living with HIV. For these reasons, it’s important we don’t approach MPX in these terms. <h2>A new approach?</h2> There are <a href="https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2022-07-21/monkeypox-government-response-we-can-do-better">some reports</a> of MPX being used to justify homophobic sentiment or actions. However, a crucial difference between this disease and HIV is <a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/blaming-gay-men-for-monkeypox-will-harm-everyone/">the world has learned</a> from HIV. There is now better understanding of the insidious ways <a href="https://www.thelancet.com/journals/landia/article/PIIS2213-8587(20)30127-3/fulltext">stigma and discrimination undermine public health</a>. HIV also taught us to be cautious about the potential for public health messaging to contribute to stigma, especially when an illness is associated with <a href="https://www.nihr.ac.uk/blog/the-perfect-storm-how-covid-19-public-health-messages-may-not-serve-ethnic-minority-communities/30257">marginalised cultural or racial groups</a>. Health policy makers have been <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/may/23/un-denounces-homophobic-and-racist-reporting-on-monkeypox-spread">fast to condemn</a> stigmatising media reporting of MPX. Meanwhile the community-based HIV sector has mobilised existing infrastructure and experience to support <a href="https://www.acon.org.au/">advocacy and MPX education</a> for men who have sex with men. Importantly, we now have better knowledge about the effectiveness of <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31210141/">sex-positive approaches</a> to preventing HIV and other sexually transmissible infections (STIs). <a href="https://doi.org/10.1080/26410397.2019.1593787">Such approaches</a> affirm the pleasures and benefits of sex, aim to build open dialogue about safe sex and ensure people can seek testing without fear of judgement or backlash. <h2>The impact of sexual moralising</h2> We have learned lessons from HIV. However, MPX has exposed the ways sexual moralising is ever-present in public health, undermining sex-positive health promotion. Observers of early media responses to MPX note efforts to avoid stigmatising gay and bisexual men have <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jun/23/monkeypox-outbreak-public-information-virus-homophobia">led to obtuse and confusing reporting</a> about the ways in which the disease, <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-does-monkeypox-spread-an-epidemiologist-explains-why-it-isnt-an-sti-and-what-counts-as-close-contact-188130">although not classified as an STI</a>, can be spread through close physical contact and why gay and bisexual men may be at risk of exposure. Reporting has been deliberately vague because there is very limited cultural space for speaking about group sex, casual sex or sex with multiple partners without these practices, and people involved, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/04/opinion/monkeypox-communication.html">being shamed</a>. Despite increasing acceptance of sexual diversity, people’s <a href="https://www.ippf.org/sites/default/files/2016-10/Putting%20Sexuality%20back%20into%20Comprehensive%20Sexuality%20Education_0.pdf">right to engage in pleasurable sex</a> outside a married, monogamous relationship is rarely affirmed. Young women, for example, are <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8296320/">shamed</a> for having “too many” sexual partners, while calls for comprehensive, <a href="https://theconversation.com/sex-ed-needs-to-talk-about-pleasure-and-fun-safe-sex-depends-on-it-and-condom-use-rises-176572">pleasure-based sex education</a> are controversial. While the world has come a long way toward acceptance of same-sex marriage, homophobia often drives condemnation of gay and bisexual men’s sexual cultures. This is most visible in relation to public health. For example, when pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) first became available to prevent HIV, public funding for it <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4566537">was critiqued</a> by some on the grounds this amounted to subsidising gay and bisexual men’s <a href="https://blogs.bmj.com/medical-ethics/2016/10/08/sex-and-other-sins-public-morality-public-health-and-funding-prep/">promiscuity</a>. When considered through the lens of public health, casual sex is <a href="https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1467-9566.2012.01475.x">often equated with irresponsibility</a>. People’s right to seek sex and intimacy can also be devalued or <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6951379/">seen as irrelevant</a>. We know, however, <a href="https://www.who.int/news/item/11-02-2022-redefining-sexual-health-for-benefits-throughout-life">acknowledging the significance</a> of sexual identities and sexual connection in people’s lives is the best way to engage communities in sexual health promotion. <h2>A sex-positive approach</h2> As current vaccine supplies for MPX are limited in many jurisdictions, including Australia, <a href="https://theconversation.com/australia-secures-450-000-new-monkeypox-vaccines-what-are-they-and-who-can-have-them-187691">priority access is being given</a> to high-risk groups, including men who have sex with men who have multiple sexual partners. Given men are being asked to disclose their sexual practices to obtain a vaccine, assurance of non-stigmatising health care will be essential for this program to be successful. A sex-positive approach to MPX prevention will also support more open conversations so people can gain a better handle on risk and prevention, no matter who they are.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/188295/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/jennifer-power-4215">Jennifer Power</a>, Associate Professor and Principal Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/la-trobe-university-842">La Trobe University</a> This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/we-need-to-talk-about-monkeypox-without-shame-and-blame-188295">original article</a>. Image: Getty

