Placeholder Content Image

"No empathy": Grandmother kicked off flight over unpaid fee

<p>An outraged father has unleashed over Jetstar's decision to remove his mother-in-law and children from a flight over an unpaid fee. </p> <p>Father of three Jay Tee took to social media to slam the airline over their treatment of his family on their flight from the Gold Coast to Melbourne. </p> <p>Tee's kids were being accompanied on the flight by their grandmother, who was informed she needed to pay a $35 fee to check in a bag. </p> <p>The woman forgot to pay the fee before boarding, on what was her second time ever on a plane. </p> <p>Tee was then contacted by the airline after his family had boarded and was told they would not be allowed to travel if the charge wasn’t paid for within 10 minutes. </p> <p>“They informed me I had 10 minutes to pay $35 or else they would be removed from the flight extra fees would accur (sic) for holding up the flight,” he said.</p> <p>“I hung up transferred funds and rang back within four minutes. Jetstar did not take payment and had removed my mother-in-law from the flight altogether leaving her and 3 kids stranded at Gold Coast airport no water no food.”</p> <p>The father slammed the airline for “disgusting service” that was “the worst I have ever been treated” by a company.</p> <p>“My anger is not with the payment for luggage, it is how my mother-in-law and three kids under 10 were treated.”</p> <p>The airline confirmed the family were removed from the flight, with a spokesperson saying the airline was trying to contact Mr Tee for more information.</p> <p>“We’re really sorry to hear about the customers’ experience and are reaching out to get a better understanding about what happened,” the spokesperson said.</p> <p>The airline went on to say they had no record of any payment being made, while also clarifying they asked the elderly woman to move to the service desk multiple times to pay the fee, but she didn't.</p> <p>Mr Tee says he was then forced to pay another $600 to book the group on the next flight to Melbourne with discount airline Bonza.</p> <p>The situation stirred up debate on social media, with some blaming the woman for the mishap.</p> <p>“I don’t understand how this is anybody but the mother in laws fault, She would have checked bags in then should have walked over and paid for the excess, not boarded the plane,” one person wrote.</p> <p>But others defended her, and the fact the charge was paid by Mr Tee.</p> <p>“Would have thought Jetstar could have helped in some way, but that sums up Jetstar’s customer service for you. No empathy what so ever.”</p> <p><em>Image credits: Facebook / Getty Images </em></p> <p> </p>

Travel Trouble

Placeholder Content Image

The surprising trait people who listen to sad music share

<p>Sad songs say so much, according to Elton John. And according to David Huron, an expert in music cognition, a predilection for them says a lot about the listener.</p> <p>Professor Huron, a visiting academic at the University of NSW, has explored why some people like sad-sounding music. </p> <p>Those who most enjoyed it scored high on empathy in personality tests.</p> <p>They also tended to score high on agreeableness and openness, his research at the Ohio State University found. About 50 per cent of people like listening to sad music, with 10 per cent saying it is the music they most enjoy.</p> <p>Professor Huron said the acoustical qualities of sad music closely reflect what makes a human voice sound sad, and some people “respond to a ‘sad’ song as though they were in the presence of a sad person – they feel a sense of compassion”.</p> <p>“As it turns out, compassion is a positive emotion,” he said. “People who are not so empathetic simply hear the music as sad, and feel sad themselves.”</p> <p>David Robertson, the chief conductor and artistic director of the Sydney Symphony Orchestra, said music affects people in different ways “because each person brings with them a wealth of background when they’re listening to any piece of music”.</p> <p>“A concert is one of those moments when you go in and you are moved uniquely,” he said. “It’s interesting to look back at an audience after you’ve finished a performance and see the different expressions on their faces because they can range, [after] the same piece, anywhere from a sense of awe and glory ... to a sense of utter and complete intimacy and closing off of the rest of the world.”</p> <p>The SSO has been rehearsing Beethoven’s <em>Missa Solemnis</em>, or solemn mass, for performances starting on Wednesday in the concert hall at the Sydney Opera House. The composer described it as his “greatest work”.</p> <p>Robertson said the piece “is so incredibly rich that you can come back to it time and time again and you find different things in it, which I think is an indication that these emotional triggers – whatever they may be – are different for us at different times of the day and different periods of our life”.</p> <p>Associate Professor Emery Schubert, who researches emotion and music at the University of NSW, said music can influence the way we feel intrinsically as well as through associations, “such as watching movies where the love scene has slow, gentle music playing, or a chase scene with fast, pulsating music”.</p> <p>“Importantly we may not be conscious of the rich history of connections we make over our lifetime between music and emotions,” he said.</p> <p>“But being aware of how the music affects us can make us experts at manipulating our own moods through music.”</p> <p><em>Image: Shutterstock</em></p>

