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A dating coach’s guide to making a lasting impression with that special someone

<p><em><strong>Monica Parikh is a lawyer, writer, and dating coach. She started the <a href="http://www.schooloflovenyc.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">School of Love in New York City</span></a> to help men and women develop happier and healthier relationships.</strong></em></p> <p>When my ex-husband disappeared, I unexpectedly got divorced at 36 years old. I went back on the dating market--after a 10-year hiatus. Flirting was the best tool in my arsenal (besides an optimistic attitude). Before long, I was meeting men in all sorts of places—the subway, elevators, the gym, and airports.</p> <p>In my coaching practice, I often see women and men who have forgotten how to flirt. Oh, the pity! Flirting adds spicy intrigue to the mundane. If you’re single, it’s a wonderful way to signal availability and interest. If you’re in a relationship, it helps maintain spark and fuels passion. A little simple flirting says to the world, “I’m alive!”</p> <p>Flirtation is simply the art of conversation amped up a notch. I’ve always been a good flirt, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become a better—mostly because I’ve grown in confidence and self-esteem. A few key tips:</p> <p><strong>1. Radiate strength</strong></p> <p>Naked selfies aren’t sexy. Neither is telling your life story on a first date. Real sexiness stems from the ability to tickle the imagination and create intrigue. Less exhibitionism, fewer words, and more confidence fuel desire.</p> <p><strong>2. Smile</strong></p> <p>Smile big and often — it lights up your face and says that you’re approachable and warm. It is the green light that gives others confidence to approach you and start conversation.</p> <p><strong>3. Be playfully combative</strong></p> <p>When we’re attracted to someone, we often veer toward being overly agreeable and conciliatory. Talk about throwing cold water on a spark! Being challenging, feisty, and a bit unpredictable (while still being nice) is very sexy. My partner and I often playfully spar with words. Intelligent banter makes for a very flirtatious (and fun) relationship.</p> <p><strong>4. Create an air of mystery</strong></p> <p>When I was single, a stranger on an elevator once offered to walk me to the subway with his umbrella during a rainstorm. When we arrived, he asked for my number. I demurred, saying that I don’t talk to strangers. (Wink.) He offered his card. I took it but made no promises. He was handsome and charismatic, so I knew he was used to having women chase him.</p> <p>I waited several days (to build intrigue) and sent him a one-sentence email. He responded immediately, admitting that he checked his email constantly for word from me. Not knowing where the other person stands fuels desire. So, hold your cards close to your chest.</p> <p><strong>5. Laugh</strong></p> <p>We’re all a little too serious. Take a ribbing. Give a ribbing. Laugh until your sides ache. Dating and romance are supposed to be fun, after all.</p> <p><strong>6. Tap into your feminine (or masculine) energy</strong></p> <p>I have a serious job as a lawyer during the day, so I make deliberate efforts to tap into my softer side after work. I often go home, take a bath and change clothes before a date. I love jewel-colored dresses, red lipstick, and French perfume. This little ritual “washes” the 9-to-5 off me and helps me tap into a different energy/vibration. Each person’s formula is unique, but spend time figuring out the clothing, style, and rituals that bring about the most authentic and empowered you.</p> <p><strong>7. Ask questions</strong></p> <p>Conversation with a stranger can be daunting. My advice? Show interest in your beloved’s work, hobbies, family, and interests. Sit back and relax while they open up. You will glean key insights. And I guarantee they will remember you as an amazing conversationalist while they have performed the bulk of the work.</p> <p><strong>8. Say a person's name — often</strong></p> <p>My game changed for the better after reading Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. While technically not a dating book, it’s a wonderful guide on how to be a more engaging person. Carnegie says that someone's name is "to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” Pay attention when someone introduces themselves. Repeat their name back immediately. Sprinkle it throughout conversation. Be amazed at the result.</p> <p><strong>9. Show warmth</strong></p> <p>Gently touching someone’s hand or back is a wonderful way to show interest. Be respectful of another person’s space. It’s not about draping yourself all over them (or being clingy), which is a big turn-off. It’s about small signals of interest, respectfully scattered here and there.</p> <p><strong>10. Be original</strong></p> <p>Successful flirting is about being 100 percent you. Personally, I’m an extroverted nerd who loves the public library, backpacking through Asia, Wes Anderson films, and 1970's soul music. Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd. Accept that what makes you unique also makes you memorable. That is the most powerful vibrational frequency you can live in — and one that will surely attract an ideal partner.</p> <p><em>Images: Getty</em></p>

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“Surely a baby can’t do that”: Fitness guru stuns fans

<p>British fitness coach has left fans shocked after posting a photo of his seven-month-old hanging from a pull-up bar.</p> <p>The fitness guru, and founder of the popular fitness app The Body Coach, posted a series of sweet snaps to his Instagram of a recent family holiday to California, USA.</p> <p>The photo has gained a lot of traction online among his 4.6 million followers.</p> <p>The image shows baby Leny dressed in a white onesie dangling from a tall monkey bar at the beach while Wicks looks on proudly.</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cq3C-ywLb6k/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/Cq3C-ywLb6k/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Joe Wicks (@thebodycoach)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p> Many followers were concerned about Leni, calling out the dad-of-three for such a “risky” pose.</p> <p>"Jesus, is the first pic photoshopped?" wrote one follower.</p> <p>"How is the first pic even possible?!" asked another. "Surely a baby can't do that?”</p> <p>Another added, ”Is that safe for her shoulders and joints to hang onto bars supporting her own weight like that?</p> <p>"Please don't do that to your baby. She would be frightened," wrote a fourth, sparking a debate in the comment section.</p> <p>"She doesn't look fine to me and a lot of people agree. This is cruel and would instinctually cause fear in the baby. If you think that's OK you are a cruel person.”</p> <p>Some were impressed by the “super baby”, taken back by her strength for her age and defended Wicks against his critics.</p> <p>"That first picture of Leni is amazing! You need to recreate that every year!" wrote one follower. "I love how you let them take risks.”</p> <p>"Your kids have iron man genes," another added. "Wow Leni is strong holding on to the monkey bars, that's brilliant.”</p> <p>Those that came to the dad’s defence reminded critics that the baby would not have been there for long.</p> <p>"My babies/toddlers could all do this when they were young. It was only for a few seconds. We were there ready to catch them," one said.</p> <p>"It is called the palmar grasp reflex and it is normal for babies," wrote another.</p> <p>A child gymnastics company, Little Gym UK also came to the dad’s defence, saying, "For those questioning if it's photoshopped, our classes start at four months and babies can absolutely grasp and hang this little.”</p> <p>While it’s no myth newborns do have a grasp reflex and the grip is often “strong enough to hold the baby’s entire weight”, experts do not advise picking up or swinging a toddler by their arms as it can lead to a common injury called Nursemaid’s elbow.</p> <p>Wicks has two other children with his wife Rosie, Indie, four, and Marley, three.</p> <p><em>Image credit: Instagram</em></p>

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“You will be dearly missed!”: Pioneering tennis coach Nick Bollettieri dies