Caring

Grandad says power company is to blame for wife leaving him

A 55-year-old man has blamed hefty power bills for the breakdown of his marriage. Grandfather Bryn Lawson has been in an ongoing battle with his energy provider, AGL, over bills that Mr Lawson claims are incorrect. The Western Sydney resident has accused AGL of using incorrect power meter numbers at his home, with his latest bill coming in at more than $1200. In attempt to lower his bills, Mr Lawson has tried to drastically reduce his electricity usage, even going so far as to get rid of his fridge. “It is a part of the decimation of my marriage to my wife of 35 years,” he told <a href="https://9now.nine.com.au/a-current-affair/power-bills-dispute-agl/42ed3aaa-4e9b-4f34-820d-02160a9130a7" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A Current Affair</a>. “Because I’d come home and the lights would be on, the power would be on and the power bills are high. I’d be saying, ‘What have you got the lights on for, what’s this on for, why’s the heater on’?” However, even after his wife left, Mr Lawson was the only occupant of the home and his power bills still remained high, ranging anywhere from $900 to $1200. AGL has apologised to him for the issue and offered credit, but the mistakes keep happening. “Fix it AGL. Get your s*it together and fix it mate,” an enraged Mr Lawson said. He also shivers at night through cold temperatures because he does not want to use his heater to further drive up his bills. Mr Lawson, who said he was “sick to his stomach” and “scared” of his electricity bills, is ready to cut the power off. “I'm just banging my head up against a brick wall with these guys,” he said. “All I’m gonna get is a bad debt and a big bill I gotta pay off. “I have no problem at all putting my swag out there, putting my solar panels, my battery and running that fridge out there and living out there.” Mr Lawson has taken matters into his own hands by taking a picture of his power meter every month and sending the information to AGL three days before his bill is due, but he is still being overcharged just a few days later. An AGL spokesperson told A Current Affair the company had apologised to Mr Lawson for his experiences and would work with him to resolve his concerns. Image credits: A Current Affair