Music

Placeholder Content Image

"We have enough problems": Barnaby Joyce slammed for lack of empathy

<p>Social media users have called for Barnaby Joyce to take an empathy course after he compared the Israel-Palestine conflict to "someone else's turd" that he does not want to see "in my toilet".</p> <p>The Nationals MP, who was particularly combative on Thursday's episode of Q&amp;A, answered a question from the audience asking where the Federal Government stands on the conflict - which, since May 10, has claimed over 200 Palestinian lives and at least 10 in Israel.</p> <p>“I don’t want their problems in our (country) — whether it is Catholic-Protestants, a Yugoslav issue or Sudan issue that’s on the other side of the world. We have enough problems closer to home,” Mr Joyce responded.</p> <p>“We have problems in West Papua and Bougainville (Island). I don’t think anything is worth a drop of human blood. When people fire the first shot, they lose the argument.</p> <p>“And what do we say? If I get engrossed in Palestinian-Israeli politics, and I take my mind off here profanely, but you say things with resonance to remember them. I don’t care. I don’t want to see someone else’s turd in my toilet. And if you come to our country, flush it.”</p> <p>Diplomatic efforts gathered pace Thursday for a ceasefire on the 11th day of deadly violence between Israel and armed Palestinian groups in Gaza, as airstrikes again hammered the enclave.</p> <p>The Israeli security cabinet was set to meet to discuss a possible ceasefire with the Hamas Islamist movement ruling the besieged and crowded coastal strip, official sources told AFP.</p> <p>“Isn’t that a bit disrespectful?” host Hamish Macdonald asked Mr Joyce.</p> <p>“There are people dying in Gaza, in Israel, right now. You’re a serving member of our parliament.”</p> <p>To which Mr Joyce responded: “What do I do? What exactly do I do? Do we go over there and say to Benjamin Netanyahu, ‘Stop’.<span> </span><em>Everybody<span> </span></em>is saying that. Do we go to Hamas and try to explain to people that they’ve got to stop sending missiles randomly into people’s neighbourhoods to kill them? What is exactly my role?”</p> <p>The 54-year-old said that neither Benjamin Netanyahu — the Prime Minister of Israel — or Hamas “give a flying toss about what Australia thinks”</p> <p>“Our role in this is to say the bleeding obvious. I don’t think that one person is endorsing — not one drop of blood, not one person should be killed. Everybody is saying that,” Mr Joyce added.</p> <p>“The trouble is, Hamish, they just don’t listen. This is a conflict that’s been going for as long as you and I, probably back 1000 years, probably past. It has to be that they have the epiphany that they have to stop killing each other … The only thing I can do as a member of parliament is to say, ‘Your problem. You should fix it up. You shouldn’t kill anybody. But don’t ever make it our problem’.”</p> <p>United Nations chief Antonio Guterres told the UN General Assembly Thursday that “the fighting must stop immediately”, calling the continued crossfire between Israeli forces and Palestinian groups “unacceptable”.</p> <p>“If there is a hell on earth, it is the lives of children in Gaza,” Guterres added.</p> <p>Joyce was immediately criticised on social media for his straightforward response, with those on Twitter saying he needed to take a Federal Government empathy course and was "washing his hands of international disputes".</p> <p>“MP Barnaby Joyce’s main concern about the Palestinian-Israeli conflict is its intrusion into Australian life, he said on #QandA tonight,” one user wrote, with another adding after seeing the response they “couldn’t switch (the show) off fast enough”.</p>