<p dir="ltr">Renowned tennis coach Nick Bollettieri has died aged 91, with tributes flowing in from fans and former students.</p> <p dir="ltr">Bolletieri was born to Italian immigrant parents who served in the military and dropped out of law school to become a tennis coach, going on to found the Nick Bollettieri Tennis Academy in Florida in 1978, which produced some of the world’s best players.</p> <p dir="ltr">Bollettieri’s academy was later bought by the International Management Group (IMG) in 1987.</p> <p dir="ltr">Having coached 10 World No.1 players, Bollettieri was inducted into the International Tennis Hall of Fame in 2014.</p> <p dir="ltr">His former students include the likes of Tommy Haas - Germany’s former World No. 2 - as well as Andre Agassi, Serena and Venus Williams, Monica Seles and Maria Sharapova.</p> <p dir="ltr">Following the news of his former mentor’s death, Haas was among the first to pay tribute to Bolliettieri, describing him “a dreamer” and “pioneer”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Thank you for your time, knowledge, commitment, expertise, the willingness to share your skill, your personal interest in mentoring me and giving me the best opportunity to follow my dreams,” Haas wrote on Instagram.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-b19ade94-7fff-28e1-321f-2a8f6ff7da4e"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">“You were a dreamer and a doer, and a pioneer in our sport, truly one of a kind.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">A pioneer, a visionary, a mentor, a coach, and a friend 💙 </p> <p>One of the biggest influences in the game of tennis, Nick Bollettieri, has passed away at the age of 91. Our condolences go out to his family, friends and everyone he impacted. <a href="https://t.co/jQMWhar9FR">pic.twitter.com/jQMWhar9FR</a></p> <p>— ATP Tour (@atptour) <a href="https://twitter.com/atptour/status/1599826153279082496?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 5, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">2013 Wimbledon runner-up Sabine Lisicki said Bollettieri had “shaped the game of tennis” and helped children achieve their dreams.</p> <p dir="ltr">“You have given so many children a place to work for their dream. Supporting them with your knowledge and the belief that anything is possible. I was fortunate to be one of them,”she tweeted. </p> <p dir="ltr">“You will be dearly missed!”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-cc8902de-7fff-5a02-cc53-815fe5f3160d"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Agassi said that Bollettieri had “graduated from us” with a heartfelt throwback photo of them both.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">Our dear friend, Nick Bollettieri, graduated from us last night. He gave so many a chance to live their dream. He showed us all how life can be lived to the fullest…</p> <p>Thank you, Nick 🙏🏼 <a href="https://t.co/PhO36oPWpI">pic.twitter.com/PhO36oPWpI</a></p> <p>— Andre Agassi (@AndreAgassi) <a href="https://twitter.com/AndreAgassi/status/1599815626109116416?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 5, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“Our dear friend, Nick Bollettieri, graduated from us last night. He gave so many a chance to live their dream. He showed us all how life can be lived to the fullest… Thank you Nick,” he wrote on Twitter.</p> <p dir="ltr">Former World No. 1 Billie Jean King described the late coach as one of tennis’ “most passionate coaches & advocates”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Nick was always positive & was able to get the best out of everyone fortunate enough to work w/ him,” she <a href="https://twitter.com/BillieJeanKing/status/1599772629925249024">wrote</a>.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Our thoughts and prayers go out to his family & team at the Academy.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-74f5b032-7fff-ab3f-d17b-280b723853e0"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Patrick Mouratoglou, another coach who worked with Serena Williams, wrote that Bollettieri’s passing represented the loss of an important figure in the tennis family.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">I am very saddened by the loss of <a href="https://twitter.com/NickBollettieri?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@NickBollettieri</a> <br />The tennis family has lost someone very important today, someone who has made our industry grow and has opened opportunities for coaches and players. <br />We will remember the very special human being you were and will miss you.</p> <p>— Patrick Mouratoglou (@pmouratoglou) <a href="https://twitter.com/pmouratoglou/status/1599766583513006080?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 5, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“Someone who has made our industry grow and has opened opportunities for coaches and players,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“We will remember the very special human being you were and will miss you.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Sports journalist Ben Rothenberg described Bollettieri as “an absolute giant in the sport” and said it was “hard to overstate how much he changed the course of pro tennis in the last four decades”.</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-f4123164-7fff-00bd-9120-06ecfdc79a61"></span></p> <p dir="ltr">Another social media user shared a clip of the coach answering questions from his son and other young tennis students, including the question of what made him want to coach.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">RIP Nick Bollettieri! </p> <p>Your answer to my son‘s question should be taken as a great lesson for each of us.</p> <p>We will always remember you! <a href="https://t.co/uB45UKcRCo">pic.twitter.com/uB45UKcRCo</a></p> <p>— Ovidiu Ursachi 🇪🇺 (@ursachi) <a href="https://twitter.com/ursachi/status/1599821824132530177?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 5, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">“Well, I wasn’t a good tennis player, but God gave me the ability to make people feel good about themselves. That’s what it’s all about,” he said in the clip.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And remember something, Nick doesn’t want to be remembered for the ten No. 1’s, Nick wants to be remembered that I made an impact on your life.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Even though I trained ten No. 1’s in the world, I also helped a lot of inner-city children that have nothing,” he said when asked how many good players he had trained.</p> <p dir="ltr">“That’s important to me. Nick wants to be remembered for helping me have a chance in life. That’s important.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-cfc523b2-7fff-1ce5-d628-4c3cc3e150c1"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

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Rugby League icon dead at 49

<p dir="ltr">The NRL world is in mourning following the death of legendary coach and former player Paul Green at the age of 49. </p> <p dir="ltr">The premiership-winning coach had reportedly not complained about any illness and was found dead at his home in Brisbane on Thursday. </p> <p dir="ltr">A post-mortem will be carried out to determine his cause of death.  </p> <p dir="ltr">Former Melbourne Storm and Maroons hooker Cameron Smith, who was coached by Green in the earlier days said he was “heartbroken” upon hearing the news.</p> <p dir="ltr">“A very sad part of the day,” he said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“It’s certainly rocked myself…and everyone in the rugby league world.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It’s a sad day for everyone involved in the rugby league family and community. We send our best wishes and condolences out to the entire Green family.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I was fortunate enough, he was my kicking and catching coach when I was coming through at the Broncos and he was also my coach when I was at Wynnum.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I had a small amount to do with him but in the time I did, it was actually really interesting the year I was at Wynnum I ended up signing with another club to leave but we had a really tough start to the season. Greeny managed to turn the Wynnum Seagulls around and we won the premiership that year.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He’s a fighter. It’s a very sad day to see Greeny go like that.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Green had an incredible NRL career, playing 162 first grade matches between 1994-2004 and winning the prestigious Rothmans Medal in 1995 as the game's best and fairest.</p> <p dir="ltr">He played for several different clubs including Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks, North Queensland Cowboys, Sydney Roosters, Parramatta Eels and the Brisbane Broncos.</p> <p dir="ltr">Green eventually swapped his playing boots to coaching ones as he took on the North Queensland Cowboys from 2014-2020.</p> <p dir="ltr">He helped the Cowboys finally win their first ever premiership in 2015. </p> <p dir="ltr">Green last coached Queensland’s State of Origin side in 2021 and was due for a comeback into coaching in 2023 with the new NRL team, Dolphins. </p> <p dir="ltr">Green is survived by wife Amanda and children Emerson and Jed.</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty</em></p>

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Former swim coach Dick Caine arrested for alleged historical sexual abuse

<p dir="ltr"><em>Content warning: This article includes mentions of child sexual abuse (CSA).</em></p> <p dir="ltr">Former swimming coach Dick Caine has been arrested and charged over the sexual abuse of two teenagers he trained in the 1970s.</p> <p dir="ltr">Police arrested the 76-year-old at a home in Condell Park, in Sydney’s south-west, and took him to Bankstown Police Station on Wednesday morning, according to a <a href="https://www.police.nsw.gov.au/news/news_article?sq_content_src=%2BdXJsPWh0dHBzJTNBJTJGJTJGZWJpenByZC5wb2xpY2UubnN3Lmdvdi5hdSUyRm1lZGlhJTJGMTAxOTgzLmh0bWwmYWxsPTE%3D" target="_blank" rel="noopener">statement</a> from NSW Police.</p> <p dir="ltr">He was charged with nine offences relating to the alleged abuse of two teenage students at a swim school in Carss Park, south of Sydney.</p> <p dir="ltr">After a woman reported to police that she was targeted while she was a student at the swim school, investigators under Strike Force Coco uncovered further allegations of another teenage girl being abused at the same swim school.</p> <p dir="ltr">Acting Superintendent Chris Nicholson said police will allege the victims were aged 16 and 17 at the time of the alleged offences, which he said took place “in a number of locations in and around the southern Sydney area”, per <em><a href="https://www.9news.com.au/national/dick-caine-former-swim-coach-arrested-on-allegations-sexual-abuse-teenage-female-athletes-in-1970s/c856a380-f722-4513-a4f1-d0fbd326b809" target="_blank" rel="noopener">9News</a></em>.</p> <p dir="ltr">The charges laid against Caine include six counts of carnal knowledge by a teacher of a girl aged 0-17, and three counts of indecent assault.</p> <p dir="ltr">Caine has been refused bail and is due to face Bankstown Local Court on Wednesday.</p> <p dir="ltr">Nicholson also praised the women who came forward for their “courage and bravery” and shared a message for other survivors.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I would like to say to all survivors of sexual abuse living in our community that the NSW Police Force wants to listen to your story,” he said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“What today should show is that whether the NSW Police Force receives an allegation of sexual violence that occurred yesterday, or last week, or last year or 50 years ago, that we will investigate all matters that come to our attention with our full potential and we will wrap our full support around victim-survivors as they tell their story.”</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-4a138780-7fff-b32f-558f-302c88a98b3e"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: TeamCaine.com.au</em></p>