Relationships

Drunk driver blames burrito for crash

After slamming into a line of traffic stopped in front of him, a 65-year-old man has blamed being distracted by his burrito for the crash - rather than the beers he’d had before getting behind the wheel. Ross Coeland had picked up a burrito on his way home in early June, claiming that he was distracted enough by his food that he didn’t see the car ahead had stopped. After telling police he had been drinking, Mr Coeland was charged with driving with excess breath alcohol for a third or subsequent time, having been most recently convicted for the same charge in July 2017, per the <a href="https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/drunk-driver-covered-in-burrito-after-crashing-into-line-of-traffic/UKPA5HDIYUNXHYH5KTLXE5P7BE/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">NZ Herald</a>. On this occasion, Mr Coeland was found to be three times over the limit. Appearing briefly in Nelson District Court, Mr Coeland admitted that he had been driving over the limit on June 2, with the police summary of facts showing that he returned a reading of 861 micrograms of alcohol per litre of breath - equivalent to a reading 0.08 BAC in Australia. “Due to his intoxication and distraction the defendant failed to see a line of traffic which had slowed to a crawl,” police prosecution told the court. When he eventually noticed the slowing traffic and took evasive action, it was too late. "When the defendant noticed the traffic ahead of him, he slammed his brakes on and skidded, crashing hard into the rear of the trailing vehicle,” the prosecution said. When police found him, Mr Coeland was covered in his ill-fated burrito. He has been remanded on bail for sentencing in September, as well as for a pre-sentence and alcohol and drug report. According to <a href="https://www.nzta.govt.nz/roadcode/general-road-code/road-code/about-limits/alcohol-and-drugs-limits/#:~:text=Your%20licence%20will%20be%20suspended,alcohol%20per%20litre%20of%20breath." target="_blank" rel="noopener">NZ Transport Agency</a>, Mr Coeland could see his licence suspended, a fine of up to $6000 or a prison sentence of up to two years if it is his third offence, and the court impose a “zero alcohol licence”. Image: Getty Images

Legal

Dan Andrews accused of "victim-blaming" in spat with Rebecca Judd

Victoria's premier Dan Andrews has been accused of "victim-blaming" by his political opponents, as he responded to an influencer's claim she feels "unsafe". Social media influencer Rebecca Judd, who is married to AFL star Chris Judd, took to social media last week to say she felt "unsafe" due to a rise in crime in the Brighton area, where she lives in a $7.3 million mansion. "So sick of the rapes, bashings and home invasions at the hands of gangs in Bayside," she wrote on Instagram last Thursday. "The state government don't seem to care. We feel unsafe." In response to her comments, Dan Andrews said that he was area of the rise in crime in the Melbourne suburb, with Victoria Police being utilised accordingly. In a press conference on Sunday, he said, "I'm also obliged to point out, though. I think there are more than 70 additional police in the Bayside area." "She might have missed this, others might have missed this, 502 additional sworn officers and 50 PSOs. "Victoria Police being properly resourced." Brighton MP James Newbury said the premier's comments were unacceptable, and said more should be done to curb the recent crimes. "No woman should be dismissed or victim blamed because they're scared after a string of home invasions in their community," he said. Andrews said the crime rate in the area did not reflect the influencer's concerns. "I'm sorry she feels that way; the data will tell a different story," he said. "But it is about personal feelings and your sense of safety, and I hope that knowing those things, or perhaps learning those things, puts her mind at ease." Image credits: Getty Images

News

Alan Joyce slammed for blaming travellers

Aussies travellers have slammed Qantas CEO Alan Joyce for saying they are to blame for crowded and lengthy waits at the airport. After two years of little to no flights due to the pandemic and staff being laid off, people are going on well-deserved holidays. During the pandemic, Qantas laid off almost 8,000 employees but Joyce was given a huge $1.6 billion in support from the government. So it’s understandable that Aussie travellers might be fuming somewhat in the wake of his comments, calling them “rusty” and not noting the fact that he had gotten rid of most of the staff. “Passengers are rusty in travelling,” he said. He then tried to relate to others by saying he forgot his passport the other day while travelling. “I left my passport in my hotel safe. One of my colleagues left her passport on a BA flight,” he said. “Another colleague last week thought that the gate number was her seat number and got them confused.” Sydney Airport has endured four days of crowds as people try to escape for the school and Easter holidays. Lines were seen snaking through the terminals and even outside the airport. On Monday, Joyce apologised for his comments and instead requested staff be patient. “I want to apologise to all of our passengers – on behalf of the airports who do the security, on behalf of the airlines having to deal with this, and ask our passengers for continued patience,” he told ABC News Breakfast. Large crowds are expected to continue through the Easter holidays up to ANZAC Day as people take advantage of the extra time off. Image: Getty