News

Placeholder Content Image

Empathy starts early: 5 Australian picture books that celebrate diversity

<p>Early exposure to diverse story characters, including in ethnicity, gender and ability, helps young people develop a strong sense of identity and belonging. It is also crucial in cultivating compassion towards others.</p> <p>Children from minority backgrounds rarely see themselves reflected in the books they’re exposed to. Research over the past two decades shows the world presented in children’s books is overwhelmingly white, male and middle class.</p> <p>A 2020 study in four Western Australian childcare centres showed only 18% of books available included non-white characters. Animal characters made up around half the books available and largely led “human” lives, adhering to the values of middle-class Caucasians.</p> <p>In our recent research of award-winning and shortlisted picture books, we looked at diversity in representations of Indigenous Australians, linguistically and culturally diverse characters, characters from regional or rural Australia, gender, sex and sexually diverse characters, and characters with a disability.</p> <p>From these, we have compiled a list of recommended picture books that depict each of these five aspects of diversity.</p> <p>Aboriginal Torres Strait Islander characters<br />Tom Tom, by Rosemary Sullivan and Dee Huxley (2010), depicts the daily life of a young Aboriginal boy Tom (Tommy) in a fictional Aboriginal community — Lemonade Springs. The community’s landscape, in many ways, resembles the Top End of Australia.</p> <p>Tom’s 22 cousins and other relatives call him Tom Tom. His day starts with a swim with cousins in the waters of Lemonade Springs, which is covered with budding and blossoming water lilies. The children swing on paperbark branches and splash into the water. Tom Tom walks to Granny Annie’s for lunch and spends the night at Granny May’s. At preschool, he enjoys painting.</p> <p>Through this picture book, non-Indigenous readers will have a glimpse of the intimate relationship between people and nature and how, in Lemonade Springs, a whole village comes together to raise a child.</p> <p>Characters from other cultures<br />That’s not a daffodil! by Elizabeth Honey (2012) is a story about a young boy’s (Tom) relationship with his neighbour, Mr Yilmaz, who comes from Turkey. Together, Tom and Mr Yilmaz plant, nurture and watch a seed grow into a beautiful daffodil.</p> <p>The author uses the last page of the book to explain that, in Turkish, Mr Yilmaz’s name does not have a dotted “i”, as in the English alphabet, and his name should be pronounced “Yuhlmuz”.</p> <p>While non-white characters, Mr Yilmaz and his grandchildren, only play supporting roles in the story, the book nevertheless captures the reality of our everyday encounters with neighbours from diverse ethnic backgrounds.</p> <p>Characters from rural Australia<br />All I Want for Christmas is Rain, by Cori Brooke and Megan Forward (2017), depicts scenery and characters from regional or rural Australia. The story centres on the little girl Jane’s experience of severe drought on the farm.</p> <p>The story can encourage students’ discussion of sustainability.</p> <p>In terms of diversity, it is equally important to meet children living in remote and regional areas as it is to see children’s lives in the city.</p> <p>Gender non-conforming characters<br />Granny Grommet and Me, by Dianne Wolfer and Karen Blair (2014), is full of beautiful illustrations of the Australian beach and surfing grannies.</p> <p>Told from the first-person point of view, it documents the narrator’s experiences of going snorkelling, surfing and rockpool swimming with granny and her grommet (amateur surfer) friends.</p> <p>In an age of parents’ increasing concern about gender stereotyping (blue for boy, pink for girl) of story characters in popular culture, Granny Grommet and Me’s representation of its main character “Me” is uniquely free from such bias.</p> <p>The main character wears a black wetsuit and a white sunhat and is not named in the book (a potential means of assigning gender).</p> <p>This gender-neutral representation of the character does not reduce the pleasure of reading this book. And it shows we can minimise attributes that symbolise stereotypes such as clothing, other accessories and naming.</p> <p>Characters living with a disability<br />Boy, by Phil Cummings and Shane Devries (2018), is a story about a boy who is Deaf.</p> <p>He uses sign language to communicate but people who live in the same village rarely understand him. That is, until he steps into the middle of a war between the king and the dragon that frightens the villagers.</p> <p>He resolves the conflict using his unique communication style and the villagers resolve to learn to communicate better with him by learning his language.</p> <p><em>Written by Ping Tian and Helen Caple. This article first appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/empathy-starts-early-5-australian-picture-books-that-celebrate-diversity-153629">The Conversation</a>.</em></p>