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Tennis legend Pam Shriver opens up on "traumatic" affair

<p dir="ltr">Tennis star Pam Shriver has shared an insight into the “inappropriate” and “traumatic” affair she had with her coach as a teen, hoping her story will prompt tennis organisations to address the “alarmingly common” issue.</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-a378a0f4-7fff-9d01-33aa-4243bedd7673">Shriver wrote about her experience in a column for the <em><a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/tennis/2022/04/20/pam-shriver-exclusive-inappropriate-relationship-50-year-old/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">UK Telegraph</a></em>, revealing how the relationship she had with her Australian coach Don Candy was “inappropriate and damaging”.</span></p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr" lang="en">This is not an easy story for me to tell, but it is time. </p> <p>You can listen to my story on the <a href="https://twitter.com/TennisPodcast?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@TennisPodcast</a> - <a href="https://t.co/81m3Ryfwr4">https://t.co/81m3Ryfwr4</a></p> <p>You can read my story <a href="https://twitter.com/TelegraphSport?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@TelegraphSport</a> - <a href="https://t.co/ckvTF4SSQQ">https://t.co/ckvTF4SSQQ</a> <a href="https://t.co/ZRHJMxPTjg">pic.twitter.com/ZRHJMxPTjg</a></p> <p>— Pam Shriver (@PHShriver) <a href="https://twitter.com/PHShriver/status/1516753194893778945?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">April 20, 2022</a></p></blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Candy, who passed away in 2020, began working with Shriver when she was just nine years old and coached her when she went through to the final of the US Open at 16.</p> <p dir="ltr">She said she told the 50-year-old she was falling in love with him when she was 17, with the pair going on to have an affair.</p> <p dir="ltr">“My main motivation is to let people know this still goes on - a lot,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I believe abusive coaching relationships are alarmingly common in sport as a whole. My particular experience, though, is in tennis, where I have witnessed dozens of instances in my four-and-a-bit decades as a player and commentator.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Every time I hear about a player who is dating their coach, or I see a male physio working on a female body in the gym, it sets my alarm bells ringing.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Shriver shared that she had “conflicted feelings” about Candy, and that though she wasn’t sexually abused, “there was emotional abuse”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“I felt so many horrendous emotions and I felt so alone. The worst would be my anger and jealousy when his wife came to tournaments,” the 22-time grand slam champion wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“It was horrible. I can’t even tell you how many nights I just sobbed in my room - and then had to go out and play a match the next day.</p> <p dir="ltr">“Yes, he and I became involved in a long and inappropriate affair. Yes, he was cheating on his wife. But there was a lot about him that was honest and authentic. And I loved him. Even so, he was the grown-up there.</p> <p dir="ltr">“He should have been the trustworthy adult. In a different world, he would have found a way to keep things professional. Only after therapy did I start to feel a little less responsible. Now, at last, I’ve come to realise that what happened is on him.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Shriver wrote the her ability to form normal relationships had been “stunted” by the affair, which had been a “traumatic experience” for her.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The after-effects lasted far beyond the time we spent together. Our affair shaped my whole experience of romantic life,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">Though she suggested some possible solutions to the issue, Shriver said she doesn’t have all the answers.</p> <p dir="ltr">“By the time they graduate to the main tennis tour, many patterns have already been set,” she wrote.</p> <p dir="ltr">“And then there’s the coaches. The best way to protect their charges is to put them through an education process before they arrive on tour.</p> <p dir="ltr">“The same goes for other credential-holders: physios, fitness trainers and so on. The point has to be made very clearly: these kinds of relationships are not appropriate, and there will be consequences for those who cross the line.”</p> <p><span id="docs-internal-guid-880a4695-7fff-b9d3-c532-a2b612c24e75"></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Getty Images</em></p>

Relationships

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"You're massive": Biggest Loser coach in tears over callous comments

<p dir="ltr">Former <em>Biggest Loser</em> trainer Tiffany Hall has opened up about the disgusting comments she’s received about her weight while pregnant. </p> <p dir="ltr">The 37-year-old shared the awful incidents on husband Ed Kavalee’s radio show, Hughesy, Ed &amp; Erin on 2 Day FM’s, on Wednesday. </p> <p dir="ltr">Some of the comments include men calling her “massive” or suggesting she “​​must be expecting a girl as she’s stolen your looks”.</p> <p dir="ltr">“People just think that when you’re pregnant, they get to say whatever they want to you,” the mother-of-one began. </p> <p dir="ltr">“It’s hurting my feelings and it’s getting a bit too much especially because I still have seven weeks to go. And everyone’s just like, ‘Oh my God, you must be about to pop, you’re massive, you’re enormous, you must have three in there’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Kavalee was just as shocked at the comments thrown at his wife, who is upset that he didn’t do anything about it. </p> <p dir="ltr">“We have had two men in public say, while I’m standing there, to my wife, ‘You’re massive. You’re massive’,” he said. </p> <p dir="ltr">“A man in a cafe said to my wife, ‘You must be having a girl as she’s stolen your looks. My wife had three girls and all she had is a tiny basketball. But you’re massive’.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Co-host and mother Erin Molan responded: “Are you kidding me?”</p> <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/p/CXF8AbJPcqG/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CXF8AbJPcqG/?utm_source=ig_embed&amp;utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by Tiffiny Hall (@tiffhall_xo)</a></p> </div> </blockquote> <p dir="ltr">Tiffany however said what hurt as well was the fact that her husband did not do anything about the comments which saw her cry. </p> <p dir="ltr">“Ed didn’t do any Will Smith action at all,” she said.</p> <p dir="ltr">“You didn’t do anything, Ed. I was dying, I actually cried after that. I got in the car and I had a cry.”</p> <p dir="ltr">Tiffany and Ed have share one child together, Arnold, and are expecting another baby later in the year. </p> <p dir="ltr">Sharing a smiling photo of herself holding her baby bump, Tiffany captioned the image: “A dream come true. Baby Kavalee coming in 2022.”</p> <p dir="ltr"><em>Image: Instagram</em></p>

Body

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Woman turns herself in after fatal attack on 87-year-old singing coach

<p>A 26-year-old woman has turned herself in to police after admitting to attacking an 87-year-old woman, which led to her death. </p> <p>Lauren Pazienza shoved Barbara Maier Gustern before striking her on the back of the head in an unprompted attack on March 10th in New York City. </p> <p>The NYPD released a picture of the woman wanted for the attack, just days before Lauren turned herself in to authorities. </p> <p>Police identified Pazienza through video and her Metrocard, police sources said.</p> <p>Pazienza covered her face with her hair as she was led by detectives to a car for transport to criminal court, as she refused to answer reporters who asked her about the allegation she pushed Gustern.</p> <p>Following the brutal attack, Barbara was in critical condition until she died from her injuries on March 14th. </p> <p>“Today, at 11:15am, we have lost one of the brightest little flames to ever grace this world,” her grandson wrote on Gustern’s Facebook page. </p> <p>“I ask that you all give me a little time and space, but I want to make time for anyone and everyone who wants to know more about her final moments,” the post said.</p> <p>“Bobbob, I love you, you are and always will be my heart,” it said. “I love you all so much, I could not have made it through these past 5 days without all of your support.”</p> <p>Barbara Maier Gustern, who was a renowned vocal coach and tutored famous students including Blondie singer Debbie Harry, was walking around at night alone when the attack occurred. </p> <p>Her red-headed attacker then ran off, with police saying the attacker crossed the street before pushing Gustern, who suffered a fatal head injury.</p> <p>NYPD Chief of Detectives James Essig described it as a “disgusting, disgraceful law offence” committed against a “vulnerable elderly female who is doing nothing but walking down the streets of New York City”.</p> <p><em>Image credits: NYPD / Facebook</em></p>