Travel Trouble

Blame game ensues over Sydney transport saga

Sydney’s public transport has been thrown into chaos today, with all train services cancelled. A breakdown in talks between the NSW Government and the Rail Tram and Bus Union (RTBU) has resulted in all services on the Sydney Train lines and intercity RailLink line being cancelled. Transport for NSW have said the decision is the result of industrial action, however the RTBU say the planned industrial action wouldn’t impact commuters and the trains have been cancelled by the government in “retaliation”. The government and the union have been exchanging blows this morning, with Premier Dominic Perrottet branding the situation a “coordinated attack” by the Labor Party and RTBU. “This is no accident. This is a concerted campaign by the unions and the Labor Party to cause mass disruption across our city. They are not even hiding it,” Mr Perrottet told reporters. “Today is the first day we have international arrivals coming in, a day where mums and dads are trying to get their kids to school, a day when many university students are going back to class for the first time and many people as a result of our announcement last week returning to work. “The unions were intent on causing chaos.” The NSW premier confirmed that the decision to cancel the trains had been made by Transport for NSW, but claimed they were “left with no alternative in terms of safety”. He said he was incredibly disappointed with what has occurred this morning, saying the union’s wrong interpretation of the decision made by the Industrial Relations Commission is to blame for the action taken by Sydney Trains. “This is a concerted, predetermined campaign by the union movement,” he said. “You cannot treat the people of our great state in this way and it is very, very clear that this is the Labor Party in bed with the union movement to cause mass disruption.” The decision to cancel the trains was made just before 2am, meaning commuters who rely on the train services have been left scrambling to find alternative transport. RTBU NSW Secretary Alex Claassens made it clear on Monday morning that the cancelled trains was not the result of a worker strike, branding it a “dummy spit” from the NSW government. Speaking at a press conference at Central Station, Mr Claassens said when staff turned up for work this morning, they were told by management that the trains had been cancelled. “You can imagine the shock this morning waking up and knowing that the government had just done the most low and dastardly thing you can imagine the government doing. They have locked out their workforce and they have inconvenienced the people of NSW just because it was going to be a little bit difficult,” he told reporters. At this stage no train replacement buses have been organised to help commuters, with people being told to find their own alternative transport arrangements. The impacted lines include the Airport and South Line, Bankstown Line, Blue Mountains Line, Central Coast & Newcastle Line, Cumberland Line, Eastern Suburbs & Illawarra Line, Hunter Line, Inner West & Leppington Line, North Shore Line, Northern Line, Olympic Park, South Coast Line, Southern Highlands Line and the Western Line. Ferry and Light Rails services are understood to be operating as usual. Image credits: Getty Images / Twitter