Books

Placeholder Content Image

“Absence of empathy”: Donald and Melania Trump under fire over photo with El Paso shooting victim

<p>A backlash is building over Donald and Melania Trump after the US first lady posted a photo on Twitter showing the couple smiling broadly while holding a two-month-old baby whose parents were killed in the El Paso mass shooting.</p> <p>On a visit to the Texan city last week, the president could be seen flashing a thumbs-up when posing with the infant as well as hospital staff and first responders.</p> <p>The child, named Paul, lost his parents Jordan and Andre Anchondo after they attempted to shield him from the bullets in the August 3 shooting. The boy was discharged from University Medical Center, but reportedly brought back at the request of White House for Trump’s visit.</p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"> <p dir="ltr">I met many incredible people in Dayton, Ohio &amp; El Paso, Texas yesterday. Their communities are strong and unbreakable. <a href="https://twitter.com/POTUS?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@potus</a> and I stand with you! <a href="https://t.co/SHzV6zcVKR">pic.twitter.com/SHzV6zcVKR</a></p> — Melania Trump (@FLOTUS) <a href="https://twitter.com/FLOTUS/status/1159511786695069697?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 8, 2019</a></blockquote> <p>The pictures have been widely slammed, with many people describing the Trumps’ gesture as insensitive. “Your husband is grinning like a game show contestant and giving a ‘thumbs up’ next to a baby orphaned during another mass murder,” one wrote in response to the first lady’s post. “If you had normal human empathy you’d realize how horribly odd this is.”</p> <p><img style="width: 500px; height: 374.867px; display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" src="https://oversixtydev.blob.core.windows.net/media/7829452/trumpselpaso.jpg" alt="" data-udi="umb://media/283bb8aeae9d445fa7a6841180934a99" /></p> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" data-lang="en"> <p dir="ltr">Your husband is grinning like a game show contestant and giving a "thumbs up" next to a baby orphaned during another mass murder.<br /><br />If you had normal human empathy you'd realize how horribly odd this is.<br /><br />Then again, if you did you wouldn't be married to him.</p> — John Pavlovitz (@johnpavlovitz) <a href="https://twitter.com/johnpavlovitz/status/1159846976399298561?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2019</a></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-conversation="none" data-lang="en"> <p dir="ltr">I can’t look at this. I am just stunned &amp; horrified. How did this happen? Who thought releasing a photo of these monsters holding a newly orphaned infant, whose parents were killed thanks to their racist vitriol, with a grin &amp; thumbs up was somehow acceptable? They are heartless.</p> — Amie Wexler (@am_wex) <a href="https://twitter.com/am_wex/status/1159718367516712961?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2019</a></blockquote> <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"> <p dir="ltr">THE THUMBS UP. I’m nauseous. Bringing an orphaned baby back for a photo op. It’s all horrible. <a href="https://t.co/0Ls8jaRREt">https://t.co/0Ls8jaRREt</a></p> — Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) <a href="https://twitter.com/DanaSchwartzzz/status/1159883673102979072?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">August 9, 2019</a></blockquote> <p>A hospital official told<span> </span><a rel="noopener" href="https://edition.cnn.com/2019/08/08/politics/trump-el-paso-victims-hospital-visit/index.html" target="_blank"><em>CNN</em></a><span> </span>there was a general assessment among patients that the president acted with “an absence of empathy” during the visit. “Some people didn’t want any visitors. Some didn’t want to meet [Trump],” the official said.</p> <p>The president did not meet with any of the eight survivors still receiving treatment in the hospital. Five declined to see Trump, while three were in poor condition or do not speak English.</p> <p>According to the <a rel="noopener" href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/aug/09/trump-el-paso-melania-orphan-baby-thumbs-up" target="_blank"><em>Guardian</em></a>, doctors at the Del Sol medical center also said Trump appeared to “lack empathy” after he boasted about drawing a larger crowd at a January rally in the city than “crazy” 2020 Democratic presidential contender Beto O’Rourke.</p> <p>Tito Anchondo, the uncle of the baby, told The Associated Press on Friday that Trump “was just there to give his condolences and he was just being a human being”. He told the <em><a href="https://www.elpasotimes.com/story/news/2019/08/06/el-paso-texas-family-grieves-parents-who-died-protecting-newborn-son-walmart-attack/1937865001/">El Paso Times</a> </em>that his late brother supported Trump.</p> <p>He said, “We should be coming together as a country at this time instead of threatening each other with hate messages.”</p>

News

Placeholder Content Image

Are doctors and nurses losing empathy for patients?