Travel Trouble

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Titmus launches to legend status – along with her coach

<p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Ariarne Titmus has won gold in the 400m freestyle in a surprise victory, overtaking American Katie Ledecky in the final 50m.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Titmus’ victory comes as Ledecky’s first ever loss of an individual event at a Games, with the Aussie victor winning by 0.67 seconds.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">As amazing as the win was for Titmus, the reaction of her coach, Dean Boxall, has sent social media into a frenzy.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Footage from the Games shows Boxall grabbing his mask, punching the air, shaking the fence, and enthusiastically shouting following Titmus’ win.</span></p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">SHOUT AHT DEAN BOXALL <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Tokyo2020?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Tokyo2020</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Olympics?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#Olympics</a> <br /><br /><a href="https://t.co/NyjgB0A3dz">pic.twitter.com/NyjgB0A3dz</a></p> — Lord Zito (@VivalaZito) <a href="https://twitter.com/VivalaZito/status/1419485527632498700?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 26, 2021</a></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">His zealous reaction soon made him an internet sensation, with his excitement quickly being shared across social media.</span></p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet"> <p dir="ltr">Ariarne’s coach Dean Boxall sums it up perfectly! <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/TokyoTogether?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#TokyoTogether</a> <a href="https://t.co/Kvww2jpSFy">pic.twitter.com/Kvww2jpSFy</a></p> — AUS Olympic Team (@AUSOlympicTeam) <a href="https://twitter.com/AUSOlympicTeam/status/1419488700069683201?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">July 26, 2021</a></blockquote> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Joe Pompliano, a US-based sports and business writer, tweeted: “Ariarne Titmus’ coach just had the best reaction of all time to her 400-metre freestyle gold medal win over Katie Ledecky.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Others were concerned the coach’s popularity would outshine the successful swimmer.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I can already foresee Titmus’ uncomfortably aggressive coach getting more media attention in the US than she does, and I am pre-emptively very very very annoyed by it!!” American sports writer Lindsay Gibbs tweeted.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Titmus struggled to keep her emotions in check ahead of her heats in the 200m swim later in the day, but was thrilled with the victory.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe it. This past year I don’t know whether it’s gone fast or slow, but to get here was a relief. To come here and do the job. I’m over the moon,” Titmus said.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“I thanked her. I wouldn’t be here without her. She set this incredible standard. All credit to her for the swimmer she is. I’ve been trying to chase her. Really exciting now we have this battle going. It’s really fun to race.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“The race, I tried to stay as composed as I could, then just tried to stick to my race plan. I can’t believe I pulled it off.”</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">Boxall was in tears at the medal ceremony while embracing Australia’s newest champion.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">“It was actually hard to contain it (the emotion),” Titmus said. “I could see Dean on the other side bawling his eyes out. You don’t see that that often so that made me want to tear up.”</span></p> <p><em><span style="font-weight: 400;">Image: Ariarne Titmus / Instagram, Adrian Arculi / Twitter</span></em></p>

News

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Princess Diana's voice coach's sweet promise to her sons

<p>Princess Diana's voice coach Stewart Pearce has opened up about his experience with working with the late royal in his new book Diana: The Voice of Change.</p> <p>The biography is almost 25 years in the making after Pearce kept a decades-long promise to Princess Diana after she sought him out after the controversial Panorama interview in 1995.</p> <p>This interview is where she famously said that there "were three of us in the marriage", meaning herself, Prince Charles and his now-wife Camilla.</p> <p>"She sought me out after that Panorama interview because she looked at herself on screen and realized that she wasn't appearing to be as powerful as she wanted to be. She felt quite submissive," Pearce tells T&amp;C.</p> <p>"She wanted to try and find a way of really balancing her private self with her public persona so that there is no change between the two—so she could stand on a platform and render forth whatever she needed to say, but feel good about it, to feel relaxed, to feel confident, to feel empowered, and to feel harmony."</p> <p>She and Pearce spoke about a book about their time together before she died in a car crash, but she was insistent that she didn't want the book published until her sons, Prince Harry and Prince William, were settled in their lives.</p> <p>"When we were working together during the latter stages of her life—not that we knew that then, of course, her death came as a very surprising, shocking, horrific event—but she said to me, 'Wouldn't it be wonderful if all this work we've done became a book? And I said, 'Yeah, that would be wonderful. Wouldn't it?'</p> <p>She said, "Yes, but don't write it until the boys are married, because then they're going to be exploring their own power in the world and discovering their own sovereignty.' And that was just a passing statement, so I thought that was rather amusing, but I waited until now."</p> <p>He wanted to document Diana's "essence" instead of the time they spent together.</p> <p>"I wrote the book because I felt that there was something very valuable to say about Diana's soul what allowed her to ignite the radiance that she brought forth into the world," he says.</p> <p>"[Most biographies] chronicle Diana's life, as though they were social diaries. And I chose not to do that. I wanted to go to the very essence of who she was and to talk about the quality of her soul, which was just so remarkable in its beauty, in its loving, in its compassion, in its empathy."</p>

Books

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“Enough, I’m sick of it”: Erin Molan reaches breaking point

<p><span>Channel 9 presenter Erin Molan has had enough of the internet bullies and is putting her foot down once and for all by issuing an emotional plea.</span><br /><br /><span>The star says vicious social media trolls need to be punished after showing some of the horrifying messages she receives on a daily basis.</span><br /><br /><span>Speaking on WSFM 101.7’s Jonesy and Amanda, the NRL host spoke about shocking personal rumours that were spreading online about Broncos coach Anthony Seibold.</span><br /><br /><span>From there, Molan went on a passionate spiel about about the need to hold people accountable for their actions.</span><br /><br /><span>Molan is no stranger to vicious online tirades, saying she has been sent messages including “your daughter will die”, “you should die” and “I will ensure you and your daughter die”.</span><br /><br /><span>Unfortunately when she’s taken the horrifying messages and comments to the eSafety Commission, she’s been told there’s nothing the authorities can do.</span><br /><br /><span>Molan blasted the despicable trolling of Seibold, who has hired lawyers and European cybersecurity experts to trace the origin of the smear campaign against him.</span><br /><br /><span>She went on to praise the coach for taking action into his own hands.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height:281.25px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7837456/new-project-14.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/e3ac43980dec4a479efe291e86535c97" /></p> <p><em>Broncos coach Anthony Seibold</em><br /><br /><span>“Some of these rumours that have been circulating and some of the trolling that he has received has been some of the vilest that I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen some pretty vile stuff and I’ve been the recipient of some pretty vile stuff,” Molan said.</span><br /><br /><span>“I am so glad that he is taking action, I’m so glad that he has got lawyers. I’m so glad that he has got cyber experts from overseas.</span><br /><br /><span>“Trolling is not someone not liking you. Trolling is not someone going online and saying, ‘Erin I don’t like your dress’ or ‘Erin I don’t like you’. That’s not trolling.</span><br /><br /><span>“Trolling is vile, repeated harassment. It is threatening, it is so serious … Things need to change.”</span><br /><br /><span>Molan went on to say that she wants perpetrators to receive demanding threats of jail or huge fines to warn them of the serious repercussions they should face.</span><br /><br /><span>“The whole conversation around trolling at the moment is for the victim. Block them, ignore them, report them, got off social media,” Molan said.</span><br /><br /><span>“No! I’m sorry, that’s not good enough.</span><br /><br /><span>“Social media is really important for a lot of people. You should not have to get offline because you are being trolled. We need to change the conversation, we need to be saying to perpetrators, ‘You can go to jail, you can be fined, you can be sued for defamation for hundreds of thousands of dollars’.</span><br /><br /><span>“This conversation needs to change.</span><br /><br /><span>“I’m sick of people telling victims to get off social media or to ignore them. We need to have campaigns out there that say to people, ‘You can go to jail if you make things up that ruin people’s reputations. You can go to jail if you threaten someone’s life’.</span><br /><br /><span>“I know I’m fired up about this, I get very passionate about it, because this has to be a line in the sand moment.</span><br /><br /><span>“Trolling and bullying and the abuse of people online will never stop unless people think they will be accountable for their actions.”</span><br /><br /><span>Molan also called on the NRL to take a stand against social media trolling and bullying.</span><br /><br /><span>“The NRL should put its massive weight behind some kind of campaign and movement that changes the conversation around this so we’re no longer looking at victims and saying, ‘Just block them, just get offline’,” Molan said.</span><br /><br /><span>“No! Go away, that’s not right.</span><br /><br /><span>“Let’s look at perpetrators. Let’s scare the ‘bleep’ out of perpetrators because they need to know there are consequences to their actions.</span><br /><br /><span>“So let’s make there be consequences to their actions and then let’s tell people about the consequences.”</span></p>

News

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Do you need a retirement coach?