News

Man slammed online after blaming wife for “embarrassing” state of house

A man has been judged unworthy by the online community after complaining that his wife, a stay-at-home mother, didn’t clean the house well enough prior to the last-minute arrival of his guests. The 36-year-old <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/s25jy2/aita_for_telling_my_wife_that_it_was_embarrassing/" target="_blank">took to Reddit’s ‘AmIthe**hole’ section</a> to ask whether he was in the wrong for telling his wife their house was “embarrassing” after inviting guests over at short notice. To provide some context, the man wrote that he was the breadwinner of the family, while his wife stayed home and looked after their three children, all of whom are under ten. “My wife does her best to keep up with the cleaning and keeping the house tidy and I feel for her, I really do, so I told her she doesn’t have to clean up all the time since the kids are running up and down all day and making huge messes,” he wrote. He continued to say that the only caveat to their deal was that she had to ensure the house was clean when they had guests visiting, “and she agreed with me”. “Well, the other day I brought over some friends from work and when I opened the door all I could see was an utter mess, food and toys and clutter everywhere,” he recounted. “I was shocked, I was embarrassed and just mortified that my friends saw my home looking like this. “Also I have a couple of guys who came over for the first time so the first impression must’ve been horrible to them.” The man said he took his friends to the “least messy” part of the house, but they kept “making indirect comments about the state of the home” and giving him “weird looks” during their visit. “I was livid, I waited til they left then went into the bedroom to see that my wife was actually sleeping, I woke her up to ask why she didn’t tidy up the house knowing I was going to bring friends over,” he continued. “She said she didn’t know but I sent her a text letting her know and she said she didn’t see it. I told her it seemed like she did see the text but decided to ignore it? She said no but she wasn’t feeling well and had a headache so she thought of getting an hour-long nap. “I told her that it was so, so embarrassing that the house looked like this when my friends came over and that this was avoidable had she cleaned up and prepared the house for the guests.” His wife said the kids had caused the mess and that he should have double-checked with her about the guests visiting, which he said was blaming him for “her own actions (or lack of)”. He continued to say she was partly to blame for the house being “out of control” and in an “embarrassing” state. His wife then called him a “jerk” and left the room, and continued not to speak to him about the situation. Many users were quick to share their judgement that he was in the wrong for multiple reasons. However, moderators were forced to lock the thread after commentors violated Reddit’s ‘Be Civil’ clause. <img style="width: 500px; height: 84.13461538461539px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7846873/reddit.png" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/c14c1dfebd0c4645bb1dafc6f07f8400" /> The Reddit thread was eventually locked to prevent more people from commenting after the site’s ‘Be Civil’ rule was violated multiple times. Image: Reddit “You basically spring this upon her, didn’t check to see if she happened to see the one (1) text where you just casually decided to spontaneously bring home people that day, and showed literally zero care that she wasn’t feeling well,” one user wrote. “SAHM stands for stay at home mum, not stay at home maid. Her priority is the children. Not to be on call to make the house look unrealistically tidy in an hour’s time.” The man later clarified that they usually communicate via text, and that it was unusual for her not to check her phone. "Even if she saw the text, who's to say that was enough time to do all the cleaning needed? Or that she didn't have another obstacle like being out of the house for the afternoon or being sick, like she was," another user said. "[You're the a--hole] for assuming she generally has tons of time to clean while parenting, for giving her inadequate notice about guests, for telling her about guests, not asking if it was okay to have guests over, for not feeling any responsibility to help clean the house the night before if you're planning on asking people over and for generally treating her like your maid and not working to come up with other solutions to keep the house to your desired cleanliness." Image: Getty Images

