“What I wish I’d known before getting a divorce”
Divorces can get really messy if you let them. But the tips below from the real-life men and women who have been through it may help make this huge life change as smooth a process as possible.
- Treat it like a business deal
“Remember, your lawyer is not your friend; he is your legal counsel. Period.”
- Try to have a good relationship with your ex
“Keeping the children out of the parents’ relationship is an effort that needs to be both parents’ priority. This is something that should be addressed before the children are told about the change that’s about to happen in their lives.”
- Your actions will impact your children
“Life was, and sometimes is still, hard but we have all grown through the pain.”
- Don’t be afraid to do it
“I was fearful of leaving because my ex threatened that if I did I would lose my daughter.
“Knowing now what I know about child custody, that would not have happened. My daughter deserved a better, calmer and less chaotic home.”
- There will still be co-parenting differences
“We fought about everything from respecting the privacy of the master bedroom to being accountable for chores.”
And those arguments don’t stop just because you’re now divorced.
- Keep financial records
- Listen to your instincts
But whatever the reason, listen to your instincts, she says.
“Make plans to work and support yourself and your kids. Be self-sufficient, but get family and local support too if you can.
“Work hard and your kids will love and respect you, even if you are a single parent.”
- There’s love after divorce
“Women especially are told that once we become a certain age, we are no longer ‘marriage material’, whatever that is.
“Don’t buy into that. If what you want is marriage again, then you will find it!”
Join our community of over 400,000-plus members today and get the latest Over60 news, offers and articles.
Get all the latest Over60 news, offers and articles.