<p><span>As the economy and lifestyles change, so too does the path of retirement. What worked for your parents’ generation may not work for you; you may want to navigate a new way. There are a number of different sources of help that you could turn to along your journey, so how do you know where to start? Here are the important questions to consider.</span></p> <p><strong><span>Do you need help with your budget?</span></strong></p> <p><span>If you have had clear, long-term goals for your money and you have stayed on track, then you might not need help with your <a href="https://retirementnow.com.au/money">retirement budget</a>. Otherwise, you may want to turn to a financial adviser or broker (rather than a retirement coach), bearing in mind that advisory fees typically apply.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.31416837782336px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7834899/retirement-now.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/4e5eee84b7a7418dac09b3fae6f47195" /></p> <p><strong><span>Do you know what you value?</span></strong></p> <p><span>Life after work can be disorienting. You may have spent a large portion of your life following career goals and not giving as much attention to other goals. If this is the case for you, when you stop working, you’ll need to re-envision your ideal day and revisit your other goals, which may lead to you reassessing what you value and which activities bring you a sense of meaning, satisfaction and affirmation in life. Things that dropped down in your priority list during your career--health, family, leisure, giving--can now rise to the fore. A retirement coach can help you with this process.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.31416837782336px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7834894/retirement-now-1.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/327db65cc84c4db8998ef1daa6523b1d" /></p> <p><strong><span>Do you have health concerns?</span></strong></p> <p><span>If you have significant health concerns it’s best to book an appointment with your GP and go for the necessary tests or get onto a treatment plan. If your health concern is simply to reprioritise taking care of your body then a retirement coach can guide you through the basics of healthy exercise, diet and sleep, and other lifestyle changes. </span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.31416837782336px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7834895/retirement-now-2.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/2368f909231e478b9f5bb81c94ad8ce2" /></p> <p><strong><span>Do you have support and accountability?</span></strong></p> <p><span>Whether you still have some time to plan your retirement, or the time has arrived sooner than you expected, or you are well into retirement and feeling bored or concerned, having somebody to talk to can help you feel less overwhelmed by the change. A retirement coach’s value is not only having somebody to talk to, but somebody who motivates you by keeping you accountable to your goals. A combination of support and accountability could be found in other places too though, like in a walking club, book club or other community club that you are a member of.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.31416837782336px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7834896/retirement-now-3.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/1a149dfbfbb14678a0da6198fe790214" /></p> <p><strong><span>Picking a retirement coach</span></strong></p> <p><span>If you decide that a retirement coach is what you need, take the time to pick the one who is right for you. You will need to do a little bit of research on that, but one word of advice right off the bat: Even if you don’t feel you need help with your budget but you answered ‘yes’ to either of the next two questions, it’s a good idea to go to a retirement coach who does have some financial background--if you don’t yourself. If you are on a health treatment plan from your GP you will be able to tell your retirement coach what capacity you have for various other health, family, leisure and giving activities. But if neither you nor your retirement coach has a financial background you may not accurately calculate how your new life and health goals will affect your budget in the long-term.</span></p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 281.31416837782336px;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7834897/retirement-now-4.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/027c239ab819408697d124970d1d87d6" /></p> <p><span>Sometimes just having somebody to talk to can be enough, whether it’s a family member, friend, or a like-minded individual or group in a similar stage of life. Other times it’s important to call in the professionals, whether financial or medical. The right retirement coach can be a solution that fits somewhere in between the other two and, even if your parents’ generation didn’t have retirement coaches, there’s no shame in navigating a new way in new times.</span></p> <p><em><span>This article has been made in partnership with Retirement Now.</span></em></p>