Relationships

Director blames millennials for box office flop

Director Ridley Scott has placed the blame for his latest movie’s poor performance on millennials for a bizarre reason: their mobile phones. Scott’s medieval film, The Last Duel, is based on a real-life ritual duel between knight Jean de Carrouges (Matt Damon) and squire Jacques Le Gris (Adam Driver) after Jean’s wife, Marguerite (Jodie Comer) accuses Jacques of sexually assaulting her. Despite the A-list cast and positive reviews ahead of its release in cinemas, The Last Duel has bombed at the box office after raking in $4.8 million on its opening weekend. It currently has a domestic gross of $10 million, a sliver of its $100 million budget. The 83-year-old director behind hit films like Alien, Gladiator, and Blade Runner first mentioned his gripe with the millennial generation during an appearance on Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> Today is Ridley Scott day on <a href="https://t.co/KBRiPQLutw">https://t.co/KBRiPQLutw</a>! Blade Runner, historical epics, his secret weapon in filmmaking, House of Gucci! Great talk! Do it up! Episode - <a href="https://t.co/PWcTZfeV3k">https://t.co/PWcTZfeV3k</a> On <a href="https://twitter.com/ApplePodcasts?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@ApplePodcasts</a> - <a href="https://t.co/utE9C6ox5Z">https://t.co/utE9C6ox5Z</a> On <a href="https://twitter.com/Stitcher?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@Stitcher</a> - <a href="https://t.co/r1E9mtQF2k">https://t.co/r1E9mtQF2k</a> <a href="https://t.co/dPkQXhplgA">pic.twitter.com/dPkQXhplgA</a> — WTF with Marc Maron (@WTFpod) <a href="https://twitter.com/WTFpod/status/1462823039213572100?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">November 22, 2021</a></blockquote> Though many were expecting Scott to lay the blame on Disney after the entertainment conglomerate snapped up 20th Century Fox and its slate of films, he said Disney was pleased with the movie and he was happy with how they handled its release. “Disney did a fantastic promotion job. The bosses loved the movie because I was concerned it was not for them,” Scott said. “I think what it boils down to - what we’ve got today [are] audiences who were brought up on these f**king cell phones. Scott accused the “millenian” generation of refusing to learn anything unless it was taught through their phone and believed their attitude came from social media. “This is a broad stroke, but I think we’re dealing with it right now with Facebook,” he continued. “This is a misdirection that has happened where it’s given the wrong kind of confidence to this latest generation, I think.” <blockquote style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CVd0ZWELMtO/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"></div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"></div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"></div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"></div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"></div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" rel="noopener" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CVd0ZWELMtO/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank">A post shared by 20th Century Studios (@20thcenturystudios)</a> </div> </blockquote> The film’s poor performance could be partially blamed on the COVID-19 pandemic, which would have kept older audiences - the movie’s prime demographic - away from cinemas. Recent box office trends have also found that most audiences have been flocking to superhero, science fiction, and horror films, rather than historical dramas like The Last Duel. Plus, the film has debuted in a bumper month of releases, competing against the likes of superhero film Venom: Let There Be Carnage, sci-fi epic Dune and the long-awaited No Time to Die. The Last Duel’s lacklustre performance could also point to a change in audience expectations, reported by <a rel="noopener" href="https://screenrant.com/last-duel-movie-failure-ridley-scott-millennials-response/" target="_blank">Screen Rant</a>. With audiences coming to cinemas to see epic, blockbuster movies, smaller films and period pieces like The Last Duel have become films audiences will wait to watch until they can be streamed. Image: Getty Images

Movies

Feeling lonelier during Covid? A lack of physical touch could be to blame

With COVID-19 restrictions making us stay 1.5 metres away from others or relying on technology to see friends and loved ones, it’s unsurprising that we are feeling lonelier than before. But new international research has found that a lack of physical touch can have negative impacts on mental health and feelings of loneliness. The team conducted an online study of 1746 people during the first wave of lockdowns in early 2020. The survey included questions asking participants about their intimate, friendly, and professional touch experiences before and during COVID-19 restrictions, as well as self-reported measures about their wellbeing. They found that those who experienced more intimate touch in the week before the study reported lower levels of anxiety and feelings of loneliness. For those who reported a lack of intimate touch, they also reported increased levels of anxiety and greater feelings of loneliness. They also found that intimate touch was the type of touch most craved by participants. Since physical touch is an important aspect of intimate and romantic relationships, with previous work suggesting that touch can buffer feelings of social isolation, the researchers argue that it is especially important during times of distress, such as during the pandemic. The team also suggested that physical and intimate touch may work as a “protective factor” against common reactions to the pandemic, such as anxiety, stress, and depression. What we can do about it Though we still can’t touch or hug others, staying connected can still protect us from feeling lonely. Video conferencing technology has boomed as a result of the pandemic, but switching to alternative methods of keeping in contact can help you stay in touch without encountering as much ‘Zoom fatigue’. This could look like switching to phone calls and texts, sending voice notes, or penning letters to your loved ones. In times of distress, it is important to fend off social isolation, even if it can’t be done through physical touch. The study was published in <a rel="noopener" href="https://doi.org/10.1098/rsos.210287" target="_blank">Royal Society Open Science</a>. Image: Getty Images

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Feeling lonelier during Covid? A lack of physical touch could be to blame

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