<p><em><strong>Sue Dean is a lecturer in the Faculty of Health at University of Technology, Sydney. Sue is a social worker and a registered nurse with clinical experience in hospital-based, community-based and primary health care services, particularly in the area of mental health.</strong></em></p> <p>Every day, doctors, nurses and other health professionals are presented with situations that demand empathy and compassion.</p> <p>Whether telling a 40-year-old man with cancer he doesn’t have long to live, or comforting an elderly woman who is feeling anxious, the health professional needs to be skilled in understanding what the other person is going through, and respond appropriately.</p> <p>With more demand on doctors and nurses and a push for quicker consultations, clinical empathy is being dwarfed by the need for efficiency. But this doesn’t mean patients have stopped wanting to be treated in a caring and empathetic manner. And there is a growing body of evidence that this need is often not being met.</p> <p><strong>Empathy is key to good communication</strong></p> <p>In the novel To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus Finch tells his daughter Scout that “you never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb into his skin and walk around in it”.</p> <p>This is empathy – where one identifies with another’s feelings. It involves compassion and the ability to understand and respond to the feelings of others. Often, an empathetic response leads to a caring response.</p> <p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9VW7wGO4vY">Empathy is different to sympathy</a></strong></span> which is described as feeling sorry for another person. This does not require us to understand the other person’s point of view, but is an automatic, emotional response. In health care, feeling sympathy for another person can overwhelm us with sorrow and often preclude us from helping.</p> <p>In recent times, poor communication, including lack of empathetic and caring behaviours, has resulted in an increasing number of <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.hccc.nsw.gov.au/ArticleDocuments/75/HCCC_Annual%20Report_2014-15.pdf.aspx">complaints</a></strong></span> against health professionals in Australia.</p> <p>Shocking cases of maltreatment at a <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://webarchive.nationalarchives.gov.uk/20150407084003/http:/www.midstaffspublicinquiry.com/">United Kingdom public hospital</a></strong></span> between 2005 and 2009 reveal the extreme consequences of negligence, poor communication and lack of empathy in health care. Incidents ranged from patients being forced to drink from flower vases to lying in their own excrement. More than 300 deaths were directly linked to this neglect.</p> <p>At the crux of the recommendations made in a report of the inquiry into the incidents was the need for improved communication between health care workers and patients.</p> <p>Empathy is fundamental to effective communication. For doctors and nurses, this means placing the patient at the centre of care. This skill leads to increased levels of satisfaction not only in patients but also the doctors and nurses. Importantly, it is <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.sciedu.ca/journal/index.php/jnep/article/view/9328">also associated with</a></strong></span> improved patient outcomes.</p> <p><strong>Why are nurses and doctors losing empathy?</strong></p> <p>Technology has greatly contributed to health professionals’ diminishing levels of empathy.</p> <p>It has come at the cost of changing the way doctors and nurses interact with their patients. Because there are fewer opportunities for direct patient contact, it hinders the ability to develop a rapport with patients, monitor their non-verbal communication and elicit feedback on the interaction.</p> <p>For instance, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jocn.13470/full">touch has historically been</a></strong></span> a large part of the work of a nurse. When nurses hold a patient’s hand or arm to take their pulse, for instance, it contributes to the kind of connection that <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://search.proquest.com/openview/654ac7021e23cc992d51e12362cab92c/1?pq-origsite=gscholar">has been shown to release</a></strong></span> the feel-good hormone oxytocin.</p> <p>Taking a patient’s pulse manually, for example, is now often replaced by a probe attached to a patient’s finger.</p> <p>Computers on wheels create a physical barrier for nurses when they use them to administer medications and access documents; and smart phones that support patient interviews have replaced the opportunity for a nurse to physically be present and develop a rapport with a patient.</p> <p>Meanwhile, virtual reality games and experiences are often used to distract patients undergoing painful procedures, when in the past a nurse may have held the patient’s hand.</p> <p>Learning often takes place using simulation technology, where students interact not with actual human beings but with computerised mannequins.</p> <p>It is understandably difficult to respond to a mannequin as a patient with emotional needs. Students subsequently find it difficult, in a real clinical setting, to <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1765783/">integrate desired communication skills</a></strong></span> – in particular, <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10376178.2016.1163231">empathy.</a></strong></span></p> <p>University programs are often content-heavy, with graduates required to meet many competencies before they can be registered with professional bodies.</p> <p>The result can sometimes be that students in health professional courses tend to <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jan.12891/abstract">focus on clinical and technical skills</a></strong></span> at the expense of good communication.</p> <p>The disruptiveness of technology may also be a factor affecting the ability of nurses and doctors to be empathetic and compassionate. Technology encourages multitasking, which is good for efficiency, but can distract health care professionals from important interpersonal interaction with patients.</p> <p>Funding constraints in the university sector, decreasing clinical placement opportunities, the increasing complexity of patients, and a heightened awareness of ensuring patient safety and the associated legal responsibilities, all contribute to the increasing use of the controlled learning environment laboratories offer.</p> <p>Learning in laboratories using technology is being developed to maximise experiences that develop empathy. Good communication needs to be role-modelled, taught and assessed in university programs and throughout clinical practice.</p> <p>We need a better understanding of empathy development in health professions and more research on how to improve the situation with changing technologies. Most importantly, though, we need always to listen to our patients.</p> <p><em>Written by Sue Dean. First appeared on <a href="https://theconversation.com/"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">The Conversation</span></strong></a>. </em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/body/2017/02/the-science-behind-brain-freezes/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>The science behind brain freezes</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/body/2017/01/natural-ways-to-manage-heart-disease/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>5 natural ways to manage heart disease</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="http://www.oversixty.co.nz/health/body/2017/01/how-to-figure-out-if-youre-drinking-enough-water/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>The new way to figure out if you’re drinking enough water</strong></em></span></a></p>