Retirement Income

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The slow coach

<p><em>Justine Tyerman can’t resist a hiking trip to Switzerland, so she develops a convenient case of myopia.</em></p> <p>Warning bells (the kind that hang around the necks of Swiss cows) began clanging inside my head when Birgit invited me on a hiking expedition in the Bernese Alps. Having met a few Swiss people and witnessed their superior hiking prowess, I should have known better than to believe that she was ‘unfit having not hiked for 14 years’. </p> <p>But yearning to revisit the alps and walk again amid majestic mountain kings, I conveniently snipped the donger out of the bell and lulled myself into believing I could ‘foot it’ with Swiss tour leader Birgit. After all, it was only three days and I would just be carrying a light day pack. Eurotrek was taking care of luggage transfers, transport and accommodation. All quite manageable, I decided in my blinkered, myopic state . . . so off I went to Switzerland. </p> <p>Our hiking group met up in Meiringen, a tranquil little resort town in the Hasli Valley known as ‘a nursery of first class alpine guides’. There’s an impressive bronze statue there depicting the ‘King of the Alpine Guides’ Melchior Anderegg with English mountaineer Sir Leslie Stephen. The jagged teeth of the Engelhörner Range, described as a climbers’ paradise, provide a stunning backdrop to the statue.</p> <p>Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a regular visitor to Meiringen. His famous fictional sleuth, Sherlock Holmes spent his last night at the hotel where we stayed – the Park Hotel du Sauvage - before his apparently fatal encounter in 1891 with arch foe Professor Moriarty at nearby Reichenbach Falls. Holmes’ fans refused to accept this death so Doyle was forced to resurrect him three years later.</p> <p>I visited Meiringen’s fascinating Sherlock Holmes museum which tells all about the life of the master detective and his sidekick Dr John Watson. You can travel by funicular to the Reichenbach Falls where Holmes and Moriarty struggled and supposedly fell to their deaths. The falls flow into the glacier-fed Aare River which has carved a deep gash into limestone rock over millions of years. A platform leads through the narrow gorge suspended from a perpendicular rock face just above the icy, green river.</p> <p>Over dinner that evening, we studied the detailed information and maps provided by Eurotrek. Day one of the Bear Trek from Meiringen to Grindelwald covered 22.9km, ascending 1530m and descending 1095m, a total hiking time of eight hours, 30 minutes - a formidable start to our expedition.</p> <p>Eurotrek included suggestions for shortening the hike by a couple of hours and shaving off a few hundred vertical metres by taking a Post Auto bus to the Hotel Rosenlaui.</p> <p>Birgit endorsed the idea and I wholeheartedly agreed, trying not to sound too enthusiastic.</p> <p>Disembarking at the graceful Hotel Rosenlaui overlooking the Aare River, we were confronted with spectacular peaks rising abruptly above a dark green tree-line splodged with fiery autumn foliage.</p> <p>We set off and all went well . . . for the first six minutes. And then the naturally-athletic Birgit hit her stride. Even 14 years in Australia could not dilute her Swissness. Mountains are to Swiss what rugby is to Kiwis. It’s part of their psyche, their DNA. They can no more walk slowly uphill than a Kiwi can cheer for the Aussies! </p> <p>The teller-of-tall-tales strode ahead at a steady pace, the same speed up as on the flat. </p> <p><strong>One foot after the other</strong></p> <p>Meanwhile, the slow coach brought up the rear, grateful for frequent photo stops which allowed me to catch my breath and catch up. I remembered the mantra of my hiking mate on our very first tramp many years ago. One foot after the other and you’ll get there . . . eventually. </p> <p>The beauty of the surroundings kept my spirits buoyed. The trail led us through forests of tall conifers, across lush green meadows sprinkled with wild flowers grazed by friendly, bell-wearing cows, and alongside meandering streams.</p> <p>We climbed to a beautiful alpine plateau where we walked in awed silence in the shadow of the magnificent, mystical Wetterhorn whose sheer grey rock face wept glacier tears.</p> <p>There were no other hikers on this relatively remote part of the Bear Trek . . . and the bears that once roamed these high alpine pathways had long since disappeared. The only sounds were the ding-dong of cow bells and the conversational gurgling of mountain streams.</p> <p>We came across barns and chalets with self-service fridges stocked with local cheeses. Some were beautifully decorated with flowers and pin-up photos of award-winning dairy cows whose rich milk made the products therein.</p> <p>Among Switzerland’s multifarious delights are her mountain restaurants found in the most unlikely places. The Berghotel, located at the summit of the Grosse Scheidegg Pass, 1962m, is one such establishment. The hotel served hearty fare for hungry hikers - barley soup with spicy sausages and crispy bread followed by mouth-watering desserts.</p> <p>On the long downward track to Grindelwald, the Eiger’s forbidding North Face loomed into view, along with the breath-taking Mönsch and Jungfrau.</p> <p>The lovely Hotel Kirchbühl, our resting place for the night, was a welcome sight at the end of a long day’s hiking. And a treat was in store for us on the terrace. Birgit introduced us to ‘Hugo’ which became our favourite cocktail on the trek – made with prosecco, elderflower syrup, mint and lime juice, it was seriously refreshing. There was magic in the air that evening as sunset cast surreal shafts of light on the mountains, and long shadows over the picturesque village of Grindelwald.</p> <p>Encircled by a necklace of mountains, Grindelwald emerged as a popular holiday resort in the late 18th century. The 3967m Eiger became a magnet for mountaineers, the first ascent taking place in 1858. However, the 1800m sheer rock and ice Nord Wand (North Face) was not conquered until 1938. The Eiger has since claimed 64 lives.</p> <p>In 1912, a railway reached the Jungfrau and today still holds the distinction of being Europe’s highest train station at 3454m. The Sphinx Terrace at the ‘Top of Europe’ sits at 3571m.</p> <p>With outstanding skiing and hiking trails, Grindelwald is a popular year-round destination. A few years ago, I hiked to Lake Bachalp. The lake’s stunning reflections of the mountains make it one of the region’s most exquisite walks.</p> <p>After a delicious dinner of local venison, fresh vegetables, salads and apple fritters, sleep came easily to the slow coach, thanks to a comfy bed, fluffy duvet and soft pillow. I was so thankful I’d survived day one . . . but day two looked even more daunting.</p> <p><em>To be continued...</em></p> <p><strong>Factbox:</strong></p> <ul> <li>The Bear Trek is part of the Via Alpina, a network of five international trails, covering 5000km through eight countries. Established in the year 2000, the Via Alpina has 342 stages on clearly-marked paths from zero to 3000m above sea level. In Switzerland, mountain restaurants and hotels provide meals and accommodation along the way. Eurotrek organised our accommodation and luggage transfers so we just carried a light day pack.</li> </ul> <p><em>Justine Tyerman was a guest of <a href="https://www.myswitzerland.com/en-nz/">Switzerland Tourism</a>, travelled courtesy of <a href="https://www.myswitzerland.com/en-nz/planning/transport-accommodation/tickets-public-transportation/">Swiss Travel Pass</a> and hiked in the <a href="https://jungfrauregion.swiss/en/winter/">Jungfrau Region</a> with <a href="https://www.eurotrek.ch/en">Eurotrek.</a></em></p>

International Travel

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“I didn’t feel I was worthy”: AFL coach Danny Frawley on his mental health struggle

<p>Ten months before his death, Danny Frawley opened up about his mental health struggles.</p> <p>On an episode of his <em>No Man Should Ever Walk Alone</em> podcast, the AFL star detailed his battle with depression to psychologist Peter Zarris.</p> <p>“Dramatic changes in mood and behaviour, that was me … isolation, I actually craved it when I was going through my worst,” he said.</p> <p>“Guys would text me, say they’d come around, because they knew I was battling a bit. I’d text them ‘come around’ and I’d actually pull the shutters down on the blinds … for some reason I didn’t feel I was worthy enough.”</p> <p>Frawley recalled how the people around him brushed off his coaching failures by citing his achievement as a player.</p> <p>“‘Danny, the coaching didn’t go that well but boy are you doing a great job in the media. You were a captain for nine years out at St Kilda that must have been absolutely outstanding’,” he quoted.</p> <p>“I can remember going to functions and not even having conversations with people – I don’t know whether I was just walking around like a peacock – but it was all about what people thought of me. But at the end of the day, it was what I thought about me.”</p> <p>The former St Kilda captain and Richmond coach said he coped with his mental health issues and lack of sleep by turning to alcohol and training.</p> <p>“That was what I was taught in the past, if you’ve got an issue work it off,” he said. “So I actually did 10 things at once.”</p> <p>He said at one point his wife Anita told him he was no longer the man she married, and insisted he should see a doctor.</p> <p>“A lot of comedians have depression – and that was me,” Frawley said.</p> <p>“Acting the goat in the media, my wife would say ‘gee, you’re so vivacious in front of a group, in front of the media and you come home Danny, and you’re a different bloke to the one I married’. I’m sure if I didn’t go through what I went through, my wife was going to leave me.”</p> <p>Frawley said while perception of mental illness had changed since he began playing football more than three decades ago, it still had a long way to go.</p> <p>“We’re still in this zone of we better hide in the corner, put our head in our hands and think ‘oh gee, I hope no one finds out I’ve got a mental health issue’. The glass ceiling has been cracked but we need to smash it open.”</p> <p>“The fact that it [suicide] is preventable is the most tragic thing,” Zarris responded. “I can’t emphasise enough, depression isn’t like having a permanent disability – you can move past it.”</p> <p>Frawley died on Monday at 56 in a car crash near Ballarat, Victoria. Calls for more resources and discussions around men’s mental health have been renewed as <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.theaustralian.com.au/sport/afl/i-didnt-feel-i-was-worthy-enough-danny-frawley-on-life-death/news-story/70982a3377bc18176b917cd9de3945a1?from=htc_rss" target="_blank">a coroner is investigating Frawley’s death</a>.</p>

Mind

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“Devastated”: AFL coach Danny Frawley’s family release statement about his death

<p>The devastated family of Danny Frawley have spoken out about his shock death yesterday after the tributes flowed in for the AFL legend.</p> <p>The 56-year-old St Kilda Hall of Famer died at the scene of a car crash near Ballarat in Victoria on Monday.</p> <p>He was the only person in the car when it crashed into a tree at around 1:30pm, in what Victorian Police have described as a “significant collision scene”.</p> <p>The world of AFL was left reeling from the passing of a legend of the game and yesterday, the family released their first statement.</p> <p>“On Monday Danny was taken tragically from us,” the statement read.</p> <p>“The Frawley family are devastated, but full of love and pride for a remarkable man who touched the lives of many.</p> <p>“To some he was known as an AFL footballer, coach and media figure, but to his wife Anita and their three daughters; Chelsea, Danielle and Keeley, Danny was a loving husband and a devoted dad. Danny adored his family.</p> <p>“The Frawley families are totally shocked and devastated by his passing, but Danny provided us with strength, good humour and unwavering support during his extraordinary life, memories which will be cherished and help us cope with his tragic death.”</p> <p>“We would like to sincerely thank everyone for the outpouring of love and kindness at this time. We are overwhelmed by the messages of support following his death. We are humbled, proud and incredibly touched,” the statement continues.</p> <p>“His legacy and love of his family will never be dimmed. Forever in our hearts.”</p> <p>Tributes have flowed for the Hall of Famer, with Fox Footy having dedicated their Monday night to remember the legacy that Danny has left behind.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"> <p dir="ltr">Tributes have flowed today for Danny Frawley after his tragic death yesterday. <br /><br />“People got to tell their Danny stories today. I was amazed how many people had a single, fleeting encounter with Danny, that was lasting.” - Gerard <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/AFL360?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#AFL360</a> <a href="https://t.co/J2Fnk4YWCt">pic.twitter.com/J2Fnk4YWCt</a></p> — FOX FOOTY (@FOXFOOTY) <a href="https://twitter.com/FOXFOOTY/status/1171362353293561858?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 10, 2019</a></blockquote> <p>AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan has detailed how the league plans to honour the memory of Danny, as two games will take place during the weekend with both games holding a moment of silence. All players, umpires and match officials will be wearing black armbands.</p> <p>“Danny was a friend to everyone in footy and his passion for the game, from the elite to the grassroots was unmatched,” he said to <em><a rel="noopener" href="https://www.news.com.au/sport/afl/petition-for-the-afl-to-honour-danny-frawley-with-award-keeps-growing/news-story/30d0c706d30a003246bc631677f87517" target="_blank">news.com.au</a>.</em></p> <p>“Whether you knew him as the St Kilda Captain, the Richmond Coach, or the loveable guy on the TV or radio who always made you smile, the acknowledgment this weekend is a way for everyone to pay tribute to the man we all knew and loved.”</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"> <p dir="ltr">Danny Frawley will be acknowledged with a moment of silence at this weekend’s Toyota <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/AFLFinals?src=hash&amp;ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#AFLFinals</a> Series matches. All playing clubs along with the umpires &amp; match officials will wear black armbands as a mark of respect to the former player, coach, administrator &amp; media personality. <a href="https://t.co/Yg9dSoKPKX">pic.twitter.com/Yg9dSoKPKX</a></p> — AFL (@AFL) <a href="https://twitter.com/AFL/status/1171312804348850176?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 10, 2019</a></blockquote> <p>A <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.change.org/p/afl-make-the-golden-fist-a-proper-afl-award-in-honour-of-danny-spud-frawley" target="_blank">change.org petition</a> has also been started, calling for an award to recognise the AFL’s best defender. The petition has 57,754 signatures at the time of writing.</p> <p>Danny was unofficially recognised with the “Golden Fist” segment on Fox Footy show “Bounce” since 2012, but petition starter Alex Baggio says this isn’t enough.</p> <p>“Danny ‘Spud’ Frawley was an AFL legend, and made the Golden Fist segment on Bounce something widely recognised across the AFL community,” petition starter Alex Baggio wrote.</p> <p>“In honour of his passing, the AFL should introduce the Danny Frawley Golden Fist award for the best defender on Brownlow night.”</p>

Caring

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Life in retirement: Why it’s never too late to start a business

<p><em><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://www.megangiles.com/" target="_blank">Megan Giles</a></span>, Retirement Transition Consultant, supports those approaching retirement to successfully transition and create a retirement they will love to live!</strong></em></p> <p>Think you’re too old to start a business? Think again. The 55+ age bracket is the fastest growing demographic for launching a new business and proves that age is no barrier to entrepreneurship. A recent US study found that almost 40% of Baby Boomer respondents indicated they were interested in starting a business or not-for-profit in retirement. And why not! Retirement provides a wonderful opportunity to pursue your passion on your own terms and earn an income in the process.</p> <p><em>As Jill says, “I love being over 60 and just figuring out my new career. So many wonderful things still to come”</em></p> <p>Why kick back in the recliner if you would rather be doing something else?</p> <p><strong>How a business can help realise your purpose in retirement</strong></p> <p>There are a number of motivators for starting a business after stepping away from one’s ‘real’ career. It might be that you developed a specific or highly desirable skill set during your career and don’t want your skills to lose currency.  It might be that you have a hobby and are excited to purpose it with passion, or that you are an empty nester with more time on your hands and want to do something meaningful with your days. Whatever your motivation, why not give it a go! Remember that there is nothing wrong with making money by serving and delivering great value to others.</p> <p><strong>The unique contribution that Baby Boomers have to offer</strong></p> <p>One of the most powerful points of difference that retirees have to offer is the ability to identify with, and respond to, the needs of a fast growing consumer demographic – the Baby Boomers themselves.</p> <p>According to the <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs%40.nsf/94713ad445ff1425ca25682000192af2/1647509ef7e25faaca2568a900154b63?OpenDocument" target="_blank">ABS</a></strong></span>, at least 15% of the Australia population in 2017 were 65 or older, which accounts for 3.4 million people! Baby Boomers constitute a significant part of the consumer market and are inclined to do business with other Baby Boomers because they ‘get’ them. They think to themselves ‘you’ve been where I’ve been and you understand what I need’.</p> <p><em>As Ange* reflects “I’m 67 and most of the women I work with are baby boomers too. One of the things I realised is that women of a certain age come from a place of wisdom. We’ve lived, we’ve learned, we synthesise so much…And we’re truly experts on what we do because we have that deeper knowledge that goes beyond textbook knowledge”</em></p> <p>Challenge the stereotypes that retirees are past it and out of touch. Your experience, networks and resilience are just three valuable qualities you will bring to the entrepreneurial world.</p> <p><strong>Setting off on the right foot - Key actions to take when starting a business in retirement</strong></p> <p><strong>1. Do market research.</strong> For the greatest chance of success it is important to ensure you are solving a problem in a marketplace. Who is your ideal client? Can you describe them – what they like doing, how they spend their time, and what is important to them. Do you know someone who fits this description? Chat to them and find out if what you want to offer will appeal to them? Test and refine. Find some more people to speak with. Test and refine again.</p> <p><strong>2. Stop and reflect.</strong> Take a moment to stop and reflect on your strengths, your proudest moments, the challenges you have overcome and what you are truly passionate about. This will provide a positive foundation to build your business on. Remember that you don’t need to compete with the 20-somethings in this digital age. Offerings do not have to be tech-based to succeed.</p> <p><strong>3. Plan.</strong> Identify the problem or opportunity and assess if you have the right skills to respond. If there are any gaps consider if you need to bring in some expertise, be that coaching, outsourcing or upskilling. Don’t be afraid to use your connections and embrace technology. Determine how much money you are willing to outlay, how many items/sessions you need to sell to break even (and better yet earn a profit) and then make that one of your goals.</p> <p><strong>4. Set ground rules.</strong> Make the distinction between work and personal time. Remember, retirement is about lifestyle – you don’t want your business to become all-consuming. Set these expectations early and hold yourself to account!</p> <p><strong>One bonus tip</strong> – it is not worth losing a friendship over a business. Before you launch a venture with a friend, ensure that your skills are complementary and create some ground rules about how the two of you are going to work together and speak up when things are not going as anticipated.</p> <p><em>After a long and successful career in recruitment, Lisa* established a personal image business. Through her career she frequently advised on creating a high impact first impression and recognised the importance of feeling good in one’s skin. She also had an amateur interest in styling with friends regularly asking ‘what should I wear to that important dinner’ or ‘what shoes go with this outfit’. Not surprisingly she created a business supporting women approaching retirement to transition from a corporate wardrobe to a more relaxed style. She appreciated that women (like herself) still want to look smart but reflect a new energy in retirement.</em></p> <p><em>Lisa has built her business via word-of-mouth, some networking and an online presence. She is conscious of the number of clients she takes on each week as she wants her business to be a joy, not a burden. To her, business is about pursuing something that lights her up (and being rewarded for it!).</em></p> <p>The Baby Boomers have always been the ones to break the rules and to challenge the social norms. Why should that be any difference in retirement? Why retire in the traditional sense of the word if you’re excited to be doing something else?</p>

Retirement Life

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New Aussie cricket coach announcement