Body

Placeholder Content Image

Top traits of empathic people

<p>An empath is a highly sensitive person who takes on other people’s emotions. They can have strong emotions and feelings in stressful situations, and may even experience depression or panic attacks. They may find themselves succumbing to binges (food, sex, alcohol), or experiencing chronic fatigue.</p> <p>Being an empath doesn’t have to mean that you live your life feeling completely overwhelmed. There are ways that empaths can learn to acknowledge their feelings in order to become emotionally free.</p> <p>See if you identify with some of these traits.</p> <p><strong>High sensitivity</strong></p> <p>They are good listeners who are open to the feelings of others. They will nurture, guide and advise people going through a hard time. However, this can cause them to feel too much, and they might even be labelled as someone who is too sensitive.</p> <p><strong>In tune with other’s emotions</strong></p> <p>Empaths tend to absorb other people’s emotions, whether they are good or bad. They need to be in a calm and relaxed environment to avoid feeling permanently stressed and anxious. </p> <p><strong>Introverts</strong></p> <p>Don’t put an empath in a large group of people if you want them to feel relaxed. They do prefer smaller groups, ideally one on one so that they can focus. If they do have to attend a large function or event they may decide to limit their time there in order to keep their emotions in check.</p> <p><strong>Need their own space</strong></p> <p>In order to recharge, empaths need to spend time on their own regularly. Being around people constantly is physically and emotionally draining for them. They dislike things like group travel where they aren’t able to get up and go as they like.</p> <p><strong>Can struggle with intimacy</strong></p> <p>Many empaths can find intimate relationships difficult to sustain, as they can get overwhelmed with the emotion involved. They may need to discuss ideas for their own relationship where they change the traditional roles in order to make them more comfortable.</p> <p><strong>Nature sustains them</strong></p> <p>Being within a natural environment can help an empath to recharge.</p> <p>Things like the roaring ocean, or a quiet field, can give them time to reflect and lower the amount of emotion that they take on.</p> <p>If you are an empath you can seek to keep your sensitivity under control by taking charge of how you spend your time (and who with), meditating, and spending time outdoors in nature. Remember to speak to other people about how you feel so that you can protect yourself from unnecessary stress and anxiety.</p> <p>Are you an empath? How do you cope with the stresses of everyday living? We would love to hear from you in the comments.</p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/07/how-to-stop-dwelling-on-negative/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>Why we dwell on the negative and how to stop</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/07/secret-to-quieting-a-frazzled-mind/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>The secret to quieting a frazzled mind</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/07/benefits-of-believing-in-yourself/"><strong><em><span style="text-decoration: underline;">5 wonderful things that happen when you start to believe in yourself</span></em></strong></a></p>

Mind

Placeholder Content Image

Is empathy making the world a worse place?