<p><span>Justin Langer has been announced to replace Darren Lehmann as the Australian cricket team’s new head coach.</span></p> <p><span>Langer will head all three formats of the game with Australia delaying plans to have a specialist Twenty20 coach, reported News Corp.</span></p> <p><span>Langer has been appointed on a four-year deal after Lehmann resigned following the ball-tampering scandal in Cape Town, which saw three players suspended.</span></p> <p><span>Langer will start his role by leading the team on Australia’s one-day tour of England next month. He will also oversee two Ashes series, a World Cup and a World Twenty20 in 2020.</span></p> <p><span>There was speculation that Ricky Ponting would be chosen as coach for T20 cricket, but Langer will have full control.</span></p> <p><span>Langer had been a clear frontrunner to take the position as head coach after Lehmann’s departure, and had regularly filled in previously as a substitute on past tours.</span></p> <p><span>Chief executive James Sutherland said Langer was the right pick to lead the Australian team.</span></p> <p><span>“While Darren Lehmann was not due to complete his term until next year, we have had a succession plan in place for this role for some time,” said Sutherland.</span></p> <p><span>“… Justin was the clear standout, particularly based on his recent coaching and player development achievements.</span></p> <p><span>“We firmly believe Justin is the right person to lead this team and we have huge confidence in what he will bring to this role.</span></p> <p><span>“Justin’s work ethic, leadership and values are among his strongest attributes — and he is widely respected across the global cricket community.”</span></p> <p><span>The former Test star had a proud international career and dominated domestic cricket as a coach of Western Australia and the Perth Scorchers in recent years.</span></p> <p><span>“It is humbling to be appointed,” Langer said.</span></p> <p><span>“I would like to thank the Western Australian Cricket Association and the Perth Scorchers for their support over the past six seasons, and for giving me the opportunity to lead and work with two great teams and many exceptional people.</span></p> <p><span>“I’d like to especially thank my family for being with me on this journey and for supporting me in accepting this position.</span></p> <p><span>“I am very excited about the scope I now have to coach the country that supported me so much in my cricketing career.</span></p> <p><span>“There will be some significant challenges ahead for our group, but there is a wealth of talent in Australian cricket that I know will do us all proud.”</span></p>

News

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Former Swimming Australia coach arrested at Sydney Olympic pool

<p>A former Swimming Australia coach has been arrested after he refused to leave Sydney Olympic Park yesterday.</p> <p>Brian Sutton, 56, a former head coach of the men’s Australian swim team, attended the Australian Age National Championships on Wednesday.</p> <p>While at the junior national swim championships Mr Sutton allegedly tried to get onto the pool deck using someone else’s accreditation.</p> <p>It’s believed the former coach didn’t have the proper accreditation for Wednesday’s event.</p> <p>Security caught Mr Sutton and asked him to leave the venue just before 11.30am Wednesday.</p> <p>He refused and police were called to the venue.</p> <p>Mr Sutton allegedly became aggressive towards police, resisted arrest, and scuffled with police. He was eventually taken by officers to Auburn Police Station.</p> <p>After spending time in custody, he was later released and taken to Westmead Hospital by NSW Ambulance with a shoulder injury.</p> <p>A NSW Police spokesman did not say if charges will be laid over the alleged incident but said inquiries are continuing.</p> <p><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2F9NewsSydney%2Fvideos%2F662822187396814%2F&amp;show_text=1&amp;width=560" width="560" height="452" style="border: none; overflow: hidden;" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true" allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="true"></iframe></p> <p>Swimming Australia said Mr Sutton was banned from the junior championships for the rest of the week and it was considering further sanctions in the coming weeks.</p> <p>Mr Sutton was sacked as Swimming Australia’s head men’s coach in 2003 after he was suspended from the World Championships in Germany.</p> <p>The former coach arrived a day late after he delayed his flight to accompany former freestyler Elka Graham on the flight.</p> <p>“I was persecuted because I was doing the right thing by my swimmer [Elka Graham] — I had an obligation of duty of care,” he said at the time.</p> <p>Australian Swimming Inc stood Mr Sutton down from his role because of the rules breach.</p> <p>“When he did not join the team on Tuesday, Australian Swimming had to consider Brian’s position as a head coach and as a personal coach,” ASI chief executive officer Glenn Tasker said in July 2003.</p> <p>“We gave Brian the time he requested but expected him to join the team on Tuesday but he failed to make that commitment.</p> <p>“Subsequently Brian’s position on the 2003 World Championship team has been withdrawn,” he added.</p> <p>Mr Sutton retired from competitive coaching in 2004 and now works as a high performance consultant to a number of Australia’s top swimming organisation.</p>

News

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It's okay to slow down in retirement

<p><em><strong>Megan Giles is a retirement designer for women. She supports and coaches women approaching retirement to successfully transition and create a lifestyle that is fulfilling, meaningful to them and lights them up each day.</strong></em></p> <p>Retirement is all about slowing down and finally having time to do the things you have always wanted to do. You count down the days but when retirement actually arrives, the pace of life can be a bit of a shock, especially when you have come from a demanding job in which people depended on you to make decisions, achieve outcomes and to develop others. You thrive on pressure and deadlines and now you feel a little... lonely and lost. You don’t feel needed and the days seem never-ending.</p> <p>Before you panic and start looking for jobs, take a moment to reflect and recognise that a less full schedule does not make you any less worthy as a person. Acknowledge it for what it is – a well-deserved opportunity for you to enjoy the things you truly take pleasure in.</p> <p>Celebrate the fact that you have time to do the things you want to do properly. When you were working your mornings probably meant that you wore whatever was clean and ironed, drank your coffee as you commuted, paid your bills and organised birthday presents during your lunch break, and if you were lucky squeezed in a gym visit on the way home. One of the lovely things about retirement is that it allows you to truly live in the moment rather than rush from ‘A’ to ‘B’.</p> <p>Make a ritual of your daily activities. You might like to create a wake-up routine which involves a leisurely cup of coffee and a proper read of the newspaper (not just the headlines!) or you may like to walk rather than drive to coffee,  chatting to neighbours and admiring the greenery around you as you go. You have the time. Stop, smell the roses and enjoy the simpler things!</p> <p>That said, if you are starting to climb the walls at home, the following suggestions will get you on your way to a retirement you love to live!</p> <ol> <li><strong>Plan one activity for each day</strong>. As a starting point even if it is just to do the grocery shopping, it will provide some purpose to your day and will ensure that you interact with at least one other person. You never know who you may bump into when you are out and about</li> <li><strong>Try five new things.</strong> Make a list of five new activities you would like to try and schedule them over the next two months. It might be cycling, singing, learning a language, gardening or volunteering. Avoid recreating the busyness of your former work life by cramming everything into just one week and allow yourself things to look forward to over the coming weeks. Not only do new activities provide structure to your days but they keep the brain active– something that is so important as we age. Don’t want to go solo? Invite a friend along!</li> <li><strong>Take the lead!</strong> If you can’t find an activity or group within your local community that tickles your fancy consider starting your own group, be it a book club with friends, a walking group with your neighbours, or a regular ukulele jam session with other musicians.</li> <li><strong>Give yourself permission to have a lay-about day</strong>. Isn’t this the thing you often yearned for as you commuted to work? This is not going to be an everyday occurrence and having one lay-about day is not going to make you sloth-like. Declare your intention out aloud and schedule it into your diary, i.e. make it a proper activity with a specific date and dedicated time. If you feel as though you need more structure for your lay-about day, create an outcome and decide what book you are going to read or movie you are going to watch.</li> <li><strong>Create a ‘to do when I retire list’.</strong> In planning for a holiday we always think “we need to go there” and “we should see that” but when the first day of our holiday arrives, we draw a blank…What were all of those things we were going to enjoy? In the busyness of life they’ve slipped our mind. Don’t let this happen to your retirement. A useful tool to capture those ideas and inspiration as they come to you, or as suggested by others, is the <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://eepurl.com/cFiKDz" target="_blank">My Retirement Planner</a></strong></span>. A ready-made list of ideas will help to ensure that you are not at a loss on those quiet days.</li> </ol> <p><em>For more great retirement advice please visit Megan Giles’ <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.megangiles.com/" target="_blank">website</a></strong></span>.<br /></em></p>

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