<p>Empathy is supposed to be a moral good, a natural reaction to the suffering of others. But apparently if you really want to be good and do good, empathy is not the answer.</p> <p>"Empathy is fundamentally, from a moral standpoint, a bad thing," Yale University psychologist Paul Bloom says.</p> <p>"It's because of empathy that the world cares so much more about a baby stuck in a well than we do about global warming," Bloom told the Atlantic.</p> <p>Empathy is biased towards the individual - towards those who look like us, share the same beliefs, and have similar backgrounds, he said. That can blind us to the long term consequences of our compassionate actions.</p> <p>Going to war, vaccinating children, and responding to climate change would be better served without empathy, according to Bloom.</p> <p>For example, the common argument for going to war is to stop the suffering of others, without full consideration given to the number of other victims that war would create.</p> <p>"But our empathy, our selfish moralising zooms us in and says 'oh my God there are these people suffering, let's bomb the crap out of them. Let's destroy the whole country to save these people'," Bloom said.</p> <p>Esteemed Australian moral philosopher Professor Peter Singer agrees with Bloom,"You need the head as well as the heart".</p> <p>In his book The Most Good You Can Do, Singer cites a study where one group were shown a photo of one child, with her name and age, and were asked to donate money for a $300,000 drug treatment to save her life. A second group were shown photos, with names and ages, of eight children, and were asked to donate money for a $300,000 drug treatment to save all their lives.</p> <p>More money was donated to the single child than to the eight sick children. That was held up as an example of empathy being biased towards the individual, not the masses.</p> <p>Singer said support for empathy has created a wave of "warm-glow altruists" who will give a little to a lot of causes because it makes them feel a "warm-glow" feeling every time they think they are helping a cause.</p> <p>"They give them $10 and once the charity processes $10 and gives a thank you letter and so on, there's not much money left," Singer said.</p> <p>Singer said giving to beggars on the street is a common way people will serve their need for a "warm-glow".</p> <p>"Generally I think that it's not a good idea to hand out money to people in the street.</p> <p>"You don't know what they're going to do with it. Are they genuine? If lots of people give out money people will fake it to get money that way.</p> <p>"We need a larger solution," Singer said.</p> <p>But Dr Frans de Waal, psychology professor at Atlanta's Emory University, disagrees, saying Singer and Bloom are trying to "remove morality from biology".</p> <p>"How can one be against empathy? I know Paul Bloom has been making this argument that empathy is a poor guide for moral decisions, but ... without empathy why would we even care about others and take decisions that take their interests into account?</p> <p>"Bloom is part of a movement ... of driving a wedge between morality and biology.</p> <p>"All that matters is a sense of duty. But humans can rationally justify almost anything, sometimes the most gruesome behaviour, and our only hope in this world is the natural ties that bind us together with each other and to the environment. Trying to depict those ties as problematic is like throwing the baby out with the bathwater," he said.</p> <p>Contentious words, but do you agree with them? Do you think that empathy is by and large making the world a worse place to live in?</p> <p>Please let us know in the comments below.</p> <p><em>Written by Rachel Clayton. First appeared on <a href="http://Stuff.co.nz" target="_blank"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Stuff.co.nz.</span></strong></a></em></p> <p><strong>Related links:</strong></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/05/happiness-can-help-you-live-longer/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><em>Happiness can help you live longer</em></strong></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/05/knowing-who-you-are-is-key-to-overcoming-challenges/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>The secret to overcoming life’s challenges</strong></em></span></a></p> <p><a href="/health/mind/2016/05/how-being-vulnerable-can-change-your-life/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><em><strong>How being vulnerable can change your life</strong></em></span></a></p>

Mind

Our Partners